Barnabas Collins returns to a drab manor

DARK SHADOWS (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Perhaps it is high time that director Tim Burton abandon his gray misty-skies, Universal Monster backlot crossed with "Nightmare Before Christmas" atmosphere that he has only rarely abandoned ("Big Fish" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" seemed to have a more crisp Burton flair for the erratic and the unknown with a different palette of colors than anything of late). "Dark Shadows" is grayish and starkly lit visual porn - it is a sumptuous feast that could only occupy the world of the supernatural and, heck, Tim Burton does it best. As a movie, it also works in spades but it lacks that emotional punch that occupies some of Burton's finest films and it is wildly inconsistent from beginning to end.

Based on the soap opera vampire show of the early 1970's, Johnny Depp is Barnabas Collins, the elegant vampire of Collinswood Manor who was cursed by a devious, sexy and exceedingly menacing witch (Eva Green, in the performance of the movie). 200 years later, Barnabas emerges from a sealed tomb buried next to McDonalds and it is the early 1970's, not the 1700's. Barnabas returns to the manor, which is slowly eroding and a wreck with certains wings closed off, and plans to help the disbelieving Collins family with their once prosperous fishing business. Naturally, there is a competitor, Angelique, who tools around in a crimson red convertible and owns Angel Bay cannery, the stiff competitor for the Collins family.

There are some supporting players in the Collins family. There is the new prim and proper governess named Victoria (Bella Heathcote); Dr. Hoffman, the family shrink (Helena Bonham Carter with an orange hairdo); the family matriarch (Michelle Pfeiffer) and her brother, Brian (a curiously boring Jonny Lee Miller); Elizabeth's rebellious, Donovan Leitch-loving daughter, Carolyn (Chloe Moretz) who wants to run away to Manhattan, and there is the other child of the house, David (Gulliver McGrath), Brian's son.

"Dark Shadows" is lively and fun whenever Barnabas and Angelique torment, fight, discuss and make love to each other. The rest of the cast looks downbeat and rather drab, including Jackie Earle Haley as the manor's handyman. Michelle Pfeiffer can ignite a movie screen with her presence but here, she is misdirected to be so devoid of any tangible characteristics, you'll wonder if her character just had one too many stiff drinks.

The movie loses focus when it seems to center on the governess, then the Collins clan, then Barnabas and so on. Aside from Barnabas and Angelique, there is no character to latch onto, to have even the most remote empathy for. Burton and his writers also have an unwieldy screenplay that plays fast and loose with tone and near satire bordering on soap opera theatrics, and concludes with a finale that blends "Edward Scissorhands" with Burton's own "Batman" version sprinkled with a dose of werewolves, sculptures that are brought to life and a ghost (I do not recall any of this in the TV show of yesteryear but, who knows, my memory might be rusty). What begins as a Jane Austen horror fable turns into a minor monster pic, and then turns the tables into satire territory, before abandoning that completely and becoming a blood-soaked love story of spurned love and back into something else. A watchable picture and often deliciously fun (Johnny Depp is animated and engaging, partly contributing to the fun factor), but also a highly uneven picture.

Once upon a time, when Charlie Sheen crapped the big one

NAVY SEALS (1990)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

So imagine a movie where a group of armed soldiers, experienced in infiltrating terrorists, are called in at the most awkward moment - in the middle of a wedding ceremony. Imagine that one of these armed soldiers is played by Charlie Sheen, who is cocky and a real fighting machine. You can also imagine for the time being that he is aping Tom Cruise in "Top Gun" and that his fighting spirit is a result of endless hours of video game playing. In other words, it is a character far removed from the one Sheen played in Oliver Stone's "Platoon." 

So this cadre of Navy Seals are after Arab terrorists (who appear as generic as you can imagine, particularly in this post-9/11 climate) who possess an arsenal of Stinger missiles. Sounds timely, doesn't it? Imagine Sheen shooting every target and never missing. Also imagine Dennis Haysbert (who has seen better days since) as the only black SEAL who is killed (I don't mean to ruin it for you). Also imagine Bill Paxton appearing as the sharpshooter, along with Michael Biehn as another SEAL who tries to get inside information from a Lebanese journalist (Joanna Whalley-Kilmer, back when she made horrendous bad movies). Oh, lest we not forget that Paxton and Biehn appeared in the first "Terminator" movie. Just a thought that occurred to me while watching this movie.

The real Navy SEALS were formed in 1962 by President Kennedy and trained to be experts in all kinds of killing -- on sea, air or land. That fact alone should have merited a superior, more thought-provoking action picture than this "Rambo" wannabe. Maybe I am sick of these kinds of movies with explosions and bullets whizzing by in all kinds of point-of-view shots. Maybe it was the golfing montage. Or possibly the moment when Charlie Sheen jumps from a moving jeep on a bridge and lands in the water unscathed. If nothing else, mindless comic-book movies like this give comic-book movies a bad name.

Six Degrees of Drew Barrymore

MY DATE WITH DREW (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I suppose many of us have lifelong dreams. For those of us who were teenagers in the 1980's, there were dreams of meeting your favorite movie stars or your favorite rock stars. None of us probably thought much about more productive dreams, like world peace (as one keen observer in this film points out). Yeah, I would have loved to have met America's former sweetheart, Molly Ringwald, but a date with her? Not really. There is a separation from the reality of meeting a movie star and the realization that they are only human after all. "My Date With Drew," a charming documentary, never quite makes that distinction. Still, in "My Date With Drew's" 90-minute length, you'll probably be rooting for the main leading star to get a date with Drew Barrymore.

Essentially, that is what the documentary is about. Brian Herzlinger is an aspiring filmmaker who is fascinated and obsessed with Drew Barrymore. He wanted to meet her when he first saw her in "E.T." Then he joined a Drew fan club, and put up posters of mostly Spielberg films on his bedroom wall (No Barrymore film posters, though, except for "E.T.") Brian is desperate to meet her and, after winning some prize money on a TV contest show where the correct answer happened to be the actress, he decides to film his lifelong dream to meet Drew. Problem is he has 30 days to do it, ostensibly due to returning a video camera he bought at Circuit City which has a 30-day return policy. So Brian gets in physical shape, gets waxed, gets a facial, and even holds auditions for a Drew Barrymore lookalike so he can test a "dream date" scenario. Oh, boy.

Through many obstacles and potential run-ins, well, don't want to ruin it for you but you'll be in suspense. Brian is a charmer and a definite dreamer, but his point in meeting Drew is never made clear. Sure, he is not interested in a romance and clearly he is inspired by her, but the source of his inspiration beyond the fact that it is Drew Barrymore is ambiguous. Perhaps, she was the stepping stone to many of the events of Brian's life, or maybe they are soulmates in a six-degree-of-separation sense. Not much insight is provided in this area and not much criticism of his seemingly stalker proposition - his mother's only criticism is that Drew is a slut.

I liked "My Date with Drew" and I certainly enjoyed watching the immensely likable Brian and his determination. I was reminded of something though. I once saw Gene Hackman sitting on a curb outside the CCA theater in Santa Fe, NM. Everyone knew who he was and I clearly knew it was him. I could've asked for an autograph but I didn't. My feeling is that sometimes movie stars don't want to be bothered. Drew Barrymore may not care but it doesn't mean every movie star is as down-to-earth.

Kubrickian, Lynchian antihero

DONNIE DARKO (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Donnie Darko" is a unique delight - a fast-paced, surreal oddity likely to leave audiences with lots of questions. And to make matters more interesting, it is a teen film, but not quite a romantic comedy or some sex farce with gross-out jokes that have become du jour. This is a thinking man's John Hughes picture crossed with the cleverness of something like "Back to the Future" and with enough preternatural events and sequences to remind us of David Lynch.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Donnie Darko, a high-school teenager with mental problems and a supposedly schizophrenic side. He often talks to imaginary friends, and the latest is some person dressed in a bunny suit and an insect mask named Frank. Donnie's home life is normal for the most part. His parents (Holmes Osbourne, Mary McDonnell) are not the typical kind who argue and bicker at every convenience so that we are reminded they are a dysfunctional family. When Donnie curses at his sister (played by real-life sister Maggie Gyllenhaal), their mother simply says, "please stop," while the father grins. Meanwhile, every night Donnie sleepwalks and often leaves the house, ending up in hilly streets or golf courses. He takes medication, and sees a therapist (Katharine Ross) who frequently hypnotizes him. Then a strange event takes place. A fallen airplane engine crashes through Donnie's room. The plane in question minus an engine is never found. The event changes everybody. But Donnie sees this as some sign, as evidenced by Frank who tells him he has 28 days before the world will end in some sort of apocalypse. But is the bunny foretelling the future or the past? Who will listen to Donnie? His parents? His dubious physics teacher (Noah Wyle)? His English literature teacher (Drew Barrymore)? His new girlfriend (Jena Malone)? Or is the town's reclusive neighbor known as Grandma Death who has the answers?

Seeing the film twice, I realized how off the mark I was initially on Jake Gyllenhaal, whom some of you may remember from the nostalgic "October Sky." My first impression was that Gyllenhaal's performance was robotic and unfeeling, sort of a droopier-eyed version of Tobey Maguire. The truth is that he does give a fine performance, along with some low-angle stares that are reminiscent of similar, angry stares from Stanley Kubrick's films. It is a restrained performance of a teenager looking for answers and questioning authority. Gyllenhaal's Donnie character is nicely balanced between angry arguments with the family and quiet, reflective moments with his therapist. Also worth noting is his bemused smile when waking up in strange places - it adds to the film's hypnotic power.

This is writer-director Richard Kelly's first foray into filmmaking, and what a startling debut it is. He is a director that obviously relishes actors, in the same way that Cameron Crowe does. Kelly allows perfect use of close-ups when needed to allow us to identify with the family and especially with Donnie Darko. Mary McDonnell shows compassion with utmost sincerity as Donnie's mother, in contrast to Holmes Osbourne as Donnie's father who is detached and jocose. I also marvelled at Maggie Gyllenhaal who is as precious, sweet and sarcastic as any other sister I have seen in movies.

"Donnie Darko" has a questionable climax but I think it is in keeping with the movie's theme of how unexplained events can change a person, if not a whole family, even a small town. Donnie Darko is on to something - he is searching for meaning in life and in the universe (he has an interest in time travel). His girlfriend is searching for peace and beauty in the world. It is rare in movies today to see young people engaged in such rational, life-affirming thoughts. That is part of what makes "Donnie Darko" so refreshing.

Behind Liberace's Back

BEHIND THE CANDELABRA (2013)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 "Behind the Candelabra" is one of the most honest Hollywood love stories I've seen and one of the most human, touched with an eccentricity that marks it a cut above any generic love story you might see from Nicholas Sparks.  It also contains, far and away, the most delicately fanciful and expressively gentle performance I've ever seen from Michael Douglas. Who does he get to play this time to give us such a warm, loving character? Why Liberace, of course. 

Director Steven Soderbergh chooses to open his movie in a most unconventional manner and yet well-suited to the ostentatious yet so very intimate love story at its center - he has Matt Damon as the farm boy and hopeful veterinarian, Scott Thorson, picking up a guy at a bar. No words are exchanged until they lock their eyes on each other - hypnotic to say the least. So is the rest of the film. Scott attends a Liberace concert where Liberace (Michael Douglas) is decked out in thousands of sequins and rolls out his glittery piano, ready to entertain and delight the audience. Backstage, Scott meets Liberace whom he has nothing but praise for the show and the performer, and Lee (Liberace's preferred nickname) himself is touched and in love. The pianist wants to hire Scott as his bodyguard, a go-between Liberace himself and everyone else. The two quickly fall in love and everything blossoms. Scott becomes Liberace's chauffeur, sells Liberace merchandise (and is mistaken for his son) and, the capper, Liberace legally adopts Scott as his son! The two also have plastic surgery done to their faces, and Scott is made to look like Liberace (a botched job) and has a chin implant per Scott's request. 

Naturally, their lives enter some chaos. Liberace and Scott agree to see other people since Lee has a sex drive that not even Scott can keep up with. Scott becomes addicted to weight-loss pills and cocaine. Liberace is merely addicted to sex and loves to watch porn. Things get more awry when Scott, steadily growing jealous of Liberace's sexual freedom, loses himself with his whirlwind addictions and is fired. The dream is gone and it is Scott who, from the inception of the relationship, wanted no part of the ostentatiousness of his partner's life and belongings - he just wanted love and a family.

"Behind the Candelabra" is based on the same-titled book, an account by Scott Thorson himself of his life with Liberace. The screenplay by Richard LaGravenese (who wrote one of my favorite films, "The Fisher King") wisely chooses to focus on the relationship between the two and not aim for much of the vulgarity and riches of Liberace's Hollywood palace (let's be honest - golden walls and a golden-plated car add a touch of vulgarity). This relationship is shown to come apart and dissolve, especially when Thorson sues Liberace for "gifts" he's entitled to, but they never lose respect or their admiration for each other. Liberace clearly liked 17-year-old boys but that may be because he wanted to be a father and a lover, to indulge in love and lust equally. This may be what put off Hollywood studio bosses when Soderbergh tried and failed to get studio financing (HBO ended up financing the film). It is a shame that, in this day and age, Hollywood is still somewhat afraid to tackle complex love stories that do not involve just a man and a woman - had this story been about an older man and a young woman, it might have yielded a different result from Hollywood (unless they had forgotten their 2005 success with "Brokeback Mountain"). Further proof that La-La land is hardly as liberal as it is purported to be.  

Freshly and pungently written, absorbingly directed by Soderbergh (his supposed last film) and acted to perfection by Douglas and Damon (who amazingly looks younger and less mature than usual - props must go to makeup and Damon himself), "Behind the Candelabra" is a hypnotic, strange and thoroughly moving love story. Under lesser hands, it could have been handled as a cheap, near-parodic mess reducing the story of a Liberace as strictly lascivious and nothing more. Thankfully Soderbergh and company dig much deeper than anything you might find on the E! channel. 

Craven and Blair make an unbeatable team

STRANGER IN OUR HOUSE aka SUMMER OF FEAR (1978)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
Originally review from 2003

One night I was sifting through DVD's at the local Borders shop and came across a true oddity: "Stranger in Our House," a TV film from 1978 starring Linda Blair and directed by Wes Craven! I was dumbfounded! A Wes Craven flick with dear old Linda, the ultimate demon drenched in pea soup from everyone's fave horror flick? I had to purchase it, if only for the low price and my curiosity. I was pleasantly surprised. "Summer of Fear," the alternate video title, is quite good, if nothing outstanding, and a pleasant time-filler for curious Craven fans.

Linda Blair, in her puffy-cheek period, plays Rachel Bryant, a good-natured chick who loves horses (as does Linda in real life). She lives with her family in a nice neighborhood, has a curly blonde-haired brother (Jeff East), and two loving parents. One day, they get a call that Rachel's cousin, Julia (Lee Purcell), has suffered a tragedy - her parents have been killed in a car crash. Since she is an only child, Julia stays with Rachel and her parents until she calms down and gets over her grief. The trouble begins brewing when Julia takes an interest in Rachel's boyfriend, keeps potions and other strange artifacts in her drawers, drives horses crazy with fright, and makes red markings on Rachel's photographs! Lo and behold, there is an unintentionally funny moment when Rachel finds she has sores all over her body, and dammit if some of them don't materialize on her face! How can she ride her horse in the rodeo competition with sores on her face? How can Rachel's boyfriend ever be interested in her now? Time to give Julia the boot.

"Summer of Fear" is intriguing if only because it is a Wes Craven flick minus the gore and the typical beheadings. Based on a popular young adult novel of the same name, this is more of teenage flick where we deal with teenage concerns about appearances and who is dating whom. Julia is the older sister who takes advantage of her homely surroundings and turns everyone, including Rachel's parents, against Rachel. Everyone loves Julia, even Rachel's brother and her father who loves back rubs! But Julia is not what she seems - her sophisticated appearance and proper etiquette mask an evil witch!

"Summer of Fear" is fun and consistently entertaining with a lively performance by Linda Blair, who proves she was more than just a demonic, foul-mouthed, bed-wetting 12 year-old girl. It helps that Craven is a master of tension and unease, and he creates enough of both to make us feel uncomfortable. Lee Purcell is also unforgettable, not appearing like the typically beautiful witch next door - her restraint and sheer beauty make the horror quite palatable. Though this is not one of Craven's best films, it is occasionally campy and thrilling enough to make for a nice, relatively restrained night of horror.

Menage a trois

Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I walked into a theatre showing "Y Tu Mama Tambien" without any prior knowledge of what I was about to see. I was surprised to see a film not unlike what Hollywood would churn out if they made far more explicit teen comedy-dramas. That is not to say that "Y Tu Mama Tambien" (translation: "And Your Mother Too") is standard fare as teen movies go (it has some degree of intelligence and is explicitly sexual in ways few movies are afraid to be) but it is not far from what you might expect either.

Set in Mexico, two horny, marijhuana-stoked teenagers, Julio (Gael Garcia Bernal) and Tenoch (Diego Luna), spend their days discussing sex, masturbating to thoughts of Salma Hayek and who they would love to screw with, if only fleetingly. Their girlfriends have left to Europe for vacation, and now they have want to explore any woman of any race. At a wedding where the Mexican president is set to make an appearance, Julio and Tenoch attend and catch the eye of Luisa (Marible Verdu), a stunning beauty from Spain. They invite her to a beach called "Heaven's Mouth," never thinking she will come along considering she is married to a writer who is Tenoch's cousin. Surprisingly, Luisa accepts the invitation when she learns her husband is having an affair, and decides to chuck it all to hell. The three go on a long road trip to "Heaven's Mouth," not having any clue how to get there. Like most road movies, they get flat tires, meet colorful characters, get drunk and have sex with each other, leading to a surprise ending where we learn a character's secret.

"Y Tu Mama Tambien" is fairly conventional but there are some minor sparks that diffirentiate it from the norm. The amount of frank sexuality in it, not to mention the explicit words used to describe as such, may send Kevin Smith and others of his ilk reeling with envy. Every part of the male and female anatomy is mentioned time and again by the two teens and by Luisa. Despite such frankness in its road movie conventions, the film has a kinship with "Jules and Jim" and the underrated "Threesome." All three of these films deal with threesomes and the rack of guilt that coincides with such sexual highs and lows. The teenagers do not know better but they love Luisa for her body and nothing else...and yet by the end of the film, an honesty develops between all three that reminds them of their own humanity.

Unfortunately, "Y Tu Mama Tambien"'s coda did not sit well with me. I think the film works best as the menage a trois comic tale it wants to be, but then it heads for a serious road that seems too abrupt and tacked on to really believe. The film would have benefitted from more character development to deserve such a serious tonal shift. It's as if writer-director Alfonso Cuaron ("Great Expectations") felt he had to redeem the audience for exposing them to so much nudity, sex and marijuana.

"Y Tu Mama Tambien" is well-performed and well-directed to be sure, and there are quite a few laughs along the way, but its ending may lead you to believe you've seen something more than what precedes it. No creo.