Wolf Man's got nards and a rubber mask!

THE MONSTER SQUAD (1987)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Fred Dekker's "The Monster Squad" has become something of a cult favorite for former 80's teens and perhaps today's audience though I can't say for sure. So is "The Goonies," though that Richard Donner movie was a box-office hit which "Monster Squad" was not. Dekker's film is not even half as fun as "Goonies" and that is a problem for an alleged kiddie flick - "Monster Squad" is an uneven, unmemorable, insufferably bland picture that can't make up its mind of what it wants to be. "The Goonies" was hardly the most memorable movie experience but it knew what it was.

So there is some business about an ancient, powerful amulet that Dracula (Duncan Regher) wants to get his hands on. This amulet is a force of "concentrated good" and it creates a balance of good and evil when it isn't powerless, which it is one day out of every century. The amulet also opens a portal by which Van Helsing had hoped to send Dracula and his gang of Universal Monsters into Limbo in the opening sequence. Dracula wants to shroud the world in darkness. Kids from the Monster Squad, that is experts on Universal Monster Movies, find Van Helsing's diary which will allow them to open the portal and get rid of the Monsters who are haunting their idyllic suburbia. Only problem is that the diary is written in German, and only a conveniently located German neighbor (Leonard Cimino) can translate it. But it would help if the incantations are read by a virginal female in a church. Atheists could have a field day with this.

Right off the bat from the first reel, something feels off in "The Monster Squad." There is no real sense of urgency or danger and the kids are a mixed bag at best, though Michael Faustino as "Monster stole my twinkie" Eugene or the late Brent Chalem as Fat Kid stand out. The old reliable Universal Monsters are also a shade disappointing. The Wolf Man (Jonathan Gries) has nothing more than a hardly emotive rubber mask, The Gill Man looks more threatening than the beloved creature from the Black Lagoon but he's not on screen much, and Regher's Dracula is no better than the ridiculous interpretations from low-budget stinkers of the 1970's like "Dracula vs. Frankenstein." Tom Noonan brings some sympathy to Frankenstein's Monster that is enough to make one wish he were the star of the show. Gill Man could've been afforded a little sympathy when the creature, in the 1954 flick, never wanted to harm the female lead. Here, Gill Man doesn't have many scruples.

"The Monster Squad" is all over the map with a slim story and slimmer motivations for its characters, especially a generic Dracula (since when did the good Count ever want to shroud the world in darkness?). In many ways, this is my kind of comical creature feature flick as I adore the Universal Monsters but Dekker is lost in a haze of throwing everything but the kitchen sink (he helmed the far more upbeat and terrifically paced "Night of the Creeps"). No magic and no real sense of fun make for a dull Creature Feature.

May the Fourth Be with You

STAR WARS VII 2ND TEASER RIGHT HERE WITH COMMENTARY!

STAR WARS VII 1st TEASER!

STAR WARS EPISODE VII CAST REVEALED: A FEW SURPRISES AND MORE...

By Jerry Saravia

LATEST NEWS: Luke Skywalker is a Sith?

Director J.J Abrams and some unnamed puppet creature from "Star Wars Episode VII"

Unnamed and non-CGI pig creature from "Star Wars Episode VII"

June 19th, 2014 - Watch the video for updates on new casting members and Harrison Ford's ankle injury.

 On April 29th, 2014, a cast photo was released to the public for the in-production film of the eagerly anticipated "Star Wars: Episode VII," due for theatrical release in December 2015. It is no surprise that actors Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher were officially confirmed to return as Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, respectively. This is big news in the Star Wars universe because the original trio have not played these roles since 1983's "Return of the Jedi." Peter Mayhew is of course returning as Chewbacca (confirmed a couple of weeks ago), not to mention Kenny Baker as R2-D2, Anthony Daniels as C3PO, and new cast members who include Adam Driver (HBO's "Girls"), Oscar Issac ("Inside Llewyn Davis," "Drive"), Domnhall Gleason (who appeared in the last two "Harry Potter" flicks), Daisy Ridley (a new fresh face from Britain), and John Boyega ("Attack the Block"). There is also Max Von Sydow, a major surprise, and I bet he will be playing some sort of older Jedi, perhaps carrying on the tradition of Christopher Lee and Alec Guinness, or maybe an archvillain. It is all up in the air at this point. I neglected to mention Andy Serkis of "Lord of the Rings" fame is also cast, although as what is unconfirmed. In fact, aside from Solo, Leia and Luke, there is no information on the characters these other actors will be playing.

My hope for this movie is that Leia will be "the other." She's got to use a lightsaber at some point. No word yet on Billy Dee Williams returning as Lando Calrissian, or any other cast members (I am sure there is more that will still be revealed). More updates are forthcoming and will be mentioned and added to this page. Stay tuned, and consider my interest renewed in this series.

Unpleasant Million Dollar Hotel

NIGHT AT THE GOLDEN EAGLE (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

If you wanted to see a film set in skid row then "Night at the Golden Eagle" is the film for you. Seeped and drenched in solarized, sepia colors, "Night at the Golden Eagle" is an attempt to see the seamier side of life. I don't object to such films unless there is no core of humanity or degree of human sensibility. The Golden Eagle hotel is not a place I'd spend a night in.

The film is set in an L.A. fleabag hotel, the kind where those with lost dreams reside (think "Million Dollar Hotel"). One of the dreamers is Mic (Vinny Argiro), a former crook who wants to live the good life in Vegas. He's reunited with another former crook, Tommy (Donnie Montemarano), who's just gotten out of jail and his first thought is to steal a car. The hotel they stay in is festering with all forms of lowlifes and dreamers to be sure. There is a sneering pimp (Vinnie Jones from "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"), two hookers (Ann Magnuson and Natasha Lyonne), a former tap-dancing legend, Fayard Nicholas, another lost soul who spends an eternity watching TV in the lobby, and I am afraid to say, not much more.

"Night at the Golden Eagle" doesn't aim to dwell into these hotel guests because the characters are nothing more than types, not real people. I like some of the camaraderie and growing friction between Mic and Tommy and their aspirations to live the good life in Sin City, but they never grow beyond the one-dimensional stage.When a murder takes place that involves one of these crooks, their growing banter quickly becomes tedious because we barely care about them (and one of them could care less about the murder). The prostitutes, including a pubescent girl, are reduced to fodder for those who think prostitutes are not real people. In fact, writer-director Adam Rifkin doesn't invest much emotion into anyone - they are all stereotypes who have as much purpose as several chia pets on a window sill. Either Rifkin is afraid to explore the nature of his subjects or he'd rather just shock the audience - the latter is common amongst young filmmakers today in light of the ironic edge every noir film seems to possess.

I do not resent a film that intends to present a time and place and nothing more. But even in plotless films such as, for lack of a better example, Godard's "Breathless" or Fellini's "8 1/2" or Scorsese's "Mean Streets," the people populating those films inspired some curiosity, some level of interest. In "Night of the Golden Eagle, the characters of the mean streets of L.A. would be better off occupying a video game, not a movie. "Grand Theft Auto," anyone?

Shoot it in 3 days, or else!

CORMAN'S WORLD: EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL (2011)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It is often forgotten that Roger Corman helped launch the careers of many distinguished actors and directors back in the day. The king of B movies has also been active himself for more than 60 years, ranging from producing and directing sci-fi to fantasy to action exploitation pictures to even a couple of "social message films." "Corman's World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel" aims to paint a flattering portrait of a low-budget producer who already made his 100th film by the time "The Wild Angels" was out in cinemas in 1966.

"Corman's World" covers a lot of ground as it explores the business mind behind what became the staple of low-budget filmmaking. Making a film on a shoestring budget in 3 days, and using leftover sets to make another entire picture in practically the same amount of time, is the stuff of legend and the kind of quick-thinking and on-the-nose business sense that most other independent filmmakers could only hope to aspire to. Roger Corman's list of credits are practically legendary, from having helmed cult classics such as the original "Little Shop of Horrors" to (one of my favorites) "The Terror" which starred Boris Karloff and an early performance by Jack Nicholson, not to mention "The Cry-Baby Killer"; "Piranha"; adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe including "The Pit and the Pendulum"; "Deathsport"; "Grand Theft Auto"; "Bloody Mama," and too many more to list (400-plus total). Most intriguing is the segment dealing with the controversial 1962's "The Intruder," showcasing a young William Shatner as a racist who tries to stop integration of schools in the segregated Missouri. The film was a box-office failure, one of the few exceptions in Corman's filmography, but it did hint at Corman's willingness to go beyond just sheer exploitation. He was also instrumental in getting foreign films noticed through his company New World Pictures, with films like Ingmar Bergman's "Cries and Whispers" and Federico Fellini's "Amarcord" (some of these films were actually shown at drive-ins!)

"Corman's World" features dynamite, in-depth interviews from luminaries such as Jack Nicholson, Martin Scorsese (who correctly identifies Corman's work as a different kind of "art"), Joe Dante, Ron Howard, Peter Bogdanovich, David Carradine, and even Corman's own wife, Julie. All lavish nothing but praise for a man who was anything but the stereotype of a cigar-chomping, boorish producer - Roger simply knew how to get the best out of actors and directors and hoped they would migrate to "A" movies.

There is a brief, honest and rather mind-blowing section dealing with how Hollywood megahits of the mid-to-late 70's, ostensibly B movies in their own right like "Jaws" and "Star Wars," made huge profits with bigger budgets, eradicating the low-budget model set by Roger Corman and eviscerating the drive-in market. It is upsetting and as Corman astutely pinpoints, there is no reason to spend millions on a movie when the same money could be used in an utilitarian way, such as saving a slum and rebuilding a neighborhood. Now, the old low-budget B movies go direct to DVD or show up on Syfy channel, where Corman makes his mark on occasion. Interestingly, actor's salaries are not discussed, and we all know how much money Jack Nicholson made from his role in Tim Burton's "Batman" (a movie Corman could've directed in about the amount of time it would take for Burton to get his haircut).

If I have to nitpick, I wish there was time devoted to Corman's last directorial effort, "Frankenstein Unbound," one of the most fascinating Frankenstein adaptations ever (based on a terrific novel by Brian Aldiss). Also, his 1994 "Fantastic Four" film (heavily lambasted by comic fans at conventions) could've used a little exposure. These films and many others showed Roger Corman was a force to be reckoned with, a man who loved movies and loved making them. It showed, and it explains why Jack Nicholson sheds a tear for his old mentor. 

Martian warriors destroy Rover

GHOSTS OF MARS (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2002)

The great John Carpenter film awaits a cinema near you. "Halloween," "Assault on Precinct 13," "In the Mouth of Madness" and "Starman" were a few stellar examples but mostly we have been saddled with fascinating experiments like "Village of the Damned," "The Thing" and grave disappointments like "Prince of Darkness" and "Vampires." And like it or not, Carpenter knows how to use his resources to stir and entertain when he does it right. "Ghosts of Mars" is no classic by any stretch of the imagination but it is a marked improvement over "Vampires" and has some nifty ideas and fun performances.

Essentially a western taking place on the planet Mars, we have Lt. Melanie Ballard (Natasha Henstridge) and other members of a police force including Commander Helena Braddock (Pam Grier) and Bashira Kincaid (Clea Duvall) as they travel by train to some mining colony where a supposedly notorious killer, "Destination" Williams, is being held (played by Ice Cube, who continues to surprise me in every film role). Oh, lest we forget there is a male in this small police force played by Jason Statham ("Snatch") who makes sexual remarks to Lt. Ballard at his every convenience. Meanwhile, just as Ballard's force is ready to take Williams and bring him to justice, a force is unleashed that awakens Martian warriors who love to decapitate humans and shout as loudly as Ozzy Osbourne. These ghosts have the ability of taking over the minds of the miners on this colony and all hell breaks loose. Lots of gunfire and karate kicks ensue.

"Ghosts of Mars" should not be mistaken for an intellectual sci-fi film but rather an in-your-face action melodrama with lots of special effects. One of the best effects scenes takes place when an archaeologist, Professor Whitlock (Joanna Cassidy), crash lands on the possessed colony in her air balloon. I also love all the train scenes since they are the quietest scenes in the movie, allowing us to explore the characters' personalities and interaction. For a while, the film aims to be a character-oriented update of "Assault on Precinct 13" by way of Howard Hawks's "Rio Bravo" but when the action scenes start, they take over the movie and become the focus. Nothing wrong with that though I never really thought of Carpenter as an action director, despite his "Escape to New York." His talent lies in horror and some scenes inside the mines made me jump.

On a fundamental level, "Ghosts of Mars" is lots of fun to watch and has commanding actors at the forefront (though I found it cruel to see Duvall and Grier given such short-shrift in their roles). Henstridge plays a woman of authority and strong will and Ice Cube gets to show what a continuingly strong presence he has on screen - both characters could stand on their own as the leads of a movie. Maybe in the sequel.

Run Baby Run

THE WARD (2010)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

There is no doubt that a horror movie about a mental ward facility has been done before. Samuel Fuller's "Shock Corridor" is the most horrific and scariest example, along with a semi-remake of sorts, "Shutter Island" (though the latter is based on an equally creepy novel). Novel twist endings at such wards are not an uncommon practice - we have seen them before and can predict them with ease. So can director John Carpenter make it sing, or sink? He makes it sing. "The Ward" is an elegant, frightful horror flick done with the brio of a real master, and among Carpenter's best films since "In the Mouth of Madness."

Amber Heard is a traumatized woman running away from something, though we are not sure what. She burns down a farmhouse in the opening scene where something clearly traumatic had occurred there.  Cut to North Bend Psychiatric Hospital where Heard, playing a woman named Kristen, is held in a mental ward along with four other troubled girls. Kristen doesn't want to be at the loony bin (pardon the parlance) but then again, what mental patient doesn't say such things?  The other girls who hope to be promptly released include: Iris (Lyndsy Fonseca), a sketch artist; Zoey (Laura-Leigh), a near-mute who clutches a stuffed doll and suffers from arrested development;  Emily (Mamie Gummer, Meryl Streep's daughter), the toughie who taunts the others, and Sarah (Danielle Panabaker) who tries to woo one of the orderlies. All of them seem to come out of the 60's period though more modern Amber Heard look a little out of place, or maybe that is the idea. Rounding out the rest of the hospital's small staff includes Dr. Stringer (Jared Harris), who tries to help his patients yet is not above providing shock treatment (remember, this film is set in 1966). Oh, and there is a Nurse Ratched as well, but she is hardly as wretched.

Some may see "The Ward" as "Identity" crossed with "Girl, Interrupted" spiked with an extra touch of malice. I see it as John Carpenter's return to form, providing us with a dank, almost forbidden sense of atmosphere and a few well-executed scares that really come out of nowhere. Most important is that Carpenter and writers Michael and Shawn Rasmussen makes us care for all the female patients - we cling to them and hope that Kristen, in particular, gets away. "The Ward" also throws in moments that toy with us a little, like the girls dancing to the Newbeats' "Run, Baby, Run." The movie, though not as wholly original or as striking in its visual design as "Shock Corridor" or "Shutter Island," is a welcome return to horror that is neither geeky nor full of grisly, gratuitous gore. Instead, it will make your skin crawl.

Take pills, feel nicer

TERRI (2011)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Terri (Jacob Wysocki) is a heavy-set high-school kid who is indifferent to his surroundings. When he walks to school, he dresses in pajamas and angrily tosses his knapsack on the field. When Terri is home, he cares for his Uncle James (Creed Bratton) who needs his meds to stay sharp, but otherwise the old man is an emotionless vegetable. Terri also plants mouse traps in his house and reads "Gulliver's Travels." Anything, one would assume, to bring some light into this dreary world.

"Terri" is the kind of independent picture that I have heard people groan on about. It is small-town life where everything is offbeat and where "stuff happens" that could only appeal to those who have outgrown Hollywood fantasies. Only "Terri" deals with details of small-town life and high-school in an implicit comical manner. Take the character of Heather (Olivia Crocicchia), a young girl who succumbs to getting fingered during cooking class by a male high-school student. There is something funny about the fact that this girl thinks such a public act of indecency wouldn't induce wandering eyes, especially Terri's. When Terri has to visit the assistant principal once a week (the principal is played by John C. Reilly), the school official occasionally wears shades and mimics shouting at his students to please his slowly- withering-away secretary.

Most of the film "Terri" tells its story in an unhurried and very matter-of-factly manner. One extended sequence stands out where Terri, Heather and another troubled outcast, Chad (Bridger Zadina), drink some whisky and take some pills to feel "nicer." It is a startling sequence because it is a bit unsettling and we think it will end one way, and it does not. No scene in "Terri" ever feels insincere or out of place or predictable. When Terri decides to defend Heather in class, he picks up a pair of sunglasses and mimics an embarrassing TV commercial pitch.

Terri himself begins to see change in his own life when he develops three new friendships, especially with the sympathetic assistant principal. Only the film is not willing to see that change as life-affirming or earth-shakingly revolutionary, merely a stepping stone. As a film, "Terri" is filled with small pleasures and one wishes there was more, more time spent with any of these intimate characters. As written and directed by Azazel Jacobs, the running time feels like it is just enough of a stepping stone to a greater film. The fact that I wanted more is the mark of a real talent, who genuinely loves his characters and empathizes with them.