Race for the exits!

RACE FOR THE YANKEE ZEPHYR (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

For an old-fashioned and eccentric adventure movie, "Race for the Yankee Zephyr" may excite some thrill-seekers but it is an underwhelming and trivial film. It bears the clout for a reasonable action picture with a fine cast and director, and it shortchanges everything that could make it work.

Set in New Zealand, drunk deer hunter Gilbert Carson (Donald Pleasance) inadvertently finds an old World War II DC-3 plane (known as the Yankee Zephyr) rise from the surface of a nearby lake. Helicopter pilot Barney (Ken Wahl - harboring no accent at all) is along for the ride in this precious discovery, although both are unaware that 50 million in cargo is inside the plane. Lesley Ann Warren is Gilbert's daughter, who doesn't have a trace of a New Zealand accent either. Some villains, headed by George Peppard in a delicious performance as a ruthless businessman, are very interested in that grand fortune. How do they find out that the Yankee Zephyr has been discovered in New Zealand? A simple phone call from a local merchant is all that is needed.

"Race for the Yankee Zephyr" has the distinction of having beautiful scenic shots of New Zealand (love the little cabin in the woods that Wahl and Warren frolic in) but little else to distinguish it from any made-for-TV action picture or series ("Tales of the Gold Monkey" is more fun than this picture). Wahl looks disinterested and Lesley Ann Warren looks like she wandered in for the chance to visit New Zealand. Only Donald Pleasance (most of his dialogue is unintelligible) and George Peppard give it a lift above the norm. A boat chase offers mild excitement but somehow director David Hemmings doesn't bring any level of excitement or wonder to anything else in the film. Stick with Indiana Jones or Harry Steele over this stale and indifferent adventure tale.

Drawing blanks

DRAWING FLIES (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Known as the "lost View Askew" film, "Drawing Flies" is one unusual picture. It starts as a Generation-X picture about lost jobs and welfare checks, and slowly segues into a road movie about a search for the Sasquatch creature in the endless wilderness area of British Columbia.

Jason Lee plays Donner, the leader of the group of Generation X slackers who leads them on to this expedition. At first, these slackers mostly sit around all day in their apartment doing absolutely nothing. Getting high, smoking marihuana and collecting unemployment is about all on their minds. Unfortunately, unemployment checks are suddenly running out, as the system cuts them off. They know not what to do. HINT: How about looking for a job? Instead, these slackers think it is cool to just hope their unemployment is reinstated. They go to a party to score beer and get high, but have to pay for admittance. It is at this point that I lost patience since I have seen so many similar films about the exact same situations. Richard Linklater's "Slacker" said it all, and with far more ingenuity and wit than the first twenty minutes of this film. Yes, even appearances by Kevin Smith as Silent Bob (this is View Askew, after all) and Joey Lauren Adams did not take me out of my doldrums.

Finally, a scene arrives where Donner tells his friends to wake up out of their hopeless funk, and go on a camping trip to some log cabin in British Columbia. Donner convinces them to go, riding in a van and with no cash and only the barest of food rations. There are lots of scenes of campfires, beer kegs, a group of diaper-wearing adults, a lot of cussing, Jason Mewes living up to his reputation as, what else, a stoner, and a few one-liners and not much else, I'm afraid.

Most of "Drawing Flies" is vapid nonsense with no reason for its existence. Shot in grainy 16mm black-and-white, directors Malcolm Ingram and Matt Gissing cannot begin to approximate the engaging repartee of their View Askew god, Kevin Smith. At least, Jason Lee shines occasionally, as he shows Donner slowly losing his sanity, as does Renee Humphrey, and there is some of that desperation and ill will for the search for this "Bigfoot" that made me remember "The Blair Witch Project" (though this film was shot much earlier than "Blair"). Outside of that, there is not much here to draw attention.

Clashin' Ramones

END OF THE CENTURY (2003)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

After seeing "End of the Century," one might be tempted to nickname the Ramones the Clash. It was certainly a clash of personalities as evidenced by their disparate belief systems and constant temper tantrums. Joey Ramone, the lead singer of the band, was a leftist. Johnny Ramone was a staunch Republican ("God Bless George Bush"). Dee Dee Ramone was on higher ground than anyone else, albeit on a heroin high. Tommy Ramone was the drummer who basically ran their publicity machine. And to this day, the Ramones, the arbiters of punk rock, never got the recognition they deserved.

"End of the Century" begins with the ever-changing music culture in the mid-70's as the disco craze continued and the Osmonds ruled the airwaves. Suddenly, an unexpected explosion of rock erupted from Queens, NY in 1974. This explosion was a band called the Ramones, formed by four musicians from poor neighborhoods wearing matching blue jeans and leather jackets. Their two-minute songs ranged in subjects from, well, rock and roll to sniffing glue to teenage isolation. They were the official begetters of punk rock - a louder, in-your-face form of rock and roll. As seen in some original concert footage from the CBGB's (a dank New York club), they were indeed loud and would often argue on stage about what song to perform. The Ramones were beloved in New York City, England and abroad, and produced 18 studio and live albums (they inspired a movement that included the Clash and the Sex Pistols). The problem was that they failed to create a sensation in America, though they created a mass sensation elsewhere. I remember my years at Jamaica High School where one girl, one girl mind you, spoke highly of the Ramones (and included her appreciation of them in the senior yearbook) - she was vilified for being a fan (not many at Jamaica High School in the late 80's were fans of punk rock).

"End of the Century" features revealing interviews with the band and the different members that came and went in later years. There are tales of the growing animosity and discomfort that developed when Johnny Ramone stole Joey's girlfriend and married her - they stayed as bandmates but the tension was always there (one song they performed, "The KKK Took My Baby Away," even deals with their love triangle). There are also revealing tidbits about CBGB's, the friction with producer Phil Spector holding the band at gunpoint, the cult film "Rock and Roll High School" that prominently featured their music, Dee Dee going solo and producing a truly moronic though energetic rap video, the notion that Joey was never able to talk about the band in press interviews (Johnny was the spokesman), their inspirations such as MC5 and New York Dolls, and much more. Diehard Ramones fans (and rock fans in general) will find plenty of insight into the punk rock scene.

At a little over two hours, "End of the Century" does a cohesive, compelling job of detailing the band's disillusionment with their status (forced to play at clubs rather than arenas through most of their career), the individual personalities of the bandmates, and the music culture that changed with each decade yet they kept their integrity, including their outfits. Compared to most rock documentaries, "End of the Century" has a melancholy tone that considers what might have been since the revolutionary Ramones never reached the mass audience they sought (the fates of some of the band members is just as sad) . The film wants you to feel sore about their lack of mass appeal, and one can't help but wonder why some forms of music, like rap, took off and others hardly raised an eyebrow. Maybe the Ramones were too punk for any generation, too angry. Perhaps a band that was upfront and confrontational was more than any American audience could stand for.

I am a teacher! So sue me!

TEACHERS (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

American cinema during the 1980's was not any sort of breakthrough era. Still, even with many films that failed to captivate, something was always being said that seemed to speak from the heart. That is the case with the intrinsically watchable and flawed "Teachers," a satire of the education system with enough memorable scenes and performances to warrant a special viewing.

Nick Nolte, in of his best roles, plays the perfect Nolte blowhard - a teacher with hangovers. Yep, the first words out of his mouth in the morning may as well be, "Awwwww, sh@#!" Anyway, this time, he is a teacher named Alex Jurel. He convinces dates he is a licensed pilot, save for that "Teacher of the Year" plaque (Who keeps such a thing on their kitchen counter?) A typical Monday morning involves more than any teacher could bear (and, yes, even more than the shenanigans at "High School High"). A student bites a teacher. A teacher throws ink at another teacher. The principal is unaware and clueless. A gym teacher has sex with a student (how utterly prescient!) A narc sticks out like a sore thumb. A stern teacher has a class where he never interacts with the students, merely mimeographs his lesson plans. A mental patient pretends to be a substitute. Oh, and Alex teaches his students about how to fix a window with the proper tools. To top it all off, a lawsuit has been filed against the school for graduating an illiterate student. Yes, a typical Monday morning.

As for the lawsuit, Vice Principal Roger Rubell (Judd Hirsch) assures the school superindentent (Lee Grant) that the teachers will claim they had no knowledge of the student's illiteracy despite the student's passing grades. But there is a slight problem - Alex was once a visionary and thought he could make a difference in students' lives. He feels obligated to help a troubled illiterate, Eddie (Ralph Macchio), and this can spell doom for the lawsuit.

I think we can see where "Teachers" is headed. Despite a silly subplot involving a lawyer (Jobeth Williams), a former student of Alex's who falls for him, most of "Teachers" is entertaining and inspiring. As directed by Arthur Hiller, it has enough subtlety and simple, stable camera set-ups to really drive forward the satire. Sometimes, it can get a little heavy-handed but never preachy.

Nolte has never given a bad performance and brings an honesty to the role that eclipses every other actor in the movie. Macchio is not completely credible as a Fonz-like hooligan but he is watchable. Same with the brazen antics of Crispin Glover as another troubled student who plays pranks on every teacher, including stealing their desks! Judd Hirsch lends credibility and unmistakable pathos as a school official who has to play by the rules, and hopes everyone does likewise. Jobeth Williams is not always convincing as the prosecuting lawyer, and her final scene is ridiculous and will leave you chuckling for all the wrong reasons. Major heaps of praise, though, go to Morgan Freeman as the defense lawyer who handles the depositions (before he played a teacher himself in "Lean on Me"), Allen Garfield as the nervous, caffeinated teacher, the late Royal Dano as the inexpressive teacher who suffers a horrible fate, and the priceless Steven Hill as an attorney.

"Teachers" is occasionally melodramatic but never too exaggerated for maximum effect. It teeters between seriousness and comedy and not always smoothly, but it has vitality and strength. The movie leaves you inspired in the hopes that a teacher can make a difference after all.

Resolve and Shop

W. (2008)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Oliver Stone's "W." is his least angry film to date. The reason I say "least angry" is because if nothing else, the country grew to be angrily anti-Bush since the Iraq War began (in fact, this country might be angrier than Stone in the last eight years). Bush has been seen as a warmonger and an unintelligent dullard who couldn't speak in complete sentences, couldn't give an interview worth a damn, and was contradicting himself from one day to the next in all of his press conferences (he once told an interviewer that he felt the war in terror couldn't be won, and then the Republicans came out saying he didn't mean it). I think few can argue with Bush's lack of presence of mind and, as protracted and silly as some elements of the film are, "W." is occasionally a breathless bio of Dubya, though nowhere near as powerful or incendiary as Stone's own "Nixon," easily one of the great political biographies ever.

Josh Brolin is Dubya, from his Yale days as a heavy drinker and fraternity player, to his failure at holding numerous jobs that his father, the strict Bush Sr. (James Cromwell), helps him get including an oil rig, a baseball team owner, to his days as a Governor of Texas, and finally as the 43rd President of the United States. The movie adopts a non-linear narrative as we sense Bush can't seem to do anything right. That is until he quits drinking, helps his father win the Gulf War (with some added help from Karl Rove, a historical revision considering Rove was fired by George H.W. Bush's campaign for leaking a negative story about a fundraiser chief), and finally sees it as a message from God to be President. Dubya's mission is to go to Iraq after 9/11 because some connection is established between Saddam Hussein and the Al-Qaeda terrorist group. But is he merely exploiting his father's legacy with Iraq or trying to prove to his father that he can succeed as something, like being President of the U.S.! He can't hack it as Governor, an oil rig worker or anything else and he seems to ease into his presidency with lots of help. Oh, the irony, the nepotism, the Freudian irony.

Stone and his screenwriter Stanley Weiser ("Wall Street") have used several books on Bush to adapt the life of what some regard as the worst U.S. President in history (some historians point to Harry S. Truman or Herbert Hoover as infinitely worse). Stone doesn't seem to hold any one opinion on Dubya at all - he basically presents us with this Alfred E. Newman-type and consciously doesn't want us, the voters, to repeat the same mistake again. As expected from Stone, especially after "Nixon," the movie assumes empathy and a degree with sympathy for someone who has abused his power to perform historical actions, like a pre-emptive war strike, taking away liberties from its own citizens in the interests of a "Patriot Act," and so on. Clearly, if you have lived through the last eight Bush years, you know what to expect from Stone's film. Building on the humanity of the man, Josh Brolin is so brilliant as Bush Jr. (encompassing virtually every frame of the film) that it is hard to resist the film, despite a drawn-out narrative which includes AA meetings with an Evangelical Reverend (powerfully played by Stacy Keach) and one too many conversations with George Sr. The movie aims for a more Freudian subtext than needed, something that "Nixon" only flirted with. In "Nixon," we saw a more full-bodied portrait of the man behind the President, in addition to the media outcry, the war protests (Vietnam then) and a three- dimensional relationship between Nixon and his wife, Pat. "W." only seems fit to skirt the characters and the political turmoil rather than embody them. More of Laura Bush enabling Dubya would've been nice.

Speaking of, "W.'s" most involving scenes feature young Bush's romance with Laura Bush (a dynamic Elizabeth Banks) as they work together during his early campaigning for Governor of Texas (we see that Bush Jr. is more willing to punch below the belt than his father, particularly when attacking the late Ann Richards). And though many know what led to the Iraq War, Stone knows how to thrillingly stage scenes in the War Room as all the Bush administration figures gather to make this war possible, and to resist ending it. Interestingly, it shows Bush is not paid attention to and implicitly exists as some sort of patsy where all the blame can be laid on this dullard without question. Also worth noting is that the film sees Condoleezza Rice (Thandie Newton in a strangely mannered performance) as a stick figure with nothing to offer and Colin Powell (Jeffrey Wright) as a disgruntled general whose past experiences apparently mean very little (a heated exchanged between Powell and Scott Glenn's Donald Rumsfeld will make one chuckle). Added to that is a sneeringly evil and charismatic Dick Cheney (astoundingly played by Richard Dreyfuss, who deserved an Oscar nomination) and a subdued evil presence in subtle strokes by Toby Jones as Karl Rove, the Deputy Chief of Staff, the manipulator behind the scenes who teaches Bush how to address the press during Bush's first run for governor.

"W." is one of Ollie Stone's mellower films and gives Dubya the benefit of the doubt (Stone insists that he stopped hating Bush after 2004). The film does not give an endorsement of Bush's policies nor does it completely condemn them. It states that Bush became a man and showed his dad that he could rise as a leader, and not be seen as the black sheep of the family. Ironically, it also shows he failed despite succeeding. A fascinating and flawed portrait with Josh Brolin giving Bush a strong measure of humanity, but this W is still no Tricky Dick.

Spinning Top might make your eyes dizzy, kid

IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY (1994)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I have a special memory in my heart for Bob Clark's "A Christmas Story." It is as memorable and nostalgic a piece of Americana as almost anything else related to Christmas, including Santa Claus. The trick to the success of "A Christmas Story" is that it had wicked humor and poked fun at itself. This rarely discussed sequel, "It Runs in the Family," is decent family fun but it loses a bit of the charm though, to be fair, it has a playful sense of wickedness.

Consider the setup. Kieran Culkin (replacing Peter Billingsley) plays Ralph Barker, the kid who once really wished for a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. Now, he seems to wander around the summer time, wallowing in his pride to get the perfect spinning top, the kind that is not too colorful in design but just big enough to make other kids envious. Alas, this spinning top doesn't quite make it as inspired as the Red Ryder BB gun (and who can forget that the latter might shoot your eye out!) but it will do. It's basically a way of getting even with the local bully Lug Ditka (the eternally creepy and creepier eyes of Whit Hertford).

Meanwhile, Dad (Charles Grodin replacing Darren McGavin) bears some hostility to the noisy hillbilly neighbors next door known as the Bumpus clan. Dad fights back by staging an air siren and military instructions with the help of a turntable and some speakers in one of the funniest scenes in the entire movie. Mom (Mary Steenburgen replacing Melinda Dillon) has an affinity for gravy boats that are marked with reproductions of movie stars and gets one every Ladies' Night at the local movie theater, along with an animated short! The problem is she is sick of having so many gravy boats, and who wouldn't be.

Along with the return of director Bob Clark and narrator Jean Shepherd, "It Runs in the Family" (also known as "My Summer Story") replicates some of the same spirit and joy of "A Christmas Story" but little in the way of novelty or true inspiration. The problem may be the casting of key roles. Kieran Culkin is a cute kid but he is no Billingsley, and hardly gives the role the wide-eyed innocence Billingsley gave. Charles Grodin is a bit miscast but he gives it a good try - still, he seems harmful in his attempts to deal with the Bumpus clan (hence, a little more wickedness than expected). The beauty of Darren McGavin is that he only suggested giving anyone hell, not like he really had the intent. Mary Steenburgen, however, is beautifully cast and displays a little more sass than Melinda Dillon gave the original to warrant sufficient praise.

"It Runs in the Family" was shamefully dumped into limited release in September of 1994 without any real advertising by MGM. Again, I may be biased in my nostalgia for the original, but this sequel is nowhere near as memorable or as charming as "A Christmas Story." Still, reliable Jean Shepherd's narration and a few funny scenes (including references to jawbreakers will please the tots and the adults) and some decent acting overall, not to mention an affection for an era that no longer exists, merits a mild recommendation.

Silent Night, Deadly boring Brady Night

A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS (1988)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Now here is some priceless dialogue for you to savor: "I am feeling terribler." That's one. The next one is a doozy. Here we go: "Don't be sorry. Just be Wally." Both lines come from one of the worst TV movies ever made, and I mean worse than anything Lifetime has to offer. Any TV series or movie that crosses over into the Yuletide season is bound to be a disappointment. Don't forget "Star Wars Holiday Special" or the unwatchable "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." Then there is 1988's truly awful "A Very Brady Christmas." It is so wretched, so cheesy beyond cheeseteaks and cheesecakes, so syrupy beyond saccharine that I gag at the revolting thought of ever having to sit through again.

Now "The Brady Bunch" I did watch when I was younger and in small doses in the last few years. It was an unrealistic family comedy where every problem could be resolved within a half-hour. Most sitcoms from "I Love Lucy" to "Father Knows Best" resolved difficulties in a small amount of time as well, but this show stretched the boundaries of even TV reality. Remember Marcia's big nose? How the family had a second floor yet the outside house looked like a rancher? How overlit their backyard was? How we never saw a bathroom with a toilet? Mike's hair changing color at the most inappropriate moment?

Some shows were better than others. I did like the episode about Jesse James - it had a nice moral to it. The whole Vincent Price/Hawaii/ black magic two-parter I will choose to forget. But producer Sherwood Schwartz really turns reality on its head with this Christmas movie. Oh, where shall I begin? Let's see - the kids are all adults. Some are married, some aren't. Peter (Christopher Knight) is having an affair with his boss, and oddly likes to wear a nightgown! Bobby (Mike Lookinland) has turned to race-car driving and abandoned business school, unbeknownst to his parents. Marcia (Maureen McCormick) is having financial problems with her husband Wally (Jerry Houser) who has lost his job at a toy factory! Jan (Eve Plumb) is separated from her husband, a professor whose workload takes precedence. Greg Brady (Barry Williams) is a doctor now, married to his nurse assistant! Meanwhile, the parents, Mike (the late Robert Reed) and Carol (Florence Henderson), are planning surprise trips to different countries for each other! Then they decide to stay home and invite all the kids and their spouses for Christmas! Where on earth will they find the room?

The rancher still looks like a rancher from the outside, but not inside. Mike is still a stubborn architect and thinks Christmas solves every problem, which of course it does in the Brady world. I did forget to mention Cindy (Jennifer Runyon replacing Susan Olson) who is treated like a child. She is expected to go to her parents house for Christmas, instead of having a boinking time at a ski resort before graduating college! Oh, and I did forget the maid Alice (Ann B. Davis) who is treated as a member of the family when her dear Sam abandons her and is not expected to cook for anyone, yet she remains the faithful maid till the end, cooking Christmas dinner and somehow still wearing her old blue uniform! Another doozy is that she is expected to pick all the kids up at the airport and carry their luggage! Shouldn't Mike do that?

What we learn from "A Very Brady Christmas" is that a mother can help a daughter fix her marriage by suggesting sex; singing "O Come All Ye Faithful" helps Mike Brady lift concrete slabs off of his legs; and the youngest child of the family, no matter how old he or she is, should sit at a separate table with tots. Couldn't the writers think of a more creative story for the Bradys? No wonder they were spoofed a few years later in "The Brady Bunch Movie." If all this is to your liking, you'll love this Brady movie. I loathed it.

Lonesome in his own Heartbreak Hotel

THIS IS ELVIS (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 

Elvis Presley is not just a rock and roll legend - by all accounts, he seemed to make it dangerous and brought the sex appeal to it right from its very roots. And in the intervening years after his Army stint, his various films, and some concerts to pull back the audience who loved him in the 1950's, he began to slide under the influence of drugs and sang some sappy songs, and some truly incredible, mind-blowing gospel type music. He had a revival and kept trying to revive himself...and had he not died, he might still be playing to sold-out crowds in the Vegas strip.

 

"This is Elvis" is a hugely enthralling and sometimes bizarre documentary with various reenactments and/or recreations of Elvis's childhood, his early teen years, and clearly odd moments such as Elvis visiting the hospital after his mother passed or swimming in the pool with Priscilla, his future wife. There is also tantalizing footage of the King of Rock and Roll himself, including now classic film clips from "Love Me Tender" and "Loving You." We see Elvis in his absolute prime, just before his G.I. Blues, in the Ed Sullivan Show and the Milton Berle show. After one of these tapings, Elvis could only be photographed from the waist up (Police file footage of one of the tapings might make one think: why did anyone think this was so obscene? Could it be the fact that Sun Records was looking for a white man who sang with a black sound and that this was potentially a problem in the racist America of the 1950's?) But when he gets back from the Army, he appears in a show hosted by Frank Sinatra ("The Frank Sinatra Timex Special") and, though the spark is there, Elvis is not quite there. It is a foreshadowing of the darker days ahead.

Johnny Harra as Elvis 42 (above)
David Scott as teen Elvis (below)

There is a wealth of previously unseen footage here (the private archives were generously given permission to the filmmakers by Colonel Tom Parker), from various press conferences where Elvis makes it clear he is just an entertainer and is not involved in speaking out politically, to a party in Germany where he is clowning around and smoking pot, to his wedding to Priscilla, to a Groucho Marx show where a female president of the Elvis Presley Fan Club shows off Elvis paraphernalia, to Elvis practicing karate with 10th degree Black Belt master and Elvis's bodyguard Ed Parker, to Elvis's final days where he is bloated and forgets the words to his own songs at a concert. And yet the voice transmits and is as beautiful and evocative as ever. Yet such scenes leaves one with some burning questions - would Elvis, who went beyond his devilish rock and roll classics to superb yet less rocky music like "Suspicious Minds," ever truly go back and make a dangerous record again? Or did his agent, Colonel Tom Parker, make it too difficult for him?

Several critics at the time of the film's release excoriated the filmmakers, Malcolm Leo and Andrew Solt (who went on to do 1985's "The Beach Boys: An American Band"), for the reenactments of key passages of Elvis's life. I rather enjoyed the good old days of Tupelo, Mississippi where we see a blonde-headed Elvis (Paul Boesnch III) singing at church and listening to some blues musicians in the segregated South. I also liked the opening sequence where we see Johnny Hara as a 42-year-old Elvis walking around his Graceland mansion (I've been in there and what is most striking is the numerous mirrors in every room). The teen Elvis years are also entertaining, though the late David Scott mostly shows how shy Elvis was in performing a song for a music class. Most of the Elvis impersonator bits do not bother me at all. I do find it a little silly to use actors to play concerned citizens about Elvis's welfare and his up and downs with Priscilla in the early 70's - it is all too obvious and pure hogwash (not to say fans were not concerned but who films and interviews a mechanic fixing his car in the middle of the road who is not even an Elvis fan?)

"This is Elvis" at its best shows a man at war with himself, overmedicating on prescription pills and Demerol (as evidenced by allegations from his former bodyguards). He ravages his appearance and his body, but not his voice. At the age of 42, Elvis died and left behind a legacy that is practically unparalleled in the history of rock and roll for good reason - he basically invented it. But a famous, iconic, generous family man with no privacy and a gradual loss of passion in his music, only to have it reinvigorated on occasion, is a tragic lesson in how crucial it is to maintain that balance between integrity and selling out while losing yourself by hiding. When he sings "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" and forgets the words, it becomes both humorous, touching and sad. His power will live on because no matter who you are, Elvis will always be the king of rock and roll and this strange, brilliantly fragmented and condensed documentary proves it.

Footnote: Elvis's impersonators include blonde-haired Paul Boensch III as Presley at age 10 (Tupelo, Mississippi in 1946); David Scott as Presley at age 18 (Memphis in 1953, singing in high school, and at a Sun recording session); Dana MacKay as Presley at age 35, and Johnny Harra as Presley at age 42 (Opening credits, August 16, 1977). Paul Boensch III is alive and well and sells Rolex watches. Dana MacKay, an Elvis impersonator who lived with his girlfriend in a mansion called "Mini Graceland," were both murdered in their home in 1993 in a still unsolved cold case. David Scott committed suicide at the age of 30, eerily also in 1993. Johnny Hara, another Elvis impersonator, died in 2011 at the age of 64.

A better-than-average Bruce Lee imitator

GAME OF DEATH II aka TOWER OF DEATH (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Game of Death II" is not all it is cracked up to be. Released in 1981 under the title "Tower of Death" and multiple alternate titles, it is an in-name only sequel to the despicable original film. It also does not star Bruce Lee, though we are led to believe he has top billing thanks to cribbed inserts from some of his early work. Still, this is a far more entertaining and cartoonish sequel with incredible fight choreography to compensate for scant plot and story.

Tai Chung Kim stands in, as he did in "Game of Death," as the actor Bruce Lee playing Billy Lo (the famed international martial-arts star from the original). Billy is saddened by the death of his good friend and proficient kung-fu expert, Chin-Ku (Hwang Jang Lee), who died under mysterious circumstances. Chin-Ku's illegitimate daughter has some reel of film in a box, a box too small to fit a reel of 16mm film (unless it is 8mm and only a couple of minutes long). This reel of film may point to the culprit of Chin-Ku's death. We get a few fight scenes on the streets of Japan and in some greenhouse (the latter is a deleted sequence from "Game of Death"). Then we shift to Lee/Lung perusing some book of artistic pornography, ostensibly belonging to Billy Lo's brother. Then there is Chin-Ku's funeral where his tomb is taken away by the steel claws of a helicopter. Billy Lo grabs onto the tomb and is killed by a poison dart. Shift to Bobby Lo (also played by Tai Chung Kim) who wants revenge for his brother's death. He is shown the film that Chin-Ku's daughter had, which contains footage of the Palace of Death where the dangerously brutal Lewis (Roy Horan) resides. Lewis is so brutal that he will scratch your chest and bite your finger, and his valet will break your neck! But somewhere in this Palace of Death resides the Tower of Death, a sort-of upside-down pagoda!

"Game of Death II" is mediocre kung-fu theatrics until Bobby Lo arrives at the ominous Palace of Death. We also have to sidestep a laughable-looking lion that attacks Bobby (simply a man dressed up in a lion outfit) and a blonde beauty sent by Lewis or someone else to kill Bobby. The movie is forty minutes of several fight scenes with hundreds of minions in the Tower of Death and the palace guards. There is also a booby trap worthy of Indiana Jones, and a final fight that has got to be one of the longest most imaginatively choreographed fight scenes I've ever seen. It goes on for so long that you'll wonder why neither opponent gets tired.

I first saw this film on TV and noticed that clips of Bruce Lee were used mostly from "Fists of Fury." However, the DVD version uses outtakes and deleted scenes from "Enter the Dragon," including a meeting with Roy Chiao as the abbott. The clips are not seamless, at least not enough to give the illusion that Bruce Lee is in the film. As for the rest of the picture, it is mostly a retread of "Enter the Dragon," including a moment where Bobby Lo is dressed in the same black suit Bruce Lee wore in "Enter the Dragon" while parading around the Palace of Death at night.

Certain questions pop in while watching this highly unbelievable, though fun-filled, action picture. Is Lewis evil or does someone else in that island want Bobby Lo dead? Why does Lewis's valet pretend to be handicapped? Why did Chin-Ku leave a roll of film with his estranged daughter?

Questions of logic abound, but who cares about logic in a kung-fu film? For true grindhouse picture fans, there is sex, Bruce Lee (sort of), interminable fight scenes, plenty of cartoonish violence, sword and staff fights, hungry lions, peacocks flying at a master's request, bad dubbing, and the power of drug trafficking. For myself, "Game of Death II" has so much humor, unintentional and otherwise, and such terrific pacing and excellent fight sequences that I can't imagine anyone passing it up. It's not one of the greats in a disreputable genre but it gets high marks as a superior improvement over the original "Game of Death."

Living in a Less-than-Material World

GREY GARDENS (1975)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 There is no way to describe "Grey Gardens" except as an elegiac poem of eccentric people. It is a devastatingly beautiful and serene documentary, unlike any I ever seen on any given subject. The fact that the Maysles brothers directed it (already having fashioned one of the best rock documentaries ever, "Gimme Shelter") should give everyone an understanding of how a documentary can be a work of art.

"Grey Gardens" takes place in a largely decrepit Easthampton, NY 28-room mansion where Edith Bouvier Beale and her daughter, Little Edie, reside. Edith and Edie mostly sleep in the same room where they keep a radio - their only real communication to the outside world. Newspapers litter their beds, though Edie keeps her bed made for the most part. Their diet consist of canned goods - Mrs. Beale mostly eats corn. Cats are everywhere, as is their urine. The attic has a large hole in the wall where Edie feed slices of Wonder Bread to the raccoons. The kitchen has counters with mounds of dust and who knows what else. And this is the mansion at its best, it was declared unlivable and a health hazard at one time until the Beales cleaned it up, somewhat.

The strange aspect of "Grey Gardens" is that Mrs. Beale and her daughter are related to Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy. You think they would ask for financial assistance but they are too stubborn and rebellious - the Beales are separate from what society expects of them. They wallow in filth and yet they are having a ball, to some degree. Mrs. Beale probably accepts that she will die in that mansion. Edie wants out but feels a responsibility to care for her ailing mother. Still, as she declares briefly, "I can't spend another winter at Grey Gardens." This documentary is like watching ghosts who have been forgotten and are living in isolation in an abandoned house.

"Grey Gardens" is not a comfortable viewing experience but it is an enlightening, poetic film due in part to the two women's discussions, rants, and raves and their desire to see some measure of optimism in their future. Mrs. Beale doesn't want the glamorous, beautiful pictures of yesteryear shown - she would rather forget the past. Edie insists on showing them, and sometimes she speaks in a whispering tone so her mother can't hear her - she wants to live in the present, not the past. Mrs. Beale sits outside on a lawn chair, taking in the sun, while Edie sunbathes on the beach. This is life in the mansion - separating their existence from the world that they are no longer a part of.

"Grey Gardens" is not exactly whimsical yet it is lyrical. The Maysles brothers have crafted an elegiac and bittersweet experience that is at odds with the norms and conventions of the typical documentary. It is sad yet uplifting, tragic yet strangely funny (no wonder this was later made into a Broadway musical). You won't soon forget Mrs. Beale or the singing Edie with her flowing skirts as she practices her dance moves in this deteriorating household. Yes, everything is falling apart yet they remain sane and stick to their fears, their longing to make amends, perhaps, and their desires. They want to escape the past, yet can't help but relive it in their hearts. A truly unique and heartfelt film.

Gobble, Gobble

BLOOD FREAK (1972)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 

Talk about the ridiculous and the sublime! That might be "Plan 9 From
Outer Space," which stands as the most sublime and ridiculous cult
film of all time (though "Glen and Glenda" is the better movie). And then there are the psychotronic movies of the truly absurd variety, which are so stupefying and insanely botched visions that they merit some degree of analysis and context. I see what might have been with 1972's "Blood Freak," but it is such a messy piece of garbage that it is hard to get a handle on it.

A motorcyclist picks up a woman with car trouble. She is Angel (Heather Hughes), a strictly religious, Bible-thumping woman who invites the motorcycle stranger known as Herschell (Steven Hawkes) to a party where drugs make an appearance in the form of cocaine and weed. Herschell says no to drugs and advances from women at the party. Angel's flirtatious, sexed-up sister, Anne (Dana Cullivan) is at the party and she gets the standard preaching from Angel about the dangers of drugs and sex. Herschell seems inclined to believe in Angel, or so we think. Before long, he starts boinking Anne after she gets him to smoke weed at her pool, which he is either cleaning with some pole or it is one big phallic joke! He should've calmed Angel's moods, who wears an extremely short skirt! Who knew female Bible thumpers were so sexy!

"Blood Freak" degenerates even further when Herschell gets a job at a turkey farm and engages in an experiment by two scientists. In exchange for essentially being a human guinea pig, he gets to smoke all the weed he wishes. So what is the experiment? Eat a whole turkey. Wow. And then Herschell gets violent convulsions and literally becomes half-human and half-turkey. Talk about too many drugs - moderation, my brother, moderation.

I like summing up movies like this by illustrating the content of specific scenes. We have the titular man with a turkey head; various shots of turkeys in close-up; women being hung upside down with blood pouring out of their necks thanks to Mr. Turkey Man who has an unhealthy blood lust and kills his victims - some of them are junkies (of course, turkeys are killed the same way); a foot amputated by a table saw; Mr. Turkey Man having sex with Anne in complete darkness (and I do mean complete darkness - only the soundtrack tells us that some boinking is occurring); lots of drug usage; a rape attempt; an actual live turkey that has its head chopped off; and a Narrator (the director himself) chain-smoking and telling us of the moral choices that Herschell makes.

"Blood Freak" is a freak show that is so poorly made, it actually achieves a special charm for my Truly Moronic and Unintentionally Funny Bad Movie List. I was not bored by this movie but I will not likely see it again. I can only handle so many anti-drug, anti-smoking messages wrapped around a turkey's head.

GLADD vs. Cock-Knocker

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK (2001)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
Viewed on September 7th, 2001

Warning: if you are not a fan of "Clerks" or "Chasing Amy," not to mention "Mallrats," then it is very likely that you will find little enjoyment in Kevin Smith's newest film. "Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back" is a delirious joyride for all View Askew fans, taking us from New Jersey to Hollywood and back with many belly laughs and a few lulls along the way. It is mandatory that you are educated in this universe or else, you'll have a joyless time.

To anyone not familiar with View Askew, it is the name of Kevin Smith's production company in Red Bank, N.J. and the universe in which all his characters from his first four films reside in. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) are the two drug dealers who have appeared in all of Smith's films. Usually left on the sidelines, they take center stage this time as they continue selling drugs in front of the Quik Stop convenience store in Leonardo, N.J. Jay and Silent Bob get wind from their old friend, Brodie (Jason Lee), that the comic book based on them, Bluntman and Chronic, is getting made into a Hollywood movie by their other old friend, Banky (also played by Jason Lee). Huh? Okay, if you saw "Chasing Amy," you'll recall that Banky and Holden (Ben Affleck, who reprises his role here) were comic book artists who made their claim to fame with their "Bluntman and Chronic" comic book. In this movie, Banky sold the rights to Miramax studios to make the movie. Jay and Silent Bob are infuriated that they are not getting a piece of the collective pie so they embark on a journey to Hollywood that includes some hot babes dressed in slinky outfits, a wild orangutan, plenty of gay and fart jokes to make GLADD blush (which they reportedly have), Carrie Fisher as a nun, George Carlin as a hitchhiker, clumsy federal marshals, Internet bashing, and more in-jokes (many associated with "Star Wars") than almost any movie I have ever seen.

"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" has quite a few good laughs but there are also far too many lulls. The scenario involving a federal wildlife marshal simply marks time (including an unfunny cameo by Judd Nelson). Plus, those slinky-outfitted babes (which includes a vivacious Shannon Hamilton) exude more groans than smiles, aping the recent remake of "Charlie's Angels." Best bits involve the Quik stop employees, Randal and Dante from "Clerks" (played by Jeff Anderson and Brian O'Halloran), who call the police in to arrest the likable drug dealers. I also liked Ben Affleck as Holden and as himself, not to mention Matt Damon as himself, as they trade asides on each other's careers and mocking their joint effort, "Good Will Hunting." There is also Mark Hamill as Cock-Knocker, which has to be seen to be believed, Wes Craven making another "Scream" sequel, and Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek as themselves portraying Bluntman and Chronic in the movie version. You can also count on several other cameos by other characters from Smith's View Askew universe.

The stars of this show are Jay and Silent Bob and they are often hysterical to watch. Jason Mewes in particular steals the show as Jay with his sexual body language and obscene comments having to do with one particular area of the female anatomy. Kevin Smith as Silent Bob merely makes disapproving looks and gestures and too much of this can go a long way. Still, they make a fitting pair, as always, and drive the movie forward with more scatalogical jokes than one can count in this jaded day and age of sexually promiscuous teen movies.

"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" is fitfully funny and often clever enough for those not easily offended by gay and fart jokes (count me in the mix). It is not half as good as "Clerks" or as hackneyed as "Mallrats" or "Dogma," but it does fall somewhere in between.

Eat, Drink, Men, Women

CARNAGE (2011)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

A French play that takes place inside of an apartment for 80 minutes? Most film directors might be inclined to open up the proscenium of a play by introducing the outside world. Not Roman Polanski who has managed to make a brisk, funny, darkly comic movie out of something almost mundane on the surface.

Penelope and Michael Longstreet (Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly) are the parents of a child, Zachary, that was struck in the mouth with a stick by his friend. We see this event transpire in the opening sequence and are startled by the abrupt violence, but we also see how it is almost a childlike moment of two kids who just don't know better (the scene is silent with music layed in so that we don't know if Zachary provoked his friend or not). The Longstreets invite Zachary's friend's parents, the Cowans (played by Christoph Waltz and Kate Winslet), to discuss the matter. What follows is their conversations that extend beyond the kids and more on their distinctive personalities. Mr. Cowan is an attorney who is beset by one cell phone call after another and cannot be bothered by this incident. Mrs. Cowan is upset by the incident, her husband's lack of manners and hopes for some sort of truce, but her true colors are revealed when she drinks alcohol. The Longstreets want to make nice with "pleasant serenity" by making cobbler with apples and pears (I'd like to try that), espresso and a vase of tulips. Michael sells kitchen items whereas Penelope is a writer, works part-time in a bookstore, and is very politically correct. What could go wrong?

Adapted from Yasmina Reza's comedy play of manners entitled "God of Carnage," "Carnage" is exceptionally well-made and perfectly crafted by Roman Polanski. He is the only director, as proven with his other adaptation of a play "Death of a Maiden" that was also confined to one setting, that can hold the tension inside a room for maximum impact. I do not know how Polanski does it but no shot ever looks the same, from the spacious living room to the bathroom which are the only two rooms where the action takes place (aside from two brief shots of the hallway to the elevator). His framing of the actors also changes brilliantly, particularly where one actor is in the foreground in contrast to someone else in the background. Into the fray of claustrophobia are some of our finest actors, including Jodie Foster whose Penelope character is more shrill and more human than anyone else. John C. Reilly once again proves he is a master of comic subtlety, particularly his shift from a caring, gentle man to a rough loudmouth. Christoph Waltz also excels in dialing it down, and the way he eats cobbler reminded me of the dramatic tension of his eating habits in "Inglorious Basterds." Kate Winslet is the only actor who feels a little off in the translation - too histrionic for my tastes which might have suited the play more than the film.

"Carnage" is lucidly written and directed with an appropriately abrupt finish. The whole film is timed and paced just right, but it is more of a lark for Polanski than the masterstroke of his grandly thrilling "The Ghost Writer." Still, a near-great Polanski film is miles better than no Polanski film.    

Zooey's wintry personality

WINTER PASSING (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

If you are expecting the lively, charming Zooey Deschanel from "Almost Famous" or from her brief turn in "Failure to Launch," you are in for a disappointment. Though it will take a few more films before she becomes a really good actress, her solemn, methodical performance in "Winter Passing" is a future reminder of a fine talent indeed. The film and her performance will remind you of the great Ingmar Bergman, and that isn't faint praise.

Zooey is Reese Holden, a repressed young actress living in New York City. She works as a bartender and does anything she can to, well, feel something. She detaches herself from everything, including sex, drugs, smoking, her cat - everything. Feeling pain seems to be an afterthought - she violently slams her hand in a drawer and there is still no emotion. But things invariably change when a book publisher (Amy Madigan) tells Reese that she inherited some letters - the publisher wishes to publish them. It turns out that Renee is the daughter of a J.D. Salinger-type, Don Holden (Ed Harris) - her own mother had recently passed (Reese chose not to attend the funeral).

Taking the payment up front, Reese travels to Michigan to see her father. Most movies show writers in a sanitized manner. Not Don Holden - he is a stubborn drunk who practically lives in his garage with stacks and stacks of books and papers messily strewn about - he is working on his latest novel which has taken him more than twenty years to write. He is angry at Reese for not attending the funeral, and he is in his own self-imposed cocoon of misery. He does have roomates, though they do not reside in the garage. In the big house, there is Corbit (Will Ferrell), a wannabe musician and devout Christian who occasionally wears eyeliner (!), and Shelley (Amelia Warner), a former student of Holden's. They are the caretakers of the house.

Reese suspects there is an affair between her father and Shelley, who does everything for Holden. She questions Corbit for not coming on to her. Reese also senses she is not loved by her father and tries to pick up the pieces. Can Reese ever feel anything again, or will emotions rise to the surface and cause harm? Who can say because the film doesn't really go down such a familiar route. Reese goes for frequent drives and tries to find solace at a local bar. But will she find solace ever?

Zooey Deschanel as Reese makes us squirm and anxious, as we try to make peace with her. We hope she can find peace but we don't know if she will ever have closure and move on. Her performance is so good that it made me fidgety and uneasy - I really felt as if Reese jumped out of the screen and I was sharing her experiences. That is high praise indeed, so I will retract my original comment at the start and say that Zooey gives not just a good performance but a great one.

Ed Harris's Holden and Will Ferrell's Corbit could easily lend to ridicule or melodrama, but playwright and debuting director Adam Rapp takes their characters seriously enough. In fact, the whole second half of the film could've been a farce of absurd proportions. Thankfully, even Ferrell plays it straight, particularly when displaying karate moves.

"Winter Passing" is like reading a despairing novel during a winter storm. The setting and the performances remind one of Ingmar Bergman, perhaps "Through a Glass Darkly" without any of the religious discussions about the existence of God. There is one scene in "Winter Passing" that may be cringeworthy for animal lovers but it is an essential scene involving Reese, if you put it in the right context. The film is tough to sit through at first but its melancholy and melodic tones can be digested albeit slowly. "Winter Passing" doesn't wallow in despair, only Reese does and eventually we get the impression she'll get over it.

The fatal head shot

INTERVIEW WITH THE ASSASSIN (2002)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 

(Written in 2003)

I first discovered the potential conspiracy in JFK's murder when I viewed (many years ago) "The Man Who Saw Tomorrow," a watchable pseudo-documentary of the prophecies of Nostradamus. They show one shot inside of a bush of what looked like the outline of an assassin. Of course, we know by now that any other assassins might have been behind the fence near the grassy knoll. Then there was Oliver Stone's highly controversial "J.F.K," which looked at all the conspiracy theories and made a tapestry of them as evidence. As of 2003, fastly approaching the 40th anniversary of Kennedy's assassination, we only have more theories and possibilities. I am convinced that Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone, others argue that he did. "Interview With the Assassin" posits that a second gunman may have existed and is ready to convince the world he took out the President with the famous bloody head shot.

Journeyman actor Raymond J. Barry plays Walter Ohlinger, a lonely man who is slowly dying of cancer. He wants to tell the story of an extraordinary crime to Ron Kobeleski (Dylan Haggerty), an unemployed TV cameraman. Walter begins to tell the chilling tale that he is the second gunman behind the grassy knoll that shot Kennedy. Ron disbelieves him at first, but becomes convinced when Walter shows him the shell casing of the bullet. Ron is more convinced when Walter takes him on a plane trip to Dealey Plaza and shows him the exact location behind the fence of the grassy knoll. We also see an X marked on the road where the fatal head shot occurred. But is Walter truly the second gunman, or is he a man seeking attention? On the pursuit for a sickly Marine named John Seymour who will provide proof, we see John laying on the hospital bed unable to move. He calls Walter a sick man who was once institutionalized. Could Seymour be covering up the facts or is it the truth?

"Interview with the Assassin" makes you ponder if such a man would ever give himself up, claiming to be something that would gain a lot of notoriety after 40 years. On the other hand, so many witnesses have been killed or died under mysterious circumstances that there are probably few people alive who could back up such a story. Would Walter be seen as a loon or would he be taken seriously by the media? Who knows. Director Neil Burger (in his directorial debut) certainly holds our interest without ever revealing too much. Like most good films, we have to arrive at our own conclusions in determining Walter's sanity, and thus Ron's as well.

Shot on digital video, which brings verisimilitude to the proceedings (as intended), "Interview with the Assassin" is often realistic and tightly controlled. Even implausible sequences (such as Walter meeting with the current President of the U.S.) are unnerving and nail-biting. The whole film is the equivalent of a docu-thriller, exercising the video medium and exploiting for all it is worth. But what makes the film truly work is Raymond Barry's performance as the detached, hard-nosed Walter. His every move and imposing physicality make us believe that this man could be an assassin, even if he may not have killed Kennedy. He keeps us guessing right until the end. Intensely compelling at a swift 85 minute running time, "Interview with the Assassin" is often believable and frightening. For all JFK conspiracy theorists out there, this film will lend further credibility to their cause. And just who was that second gunman?

A pissin', poopin' punk rocker

HATED (1994)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

For sheer exploitation and uneven shock value, "Hated" is one shockumentary to end all shockumentaries. It is beyond shock value, it is a repellent, disgusting foray into the life of a man who remains as enigmatic as Oskar Schindler.

G.G. Allin, who died in 1993 of a drug overdose, was not just any punk rock musician - he took the limits of a live performance beyond what almost any musician would ever dare or attempt on stage. G.G. would relieve himself on stage, eat his own feces, pummel his forehead with a microphone, insert bananas in his ass, batter and provoke the audience members, and in general cause havoc and sometimes actual riots (he also managed to sing some of his own songs during his violent outbursts). He would often be arrested for his obscene behavior at every performance, thus allowing him to state that the country is trying to get rid of good old rock n'roll.

G.G. explains his reasons for such extreme behavior, albeit rather ambiguous reasons. G.G. claims he is trying to bring back the danger in rock and roll. But is this not punk rock music? And since when does bodily fluids and punching your fans in the face constitute as anything more than sheer stupidity? And you thought Sid Vicious went too far! Is it no wonder that G.G. was arrested?

"Hated" has a few interviews with the people in G.G.'s life, including G.G.'s brother (who seems saner and is a member of the Murder Junkies band), his pals from high school, schoolteachers, former band members repulsed by his behavior, and a major fan who read about G.G's high-wire antics in an ad and said, "Yeah, this is cool. That is punk rock."

"Hated" succeeds in being shocking but there is relatively scant insight into the man. As a band member states, "Society has no place for G.G." If that is so, then how does G.G. feel about himself? He hates everybody but does he hate himself? Does someone have to hate themselves to perform outrageous acts of indecency? And what exactly does G.G. think he is accomplishing on stage? Is his feeling of a sick society reflected in the fact that he can punch one of his fans in the face and they keep coming back for more by standing up and cheering him on? Perhaps, but what is so rebellious about taking a dump and then eating it? Divine got there first in 1972 on celluloid, but so what? That we are all animals? I would have liked to have seen G.G. talk about his performance strategy and what he is trying to convey, if anything, through his music. All I understood was that G.G. was the ultimate shock rebel and likes to roam from city to city with a paper bag and the same pair of clothes, but like all artists whose sole intent is to shock, what is G.G. rebelling against? His only intent seems to be to provoke people, angering them and turning them against themselves. There is a segment showing an early performance where he provokes a woman and ends up hitting her.

Directed by Todd Phillips (who went on to make gross-out comedies like "The Hangover"), "Hated" is often compelling but it succeeds more as pure shock value than as an insightful, illuminating portrait of a madman on and off the stage.

Kevin is a MeanFella

HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK (1992)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Home Alone 2" is something of an anomaly - a highly contrived, sickeningly (and cartoonishly) violent sequel that has little of the charm of the box-office original. That in and of itself isn't anomalous - but the fact is some things do work in this sequel. It does have some laughs (and repeats certain gags from the original) but it is so dour and overcooked that it leaves one with a bad taste. That's the anomaly.

There is nothing that separates "Home Alone 2" from the original, including the change of setting. The problem is he is not home alone anymore, he is just simply lost in New York. Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) is the little tyke who is separated from his parents (John Heard, Catherine O'Hara) at the airport. The family is headed to Florida for Christmas yet Kevin inadvertently ends up on a flight to New York (I suppose such a contrived idea wouldn't work in this post-9/11 environment). So, for even more contrived reasons, Kevin encounters the two bumbling crooks from the original again (Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern) and foils each of their attempts to snatch him with elaborate, Rube Goldberg contraptions that no eight-year-old kid could ever devise.

Kevin stays at the Plaza Hotel and meets Donald Trump; a kind toy shop owner; a homeless woman known as the Pigeon Lady (Brenda Fricker); and a suspicious hotel clerk (Tim Curry). And as for getting lost in New York, well, Kevin seems to know his way around the Plaza Hotel, Carnegie Hall and Rockefeller Center since those are the only major New York locations we see in the entire film.

I first saw this film in 1992, and thought it was mildly entertaining but something nagged me about it. I realized after the screening that I did not feel comfortable watching it. When I saw it again, I knew it was the heavy cartoonish violence that turned me off. For a movie that promotes the goodwill of mankind around the holiday season, there is an awful lot of violence that will make you cringe. Kevin gives advice to the Pigeon Lady about the meaning of life, and then he throws a brick from the top of an apartment building and hits Daniel Stern on the head. Not once, not twice, but at least a few times. The movie gets off on excessive violence that surpasses the original and tries to sell you a Christmas homily as a catharsis - it is a convenient way for families who see this movie to make them forget Kevin's sadistic side. I don't know about you but I don't want to know what Kevin will be like when he enters his teen years.

AHHHHHH!

HOME ALONE (1990)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 

(Review originally written in 2001) 

I still don't get how "Home Alone" became one of the biggest moneymakers in box-office history. That
little tyke, Kevin (Macaulay Culkin), somehow touched a nerve with the American public and with his
less-than-frustrating attempts to booby trap two thieves while stuck home alone. The movie never
appealed to me but it is still a harmless kid's movie where the kids champion over the adults - a theme
that Culkin repeated too many times before escaping into oblivion.

As the movie opens, we are introduced to Kevin who is obnoxious and wishes his family would disappear. It is Christmas time and hardly the appropriate thing to say to your mother (played by Catherine O'Hara). She tells Kevin to go the attic and sleep there. Meanwhile, the whole family sleep away downstairs, ready for their plane trip the next day to Paris. The next morning, they leave in vans sans Kevin who has overslept. Kevin awakens, walks around the house looking for his family and then delights in that his wish came true. He eats junk food like there is no tomorrow, watches television all day, orders pizza, goes grocery shopping, and so on. But trouble threatens this paradise as he discovers that two burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) are ready to steal valuables from his house. So Kevin actually manages to outwit and outmaneuver the burglars using enough booby traps to make Indiana Jones sweat.

"Home Alone" is directed by Chris Columbus and written by John Hughes, and one senses that the movie is a curiously uneasy mixture of family homilies and cartoonish violence. The movie wants to sell the idea that families do matter and Kevin learns this lesson from a mysterious neighbor who is named the "Snow Shovel Murderer" by the neighborhood kids. All of this is as thematically rich as a Lifetime movie but Hughes spends the second half of the film glorifying in some heavy violence, including the use of flame retardants on people's heads, nails used as weapons, refrigerators flung like box cartons, people falling and landing with Dolby-ized thuds, and so many examples of torture that I began to wonder what children are supposed to feel when they watch all this. Should they cheer Kevin on or should they feel repulsed by his actions? Of course, in the real world, Kevin would likely call the cops or 911 as most kids are trained to when confronted with danger in their own home. The world of this movie is a cartoon where an 8-year-old is omnipotent and can perform improbable stunts that would make Wilie E. Coyote blush.

I am not snickering at the movie because it is enjoyable enough overall and Culkin does wonders with his character of the all-powerful Kevin who cannot be outwitted. I also enjoyed Catherine O'Hara as the worrisome mother who flies back to Chicago and encounters a polka band leader (played by the late John Candy). Pesci and Stern make a great comic team and have some frighteningly funny moments. I am just not sure about Hughes's intentions with "Home Alone" when selling the idea of a unified, picture postcard family crossed with over-the-top violence. Think about it.

Dracula and Frankenstein's Monster at the beach

DRACULA V.S FRANKENSTEIN (1971)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 

I have seen my share of absolute garbage at the cinema and on video but never have I been privy to such an absolute waste of celluloid as Al Adamson's "Dracula v.s. Frankenstein." It is the kind of film that makes Ed Wood look like Orson Welles.

And now that we are on to the subject of Welles, how would he have felt if he had seen this? Well, consider that one of the directors of photography of this tripe is none other than Gary Graver, who had worked closely with Welles from 1970 till the late master's death. The other cinematographer is Paul Glickman who later lensed films such as "God Told Me To" and "The Stuff." I am not sure whose fault it is but almost all of the photography is rendered so darkly that it is hard to make out what is happening (especially the climactic fight between the two horror titans). Some other scenes are so haphazardly composed that you sense a group of film school students shot it. I suppose it is more proof that Welles was behind the compositions and photography of his later work such as "F For Fake" as much as Graver was.

The story behind this time waster is more entertaining than the movie itself. The late director Adamson had no clue what footage he shot, and spent two years trying to assemble it and make some sense out of it. Originally titled "Blood Seekers" or "Blood Freaks," it did not even have the two titled monsters at all until the last minute. They probably thought, hey, let's title it "Dracula vs. Frankenstein" and we are guaranteed box-office revenues at the local drive-in.

There is J. Carroll Naish as a wheelchaired Dr. Durea, also known as the last of the Frankensteins. Poor Lon Chaney Jr., in his last film appearance, is bloated and obviously drunk (or seriously ill) as Groton, Durea's punch-drunk, idiotic assistant who goes around decapitating young women at Venice Beach (under Durea's control of course). Zandor Vorkov is the bearded Count Dracula who looks likes a frequent guest at Chiller Theatre - he is seeking a blood serum that Durea has. Oh, how can we forget Frankenstein's Monster (John Bloom) who is brought back to life for no discernible reason or purpose within the sloppily patched together story. There is also the late Regina Carrol (Al Adamson's wife) as a Vegas showgirl searching for her sister who was last seen at the beach! Oh, and there is a love interest known as Mike (Anthony Eisley) who has the hots for Carrol and appears to be an aging hippie! And how about Russ Tamblyn as a rough biker (you must be joking!) Another biker with a swastika patch (quite common in those days)! Angelo Rossitto (memorable in Tod Browning's "Freaks") as a ticket-taker who charges one dollar for admission at a creature emporium and then eats the bill! And, last but not least, Forrest J. Ackerman as a Dr. Beaumont who appears in a cameo and is then killed by the Monster, again for no discernible reason.

"Dracula vs. Frankenstein" might have seemed like good fun at the drive-ins in the early 70's for the teenage couples. I am sure it was more fun for them while making out than watching such garbage transpire before their very eyes.

A Housing Crisis in Figgis Land

COLD CREEK MANOR (2003)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 

"Cold Creek Manor" has an impressive cast and director. Mike Figgis, the gifted
stylistic poet of jazzy atmospheres where downtrodden people reside, directs
one of his first major Hollywood productions in almost a decade. The cast
includes Dennis Quaid, Sharon Stone, Juliette Lewis and the lecherous Stephen
Dorff. Impressive, indeed, at least on paper. 

I think that if a director is going to do a mainstream flick in the thriller genre, he ought to know a few minor details. One is that atmosphere can only account for so much, especially seedy bars (a Figgis staple). Another is that when snakes are placed strategically inside a manor, the actors should know how to react without making the audience giggle. Also keep in mind that if you have a man who has no scruples or morals, he can still seem like a man if you bring some level of humanity - shedding tears on occasion will not mean much if he is nothing less than a remorseless killer spouting obligatory one-liners in the final reel. When the best performance in the film is a drunk Juliette Lewis who seems to have drifted in from Figgis's own "Leaving Las Vegas," then you know that either a.) you cast the wrong actors as the family to root for, or b.) Figgis has no business making mediocre thrillers like this. Lastly, remember that a suspense thriller, even on a psychological level, should have some degree of suspense. A crazily melodramatic piano and strings score won't cut it when it makes you laugh.A dead horse in a pool can only manage a mild shock.

Everything that happens in "Cold Creek Manor" occurs at the screenplay's convenience. Watching Sharon Stone getting pushed around by Juliette Lewis stretches credibility. A bedridden Christopher Plummer can work wonders, but never share the same scene with Mr. Dorff. And watching Mr. Dorff punch Juliette in the mouth while she insists to her sister, a sheriff, that it was accidental is really stretching the reality barrier. I know these things happen, but in a bar where there are many witnesses? Call it denial and, in Hollywood's case, a denial of reality. Besides, that dusty old manor just doesn't make me jump.