Africa Screams at the unfortunate Quatermain sequel

ALLAN QUATERMAIN AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD (1986)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It is funny that the trailer for this sequel to "King Solomon's Mines" had more action than the actual movie. I recall a moment in the trailer when Allan Quatermain (Richard Chamberlain) uses a bullwhip of some sort (nowhere to be found in the actual movie). I also recall some sort of wooden cage suspended on wires where Allan engages in some gunfight (also shown on the advertising poster, again nowhere to be found in the actual movie. The wooden cage is fleetingly seen in one shot). Whereas "King Solomon's Mines" at least had some action scenes with a little spin and an ounce of wit, this hastily patched-together sequel (reportedly shot simultaneously with the original) only gives Indiana Jones rip-offs a bad name.

This time, Allan Quatermain is in Africa on the search for his brother, who is hiding out in some sort of New Age temple looking for a white tribe. Along for the ride is returnee Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone), who only wants to get married and go back to America. There is also James Earl Jones on hand as Allan's sidekick, and a ridiculous villain with a bad hairdo played by Henry Silva. And to make matters worse, all Quatermain has to do to get a villainess to drop from an abyss is to simply...well, I would not dream of giving away the stupidity of the joke.

Though "King Solomon's Mines" was a poor man's Indiana Jones (and absolutely had nothing to do with H.Rider Haggard), it had the advantage of instilling a silly, parodic tone that gave it some leverage. This sequel is as shopworn as they come, and as adventure movies go, it is simply the most witless, least exciting one ever made.

Eddie Murphy sews his mouth shut

A THOUSAND WORDS (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When Eddie Murphy lets loose like a raging motormouth with words spoken at roughly 100 words a minute, he is unparalleled in his quick, caffeinated energy. Murphy also has the presence of a real actor, able to say much without actually speaking. The list of quiet, restrained moments in his ouevre are numerous. "A Thousand Words" has a great comic premise - each time Murphy speaks, a leaf falls from a tree and when they all shed, he dies. But this movie is one of those cases where Murphy strains too hard to keep up the momentum and that is thanks to a screenplay that doesn't play fair with the rules.

Murphy is Jack McCall, a greedy literary agent who has no time to wait in line at Starbucks for a coffee (he feigns a call about his wife in labor with twins). At work, he treats his assistant with minor meanness (let's say it is hardly a tenth of what Kevin Spacey's truly vile character did in "Swimming with Sharks"). Jack is married to Caroline (Kerry Washington) and they have a son together - she wants to move to a bigger house that doesn't resemble a bachelor pad.

Meanwhile, Jack decides to publish and make a mint out of an Indian guru's book that is only five pages long. Sensing a lack of spirituality in Jack, I had initially thought that the guru planted a bodhi tree in Jack's backyard, hence the main plot about each leaf dropping after every word is said by Jack. Apparently not. The tree just emerges from the ground and the guru has no idea how it happened. Eh. And Jack can't even write anything down because a leaf will fall out of the tree after every word that is written. Double eh. See what I mean by unfair? And to complicate matters, Jack can't form a single sentence, and why not? He has 1000 words at his disposal - can't he chuck 500 words out and make his wife believe that he loves her, especially during an S&M tryst at a hotel? She begs him to tell her his true feelings and he can't or won't - that just tries my patience.

I did not hate "A Thousand Words" unlike the critics who had a field day with it. For my Eddie Murphy experiences (exempting "Pluto Nash" which I never had the pleasure), "Best Defense" is possibly his worst and "Harlem Nights," his most savagely unfunny. This movie never fully exploits its premise and never goes the extra mile. In short, it doesn't give Murphy much of a chance to shine. "A Thousand Words" is yet another movie about a soulless, greedy, spiritually bankrupt guy who discovers money isn't everything and family is all he needs. However, Jack is hardly that greedy or that soulless, and he doesn't seem like a bad guy before all the madness sets in. Jack is a nice guy with some issues. Is that what we expect from an Eddie Murphy movie nowadays?

Go easy on this Oz tale

THE WIZ (1978)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I've come across very few people who had any positive feelings towards Sidney Lumet's "The Wiz." L. Frank Baum's novel has been transposed to late 1970's New York City with a suitably urban theme and lots of elaborate disco-type musical numbers and a thirty-something Diana Ross as a 24-year-old Dorothy who happens to be a Harlem schoolteacher. Yeah, it lacks the whimsy of the 1939 classic but it has its own infectious rhythms and its own slant on perhaps the most famous fantasy of all time. It dares to be different and that is a plus.

In this unique version of "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy runs after her dog, Toto, in a blizzard where a tornado happens to cross her path. She ends up in Oz except it is New York City yet strangely underpopulated and flashier. The Scarecrow (Michael Jackson) is teased by vultures. The Cowardly Lion (Ted Ross) is at first a statue outside the New York Public Library. The Tin Man (Nipsy Russell) just needs a heart. Oz the Powerful (Richard Pryor) lives in one of the top floors of the World Trade Center/Emerald City that has its own TV media crew direct from the Oz channel. The flying monkeys are now revolting creatures that ride on motorcycles. Garbage cans come alive with snapping jaws. Lena Horne has a wonderfully magic moment as Glinda the Good. And there is Evil Evillene (Mabel King) who is royally pissed that her sister was killed by Dorothy, accidental or not.

"The Wiz" was one of the last films to have a completely black cast after the blaxploitation era, at least for a while. The film was a financial and critical disaster and it also marked Diana Ross's last role in a film. What a shame. It doesn't hold a candle to its 1939 counterpart but 'The Wiz" is far from being the dreary experience that critics claimed it was. It is upbeat in tone and contains its share of dazzling musical sequences and resplendent stage design and visual effects. Of course, my favorite number would be "Ease on Down the Road" with Michael Jackson pulling out all the stops in a musical performance that is probably the most memorable and uplifting. I also love the graffiti people that come out of the walls and do a number, or the rotating colorful outfits of the dancers in Emerald City. There is also a rousing number by Mabel King as she sings "Don't Nobody Bring Me No Bad News."

"The Wiz" is perfectly fitting and admirable entertainment but it does have its snail-paced moments that threaten the overall musical's jagged rhythms. At 2 hours and 13 minutes, the movie does wear out its welcome especially after Pryor's appearance where he looks a little too withdrawn (compared to Frank Morgan's Oz in the original, I wonder who is more depressed in this movie, Oz or Dorothy?) Diana Ross, however, is engaging throughout (who sadly only appeared in a couple of TV movies since), appearing rather unglamorous that suits her role as an innocent who is astounded by this new world that mirrors her own. I did miss the significance of the opening scenes where she is clearly unhappy. We understood the reasons behind Judy Garland's Dorothy in the bare wasteland of sepia-toned Kansas, the kidnapping of her dog, etc. But we miss any understanding of this Dorothy's sorrow from the beginning - she finds herself at the end by clicking on her heels and heading home. But does she want to be there? Or does she miss being south of 125th street?

I still hope "The Wiz" can have a renewed lease in light of the rekindled interest of musicals in general. Who wouldn't want to ease on down the road again?

Merida could be a fitting Katniss Everdeen ally

BRAVE (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Brave" is one of the most pleasurable, romantic and charming Disney films I've seen in quite some time. I'll go further - it is a sumptuous fantasy with a heroine we can root for and believe in. Sound hokey to cynics out there? Read further.

Merida (voiced by Kelly McDonald) is a long curly-red-haired girl who is also an expert archer. She is daughter of the strict Queen Elinor (Emma Thompson) and the carefree and boisterous King Fergus (voiced by Billy Connolly) who both hope to have their feisty daughter married to a prospective suitor from one of the clans of Macintosh, MacGuffin and Dingwall. An archery contest will prove who can hit the bullseye and marry Merida but Merida will have none of that. She is a free spirit who wants to follow her heart's desire. Merida loves to ride horses, shoot arrows, and watch the waterfalls.

She doesn't see eye to eye with her mother - so much so that Merida visits a witch and puts a spell on her mother to persuade her to not force her daughter into marriage. Queen Elinor has become a bear (not quite what Merida had in mind) and King Fergus (who had lost his leg while fighting a bear) is ready for another confrontation, unaware his wife is an oversized animal.

The film had me entranced from its beautifully orchestrated opening shot of the Scottish Highlands - it is so richly detailed and so intoxicating to watch that Pixar outdoes itself. The animation is amazingly gorgeous, from the lush greens of the countryside to the cascading rivers, to the foggy forest where will-o'-the-wisps reside in bluish disappearing streaks, to the scary bears and scarier-looking crones. Of course, as always, all this would make a sweet empty visual treat if not for the characters who are believable and come alive in bewitching ways.

Merida is full of sass, as is her father. The mother learns to see that her daughter is more worthy and brave than she had thought. One scene in particular has Elinor as the bear witnessing how her daughter makes the warring clans see how marriage should not be arranged and seeks to break an ancient tradition - it is a cliched moment to be sure but it is given a touch of humor (Elinor uses charades to guide her daughter) and depicts an emotional truth in Merida.

"Brave" is Pixar's first fairy tale and uses elements of Hans Christian Andersen and Brothers Grimm to tell its story (it is also Pixar's first attempt to have a female lead headlining their movie). Some critics found the plot underwhelming but it had me hooked, though I wasn't surprised by how it ended - the quixotic journey of getting there is what makes it so transfixing. "Brave" has got magic, fantasy, a stunning conclusion, some terrific gags involving Merida's younger, pie-loving brothers, and a brave heroine whom I won't soon forget - she has as much pluck and determination as Katniss Everdeen from "The Hunger Games." More young female types like this should be encouraged. "Brave" is perfect entertainment for kids and adults without a false moment in its 93-minute running time. Bravo!

A Banal Risk

GENUINE RISK (1990)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Genuine Risk" is a train wreck of a film, dependent on implausible coincidences and rampant gunfire than on building the mood of a genuine film noir. The opening has that promise and, for a while, we lurch along noir tropes such as the typical femme fatale, the screwed-up antihero who needs a job, the threatening big boss, and so on. But the filmmakers then decide to chuck it all to the demands of an overwrought melodrama. To end a noir picture with a car chase is to underestimate the audience.

There is the gambler and petty thief, Henry (Peter Berg) who always bets big and always loses. He lives in a small apartment above the town bar in Anywhere, USA. One night while playing pool, Henry sets his eyes on a mysterious woman (Michelle Johnson), simply known in the credits as the Girl, seen sitting at the bar (the kind of low-rent bar where a glamorous woman has no place). He asks her to his room for a free drink, and they almost have sex until her beeper sounds off. Henry has a beeper as well when he is offered by his childhood friend, Cowboy Jack (M.K. Harris), a job with the mob kingpin Paul Hellwart (Terence Stamp). Henry doesn't want the job, knowing it involves violence, but he takes it anyway. Eventually, we are privy to a bloody shootout, a fistfight involving a jockey, more sex, more bloody shootouts, etc.

The overall effect is not nauseating since the violence is punctual and explosive, but what is the point? Same with the sex scenes - Peter Berg and Michelle Johnson are attractive looking but they are barely believable as a pair of lovers. There is no real tension or sense of peril since the Girl and Hellwart's intentions are never clear - she is Hellwart's moll and carries a beeper and that is all we learn about her. As for Hellwart, we just learn he is mean, abusive and a former 60's British pop star! This thin material is written by Kurt Voss (who also directed), who wrote a similarly wafer-thin noir called "Delusion."

Most of "Genuine Risk" is superficial and glossy yet Terence Stamp rises above the material as the icy Hellwart. He has a great line about women and racetracks: "A racetrack is like a woman...a man weathers so much banality in pursuit of the occasional orgasmic moment." A great line in a movie full of cliched, banal line readings, uni-dimensional characters and the occasional orgasmic moment.

Enid sees ghosts

GHOST WORLD (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
One of the ten best films of the 2000 decade

(Original review from August, 2001)

It is rare to see a film that transports and moves me in such a way as to be breathtaking. A film that leaves me so ecstatic and excited by cinema all over again - a sublime experience in an era of dumbed-down, mediocre pictures. For the 1980's, "The Breakfast Club" was the ultimate statement about teenagers in high school. For the 1990's teen way of life, perhaps something like "American Beauty" stands as definitive about how teenagers think and talk nowadays (unless you prefer "American Pie"). But a defining statement of the world today is clearly felt in "Ghost World," an unparalleled masterpiece of pop culture attitudes and more specifically, teenage alienation and discomfort in an era of Internet hype and media hogwash. I was planning on seeing Kevin Smith's latest the following day but I just couldn't. After seeing "Ghost World," you may not want to see anything else for a few days since it gets under your skin so thoroughly that you will feel compelled to buy the graphic novel from which the film is based on or listen to the soundtrack or both. It is that good.

Based on the comic book by Daniel Clownes, "Ghost World" is a bleak view of America today in an suburban town where 50's retro diners coexist with politically correct art teachers. It is also a world of lonely, miserable people who can't help being where they are in their station in life. Enid (Thora Birch) is the offbeat, downbeat, ironic, contradictory, sarcastic teenager who has just graduated from high school. Her best friend, Rebecca (Scarlett Johansson), has also graduated and is relieved. Their relief does not translate to collegiate futures - they have their own plans. Enid and Rebecca plan to work full-time jobs and rent an apartment and basically make ironic statements on people who surround their field of vision. Enid not only spouts ironic commentary, she lives by it. She hates any and everything except for her friend Rebecca. She sees a bald man and his wife at a cafe and immediately suspects they are Satanists. Both Enid and Rebecca decide to spend their time gazing and talking. One day, Enid responds to a personal ad where some guy had seen a blonde and felt they shared something special. Enid pretends to be the blonde and calls for a date. The guy, Seymour (Steve Buscemi), comes to one of those 50's retro diners to meet the blonde, who is of course not present. But something curious happens - Enid follows Seymour around and begins to like the fact that he is representative of everything she doesn't hate. He is a dork in her estimation but he also loves to collect 78 rpm records of old blues singers. More importantly, Enid can relate to Seymour's loneliness.

Enid's home life is not pretty. Her father (Bob Balaban) eats jelly with relish and dates a woman she hates. He does try to support his daughter but she is unresponsive and selfish. Enid lives in her own fantasy world of irony and of dancing to Indian music - she does not see that she alienates people by hiding or being cleverly ironic. After alienating even Rebecca and Seymour, Enid feels lost - a lost soul in search of her inner self. "I don't know what I am doing," says Enid at one point and that statement sums up her life. If Enid hates any and everything and can't commit to a job, then where is her station in life? Can it be with the summer art class where she has to contend with a politically correct art teacher? Can it be the old man who waits for a bus that never comes? Who can Enid relate to now if she can't hold on to her own friends?

"Ghost World" is not likely to appeal to the same teenagers who love "American Pie" and its score of imitations. After all, Enid's preoccupation in life is not sex - she would like to belong to something but she is too honest in this media age to belong to anything she doesn't already despise. The same is true of Seymour who is offended by shouting radio deejays and modern blues songs. He may feel that times are better but he is still rooted in the past, particularly with offensive minstrel ads and old blues songs. But he is a loner too and despises society yet works for a corporation to support himself and his collection of 78's.

Thora Birch encapsulates the modern alienated and alienating teenager perfectly in Enid. She is a wonder to watch as she unfurls her commentary on screen with winking nuances and explosive fierceness, always wearing horn-rimmed glasses. Look at the scene in a zine shop where she dresses up in original punk rock clothes, combat boots and green hair and claims her fashion statement as irony - none of the clerks in the store see it that way. Birch screams, crackles, hollers, whispers, laughs and cries and she is sarcastic, not to mention touching in her weaker states where she starts to lose what she had. It is a brave, risky performance by Birch that embellishes the promise she showed in "American Beauty."

Also noteworthy is Scarlett Johansson as Rebecca, also ironic in her own way but also looking ahead in the future - she does not wish to stay in the same town forever. Her dry, low monotone voice is in direct contrast to Birch's occasionally high-pitched delivery. Johansson first came to prominence in the sweet film "Manny and Lo" and here, she is maturing into a fine actress.

Finally, there is Steve Buscemi in one of his best roles as the lonesome Seymour. He connects with Enid but also wants to move on in his own station in life. The tragedy of his character is that he can't despite trying to. Buscemi is as restrained as ever and gives measured poignancy to Seymour's downfall.

"Ghost World" is directed by Terry Zwigoff, who helmed the fabulous, disturbing documentary "Crumb" a few years go (there's even a nod to Crumb's rock band). This is Zwigoff's first non-documentary film and it is a great, poetic masterwork - his restraint and static camera style are perfect for the observations of this ghostly world as seen through Enid's eyes. And the ambiguous ending will haunt you for days as to where Enid's future lies. It is as moving and poetic as any film you will see this year.

Eric Binford fades from memory

FADE TO BLACK (1980)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2002)

A scrawny, unlikable weakling is an unlikely character lead in a movie but "Fade to Black" is one of those low-budget stinkers that tries a little too hard to be clever and ends up delivering nada in return.

Dennis Christopher ("Breaking Away") is the unlikable, scrawny weakling, Eric Binford, who loves movies more than life itself. He believes movies are life and among his favorites are "White Heat," "Kiss of Death" and anything with Marilyn Monroe. Eric works at a film studio handling film reels, and does the job badly. Everyone at work hates the kid including his boss. Eric lives at home with his aunt who is in a wheelchair, watches old movies all night and assumes the identities of famous characters in real life. Eric's identity crisis goes a little too far as he begins killing people in various disguises, including Count Dracula, Hopalong Cassidy, the Mummy, and so on. Meanwhile, a coke-sniffing psychiatrist (laughably played by Tim Thomerson) feels that the kid is a victim of society and can be helped. This conceit is nothing new and very popular nowadays in light of recent crime cases involving Colombine high school and John Grisham's uncle killed by hallucinating teens inspired by "Natural Born Killers ," but I digress.

"Fade to Black" has a terrific idea defeated by the most unlikable, unpleasant characters to surface in a movie in a long time. No one emits the slightest care in the world about anything and that makes it harder to care about them. Even Eric's aunt is unsympathetic and loud. Only Linda Kerridge as a Marilyn Monroe lookalike who takes a liking to Eric is borderline normal, but what does she find appealing in Eric?

The filmmaking is amateurish and the cinematography is badly photographed to the point where scenes are so dark that I had trouble figuring what was happening. I am assuming the filmmakers were aiming for a realistic documentary look in the style of George Romero's "Martin" but it hardly meshes with the underdeveloped story and characters. A climax at a movie theater is as ludicrous and laughable a climax as I have seen in a long time, and I thought "Dracula vs. Frankenstein" was bad.

"Fade to Black" seems to have been made for people who hate movies. In that spirit, it fades from memory long before it is over.

Footnote: Look for an early appearance by Mickey Rourke as a studio employee who knows everything about "Casablanca" except the full name of Humphrey Bogart's character.