Smile and smile again

POLICE ACADEMY (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Frequent laughs dominate "Police Academy," a 1984 comedy that lampoons, I'd gather, police academies. Still, for the number of scattershot laughs and humorous situations, "Police Academy" is generally high on the goofy meter. It gets off on general goofiness and goofball characters to muster enough to get by as an adequate comedy.

Steve Guttenberg is Mahoney, a parking lot attendant who is forced to join the police academy or else he will be jailed. He is one of many proposed cadets to the police academy which has abandoned strict credentials, such as an education, to join. Why? I dunno but this is merely the template for some cartoonish types. There is Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), who mimics various sounds; George Martin (Andrew Rubin), a Spanish lothario who beds any and every woman; Kim Cattrall as a female cadet whom Mahoney keeps his eye on; Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf), a former security guard who is gun-obsessed, volatile and ready for action; Leslie Barbara (Donovan Scott), a desperately whiny sissy; and Moses Hightower (Bubba Smith), the intimidating former flower-shop owner whose stare is enough to bring anyone down on their knees. Short-tempered Lt. Harris (G.W. Bailey) is responsible for making sure these cadets quit, per the Chief of Police's orders. 

"Police Academy" could have been excessively raunchy and downright mean-spirited like the following year's  moronic and racist comedy, "Night Patrol," but it opts for easygoing laughs that do not gross out or bludgeon you till your numb. I love watching Bailey's Lt. Harris losing his cool (used to far better effect than the tired shenanigans of 1987's "Mannequin") in front of the cadets, or getting fooled by Larvell's mimicking of a police transmitter (in fact, anytime Winslow's Larvell shows up on screen, it is hilarious). The scene where a fight instructor holds down Leslie between her legs had me rolling with laughter. Even scenes that could have fallen flat are juiced up and make me smile, such as the visit to the Blue Oyster club or the marvelous George Gaynes as Commandant Lassard who receives special oral treatment behind the podium.

"Police Academy" is miles ahead of its sequels, far too many to mention and none nearly as fun as this one. I would not call "Police Academy" uproarious or even close to the Zucker (ZAZ) brand of comedy spoofs but as a pleasing hour and a half of general goofiness, it will do. Laughs are scattershot but smiles are aplenty.

Interview with Jill Whitlow: Perky Girl-Next-Door-With-Attitude

INTERVIEW WITH JILL WHITLOW: 

THE PERKY GIRL NEXT DOOR WITH ATTITUDE

By Jerry Saravia

Jill Whitlow - That was Then, This is Now

No matter how small her screen time is, Jill Whitlow memorably stands out. Whether it is as the perplexed girl who is a bit shocked by Rocky Dennis's appearance in Peter Bogdanovich's "Mask," or the sassy boutique girl who wonders how two nerds have girlfriends in "Weird Science," her appearances stay with you and strike a chord. Of course, she has not just appeared in small roles. Jill Whitlow is synonymous with cult horror favorites such as "Twice Dead" and "Night of the Creeps" with full-bodied lead roles. Jill has also accrued a few television credits, including roles in TV shows such as "T.J. Hooker" (episode: "Two Faces of Betsy Morgan" where she played a runaway who is a prostitute by night), "Gimme a Break," "Silver Spoons," "Swamp Thing" (which lasted three seasons), "Freddy's Nightmares," and "Growing Pains."

Jill Whitlow (Center) in Peter Bogdanovich's Mask

Jill Whitlow usually played the girl-next-door, but with far more spunk and attitude. She could be vulnerable but she was also assertive and stood her ground - she was more woman than girly and probably would not fit in with the Valley Girls of 1980's cinema (I can't imagine her in any of the various Spring Break sex comedies of that era). Even in the episode of "Freddy's Nightmares" (entitled "Mother's Day") playing literally the girl-next-door, her character was a bit manipulative, egging the new neighbor to throw a party that turns into a bloody disaster. You haven't lived until you see her inspired way of flipping the bird in "Night of the Creeps." Speaking of horror roles, Jill Whitlow is considered by some as one of the first female empowered action heroines as proven with her Cynthia Cronenberg role in 1986's "Night of the Creeps" (just in front of Linda Hamilton's Sarah Connor in 1984's "The Terminator").

I had the good fortune to interview Jill Whitlow and here, you will learn about her early days, how she got discovered, her thoughts on her male co-star in "Twice Dead," and whether or not she will return to the cinema screens in the possibly forthcoming "Night of the Creeps 2."

Jill Whitlow in a still from a Pepsi commercial - jillwhitlowfan.com

Jill Whitlow as Mindy in 1982's Porky's, Jill's film debut

1.) Let's start right at the beginning. What influenced you to become an actress, and how did you get the role of Mindy in "Porky's"?

Jill Whitlow: "I was hired to be in a ketchup commercial when I was 3 yrs old by an agent who saw me at the mall with my mom and it all started from there. When I was 16 I auditioned for the role of Mindy in Porky's and got it! After being on the set and working with Bob Clark I knew it was what I wanted to do!"

Winger's Hungry video

 2.) You appeared as a newlywed in the music video for Winger's "Hungry," quite a tragedy that your character dies in a horrible car wreck (even more horrifying that Winger's own fiancee died in an auto accident later on). Who decided you should play the dearly departed, or maybe you were a fan of the band?

Jill Whitlow: "I auditioned for the Winger video...I had never heard of the band before then! Great song though, eh?"

Two different Jills in 1988's Twice Dead

3.) Let's talk "Twice Dead." A curious little horror flick, though I am wondering why you have so much chemistry with actor Tom Brashanan when you are supposed to be playing his sister. Didn't it seem more like a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario to you, looking back, or maybe just on the set  ;) ?

Jill Whitlow: "Uh oh...LOL, You could tell? Yes, we were dating! I know...sick!"

Jill Whitlow as Cynthia Cronenberg in Night of the Creeps

4.) You have worked with film directors like Fred Dekker, Bob Clark, Peter Bogdanovich, John Hughes, etc. Any experience that stands out the most, aside from "Night of the Creeps,"  or one you are most fond of.

Jill Whitlow: "Fred Dekker, of course, is my favorite. John Hughes was very sweet...but Bob Clark kinda become my father. He took such good care of me and really was the reason I moved to LA. He introduced me to my first agent, flew me to LA and believed in me so much!"

Jill as Tena Tidy in an episode from Adventures Beyond Belief TV series (1988)

5.) Other brunette actresses had a tough time getting roles in the 1980's, up through the early 90's - seems like the blonde bimbo was the role for women in teen sex comedies and horror flicks, to some extent. Clearly other qualities came through beyond the girl next door in "Night of the Creeps," or your brief cameo as a boutique salesgirl in "Weird Science." Were there any roles you auditioned for that you regret not getting, or any you regretted taking on, that is symptomatic of casting agents looking for a particular type? 

Jill Whitlow: "No actually, I always did the best I could, and it is what it is, right? That's how Hollywood works."

Jill in TV's Swamp Thing episode: "Mirador's Brain" (1992) 

6.) An episode of the TV series "Swamp Thing" is listed as one of your last credits, circa 1992. I know you raised a family afterwards but was that the sole reason for leaving your career, or were you planning on coming back at some point?

Jill Whitlow: "No, I was not planning on returning. I loved being a 'mom'. And really, I am very glad I was there for my kids every moment. I never missed a thing watching them grow up and loved every minute. Now that they're at college...hmmm...you never know."

Jason Lively and Jill Whitlow in 1987's "Ghost Chase"

7.) How did 1987's "Ghost Chase" come about? And what was your working and personal relationship with Jason Lively, considering it was the second time you two worked together? 

Jill Whitlow: "About Ghost Chase...after Night of the Creeps, the director of Ghost Chase - Roland Emmerich - thought Jason and I would become the "pair of the eighties" kinda like the Breakfast Club clan...so he did not even audition us, just hired us. Many people don't really like the film cause they don't understand it. I liked it! It was a blast and great memories working in Germany. As for Jason and I? Just very good friends.

8.) Lastly, speaking of coming back, any word on "Night of the Creeps 2" (though I think your character meets an unkindly end in the theatrical version, unless we are supposed to prefer the alternate version)?

Jill Whitlow: "We have talked about it and it would be exciting. BTW...my character did not die. I blocked the little creep. They just didn't see it...LOL"

Jill Whitlow films available on DVD/BluRay/VHS:

Ready for prints, 2 for the price of one

ONE HOUR PHOTO (2002)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2002)

Loners like Seymour Parrish are fascinating because they lead such insular lives. They are not necessarily rejects of society nor are they deviants in the strictest sense. They want to belong but simply do not know how, thus alienating themselves from everyone in the process. In "One Hour Photo," Seymour Parrish is one loner who wants to belong to a family, and starts to develops an attachment to one.

Seymour ("Sy") Parrish (Robin Williams) works at a one hour photoshop in a department store not unlike Walmart, here called SavMart. He is a fine employee and always looks to give the customers the finest prints he can make, despite problems with maintenance who know next to nothing of the finer details of photo processing. Sy is committed to his job and knows his customers well. There is one customer he is fond of, perhaps a little too fond of. The customer is Nina (Connie Nielsen), who always wears black leather and lives with her aloof husband, Will (Michael Vartan), an architect, and their young son, Jake (Dylan Smith), who plays violent video games. Nina's existence is one of comfort despite having a husband who is never there for her or her son. Sy knows nothing of their marital problems - he just knows the pictures he has printed of them for years. They seem like a happy family and Sy wants to be one of them, often imagining himself as Uncle Sy. He has also made extra prints of their pictures and, in one truly eerie scene, he has collectively pasted all their prints on one wall space in his living room.

Sy does not live a charming existence. He works in a photo shop that seems sterile and bland at best. His home is grayish and completely devoid of color. He watches "The Simpsons" on television and never flashes a smile. This man has no pleasures in his life. But by getting close to Nina at his workplace, he looks for details. She reads the spiritual lessons of Deepak Chopra and finds himself reading it as well. In one scene that sums up the character's insularity crossed with populated public places, Sy seats himself at a fast-food restaurant in a mall where Nina happens to be. Needless to say, Nina is surprised at Sy's interest in Deepak Chopra. We may also be surprised that perhaps Sy never goes to eateries at the mall because there are so many people - he seems more comfortable alone or talking to Nina. Sy even tries to buy Nina's son a warrior action figure but her son refuses to accept it. Will considers the "photo guy" a "stranger" and is alarmed by his appearance. But eventually Sy discovers a secret involving Will that he uses to his advantage. Of course, this also opens the doors to Sy's lack of reality about families in general. Sy is now at a boiling point and we are not sure what he will do his next. Even his firm boss (Gary Cole) is driving him crazy.

"One Hour Photo" is directed by music-video director Mark Romaneck, but don't let his background turn you off. He does not bombard the screen with flash cuts and fancy editing tricks but rather cools off the dramatics in favor of a Kubrickian mode - sets, lighting and color play more substantial roles than camera moves. The gray colors inside the photo mart, the malls, and Sy's apartment make us feel queasy. This is not just Sy's insular existence but his own state-of-mind, and some of it may remind us that malls are not exactly bursting with color and imagination - they look just as dull and placid as Sy's apartment. Mostly "One Hour Photo" is not in-your-face. Like Robin Williams's performance, it is subdued and this factors in how creepy the film is. At times, it is nearly unwatchable. Anytime Sy talks with Nina or her family, we feel we are on edge, unsure of what he may say or do.

Robin Williams, fresh from a quietly menacing turn in "Insomnia," makes Sy compassionate and harmless yet still threatening. His own search for a perfect family and the flaws he finds shows how unrealistic his expectations are. He reminds me of Jerry, the psychopathic, smiling stepdad in "The Stepfather," who also craved the perfect family and basically went berzerk when they did not fulfill his promise. Sy is not as prone to such murderous tendencies as Jerry was, but his insularity and his needs prove to be as explosive and surprising. It is one of Williams' most powerful roles in a long time, far more reserved than usual. If Williams did this to wipe out the thick sentiment of "What Dreams May Come" and other post-"Patch Adams" oddities, he has succeeded admirably.

"One Hour Photo" never veers into familiar thriller cliches, nor does Sy Parrish prove to be some one-dimensional monster in need of psychiatric help. I could have lived without the flashback structure, however, and would have liked more emphasis on Nina - the fact that she calls her husband neglectful is only skimming the surface of her troubled family. Taking visual cues from "The King of Comedy" and "The Conversation," Romaneck still finds a way to make"One Hour Photo" grate our nerves. We want Sy to belong to a family, and we would like to him to be happy. Sy wants all the familial trappings that life has to offer - in short, the American Dream. He just has a creepy way of showing it.

Interview with Fred Carpenter: Long Island's own veteran indie filmmaker

INTERVIEW WITH FRED CARPENTER: LONG ISLAND'S OWN VETERAN INDIE FILMMAKER

Written by Jerry Saravia (Published in March 18th, 1999)

Reprinted with permission by the Times Beacon Record Newspapers

Fred Carpenter - producer and director

Back in 1998, I recall seeing a film called "Schmucks" by Long Island filmmaker Fred Carpenter. His first words when introducing the film to the Staller Center audience at the State University of Stony Brook were, "To chuck all thought and pretense out the window. To leave your brains at the door." Though I am not an admirer of "Schmucks," I find his other work far more solid. As of this writing, Fred Carpenter has completed nine films including his latest thriller, "Deadly Sin," now in post-production and starring bikini model Donna Decianni. His career path, however, has had its rough edges. 

Carpenter, who was born and raised in Atlantic Beach and Baldwin, NY, and is the son of a former reporter for the Long Island Press. He now lives in Shirley with his grandmother, the scene-stealing star of "Schmucks." He attended Five Towns College in Dix Hills, originally intending to major in economics, then transferring to the State University at Stony Brook. There he discovered his true calling was performing in front of and behind the camera. 

Carpenter's first foray into filmmaking was "Chase of Temptation," a 1987 short-subject film that he shot with fellow filmmaker Samuel Hurwitz. Hurwitz later directed a script by Carpenter that became their first full-length feature film called "On the Make." The film, a parable about AIDS and youthful promiscuity, was shot on a $120,000 budget. 

Gary Burghoff in Small Kill

Since then, Carpenter has produced a violent police thriller called "Small Kill," in which he played a Nassau County policeman on the trail of a psychotic child kidnapper. Gary Burghoff, best known as Radar in "M*A*S*H," played the kidnapper. The film also featured Jason Miller, best known as Father Karras in "The Exorcist," as a wino informant. Ellen Greene, known for her role in the film "Little Shop of Horrors," also appeared. 

Carpenter expressed satisfaction that he was able to get Burghoff "whom everyone identifies with as Radar," and Miller, "an actor's actor and a writer's writer," for the film. Even with those big names, however, Carpenter could not find a distributor for the film, and therefore sold it to the cable television channel Showtime. 

Jason Miller in "Murdered Innocence"

Carpenter followed "Small Kill" with another police thriller, "Murdered Innocence," which also starred Jason Miller. Both "Murdered Innocence" and "Small Kill" were shot in Stony Brook Village, Smithtown, Swezey's Department Store in Patchogue and Cedarhurst. 

Frank Coraci - director of "The Waterboy"

Fred's neighbor in Shirley, Frank Coraci, is also a film advocate of the highest order - he's the director of two popular Adam Sandler films, "The Wedding Singer" and "The Waterboy." Before Coraci made it to Hollywood, he served as a co-writer, actor and director of "Murdered Innocence." "We talked one day since we were neighbors and realized we had many of the same interests, goals and aspirations," said Carpenter.

Carpenter says that filming in Stony Brook Village and other local areas saved money he would have spent location scouting, and that these areas could be adapted to evoke almost any town in America. "If you want a Williamsburg setting, you look no further than Stony Brook Village," said Carpenter. "If you need a club setting, as we did in On the Make, you look no further than the club in East Meadow for interior club scenes. Everything is accessible and adaptable for your filmmaking needs."  

Carpenter shares the frustrations and tribulations of many independent filmmakers trying to make it in the world of cinema. "In the end, 90 percent of all hopeful filmmakers will never make it," said Carpenter. "Ten percent will actually get to make a film. Two percent of those may find a distributor." 

Fred Carpenter's financial support has come mostly from friends and relatives. "I've made and lost money for many people," said Carpenter. "It is the nature of the business. My biggest budget has been for Murdered Innocence which cost $1.7 million. A typical production for me costs $250,000. That's the real nature of independence."

Carpenter's future plans are to act in Hollywood films and to make independent films as a producer and a director. "A filmmaker often coasts along on his pride, his ego. You cannot think in terms of ego," insisted Carpenter. "As a filmmaker, you have to think, 'we!' Make no mistake, filmmaking is a collaborative process."  

Desperately Seeking Spawn

JUNO (2007)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(Originally reviewed in 2008)

You know you've seen a great film when, after you have finished watching it, you are not sure of what you have just seen. I used to feel that way often but not as much anymore with today's current cinema. "Juno" is something of a masterstroke that will take me days to really think about what I've seen. Usually this requires another viewing to be sure. I am not shortchanging the experience nor am I overrating it, but I don't think that is the case here. "Juno" is a brilliant comic and dramatic marvel of a movie, a genuine feel-good movie that is completely unsentimental and yet so heartwarming, so truthful and so winsome that it is one of the few irresistible movies I've seen in the 2000 decade.

Ellen Page plays the most arresting, smartest, disarming, ironic teenager I've seen since Thora Birch in "Ghost World." She is Juno, a 16-year-old high-school girl who speaks in ironic tones and uses language that even the Droogs would have trouble understanding. In the opening scene, she gets a pregnancy test and finds out she is pregnant (the plus sign looked like a division sign). She had sex as an experiment with her best friend, Paulie (Michael Cera), who approaches life with a nonchalant slight ironic tilt of the head - these two deserve each other. Juno considers abortion but hates how the clinic treats her. Then she finds an ad in the Pennysavers with the headline, "Desperately Seeking Spawn," thanks to her other best friend, Leah (Olivia Thirby). Juno has an epiphany and feels she has to give birth and give the child to good parents. They are Mark (Jason Bateman), a commercial jingle writer/Sonic Youth enthusiast with bigger musical aspirations, and Vanessa (Jennifer Garner), who senses her purpose in life is to be a mother. All Juno has to do is give birth, despite complications with school, and tell her parents, Mac (J.K. Simmons) and stepmom Bren (Allison Janney) who would rather hear she was expelled from school than being pregnant.

As written by debuting writer Diablo Cody, "Juno" juggles all kinds of characters in refreshingly simple yet complicated ways. Most refreshing is the lead character, Juno, a smart aleck but not fully, though she is self-aware and doesn't seem to worry about much of anything - she (and Ellen Page) are too wise and mature for their years. Juno can see through people yet is nonjudgmental (especially towards a classmate who holds up an anti-abortion sign in front of the abortion clinic). She can be as witty and sassy as her stepmother, who holds her own with a disapproving assistant during a sonar scan. Juno doesn't hate anyone or necessarily love or hate herself - she is a selfless teenager with her own moral compass (that is even more refreshing than you might think in today's climate) and she doesn't expect everyone to adhere to it. Juno is one of the most unpredictable and articulate characters in modern movies.

Other formidably drawn characters are Mark, the uncertain parent-to-be who would rather rock with a band than with a baby. He also develops an unspoken affection for Juno (they bond over their love for horror movies), as if she was the kind of girl he had been looking for all his life. There is his wife, Vanessa, who is simply looking to love and nurture a baby, more so than Mark, though one gets the feeling they are not meant for each other. And last but certainly not least is Paulie, the kid who is not quite a nerd but not quite a troublemaker - he is the silent partner who loves Juno probably more than he suspects. As played by Michael Cera (whom I admired in TV's cult classic series, "Arrested Development"), he seems smarter than his years, also able to see past people's superficial nature.

Again, I am not sure I can fully encapsulate the high I felt after watching "Juno." This is an odd, spectacularly funny and very charming film about grown-ups who express their feelings by intuition, or at least when they feel it is right. Sometimes a nod or a smile says more than actual dialogue and writer Cody and director Jason Reitman (who is on his own high after having a smashing debut with "Thank You For Smoking") have fully realized their material. You'll notice that I said this film is about grown-ups, despite being mostly about teenagers. Juno is all grown-up before she grows up. Now that's maturity.

The right to take a puff

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2006)

A satire about smoking campaigns seems absolutely ripe for this day and age. Many die from lung cancer thanks to smoking, and many others don't and smoke a lifetime's worth. "Thank You For Smoking" aims to cultivate our nation's demand to make smoking synonymous with evil, and it does a bravura job through humor and lightning paced quips and repartee.

Aaron Eckhart is Nick Naylor, a lobbyist for the Academy of Tobacco Studies. His job is to promote smoking at any cost, including making an appearance on the Joan Lunden show and pointing out that a boy stricken with cancer is owed the right to smoke. He attacks the anti-smoking lobbyists who promote the idea that cigarettes will kill the boy, known as Cancer Boy, which would kill the chance of him ever smoking again. So he advocates smoking, turns the tables slightly, and has the audience applause on his behalf. One could say that Nick Naylor is the best spin doctor ever.

Nick often has dinner with two other members of the MOD (Merchant of Death) squad. One is Polly Bailey (Maria Bello), an alcohol lobbyist, and the other is an overzealous firearms lobbyist, Bobby Jay Bliss (David Koechner). They altercate over which product has a higher body count, though they never discuss the ethics and machinations of the product they are lobbying for (that would be for another movie).

Problems are arising in the media when Vermont Senator Finistirre (William H. Macy) is appealing for legislation where a skull and crossbones visual would appear on every cigarette box, replacing the already clear Surgeon General warning. He wants the visual with the word "poison" imprinted as a safety against those who can't speak English at all (how timely!). Nick has to work overtime to prevent such legislation, making appeals to everyone including a Hollywood producer (Rob Lowe), who would include smoking in an upcoming movie set in space with Brad Pitt, and even the Marlboro Man himself! To top it off, Nick has to deal with an ex-wife who's afraid he is a negative influence on her son (Cameron Bright). There is also an ambitious reporter (Katie Holmes) who faintly promises Nick that what he says when they're having sex is strictly off-the-record. Yeah, right.

There is more to "Thank You For Smoking" but in the interest of brevity, I shall be brief of the movie's many pleasures. As pure satire, based on a book by Christopher Buckley, it scores a direct hit. The movie delights in the hypocrisies of everyone involved in defending and arguing against smoking. As Nick says at one point to Senator Finistirre, cheese can cause cholesterol problems so what if there were a campaign against cheese ("Vermont will not apologize for its cheese"). Smoking can cause lung cancer and other health problems yet that won't stop anyone from smoking. In one superbly written scene, Nick explains to his son his analogy with chocolate, arguing that most people want chocolate yet some prefer vanilla - he will fight for vanilla because he's always right. The moral of a spin doctor being that if you argue, you are right. It isn't just about his son, it is everyone else.

Aaron Eckhart has clearly his most acute, complex role since his film debut in "In the Company of Men." This time, Eckhart plays a more likable character in the sense that his Nick is seemingly sincere about what he's selling to the American people and yet we sense that he doesn't wish to be a part of it. It is that sneaking sincerity that helped build his powerhouse performance in "In the Company of Men" (he played a far worse slimeball in that movie), and it works here as well. Nick is a salesman of words and watch the scene with the Marlboro Man (Sam Elliott) and you'll see how his sneakiness works in Nick's favor, and how anyone can be bought with just enough manipulation.

The rest of the cast dazzles as well. J.K. Simmons is shaping up to be one of my favorite character actors and here he plays B.R., Nick's headstrong boss who is relying on Nick to make tobacco the seductive drug it once was, especially in movies. William H. Macy, a man who can't give a bad performance, wrings laughs and pathos as the hypocritical senator. Rob Lowe is truly hysterical as the Hollywood exec with an affinity for Japanese culture. Maria Bello and David Koechner are ideally cast as feuding lobbyists. Let's not forget the divine Robert Duvall as the Captain, the big boss of the tobacco industry. Even a cameo from the terminally annoying Dennis Miller brings a few laughs into the mix.

If there is one disappointment in casting, it is Katie Holmes (Miss Tom Cruise Who Had Me At Scientology) as the backstabbing reporter. Although she made her mark in "Go" and "Batman Begins," she doesn't credibly register as a reporter of any type - you sense she'd be better off reporting on the high school wrestling team. And her continuous sex romp with Nick is so underdeveloped that you forget Holmes is even playing a reporter.

At a sharp, brisk 92 minutes, "Thank You For Smoking" makes you wish it were longer. There is such a wealth of good material that it could've easily been mined for an additional half-hour. Director Jason Reitman (Ivan's son) does a stellar job of adapting Christopher Buckley's book, mining it for the nuances and quirks that will easily elude most ADD viewers. Complete with countless freeze frames, Nick's sardonic voice over and endless pokes at the stupidity of anti-smoking campaigns, "Thank You For Smoking" is the kind of movie that gets funnier the more you think about it.

Stephen King's stale Writer's Block needs rewrite

SECRET WINDOW (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Johnny Depp is usually at his best in low-key performances where his tics and eccentricities pay off and you're left with an entertaining, mannered performance. I think back to Depp's work in "Ed Wood," "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" and "Blow." But when he is stuck in a commercial Hollywood flick, he can sink fast. Think back to "Astronaut's Wife" and "Nick of Time." The exception is "Donnie Brasco," a better-than-average mob flick. "Secret Window" gives him ample opportunity to expand his range, and he does so as long as the screenplay allows him. Unfortunately, Depp is stuck in a generic, watered-down suspense thriller that would have been better as a TV movie than something released in theaters.

Depp, in typical fashion, aims for anything he can do to make his character stand out. He is Mort, a novelist living in isolation in a log cabin. He sports glasses, a ripped robe, a bleached hairdo, and continually sleeps on the couch. He can't get his new novel off the ground. He recently caught his wife (Maria Bello) cheating at a motel and, as a result, is in the middle of a divorce. What's next? One day, a stranger arrives at his house and claims that Mort stole his ideas from his own novel. The stranger is John Shooter (John Turturro) and the story is titled "Secret Window," something that Mort claims as his own. Shooter supplies him with a manuscript as proof, but when was it written? Could Shooter be using Mort for some ulterior purpose? No matter. Mort goes to the police when his dog is found dead with a screwdriver through its heart. Unfortunately, the police chief spends more time doing needlework than policing. Mort even gets a private investigator involved. And there is something strange about Shooter's pilgrim-shaped hat and the rocks placed in front of Mort's porch. Is Mort's disorientation growing because of his constant whisky-swilling, or is his life in danger?

Based on Stephen King's "Secret Window, Secret Garden" (from his "Far Past Midnight" book), "Secret Window" can go in any direction with such a solid build-up. It does, and then it ends with a howler that is easily foreseen. That wouldn't matter much if the film delivered with psychological twists and some handy scares - what else would you expect with King? The problem is that focus is lost and attention flags when the seams begin to show. I think a tale like this needs to stay with Mort and in his reclusive house - we should really see it all from his point-of-view. Instead, we get unintentionally hilarious and flatly staged scenes in cafes, offices and gas stations - these scenes primarily involve Mort's wife and her new lover (Timothy Hutton). Unfortunately, Maria Bello and Timothy Hutton are bereft of anything remotely interesting to do or say - they look like wooden blocks and we feel nothing for them.

"Secret Window" is agreeable enough as passable filler, thanks largely to Johnny Depp's wiry, wry performance which serves up Mort's lethargy and paranoia - characteristics common to someone with writer's block. Depp lets us see that his mind is always at work - he is so active that you wonder why the movie can't quite contain him.