Joaquin Phoenix's froggy brains

I'M STILL HERE (2010)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Joaquin Phoenix is still around. Thankfully, his hip-hop music career is not. The joke is clear from the first minute Phoenix is seen walking around in a hoodie outside of his home, contemplating his existence as an actor who has to commit to other people's visions, and not his own. Say what? That is where the joke begins because if he really believed that, he would not attend a Paul Newman tribute where he performs in some vignettes with other fellow actors. It is at this event where Phoenix tells a reporter that he is retiring from acting. The fact that Joaquin doesn't consult his agent or publicist before making such a dreadful mistake will remind some of Johnny Carson's swift, abrupt announcement about his retirement from "The Tonight Show."

"I'm Still Here" is a pathetic, lumbering, creepily funny film - I was in on the joke from the beginning. The beauty of the film is that it does, to a certain extent, take itself seriously enough to actually believe that Joaquin is going through a mental breakdown. He grows a beard, sports an unkempt appearance with barely washed hair, and decides to forge a hip-hop career as a singer with the supposed blessing and studio time from P. Diddy. Ugh! The lyrics are actually not a waste of time (especially when he comments on his personal assistant and long-time friend betraying him by revealing that Joaquin's new phase is a hoax) but, as a singer, he is horrible and has no rhythm. The assumption of the film is that it is Joaquin and he can do what he wants.

This mockumentary directed by Casey Affleck (Joaquin's brother-in-law; Casey is married to Summer Phoenix) is suffocating when it hovers over Joaquin's coke-sniffing, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed, sex-starved escapades (Are these scenes all made up or another joke on celebrities going thru extreme behaviors and addictions?) The film shines when Joaquin tries to convince others that his music is vital, which of course it is not. And most beguiling and darkly funny is when Joaquin sings one of his songs at a show in Vegas while being berated by someone in the audience. Joaquin reacts, jumps off stage and throws a few punches. There is something unsettling and powerfully comical about his appearance on David Letterman's show (one of Letterman's writers claimed that the late-night host was in on the hoax). I also loved the last, long take sequence where Joaquin treads through a river, as if trying to find some solace. Or is this a new Joaquin who dunks his head in the water and may later re-emerge in a new incarnation?

"I'm Still Here" is highly uneven and poorly made (perhaps purposely so) but it is edited as a near-hallucinatory take on a man who is only pretending to be suffering a crisis of conscience. Maybe he thinks this experiment into faux humiliation is art. It isn't (it has been done to death) but it is fascinating watching him try.

Albert Brooks has not lost his edge

THE MUSE (1999)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(Original review from 1999)

The cinema of the 1990's will be remembered for two things: Quentin Tarantino's revolutionary "Pulp Fiction" and its slew of rip-offs, and the spate of films about filmmaking. It is no surprise that since "The Player," we have become bombarded by several films about making films in many different avenues. We have seen low-budget independent filmmakers ("Living in Oblivion"), filmmaking-on-the-fringes ("My Life's In Turnaround"), bad low-budget filmmakers ("Ed Wood"), porno filmmaking ("Boogie Nights"), Hollywood filmmaking ("The Player"), mob-financed filmmaking ("Get Shorty"), low-level Hollywood filmmaking ("Bowfinger"), and so on. I greeted Albert Brooks' latest film "The Muse" with delight because of its stellar cast and because of the cynical edge of Brooks. I am happy to report that "The Muse" is among his funniest, lightest works, always tinging with delectable wit from start to finish.

Albert Brooks stars as Steven Philips, a comedy screenwriter desperate to sell his latest script after winning a humanitarian award ("It's an award you win when you don't win an Oscar."). The next day, he is anxious and meets with a stiff, humorless studio exceutive, Josh Martin (Mark Feuerstein), and is told none too subtly he's out of a job. "You've lost your edge. Take a vacation," says Martin. Steven is torn since writing for films is his life, and realizes his office will be occupied by Brian De Palma. He tries to get an idea that could reestablish him in the realm of Hollywood, as well as a steady income to help support his wife (Andie McDowell), an ambitious baker, and his two kids.

Steven finds a surprise in the form of a woman in glittery blue dresses named Sara (Sharon Stone) - she is introduced by Steve's friend Jack (Jeff Bridges), a writer. Sarah turns out be the resident Muse of La-La Land - "I...inspire!" declares Sara. Steven is faced with a barrage of responsibilities to keep Sara as his Muse. He has to rent a luxurious room at the Four Seasons Hotel for her, provide round-the-clock food and car service for her immediate needs such as a "Waldorf salad," and he must always bring a boxed trinket from Tiffany's to her. And this is all for her to provide inspiration for the struggling writer. I question a comedy writer coming up with a half-baked idea like an aquarium run by Jim Carrey, but that is of little consequence.

"The Muse" coasts along Brooks's typically cynical, neurotic edge, Sharon Stone's comic sparkle, and the relentless number of inside jokes that will tickle people from Hollywood and movie trivia buffs. There are humorous cameos by film luminaries such as James Cameron, Rob Reiner, Martin Scorsese, Jennifer Tilly, Cybill Sheperd, Lorenzo Lamas, and several others. I enjoyed Scorsese's frenetic moment when he announces he's making a remake of "Raging Bull" with a thin, angry guy. Jennifer Tilly's bit is especially cute when Brooks refers to her as a "doll like Chucky." Tilly was of course in "Bride of Chucky."

The biggest, most sensational surprise is Sharon Stone, who I always believed had a gift for comedy but was never allowed to utilize it. Outside of her small comic parts in "He Said, She Said" and "Diary of a Hitman," this marks the first time that she is allowed to sparkle in a bigger supporting role based on her ability to deliver a bouncy charm. She sports a hairdo with bobbypins, wears long blue "New Wave"-style flowing dresses, and makes do like a spoiled brat who needs to be pampered. Of course, this Muse is not all she's cracked up to be.

Brooks has great fun lampooning Hollywood and its obsessive nature towards making big bucks on big ideas. The difference is that in an era where gross humor of the "Austin Powers" variety reigns supreme, audiences are not likely to be susceptible to Brooks's low-key charm and natural evolution of character progression, or in this case, aggression. He takes his time, and still has not learned how to end a film with a major bang. Here it ends all too abruptly, as it did in "Real Life," Brooks's first film. But that is a minor carp.

I am still not clear of Brooks's point - a muse inspires a writer to choose the muse within him or herself? Can't he seek that same inspiration from his close friends or family? Unless we are led to believe that writers don't have friends in Hollywood when they are considered washed-up and edgeless.

Despite a few flaws, "The Muse" is amusing and has some showstopping laughs and one-liners along the way. Brooks is a master builder of comic setup and payoff - he knows that the art of comedy is allowing the audience to experience the buildup before the punchline, and boy, the punchlines are smartly written and pungent. Too many comedies rely on gross humor and repetitive gags left and right with no rhyme or reason. Not Brooks, and he has not lost his edge.

Monstropolis is only a closet doorknob away

MONSTERS, INC. (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Original review from 2001

I used to love animated films. "Fantasia" is still my favorite, mostly because of the psychedelic combination of classical music and images. Since then, I have not seen anything nearly as good. "Beauty and the Beast" and the "Toy Story" films come to mind, not to mention the vastly underrated "The Iron Giant." Lesser entries would include "Pocahontas" and "Aladdin" (lesser meaning not bad, just that they could have been better). "Monsters, Inc." is from Pixar Productions, the same folks who put out "Toy Story," and I can safely say it is as entertaining and colorful as I had imagined it.

The movie has the postmodernist feel that monsters that scare kids from inside closets are actually from a unique world known as Monstropolis. It is basically a factory line warehouse where closet doors from all around Earth are used by monsters where they have access to the kids's bedrooms and are prepared to frighten kids out of their minds. The aim is to make the kids scream, and the louder the scream, the more bonus points that a monster gets. The screams of children are used to keep Monstropolis alive, though lately these monsters have been slipping. Some scare more than others, including James P. Sullivan (voiced by John Goodman), a likable, blue-furried monster with the loudest roar. His pal is a one-eyed, green monster named Mike Wazowski (voiced by Billy Crystal), who mostly supervises Sullivan. One night, Sullivan happens upon a door where a human girl escapes from. He is scared but grows enamored of the giggling girl he names "Boo." Nice touch.

Unfortunately, human kids are a danger to monster society, and a decontamination team is always deployed to get rid of the kids or any of the kid's belongings like socks that could slip out and attach themselves to monsters. Sullivan and Wazowski try to hide the child from their peers, especially an evil, slithering creature named Randall Boggs (voiced by Steve Buscemi) who makes expert use of his camouflage abilities. Randall is jealous of Sullivan, who always scores highest on the monster scream-o-meter, and concocts a plot to kidnap the little girl.

It is questionable how this factory even exists in the first place, and where do those doors come from really? Where is Monstropolis in relation to Earth itself and how did the monsters acquire these doors? But those are logical questions that have no place in a film designed squarely to please the kids, complete with in-jokes and humorous asides to please the adults. And how is the animation? As superb as one can imagine and as detailed as anything I have ever seen before. But like the flat "Dinosaur" from a year ago, the movie lags a bit and lacks the creative sense of magic and fun of "Toy Story." It is not as playful as it should be, perhaps a bit too contained for its own good and doesn't have much narrative thrust - it depends more on witticisms and eye-popping special effects than any real plot.

In terms of animation, I wanted the film to break free of characters standing in rooms or hallways. Animation often works best when it is roaming free of space and time. Only at the very end do we get that sense of playfulness when Sullivan and Wazowski try to rescue the child while hanging onto the closet doors, which are all connected to steel beams.

"Monsters, Inc." is delightful for three-quarters of the way through of its 98-minute running time. It is fun, funny, fast-paced for the most part, and charming. Before the film started, they showed a preview of a Peter Pan sequel featuring the old Disney animated style that was always wondrous and magical to me. I suppose I just miss the old style.

1-800-I-Need-a-New-Satellite-Dish

TERRORVISION (1986)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

I love wacky horror parodies that pull no punches and carry an unbridled spirit. "Terrorvision" is a cute little cartoonish horror parody that does just that, but falls so short of exploiting a neat premise.

An ugly looking monster from outer space metamorphosizes into an electrical signal that beams its way into Stanley Putterman's cheap satellite dish. Stanley (Gerrit Graham) loves his new satellite dish that captures TV signals from around the world. His wife, Raquel (Mary Woronov, who was the memorable Miss Togar from "Rock 'n Roll High School") is annoyed when there is interference in the signal while she does her workout. Her daughter with pouffed-up candy-colored hair (Diane Franklin) is doubly annoyed when her MTV is interrupted. While Stanley and Raquel go out to find a couple to swing with, their youngest son (Chad Allen) and his crotchety, survivalist-obsessed grandfather (Bert Remsen) watch monster movies, which the eldest believes prepares people for invasion of any kind. Naturally the alien beast is lurking in their satellite dish.

What we get is a slimy alien with oozing fluids and a protruding wandering eye (looks like the same eye from "Star Wars"); a steamy swimming pool; grandpa's secret bunker, and a hilarious Jonathan Gries ("Real Genius") as O.D., the heavy metal rocker who clearly anticipates the future Bill and Ted. Most of the actors and plot elements already had me at a definite hello. Unfortunately, there is not much ingenuity or any real laughs to be found. The film runs out of gas, marking time when it focuses on the kids trying to make friends with the alien and give it junk food to consume. Grandpa exits far too soon from the picture and most of the life is drained away by terminally cumbersome characters like Medusa (Jennifer Richards), the horror hostess. The Stanley and Raquel characters are also entertaining (and it is not often that you find a swinging married couple in a movie) but their appearances are far too brief.

"Terrorvision" begins with a solid cartoonish bang (complete with wacky special-effects and obvious planet models that lend the film some charm) and it has a clever premise, but it never expands the personalities of its characters nor does it have much fun with them. Change the channel or, better yet, get a better satellite dish.   

Non-Fact-Checker, propagandistic=Michael Moore

FAHRENHYPE 9/11 (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

After all the hoopla over Michael Moore's biased, propagandistic documentary, "Fahrenheit 9/11," the detractors came out to attack him, but not in full force. The worst claim Moore made in his film was that Iraq was never a threat to America (the Gulf War is a good example of such an erroneous claim). There was also the glaring omission that a certain pipeline was shut down in Afghanistan in 1998, though the U.S. and the Arabs were making oil profits from it. There is also the darling newspaper clipping that supposedly had a headline that read: "Al Gore won in Florida" (it was actually a letter to the editor). Unfortunately, the criticisms were mild compared to the fueling outrage that a Flint, Michigan man wearing a baseball cap had no business making documentaries in the first place (or maybe it was that Oscar acceptance speech that really riled everybody up). One of the most astute attacks came from writer Christopher Hitchens on the canceled show "Crossfire" - he called Moore nothing worse than a liar and someone who likes to stir the pot of the masses without doing any fact-checking. It is a segment like that should have ended up in this film but "Fahrenhype 9/11" lacks any major charge, and leaves no sting at all.

Most of "Fahrenhype 9/11" focuses on Michael Moore's claims and tries to debunk a few of them, though a substantial portion focuses on the war on terrorism post-9/11. Using interview footage of former New York mayor Ed Koch, actor Ron Silver ("What? He's Republican!") serving as narrator, and the witty repartee of Ann Coulter hardly persuade us of Moore's erroneous filmmaking habits. They expunge all outrage at the filmmaker, focusing on minor details that wouldn't bother a nine-year-old (although Moore's comment that terrorism is not problematic in America, as we are led to believe, brings out much needed fuel for the right-wingers).

There are choice moments involving a Marine, Sgt. Peter Damon, who felt his comments on the war in Moore's film were taken out of context; the Oregon state trooper who's dismayed he even appeared in a Michael Moore film; the school principal who felt that Bush acted "presidential" after sitting with the kids for seven minutes in the classroom, despite learning that America was under attack; and there are the Marines who feel that the fight for freedom in Iraq gives Moore justification to be critical. More footage of these concrete interviews would have helped the filmmakers' cause in debunking Michael Moore and his box-office documentary hit. A definition on what they think a documentary should be would've been beneficial. Hearing Ron Silver call the greatest propaganda film of all time, "Triumph of the Will," a masterpiece in comparison to Moore's film, which doesn't try to approximate the same level of propaganda, is to forget what the purpose of one film had over the other. Leni Riefenstahl's "Triumph of the Will" was designed as a promotional Nazi party film, and it was too damn good. Some saw it as a brilliant film that helped a cause that resulted in the worst genocide of the 20th century. "Fahrenheit 9/11" was designed to unseat the President, pure and simple, and it failed.

And that is what director Alan Peterson and writer Dick Morris never acknowledge - Moore hates Bush and his policies and wanted to be sure Dubya wouldn't be re-elected - a propagandist often embellishes the truth to attain a grand political goal. Heck, isn't that why "Fahrenheit 9/11" did well at the box-office? Didn't the majority of the country feel they were lied to by our current administration? And didn't Bush and his cronies embellish the truth about the war? Moore tapped into the national consciousness, for better or worse. Wishful thinking, I suppose. The most outrageous charges these talking heads evoke are that Bush sat in his chair for five minutes, not seven, and that former Presidents Clinton and Carter did little to counterattack terrorism - they were buddies with the Arabs just like Bush Jr. and Sr. are. Oh, and don't forget: 860 billion dollars is not the equivalent of 7-8 percent of our economy. If "Fahrenhype 9/11" is the best case for defending the Republicans, President Bush and the ongoing war, then Michael Moore is not likely to go away.

Interview with Robin Johnson: Born That Way

AN INTERVIEW WITH 'REBELLIOUS' ROBIN JOHNSON:

 BORN THAT WAY 
By Jerry Saravia

Robin Johnson as Nicky Marotta in 1980's "Times Square"

Robin Johnson is one of those actresses who slipped under the Hollywood radar. Her quixotic debut turn in Allan Moyle's "Times Square" is possibly the iconic role of her career - the rebellious, husky-voiced Brooklyn girl, Nicky Marotta, who performs a rousing rock number at the top of a marquee of a Times Square theatre during the climax of the film. It is her performance that gives the movie an injection of soul and purpose, along with the casting of Trini Alvarado as her best friend, and undoubtedly most will recall Robin Johnson as one of the standout, underrated performances of the 1980's in a criminally underrated film that has since gained a cult status. Such a strong impression lead to a recurring character as Darcy Dekker in "Guiding Light," a cameo in Scorsese's "After Hours," TV's "Miami Vice," a small bit in John Sayles' "Baby, It's You," "Splitz" (1984) where she played the member of an all-girl rock band called the Splitz, and some theatre work. Though she remains private about her current life and whereabouts, she was gracious and kind enough (with a quirky sense of humor) to agree to do this interview. 

Jerry: Thanks for your time and thank you for agreeing to do this interview. I can't tell you how happy I am to be interviewing the girl from Times Square, a film I consider a minor masterpiece.

Robin Johnson: Thank you for asking for the interview.  The “girl” from Times Square is now 49.  I am intrigued that you consider the film a “minor masterpiece.”  I think you should interview Allan Moyle or the co-writer Leanne Ungar, if she’s still around.  They are the ones that are probably responsible for the “masterpiece” part of it.

1) Tell me the story of how you were discovered for Times Square.  I recall on the commentary track of the DVD that you were discovered by a casting scout on the streets named Michael, and you still have no idea who this person is since nobody connected to the production knew of him?

RJ: Seriously?  Are these questions from an ancient press packet?  Don’t take offense but anyone really interested in me or my story of “discovery” knows this story in their sleep.  Or they might get the DVD where I’m sure I talked about this ad infinitum. 

I was cutting class – cutting up – and yes I have never seen or heard from this man after the one meeting and as far as I know – no one knew of him.  Perhaps he was a figment of my imagination.  What is interesting is the idea of a chance meeting such as this – the fantasy or dream of it – yet it was real.  Must have had to happen to me since (referring to question 2) I really was just playing myself and probably would have died young had I not had a chance to channel my self-destruction into a starring movie role. 

2) I have read that your character, Nicky, from "Times Square" is no different than who you were in 1980. Reform school, rebellious, didn't get along with teachers or authority. How much of your personal life ended up in the character of Nicky?

RJ: NONE of my personal life ended up in the movie or the character of Nicky except rebelliousness.  Born that way.  (As a matter of fact I really dig Lady Gaga – and the Clash.  And Bach.  Fatboy Slim.  Aerosmith – Janis Joplin – Coltrane – Pat Metheny – Sheryl Crow – Frank Sinatra – Johnny Cash – Coldplay – Simon & Garfunkel – oh God don’t have enough paper.  I happen to like people who can play their instruments and tell a good story.  Oops – skipped to question 6.  See – rebellious.)

Every actor brings their core to every role they play.  Meryl Streep is elegant at her core.  In Ironweed she has a dignity which cannot be erased even though she is a down-and-out Depression era alcoholic.  She is exceptionally skilled at characters and “the craft” of acting – but, she is still Meryl Streep – elegant at the core.

Robin in TV's "Miami Vice"

Robin in "After Hours"

3) Times Square was your breakout role but you have done very few films since. Tell us about your cameo in After Hours and working with director Martin Scorsese and actor Griffin Dunne. Seems like your brief bit as a punk rocker passing out flyers to a local punk club alludes to Nicky, to some extent.

RJ: I think my cameo in After Hours could have been a favor to one of my agents.  Also I have a face that seems to magically attract lots of make-up and strange hair-do’s.

Robin as Darcy Dekker in "Guiding Light"

4) You are also a part of Guiding Light (playing Darcy Decker) and Miami Vice (as Candy James), two wildly different television shows. Darcy Decker was a tough girl who became a drug counselor, and the other role on Vice was as a poolside prostitute. Why weren't roles more forthcoming since Times Square?  Also, tying in with your role of Darcy in Guiding Light, rumor has it that you were considered for the role of Violet in Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, true?

RJ: I have the same question.  (Not really.)  Why weren’t more roles forthcoming after Times Square?  Because everyone knows what a star-studded acting genius and incredible stunner I am. 

I had an interview with a hoped-for personal manager when I was about 22 or 23.  Actually – it was a pair of managers.  A “creative” guy and the “money” guy.  The creative guy said, “You know, if it was up to me, I would say yes in an instant.  But, my partner, well –”  Enter “money” guy: “Look, we manage Julia Roberts!  Why would we need you?”  My “career” has really been about something other than that – you know?  Que sera, sera.  C’est la vie.  Don’t know any other languages. 

If I was considered for anything in Friday the 13^th Part V or any other Roman numeral – I think it’s too late. 

                                                    Robin in a clip from "Guiding Light" 

5) Aside from being a traffic reporter for KFWB in Los Angeles, CA, you also played the lead role in a play called An Unhappy Woman at the Moving Arts Theatre in Los Angeles in 1997, and you won the LA Weekly award for Best Female Performance. Have you done any other theater since?

RJ: After the LA Weekly award – which I let stay at the theater company (never let it be said that I have to dust my award weekly) – I did some one-acts and was a stagehand.  It was a theater company – you contributed any way you could. 

I will say in all sincerity that Unhappy Woman was probably one of the most satisfying things I have ever experienced as a human and an actor.  I am peculiarly pedestrian.  Say that 10 times fast.

                                            Robin in a clip from "Baby, It's You" (1983)

6) Back in the days of Times Square, you stated that you hate the real punk music from England, such as the Clash. Have you changed your mind since then, and what are your current musical tastes?

RJ: [see question 2]

7.) Finally, for the Robin Johnson fans out there, tell us what you are doing now and your future plans.

RJ: I do not currently pursue acting – and it doesn’t pursue me.

Chevy Chase and Carrie Fisher in a muted Oz comedy

UNDER THE RAINBOW (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Slapstick and screwball comedies are dependent on a consistent rapid-fire tone, or at least having situations that develop at a fast clip. "Under the Rainbow" is a cross between a screwball "It Happened One Night" and a Blake Edwards slapstick comedy. There is a little of everything here, from mistaken identities to clumsy pratfalls to destruction of any semblance of normalcy. Anarchic is one way to describe it, but funny it is not.

Chevy Chase is an American Secret Service agent who is protecting a royal duke (Joseph Maher) and his duchess (Eve Arden) from assassination attempts. All three characters stay at an L.A hotel which happens to be a stone throw away from the MGM studios where "The Wizard of Oz" is going be filmed. Carrie Fisher works for a movie studio and is in charge of all the Munchkin actors who practically tear up the entire hotel by swinging on chandeliers, playing music with kitchen appliances, removing elevator cables, etc. Adam Arkin is the hotel assistant manager who eventually gives up trying to restore order. We also have Mako as a Japanese spy, a Nazi dwarf (Billy Barty) who holds some secret map of Germany, a dwarf from Kansas with dreams of stardom (Cork Hubbert) and there is another assassin with revenge on his mind, and I just about lost count of any other characters that appear.

"Under the Rainbow" is ambitious in content but an unforgivable mess overall - it is overcooked and too busy. Not one character ever sticks out except as a slapstick routine minus pitch, humor, a joke or any remote sense of comic timing. Perhaps picking a director like Steve Rash (who helmed "The Buddy Holly Story") was not the wisest move - this movie desperately needed the anarchic and brilliantly funny staging of Blake Edwards (why he wasn't chosen to make this film instead of those dreadful last couple of Pink Panther sequels I will never know). Chevy Chase is so subdued that he barely exists, and the same holds true of Carrie Fisher (their one kiss scene is romantic though). Billy Barty's monocle-wearing Nazi grows repetitious - one scene lasts more than ten minutes where he runs for an eternity inside that hotel with barely a laugh. If only the movie settled down with the one scenario that works - the crashing of the "Wizard of Oz" and "Gone With the Wind" sets during a car chase where we see Clark Gable! It is the best part of the movie but by then, we really wish we were somewhere else. Munchkinland, perhaps? 

The dead shall rise...and get married

CORPSE BRIDE (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

        Tim Burton's "Corpse Bride" is a return to the stop-motion 

animation of his incredibly inventive film from 1993, "The

Nightmare Before Christmas." Is it as good? Not quite, but

it is no downer either and has enough wit and imagination to

rise above most animated films of late.

Johnny Depp voices the lead character, a worrisome wart

named Victor who's about to get married to Victoria (Emily

Watson), an also highly demure girl. Victoria's parents are

the Everglots, Maudeline and Finnie (Joanna Lumley and

Albert Finney), a couple of dour people who don't like each

other and maintain a house of dour paintings of their ancestors.

The Everglots look forward to this union because Victor's parents,

Nell and William Van Dort (Tracey Ullman and Paul Whitehouse),

are wealthy fishmongers who would lend financial stability and

some status to them in this colorless town. Victor has trouble at

the wedding rehearsal and wonders if this union is something he

really wants. He crosses a bridge into a world where corpses and

skeletons walk about. Before you can say that this is an animated

version of "Night of the Living Dead" crossed with Ray Harryhausen,

Victor mistakenly places his wedding ring in the finger of a female

corpse named Emily (voiced by Helena Bonham Carter)! Worse

yet, he does so while preparing his vows! Now Emily thinks she

is the lucky bride-to-be, fulfilling her dream of walking up the altar.

"Corpse Bride" is not a wicked black comedy nor is it suffused with

any gore gags (though there is a maggot with a Peter Lorre voice).

In fact, it is hardly as wicked as "Nightmare Before Christmas" and

I suppose that is what I miss. Tim Burton has often suffused his own

fairy tales, such as "Edward Scissorhands," with a dark sense of

humor. Burton at his best epitomized the rose with a black cherry

on top that would ooze a trickle of blood. That is not to say that his

films were always nasty or violent but the threat was always there

with ominous atmosphere and ghastly characters. "Nightmare Before

Christmas" had some of that, including a lead character named Jack

Skellington who loved Halloween and dressed up as Santa Claus

giving horrendous contraptions as gifts to kids on Christmas.

"Corpse Bride" is not filled with such humor - it is lighter fare with

a love story as its focus (The same was true with Burton's last picture, "Big Fish").

Don't read this as a negative review. There is much to admire in

"Corpse Bride." The movie occasionally has raucous energy, sometimes

taking it up an extra notch with vivid musical numbers featuring skeletons (though the

songs don't rate as memorably as Oogie Boogie's song or Jack

Skellington's "What's This?" from "Nightmare Before Christmas"). I love

the look of the film, basic Burtonian visuals with the grayish,

black-and-white world of some aristocratic society coupled with bursts of

color in the world of the Land of the Dead (Once again, corpses are

always more colorful than humans). The animation is extraordinary in

every sense of the word. The characters are engaging enough, though

Depp's Victor was somewhat standoffish to me. The soul of the movie is

really poor Emily whose eyeball is always popping out of its socket -

she may be dead but she wants to be loved like everyone else.

"Corpse Bride" is good enough and clever enough, and I smiled through

most of it. The ending is stunningly beautiful and rhapsodic. But the film

lacks the flavor and the sense of dread that we've come to expect from

Burton. Perhaps time has caught up with him and we no longer see the

surprise in watching an animated cadaverous underworld. Such

sanguineless characters deserve more than a pretty little love story.

Severed entrails in listless Ripper tale

FROM HELL (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Jack Ripper is known for being the notorious serial killer of the 19th century who was never caught ("I invented the 20th century"). A slew of films and books have theorized on the identity of the killer, ranging from some unknown peasant to someone connected to the Royal Family. "From Hell," based on the graphic novel of the same name by Alan Moore III, makes the case that someone from the Royal Family might have been the Ripper. Though it is a mystery that is somewhat compelling, it fails miserably to gain our interest.

Set in 1888, "From Hell" stars Johnny Depp as the real-life Inspector George Abberline, a laudanum addict who has visions of the future (in real-life, he was a portly man who looked nothing like Depp). Apparently, some of Abberline's visions involve Jack the Ripper's murderous rampage in the slum area of Whitechapel, located on the East End of London. It is a city that is dark, dank and oozes corruption and menace on every corner. Murder is also a commodity in this town but this Ripper is no ordinary murderer. He kills prostitutes and "removes their livelihood," in rather grisly, gruesome ways. Inspector Abberline is convinced that it is no peasant or poverty-stricken individual - it is an educated man of some esteem and possibly a surgeon due to the dexterous manner in which the victims are butchered.

Abberline notices several details in the murder of these prostitutes. The most telling detail is the roots of grapes left behind, a tactic used by the killer to lure the victim. Also, the knifes used might have been surgical tools. This would mean that a surgeon could be responsible for the murders, considering they took place in the dark where he would instinctively know how to perform his handiwork. One prostitute that might be able to help Abberline in his search is redheaded Mary Kelly (Heather Graham) who was well acquainted with the slain prostitutes. Still, this relationship develops into an unconvincing love story that simply marks time.

Most of "From Hell" is in-your-face with little grace or style. The directors are the Hughes Brothers, responsible for the nightmarish classic "Menace II Society." That film was harsh and offputting but for a justifiable purpose, to place us in the unpredictable chaos of living in a ghetto where a gunshot was as frequent as a car noise. "From Hell" needed some space to breathe and perhaps a degree of elegance to tell such a compelling story. Instead, we have Abberline's dreams which consist of green-tinted, jump-cutted nightmares of cobblestones and blood. The cinematography is so dark and often out-of-focus that it is hard to discern what is happening half the time. The washed-out, desaturated color schemes are becoming a frequent style in films nowadays but here, it smacks of mediocrity. Black-and-white would serve the story better, a Universal Gothic approach a la Tod Browning's "Dracula."

Frankly, the pacing of "From Hell" is laborious and disconnected. I could swear I was almost ready to fall asleep at times, but the film picks up when the focus is on the grisly investigation. That comes in too little and too late. Part of the problem is that Johnny Depp and Heather Graham are so devoid of life and magnetism that they bored me whenever they appeared on screen. At least, the great Ian Holm saves the day with some core of integrity as Sir William Gull, a doctor for the Royal Family. He breathes some life into the story when he shows up. Robbie Coltrane is also a delight as Sergeant Peter Godley who loves to smack Abberline out of his druggy states.

"From Hell" is a rather vivid title for a listless, lifeless film. There is no soul, no fire, no hell. It simply starts and sputters but never feels as unified or as compelling as the real tale. It just feels ripped apart from the truth.

Introduction to Jerry at the Movies

INTRODUCTION TO JERRY SARAVIA AKA JERRY AT THE MOVIES

For those of you interested in finding more about me, check out the video link below. Although it serves as an introduction to my youtube channel, it is also useful for those who have been reading my reviews and perhaps wish to subscribe to my channel where I also review films and lots of other stuff. Thanks for your time and enjoy.

Jazzy Indy travels to Chicago, 1920

YOUNG INDIANA JONES AND THE MYSTERY OF THE BLUES (1993)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 George Lucas's "Young Indiana Jones" TV series was short on action and thrills and long on exposition and story. Lucas's intent was to have a younger Indy involved in historical spectacles and meeting all kinds of historical figures. Lenin was one, Teddy Roosevelt another, and of course Pancho Villa. I was never a huge fan of the show but I admired the attention to historical detail even if it occasionally robbed the series of much action or adventure. Talky is one way to put it since the serialesque attitude of the Indiana Jones movies was clearly missing. There were two-hour "Young Indiana Jones" movies and one of the best was "Mystery of the Blues," aired in March of 1993. Of particular significance in this special was the appearance of the one and only iconic Indiana Jones - Harrison Ford himself.

The Ford aspect is interesting because he sports a salt-and-pepper beard (this is only because of the simultaneous shooting of his thriller masterpiece, "The Fugitive") and his appearance bookends the blues plotline of the show as he recounts the days of Sidney Bechet and Al Capone. Ford is an older Indy, 50 years old to be precise, being chased in Wyoming in 1950 by some bad guys who are wanting a sacred Native American pipe. Indy and a Native American named Grey Cloud (Saginaw Grant) are shown in a car chase that is thrilling in a snow-bound Wyoming with treacherous roads. The chase is not elaborate nor does it contain much in the way of stunts but it gives you goosebumps seeing Ford as Indy with his wit and the gleam in his eye lashed ever so firmly ("Good driving," says Grey Cloud. Indy quips, "Not my first time you know!") Eventually the duo walk during a hazardous blizzard to an empty log cabin.

The rest of the film has Sean Patrick Flanery as the younger Indy working as a busboy at Colosimo's restaurant in Chicago in 1920. Sidney Bechet (Jeffrey Wright, who is amazingly good) plays jazz and Indy thinks he can play too, specifically his soprano sax. The kid needs practice and annoys his roommate, future federal agent Eliot Ness (Frederick Weller). Indy and Eliot are also friends with future author Ernest Hemingway (Jay Underwood), a contrivance that just annoys me. Does every person that Young Indy knows have to be famous or of historical relevance? Nevertheless, "Mystery of the Blues" confronts racism, jazz, Prohibition-era gangsters, a brief discussion of World War I, a floozie or two, a well-choreographed car chase and an equally absurd and improbable finale that wraps everything up a little too neatly.

"Mystery of the Blues" is essentially oodles of fun and you gain a lot of historical value from it but it is overstuffed and little too preachy. Flanery still seems to be uncomfortable with his role and lacks any of the trademarks of the character that Ford would make his own - I just don't see how Flanery could ever grow into the resourceful archaeologist adventurer of the 1930's and beyond. Still, the film is entertaining and a good time for the whole family. One wonders, though, if that opening teaser with Ford could have been expanded into a whole 2-hour adventure of its own and if Lucas had even considered it at some point (he was thinking about aliens at that time and discussing a fourth Indy flick with Ford, who wanted nothing to do with aliens - a fun fact that "Crystal Skull" detractors might love).   

Props fighting props

KRULL (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 

A black fortress from space arrives in the planet Krull and disappears and materializes anywhere it wishes to go. The fortress is operated by some sort of monster. A valiant hero named Colwyn (Ken Marshall), who will someday be king, has to find a star-shaped weapon that can destroy the monster and save the planet. Of course, he has to save his marriage from dissolving since his wedding ceremony was interrupted for reasons unknown by the Slayers, monstrous beings who shoot lasers and seemed to have come from the world of J.R.R. Tolkien. Throw in a cyclops, a magician who keeps notes on how to use his magic, a terrific band of thieves that includes a young Liam Neeson and you got something called a movie.

"Krull" has several problems. For one, the tale is a prophecy as mentioned by the narrator but what exactly is the prophecy? This simple-minded tale is just about a future king who has to vanquish evil from corrupting the planet, but what is the monster's purpose? Why does this monster care about the planet Krull or the damsel in distress? What is it with the all-seeing eye (Tolkien, once again) and the Cyclops who can foretell his own demise? And there is the fascinating sage and the Widow of the Web (complete with a giant crystal spider that the Widow keeps at bay with an hourglass) but much of their story is short-changed for action scenes that never go anywhere or propel the plot forward. Basically, there is not much depth to any sort of mythology and the movie makes up its own rules as it goes along.

"Krull" makes the most unforgivable mistake of any sword-and-sorcery adventure crossed with a dose of sci-fi - it is tiresome and snail-paced. Say what you will about "Star Wars" (which this movie copies along with tropes inspired by "Lord of the Rings") but that series had a mythology that was extensive and clear with exciting action and colorful characters. "Krull" has some characters I wanted to know more about, especially the Cyclops and the magician and the Robin Hood gang of thieves, but they never develop into anything other than props. It is props fighting props without an ounce of imagination.  

Hackman and Romano in tight mayoral race

WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

This may be one of those guilty pleasure movies for me but "Welcome to Mooseport" is an affable, pleasant and thoroughly disarming comedy that works. The critics hated it but I liked it well enough. It is not a political satire nor is it the funniest political comedy. Its charms are simple and small, much like the small town it depicts.

Gene Hackman is the former President of the United States who wants to settle down in the small town of Mooseport. The town welcomes him with great open arms, though the President is not very keen on small town meetings and speeches and wanting to mingle with the innocent townsfolk. Some members of the town council, however, want the President to run for Mayor of Mooseport. His competition is Handy (Ray Romano), a soft-spoken younger man who knows how to fix toilets. Handy is unaware that he is in the mayoral running and drops out until he catches the President eyeing Handy's own girlfriend (thanklessly yet wonderfully played by Maura Tierney). Guess who asks Handy's girlfriend out for dinner? It is then that Handy decides to run for Mayor and it turns out that Handy can solve problems and beat the President in golf like no one's business.

Don't think for a moment that this movie is on the level of Frank Capra with its small-town witticisms and genial citizens. Yes, "Welcome to Mooseport" is too good to be true but I enjoyed the picture for not trying to be a cynical, savagely satirical take on small-town politics. It is simple and pure with a great cast that imbues the film with more nostalgia for a bygone era than sentimentality. Ray Romano is quirky and diverting enough to separate himself from his "Everybody Loves Raymond" character. Gene Hackman is a consummate actor who knows all the tricks to bring his guile President to boisterous life. Ditto Tierney as the tired girlfriend who wants to settle down, Marcia Gay Harden as one of the President's aides who feels the leader of the free world has lost some of his noble virtues, Fred Savage as another aide who tries to stay out of the President's eyeline, and the always engaging Rip Torn as the campaign manager.

"Welcome to Mooseport" is a lively, upbeat comedy that doesn't try too hard to be anything else. I would have liked more debates between Handy and the President and more direct punches at certain targets of humor (the Tiger Woods jokes are not as funny as Clinton's Presidential Library being bigger than Hackman's). Still, we sometimes need movies like this as a much-needed break from reality and cynicism. 

Brickman is lost in translation

LOVESICK (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Marshall Brickman has done some brilliant work in the past. He did of course write the impeccable "Annie Hall" with Woody Allen, but "Lovesick" (which he wrote and directed) is curiously remote and unbelievable for a man who channels the soul and heartbreak in relationships between men and women.

Dr. Saul Benjamin (Dudley Moore) is a New York City analyst who is bored with his regular patients. One talks about a potential sex partner, another about daily, frivolous problems, and one says absolutely nothing. Saul's life is unspectacular. His life seems empty. Even his wife pays him little mind. Another analyst (Wallace Shawn) tells Saul of his longing for a young female patient (an ethical dilemna known as "counter-transference"). Before you know it, the analyst dies of a heart attack, but not before disclosing the name of the patient. Saul is intrigued and happily discovers that this young patient, Chloe (Elizabeth McGovern), is referred to him. She talks about writing plays for a famous actor in the New York Theatre world, and admits she wishes Saul would kiss her. Love is in the air, and now Saul gets romantically involved with Chloe which means she will have to stop being his patient.

For the first half of "Lovesick," Marshall Brickman does an exemplary job of bringing wit and truth to this romantic relationship and never goes for cheap, easy gags. There is comedy but it is nicely restrained, and the romance sparkles with a touch of class and elegance. Both Moore and McGovern make it convincing enough despite being such opposites in age and size. But something happens. The film shifts from an engaging romantic comedy to an off-centered, off-kilter drama about Saul's lack of ethics and good standing in his community for getting involved with Chloe (since she is no longer his patient, why should all the budding analysts care?) Also, Saul's relationship to his wife is handled with a resolution so unbelievable that I got somewhat fed up seeing Brickman go for broke in scenes that should have been handled with more depth.

Brickman is a great writer and director and has proven so post-"Lovesick" with "The Manhattan Project" and his alliance with Woody Allen in "Manhattan Murder Mystery." "Lovesick" aims high on potential and falls low on expected payoffs. A wonderful cast to be sure (it is a hoot to watch Sir Alec Guinness as Sigmund Freud, and Ron Silver as an Al Pacino-like actor), a few genuine laughs, but it fails to measure up to the genuine comic truths Brickman was aiming for.

Darkly comic tale in Central Park

REMEDY (2005)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Shot on a miniscule budget of a little over 100,000, "Remedy" is at times effective and downright silly. Still, considering what often passes for vague entertainment in theaters nowadays, it has its own brand of thrills to keep people from switching off and watching a dreadful reality show.

Christian Maelen (who directed the film) convincingly plays Will, an artist who sells his canvases on the street for pennies. His buddy and coke-sniffing connection, Josh (Nicholas Reiner, the film's screenwriter), needs to borrow money to pay off 15 big ones to Tom (Rick Aiello). Will refuses thanks to his pregnant wife (Candice Coke), who sniffs coke on occasion. Nobody will lend a helping hand to Joshua. One night, while Will is truly coked-up, Josh is murdered with a bullet to the abdomen. Will is the prime suspect and pretty soon the cops are interrogating all of Will's friends, determining who the culprit could be. Is it Tom, the truly abusive drug dealer who is sweetly innocent one second and psychotic the next? The dentist (Jon Doscher) who thinks he's a smoothie with the ladies? The dentist's girlfriend who agrees to a menage a trois as well as having lesbian girlfriend on the side? Or is it Will's wife who hopes he will clean up and move to a French villa?

"Remedy" is a strange amalgam of a police procedural whodunit mixed with the yuppie party scene and a dose of a mystery thriller thrown in for good measure. The police detective scenes are as realistic as they get (thought not as well-shot as TV's "Law and Order"), thanks to the authentic casting of actor Arthur J. Nascarella as Detective Lynch, himself a former New York City cop. I could've lived without a brief laughable chase to a wall facing Central Park yet, on the whole, a fair sense of realism pervades any scene with Nascarella.

The yuppie party scene is depicted in bars and bathrooms where excessive drinking and coke-sniffing occur - are we watching an 80's Bret Easton Ellis adaptation? We also get some lesbian sex scenes and a few shots of a strip club for those who like that sort of thing. And for those who like belly laughs, intentional or otherwise, there is a scene involving the dentist and an older patient that is practically cringe-worthy.

The mystery thriller section of the plot is the most compelling of the entire film, as the last half-hour dovetails into Agatha Christie whodunit mode. The filmmakers call this a "darkly comic tale" and I happen to agree. It is clear the acting is not top-notch and what passes for style is a bunch of close-ups and the most rudimentary, underutilized locations, including bars, apartments, and some outdoor locations. (In fact, whole scenes at a supposed ritzy bar are so tightly shot that it resembles someone's apartment that just happens to have a bar.) But you can't complain when you're dealing with first-timers and limited budgets (Wes Anderson's debut "Bottle Rocket" was just as tightly shot.)

Despite some uneven pacing and editing, "Remedy" has fine support from pros like Nascarella, Frank Vincent as Will's uncle, Vincent Pastore in an atypical role as an art dealer, and even former KISS band member Ace Frehley as an aging, amused drug dealer who's heard it all. And Christian Maelen's mentally tortured junkie, Will, is a like a cross between John Amplas's Martin from Romero's "Martin" and Cillian Murphy from "28 Days Later" - the fragile yuppie junkie who has given up on life. He gives "Remedy" a short injection of heart and soul.