Some Freakin' White Punk

S.F.W. (1994)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"S.F.W." is a movie that pretends to be important, that pretends to have something to say. It does not, thereby qualifying it as a pretentiously shallow movie whose message is the title of the film. So Freaking What?

I would love to end the review there but why should I? This generic Generation-X wannabe focuses on the most insidiously moronic and foolishly empty-headed hooligan in many moons. His name is Cliff Spab (Stephen Dorff) and he is something of a cultural hero. He has killed some terrorists in a convenience store where he and a teenage girl named Wendy (Reese Witherspoon) have been held hostage. Cliff's best friend was killed by these masked terrorists, dressed in white, who videotape the entire 36 day ordeal. When Cliff and Wendy escape, they are branded heroes, particularly after the video footage is aired in every news channel. Why is Cliff so popular? Because he repeats the titled catchphrase that becomes some sort of mantra. Wow. And why is Wendy always giving interviews? Because she knew Cliff and might have fallen for him. Intriguing, for the moment.

I wish I could say there was more to "S.F.W." but that is basically it. The movie has no level of satire whatsoever since it has prime targets that deserve skewering, like the media's relentless coverage of the hostage situation or the public's adoration of this new alleged culture hero. It doesn't contain any level of human interest in Cliff Spab - he is an uncultured idiot who mostly drinks beer, has sex, watches TV, and loves to trash his bedroom. How punk! Dorff tries to give the character some dimension, especially when he stares at a TV screen and sees the violence shown from the videotaped hostage events. It looks like it may traumatize him but Dorff and director and co-writer Jefery Levy indulge in a vacuum of nothingness. They assume that the catchphrase is the movie. Yes, indeed, and so f'ing what!

The Griswolds storm Wally World

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION (1983)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

(30 YEARS OF THE GRISWOLDS)

I usually scoff at anything with the title "National Lampoon," but I have a certain kind of affection for "Vacation," the hilarious 1983 comedy with Chevy Chase. It is a classic comedy in that its raunchiness and absurdity reaches levels of cartoonishness. Besides, Chase, in his better days, proved he was the funniest bloke on the block.

Chase is Clark Griswold, a family man with two kids, Rusty and Audrey (Anthony Michael Hall and Dana Barron) and a buxom wife, Helen (Beverly D'Angelo). They live in typical suburbia and a vacation is planned to Walley World, an amusement park on the level of a Disney theme park. Disaster is on the fringes of this road trip by station wagon, however, as one obstacle is hurled in front of them after another. The Griswold clan first visit Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) only to discover they need to take the dreaded Aunt Edna along (played by Imogene Coca). Money grows tight as they try to stay in a hotel, until Clark takes all the money from the register and runs. They crash their station wagon in the middle of the desert while Clark looks for the nearest gas station. They end up in a dangerous part of some city where their hubcaps are stolen. A flirtatious woman (Christine Brinkley) tries to get Clark to go swimming with her in the nude. And when they finally arrive at Walley World...let's just say it meets short of their expectations.

Watching "Vacation" will depend highly on your tolerance for Chevy Chase. I laughed out loud in a restaurant scene where Chase hits his head on an overhead lamp - this is much funnier than seeing Chase literally shoot himself in the foot in the wretched "Deal of the Century." There is an enjoyable shot of Clark and Helen looking at the awesome Grand Canyon for no less than two seconds. And there is nothing more hysterical than seeing Clark trying to talk to his son about adultery and other matters. And the ultimate gag, which may be a wee bit too black-humored for some, concerns Aunt Edna's denouement. I may add that Clark's indifference to Edna's situation may strike some as far too callous, even for a comedy.

"Vacation" is not one of the great comedies of all time, but it has occasionally high spirits and the Griswold family is as likable as they come. Just don't ever go on vacation with them.

Desperately Seeking Clouseau

CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I could live with "Trail of the Pink Panther" despite its incongruous and slim story - a film ultimately more of a tribute to Peter Sellers than an actual film with a plot. "Curse of the Pink Panther" was filmed immediately after "Trail" and it shows an increased desperation by director Blake Edwards to milk the franchise far beyond anything imaginable, especially without the needed presence of Peter Sellers.

The plot deals with the disappearance of the Pink Panther diamond, an object sought over the course of two decades of this D.O.A. franchise. Ted Wass is on hand as a clumsy New York police detective (selected from a computer - how very early 80's) named Sgt. Sleigh (as in One-Horse Open, the best comic line the writers could think of). He is selected to find Chief Inspector Clouseau, who is either dead or living with a Countess (played by the bewitching Joanna Lumley, who played the unnecessary reporter in "Trail"). Assassins are trying to kill Sleigh in case he finds Clouseau. Hijinks ensue with Wass filling in for Sellers' pratfalls and slapstick. Burt Kwouk reappears as Cato, as a reminder of how good this series once was. David Niven, the master of polite restraint (with his ailing voice replaced by impressionist Rich Little), is also on hand along with Capucine and Robert Wagner. The series' regulars merely have an extended cameo and it is a shame that Edwards did not use these actors to spice up the proceedings overall. Reliable Herbert Lom as Chief Inspector Dreyfus is hysterical as always.

"Curse of the Pink Panther" is technically well-done and has a few gags that work (love Ed Parker as he does a karate demonstration with a huge rock or the rainstorm that sweeps Sleigh off his feet). The final scenes are also funny with a surprise cameo but, unfortunately, it is Ted Wass who brings down the film to the level of cumbersome mediocrity. He is not even close to replicating Sellers' comic timing or finely tuned pratfalls - Wass comes across as a village idiot who pretends to be clumsy. Sellers made it work because he was believably clumsy and justified his every move. It is something that the actor who plays Clouseau at the end understands better than Blake Edwards or anyone else associated with this needless continuation. 

Depp deep undercover, Pacino in Wily Loman phase

DONNIE BRASCO (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Original review from 1997 screening)

Ever since "GoodFellas" burst into movie screens in 1990, there has been a renaissance of gangster pictures. The difference between the gangsters now and the gangsters from the cinema of the 1930's is the reality - the overwhelming verisimilitude of the scenario. We just don't see gangster plotting to kill others - we also see their family lives, their inner circles and their outbursts of violence, sometimes involving hacksaws and other gory methods. Some of these stories are based on actual events. To date, the best recent gangster pictures are Scorsese's ultra-realistic "GoodFellas" and "Casino" and De Palma's ferocious "The Untouchables." For more family-oriented, ethically acceptable gangsters crossed with a fascinating look at racial relations, you can look at Robert De Niro's directorial debut, "A Bronx Tale." Count "Donnie Brasco" among the best of the batch - a funny, brutal, galvanizingly emotional portrait of a man who risks everything just to join the mob. Never mind that this man is a cop.

Johnny Depp plays the real-life cop, Joseph Pistone, who went undercover in the mob in order to infiltrate them. His job was to have lasted 3 to 6 months - he went on for two years! Pistone assumes the name Donnie Brasco, a jeweler who can help Lefty (Al Pacino), an older man who wears gold-tinted sunglasses and works for Sonny Black (Michael Madsen), to determine if a diamond is a "fulgesi" or not. This mob group is at a lower chain on the Mafia meter, closer to the guys in "Mean Streets" than in "The Godfather." They wait in the streets in the freezing cold of Brooklyn for the chief mob boss. Some of them try to take anything they can for money, including the removal of parking meters!

Donnie is in this dangerous world almost immediately, thanks to Lefty who vouches for him. Lefty teaches Donnie the rules, like shaving his mustache, how wearing cowboy boots and jeans is a no-no, how to carry money (never put it in the wallet), never pay for drinks, and so on. Donnie is so involved that he fools everyone, especially after beating up a Japanese waiter for being forced to remove his boots. Eventually, after Sonny Black moves up in the ranks, more money is owed to Sonny Red (the chief boss is in jail, if I understood correctly). So Donnie brings up an idea of making money at a nightclub in Florida. They all agree, though Lefty has reservations. But Donnie is so deep in the Mafia life that he ignores his wife (Anne Heche) and three daughters - he only visits them when it is convenient.

"Donnie Brasco" avoid all the cliches and conventional trappings of most mob movies. The film, as written by Paul Attanasio, does not pussyfoot around Donnie's own safety in this organization or his downward spiral about becoming the very thing he is working against. Most films would show Donnie to be so banal and charmless and righteous that it would hardly strike a chord of truth. Johnny Depp shows this character inside and out, revealing layers such as his growing violent behavior (especially to his wife) and his incessant need to curse. And his vulnerability is also evoked as he develops a mutual friendship with Lefty - if Donnie leaves Lefty and is exposed, Lefty could be whacked for having vouched for an FBI agent.

Al Pacino plays Lefty as a weary, joyless man who has 26 hits under his belt and more experience than anyone in his crew, yet he is still working for someone else. Lefty is like the Wily Loman of Mafia types, and we grow to sympathize with a man who would love to leave the life and settle down with his girlfriend. Still, he hopes to make more money and Donnie could be the key to wealth - both men have a downward spiral to endure that is touching and intensifying to watch.

As directed with refreshing restraint and observational details by Brit Mike Newell, "Donnie Brasco" is one hell of a motion picture. It is explosive, humane, blackly funny and filled with some of the best written dialogue in eons. This is not the world of dynamic energy and profane violence of "GoodFellas" (though there is one scene that is not meant for the squeamish). Instead, it is really about friendship and trust, even if one of those is violated. Pacino's last scene, showing Lefty leaving his life behind him and his recognition of a deeper truth, is unforgettable. "Donnie Brasco" is about as great as a Hollywood movie can get.

An 'uninspired' Sellers trail

TRAIL OF THE PINK PANTHER (1982)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It is a shame that Peter Sellers passed away before he made any more Pink Panther films. Something tells me he would not have approved of a collection of deleted scenes from an early Pink Panther flick to justify a new sequel. His presence is missing in virtually half of the film, and the other half is hilarious and vintage Sellers but also feels incongruous.

The first 40 minutes of the film have Sellers as the inept, clumsy Inspector Clouseau as he tries on various nose and hair disguises, fools around with a hotel phone where a cleaning woman keeps knocking him out the window that leaves him dangling with the phone cord (easily the funniest scene in the film), an airplane bathroom sequence where he pretends to have a broken leg and can't quite sit in the tiny toilet, and many more clever, physical comedy scenes with the one and only Burt Kwouk as Cato, Clouseau's servant (most of which are deleted scenes from "The Pink Panther Strikes Again").

The rest of the film loses steam and laughs when Joanna Lumley (from the hysterical "Absolutely Fabulous") appears as a TV reporter who wants to find out the truth about Clouseau's disappearance, who is rumored to have been assassinated. She interviews everyone that ever knew Clouseau, including Clouseau's arch-nemesis Chief Inspector Dreyfus (Herbert Lom, the second best thing about this movie). When Dreyfus can't contain himself from laughing about Clouseau's supposed brilliance in question by the reporter, the movie gets the right idea about using a well-known character from the series and exploiting it for all it is worth. When Robert Loggia, David Niven, Capucine and other series regulars appear, the film falls flat on its face since they have been misdirected to be serious. Big mistake! Same with the unfortunately dull, interminable sequence with Robert Mulligan as Clouseau's father - it is so flat and monotonous, you begin to wonder if a clone of the director Blake Edwards was on the set.

First half of "Trail of the Pink Panther" is classic. Second half loses momentum and fails to engage the viewer. Director Blake Edwards could have shot for the moon and had Herbert Lom take over the second half because Lom's moments are priceless and he has exceptionally good comic timing and a boisterous physical presence. Do away with all the interview nonsense (which do include some choice clips from earlier Panther films) and you would have had comic gold that even Sellers would've been proud of.

Loving God more than Elvis

GOD IS THE BIGGER ELVIS (2012)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

I always wondered what happened to Dolores Hart. She had a brief acting career that lasted six years, starring along side Elvis Presley in "Loving You" (where she had her first onscreen kiss) as well as working with other distinguished actors such as Anthony Quinn and Montgomery Clift. Dolores quit the business and fulfilled a higher calling she had ignored once already - she became a Benedictine nun at The Abbey of Regina Laudis in Bethlehem, Conn. "God is the Bigger Elvis" attempts to enlighten us on that transition but it never quite does.

Dolores was a Hollywood starlet and a fine actress, so what was this higher calling to Jesus? Hard to say because all she can say is she wanted to devote her life to God. Other nuns at the abbey speak of "making love to God" - something which I cannot quite comprehend. The rituals of the abbey are fascinating - the nuns cannot talk to each other while eating a meal and observations of silence and prayer are daily. But this documentary never probes Dolores' reasons for making such a startling change in her life - stripping herself of individuality and connecting to God in a remote (and beautiful) area of Connecticut. The other nuns speak of the same calling, as if escaping from modern society makes one, more pure of heart?

Most startling is Dolores, or should I say Mother Prioress Dolores Hart, and her meeting with another devoted Catholic, Don Robinson, an architect who was engaged to marry Dolores before she became a nun. It is a tough, emotional reunion, or so we think until he tells us that he has been visiting the abbey once every year since she joined. What is even sadder is that he never married despite dating several women, and still aches for her love. After their meeting, she walks away in tears. It is hard to know if she is unsure she made the right choice or sees a life she never had- those tears say so much and yet so little.

As a short introduction to Dolores Hart and her way of life, "God is the Bigger Elvis" is beguiling and fascinating. But no tough questions are asked, and the answers are only implied. Her silence can speak volumes, her love of God says much about her vocation but precious little about her as an individual apart from her union with God.

Tuskegee Airmen, Episode I?

RED TAILS (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Producer George Lucas has spoken for several years about making smaller, more artistic films after the last "Star Wars" film, Episode III to be precise. That was ten years ago. Since then, he supervised the "Star Wars: Clone Wars" animated series and feature film, a fourth Indiana Jones film and then he retired. Or did he? Nope, he is back in Star Wars land with an upcoming Episode VII. So much for retirement. Sandwiched in between animated Star Wars and live Star Wars was a passion pet project of his about the Tuskegee Airmen called "Red Tails." The only problem is that rather than dramatizing these brave heroes of WW II, the movie reduces everything they stood for to the level of a far too simple-minded comic book.

The Tuskegee Airmen were the African-American pilots of the United States Army Air Forces (the 332d Fighter Group) who had the dubious task of circling the air in zones where no Nazis were to be found. Of course, in the opening sequence, the Tuskegee Airmen spot a Nazi-occupied train and blast away with tremendous glee, destroying the train and its armaments in glorious fashion. The top brass at the Pentagon do not want to engage these pilots in fighting the Nazis - white pilots will do because blacks are not seen as equal. Meanwhile, a mission is fast approaching that will require the 332d, with the stipulation that they will assist and protect the Allied landings at Anzio, Italy without actually engaging the enemy. Naturally, orders are not followed as the Tuskegee Airmen destroy an entire German airfield, once again in glorious fashion. I question the movie's authenticity in the air pilots' behavior, specifically their insatiable need for violently shooting down the enemy. I went along with it but I don't know how many people will believe it.

"Red Tails" has some superb special-effects in detailing how these planes fly in formation and shoot to kill. Most of the effects, however, look like effects and part of the blame must go to the undernourished characters. Squadron leader "Easy" Julian (Nate Parker), a heavy drinker, has Denzel Washington's cool factor but little personality. Same with  Joe "Lightning" Little (David Oyelowo), who develops a romance with an Italian woman whom he first meets when he waves to her while flying (only in the movies). These two characters are supposed to lend a little substance to the proceedings but they exist as cliches you have seen a million times before (It is hard to muster any enthusiasm for cliched pilots in cliched situations, especially an escape from a German fortress from one pilot that leaves a lot to be desired). Terrence Howard is the colonel who fights for these men to be taken seriously - you wish you saw more of him in the movie. Same with Cuba Gooding Jr. as a major who mostly nods and stares at his men -  why leave this actor out in the cold?

"Red Tails" is wrapped in nobility and various cliches. I am fine with seeing a movie about the Tuskegees crossed with a John Wayne bravado but this mediocre movie is a snoozer with vapid characters who do not make us care for their plight except in the most arbitrary sense. These historic, brave men deserve something more. And I do expect a lot more from George Lucas.