Mild Dukes of Bournemouth

SPLITTING HEIRS (1993)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Despite the occasional dead spots, "Splitting Heirs" is one diverting oddball comedy that flashes by quickly yet it never elicited anything more than the mildest chuckles from me. I recommend the movie for its sheer liveliness and infectious spirit but I am not sure I found it that funny and yet, and yet, I cannot completely dismiss it. 

Eric Idle is a far too polite banker who is unaware he is the heir to Bournemouth royalty (he was left alone as a baby in a restaurant by his father, a British Lord, and there was an accidental switcheroo with another tot). Rick Moranis is the impostor, the other baby, the heir to Bournemouth as the 15th Duke though he is unaware he's an impostor. Add an attractive sexpot of a mother to Moranis (Barbara Hershey though she is the actual mother to Idle), a social-climbing beauty like Catherine Zeta-Jones who wants to be duchess and the "introduction" of John Cleese and you've got the madcap lunacy of a Monty Python comedy. Alas, not so. The various attempts by Idle to kill Moranis will make you smile, but that is all (the helium-filled scuba gear is hilarious though). Many scenes will make you smile, and some will make you groan but there is nothing here that is laugh-out-loud funny. It's got the cast and occasional humorous situations of an anarchic comedy but not the attitude.

Cleese is hysterical every time he appears as an amoral, homicidal lawyer - a bigger role in this mild state of comic affairs would've benefited the proceedings. "Splitting Heirs" is a movie you can't possibly dislike because it is charming and inoffensive. You also can't hate a movie for featuring a car that completely flips over and is carried along by bicycle tires! Yet with such a diverse comic cast of characters, "Splitting Heirs" is only content in being content with itself.

Just the two of us, Mikey and Laurie

HALLOWEEN (2018)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The "Halloween" series has held a certain fascination with me, I suppose, because every harebrained sequel had the potential to transcend its slasher film cliches. It is easy to forget that the original 1978 shocker, "Halloween," was shocking because of its claustrophobic atmosphere that assumed something more supernatural than the surface reality of another horror thriller about a masked killer (this was before slasher was applied to a disreputable genre where slashing teens became the focus). The young high-school students had a cloud of ambition about them - they were not just disposable, bubble-gum brained girls who had nothing but sex and Mary Jane on their minds (though of course that is mostly what they talk about). There was something cheerfully innocent about them, not knowing what horror awaits. That coupled with the obsessed psychiatrist, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance), who sensed dread was on its way with his runaway patient and mute killer himself, Michael Myers, and an ending that still sends shivers down my spine. None of the sequels matched the original in any aspect but I kept hoping. "Halloween," which arrived in 2018 with no Roman Numerals, discards all sequels and is a purposely direct descendant of the original. Unfortunately, despite some of its strengths, it is occasionally a run-of-the-mill sequel.

Silver-haired Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is back, though now she is an embittered woman and survivalist living in a gated house that is more like a death trap. She is awaiting the day that Mikey Myers escapes and comes after her - she wants to kill him for good and ever. Of course, during a transition to another mental institution by bus, Mikey kills everyone and escapes on Halloween night, eager to obtain his famous William Shatner mask and kill, kill, kill. One truly astounding sequence filmed in an unbroken take has Michael entering two different houses where he acquires a hammer and a knife and brutally kills a couple of unsuspecting women. This sequence reminds one of the haunting sense of menace that Michael has - he lurks, hides in the shadows, and pounces when least expected. It is amazing that nobody has captured that sense of evil in so long. There is also a sequence involving a young kid on a lawn as the lights go off and on and Michael slowly approaches his prey.

"Halloween" has a strong opening with an exacting purpose, that is two British journalists with a podcast who want to interview Laurie Strode and find out what Michael Myers tick. Unfortunately, these characters quickly evaporate and we get an elongated, frustratingly dull excursion into Laurie's granddaughter, Allyson (Andi Matichak), and her escapades with a cheating boyfriend at a Halloween rave party - you'll feel you have entered some teenage rom-com for a minute. We also get a silly inclusion of a Dr. Loomis-type psychiatrist, Dr. Sartain (Haluk Bilginer), who is a little too taken with Michael. On a positive note there is the vivid presence of Will Patton as a frustrated police officer who's on screen for what regrettably amounts to nothing more than a cameo. What I imagine a lot of fans expected, myself included, was the solid return of Laurie Strode and her revenge for what Mikey did to her friends 40 years earlier. Jamie Lee Curtis has such a remarkable turn as Laurie, full of pathos and nuanced with grief over the years she prepared herself and her family for the inevitable (Judy Greer is given short-shrift as her daughter), and yet she is confined to only a few select scenes. What we mostly get are anonymous teens who are set up for a slaughterhouse and, sure, all they care about is sex and some Mary Jane but the characters are more bloodless than animated. Putting it simply, there are no P.J. Soles personalities on hand here - the resurrected pumpkin during the opening credits has more personality.

I am not completely turned off by this "Halloween" sequel/reboot because there are a few scares, some choice moments for Jamie Lee Curtis and a chilling, suspenseful finish. Michael Myers is still depicted as a mysterious phantom of sorts with a precision-like method of killing, sans all the ridiculous psychological insights from Rob Zombie in his remakes. And yet if the filmmakers (including director and writer David Gordon Green along with co-writer Danny McBride) kept their focus on Laurie and less on the mad psychiatrist and all those disposable teens, we might have had an amazing sequel instead of some serviceable reboot.

Warm Apple Pie Feel

AMERICAN PIE (1999)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I am not a big fan of gross-out comedies, particularly teenage gross-out comedies a la "Porky's" or the "Animal House" variety. Somehow, the idea that teenagers having nothing more on their heads than sexual promiscuity is not very appetizing. Well, sure, I was once a teenager myself, during the

Republican 80's, and I did think about sex, but there were other things on my mind too. "American Pie" is about teens in the 90's, sharing their zestful quest for losing their virginity on prom night. But I am convinced that sex is not the only preoccupation facing teens of America.

Nevertheless, the film's opening sequence is a classic piece of raunchy humor. Jim (Jason Biggs) is watching a porno channel that is barely registering on the cable channel. But the channel's soundtrack is unmistakably clear, as Jim fondles himself until his parents enter the room and are horrified by his

hormonal desires. He gets comical, expert advice from his father (hilariously played by Eugene Levy), who buys him all the porno mags he needs to understand sex. Still, Jim's curiosity gets to him when he is told that sex feels like "warm, apple pie."

Jim is not the only teen in high school hung up on sex - so are all his buddies, mostly lacrosse players. One player (the winsome Chris Klein from "Election") is not all he's cracked up to be, and feels that he has real sensitivity. He woos an intelligent choir girl (Mena Sevauri), who is taken by

his willingness to sing just to get close to her.

The Jerry Lewis-like Jim may not just be interested in sex, but he has a predilection for its orgasmic innuendoes. In a triumphantly classic scene, Jim broadcasts his bedroom antics with a sexy foreign exchange student on the Internet. Only problem is that he is not aware this is being broadcast to the

whole high school community! Jim struts barechested while the voluptuous female gets aroused by a skin magazine, and all the immature high-schoolers howl with laughter.

"American Pie's" saving grace is that some of these kids are made to seem human, unlike the cardboard cartoon characters of "Animal House" or any other horny teen flick from the late 80's starring Corey Feldman. No, these kids are sweet and human and, uh, oh, sensitive! Jim's one line about how a nerdy, talkative band player (Alyson Hannigan) has something else to talk about

besides sex pretty much sums up the sensitivity factor. Naturally. it turns out she wants to use Jim because of his lusty, Net activity. Jason Biggs, Chris Klein and Mena Sevauri at least seem to come from the real world of teenagers, but the burning question remains: is there more to life in high school than sex? If you have seen "Election" or went to high school, you may be compelled

to agree that there is.