An odd trifecta

FAMILY BUSINESS (1989)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

"Family Business" is not just a guilty pleasure of mine. It is also proof that when everything seems to go wrong in a movie (casting, story, plot), it all works in some strange way when it shouldn't. "Family Business" is one of those anomalies.

Sean Connery is a Scottish career criminal named Jessie who has just been bailed out by his grandson, a Westinghouse scholar named Adam (Matthew Broderick). Right there, something is quite wrong. Matthew Broderick's genes are not even mildly similar to Connery's. Maybe Adam is a step-grandson? Heck no, Adam's father is a wealthy wholesale meatpacker named Vito played by, wait for it, Dustin Hoffman!!!! The plot has to do with Adam's plan to steal some plasma from a scientific research lab. Easy score? Sure, all Adam needs is the codes for the several key pads to enter the building and the help of Jessie, who is all game for another heist, and the reluctant Vito who has tried to go straight for some time.

As I said, none of this technically works. The caper itself is a disappointment on a cinematic level - no "Rififi" tension here except for disabling a security guard. As bright as Adam is, he forgets crucial details during the robbery's progress. Adam's character is oddly distancing and a muddle. This bratty kid idolizes Jessie because Jessie "was fun for Christ's sake." Yep, a kid growing up in a middle-class household with a father who has tried to give his only son everything he could ever want has more fun with Jessie. Not that Connery's Jessie is not a colorful and fun character (I'd hang out with him too) but the movie endorses Jessie's (and Adam's) actions and diminishes Vito for going straight. The casting of these acting giants as one family is difficult to believe on any level. Not only that but another more pressing problem is the script's inclusion of those plasma bottles - I will not give it away but Jessie is aware of information that could lighten any sentencing after Adam is caught.

Somehow "Family Business" is an entertaining, extremely watchable film and works because of Sidney Lumet's crafty direction and subtle details (the robbery involves the stealing of chemicals and one shot shows Vito acting nervous in front of what was once Chemical Bank). The performances are all top-notch. Hoffman has many great scenes, especially one truly violent moment when he beats up a worker who has been stealing from him. Connery has his juiciest role ever and eats up the scenery. Matthew Broderick is also brilliant at playing someone way in over his head. Kudos to Victoria Jackson as a schemer who sells apartments to terminal patients and the late and highly underrated Jane Carroll as Jessie's waitress girlfriend. You still won't believe a moment of "Family Business" (and its moral center is far too muddled) but you will still have fun. 

Year of Angry Rabbits

NIGHT OF THE LEPUS (1972)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Even for grade-Z schlock, "Night of the Lepus" is so poor in all departments that aim to either thrill, shock or even remotely scare that I wonder what sort of drugs the filmmakers were on.

The movie concerns rabbits who grow to mammoth proportions - we are talking "Food of the Gods"-size. How, you might ask? Zoologist Dr. Bennett (Stuart Whitman) injects rabbits with hormones to help prevent further reproduction due to those little critters destroying a farmer's crops. Unfortunately, one of the test subjects (the rabbit, that is) escapes and the injection leads to mutated, giant rabbits who begin eating people in a nearby town. This is a job for the National Guard!

Based on a sci-fi novel called "The Year of the Angry Rabbit" (the themes and content are vastly different), "Night of the Lepus" has a concept that can't possibly work, unless the rabbits are shown to be ferocious creatures with evil red eyes. Unfortunately, the rabbits are merely filmed in slow-motion wide-angle shots amidst model town replicas! The best that can be shown are the rabbits' bloodied incisor teeth! In some cases, actors are dressed in bunny suits! I pity Janet Leigh and Stuart Whitman, as well as DeForest Kelley and Rory Calhoun, for appearing in this junk. They stand around, look concerned, and utter the most banal dialogue ever written for a monster movie. To top it all off, the ending leaves the door open for a sequel. Ugh.

There is one moment I love. The National Guard stops a screening at a drive-in and announce that the town is under attack by killer rabbits. The cars promptly leave the drive-in. I have two questions: did these townsfolk think a big prank was being played on them and, secondly, why leave so promptly? Has this happened before?

Too many boo-boos

BOOGEYMAN (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Aside from the uneven 1980 horror flick, "The Boogeyman," I can't fathom on the noticeable lack of cinematic renderings of the childhood nighttime monster. I can say that John Carpenter's "Halloween" is the closest thing to some variation on a scary boogeyman. Stephen Kay's film "Boogeyman" doesn't merit equal praise or any, but it does try.

The film begins with a jumpy, scary opening sequence where a young boy senses a monster in his closet. His dad tells him not to worry and then suddenly, inexplicably, a monster grabs his dad and thrashes him in the closet. Not once, but three times. Maybe that was one too many for an old school horror aficionado like me, but the movie certainly got my attention. Cut to 15 years later, as we see that young boy as Tim (Barry Watson), who is still traumatized by those earlier events (who wouldn't be?) He has a loving girlfriend (Tory Mussett) but he can't seem to communicate with her. In his apartment, he has no closet space (no surprise there). Tim learns that his mother (thanklessly played by Lucy Lawless) is dead, though she pays a visit to his bedroom as a spectral spirit! Or is there something more, maybe incestual? Sorry to spoil it for you but not quite - no spanking the monkey here. After his mother's funeral, Barry visits his childhood domicile, has visions of the past, is still afraid of closets yet can't help but slowly open the doorknob to every closet and bedroom in the house, and people he knows start disappearing. Is this all in Tim's mind or is the Boogeyman coming to get him?

To be fair, the first two-thirds of the film had me intrigued. I was taken in by the atmosphere and those cold blue hues of a Minnesota town. I also liked the brief scenes between Tim and a former childhood friend, Kate (Emily Deschanel). And there are a couple of nice scenes with Olivia Tennet as a little girl who hides out in Tim's shed and knows a thing or two about the Boogeyman.

For scares, there are a few jolts here and there, but there are also too many flash cuts (a disturbing new trend in modern horror). The general story, though, of a man coming to grips with his past and a possibly real nightmare is avoided - it is just a setup that isn't fulfilled for the rest of the film. Mostly we have an extended promo for doorknobs - endless closeups of doorknobs. There are also various scenes of people entering or exiting rooms, or vanishing under beds or being sucked into closets that it must hold some new kind of record - a record low in horror. None of this transpires as scary or even remotely chilling. And the climactic ending is more silly than terrifying.

"Boogeyman" is hardly the worst horror film ever, and I do appreciate that director Stephen Kay ("Last Time I Committed Suicide") pays more attention to visual imagination than the requisite blood and gore theatrics. But it is a thinly-veiled, insipid horror film with an insipid protagonist who doesn't much care about anyone except his inner fears. It is the underlying rule in any horror film - you should care about the main protagonist so that the threat has urgency. "Boogeyman" simply makes too many boo-boos.

Yo, Rocko! You still got it!

ROCKY BALBOA (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Who would've thunk it? Stallone's sixth outing as Rocky Balboa turns out to be as good as any of the sequels since "Rocky II." Purging the abominable "Rocky V," "Rocky Balboa" is an incisive, almost poetic portrait of an old man who wants to prove to the world he's still got it. And Stallone certainly has it in spades.

As the movie opens, Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) is a 60-year-old man, still living in Philadelphia and with his cranky-as-ever brother-in-law Paulie (Burt Young). Rocky no longer has Adrian, his beloved wife, who lost her life to cancer. Still, the spirit of the Italian Stallion lives on as he is now owner of a restaurant called "Adrian's," and he entertains customers with stories of his old championship fights. One of his customers is an old opponent, Spider (Pedro Lovell), which will tickle Rocky fans who remember him as Rocky's first opponent in the original "Rocky" film.

Things change when a computer-generated fight between Rocky and the newest sensation, Mason "the Line" Dixon (played by heavyweight champ Antonio Tarver), sets Rocky's eyes in focus to a possible comeback. The question is: can a 60-year-old Rocky fight in the ring? Heck, George Foreman came back for one final round in the ring. The answer is yes, Rocky still has it. There is, however, chagrin from Rocky's son (Milo Ventimiglia), Paulie and just about everyone else in the boxing world ("Will this bout be an execution?"). But a scheduled exhibition fight is set in motion, and Mason Dixon considers this an easy one-two punch victory, or is it?

There is no question how this scenario is going to turn out. Still, "Rocky Balboa" does it with oodles of humanity and heart, thanks to Stallone's exemplary writing and directing reins. He knows Rocky inside and out, showing the character's emotional pain of the loss of his wife and the memories that still linger in good old Philly. Paulie is sick of Rocky's nostalgic reminders, yet Rocky is lost without Adrian. The chance to fight again and to share his spirited need to shape himself into a human being again with his son is what informs most of "Rocky Balboa." This movie has no glitz, no slickness to it whatsoever. It is a human drama about a lost soul who is clearly an optimist.

Especially touching is Rocky's renewed relationship with Marie (Geraldine Hughes), a former troubled teen who is now a bartender. Rocky befriends her and her son (James Francis Kelly III), though the fact that the son is a mulatto makes Rocky wonder where Marie has been hanging around. Nevertheless, Rocky gets Marie a job as a hostess for his restaurant. Perhaps, he is inspired by her or feels bad for her, or is hoping for a new love interest. The movie never quite gets around to it.

As inspired is the idea of an aging Rocky, the film would've been benefitted from less supporting characters. I wish there was more shown between Paulie and Rocky, two men who see the city isn't what it once was. I wish we learned more about Marie, a character given some spark by Geraldine Hughes yet, by the time we arrive at the obligatory championship finale, she is mostly there to cheer for Rocky. Little is divulged about Marie's son - again, another character on the sidelines. And Rocky Jr. is a cheerless banker who feels slighted by his father's glorious past - he only got the job as a banker because of his name (Nepotism can have its flaws). But the character has also been left on the cutting room floor.

The final fight is shown as an HBO special from one angle, with some occasional cuts to a bruised, black-and-white Rocky image with red blood dripping from his lips and eyes. The fight works but the real deal is that it wasn't needed - Stallone has already shown Rocky with more zeal before the fight than ever before.

Despite its flaws, "Rocky Balboa" is an often powerful, rousing, subtle and enriching film about aging. When Rocky learns that he has lost his speed (thanks to calcium deposits in his joints and arthritis), he builds his power from his gut and his heart. He can still run to the top of the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, lift weights, drink his eggs and punch those slabs of meat. He shows that despite his losses, he still has so much to gain. When Rocky gets back in the ring, you'll feel it too. Stallone has done what seemed the impossible - after thirty years, he has brought Rocky back in all his glory.

Exploiting the Exploiters

THE BIG ONE (1997)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

(originally reviewed in 1998)

"The Big One" is a pleasurable comedy, masquerading as a documentary, focusing on Michael Moore's attempts to focus on the truth surrounding the layoffs in Michigan and around the United States. We see unemployed people barking at Michael Moore and at the cameras about their poverty, Borders Bookstore employees complaining about tax cuts on their paychecks, a woman crying to Moore at one of his book signings about her inability to find work, and the penultimate moment when Moore confronts the Nike chairman and asks him why people in Mexico are working for 80 cents an hour.

"The Big One" has lots of scattered moments of truth, and plenty of it is just hearsay - the scene where the workers yell to Moore is obviously staged. I enjoyed the scenes where Moore and his video crew enter places of business and are threatened to leave, or when he gives some associates and bigwigs a big, fat check for 80 cents to the Mexican workers because "we want to help them out." All of this will be very familiar to anyone who's seen "Roger and Me" or his TV series "TV Nation."

Moore has a lot of good arguments about what's happening to hard workers around the country who work for candy companies or GM - if these corporations are making so much money, why are there so many layoffs? One word: competition, so they can be ahead of the others. That is why they pay so little to Mexican vagrants or children in Mexico and other countries - it is cheap labor for maximum profit. And then there are the airline workers who make flight reservations - nothing unusual about that except some of them are prisoners!

"The Big One" is very funny throughout and is more tightly edited than "Roger and Me." Moore could have a career as a comedian if he wants it, but he is after bigger game - to expose the truth through nuggets of humor. Some may say he is just exploiting the workers he's documenting. I would say he's exploiting the exploiters.

The tongue is cut in half from its cheek

EVIL DEAD (2013)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" films distinguished themselves from standard horror fare by amping up the horror and the absurd with tongue-in-cheek humor. Aside from the goofier-than-thou "Army of Darkness," Raimi made the early "Evil Dead" films playful and built the intensity with ingenuity and some horrifyingly funny gags. Most of all, they starred the incomparable Bruce Campbell as the chainsaw-wielding Ash whose silly grin and larger-than-life persona made it all rather "groovy." This "Evil Dead" remake (or perhaps an "alleged" sequel) amps up the blood and gore but has nothing else to deviate it from the norm.

We have rather wan characters on display here. Jane Levy is Mia, the recovering junkie who should have gone to Dr. Drew rather than Raimi's barren cabin in the middle of the woods. She is there with supportive friends, one of them is a nurse (all of whom are instantly forgettable on screen) and there is Mia's brother, David (Shiloh Fernandez) who has never been there for her. Why they all felt the need to be at a remote cabin in, literally, the middle of nowhere with a young woman who is going cold turkey, I cannot figure out. One character finds the Book of the Dead (missing its famous visage on the front cover) and unhooks the barbed wire that keeps it tightly shut (this would be a sure sign not to open the book). The book even tells the reader through its writings in blood TO LEAVE THIS BOOK ALONE! I think one phrase read: DON'T DO IT MOTHERF*****! A bunch of dead cats in the cellar that leaves a stench only Mia can smell would have me more worried than a damn book! The incantations are read, the blood from the sky falls, and the decapitations, disembowellings, amputations and every hook, line and sinker are displayed.

"Evil Dead" is pure sadism, on the order of "Hostel," but the original "Evil Dead" films were never sadistic - they were somewhat gory but they maintained the blood flow in moderation. Here, a demon cuts its wagging tongue in half! Another one chops off its arm! Even Mia loses her hand when a vehicle is overturned and crushes it! "Evil Dead II" references, much? But none of this is scary or chilling - you will turn away and cover your ears from the bone-crunching sound effects and not because of the resolutely dull fright factor.

Jane Levy gives the only performance in the movie that could be termed adequate. But the movie sorely needed someone like Bruce Campbell - he made us believe he was as nutty as the demons and we rooted for him. These characters are served up as bloody entrees with no particular taste or variety. All you get are the entrails and gallons of blood.

Rocky ended the Cold War?

ROCKY IV (1985)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Rocky IV" is the flashiest and emptiest "Rocky" sequel - an MTV video masquerading as a movie and it is something of a letdown, despite the usual rousing finish.

Sylvester Stallone is back as Rocky Balboa, the prosperous underdog who basically has nothing left to prove. He has a mansion, he still has his loving wife, Adrian (Talia Shire), his son, Rocky Jr. (Rocky Krakoff), and his lonely, exasperating brother-in-law, Paulie (Burt Young). Paulie is so lonely that nobody is in attendance at his birthday party except for his sister and Rocky and, get this, a robot!

Cut to a glitzy exhibition fight between Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) and a Russian boxer on steroids, Captain Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren), where there is most certainly going to be a loss (and it is treated as anything but an exhibition fight). Cut to Rocky being the Drago's next likely opponent. Cut to Adrian who doesn't understand why Rocky is going to fight (especially when Rocky refuses to get paid for it). Cut to Rocky training in the cold barren lands of Russia in one of thirty montages in the film, as well as intercutting between Rocky's fierce training outdoors and Drago's training indoors (and close-ups of steroid needles).

The training montages are effective, though some of the linking shots are obtrusive to say the least. For example, Drago fighting one opponent who falls to the floor in slow-motion is intercut with Rocky chopping down a tree - the tree falls as does the opponent. Nice idea, but slipshod in execution. I also like how Rocky trains by pulling dog sleds, carrying logs (as he did in "Rocky II"), running in the three feet of snow, and so on.

"Rocky IV" is reasonably entertaining but it is so preposterous that it makes Rambo look more human than Rocky by comparison. I like that Stallone, serving as writer and director, tackles the formerly Communist Russia as his subject, but did all the Russian diplomats and promoters have to be so cartoonish? And what about the actor playing Gorbachev who applauds with the Russian audience who cheer for Rocky to win the fight? And what about the preposterously cartoonish villain, Drago, who hardly ever utters a single syllable? In fact, Drago's wife (Brigette Nielsen) does all the talking at the press conferences while Drago only has his angry stare in his arsenal of facial expressions.

"Rocky IV" is silly and hardly has much drama in it. All we get are montages set to music and the rousing climax with Rocky draped with an American flag. It is a propagandistic music video - something I never expected the Rocky movies to ever be.