This movie can kiss my butt

 NATIONAL LAMPOON'S 

CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I was a huge fan of Chevy Chase for years, at least back in the 80's thru the 90's. I was also a fan of the first two "Vacation" films. I loved the sweetness of the Griswold family and the comedy of errors centering on their every move on their disastrous family trips. "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" has got the sweetness factor of the Griswold family, and hardly any laughs. 

Part of the problem of this movie, lazily written by John Hughes (based on a story of his called "Christmas '59"), is that the Griswolds do not actually go on vacation - they stay home! That wouldn't be such a detriment unless some farcical situations arose from Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase, looking more stiff and bored than in 1989's earlier sequel release, "Fletch Lives") and his insatiable need to light up the homestead so it can, I don't know, look like the Northern Star that can be seen from the International Space Station? Nevertheless, the gags are so shopworn, so obvious that nothing comes of them. Clark falls from the roof while stapling Christmas lights! Not a big laugh. Other gags include Clark getting hit with floorboards while locked in the attic, or racing on some makeshift sled down one too many snowy slope hills. There's also Clark setting up a humongous Christmas tree in the living room where all the branches break windows. Some gags are just mean-spirited such as a cat getting electrocuted, or a dog eating way too much food and making gurgling noises under the dinner table.

The film has no spark of inspiration - it is so lifeless and unfunny that it sits on the screen and we wait for something to happen. Chevy is at his best when talking to his wife, Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo), about having a nice Christmas at home - D'Angelo has one moment that gets a half a second of a chuckle where she grabs Chevy's crotch! But do we really want a Clark Griswold who is nice and winsome - when he starts to get erratic towards the end, it feels cheap and unearned compared to his wild antics at Wally World in the first film. Other than that, we get reliable pros like Julia Louis-Dreyfus as an irate neighbor, returnee Randy Quaid as as the uninvited Cousin Eddy, and some TV and film legends such as Diane Ladd, E.G. Marshall, Doris Roberts, Mae Questel (yes, Betty Boop's voice actor) and John Randolph appearing but they are mostly bereft of wit. And the Griswold kids (played by different actors in all these movies of alternating body size and shape) leave much to be desired (sorry to Juliette Lewis and Johnny Galecki but they are boring). 

"National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" has inexplicably become a Christmas classic and many viewers seem to enjoy it. I see nothing here other than gags prepped for jokes without delivery or payoff. Like the film's climax involving a toxic sewer line and the kidnapping of a corporate boss, it is as stale as year-old fruit cake and as soporific as Chevy Chase's delivery of dialogue like "Kiss my ass." This movie can kiss mine.

We all want to believe in something

 THE MYSTERY OF D.B. COOPER (2020)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

There are at least two rare events in the annals of 20th century high-profile crimes that have yet to be solved. There is the identity of the Zodiac Killer and the mystery to end all mysteries - the actual identity of D.B. Cooper. The name almost approaches mythic status - essentially D.B. Cooper disappeared from an airplane as he jumped out with a parachute and bags of money back in the 1970's. His disappearance is more than a mystery at this point - it is nothing short of unbelievable and yet the kick you get out of this legendary air pirate is to consistently ask yourself: how did he do it and how did he get away with it. "The Mystery of D.B. Cooper" is not to meant to solve the mystery so much as deepen it - to extrapolate the truths of a legend whom we will probably never be able to identify. It is an all-consuming legend, the type of hijacking that remains the only unsolved one and that is the thrill of it.

1971 was the year and the icy winds of a frigid Thanksgiving night in the Oregon wilderness is the place where D.B. Cooper parachuted to. Or did he? Did he die while parachuting due to those 200 mph icy winds from a 727? Why was money later found 40 miles away from the projected parachute jump? Questions linger as we encounter three different possibilities. One involves a con man named Duane Weber who made a confession on his deathbed that he was Dan Cooper. His wife Jo had no idea what he was talking about yet she pieced together information from one happy photo where Duane had proclaimed victory over something, though it is not clear what exactly. Jo tells how he would pass the  woodsy areas by car, an area he was overly familiar with. Did he find his money that he had buried somewhere and not share it with her or what? 

Another involves an uncle who stopped coming over for family dinners at Thanksgiving and Christmas named L.D. Cooper. The niece Marla (who says she is often seen as a Laura Palmer-lookalike, you know the dead girl from "Twin Peaks") is certain without a doubt that he is the D.B. Cooper because her uncle allegedly discussed some plan before Thanksgiving while actively hunting for turkeys! Could Marla be wrong, though it turns out her father admitted the uncle was the man himself?

Another involves a transgender woman who admitted she was D.B. Cooper to Ron and Pat Forman, or least expressed concern over any criticism of the Cooper man. The Formans met this transgendered woman on an airstrip - her car would often be parked in the middle of it which raises lots of questions. She turns out to be an accomplished pilot so who knows.

"The Mystery of D.B. Cooper" does an excellent job of setting up the skyjacking itself along with interviews of flight stewardesses and airline pilots who lived through this hijacking (the college kid who observed Cooper sitting across from him is a fascinating bit of business and there is something eerie about his observations). Then it segues to the claims made by seemingly broken families about the real D.B. Cooper. Any one of these stories could be true (not to mention Richard McCoy, Jr. who hijacked a plane a few months after Cooper did yet got caught, escaped from prison a few times and later died in a shootout. He bares a likeness to D.B. yet it turns out the FBI ruled him out as the suspect). What gives the doco a major push towards some semblance of credibility is that director John Dower allows these alleged claims to come alive - any one of them could be a separate subject for a whole documentary. Whether you believe these people or not is not nearly as important as how they are conveyed - these are real people who have possibly encountered an extraordinary individual. 

I found no fault with "Mystery of D.B. Cooper." The film has a charge of urgency to it, of something potent about this unusual crime that still remains unsolved. Its potency is partially derived from its pre-9/11 context in its depiction of the ease by which passengers used to be able to board a plane (heck, Dan Cooper might not even have been this guy's name). Ultimately, the film is about searching for something, to prove one's worth and perhaps that is why there is such an indelible impression made by someone who everyone could identify with, if not necessarily the crime itself. Notable author and D.B. Cooper expert Bruce Smith ("DB Cooper and the FBI – A Case Study of America’s only Unsolved Skyjacking") says that we all want to be Cooper, to be tough enough to get away with it because there isn't much in the way of opportunity. Or as another writer puts it: "It gives us all a chance to believe in something."