Arranging a date with a trickster

PASSIONADA (2002)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(Originally reviewed in 2003)

I wanted to like "Passionada" so much more than I had, but it is my duty to be honest. For its high likability factor alone, "Passionada" is worthwile pursuing for an evening of light entertainment. Still, it is so formulaic and predictable to the core that you wonder what might have been if it pursued some of its less formulaic elements.

Sofia Milos is the Portuguese singer and factory worker, Celia Amonte, a dedicated mother and widow who is still in mourning over the death of her first and only love, a fisherman who died at sea. Celia has a precocious teenage daughter, Vicky (Emmy Rossum), and a wayward mother-in-law, Angelica (Lupe Ontiveros). Celia lives with her daughter, and the mother-in-law lives right above them where she can watch every move they make. One night at a restaurant club where the exotic Celia sings, a patron from the audience, Charles Beck (Jason Issacs), takes a fancy to her singing and her beauty. He gets the nerve to introduce himself and asks her out twice - both times he is rejected. Enter Vicky (who has a thing for setting up her mother on Internet dates) who works out a deal with Charles (whom she knows from the local casino gaming tables) - if he teaches her how to count cards, she'll arrange a date with her mother. Of course, we are aware that Charles is a con man, a trickster who has been banned from nearly every casino. He is not wealthy and lives in a motel with financial support from fellow buddy, Daniel (Seymour Cassel, in a trademark role) and his pretty wife, Lois (Theresa Russell, completely wasted in an empty role. Can this be the same actress who startled us in "Black Widow" and "Crimes of Passion"?)

"Passionada" is by-the-numbers in every respect. We know Charles will woo Celia and eventually bed her, and we do know he will not immediately reveal his gambling past. There is even a scene where Lois is seen picking up Charles at the motel where Celia conveniently happens to be riding along and spots them, thereby assuming the worst. We have seen all these scenes before, including the inevitable happy ending where fish is used to...well, you probably will anticipate it.

There is a curious subplot where Vicky pretends to go on dates when she dresses up and goes to the casino - does she like to gamble or is she looking for Mr. Right? Is she only toying with Charles or does she really know how to count cards? If she does know how to count, was she hoping that Charles would be interested in her, not her mother? There is an insinuation there that the writers did not anticipate.

"Passionada" is well-acted, especially the dark-curly-haired Sofia Milos (best known for her role in TV's "C.S.I. Miami") who brings a balanced act of reserve and outrage, and even comic outrage at her daughter's comings-and-goings at night. I also enjoyed the live wire performance by Emmy Rossum, whom you might remember as Sean Penn's daughter in "Mystic River." Lupe Ontiveros is also superb with her double takes as the mother-in-law who does have a heart after all.

Less impressive is Charles Beck - yes, he has wit to spare but seems unbelievable as a con-man (imagine what Clive Owen of "Croupier" fame might have done with this). Theresa Russell is a disaster in every respect, merely walking through her part instead of embodying it. It is a fruitless role, as is Seymour Cassel's who at least keeps his humor intact. Eliminate these two characters, Lois and Daniel, focus on Celia and her family and her sad songs and her Portuguese background, and we might have had a truly passionate movie instead of the stale though enjoyable dramatics on display here.

Sleazy, cheesy and not much else

WILD THINGS (1998)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Wild Things" has no one dependable to keep things interesting. The story has Matt Dillon (wildly miscast) as Lombardo, a respected high-school teacher who is convicted of raping two local teenage beauties of the "Scream" variety, the rich blonde Kelly Van Ryan (Denise Richards) and the girl from the alligator nests' living in a trailer, Suzie (Neve Campbell). And that's about as far as I can go in describing the plot except to say that Kevin Bacon shows up as a clean-cut cop, and Bill Murray hilariously plays a shyster.

Although "Wild Things" is sleazy, exploitative to an extent and often cheesy, the film's twists and turns are much too apparent. Perhaps, I've seen too many film noir thrillers but I could anticipate its every move, excluding Kevin Bacon's stunning reversal of roles that I'll keep mum about. The other flaw is that the complex weaving of twists reveals little about the characters or their humanity. In the best tradition of film noir with classics that range from "Double Indemnity" to "Chinatown," there was always an identification with the protagonists and an understanding of the motives for their actions, no matter how depraved. Here, there is no one to identify with on any level, possibly because no effort was made to make the characters' personalities real or consistent - they appear to be cartoon characters out of a Vogue fashion spread. The only character worth caring about is Neve Campbell's Suzie, but then we learn she's not quite what she seems either.

I miss the old days of film noir when the dialogue sparkled and cut the air like stabbing someone's back. The atmosphere was always there, but it served as an existential backdrop for the sins of mortal men and women. Desperation hung like an endlessly dripping wet blanket - it was omnipresent. "L.A. Confidential" and "Lost Highway" are the best recent examples of that type of noir. "Wild Things" is disorganized, silly and counterproductive.

Noir seeped in troubled Florida waters

PALMETTO (1998)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Noir that thrives on pure irony and unbelievable coincidences plague most of "Palmetto." The film stars Woody Harrelson as a rambunctious former reporter just out of prison for a crime he didn't commit - he was apparently framed in a police cover-up. Now he starts life over with his sexy girlfriend (Gina Gershon), an artist, and is offered a job with the police department! He resists the offer, and finds himself neck deep in trouble with a flirtatious blonde siren (Elisabeth Shue). After stealing money from her purse, she asks him to participate in a scheme involving the kidnapping of her sister. Before you can say murder, corruption, conspiracy, double indemnity, Woody gets in a jam he can't get out of. The desperation begins. In an ironic twist, he's hired by the police department to cover his own story, which involves him as a possible murder suspect.

"Palmetto" is breezy fun for a while, but it takes much too long for it to go anywhere. An inordinate amount of time is spent on Woody's couplings with Ms. Shue before the plot kicks in gear. The problem here is that Harrelson and Shue have no believable sultry sparks between them - Shue's best leading man has been Nicolas Cage by far, and he played a drunk! The film has the perfect sweltering atmosphere to convey hidden passions and desires, but its tone is too uneven. It goes from completely deadpan, to wildly over-the-top rainy climaxes, to deadly serious innuendoes of the "Gingerbread Man" variety - witness the gory shenanigans of the Michael Rappaport character that belongs in a different movie. The movie floats by thanks to Harrelson's charisma but charisma is not always enough. 

Frenetic innocence in the Trainspotting-style

MILLIONS (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2004)

Danny Boyle's "Millions" is a frenetic daydream as seen through the eyes of a child. Its wild, antic energy may throw viewers off, but its sense of innocence pervades, albeit unevenly.

7-year-old Damian (Alex Etel) is living in a new house in a new neighborhood and attending a new school. He has a sturdy, older brother, Anthony (Lewis McGibbon), and a lonely, widowed father (James Nesbitt). Damian is especially informative and insightful when it comes to the lives of saints, especially knowing the year of their birth and the year of their death. He also has conversations with them, mostly in an elaborate cardboard hideout he has built near the railroad tracks. One saint, Clare of Assisi, smokes while claiming she is the patron saint of television. Another saint helps Damian with stage direction on how to properly emote in a biblical play - "Focus!"

One fine day, a train zooms through town while Damian is in his cardboard compartment. Out of nowhere, a Nike bag falls near him and it ends up having more than enough money to keep President Bush in office for another four years. Damian believes it is a sign from God. He tells his brother and they decide to keep it secret from their father, and any other grown-ups (though not from their schoolmates). Damian likes to give money away to charities, including at their school - he also gives it to neighbors, including Mormons who use a stash of money found in their door slot to buy the latest in state-of-the-art electronics. Anthony wants Damian to keep a low-profile but Damian makes himself too obvious - he buys a huge pizza lunch for some homeless people. Then there is the dilemma of what to do with some of the extra money, especially when British pounds are about to be converted into Euros.

"Millions" is like a hyperactive junior-league version of Boyle's own "Shallow Grave" crossed with the hallucinatory visuals of "Trainspotting." It is so in-your-face that you might need a dose of Dramamine to survive it. Boyle has made a whimsical tale of innocence but he forgoes whimsy for frenetic, cartoonish visuals that may leave you more exhausted than enlightened. The cuts are too rapid and too frantic to suggest the point-of-view of a saintly child like Damian.

Sometimes the film drags when dealing with the general populace crowding the banks as they are eager to get their Euros. There are endless shots of Damian dragging his Nike bag along with his dad's new girlfriend (Daisy Donovan). And the subplot involving the real owner of the loot may make you wonder if you aren't actually watching "Shallow Grave."

If nothing else, Alex Etel saves the film, occupying almost every frame. We love this kid for his belief in the goodness of others and for his hope that he can do good for others - in the end, we feel good enough to root for him. Besides, you have to love a kid who worships all the saints. As for director Danny Boyle, this is probably as close to a feel-good film as he'll ever get.

Hungry for brains

HANNIBAL (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Ridley Scott's "Hannibal" has been criticized for its over-the-top gross out scenes and little else. There is a reason for this - there is little else to discuss and that is unfortunate. For all the character development that "The Silence of the Lambs" provided for Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling, "Hannibal" focuses on cartoonish types in a freak show designed to titillate, a far cry from what "Silence" accomplished.

"Hannibal" begins effectively as we observe Clarice (Julianne Moore, replacing Jodie Foster) on a drug raid with the help of several FBI agents. She kills a drug czar (Hazelle Goodman) by firing a bullet at her chest as the czar clutches her baby. The incident puts Clarice in a difficult position with the FBI as she has to turn over her gun and badge. She is on the Guiness Book of World Records for being the only FBI female agent to have the most kills. This Clarice, ten years after dealing with Hannibal Lecter face-to-face, is a changed woman, colder and less emotional. Probably a dose of good old Hannibal is just what she needs to get out of her slump. Still, another agent named Krendler (Ray Liotta) has it in for Clarice, and desires her sexually. As always, Clarice's interests in life exclude anything sexual. One funny scene shows Krendler looking at photos of Lecter unaware Clarice is watching him. She alerts him and he asks, "What are you doing in the dark?" Her response: "Thinking of cannibalism."

So far, so good. "Hannibal" then switches to Florence, Italy where the good doctor Lecter resides and is trying to find a job as a museum curator! A detective named Pazzi (Giancarlo Giannini) is investigating the disappearance of the former curator and discovers that the doctor is Hannibal and is on the FBI ten most wanted list (which also includes the terrorist Bin Laden)! The film's pacing slackens, spending far too much time on the Italian detective and so little on Clarice who is still looking for Hannibal. Keeping the two most memorable characters in the history of movies apart amounts to awkwardly patched-together situations that have little to do with anything. In fact, as written by David Mamet and Steven Zaillian, the story is almost nonexistent. There is no tension, no surprise and a general lack of credibility. How can someone like Hannibal, who never wears a disguise, be able to move about Italy in a flowing cape and a hat and not be noticed? How can you not notice someone wiping the glasses of wine they drink from at a restaurant? Well, the detective notices but surely there must have some way of him communicating this information to the FBI if he wanted to.

Of course, Pazzi chooses not to as his primary motive is financial. You see a certain billionaire by the name of Mason Verger (Gary Oldman) wants Hannibal fed to his killer boars. It turns out that Verger was forced to slice off his own face and feed it to his dogs thanks to Hannibal. Now he is a faceless cipher with no eyelids and a horrifying expression that is sure to creep out the most jaded viewer. He is about as loony as Hannibal himself and provides a handsome reward to anyone who knows of Hannibal's whereabouts. Enter the desperate Pazzi, yet he doesn't realize he is being hounded by Hannibal.

But none of this matters in the least. There is no sense of urgency since Hannibal can escape and elude authorities so easily. The crux of the film is the Florence investigation but I missed the central relationship between Hannibal and Clarice - they so embodied "Silence of the Lambs" that here, they are mostly left on the sidelines. No character shadings or depth to either one of them leaves us out in the cold. A real shame since Julianne Moore is an excellent replacement for Jodie Foster, and a brief meeting between her and Hannibal sheds little light on either one of them.

Another factor is that Hannibal was imprisoned in "Silence" thus leaving plenty of time to understand his motives and desires, and his developing interest in Clarice. Letting him loose like a wild animal does little to raise our expectations - he is simply a madman with an insatiable appetite for flesh who has a host of sardonic comments to make about cannibalism. Where is the charm and elegance Hopkins brought to the original?

Moore is well-cast and strong and empathetic but she still remains as one-note as Hopkins does. It is not her fault, the script needed plenty of fine-tuning but what can you say about two top-of-the-class screenwriters hired to provide such a mediocre, rambling screenplay?

"Hannibal" looks and sounds terrific thanks to director Ridley Scott. It is glossy filmmaking but with no soul or human interest. A climactic dinner sequence remains as loathsome and gory a sequence as anything Hollywood has ever produced before (though Scott has directed it tastefully). But mean-spiritedness and gore are central to "Hannibal" - it is a bloodless freak show where the characters are all cartoons. "Silence of the Lambs" defied genre expectations by never quite fitting into a thriller mode or a horror movie scenario - it was, at its best, a psychological character study with a gripping hold on the audience through its sheer intensity and surefire direction by Jonathan Demme. This film is a pure slasher flick, unengaging and uneven. And all poor old Hannibal has left to say are such flat one-liners like "Goody-goody" and "Ta-da." How rude!

Almost called it a wrap before the end of the first reel

THE LAST SHOT (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Purportedly based on a true story involving an FBI sting to nab mobsters under the pretext of making a fake movie, "The Last Shot" might have worked had it been released back in the early 90's. Such a story of a movie-within-the-movie being made in Hollywood, or actually in Providence, Rhode Island, resembles leftovers from any post-"The Player" knockoff we have seen a million times minus any humor or satiric potential. As I said, it is refried leftovers.

Alec Baldwin plays an FBI agent who gets his finger cut off by some anonymous bad guys in a separate sting operation. His own dog, Sasha, kills herself by jumping into a jacuzzi because he is never home with her! So far, this film smacks of tastelessness and under-imagined black comedy potential. The real-life John Gotti is coming to Providence so Baldwin gets the bright idea to fake a movie shoot so as to bust Gotti and all his minions into using non-union trucks in a deliberate...oh, who cares. By the climactic third act that involves Ray Liotta as another federal agent, the whole plan comes apart anyway and the plot becomes as thin as shaved ham.

Poor Matthew Broderick (who has appeared in a slew of bad movies) is the screenwriter and proposed director of this idiotic screenplay that Baldwin uses as a cover. Question: why do most Hollywood satires feature such incredulous and unbelievably dumb script ideas in their movie-within-the-movie? Broderick's script titled "Arizona" deals with an angel in the desert named Charlotte (played by Toni Collette) and suicide and a series of flashbacks, but it is material that even jaded Hollywood executives would never want to make. I guess the joke is that Baldwin's fed wants to make it and actually believes in it. To make matters worse, Pat Morita and Russell Means appears as themselves in fleeting cameos - couldn't the filmmakers have given those two something to do beyond introducing themselves at a script meeting? As for Toni Collette, she is far too over-the-top as a diva who plays the title role in the "Arizona" script. I'll second more cartoonish hollering and hysteria from Calista Flockhart as Broderick's manic-depressive girlfriend who threatens to kill pooches - where is PETA when you really need them? Wasting any opportunity to have Tony Shalhoub in a movie wastes our time and patience.

Written by Jeff Nathanson without a shred of irony or comedic potential, "The Last Shot" falls flat on its face. Except for one scene where Baldwin mimics an obscene producer's phone call, there is not one laugh to be had from the entire movie. It is behind-the-scenes moviemaking by the numbers. 

Above the fruited plains

PLAINSONG (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Watching a Hallmark TV movie may be the most harmless activity in the world, but it shouldn't be the most laughable. After watching "Plainsong," you may wonder why sentimental family movies can get it so wrong and so quickly from the start.

The movie begins with several plotlines and characters, none of which cohere in any manner. America Ferrara (what a name!) is Victoria, a pregnant high-school teenager. Her mother disowns her rather quickly after discovering the reasons for her consistent vomiting. Victoria is left to fend for herself, so she seeks shelter from her extremely nice high school teacher, Maggie (Rachel Griffiths), who allows her to live in her house despite a disgruntled father. Seeing that the father is a nuisance who attacks Victoria, Maggie lets her stay with two cattle-rustling brothers (Geoffrey Lewis, William Andrews) who have never been married. Would you trust two strangers with a frightened teenage girl? Hmm, the plot thickens.

Then there is Mr. Tom Guthrie (Aidan Quinn), another high school teacher who is either going through a divorce, or his wife is sick or depressed or all the above. The wife is played by Megan Follows, and most of her scenes have her sitting in a couch or laying in bed wrapped in a blanket (kind of like my mother). Oh, yes, Guthrie has two kids to take care of. And Mom has her sights set on moving to some city in Colorado (and she may be bisexual, though in a movie like this, you can never be too sure). We also have Mr. Guthrie's dilemna concering a senior football jock - he is failing the course but the higher-ups prefer that he passes with a solid D, I imagine. And there is the potential romance between Guthrie and Maggie, the latter being something of a push-over. And there is a fistfight between the jock and the teacher. And the two kids are assaulted by the jock in the middle of the night. And there is a cute sequence where the kids learn to ride the ponies at the deserted ranch belonging to the two strangers. And go vomit, if you must.

I have nothing against sentimental family movies, but "Plainsong" is mired in thick sentiment and a lagging narrative. It is also full of such implausible scenes that you'll laugh incredulously, if you don't fall asleep. Aidan Quinn and veteran Geoffrey Lewis rise above the material. The problem is there is not much material to rise above.