Stagecoach of the future

 NEON CITY (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Dirty, messy, unfocused "Mad Max" rip-off are the first words that occurred to me while watching "Neon City." I still gave it a shot, even when we learn that some woman in a desolate, wintry landscape sells dog meat (yuck!) in some wooden shack. When you have a cast that includes the lovely Vanity, the tough-as-rusty-nails Michael Ironside and the late NFL defense lineman for the Cleveland Browns, Lyle Alzado, I wanted to be on board. After a practically worthless opening, the movie picks up a little speed and I sorta, kinda enjoyed it. 

It is the year 2053 and the world's climate has deteriorated due to the ozone layer thinning out completely. A scientist had screwed up with some scientific experiment and so a mutated group known as the Skins have become marauders who have seen "The Road Warrior" one too many times. A rough, no-holds-barred bounty hunter named Stark (convincingly played by Michael Ironside with a ponytail) has a prisoner with a red star tattoo in tow named Reno (Vanity) who torched her parents. He will turn her in and get his "credits" but unfortunately, he has take her to the safe haven of Neon City! This means getting on board a mobile transport with a motley crew of characters. They include a murderous doctor; a comedian who performs magic tricks; the aforementioned scientist who is trying to keep a low profile; Stark's ex who is getting married in Neon City and a socialite of sorts (Juliet Landau) who has presumably never been outside Neon City...except she has since she is in this vast wasteland. A few stops along the way to a bar/restaurant, a clinic littered with corpses, and deadly climate obstructions (Xander Clouds and Brights) eventually lead to that city!   

"Neon City" has a grungy, low-tech, micro-budget feel that is completely appropriate to this oft-old tale but it is nothing special or particularly memorable. You'll come away wishing there was more intimacy between Vanity and Michael Ironside (a most unlikely pair who have sex in a series of Hallmark dissolves) and some measure of camaraderie between all the other characters. It has been described as a futuristic variation on "Stagecoach" and, though it is not close to the same cinematic level, you will not feel like you wasted your time.

Pledge your love or die

 CHRISTINE (1983)

Remembering that darling '58 Plymouth Fury 

by Jerry Saravia

"Christine" is a wild gorilla of a movie. I compare it to a gorilla because it looks harmless yet, provoke it or make it jealous, it can turn fearsome and kill you. Based on Stephen King's supernatural novel, "Christine" unfolds with a leisurely pace and the brief excursions into supernatural horror tropes occurs in spades. The movie is a master class in making a horror film palatable to the audience, to reveal itself first and foremost through its characters and then scare us.

Set in late 1970's, nerdy, clumsy high school senior Arnold "Arnie" Cunningham (Keith Gordon who is exceptionally good) is threatened by bullies during shop class with a switchblade on his first day of school. Arnie's best friend, Dennis, a sweet-natured jock (John Stockwell), intervenes and is always there for his buddy no matter what. While driving through a deserted road, Arnie spots a dirty, seemingly broken-down 1958 Plymouth Fury car on someone's lawn and is instantly smitten. Arnie buys the car, despite Dennis's objections, and at a garage owned by a most repugnant man, Darnell (Robert Prosky, making us smell the oil and grease just by his mere appearance), the Plymouth Fury is worked on becomes a pristine car. It is in such pristine condition that you feel just grazing the classic car or touching it might kill you (and you would be right). The car has a supernatural bent to it and it feels emotions - jealousy may cause Christine to disrupt the ignition. Drop some cigarette ash on the seat or, in the film's most grueling moment, have the car's entire body frame, hood and headlights get smashed by those bullies and Christine will find you on those lonely city streets at night. Beware. 

Christine has an adverse effect on Arnie who changes his attitude, loses the glasses, wears fashionable clothes, struts like no one's business with confidence, and threatens his parents with obscene language. Arnie begins dating Leigh (Alexandra Paul), the new beguiling student at school, but their drive-in date turns into a disaster involving her getting locked in the car and almost choking to death. The romance soon turns sour and Arnie also stops seeing his best buddy, Dennis. Christine also begins her nightly rampage of chasing down those who hate her and Arnie. Comical moments develop before the violence erupts when Christine starts playing 1950's rock and roll tunes like "Pledging My Love" and "Little Bitty Pretty One." 

I've seen "Christine" many times and it is always been a mesmerizing, sometimes terrifying treat of a movie. From director John Carpenter, it is extra special for not containing an abundance of gore (the kills are practically off-screen including a scary gas station explosion scene). This could have been a slasher film with a car killing someone every few minutes. "Christine" plays by different rules and has a stylish veneer to it. "Christine" is beautiful, really, now please let me start the ignition.  

Wile E. Coyote becomes an ominous sign

 THE SUGARLAND EXPRESS (1974)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

A cross-country trip with an escaped convict and a ditzy girlfriend, along with a naive cop in tow, has been a formula recipe for action-driven scripts for years since the 1970's. The remarkable thing about "The Sugarland Express" is that it is a fun, raucous ride despite needing an infusion of deeper character interplay. Also, this trip is mostly through the state of Texas. 

William Atherton is the slightly dim Clovis who is incarcerated and will be released in four months. Goldie Hawn is Lou Jean, Clovis's wife, and she is visiting him after a long journey only to tell him the marriage is over. Their own son is in foster care and there's nothing Jean can do about it. End of movie? No, this is just the beginning of an endless chase film when Jean decides that Clovis needs to leave with her and get their young son. They escape in an older couple's car though the old man can't speed up. Finally, after a cop pulls them over for slowing down traffic, Clovis and Jean take the wheel and leave like a bat out of hell. A initially nervous patrolman Slide (Michael Sacks) chases them, is held hostage and forced to drive the couple in his squad car. You would think a less obvious vehicle would be more beneficial, but then you would be lying. In what seems like a whole squadron of police cars, the chase is on...in slow motion! That's right, they are on all their tail but the felons and the patrolman are not exactly traveling at high speeds. At one point, they pull over to get gas while the other officers also get gas! 

"The Sugarland Express" benefits greatly from the appearance of Ben Johnson as Captain Tanner, who realizes the felons are just a couple of kids. Yes, they are, and contextually they are not quite the imminent threat of the murderous felons from "Badlands" - they just don't know better. Goldie Hawn shows Jean as giddy and carefree, concerned over what type of bed to get for their boy. Jean puts on lipstick provided by locals (the threesome have become celebrities) and they receive odd gifts like a pig! There are just as many police cars on the chase as shown in "The Blues Brothers" with a few crashes along the way.  

There are few interactive moments between Clovis and Jean who love each other completely, though I wish there were more. One scene has them breaking in and staying in an RV at an auto lot. They manage to see through their window a Wile E. Coyote cartoon at a drive-in across the way. Clovis provides the soundtrack for the cartoon and, after a while, he turns silent and stares at the screen. Jean keeps giggling. It is a transcendental moment and an ominous sign for Clovis without much explanation or words. "The Sugarland Express" is an expertly made chase picture but it is the quieter moments that really resonate. 

Live your life

 ALL OF US STRANGERS (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

If a man can't admit to being gay to his parents, then can he move on in life without such acceptance? Well, Adam (Andrew Scott) knows he is gay and accepts it. His parents might accept it or have trouble with his sexual orientation. As the film rolls with this oft-told tale of a single gay male coming to grips with his family possibly disowning him, my heart sank a little. I have seen many films about gay men and women who have had no trouble letting others know - think how in the 1990's, several independent films like "Go Fish" or "The Living End" explored LGBTQ lives without having to exploit the theme of "coming out." "All of Us Strangers" thankfully turns into some sort of quasi-metaphysical, dreamy and melancholic exploration of a man seeking solace from his parents. Without them, he can't move forward.

Adam is a forty-something TV/film writer living in a high-rise London apartment with only one other neighbor in the building. His life seems mundane as he watches TV, writes in his computer about his family that may or may not turn into a green-lit script, sleeps a lot and almost never leave his digs unless there is a fire drill. Adam's life seems empty, almost unrewarding. Never fear the excessive isolation when his drunken neighbor, Harry (Paul Mescal), arrives with liquor at Adam's apartment. Adam declines having Harry as a guest in his own home but then Adam warms up to Harry when they steadily develop a hot and heavy relationship - Harry is even able to bring Adam to a noisy dance club. Adam wants experiences but he can't let go of his parents.

Adam is confronting the realities of his lost family. His parents died in a car crash thirty years earlier and all that remains are the ghosts. Jamie Bell is Adam's father, who loves listening to Ink Spots records, and Claire Foy (in the film's most remarkable and nuanced performance) is Adam's loving mother. When she asks Adam if he has a girlfriend, his response is to come out of the closet. The nagging issue with the mother is that she is thinking in a 1990's lens about gays before they later became accepted. She is uncertain about the news yet she also has an unconditional love for Adam. So does the father. 

"All of Us Strangers" is a smoothly paced and hallucinatory film with no full disclosure of what is real or mere hallucination. The family discussions that Adam and his ghostly parents have together is often reminiscent of Ingmar Bergman's acute merging of reality and fantasy. Adam's love for his parents hasn't withered and, though they died when he was 12, he can't let them go so he merely sees as them living in the same Croydon home he grew up in.Writer-director Andrew Haigh invests wisely on the emotional toll it takes for Adam to come to grips with some form of reality - to be able to move on to that plateau called life. Though I wished there was a deeper connection between Adam and Harry that took place on that plateau, "All of Us Strangers" is a very moving, sad and practically unforgettable tale of a lonely man. What started off as a potential cliche turns into a dramatic tour-de-force for all involved. This film is to be treasured. 

Heartbreak is life just educating us

 MEN DON'T LEAVE (1990)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally seen in 1991)

It is nothing but heartbreak and relentless heartache in "Men Don't Leave," a rather offbeat domestic drama about a widow learning to cope with loss, with everything she thought she knew but has no idea how to deal with it going forward. What is so terrific about the film is that Jessica Lange plays the widowed mother of two sons who leaves her home for an apartment in Baltimore City. Lange conveys everything you want and need to know about this woman and how much suffering she's going through, even if it isn't always apparent. 

Lange is Beth MacAuley and she finds a job as an assistant manager at a gourmet food place called Lisa, run by a very finicky Lisa of course (memorably played by Kathy Bates). Beth has her two boys, the rebellious teenager Chris Macauley (Chris O’Donnell) and 9-year-old Matt Macauley (Charlie Korsmo). Chris simply wants to do what he wants, especially dating an older woman named Jody (Joan Cusack) who lives in the same apartment building. Matt won't cry about his father's accidental death and starts stealing VCR's with a classmate, just so that he can have enough money to return his family home. Home is where the heart is in his old house. 

Meanwhile, Beth meets a "weird" musician (Arliss Howard) during a food delivery and a relationship strikes where he makes it clear that bowling is as physical as they will get. Beth clearly is not ready for her new life and when he loses her job, everything becomes a shambles. She loves to bake to relax yet, one night, she throws her oversized muffins out the window! She can't get out of bed and it takes Jody to get her out of the slump and in a hot air balloon ride! 

None of this may read as extraordinarily believable, especially on paper, but it is Jessica Lange who makes everything seem possible. The lonely Beth is trying to move on and the hardships and emotional toll follow with a great deal of emotional sensibility. Arliss Howard seems like a contrivance as the musician who loves Beth unconditionally yet he also takes great pains to make him credible as a human being. Joan Cusack is not nearly as over-the-top as she can get in some movies and she also shows sensitivity as Jody, and wants to make a better life for everyone. A new family unit emerges. 

"Men Don't Leave" is a tearjerker but it is so life-affirming, so moving without jerking tears so obviously that I found myself weeping by the end. Sure, there are some cliches and foreseeable moments but the movie still works because it never feels false. A most unusual family film from Paul Brickman, the writer-director of "Risky Business." 

Crime doesn't pay and nor does stupidity

 BADLANDS (1973)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Badlands" is infrequently an insufferable chore to sit through yet it is also a stunningly poetic film about something that shouldn't be so beautifully portrayed - aimless young people on a crime spree. For its 1970's context, think "Bonnie and Clyde" yet more brutal and less engaging in emotions. This young couple could care less, roaming through the Dakotas and Montana on the run without a thought in their heads. 

Naturally with first-time director Terrence Malick, the young couple are not romanticized nor are they colorfully or cartoonishly portrayed - they are just boring. Martin Sheen is 25-year-old Kit who can't hold a job as a garbage collector yet he is handy with a gun - when he aims to shoot, he never seems to miss his human target. As he rolls through town, he spots an innocent fifteen-year-old girl named Holly (Sissy Spacek) and all he wants to do is walk with her and speak his mind. Truth is Kit has nothing to say and has little to no regard for anyone except himself. Holly sees him as a James Dean-type which was enough to make want to vomit. There is a nonchalant void in these two from the start so when Kit shoots Holly's stern father (Warren Oates), I wasn't surprised yet I still felt a sudden shock. The twosome burn the house down, leave an audio recording where they claim to have killed themselves, briefly live in the woods in their own little ramshackle wooden shack and pack up and leave after they kill some passerby (bounty hunters, Kit seems to think). 

"Badlands" is a road movie about two nihilistic nitwits who are as stupid and shallow as you can imagine. Kit fancies himself as James Dean yet he possesses no intelligence. When Holly approaches potential shooting victims, she just says "Hi!" Kit whirls his gun and kills without much hesitation, though he at least issues a warning. A scene involving an innocent couple who inadvertently show up at Kit's co-worker's house is one of the more shocking because we do not see anything - shots are fired plainly as the couple is forced into a storm cellar but no blood is shown. What is striking is one sequence where Kit forces himself into a rich man's home and doesn't kill the rich man or the maid. Why? Who can say except that maybe the rich man did not yell or act aggressive or retaliate? When we get to the eventual capture of Kit and Holly after an exhaustive manhunt, Kit thanks the police for capturing him and knows he has become some sort of mini-celebrity.  

Based on the infamous 1950's crime spree perpetrated by Charles Starkweather and Caril Fugate (the similar incidents as depicted in the film were much worse in reality), Malick has made an intelligent, psychological observation of stupid kids. Crime doesn't pay and nor does stupidity.  

Breaking of a Hard Heart

 THE DOCTOR (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed in 1991

William Hurt makes every movie he's in intrinsically watchable. No matter the range of subjects or characters he's played, next to "The Accidental Tourist," the sarcastic doctor who shuns emotion to his patients in "The Doctor" is a tour-de-force. Hurt stands out because he underplays so beautifully that every variation of his doctor character coming to grips with his profession truly makes its mark.

Dr. Jack McKee (Hurt) is a brain and lung surgeon who sings along to Jimmy Buffett songs while doing open-heart surgery. The doctor is hardly stoic - he is lively in his manner, encouraging everyone to sing especially one of the reluctant nurses. Jack is married to Anne (Christine Lahti, also nicely underplaying) and they have a son who never sees much of his father. Jack is forgetful of his son's PTA meetings and Anne tries her best to be understanding - their love is genuine with the only real crisis being the renovation of a kitchen that Jack desires. Jack and Anne can laugh together yet Jack is resists engaging in honest talk without cracking a joke. The same is true of his several patients, one of whom is concerned over surgical scars and all he can say is, "Tell your husband you look like a Playboy centerfold, and you have the staples to prove it." He is not callous exactly, he just has to feign callousness through sharp-tongued humor that is not always appreciated.

But then sickness enters McKee's life when a malignant tumor is found in his throat. An ENT specialist (Wendy Crewson), Dr. Abbott (who shows complete indifference), diagnoses him and McKee starts to notice what he never noticed before. He is now a patient in his own hospital and is seeing how doctors are not always present, paperwork is not always ready to be filled out, there is some red tape around test results, and so on. Doctors don't show much emotion to him despite being a surgeon in his own hospital - his job status doesn't entitle to him to any privileges including not using a wheelchair which every other patient must use. 

Jack also sees how his tumor can cause changes in his own life, including seeing how others suffer. He has kept his eyes and his emotions shut off for too long, using humor as his tonic. June (a dazzling Elizabeth Perkins) has a brain tumor and is put off by Jack's consistent arguing with the hospital staff. Eventually Jack clings to June since they both don't know when is their potential expiration date. June's prognosis is more severe and Jack connects with her - her anger where it almost lead to her jumping off a roof when discovering she had cancer until she saw a pigeon strangely looking at her is quite the revelation. 

Superlatively directed with care and sensitivity by Randa Haines ("Children of a Lesser God"), "The Doctor" also shows Jack's seemingly rocky marriage to Anne and he hides when he could talk to her, or he hides through angry tirades and cracking jokes (the latter is true with his patients). When his tumor is removed and part of his vocal chords, there is a tremendously overpowering scene where Jack sees only love around him, indulging in it, and embraces Anne who is in tears and is reminded of his tenderness. The moment reminds Jack of the glorious dance he had with June in the desert. This is one of those glorious sentimental films where every emotion is earned and felt through your body. It further establishes William Hurt as one of the premier actors of this or any generation.

Quiet regret in William Hurt's finest hour

 THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST (1988)

An Appreciation by Jerry Saravia

The stiff-lipped and emotionally withdrawn Macon Leary (William Hurt) writes travel guide books. He is known as the Accidental Tourist and writes about how to travel to other places without ever feeling homesick, specifically for the traveling businessman. Macon writes with organizing skill about all the do's and don'ts of travel such as taking a carry-on bag, small envelopes of laundry detergent, where to find American food in foreign countries, etc. He is detailed and organized, stating in his books the decent hotel plumbing in some European cities. Other than scoffing at the idea of bringing private mementos that could be lost in a trip, you wouldn't suspect that Macon is a hurting, despondent man who lost his young son years ago and has an unhappy home with his wife who is seeking a divorce.

"The Accidental Tourist" almost reads like an adaptation of a Russell Banks novel though it is not as despairing. Anne Tyler's very masterfully delicate and emotional novel is beautifully adapted by writer-director Lawrence Kasdan and neither handles this material as simply a family tragedy. The depressing notion of losing a child in a senseless act of violence is not treated as an afterthought but as a prism for this married couple who have been unable to cope with each other. Kathleen Turner as Sarah Leary, Macon's soon-to-be-divorced wife, has been unable to live another day without feeling morose. Macon has been suffering yet it is suffering in muted fashion - he keeps going on but has not provided comfort for his wife during this agonizing ordeal. When Sarah reveals she is leaving him, his feelings slowly come to the surface though he still keeps them confined through his own anger at her. Quick moments of harshness and anger inform Macon - he is not an easy man to love or to hate. Macon has the self-knowledge of his loneliness and misery yet he wishes not to articulate his feelings.

What is deeply trenchant about the film are not just the complex emotions but also the humorous touches. Macon lives in good old Baltimore and stays with his siblings briefly after breaking his leg (Sarah can't take care of him since she lives in an apartment, so it is up to Macon's matronly sister, Rose). The Learys are just as organized in their habits as Macon is. Sincere Rose (Amy Wright) places food items in the cabinet in alphabetical order. The two brothers, Porter and Charles (the perfectly cast Daniel Ogden Stiers and Ed Begley, Jr.), are orderly to some degree and play card games every night after supper. I love that Kasdan spends a little time with these brothers and the spirited sister, to show that Macon's indifference to emotions comes from somewhere. There is relentless telephone ringing in their house which they never answer, even if Porter might be calling since he gets lost frequenting to the hardware store. 

Just as beguiling is the introduction of Muriel Pritchett (a gloriously kooky and sympathetic performance by Geena Davis) who works at an animal hospital and knows how to make dogs obey commands. Since Macon's dog, a corgi, has recently bit him, he takes up Muriel's offer to train the dog. This, of course, develops into a romance but not immediately. Macon turns down Muriel's dinner invite and, in a very powerful scene, tells her about the loss of his son and his inability to move past it. William Hurt conveys everything about Macon's inability to socialize, to have friends, resisting intimacy, etc. It is a performance showing such quiet regret that it is easily my favorite Hurt performance.

"The Accidental Tourist" always stayed with me and felt genuine with its bottled emotions from the Learys, and Davis's Oscar winning performance as a woman who wishes to help others. She is the real article, a woman who knows who she is and what she wants. Macon eventually comes out of his shell. It is a revelation in every way and, yes, a superbly revealing film that is very closely connected with the Anne Tyler novel (a smooth, mesmerizing read for book lovers). "The Accidental Tourist" is something I needed to unknowingly revisit now in my fifties and I am glad I did.  

Nailing the zeitgeist and throwing in a body count

 EDDINGTON (2025)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Eddington" is a small-scale Western-of-sorts, a mere microcosm of the early days of COVID-19 when everyone wore surgical masks, stayed indoors and decided that working from home was the new normal. My memory of it was the value of convenience, that shutting yourself from the world and viewing it from the prism of Zoom virtual meetings and obsessing over social media was a new way of living. In a sense, we still practice that insularity - when we leave our homes, our smartphones and iPhones have become our plastic bubbles and we don't leave home without them. We have Doordashed ourselves out of existence, to some extent. "Eddington" is about the fears and anxieties of the new normal yet it also cultivates how our 24-hour news cycle is extended from our phones and that rational thought has gone out the window. That makes "Eddington" worthwhile even when it shifts gears into hyper-violent overdrive. 

The movie begins with a close-up of a homeless man's feet as he walks through the barren lands of lovely New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment. As he is walking and pontificating incoherently, we see the small desert town of Eddington is being used for an upcoming A.I. data center. It is nighttime as Sheriff Joe Ross (Joaquin Phoenix, beautifully understated) is out on patrol and doesn't realize or concede that there is a geographical division between the pueblo and the town limits of Eddington. The Sheriff is berated by the pueblo cops for not wearing a mask. The fictional Eddington is like any other small town in New Mexico until nationwide news hits of the murder of George Floyd. Protests start with young white people becoming progressively ashamed of being white, of having privilege and for stealing the land from the Native Americans. All this becomes manufactured hate against whites, parroting what other protesters are doing around the country in what became known as the Black Lives Matter movement. The problem is that Sheriff Ross can only handle so much protesting since he only has two other deputies.

Meanwhile, Ross hates the mayor (Pedro Pascal) and plans to run against him! Ross also hates wearing masks and hates the government for the new laws of protecting oneself amidst a growing crisis. There are domestic issues with Ross's mentally unbalanced wife, Louise (a nearly unrecognizable Emma Stone), who has a developing interest in a cult lead by Vernon Jefferson Peak (Austin Butler, who resembles Jim Morrison). Louise's mother, a conspiracy nut job (Deirdre O'Connell), lives with the miserable married couple. Happiness is not central to anyone's existence in this town.     

"Eddington's" focus from COVID mania and individual rights and freedoms switches to almost blood-curling terror with increasing tension filling every frame. A political murder has taken place and determining the assassin(s) identity infects a town embroiled in an increasing body count. Tension is writer-director's Ari Aster's forte and despite the mortality rate stemming from characters you least expect to get offed, "Eddington" abandons political machinations for bloody killings and executions. The various themes of humanity pushed to the edge when it comes to how tragedy is perceived and dealt with rather than analyzed with a fine tooth comb gives the film a real lift and attentively channels the zeitgeist. When the killing starts, it all feels slightly uneven and off-kilter. One, two murders might have been sufficient rather than the last half-hour devoted to eruptive sniper fire and one crucially timed explosion.

"Eddington" starts as small-town chaos that boils to high temperatures. As a COVID suspense western thriller, the film technically works and makes you sweat. At 2 1/2 hours, I have to give it credit for pushing all the heated political buttons but I still could have done with less gunfire.  

Cheryl Smith's prep for appearing in the Runaways band

 LEMORA: A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL (1973)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Poor blonde Christian choir girl Lila Lee runs away from the town where she sings. She is living with a Reverend and decides to find her father, a gangster who killed his wife and her lover, because she forgives - it is in her nature to forgive. The townspeople seem like a wretched group of bestial, scarred, ugly, pale-looking men such as a bus ticket vendor and the bus driver! Lechery seems to be in their minds when they witness this virginal 13-year-old girl.

"Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural" is one of those ridiculous 1970's independent horror flicks that has some measure of atmosphere (shot with what looks like bluish filters and apropos day for night cinematography) and not a whole lot more to recommend it. While Lila escapes from a bus accident, dozens of monstrous vampires chase her. Lila runs for an eternity. She is housed in a cell with bars that look like they are made of papier mache. There is an old hag who brings her plates of food, and a lot of pale-faced children who giggle uncontrollably (and I think one of them wears a pirate costume). Eventually, we are introduced to the quiet, insidious nature of Lemora (Lesley Gilb), a queen vampire, who wants nothing more than to bathe and massage Lila and give her a proper bedroom environment. Obviously Lemora has more supernatural plans for Lila. Oh, yes, and the Reverend (Richard Blackburn, also the director) is on a journey to find her. And Lila escapes Lemora's mansion and runs. She runs and runs from the vampires who look like mutated zombies. There's also a clan of cloaked vampires who form inner circles holding torches. Might I also mention that Lila hides inside a coffin and then escapes and goes off running again. The late actress Cheryl Smith, who later joined the Runaways band, is clearly agile at running and has a properly serene, angelic look as Lila.

"Lemora" is not much of a movie, though, and not much fun to watch. There are one or two moments of terror that are unlikely to scare an 8-year-old kid. Lesley Gilb looks more like a horror hostess than some ancient vampire. Still, if you like watching an innocent young girl run through the woods and various rooms and abandoned buildings, I suppose you could do worse.  

Laughable slasher tendencies

 SCHIZOID (1980)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

There are so many unintentionally hysterical moments in 1980's slasher "Schizoid" that I had a hard time getting bored. "Schizoid" is nothing new in the slasher film genre and it would be understandably forgotten if not for the magnetic presence of Klaus Kinski, who I expected to give a toweringly hammy performance. He is up for it yet his performance is gentler and the other actors are, surprisingly, hammy and over-the-top.

A savage killer adorning a black hat and black coat is killing women from a therapy group with a pair of scissors. Sometimes, the killer taunts them and then kills them. One such scene features a woman from the group riding her bicycle who is hit by the killer's car. She survives her fall and then runs into an abandoned house and you can guess the rest. Is it Dr. Peter Fales (Kinski) who lives in a mansion with his very troubled and near-suicidal daughter (Donna Wilkes, who later had the lead in the equally trashy and entertaining "Angel")? Dr. Fales seems creepy from the start indicated by Kinski's bulging eyes, and he stares at his daughter who disrobes and takes a shower. Whatever incestual innuendoes exist are forgotten as the film progresses.  

Newly divorced Julie Caffrey (Mariana Hill) writes an advice column dispensing romantic advice and gets threatening letters in the mail - she is our main protagonist and a member of the group. The film gets sillier when we get Julie's ex-husband (Craig Wasson) who has a thing for redecorating his office with new wallpaper, and a maintenance man (Christopher Lloyd), also a patient in the group, who is eager to fix Julie's boiler! 

"Schizoid" is straight up stupidity as a thriller and as a whodunit (my guess of the murderer's identity turned out be wrong). Its saving grace is Kinski who looks savage and cruel and has sex with his female patients! This could have been a phenomenal psychological thriller under the right hands. What we get is another anonymous slasher film.     

Gambling or smuggling needed for ping pong success

 MARTY SUPREME (2025)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Marty Supreme" is a toy box movie with a huge, noisy rattle inside of it that lets out gunshots that will make your ears bleed. It is loud, obnoxious, rowdy, insane at its core and absolutely, without a doubt, very crudely entertaining. An audience member in the front row kept yelling at his date, "This is TOO MUCH. This is TOO MUCH!" I wanted him to leave (which he inevitably did) but I was more than willing to accept rabble-rouser Marty Mouser. As played by Timothee Chalamet, I didn't root for him exactly but I did admire his tenacity. 

Chalamet is Marty Mauser, a talented 22-year-old ping pong champion who wants to go after the big leagues and prove his worth and make millions. Easier said than done is something I have regurgitated once too often in my reviews. Heard this type of sports tale before? Of course, you have. Another film biography masquerading as truth littered with character inaccuracies to get to some possibly deeper truths? Oh, you bet, think "Bohemian Rhapsody" except only loosely inspired. Very loosely inspired, in fact so much so that the filmmakers have made it clear that this is not a biographical film based on the actual table tennis champion, Marty Reisman. 

What we have in "Marty Supreme" is an arrogant 1950's prick who knows how to climb high yet obstructions fill his life. At the start, Marty is a great shoe salesman working at his uncle's shoe store in the Lower East Side, New York, but his aspirations are to be a competitive table tennis star. His ping-pong skills are extraordinary yet real-life often interferes with his plans - of course, that won't stop him. When he can't get his 700 dollar paycheck he's owed from his uncle, he forces another shoe salesman at gunpoint to retrieve the money for airfare to the British Open! He makes it and wins big, and feels his talent should include a room at the Ritz and not some low-down hotel room! Then he successfully woos a married American actress, Kay Stone (Gwyneth Paltrow, in one of her finest roles in years). Kay is taken by this kid despite her reluctance to get intimately involved. Marty is unstoppable, however, as he relentlessly pursues, ridicules, offends and yet offers mea culpas to Kay's husband, Milton Rockwell (Kevin O'Leary) a wealthy ink-pen tycoon unaware of this affair. Milton wants Marty to participate in an exhibition ping pong game with the deaf Japanese opponent, Koto Endo (played by an actual deaf table tennis player, Koto Kawaguchi), who beat Marty. The exhibition is a purposeful sham and Marty decides to play against Endo without purposely losing.

"Marty Supreme" is chock full of haywire incidents that all stem from Marty's cheating, gambling, swindling, adulterous ways that are all part of his ambitious nature. Only his ambitions, though proven to be successful, involve less-than-savory attempts that are nothing to write home about. Marty Mauser is not a virtuous man and has no morals. He never tries to do the right thing because he can't, or he doesn't give it much thought. A chaotic sequence involving challenging other ping-pong players at a bowling alley leads to a gas station explosion that had me on the edge of my reclining seat. There's also the matter of the police hunting Mauser who has defied his uncle involving those 700 dollars, which leads to a hilarious scene where the motel room bathtub he's in crashes through the floor and traps an older motel occupant (creepily played by cult film director, Abel Ferrara) in his bathtub with his dog, Moses. There's also the matter of Marty's pregnant girlfriend (Odessa A'zion) who is married to someone else! She feigns having a black eye which leads Marty to striking her husband on the head with a trophy! Another brief fling with Kay leads to Marty almost getting arrested for having sex in Central Park at night. Then he runs into Milton again, and the movie never stops, never allows much time to breathe with 80's songs bridging scenes together and electronic music by composer Daniel Lopatin. This amoral kid is always on the run and so are we. 

"Marty Supreme" is the first figurative horror film biography I've seen that is as excessive as Oliver Stone's "The Doors." Timothee is so darn charismatic and so blazingly funny at times that you can't help but wonder how far the director Josh Safdie will go to dramatize these intense exploits. The film is performing well at the box-office as of this writing, but expect many audiences to scream "THIS IS TOO MUCH!"