Jarmusch notwithstanding, this is still zombie by the numbers

 THE DEAD DON'T DIE (2019)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

A Jim Jarmusch absurdist take on the zombie genre might seem like a radical idea, but only to those who have never seen a zombie movie. George Romero's "Dead" films kind of tackled this before, starting with the satirical and bleakly funny "Dawn of the Dead." Except "Dawn" was released in 1978 and what followed in its wake were many, many iterations of the zombie genre done with sometimes savvy humor and an absurdist tone. "Shaun of the Dead," anyone? "The Dead Don't Die" is absurdist in largely mediocre ways, so mediocre in fact that I can't call it absurdist. It feels like pre-programmed absurdist claptrap. And Jarmusch is one of the few cinematic kings of absurdism, so color me disappointed.

There's the small, boring town of Centreville where not much happens at all where you have one diner, one gas station, one motel, etc. The only bright spot of lively energy comes from the local mortician, a samurai-wielding woman named Zelda (Tilda Swinton, of course). She's such an original character that I'd preferred if she was the lead of this movie. Instead Jarmusch (who wrote and directed) aims his focus on two rather standard-issue police officers and they are both played by Bill Murray and Adam Driver! These two actors can burn the screen with their larger-than-life personalities yet there is not much charisma on display here and not much chemistry between them - they are low-key yet they are nothing more than robots with the barest of wit emitted from their lips. Another officer, the frightened and easily spooked Mindy (an exceptional Chloe Sevigny), shows sympathy in this indifferent town. Nobody seems to care when zombies attack and munch on bloody entrails - if this is meant to be absurdist, too little and too late since Romero beat Jarmusch to the punch several decades ago.

A motley crew of characters, including Selena Gomez (motel occupant travelling with two guys), Larry Fessenden (motel owner), and a creepy homeless man as only Tom Waits can play him, basically arrive on screen and disappear - they are like ghosts and we never feel invested in their fates. The film looks washed-out with a gray scale I have seen one too many times in far too many similar horror tales. Other than an otherworldly surprise presence and Swinton's colorful characterization, there is not much to latch onto in "The Dead Don't Die." I did get a kick out of seeing a Samuel Fuller gravestone that Iggy Pop popped out of. That's a witty reference that will make sense only to cineastes. Zombie fans, steer clear. 

Network with Satan guest, 30 share easy.

LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 

Imagine any current late-night TV host having a demonically possessed girl as a guest - the ratings would go through the roof! A 30 share easy. High ratings could help a 1970's talk show host like Jack Delroy climb up near Johnny Carson's top spot. "Late Night With the Devil" is more funny than frightening yet no less effective as a unique horror take using a novel twist to conjure up scares and unsettling moments. It is nothing earth-shattering or ear-splittingly noisy or eye-piercingly unnerving horror but it will do as counter-programming to the last "Exorcist" or "Omen" offerings.

Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian) is not your usual TV host - he's lively, upbeat and is down for anything in something akin to a variety show than "The Tonight Show." But there is something deeper, something slightly unsettling about Jack and his topsy-turvy life. He starts off as a success but bad luck emerges. Jack's wife dies of cancer and he disappears for a month only to return to a show that is tanking in the ratings. A Halloween 1977 episode, however, offers Jack the opportunity to bounce back by inviting an alleged psychic (Fayssal Bazzi); Ian Bliss as a James Randi-type skeptic (no doubt that the first two guests were inspired by a famous Tonight Show episode); a worried parapsychologist and best-selling author June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon) and her intriguing subject, a frequently demonically possessed 13-year-old named Lilly (Ingrid Torelli). Lights flickering and consistent electrical outages are the abnormal occurrences when Lilly appears with June - for some reason, it takes a while before Lilly is convinced not to stare at the TV cameras. 

"Late Night with the Devil" has a few devilish tricks and treats up its sleeve and they will make you squirm on occasion (the ugly worms just might do it). When the psychic vomits a black ooze after his alleged premonitions from random people in the audience, the show's demeanor starts to get heavy and we know trouble is coming. The film uses the cliched gimmick of found footage -as an existing live episode - and I would have been fine with that minus the grating behind-the-scenes footage that interferes with the snappy pacing. Technically, this film would've been perfect at 74 minutes. 

Aussie filmmakers Colin and Cameron Cairnes have mostly done an inventive and witty job of keeping us intrigued by this novel concept. Dastmalchian is an enormously canny actor whose very demeanor suggests someone with a sad inner life who might spring a surprise on you. "Late Night with the Devil" may not be a swinging success in the annals of horror but it has oomph, some major jolts (the replay of a live segment will keep your teeth chattering) and it is often vividly tantalizing. Show this movie on network TV and you will get a 30 share, easy. 

As perfect as escapist movies get

 THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The movies have always been a gateway to escape to another world, an escape from real-life problems. The rich irony to Woody Allen's "The Purple Rose of Cairo" is that the escape from real-life is a gateway to real-life, to the acceptance that real life is nothing like the movies. That is the special and wonderful charm of one of Woody Allen's greatest films. 

The Great Depression has made everyone poor ("The whole country's out of work") yet Cecilia (Mia Farrow), a newly hired waitress at the local diner, is always dreaming of the movies and sees one every week at the local theater. Her boisterous brute of an unemployed, flirtatious husband, Monk (Danny Aiello), plays craps and seemingly refuses to work ("I went to the ice factory and there's nothing there"). Cecilia has to make ends meet and get good tips but before long, she becomes unemployed. So she goes to the movies to escape from her depressing world to see the latest Hollywood programmer, "The Purple Rose of Cairo." This is a movie about the super wealthy (in the 1930's, people needed that kind of escape from the world - who the heck knew anybody who was wealthy?) and a naive explorer/archaeologist wearing a pith helmet at every function, including glamorous parties. He's Tom Baxter of the Chicago Baxters (Jeff Daniels) and the flickering movie persona notices that Cecilia is seeing this movie every day. Yep, think of this as a glorious update of "Sherlock Jr." except this Tom Baxter is no Buster Keaton - he is a man in love with Cecilia. This causes a ruckus as he steps off the screen and the movie-within-the-movie stops short of continuing its story. Cecilia teaches Tom everything about real life such as movie money is not real money, that you can't live on love, there are no fade outs during a kiss and that cars just can't start without an ignition key! There is also a bordello scene that is possibly one of the sweetest bordello scenes ever seen, if that seems possible.

"Purple Rose of Cairo" could have floated beautifully with this impossible romance on its own yet Allen complicates things. Gil Shepherd (also played by Jeff Daniels) is the Hollywood actor who comes this small NJ town to convince "his creation" to get back on the screen. Easier said than done. To make things even more complicated, Gil falls in love with Cecilia and buys her a ukulele. Is this love with Gil for real, or is the blooming romance between the fictional Tom and Cecilia more real?

"The Purple Rose of Cairo" is a cinematic jewel, a truly remarkable comedy sprinkled with enough real drama dust to pass as one of Woody's most perfect films. Pure joy is evident in every frame. Every performance, every Depression-era period detail, every piece of music so suffuses every scene that it flows like a dream one that doesn't want to end. That's the movies, folks, but maybe not real life! Cecilia learns that painful lesson.

Make me Believe in the Warrens again

 THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (2021)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The Warrens are such a lovely couple, so devoted to each other and their grounded love that you wish they would be at the service of a better horror movie than "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It." This latest Conjuring sequel is microwaved leftovers, leaving us with such a bland, overcooked taste that I just felt disappointed and underwhelmed. There is nothing here you haven't been served before.

This latest "Conjuring" movie begins with an exorcism of a bespectacled tyke whose body contorts and bends with such bone-cracking violence that I expected the kid to die. Alas, the kid is okay as the demon is transferred to an older twentysomething named Arne Johnson who insists on this transference by uttering words we had heard in another movie from 1973: "Take Me!" The question is whether Arne is really possessed or is the demon up to something else? Well, apparently this demon has murder on its mind as it gets Arne to kill his landlord with a pocket knife. Here is my question: if a demon can possess you (an amazing supernatural ability when you get right down to it), is the only thing on its mind is to have its host stab a landlord 22 times who is letting Arne and his girlfriend stay rent-free?

Naturally, our favorite demonologists, Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga), are on board to prove that Arne is not a killer because, you know, the Devil made him do it (this was the first actual court case where demonic possession was entered as evidence). Plus, they know Arne from the possession of that young kid at the beginning of the movie. All this involves Lorraine to do the heavy work of veering into the visions of another dead victim that involves some occultist's totem (one which is discovered in the basement of the house from the opening sequence). Poor Ed has heart issues thanks to the near-deadly touch of the Devil so, for the majority of the movie, he has to walk with a cane. 

None of this is goosebumping fun at all. Sure, this is based on a true story yet the details of this infamous 1981 case and the possession feel cribbed from many other movies, regardless of their (dubious) authenticity. This third "Conjuring" gets wrapped up in snore-inducing climaxes inside a house with a basement that leads to a lower level that looks like a lair out of any thousand movies about the occult (complete with an altar). The Warrens were more dynamic in previous "Conjuring" movies and only show their affection in a lovely ending. Unfortunately, they are mostly going through the paces of demonic visions that look tired, unfocused and plainly mediocre. Make me believe in the Warrens again.

Green Acres with Chevy Chase

FUNNY FARM (1988)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Funny Farm" might be the most laid-back, genteel Chevy Chase comedy ever. It is so lightweight and so innocuous that you'll wonder if you are watching a different movie than what constitutes Chase's norm. Not the case since this is Chevy Chase as a solid leading man with a role that was tailor-made for him. He is so good that he disappears into the role of a former sportswriter that decides to pack the bags and move into the country with his wife. Ducks on the pond, fresh air with no pollutants - think of this as a big-screen version of "Green Acres." No pig, but there is a stuffed squirrel and a dog who just lays on the living room with his tail getting a tad too close to the fireplace. 

Now, "Funny Farm" is not as typical as you might think in terms of city slickers adapting to country life of mosquitos and insects. This upbeat, very loving and affectionate couple are adapting to their dream home in the middle of the desolate woods and covered bridges where Andy (Chase) is about to write the great American novel (which is nothing more than a heist story). Andy's wife, Elizabeth (Madolyn Smith - boy, how I miss seeing in her movies), a teacher, is happy enough to go along with Andy's dream - at heart, she might still be a city girl. Still, nothing better than planting seeds on the ground only to discover...a coffin!  Digging up the coffin requires Andy and his wife to cough up the money for funeral expenses! Say what? Meanwhile, Andy mostly falls asleep while writing but manages to come up with a manuscript that Elizabeth is less than thrilled with. There's the matter of the mailman with a devilish laugh who careens through their town road throwing their mail near their mailbox. The sheriff can't drive since he has no license so he takes a taxi! Elizabeth finds the stuffed squirrel at an antique shop that inspires her to write children's stories, much to the chagrin of Andy. 

Much of "Funny Farm" aims to be pleasant, tranquil and funny in terms of how country folk respond to this couple. Yet Chase finds humor in just trying to belong to his new neighbors and has difficulty adjusting. A new phone installed in their home is mistaken for a pay phone! In the funniest scene in the entire movie, Chase's Andy does everything he can to convince the operator that he is inserting coins into this phone, and gets to mimic some voices that will sound familiar to those who love the original "Fletch." When opening the door to their new home, they discover it is a dutch door after Andy drops Elizabeth while carrying her- old-hat gag perhaps but it still made me smile. Then there is the delicacy at a local restaurant where Andy is dared to finish consuming "lamb fries" and break the record. To say much more would be to ruin its own delectable surprises. 

"Funny Farm" is not side-splittingly funny but it is engaging and has plenty of funny gags and keenly observant humor. It also has a believable married couple in Chase and Smith - if only they had paired again.

Don't lose your head watching this

WOLFEN (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Blood-curling, animalistic, expressive music chords run throughout "Wolfen." There are very few moments where music is not in the picture as it brings a sense of foreboding in the South Bronx, a drug-ridden, collapsed area of New York. Never did I imagine that it would lead to a pack of superwolves protecting their habitat - I am guessing the music is meant to underscore that. 

Albert Finney is a retired NYC detective living in Staten Island, formerly Captain Dewey Wilson who is given an assignment. Apparently, a wealthy real-estate mogul, his wife who loves to snort cocaine (ah, the early 1980's) and a limo driver in Battery Park are savagely killed by something, perhaps animal. Nobody is too sure but their throats are ripped open so, yes, definitely canine, definitely wolf. A superwolf? A shape-shifting werewolf? Could it be Edward James Olmos as a Native American who works at the top of the George Washington Bridge - at night, he takes off his clothes and howls to the moon on the beach. Hmmm, could be the shape-shifting werewolf? 

Judging by the thermal, almost infrared look of the wolves' POV, I would say Olmos can't run and run up and down through broken-down, partially bombed-out edifices. Captain Wilson partners up with a criminal psychologist (Diane Venora) to  try to find the culprit responsible (it is not a terrorist group as the NYPD seems to think). The investigation, right down to details such as how a severed head can still talk after one minute despite lack of oxygen, is intriguing and keeps us guessing as to where this is headed. We get an explanation from Eddie and his Native American friends towards the end of the film that is somehow too late in the game. I would have liked that explanation a little sooner, and a little less of Venora wondering what is causing the noise outside her bedroom window when it turns out to be, wait for it, her orange cat.

"Wolfen" is a fascinating, often enjoyable mystery thriller with maybe one too many wolfen POV shots. I can see what director Michael Wadleigh ("Woodstock") was aiming for but some chase scenes and shootouts become repetitive and are not as well choreographed as I would have hoped. You won't lose your head over this movie but you may be gasping for oxygen. 

Can't twist my neck to believe this

 THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

A new Exorcist movie comes equipped with problems from the start. For one, can any sequel ever come close to the original or even the underrated "Exorcist III"? Would the original film's late author William Peter Blatty have shrieked in disbelief over refrying the original and adding two possessed girls instead of one? Have we seen one possession too many? Yes, to all. 

There is a mildly promising start, and it is slightly overkill in execution. We are in Port-au-Prince, Haiti as a pregnant woman practically dies during a horrific earthquake. Her husband, Victor (Leslie Odom, Jr.), a photographer, has the unfortunate task at the hospital of choosing to either to save his wife or his unborn daughter. The daughter is chosen. Flash to a Georgia town thirteen years later and his surviving daughter, Angela (Lidya Jewett, a striking presence), wants to stay over at her friend's house and study. Hmmm, maybe not since the two girls, the other being a religious Katherine (Olivia O'Neil), venture out into the woods and come back three days later with burns on their feet. They attempted a seance in the woods to channel Angela's mother so I guess the moral is, don't perform a seance in the woods or the Devil will come and get you!

Aside from an amazingly scary moment that had me jump out of my chair, nothing else in "The Exorcist: Believer" will get to you in any primal way. Girls possessed by demons, with Katherine channeling a Linda Blair-likeness with a cross cut into her forehead, is only chilling for about five seconds. They speak in Mercedes McCambridge's deep vocal bass but considering how many devil possession movies we have had (we recently had "The Pope's Exorcist" for one), it is more than a cliche at this point- it has simply become a bad vaudeville routine. Leslie Odom, Jr. would clearly like to be back in his "Hamilton" musical role because he is so stone-cold in expressing emotion that I thought he was becoming possessed. Katherine's parents are so anonymous in feeling and outrage over what's happened that you forget they are parents at all. Nothing in the movie registers with any singularly true or honest emotion - it is preconceived swill that is easy to digest and just as easy to forget. Repeating visual motifs from the original classic such as a close-up of the turning on of a lamp (you'll know it when you see it), dogs violently attacking each other or subliminal demon images do nothing in its favor.    

Ellen Burstyn shows up in a 10-minute cameo as a silver-haired Chris MacNeil that shows authority and steely determination, everything the rest of this snoozer lacks. Other than enduring a shockingly vile and violent act done to poor Chris MacNeil, nothing else in this overlong movie will keep you awake. The power of Christ will compel you to sleep through it.

God is in our hearts

 STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER (1989)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Anticlimax is one way to define the alleged climax of "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier." A face-to-face encounter with God or some grand, titanic otherworldly presence should be glorious and spiritual and out-of-this-world. The Trek crew always travelled where no man has gone before but it seems rock pillars and some giant, flashy hologram is all we get. This would have been acceptable in the TV series but in a theatrical film, it should be an awesome sight to bewilder us.

"Star Trek V" is still somewhat fun for the first hour or so. The camaraderie between Captain Kirk, Dr. Bones and Spock alone should've merited something far more of a kick-in-the-pants cosmic adventure. The sheer dynamic charisma of these three actors is a joy to witness - there is also a ring of welcome to see the usual gang aboard the Enterprise. No less interesting and dynamic is the presence of  Laurence Luckinbill as the renegade Sybok, the half-human and half-Vulcan who is wishing to cross the Great Barrier where no starship dared to go and meet God. Sybok may sound insane but Spock seems to recognize him, a plot point I will leave for you to discover. This Sybok, who has his emotions and a contagious laugh, can also channel a person's deepest recesses of painful memories and either erase them or make them feel better about themselves - I was a little lost in understanding his supernatural abilities. It does leave for one of the film's finest scenes where Sybok attempts to channel Bones, Spock and the reluctant Kirk. 

Despite a rather tepid introduction of three different potential characters such as Caithlin Dar from the Romulan Empire (Cynthia Gouw), a wasted David Warner as St. John Talbot, a Federation official, and a burping Klingon, the movie never quite takes off the ground until we get to the actual mission to reach the Great Barrier and a desert planet. We have two desert planets in the movie, two Tattoines (sorry, had to say it), and that includes the opening section with Nimbus III where Sybok has taken the Federation officer, a Romulan, and a drunk Klingon hostage. Apparently, this is a trick to lure the Enterprise. None of this should have made it to the script level at all. Skip all that, start with our Enterprise crew and maybe Sybok could take command of the Klingon ship, the Bird of Prey with a cloaking device seen in the last two sequels. Just a thought.

Thanks to William Shatner's decent directing debut in the Trek universe,"Star Trek V" has some vivid scenes that recall the philosophical angle of "Star Trek III" and some pretty good comical action scenes (Kirk, at first, stays on the planet to try to fight God?) I love Scotty's complaints about the ship's malfunctions  ("I know this ship like the back of my hand") and it is great, albeit short-lived, fun to see Sulu and Chekov again not to mention Lt. Uhura performing a backlit dance that is at odds with the Trek universe. There is also a fascinating glimpse into Spock and Sybok's previous encounters. But the movie has a couple of missed opportunities with the God-like (?) apparition or something, and it just felt underwhelming. I really wanted the crew to go where no man has gone before. At times, it felt like we had already been there. 

Highway to Hell

 MAD MAX (1979)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The world of 1979's huge international box-office hit, "Mad Max," is not the same world inhabited by Max or anyone else in the sequels. It is desolate to be sure but there are a trifle few businesses running (eateries, gas stations) and it is seemingly somewhere in the middle of the Australian Outback. No nuclear war has occurred (not until "Beyond Thunderdome") but there are criminal elements ruling the road, namely biker gangs with names like Toecutter and Night Rider. The leather-suited cops (Main Force Patrol) are doing their part to protect the roads from these nutty biker gang members - they get their jollies from driving enormously fast speeds on the road trying to outrun the police. That is until they clash with Max (Mel Gibson), a highway cop who is as nutty as they are when it comes to fierce, unrelenting speeds. 

Gibson's Max in this film is a fairly restrained piece of acting, nowhere near the madman we see in later entries. To be fair, I don't think Max adopted a "I am mad as hell and can't take it anymore" attitude in the sequels, more so in the "Lethal Weapon" movies. Max is depicted here as a family man with a wife and a child, living near a sandy beach (the other cops don't seem to have any family). He has a different attitude on the highways to seemingly nowhere, ready to take on anyone that causes havoc. At home, it is sweet and cuddly with his very tender-hearted wife (Joanne Samuel, playing the most pleasant person in the entire movie) who can't always tolerate Max putting his life on the line.  

Ultimately, "Mad Max" becomes a solid revenge movie with the most thrilling chase scenes ever seen until "The Road Warrior." The cars and motorcycles barrel into any and anything in the distant road in scenes that look like they were filmed at an actual demolition derby. Max suffers some wounds, like a gunshot to his knee, and is ready to kill all these marauding bikers without a hint of remorse (Toecutter's demise happens when he collides with a semi-trailer truck - lesson is keep your eyes on the road). "Mad Max" is memorably sloppy and grungy in the best sense of the word (independent films always have a little less finesse), and never has a dull moment. I would dub it as one of the best exploitation movies ever made with vehicle stunts that will make your eyes pop out like Toecutter's. 

Fast and Furious

 FURIOSA: A MAD MAX SAGA (2024)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Mad Max: Fury Road" is one of the greatest and most imaginative post-apocalyptic action films of all time. Its kinetic, towering action scenes and the exemplary use of Charlize Theron as Furiosa, the one-armed road warrior who is as skilled a driver as Mad Max, added to the immense power of it all. "Furiosa" is not quite on that same grungy, dusty and mechanical level but it will do as a fast-and-furious prequel that will keep you on the edge of your seat throughout. You may have to occasionally duck.

Imperator Furiosa has a hell of a backstory to tell, and it isn't all sunshine and roses. Furiosa (played by Alyla Browne as a tyke) yields from the Green Place of Many Mothers as a prepubescent girl who is kidnapped by mutant-like bikers led by Warlord Dementus (Chris Hemsworth, truly phenomenal) of the Biker Horde.  Furiosa's mother, a warrior in her own right (who isn't in this nihilistic Mad Max world), tries to save her and she's crucified as a result. The young Furiosa finds her path through the years as she's adopted by the pale and fearsome Immortan Joe (Lachy Hulme), much to the chagrin of Dementus, and placed with Joe's many white-dressed breeder wives. Before long, one of Joe's musclebound sons tries to have his way with Furiosa and she escapes. Well, she's not found since she pretends to be a War Boy. Considering how tight security is in this fortress, I don't know how she managed to evade capture.   

"Furiosa" sends us on a desert wasteland that looks more desolate in its saturated color grading than ever before, sharing its audacious visuals of copious sandy dunes, endless roads and blue-hued nighttime scenes with "Fury Road." Quite striking are the scenes inside the Green Place of Many Mothers, a sort of idyllic community of green grass, peach trees and agriculture. This serene place is desired by Dementus, Immortan Joe and many who perhaps want to rekindle the past prior to the nuclear apocalypse. Mostly we get visits to Bullet Farm, and the vast cavernous look of the Citadel with its share of more pale-faced fighters known as the War Boys who will die on command. This world is nasty, violence-prone and everyone gets their adrenaline rush from riding various vehicles and trucks that look ready to split apart before their wheels even touch the ground. Indianapolis 500 on overdrive. Gas is a commodity they can't do without yet vehicle parts are available everywhere.

As with any Mad Max film, there is plenty of visual and aural stimulation that will rock your seat back and forth and maybe burn your eyes off. I was never less than in awe at what director George Miller has crafted here and with previous Mad Max films - he takes you on a journey that is immersive and larger-than-life with unbelievable stunts that seem to cross a level never seen before. "Furiosa" is an elongated chase picture as well as a nifty character progress of what made Furiosa who she was, and Anya Taylor-Joy extraordinarily captures her presence as an emotionally wounded fighter who chooses action over words. Her big eyes strike a chord and say it all and she is a fitting precursor to Charlize Theron's adult Furiosa.

If "Furiosa" falters at all, it is that somehow it's too short for its own good which is surprising since it is 2 hours and 28 minutes long. Also, the movie is not quite as vividly intense in its high-octane action as "Fury Road" or "The Road Warrior" - Miller dials it back a bit which may benefit those who found "Fury Road" overloaded. A side character with Max's lone wolf reticence, Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke), is not given enough screen time. These are minor quibbles and we get ample amount of Furiosa shooting bullets and firing arrows with the marksmanship of an Annie Oakley (hey, what if she got to play Annie in a big-screen treatment?), not to mention the humorous asides from Hemsworth's Dementus. His final scene with Furiosa is as memorably confrontational in its acidly-written dialogue exchange as the Joker and Batman's confrontation in "The Dark Knight." This "Furiosa" roars with excitement that only George Miller can deliver. 

Birth of Damien is 2 hours too long

THE FIRST OMEN (2024)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When I first heard of the title of this new take on a 50-year-old horror franchise, I thought, well, we already had our first Omen and that was in 1976. Did the filmmakers have amnesia between the 1976 shocker and its needless 2006 remake? Well, duh, because this is the prequel to the events of the 1976 film, not a sequel. There you go. Today, we have sequels with the same titles as the originals, sans Roman Numerals so you'll forgive me if the word "First" threw me off. "The First Omen" is not a disaster and there are inklings here of something more than the standard fire and brimstone Hades tales of many sequels and rip-offs since the original "Omen." Still, I was largely underwhelmed when it was over.

A Massachusetts-born woman, Margaret (Neil Tiger Free), is a novitiate who has just been employed at an Italian orphanage working with the nuns and young girls. Her knowledge of Italian is spotty at best as she is made fun of by the girls yet she gravitates towards one very sullen girl, Carlita (Nicole Sorace), who scribbles on the wooden floors of her room and, when summoned due to bad behavior, is placed in the "Bad Room." Margaret lives in an apartment with a roommate who takes her clubbing. Once there, she meets Paolo and it doesn't take long before he's out of the picture mid-way through this overlong movie.

"The First Omen" has some startling, wild images including when Margaret wakes up in bed with strands of her long hair forming what looks like a giant spider (see the picture above). A Caesarean is performed in one scene that is enough to make strong stomachs ache (it almost garnered an NC-17 rating). There is also a vision of a demonic nun that may remind you of "The Nun," of course. Most of the movie has flashes reminiscent of "Rosemary's Baby" than "The Omen" or its various inferior sequels. In fact, except for one timidly gory death at the beginning and an immolation harkening back to a suicide by hanging in the original, this "First Omen" doesn't have much of the flavor or Gothic look of the original films. What might have worked as the story of a woman's need to become a nun, facing obstacles like sex and dancing at clubs in addition to facing unimaginable horrors, becomes a late-night horror film that resembles early 90's made-for-VHS/DVD horror. I don't know if that was the intended aesthetic but it did not leave me nostalgic for that type of low-rent, smoky, sepia-toned horror fare. 

Neil Tiger Free easily gives the film some of its soul and she is the best thing in it (aside from an unrecognizable and chilling Sonia Braga as the abbess of the orphanage). Most of the movie though is easy to anticipate including those very cliched false alarm scares minus (thankfully) the shrieking alarm sounds, and the big secret that you can pretty much guess from the beginning. As a demonic horror movie, it does a serviceable if unwanted job of leading up to the opening scenes of the first "Omen." Give the real First Omen another look.

All you need is ganas

 STAND AND DELIVER (1988)

A LOOK BACK by Jerry Saravia

Ganas, that is all some East L.A. Latino high-schoolers need to take and pass the dreaded A.P. Calculus exam - a surefire way to get college credit. Math teacher Jamie Escalante (Edward James Olmos, a deserved Oscar-nominated role) begins teaching at the James A. Garfield High School with the hopes of turning things around at this school. Not much hope exists amongst the faculty, the teachers, not even the students yet Escalante knows these kids are smart and it is not just about them applying themselves to the challenge - it is about proving everyone wrong about these Latinos from the barrio whose job prospects and future endeavors seem extremely limiting.

I saw "Stand and Deliver" at the Douglaston, Queens movie theater a year before graduating from high school and loved the film then. Today, it is still a pleasurable, realistic look at the difficulties of teachers' jobs in educating kids and the tremendous struggle for these high-schoolers to do such challenging math work when just getting a passing grade in algebra is hard enough. The faculty has no faith but Escalante does - teach them with humorous asides and make it a party. After a while, the students start clapping their hands and their desks in unison, and we know that Escalante has gotten to them - he makes education fun. I had the impression then, and now, that I could take that difficult exam too if I had the right enthusiastic teacher. Of course, math never was my strong suit but if I was a student in his class, he wouldn't tolerate a mediocre response without persuading me. 

"Stand and Deliver" is based on a true story and it is about as gritty as one can get with this material, diligently and humanistically delivered by director Ramon Menendez. Naturally, some of the nuances are not all there with regards to relationships and the difficult learning process of studying one of the toughest mathematics courses ever. Escalante suffers a near-fatal heart attack (although in reality, there was an issue with his gall bladder) yet continues teaching as if he just ate some bad food. His devoted yet firm wife, Fabiola (Rosana De Soto), doesn't want her husband teaching extracurricular classes such as ESL for free, not to mention helping their youngest son with math homework. It is no wonder that Escalante is under extreme stress, making sure his barrio students pass this exam but at what cost? The movie skims past this with too much ease. I wanted to see more class sessions, especially the clarification of one particular math problem that everyone gets wrong and yet Escalante never tells them the right answer (is this so that all the students on the A.P. exam can get the same answer right/wrong despite not telling them one way or the other?) I wanted more scenes of familial struggles with these students who have to take classes through Christmas! We get an inkling of that with Angel (Lou Diamond Phillips) who is member of a gang that doesn't exactly believe in hitting the books - you know, got to preserve the tough guy image. He has a sick mother and there is a hint that he seems reluctant to be a gang member. There's also the late Vanessa Rosalia Marquez as Ana, a gifted student who almost makes the unfortunate choice of leaving school to work full-time in her father's restaurant. This student and Angel are given more emphasis in their endeavors than any of the others.

"Stand and Deliver" is an effective entertainment with a joyous ending that feels somewhat earned but we know it had to be even tougher. If only the director Menendez took more time to focus on Escalante, his family, and the students' lives so that we could see that progress played out. We get an inkling but there is not enough, oh, I don't know, ganas.