Eating Donuts under Domes

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (2007)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(Originally viewed in 2007)

I came into the "Simpsons" phenomenon rather late. I had always seen posters and advertisements showing this cute, animated yellow family, including Bart, Homer, Lisa and Marge, and heard countless positive things about it. I came into this show so late that I started seeing "South Park" episodes before "Simpsons." Recently, I have had the benefit of a fiancee who knows all 400 shows by heart, so I was inducted into the "Simpsons" mania. Now there is "The Simpsons Movie" and I am happy to say it is as sharply funny, boisterous, smartly written, and emotional as the series is.

"The Simpsons Movie" starts off with an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon set in space before we realize that the Simpsons clan is watching this cartoon in a movie theater. Then we have Homer yelling at us, as he stands up from his seat and argues that nobody should be stupid enough to pay to see this when they can see it on TV for free. It was at this point that I thought, uh, oh, we have yet another self-referential animated film. On the other hand, though this movie has its share of pop-culture references and pokes fun at itself, so does the series. So let's move on, shall we? D'oh!

Everyone knows the Simpsons clan. There is pot-bellied Homer Simpson (voiced by Dan Castellaneta), the patriarch; his wife, blue-haired Marge (voiced by Julie Kavner); the rambunctious Bart (still rather incredibly voiced by Nancy Cartwright); the ever so smart and sweet Lisa (Yeardley Smith); and little baby Maggie (Nancy Cartwright), who has been chewing on a pacifier since 1989. They all live in good old Springfield, a town where everyone knows your name. There is Krusty the Clown, good old Moe and his tavern, Mr. Catholic Do-Gooder Ned Flanders (Homer's neighbor), the Howard Hughes-like Mr. Burns, Comic-Book Guy, Chief Wiggum, etc. Most of the regular characters are on display, and others barely appear (Selma and Patty for one).

The story has Homer adopting a pig, and creating a song for it ("Spider Pig" is one of the funniest parodic songs I've heard in a long time). Most of the clan disapproves of the pig, especially when muddy pig feet prints appear on the ceiling. Of course, a pig has to defecate and, in typical Homer fashion, pig feces accumulate and are placed in what appears to be a missile silo that is kept in their backyard, and then promptly dumped in a lake! Of course, the smell permeates the entire town, and Lisa and a new male companion do their best to spread a global warming message which the town's denizens have zero interest in. That is until the goverment comes in and quarantines the entire town by placing an impenetrable dome over it.

"The Simpsons Movie" is silly fun and it made me smile. I was flabbergasted by how many big laughs there are in the film - I don't think I laughed as much as any film in the last couple of years. I love the moment when Homer screams out "Dome!" There is a hysterical "Austin Powers" gag where we see Bart in his birthday suit as he skates all over town, with enough objects blocking his little pecker (sorry Bart). There is the delectable Tom Hanks in animated form as a spokesman for the Grand Canyon. I love the sandbox that sucks you in and transports you from one area to another. I love the visual gag of the dome itself, especially the actually thrilling climax which has to be seen to be believed. There is also Albert Brooks as the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, though he is not interested in helping the environment.

There is plenty to enjoy in "The Simpsons Movie" and I wouldn't want to give away any more of the delicious comic dialogue, visual gags and innuendoes. I will say that Homer is more dunderheaded than usual, and has just as much heart. Marge is still the devoted wife despite what Homer does or doesn't do. Lisa is still the smartest and brightest of the lot, whereas Bart still gets his kicks from laughing at his father's accidents (what a guy!). If there is a sequel, I want to see more of Apu and a few more digs at Moe's Tavern. Personally, I think I've had enough of Milhouse.

Ambiguous ambiguities

THE MYTH OF FINGERPRINTS (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Bart Freundlich's "The Myth of Fingerprints" left me angry and confused. Sometimes, great movies accomplish those goals with a purpose. "Myth of Fingerprints" is a frustratingly thin dysfunctional family drama where each character is merely introduced and nothing more. There is no follow-through, no desire to see where each character is headed. We see them as character types yet we are as removed from them as one can imagine.

Thanksgiving is around the corner in a New England home. Roy Scheider is the Dad who would prefer if nobody came to visit. Blythe Danner is the Mom who welcomes everyone. Living with them is their youngest daughter, Leigh (Laurel Holloman), a cheerful young woman (and that is all we learn about her, plus her super duper foot massages). The guests include a terminally annoying and hostile older daughter, Mia (Julianne Moore) and her husband, a therapist (Brian Kerwin); the glum son Warren (Noah Wyle) who is still pining for his ex-girlfriend; and another son named Jake (Michael Vartan) who has a girlfriend (Hope Davis) who has nothing on her mind except sex. So there are two dinner sequences in this movie and one repeated and notable flashback, and some delightful scenery.

I wish there was more to "Myth of Fingerprints" but the only enthusiasm I can muster is that the locations and the New England house have a lot of character. The human characters leave no real impression. Noah Wyle's Warren is given more screen time than anyone yet his passivity can grind your nerves (funny, he played a different kind of Warren in the forgotten "Crooked Hearts"), but at least his character is the most interesting. Julianne Moore's Mia is hostile to everyone and has a moment to let her guard down to an old childhood friend but that is all. Holloman's Leigh is cute and bubbly. Roy Scheider appears to be drunk throughout, and has one inexplicable moment during a family dinner. Blythe Danner smiles a lot. The less said about Michael Vartan and Hope Davis, the better.

I think Freundlich is interested in exploring a realistic look at families without an ounce of melodrama, cliches or clear-cut resolutions. All fine and good, however, there is no social dynamic to these people, no reason to spend two hours with them and no reason to believe they are dysfunctional. I am all for ambiguity but I do not believe in ambiguous ambiguities.

Demonically comical Polanski

THE NINTH GATE (1999)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When Polanski takes a walk on the wild side, it can be fearless and threatening to the art film crowd (you know who you are). When he chooses to do a simple lark, a nifty little walk on the safer side, it can be atrocious ("Pirates") or downright brilliant ("Rosemary's Baby"). "The Ninth Gate" is simply comical fun.

Johnny Depp stars as Dean Corso, a goateed, unethical book dealer who specializes in finding rare books for wealthy collectors (the kind of books not available online at Amazon.com). One particular collector, Boris Balkan (Frank Langella), requests Dean's help in locating two existing copies of "The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of the Shadows," a guide on how to conjure the spirit of Satan, reportedly written by Satan himself. But Satan could not have written three different copies of the same book, now could he? Dean's job is to authenticate the other existing copies, and to determine if Balkan's is the real deal. At first hesitant, Dean decides to travel to New York, Paris and Portugal on his search. He encounters twin booksellers, a feisty widow (Lena Olin), a stringent baroness in a wheelchair (Barbara Jefford), and an aristocrat who plays the violin (Jack Taylor) and lays out all his precious books on the floor of his living room. Naturally there are mysterious deaths along the way, and there is a mysterious woman, identified in the credits as the Girl, with piercing green eyes (Emmanuelle Seigner, Polanski's wife) who happens to appear wherever Dean goes.

"The Ninth Gate" has a smoothly refined, exquisitely moody feel to it, thanks to the amber, murky tones in the cinematography. Every scene in the film feels as if there are mysterious forces within waiting to be uncovered, and the pages of the books evoke an elusiveness in Dean's close introspection of every single detail - you just sense he will find something which may lead nowhere. That is Polanski's gift as a storyteller, letting minute details flourish in our mind but we must be quick to catch them. I like the way he makes us focus on the Girl when she first appears at Balkan's lecture, he tilts the camera down to show that her legs barely touch the floor where she sits. The other neat touch, though incidental in theory, is when Balkan shows Dean his collection of books guarded by glass doors where the password to open them is 666. I also found it interesting that Dean never sees the Girl floating in the air whenever chaos ensues.

In the past, Polanski's atmosphere, mood and implicit horror always lead to a dramatic, shocking finale as in "Repulsion" or "Rosemary's Baby." This time, the film sort of ends but in such an abrupt, wanting fashion that we wonder why he went through the whole expense of involving us in the first place. To add insult to injury, the film's final half-hour is submerged in absolute ridicule, including a laughable Satanic ceremony, Langella yelling and screaming while chanting to Satan, and a gratuitous sex scene that would make Hugh Hefner chuckle with derisive laughter.

I still enjoyed "Ninth Gate" overall but it is more of an exercise in style than substance, and Polanski does not take the film as seriously as he should have. It is as if he wanted to revisit the themes of "Rosemary's Baby" and decided to end it all in a "Fearless Vampire Killers" mode. A guilty pleasure for us, and probably for Roman as well.

Disney's Indiana Jones 5 in 2 years?

INDIANA JONES 5, BY WAY OF MICKEY MOUSE

By Jerry Saravia

As many of my readers are aware, I happily look forward to a new Indiana Jones flick, even if by some standards the last Indy flick, "Crystal Skull" was seen as the rotten apple in the series. Nevertheless, Disney chairman Alan Horn stated that it won't be for another 2-3 years before we see a new film in the iconic action-adventure saga. Boo! More telling is that Mr. Horn claims there is no script, let alone an idea for a fifth Indy film. Never mind that a few years back, director Steven Spielberg claimed he "cracked" the story for a new film. Shia LaBeouf (who trashed "Crystal Skull," where he played the role of Mutt Williams) told the press that Harrison Ford was working out, preparing himself to be in shape for the new installment. Creator George Lucas said he was working on it. That was a few years ago. When an announcement was made that a new Star Wars film was in the works (despite Lucas claiming that no more Star Wars movies would be made), my heart sank a little. The rumor is that Ford revisiting his Han Solo character in "Star Wars Episode VII" would guarantee his reprisal of Indiana Jones. In addition, Disney now owns LucasFilm and all its subsidiaries, including the Indiana Jones franchise. However, a deal was reached between Paramount Pictures and Disney where Disney would have distribution rights to the franchise as well. So do not expect to see the iconic opening credits with the Paramount Pictures mountain logo dissolving to a similar outline in the next Indy film. Maybe it will be the Mouse ears or, heaven forbid, the Cinderella castle. Mr. Horn stated the following: "It didn’t make sense to produce the movie at Disney and then have it be distributed and marketed by Paramount."

I have faith that Indiana Jones will return but will it be a fifth adventure in the series or will they reboot? Ford has been mum about Star Wars and Indy but, maybe it is just me, I rather see Ford cracking the whip than Mickey Mouse. It is just too odd to fit those two companies together.

Where are my two dollars?: An interview with Yano Anaya

AN INTERVIEW WITH YANO ANAYA

WHERE ARE MY TWO DOLLARS?
By Jerry Saravia 

Yano in "A Christmas Story" (1983)

Yano today

"Where are my two dollars?" is the famous phrase uttered by the paperboys in the highly regarded and offbeat 1985 cult comedy, "Better Off Dead" (which starred John Cusack and Diane Franklin). Yano Anaya played the role of one of the Paperboys, a small role but not an insignificant one when fans approach Yano nowadays and ask for two dollars (especially at fan conventions). Of course, one cannot forget Anaya's Grover Dill character, Scut Farkus's bullying sidekick, from the perennial Christmas movie, 1983's "A Christmas Story." You know the film is a cultural landmark, a film that is easily the definition of Christmas, when a major fan of the film approached his table at the Chiller Theatre convention in New Jersey back in 2006 and boasted about the film. This fan became Yano's wife, Selena Anaya. 

So what is Yano Anaya up to lately? And what about that popular Van Halen music video from back in the day? And why is 1988's "Blue Iguana" the last film he made in his career? Read further, but don't forget to give me the two dollars!

1. It has been thirty years since "A Christmas Story." What are your fondest memories of working on that film? and is this a film that you watch with your kids on Christmas every now and then?

"My fondest memory [having shot his scenes for 6 days out of a 6 week shoot] was meeting the cast members. It was a special event, my first big movie! I was staying at a hotel that had a rundown mall attached to it so you can imagine how much fun we kids had in there! Later on in life, my son, who was 10 at the time, invited some friends over to watch the movie. I was 10-years-old in that movie and my son looked just like me in the movie so the kids had asked my son, 'You were in this movie'?"

Yano (the one with the arrow on his face) in the 1984 music video "Hot for Teacher"

2. How did the role of a young Michael Anthony in the Van Halen video "Hot for Teacher" occur?

"A phone call from my manager, as it is often the case. I know who Eddie Van Halen was - the best guitarist in the world and my favorite band. I went to audition and rocked it. I went for the callback and rocked that. My dream came true. I was 13 at the time."

3. Your role as one of the "Paperboys" is hilarious in the 1985 cult comedy, "Better Off Dead." I assume if fans know you are in both that film and "A Christmas Story" they might ask for "two dollars" more often than not.

"I am recognized for Christmas Story more often than Better Off Dead. Sometimes I am spotted on the street and somebody asks for a photo holding two dollars. At conventions, fans are surprised to learn I was in Better Off Dead."

Yano with Dylan McDermott in 1988's "The Blue Iguana"

4. You are credited with just three films, the last being 1988's "The Blue Iguana." Were roles not as forthcoming or did you decide then you needed to do something else?

 "Blue Iguana was my last film and it never got a wide release. After that film, I appeared on some General Hospital episodes playing a troublemaker. I did a gig on The Gong Show which was a blast. Afterwards, I had four years of auditions but not a single job. Acting was my dream. I went to college and studied health and fitness. My mom influenced my interest in health and nutrition (Yano's mother had a masters in Human Nutrition). At age 4, I was already cooking, maybe not too well. By the time I was in 2nd grade, I knew the difference between a carbohydrate, protein and fat when almost nobody else knew what I was talking about."

5. I see that you were born in Cleveland but Yano sounds like a Japanese name. Where are your parents from originally or, more appropriately, what are your ancestral roots?

"I was born in Miami, Florida, in Dade County. We moved to the San Fernando Valley in California when I was 4 years old. My father was from Puerto Rico. My mother was German, Irish, Swedish, Dutch. I was the only child from my parents [Yano's parents did have other children before they met and got married, including Yano's half-sister named Katy Kurtzman, an actress]. My name Yano means Ya No Mas, translated from Spanish as 'no more.'

6. What motivated your interest in physical fitness, particularly with being Director of the personal trainer program at the Atlanta School of Massage?

"My wife is an anatomy and physiology instructor at the Atlanta School of Massage and opened up the door of opportunity by introducing me to the owner [Leticia Allen who founded ASM in 1980] The Atlanta Personal Trainer Program is the first of its kind in Georgia. [Yano Anaya is the Personal Trainer Program Director and manages a 600 hour program that gives 286 hours of hands on experience and 314 hours of class room instruction including Anatomy and Physiology, Exercise Physiology, Kinesiology, Nutrition, Wellness Coaching, Business and Sales, which meets the future requirements of mandatory Licensing for Personal Trainers]. Please visit the website at asmwellness.com for more information."

Once it is written, it becomes fiction

STORYTELLING (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally viewed in 2002)

Uneasiness is at the core of all Todd Solondz's work. "Welcome to the Dollhouse" was the uneasy tale of a young girl coming to terms with school, sex, and jealousy in her adolescent years. "Happiness" was the provocative, uneasy epic of sex and relationships in New Jersey, and the nature of pedophilia. "Happiness" remains the most provocative film of the nineties for touching on taboos that make people feel queasy and uncomfortable. "Storytelling" is the uneasy tale of sex, racism, and tabloid journalism crossed with media exploitation in New Jersey. Two of those themes are far more provocative than the last, a retread of ideas we have seen before and better.

The film is divided into two sections: "Fiction" and "Nonfiction." "Fiction" begins with college student, Vi (Selma Blair), who has a relationship with Marcus (Leo Fitzpatrick), who suffers from cerebral palsy. They are both working on stories for their writing class, but mostly they have sex rather than discuss writing. Marcus has changed the ending to his story but Vi doesn't want to hear it. He feels the relationship has passed their stormy affair phase into one where she is "kind" to him, no doubt due to his celebral palsy.

The day of the class comes where everyone has to read their stories. Marcus reads his (relating to his own relationship with Vi where he becomes a cerebral man), and is greeted with overwhelming praise by the students. The teacher, Mr. Scott (Robert Wisdom), a Pulitzer Prize winner, scoffs at Marcus's writing and calls it cliched and sentimental ("And that title, 'The Raw Truth'. Is that supposed to be some kind of joke"?). Marcus is upset but Vi tries to calm him down - she is attracted, however, by Scott's derisive put-downs and blunt criticism. One night, she inadvertently meets Scott at a bar. They talk. She goes to his apartment and they have anal sex. Solondz doesn't stop there - Scott has Vi say a racist phrase which will no doubt make him climax. The next day, Vi has written her own story about her ordeal with Scott. The class hates it and berates her for it, but Scott sees the seeds of a genuine talent. She defends her story to the students by saying it was an actual incident. Scott's own bluntness comes through perfectly in one great line: "The moment you write it down, it becomes fiction."

The next section called "Nonfiction" deals with an amateur documentary filmmaker, Toby Oxman (Paul Giammati), who wants to make a film about alienated youth at the local school. He finds a disillusioned slacker named Scooby (Mark Webber), who has no prospects or goals in life except to be on television. His family is one obscene lot. There is the father, Mark (John Goodman), who can't stand to talk about taboo subjects at the dinner table; his wife, Fern (Julie Hagerty), who merely tries to keep out of her husband's way; the jock brother, Brady (Noah Fleiss), who worries about his reputation, and the irritating Mikey (Jonathan Osser), the youngest brother who has one scene with the maid (Lupe Ontiveros) that will make you cringe with pure vitriol.

Toby has his own problems. He wavers from one job to the next, tries to hook up with a high-school classmate who has moved on to better things like marriage, and is trying to convince himself he can make a documentary that will be entertaining to everyone. The problem is that he is filming a reality that cannot be formatted for the masses in a digestible manner. He realizes this but insists on making it fun.

Scooby has his share of problems like any high-school kid. He refuses to take the SAT's, wants nothing to do with college, discovers he is gay, and realizes his life is being reduced to a film titled "American Scooby." And he has a remarkable scene at the dinner table where the conversation shifts to the Holocaust survivors. Scooby declares his mom as a survivor since they would never have existed if her parents did not escape from the concentration camps.

"Storytelling" is certainly uneasy and unnerving, and Solondz knows how to make his audience squirm in their seats. It is a good film, well-written but somehow unfocused. The first part of the film, "Fiction," is masterfully done, pure vintage Solondz. It is both serious and understated with maximum impact in witty dialogue (especially the classroom scenes which are undeniably honest). Vi and Mr. Scott are the most memorable characters in this section, and I would have liked to have seen more of them. The second half, titled "Nonfiction," seems like a cartoon minus the exaggeration. Scooby's family is underdeveloped, lacking the loopy, soulful qualities of the families in "Happiness." A lot of Scooby goes a long way, though the shot of his teary-eyed reaction to the documentary at a private screening is superb. But this section is almost futile compared to the first, seemingly truncated chapter (running a mere thirty minutes). "NonFiction" is Solondz's sardonic commentary on documentaries, the responsibility of the filmmaker to his subject, the media exploitation and, ironically, the film "American Beauty." It grows into a spoof and tries to place emphasis on how Scooby and his family are affected by this documentary, not to mention his father's rants about how Scooby should go to college. None of this feels remotely engaging or fulfilling, and a lot is recycled from other films with similar themes. One episode involving the poor maid feels out of line with the rest of the story, though it involves a denouement that is pure Solondz.

I admire "Storytelling" for its brave, honest emotions and some excellent performances. What I was left with were the indelible impressions of Mr. Scott and Vi and that was from the first, more powerful section that would have benefitted from more screen time. The rest of the film feels unfinished, underdeveloped, unfocused and wanting. I expected more, perhaps a better story.

Footnote: The theatrical version of the film features a red rectangle placed in front of a long shot which shows a sexual act between Vi and Mr. Scott. The MPAA rejected the scene and, of course, Solondz took advantage and made a mockery out of the ratings board. This review applies to the unrated version, which is more animalistic since you can see what is happening, and therefore angrier and more provocative. My guess is that the MPAA may have had some misgivings about Mr. Scott's race, not gender, since he is black and Vi is white. Of course, I could be wrong.

No honor among thieves and vampires

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(originally viewed in 1996)

After Tarantino's post-"Pulp Fiction" success in 1994, his future remained questionable. Here was a man who reinvented and rewrote the rules of gangster flicks forever - in retrospect, not so new were his rules or inventions as much as the energy he brought to them - and the question remained if he ever could top his crowning "Pulp" jewel. Tarantino didn't try to prove anything as he largely acted in some rotten films like "Destiny Turns on the Radio" and his own horrendous short film in a collection of bad ones called "Four Rooms." It wasn't until 1997 that Tarantino showed why he was a success in the first place. It was not the gore or violence as much as his sharp, clever writing and the introduction of the gangster as an ironic antihero. "From Dusk Till Dawn" was an early script by Quentin from long before "Reservoir Dogs," and it is actually two movies rolled into one. It is a silly, jagged and overlong pulp carnival that at times is entertaining and funny. From behind the cameras is Robert Rodriguez of "Desperado" fame, and you can clearly see where Tarantino's movie ends and Rodriguez's begins.

The opening scene is reminiscent of "Natural Born Killers" with George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino playing two brothers, Seth and Richard Gecko, who rob a convenience store and murder the owner and the police officer all in the space of less than ten minutes of screen time. The two antiheroes are two bumbling thieves wearing black suits with no particular direction in life other than robbing convenience stores. Seth is the calm, resourceful crook whereas Richard is a stupid, raging psychopath.

After the murderous robbery, the pair take a hostage from an earlier bank robbery to a run-down motel. Richard disposes of the hostage, and the twosome end up kidnapping a grizzled preacher, Jacob Fuller (Harvey Keitel), and his two kids, the teenage Kate (Juliette Lewis) and her adopted Chinese brother, Scott (Ernest Liu). Seth needs them as bait to cross the border to Mexico where he's supposed to rendezvous with his employer. At this point, the movie takes on an odd route and becomes a cartoonish "Evil Dead" flick when the incongruous group go to a bar named the Titty Twister run by vicious, grotesque, constantly morphing vampires! This is where the over-the-top histrionics of Rodriguez begins.

As enjoyable as "From Dusk Till Dawn" frequently is, it is disappointing. The first half of the film is terrific stuff, mixing in laughs, tension and surprises with ease, and all superbly written by Quentin Tarantino. Once the movie settles in for the horror aspect, it becomes slightly repetitive and mindless. The movie spends an eternity showing our heroes and anti-heroes shoving stakes into vampires' hearts, as well as chopping off their heads and limbs with an arsenal that includes chairs, beer glasses, crossbows and crosses. There is so much vampiric carnage that Rodriguez doesn't allow much room for Tarantino's trademark wordplay and that is a shame.

There are, however, some hilarious performances and understated acting to compensate. There's the 70's blaxploitation star Fred Williamson as a Vietnam Vet; Tom Savini (former make-up artist of "Dawn of the Dead" fame) as a leather-jacketed punk named Sex Machine; and Cheech Marin in three roles - the best is as the Titty Twister host who invites all the truckers and bikers to join in the fun of watching the sexy strippers do their snake striptease dances!

George Clooney made a successful transition here from television's "E.R." to the big screen, as evidenced by some of his later work post-"Batman and Robin." Here he projects a calm, relaxed personality as Seth, and makes a convincing, charismatic action star. Surprisingly, Tarantino does his best work here as the psychopathic, horny Richard who has the hots for Kate, the preacher's daughter. Harvey Keitel brings a level of humanity and quiet authority as the preacher who has lost his faith since his wife died in a car crash. Juliette Lewis is at her most restrained here and brings a sensual, sweetly innocent side that makes us care for her amidst all the flying vampire body parts.

In short, "From Dusk Till Dawn" is a rollercoaster ride of thrills and laughs that throws in everything from bits of "Pulp Fiction" and the Indiana Jones series to all those grade Z zombie/vampire thrillers. The special-effects are enthralling yet exhausting, and Rodriguez has still not learned what balanced rhythm is. With some spectacularly edited sequences and better-than-average performances, this is junky, fast-paced filmmaking at its best. Now if only Tarantino would direct his own screenplays more often.