GREMLINS (1984)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
The story of a picture postcard town that is already coming apart during the Christmas season before any nasty, destructive gremlins appear sounds like a great concept for a horror-comedy. That is the essence of Joe Dante's cruelly mischievous Christmas monster movie that is more monstrous than sweet, more jokey with in-joke references galore than moralistic or safe. I am all for that but "Gremlins" was not for the kids of 1984 - today, this movie would sit comfortably next to most of what passes for PG-13. Its nearly savage violence of 40 years ago would now be considered less than a threat or a problem - have we all become immune to violence in cinema or is the world more violent than it ever was? That's neither here or there because "Gremlins" (produced by Steven Spielberg and written by Chris Columbus) is not evocative of the real world but there are implied notions that something is already not safe in this seemingly safe little town.
Billy Peltzer (Zach Galligan) is a bank teller who is practically supporting his family, which includes his failing inventor of a dad (Hoyt Axton) and his occasionally doleful mother (Frances Lee McCain). They live in a house in Kingston Falls (obvious shades of Bedford Falls) with a needy dog and various colorful neighbors namely Mr. Futterman (Dick Miller), an unemployed Noodle factory worker now driving a snow plow for cash, and the nasty, greedy Mrs. Deagle (Polly Holiday) who wishes to foreclose everyone's home (the reasons are more explicitly stated in the DVD deleted scenes). Billy has an interest in a cute bank teller, Kate (Phoebe Cates), and eventually works up the nerve to ask for a date. In the midst of all this, Daddy Peltzer buys a Mogwai (in Cantonese, it means "demon"), a furry little animal with big ears, from an antique shop in Chinatown. The purchase is made with three warnings which we all should know by now: "Don't get them wet" (they will reproduce), "Don't get them near bright lights" and, lastly, "do not feed them after midnight." The last one never made sense - what if the rule was to never feed them chicken which they devour with voracious delight in one close-up scene.
All three rules are naturally broken. What starts out as a fanciful fantasy movie on the order of "E.T." becomes a hellish horror movie with a bloody stain. The Mogwai reproduce and some of them, not our furry hero "Gizmo," eat after midnight after tricking Billy and metamorphosize into icky "Alien"-like cocoons, thus becoming ferocious, pop-culture minded green-skinned, lizard-like, evil gremlins (sans fur except for one who sports a white stripe on his head) who love watching "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"! The violence is turned up to 11 when Momma Peltzer stabs a gremlin, throws one into the mixer and another into a microwave where the wicked creature blows up! That is just the family kitchen mayhem; then the malevolent creatures continue their brutality in the living room and Billy arrives and decapitates one of them with a sword! We also get the gremlins giving the stereotypically money-loving Mrs. Deagle the ride of her life! Traffic lights are messed with and those little critters even do a little Christmas caroling. Oh, and the poor science teacher who does experiments on one of the Mogwai gives new meaning to the phrase, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you."
What is fascinating if still given short-shrift is how people survive in this town - many of them are unemployed and about to face foreclosures on their homes (some of this figures into the plot of another Spielberg production, "The Goonies"). One mother with two kids (Belinda Balaski, a Dante regular) pleads with Mrs. Deagle to wait for their mortgage payment and she is humiliated by that real-estate snake. As aforementioned, Billy's parents do not work - Papa Peltzer goes on cross-country trips to push his inventions which includes the famous Bathroom Buddy (he even gets the idea that the Gizmo could become a Peltzer pet). Mr. Futterman is also struggling and hates gremlins, and the guy who owns a bar, Dorry (Kenny Davis), lets Kate work for nothing. Kingston Falls is about to level and disappear from existence so they are somewhat doomed already. By the end, you might think that the Gremlins' rampage actually helps lift the town out of its doldrums, sort of.
"Gremlins" is a nasty funhouse of horrors though portions of it can go a long way. Director Joe Dante maybe shows too much of the gremlins in scenes at a bar where they drink merrily, shoot each other, breakdance and even expose themselves to Kate, the bartender working for free. It is curious how quickly the Gremlins infrequently speak and are savvy with their pop-culture references - where the hell did they learn them from? Watching them mimic playing poker and Humphrey Bogart makes one wonder if somehow this referential input came from Gizmo who inadvertently birthed all these creatures. Still, "Gremlins" is wicked, unrelenting fun and a little nasty (Gizmo held against a wall while darts are flung at him could give one nightmares) but still somewhat upbeat in its mannered look at a homely town terrorized by unfazed, unremorseful creatures. Billy wants to keep Gizmo despite the very violent Christmas Eve night and it takes a kind, wise Chinese gentleman (Keye Luke) to teach them all a lesson. He owns Gizmo, understands him and speaks his language and cares for him. We could all learn from him.