Don't call me Junior!

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (1989)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The third time's the charm in the last entry of the wonderful "Indiana Jones" series. Although it is essentially a recap of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" using Nazis again as villains, it is also the official sequel to "Raiders," taking atmosphere that restrains itself from being as over-the-top as "Temple of Doom" place two years later after the original. It also has a comforting, relaxing of humor and provides more depth on Indiana than the last two did. But do not fret, "Last Crusade" is chock full of action scenes and plenty of derring-do. 

This time, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford, aging very gracefully) is in pursuit of the Holy Grail, the cup that Jesus Christ drank from at the Last Supper. A millionaire named Walter Donovan (Julian Glover) wants to acquire the Grail before anyone else does and suggests that Indiana find it. Indiana, being the resourceful adventurer and archaeologist, senses that his father (Sean Connery), an expert on Grail mythology, is the more appropriate choice. Unfortunately, Indy's father is already on the search and is missing, which means that Indy not only has to find his father but also the Grail. Accompanying Indy on his first stop in this journey to Venice is Indy's mentor, Marcus (the late Denholm Elliott), and a typically beautiful art historian, Dr. Elsa Schneider (Alison Doody). Lots of chaos ensues as well as wall-to-wall action scenes in motorboats, planes, motorcycles, zeppelins, tanks, horses, and so on. The film, as directed by Steven Spielberg, juxtaposes all these scenes with moments of pure comic relief and enough moments of pause and reflection before embarking on yet another dazzling action sequence. One inspired moment has Indy confronting Adolf Hitler, a scene that is hilarious and eerie in a strange way (apparently, there was a deleted scene where a Leni Riefenstahl filmmaker is shooting footage of the burning of books in a Nazi rally).

It is remarkable that after two movies, "Last Crusade" still finds something innovative and fresh in situations that are as cliched as romantic kisses before a fade out. For example, a typically sorry bit involving a revolving wall is punctuated by tightly edited action and some burst of humor, like using an Adolf Hitler head statue to block the revolving wall from letting Nazis enter (Groucho Marx would've been proud of such a moment). A motorcycle chase is handled with finesse when it turns into a jousting tournament. A plane ready to fire at its heroes on a beach is demolished by flying geese (thanks to a quote from Charlemagne). Another plane nearly explodes when its wings fall apart entering a tunnel where the heroes are being chased in a car. The climactic tank chase is especially good, though it does seem to run out of steam after a while until it ends with...well, just see the movie. Oh, yes, and the zeppelin sequence has a one-liner by Ford that remains something of a classic (Kevin Smith paid homage to the line in "Dogma".) In addition, there is a clever opening sequence introducing the late River Phoenix as a young Indy, a Boy Scout in Utah, who is pursued for robbing an artifact from looters. All of Indy's trademarks are exploited and explained. 

It was a blessing to cast Sean Connery as Indiana's father, Dr. Henry Jones, a highly private professor who is amazed at his son's ingenuity of getting out of one scrap after another. This also serves a more historical note in cinema in that Connery used to play James Bond, who is the true sire of Indiana Jones (lest we forget that Spielberg initially wanted to make a Bond movie before George Lucas introduced an idea about an archaeologist). Connery and Ford have the right chemistry and their bickering and shouting results in a newfound respect for one another (Indy's father has mostly been estranged).

The villains are nastily evil, as always, yet none come close to the great villain Belloq from "Raiders of the Lost Ark." He had a charm and humanity that is unrivaled, particularly when wooing Karen Allen's Marion, Indy's original leading lady. Here, we have Michael Byrne as Vogel, a Nazi commandant who certainly has a hardened evil streak within but is mostly a cartoonish variation on his similar role in "Force 10 From Navarone," which also starred Ford. There is one other villain but it would be a spoiler to reveal who he is.

Alison Doody has charisma to spare as the good doctor with a few cards up her sleeve, but she is a disappointment when compared to Karen Allen's feistiness. She is a major improvement on Kate Capshaw's whiny love interest in "Temple of Doom" if only because she does not scream every two minutes.

"Raiders" returnees Denholm Elliott and John Rhys-Davies bring back their roles with equal relish and delight (though I wonder why Marcus is turned into such a clumsy fool since not a hint of that was suggested in "Raiders"). There is also a nod to "Raiders" when Indiana and Dr. Schneider are in the catacombs of Venice and find a familiar illustration on the wall:

Indy: "It's the Ark of the Covenant." 

Elsa: "Are you sure?"

Indy: "Pretty sure." 

"Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" is a more mature, character-driven, less wildly over-the-top entry in the series. It is lots of fun and often magical in its continuingly affectionate tribute to the serials of yesteryear. The action is still intense and surprising, thanks to Steven Spielberg's assured and strenuous direction but it is not as thrillingly manic and ghoulish or as thunderously escapist as the earlier films. Spielberg reportedly scaled back the action and the violence as a response to parents' who were horrified by the grimmer-than-expected tricks of "Temple of Doom" (this is also evidenced by the lighter tone of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," 19 years later). With Ford and the lighthearted touch of Connery, the movie is quite an achievement and it packs an emotional, slightly sentimental punch. Plus, we now know where Indiana got his name from.

Spielberg whips it good

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Spielberg's masterful "Raiders of the Lost Ark" was set in the year 1936. "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" takes place in 1935, one year before the events of "Raiders." Not that it matters because this entry retains the flavor, if not the subtlety, of the original. "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" remains the most exhausting action-adventure film ever made, building on one clever surprise and predicament after another and never letting up for one second. "Raiders" had momentum and moments where the audience could breathe. Spielberg goes so over-the-top that it seems we are watching a manic cartoon on overdrive where we can hardly brake for a single breath.

The film begins with an explosive opening sequence set in Shanghai that practically outdoes "Raiders" famous opening. We see Indiana dressed in a tuxedo, entering a ritzy nightclub where he meets some nefarious Chinese gangsters. Before you know it, Indiana is poisoned; seeking a vial with the antidote while evading bullets and a Chinese gong; dancers try to perform "Anything Goes" while there is chaos; there are dozens of balloons, rickshaws, and so on. It is a tense, almost spooky action sequence in that the intensity level is so high that you feel you are in a roller coaster that never ends. That is the spirit of the movie. Anyways, Indiana leaves Shanghai almost unscathed from harm with a floozy singer in tow, Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw), and a smart-mouthed Chinese kid named Short Round (Ke Huy Quan) who wears a Yankees hat. They travel by plane until they discover there are no pilots! Then we are in another tense sequence where Indiana tries to fly the plane but fails, gets an inflatable raft (!) and off we go! Before you can say "whew," our weary travelers are in India. It turns out that a small village is suffering thanks to the loss of some precious, magical stones. Of course, Indiana has to travel to a palace where the stones are kept and bring them back to the village. But isn't he a professor and shouldn't he be heading back to America?

Inside the palace, it is discovered that a secret, ancient ritual is performed where hearts are ripped out from unlucky villagers, yet they still manage to breathe! Yes, it is a gross moment among many. "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" has been criticized for its heavy graphic violence and intense action scenes. It was so intense that it led to the creation of the PG-13 rating (that summer saw the mean, thoroughly vicious "Gremlins" which also helped to create such a rating). "Temple of Doom" piles on the gross gags including the eating of monkey brains and oozing liquids and other disgusting creatures in every single crevice of the underground palace. There are also whippings galore, beatings aplenty, and some occasional blood and gore. Some of it is layed on so thick that Spielberg feels he may as well give it all - what the heck, audiences want the thrill-a-minute cliffhangers of "Raiders" and it is delivered ten fold. Some gags go a long way and others do shock, particularly the infamous heart-ripping scene.

Still, "Temple of Doom" is about doom, not "the temple of roses" as Spielberg once said. For thrilling action and incomparable fright, nobody can do it better than the Spielman. We have a room of collapsing walls with spikes, cavernous hideaways, mine cars, waterfalls, planes, collapsing rope bridges, chains, leather, whips, and so on. And our hero even repeats the old marksman versus the swordsman joke only this time, there is no gun!

Ford plays it straight as usual, and is more muscular than before (thanks to Body by Jake in the credits). Kate Capshaw remains a bit of a bore in the film, far too whiny and insipid to inspire much sympathy. Still, she has a few bravura moments, especially the "five minute" scene where she waits for Indiana to make love to her. She has some pizazz and comedic energy but hardly enough, and is no comparison to the feisty Karen Allen in the original. Ke Huy Quan is also a bit of a whiner but also has his inspired moments (like the Buster Keaton gag of climbing onto a mine car by using someone else's body) and a few good one-liners.

The dastardly villain is Mola Ram (Amrish Puri), the leader of a Thuggee cult who is determined to find the lost Sankara stones in the mines. He is cartoonishly evil, lacking some of the depth and personality of the Nazi villains and especially Belloq, the French archaeologist from "Raiders." Still, Mola Ram is a formidable opponent for Indy. At one point, after hearing of Mola Ram's plans to rule the world, Indiana exclaims, "What a vivid imagination." Indeed. Nice bit of trivia: Mola Ram was also a villain in the excellent "Gunga Din."

Possibly the darkest fantasy film Spielberg has ever made, "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" hardly has the sunny disposition of "Raiders" but it is a fierce, unrelenting often humorous action film that often parodies itself and "Raiders." Its vivid, tantalizing action scenes are so grim and of such a roller-coaster-ride mentality that it gives new meaning to the word "breathless."

Never say no to Connery

NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

In 1983, after a twelve-year absence, Sean Connery returned to the role that made him famous: the suave secret spy James Bond. He returned with the smoothness and incalculable presence of the true spy hero we have all come to know and love. "Never Say Never Again" was the ironic title but, outside of Connery and one of the best damn Bond villains ever, the movie is only fitfully exciting and nowhere near as engrossing or as thrilling as Connery's earlier Bond pictures.

James Bond is now a teacher who is asked to complete a strict regiment of diet and exercise at a health farm. He has poisoned his body with too many toxins, including red meat, white bread and dry martinis. "Well, I shall cut out the white bread," says Mr. Bond. Heck, can you imagine Bond not drinking a dry martini? At the health farm, Bond gets wind of trouble when a certain Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera) is beating the holy hell out of some poor schmoe who refuses to scan his eye! Turns out the poor schmoe is...well, if you have seen "Thunderball," you'll know this is an outright remake. Why they chose to remake "Thunderball" is beyond me (something about a contractual obligation) but the plot involves SPECTRE putting the world at ransom after stealing two nuclear missiles. They acquired these missiles thanks to the poor schmoe's fake eye that replicates The President of the United States's right eye! Bond is asked into service to spy on a key figure in this crisis, the suave Largo (Klaus Maria Brandeur), who owns a beautiful ship called "The Flying Saucer" where he can monitor his missiles and have nice conversations with dear old Blofeld (Max Von Sydow). Of course, Bond must also evade Fatima's charms and explosives, play a deadly computer game where the risks mean greater electrical shocks, survive shark attacks, do the tango with Largo's babelicious Kim Basinger, practice massage therapy, use his laser wristwatch to get out of jams, and so on.

I could say that if you have seen one Bond film, you've seen them all. The difference is that Connery's Bond brings back the charm and danger of the real superspy, the man we believed could kill without much provocation. It is the danger element that was missing from Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton's portrayals - Connery has it in spades.

To complement Connery's performance, we have the witty, sneak, mad Largo played by Brandeur. It is a performance of uncontrollable rage and genuine pathos. Look carefully at two scenes he shares with Basinger (playing the good Bond girl, Domino). One has Domino asking Largo what he would do if she left him - "I'll cut your throat," he says as he kisses her. The other tense scene has Largo giving her a priceless artifact to only then destroy it. "You are crazy," says Domino. "Yes, maybe I am," replies Largo. Brandeur and screenwriter Lorenzo Semple, Jr. bring a frightening quality to Largo - acknowledgement of one's own evil. We want him dead yet we feel pity for him. Of all the Bond villains I have seen, Brandeur's Largo may be the most memorable and the most threatening to Bond.

It would have been wonderful to bring back Desmond Llewelyn as the real expert inventor Q (this time played by Alex McCowen), having one last go at humiliating Connery's Bond with his expert knowledge of all gadgets. McCowen is fine but somehow his line deliveries are not as engaging. There is also a new Miss Moneypenny and a new Felix Leitner (interestingly played by Bernie Casey) but both actors pale in comparison to their original counterparts. Only Edward Fox has the right touch as M.

"Never Say Never Again" is not as exciting or as intriguing as Connery's earlier Bonds (the finale is awkward involving an underwater fight) but it will do for Connery fans. This is more of a relaxed action thriller than most - the perfect film to watch with a dry martini.

Martini, shaken or stirred? I don't give a damn

CASINO ROYALE (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Sean Connery epitomized the suave, killer instinct of everyone's favorite superspy, the one and only 007. Roger Moore played it for laughs with plenty of wit, as well maintaining the suavity. George Lazenby and Timothy Dalton never quite fit the role at all. Pierce Brosnan was simply a bore. But I am happy to report that Daniel Craig brings some much needed adrenaline, dry humor, intensity and killer instinct as 007 in one of the best James Bond films ever made, "Casino Royale."

Adapted from Ian Fleming's first novel, "Casino Royale" gives us a more gruff, realistic James Bond, one who is in danger of ever receiving his license to kill due to his volatile nature. At the start of the film, he kills a 00 agent who has been selling secrets. That is his second kill, the first kill is an informant. M (Judi Dench, more authoritative than ever) is reluctant to make the eager James Bond (Daniel Craig) a 00 agent. But Bond is reckless and in full control of his mission: find Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen), a terrorist banker, and take his money at a high stakes poker game so that he cannot finance any more terrorist organizations, and get the girl - this time a smart, sassy treasury agent named Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). Easier said than done. This Bond is not equipped with gadgets galore - he has to use his smarts and his cunning ability to run and jump across one rooftop building after another, not to mention climbing a scaffold at a construction site and a huge crane.

Bond also does a lot more fistfighting than usual, and narrowly gets out of one scrape after another. When he isn't using his fists, he has his Walther PPK gun. When he isn't interrupted by dangerous, life-threatening circumstances while playing poker, he comforts Vesper in a shower scene that is surprisingly touching. This is a James Bond that we care about - Craig shows Bond's humanity, sensitivity and charm and his lack of grace when ordering a martini (Let's just say that Connery never went there). One ingredient missing is Bond's firsthand knowledge of all aspects of his mission; still, this is first major mission so I will let that slide. He also proves to be a lean, muscular killing machine. And the testicle torture scene is extremely tough stuff for a Bond movie (yes, even more torturous than 1989's "License to Kill"). 

As for the villain, we have Le Chiffre whose left eye has the occasionally tear of blood. He is not the usual world-dominating villain - simply a man who is at odds with his money and is vulnerable enough when confronting the people he owes money to. You feel sorry for the guy, something which I can't say I ever felt for Blofeld.

Directed crisply and smoothly by Martin Campbell (who also helmed "Goldeneye"), "Casino Royale" is superlative, first-class entertainment that is edgier, far more intense and more edge-of-your-seat than almost any Bond film with Sean Connery at his peak. Between foot chases and fistfights in hotel staircases and an out-of-control car chase in an airport, there is the sinking of a palazzo that has to be seen to be believed. I have enjoyed most Bond films over the last thirty years (complete with a lack of interest in any that Pierce Brosnan appeared in, aside from "Goldeneye" and "Die Another Day"). But Daniel Craig's Bond sweats bullets in this film, and so will you.

Burt Renolds wants you!

PATERNITY (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The 1970's and 80's were filled with comedies of all sizes and shapes. There were outrageous comedies of the Mel Brooks and Monty Python variety, slapstick like the unforgivable "Slapstick of Another Kind" and the more forgiving and restrained "Micki and Maude," and then there were movies like "Paternity." What is alarming about "Paternity" is that it could only have been made in the 1980's. The movie is genial and pleasing like 1982's vastly underrated "Author, Author," but, more importantly, it doesn't call attention to itself. There is good comic timing and respectable performances and some sublime moments courtesy of Burt Reynolds and Elizabeth Ashley.

Reynolds brings his easygoing charm to the screen as the manager of Madison Square Garden. He is a bachelor but he is not interested in settling down - he just wants a surrogate mother to give birth to a baby, preferably a son. There are a few candidates, including a hilarious misunderstanding with Lauren Hutton as an interior decorator, but no one satisfactory. That is until he meets a waitress (Beverly D'Angelo), who wants to go to an expensive art school in France she can't afford. Reynolds offers 50,000 dollars for her to be the surrogate mother. No mention is made of the fact that she could use the money to go to art school. In fact, Reynolds seems to hold little interest in her as anything but an "unemotional business transaction." He uses those words a lot but, since this is a romantic comedy, you can see where it is headed.

"Paternity" has a slow middle but it is occasionally entertaining and it builds on the chemistry of Reynolds and D'Angelo, who make a dynamite pair. I also found Elizabeth Ashley to be sublime in the few scenes she has where she talks about bringing up children of her own. Also look for young Peter Billingsley, before his iconic role in "A Christmas Story," as a kid who plays basketball with Reynolds.

"Paternity" is a safe, harmless date movie, and probably one of Reynolds' best roles before succumbing to the lows of "Cannonball Run" and its infinite copycats. It would make a nice double-feature with "Author, Author."

Mirror, Mirror, Jill Whitlow is the fairest of them all

 
TWICE DEAD (1988)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Twice Dead" is a goofy horror-comedy that could only have existed in the 1980's. It is difficult to take seriously and its tongue is firmly placed in its cheek, and the gore for a relatively spooky haunted house feature is minimal.

The Cates family have moved into a mansion they inherited. It once belonged to a 1930's stage actor who hung himself after stabbing a female wax figure in the back! Of course, the Cates are unaware of this completely. However, Scott Cates (Tom Bresnahan), a college student interested in FX and makeup, discovers the belongings of this dashing stage actor in the attic, including an old record player and a noose! Scott's sister, (Jill Whitlow), who has an interested in kilns, is drawn in by these findings. Unfortunately, the family has to contend with punk squatters in the opening scenes of the film. These guys look like leftovers from "The Lost Boys," only they are not vampires (that might have been interesting if they were). Silk (Christopher Burgard) is the leader of this gang, and Crip (Jonathan Chapin) has a fixation on Robin and tears up every time he sees her.

Why this gang of misfits wants to hang out at this mansion is the question everyone should be asking - it is only beneficial to the scant plot we are provided. The ghost of the 30's actor resides in the mansion and cannot stand the punks, thus proving to be helpful to Scott and Robin (who bears a resemblance to the wax figure he stabs in the prologue) in thwarting them. And thanks to Scott's father, Scott keeps his shotgun nearby just in case.

"Twice Dead" is a fun little ghost story with a couple of neat little twists. It is also horrendously lit and, occasionally, laughably acted. The outside shots of the mansion and a silly Camaro-and-hearse chase are flatly lit. The scenes inside the mansion are controlled with a good use of shadows and mirror shots.

In terms of casting, laughable can only begin to describe Todd Bridges as Pete, Scott's library buddy - you'd think he was still stuck in "Different Strokes" mode. Tom Bresnahan and Jill Whitlow have too much chemistry to be siblings - the writers should have made them a teen couple rather than blood-related. Still, those enamored with Jill Whitlow and her cute voice will pine for her in this movie.

"Twice Dead" is nothing special nor will it be remembered as anything other than a Roger-Corman-produced campy horror flick. Those of you nostalgic for Charlie Spradling's breasts; some gory killings by methods including a dumb waiter and motorcycle; cheesy hair metal songs; Brooke Bundy as a caring mother and wife (unlike her mother role in "Nightmare on Elm Street 4"), and those of you still carrying your 80's teenage crush on Jill Whitlow who is at her perkiest here (aside from "Night of the Creeps"), "Twice Dead" fits the bill for an evening of minor thrills, some scares and a few laughs.

I dee endo

BEST FRIENDS (1982)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

One of the pleasures of Burt Reynolds is his complete confidence as a romantic leading man, and his underrated ability to deliver nuanced comic lines and adult emotions that go beyond "Cannonball Run." That is also one of the intrinsic pleasures of Norman Jewison's "Best Friends," a sophisticated adult film about a grown-up relationship between two adults and the messiness of marriage in its inception.

Burt Reynolds and Goldie Hawn play a couple of Hollywood screenwriters, Richard and Paula, who are lovers and live together in a cozy house, not some glorious mansion thank goodness. One day, they decide that since they are moving in to a new house, they may as well get married. Richard and Paula attend a chapel in L.A. where everyone speaks Spanish. Why? Perhaps because it gives Richard Libertini the opportunity to speak as the Hispanic minister and give the funniest line in the film, "I dee endo."

Richard and Paula decide to travel by train to make the announcement to their parents. They make their first stop in the icy cold Buffalo, NY, where they meet Paula's parents (wonderfully played by Jessica Tandy and Barnard Hughes). Paula's parents have a mutual understanding about their marriage, now that they are celebrating their 40th anniversary. It turns out that Tandy accepts her husband's inclination to masturbate in their bathroom to some porn mags, and to fondle their maid.

Next stop is Virginia where the couple meet Richard's parents. The mother (Audra Lindley) takes pictures at the most inopportune moments, whereas the father (Kennan Wynn) is set in his ways. Both are incredulous that the couple got married and are told about it after the fact.

Most of "Best Friends" has Richard and Paula fighting, bickering and arguing, particularly when they are trying to finish some sort of screenplay that is supposed to have a final shot of a fake sunset. He tries to calm her down by having her ingest Valiums. She wants space and doesn't want to be limited or restricted to being simply a wife. Their marriage changes things, as opposed to being the lovey-dovey couple we see at the beginning.

"Best Friends" is a grown-up movie, saddled with reality and ambiguity about relationships and the friction that can ensue. Though there are some laughs, this is more of a serious treatment of a relationship gone sour. Burt Reynolds has never been more understated. Goldie is past her "Cactus Flower" days - she handles her character's unnerving mood swings better than Meryl Streep might have. Having reliable pros like Jessica Tandy, Barnard Hughes, Audra Lindley and Keenan Wynn is the icing on the cake, complementing what a long, lived-in marriage entails. "Best Friends" is a winning delight on every level.