Go with God my troubled antiheroes

HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Some movies are meant to be enjoyed with beer and pizza. These movies are ostensibly junky, fast-food entertainments that provide no value other than watching antiheroes joking with each other, shooting at bad guys, cavorting women or lost loves, and a decent soundtrack with songs that remind you of being out on the road to nowhere. "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" is one of those movies. It is unpretentious and devotedly and stringently buddy-buddy in a genre that was on the way out in the early 90's.

Mickey Rourke is Harley, the biker who lives for nothing other than the thrill of the chase, I gather. He is seen cavorting with women in some hotel room, late at night. When he sees thieves attempting to rob a convenience store, Harley tackles them single handedly, reminding us of the cliche line: "You know this is not the first time that a gun was pointed at my head."

Don Johnson is the Marlboro Man, a former rodeo star who duct tapes his worn-out boots. He pines for a female cop named Virginia Slim (I shat you not!), played by Chelsea Field, who can't endure his absence much longer from her lonely bed.

The bare minimum of a plot has Harley and Marlboro Man robbing an armored truck carrying 2.5 million dollars that will help save a friend's biker bar (this bar still has the body of a cargo plane trapped in it). The bar apparently owes to the very bank Harley and Marlboro are robbing. Only problem is that our less than dynamic duo has robbed the wrong truck since all they acquire are bags of a new synthetic drug hitting the streets. This corrupt bank headed by a young Tom Sizemore leads to his minions, dressed in black and bulletproof trenchcoats, to try to whack the smoking duo. Yep, Harley and Marlboro Man smoke a lot in this movie. And everyone's name is a cigarette brand. You can thank screenwriter Don Michael Paul for all the cigarette references.

This is probably a movie that I should despise yet Rourke and Johnson have good chemistry and keep us awake in the midst of cliches you have seen a million times before. A death-defying jump into a pool from a hotel roof that is at least 70 stories high is hard to swallow, especially when they emerge unscathed from the pool. Harley can't shoot straight at all until the plot requires him to shoot straight. You also know Marlboro Man and Virginia Slim will end up together (A sentence I never imagined constructing in my life). It is also sweet to see Daniel Baldwin as a bad guy who seems geared to appear in a "Terminator" sequel (yes, Virginia Slim, he is that robotic). There is also a strange coincidence concerning Chelsea Field's Virginia who has a line that goes something like this: "You weren't around. I was lonely." This is her response to why she is getting married, which Mr. Marlboro ain't happy about. What is odd is that Chelsea Field later appeared in "The Last Boy Scout," released a few months after this movie, where she utters the same exact lines!

"Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" is neither too trashy or exploitative, nor too serious or too unintentionally comical. It is what it is and makes no apologies. Pure junk-food entertainment.

In a 100 years, who's gonna care?

THE TERMINATOR (1984)

An Appreciation by Jerry Saravia

For relentless, exciting, edge-of-your-seat action sequences alone, "The Terminator" would fit the bill neatly as an adrenaline pumping action picture. Only James Cameron's 1984 sci-fi picture is more than that, it is a love story between two opposites who hold the key to the future, a future that is not so bright. And there just happens to be a killing machine in between them.

As with any appreciation for a film thirty years old that was extraordinarily influential (and where fantasist author Harlan Ellison rightly got his credit where it was due), there is nothing I can say about "The Terminator" that hasn't been said before. "The Terminator" led to four sequels (new sequel has Arnie back as the Terminator again), a famous catchphrase "I'll Be Back," and it put Arnold Schwarzenegger and director James Cameron on the map in a major way. When I first saw it in 1984, I approached the film as a gritty futuristic noir, namely Tech Noir (the name of a nightclub in the film), where a soldier from the future, the emotionally battered and bruised Kyle (Michael Biehn), travels to the past to prevent a cyborg killing machine (Schwarzenegger) from killing sweet waitress Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), the future mother of a resistance leader of a post-apocalyptic future. That is right, sometime in the near future, nuclear bombs are dropped and result in a world where the machines rule everything.

As relentless as "The Terminator" is, writers James Cameron and Gale Hurd also invest wisely into the developing relationship between Kyle and Sarah. Kyle and Sarah are two lost souls who have found each other through the unfortunate experience of a killing machine who makes Michael Myers look like a weak Mummy knockoff. Sarah can't get a date on a Friday night, can't balance her checkbook and has difficulty waitressing - she is not exactly prime material for the mother of a future leader. Yet that is what makes the character work so well - Linda Hamilton plays her as a soulful, caring woman who has found out her singular purpose. Kyle is a wreck of a man who has seen too much death and too little love - his world is grim and his visions of destructive machines and an array of skulls littering up roads is scary and poetic. The love story that develops lends the film weight and we root for them to survive the throes of the Terminator.

Schwarzenegger has the accurate look of a mean machine - his body language and his voice are as purposefully robotic as ever. When he kills innocent victims, as in the chilling scene where he shoots the wrong Sarah Connor, he brings fear into all of us because the murders are so realistically done. He is unstoppable and every scene of Arnie works up a feverish sweat.

Cameron's "Terminator" is not perfect but it is a lean machine of a movie, mutually scary, thrilling, poignant and quite funny (check out the two cops played by Paul Winfield and Lance Henriksen). It lead to bigger spectacles in its sequels and more epic action scenes, but nothing beats the original for its dark vision of a world where a family gathers outside in a nuclear apocalypse and watches a television that has a fire inside to keep them warm. What a vision, what a movie. 

This House is too sweet for its own good

HOUSE OF D (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(Originally written in 2004)

David Duchovny is Tommy, an artist in Paris who is late to take his son for a bike ride to celebrate the kid's 13th birthday, or so I figure. Tommy can't get inside his apartment since he presumably forgot his keys or his wife has locked him out. His son stays sleeping on the bench in a patio. Only in France. Then Tommy tells his French wife the secrets of his teenage years in New York City that he never told her before. I wonder why.

It isn't that "House of D" is an insufferably saccharine film - it just compresses too much information in too short a running time. As the film takes us back to NYC in 1973, we see a teen in his twilight years. He is Tommy (Anton Yelchin), who attends a Catholic school and lives at home with a suicidal, widowed mother (Tea Leoni). She smokes a lot and has a habit of dumping her cigs in the toilet. She also has a habit of walking in on her son taking a shower. Tommy's best friend is Papass (Robin Williams, in a cringe-inducing performance), a mentally challenged assistant janitor at the Catholic School Tommy attends. Tommy and Papass try to save money to buy a bike, though most days are spent going to the movies. They do work at the neighborhood grocery store, making deliveries of various meats including bratwurst. There is also Tommy's crush on a Catholic schoolgirl (beautifully played by Zelda Williams, Robin's daughter); his frequent talks with an incarcerated woman named Lady (Erykah Badu) who can only see his reflection on a shard of glass; Papass stealing the very bicycle that he and Tommy were going to purchase; Papass growing jealous of Tommy because he is entering manhood, Tommy's mother in crying fits and taking pills, etc. None of these events are as credible as Tommy's relationship with his mother but we only get a trickle of their relationship, rather than a downpour. Then there is a tragedy that involves one too many episodes in such a short amount of time that you'll be gasping for air.

"House of D" wants to be a rich coming-of-age tale but it doesn't have much of a hold on any of its characters. We know Tommy can draw, loves his mother, and loves and protects Papass to the moon but there is nothing to chew on - these characters are devoid of any real emotional investment. However, there is a tangible sadness towards the end when we see Duchovny (who also wrote and directed this film) as the older Tommy, trying to settle his past or leave it behind him. But nothing comes of it since it simply assumes we will get the point. But what is the point when it gets drowned in forced sentimentality and has a much older (and boozed up) Papass saying all the right things in all the right places. Sounds like audience manipulation at its worst.

A few years ago, there was a nostalgic coming of age film that was told with such sweetness and sincerity that it refused to fold under the sentimentalist banner. That film was "A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries," one of the great films of the 1990's. "House of D" can't even approximate a tenth of what that film accomplished.

Divorced Family Ties

BYE BYE LOVE (1995)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When a movie looks, acts and feels like a commercial, then it must be a commercial. When a movie looks, acts and feels like a sitcom, then it must be a sitcom. "Bye Bye Love" manages to be a commercial for a movie we never get to see, complete with an endless commercial product plug for McDonald's.

Three divorced dads (Matthew Modine, Randy Quaid and Paul Reiser) spend the movie picking up their kids at McDonald's and eating at McDonald's and arguing at McDonald's, sometimes with their kids and sometimes with their ex-wives. Quaid's character despises his wife (Lindsay Crouse) and nearly destroys her house; Modine's character cheated on his wife (Amy Brenneman) and asks all the neighborhood moms over to his house (though whether he intends to screw them all or not is unclear), and lastly there is Paul Reiser who just wants his wife back (played by Jayne Brook who brightened my "Chicago Hope" TV viewings). Reiser's dad doesn't get along with his insolent daughter (Eliza Dushku) and incidents involving a stolen car and a house party never evolve realistically - all it requires is a solution involving a heart-to-heart talk in a treehouse!

There is one character that rises above the mediocrity and that is the late Ed Flanders as a retiree who works at McDonald's - his character's wife had passed on and he lives all alone. There is genuine, implied heartbreak and pathos with this "geezer" that all these other stock characters could learn so much from.

I do not hate "Bye Bye Love" and it is a likable, harmless enough picture. But it is just that - simply likable sans gravitas (strange coming from "Family Ties" creator and writer Gary David Goldberg). The movie coasts by on being cute and sweet with the simple homily that parents loving their kids defines them - the women in this movie are somehow foreign, shallow creatures who can't comprehend a divorced man's world (Janeane Garofalo as Quaid's date from hell, as funny as it is, falls in that category). Dishonest is being kind.

Nolan's Nightmute noir

INSOMNIA (2002)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Original review from 2002)

Usually a promising independent director takes a wrong turn when he goes for the big leagues. Thankfully, that is not the case with director Christopher Nolan who made a big splash with the complex, suspenseful "Memento" in 2001 - the one film of the year that was talked about all year round. "Insomnia" is a remake of a 1997 Norwegian thriller unseen by me, but if it is half as psychologically complex or as thrillingly conveyed as this film, I suppose I will have to make a visit to the video store soon.

Al Pacino plays yet another cop, this time a veteran with a deeply troubling moral complex who has fostered a career of catching serial killers. As soon as Will Dormer (Pacino) arrives in Nightmute, Alaska, to investigate the brutal murder of a teenage girl, we already sense he has seen too much in his work and is exhausted by the sheer banality of the job. In this case, the town itself lends even more exhaustion to Will. You see Nightmute is a town where in the winter, the nights are always bright. Will can't take it, trying to cover his hotel windows with pillows and sheets but it is no use. He fails to sleep and develops insomnia.

Will arrives in this town with his partner, Hap Eckhart (Martin Donovan, who appears to be in a somnolent state), both from the LAPD. Hap is ready to cut a deal back home with the Internal Affairs department over Will's tampering with evidence from prior cases. Will can't take it, and an accident involving Hap while searching for the killer in a rain-drenched, rocky, remote area of Alaska sinks Will even deeper into insomnia and moral dilemmas.

Two people catch on to Will's secrets. One is a smart, quick-learning rookie (Hilary Swank), who learns as much about Will's persona as she does about Will's police training. The other is the killer himself, a second-rate mystery writer, Walter Finch (Robin Williams), who discovers that Hap's accident was no accident at all, and tries to clear himself of the murdered girl by using Will. The twists pile up, Will's insomnia grows out of control, and an innocent person may go to jail instead of Walter. Where will all this lead? Somewhere between the murdered girl's ex-boyfriend and her own best friend, but that is just the beginning.

"Insomnia" does not submit to the usual cliches found in any typical thriller involving cops and serial killers. The climax also doesn't evolve in a typical fashion. The strength of the film lies in its psychological profiles of its two main characters, Will and Walter. Their cat-and-mouse game is strictly dependent on their personalities and their actions, not motivated by twists generated by the screenwriter to be as superfluous and precious as possible. Also worth mentioning is how the film deals with Will's immoral actions, as we sense that his flaws and screwy ethics could slowly conspire against him. We also begin to feel some measure of pity for Walter, despite his murderous, controlled rage. In short, Williams does not play the killer as a menacing psycho with obvious psychological and mental problems - he plays him as the recluse he is with some measure of restraint. Pacino has a few moments where he hollers but it all comes from his inability to sleep and to deal with his past indiscretions. To say that Pacino and Williams have never been better is to state the obvious - they have given their very best performances by far.

It helps that director Nolan knows how to handle the mood and atmosphere, as well as the actors. From slippery rocks to torn down cabins to floating logs to a stunning opening sequence involving snowy formations along the Alaskan border, "Insomnia" feels as close to a bleak noir thriller as "Fargo" did, using daylight as evocative of danger as the nighttime. In one gripping scene, we see floating logs that keep colliding and preventing the desperate Will from rising to the surface of the water - it is as riveting as scenes like it go.

"Insomnia" is a first-class thriller, expertly shot and staged and acted. Thanks to director Nolan, Pacino, Williams and the rest of the fine cast, this film is as good as mainstream thrillers can get. Rarely do character nuance and observation seem as thrilling as they do here.

Fargo in Alaska

THE BIG WHITE (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"The Big White" is as much a homage to the Coen Brothers as it is its own movie. Still, ripping off "Fargo" with some clear delineations doesn't render it as a bad film - just a solid effort that could've been so much more.

Robin Williams is Paul, a near-bankrupt travel agent living in the icy world of Alaska. He has a wife, Margaret (Holly Hunter), who walks around the wintry roads with her pajamas, is disorganized around the kitchen and is afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome. One night, Paul discovers a dead body in the dumpster and passes it off as his long- lost brother so he can collect from an insurance policy worth one million dollars. Of course, he has hit a snag since the corpse is not his dead brother since the hitmen who killed this anonymous person are trying to find the body. Then there is the insurance agent (Giovanni Ribisi) who suspects foul play and, to make matters worse, Paul's real brother (Woody Harrelson) suddenly shows up in town. This definitely is Coen territory.

Unfortunately, director Mark Myloyd chooses to up the ante on riffs borrowed from "Fargo." The hit men are clumsy and stupid, just like the ones in "Fargo" (though one of them tries to be a good cook). Paul's character is not so different from William H. Macy's own Lundegaard, though Williams is far more restrained. And lastly there is the landscape, which is not as much of a character as Minnesota was in "Fargo."

The one refreshing aspect to "The Big White" is the dynamic, bouncy charm of Holly Hunter. She dominates the screen and proves her worth in gestures and body language - a character who is suffering yet she does a good job of hiding it. One wonders if the Tourette's is an actual symptom or just some other gradual mental illness. Her Margaret is an original that is coming from a better movie. I didn't dislike "The Big White" and I enjoyed the performances, but it is merely a faint echo of "Fargo." Had the movie focused on these characters instead of all this insurance and ransom business, it might have been a real offbeat winner.

Poop and Robin Williams spell trouble

RV (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Predictable poop, both the overall movie and the content of one shot. It seems any movie about a family going on vacation or simply staying home or involving bratty teenagers involves some poop joke. We had it in "Meet the Parents" (which had correctly timed flying poop, if there is such a thing) and the "Shrek" movies (even "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" had Jar-Jar stepping on some feces, and let's not leave out Marty McFly in "Back to the Future Part III"). It is a desperate gag that seems to work best in "Family Guy" than it does in the movies. For a movie like "RV," you would've hoped for a little more inspiration considering Robin Williams stars in it. Then again, the poop out-stages Williams which is not a good sign.

"RV" starts off with a whiff of inspiration in the first scene. Williams plays Bob Munro, a devoted family man who does impersonations with plushy dolls to give his daughter, Cassie, a good laugh. She loves it and she says she doesn't want to get married. Bob tells her it is good to be married, and they will always be best friends. Then we flash forward to his daughter as a typical teenager (Joanna "JoJo" Levesque) who hates him. Rather than staying true to their relationship, the movie goes all over the map. Never content to be a family vacation movie like Chevy Chase's own "National Lampoon" films, the movie develops a plot that borders on idiocy. You see, Bob Munro's job is in jeopardy and in order to rescue himself out of losing his home and his family, he agrees to make a presentation in Boulder, Colorado for his sneakily mean-spirited boss Todd (Will Arnett, who at this point can play this role in his sleep). This means the planned vacation trip to Hawaii is off, so Bob tells his family that they are going to Colorado, in a rented RV no less! The wife hates the ideas, as does the kids.

There is a Murphy's Law in comedies starring Robin Williams, and this one starts off with one hazardous event after another. Bob has problems maneuvering the RV from his own driveway. He can barely drive it on the highway. They stay at an RV park which involves the dreaded poop joke - this time, involving some complicated hoses that need to drain poop and sewage (There is even a reference to a poop fairy). Then the Munro family meets one kooky, extremely friendly family, the Gornickes, specifically Travis and Mary Jo (both exceedingly well-played by Jeff Daniels and Kristin Chenoweth). They perform country songs together, live off of their mobile home that looks more like a bus selling franchise products. Their horn plays the first five notes of the "Star Trek" theme. This is a fun, original family that seem to be coming from a better movie, one that the Munros are unwisely trying to get away from.

To be fair, "RV" has some funny moments, mostly thanks to Robin Williams. I love when Williams is searching for a signal so he can email his presentation to his boss - not too many cell phone towers in the desert. I also like watching Williams struggling with a seatbelt or doing his "homeboy" routine. Also worth watching is a terrific scene where the RV is tilting and rocking back and forth on a peak in Diablo Pass - it is a Chaplinesque and Homer Simpsonesque moment.

But the movie never really carries itself and roars with comic possibilities. Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, it too often feels flat and stillborn, something that you would not say about the early "National Lampoon Vacation" movies or even the recent and far superior "Little Miss Sunshine," a delectably funny road movie. The Munro kids look like superficial, well-fed, bland kids with little to no personality. Williams seems content to play it safe, which means a witless, stock family guy with no quirks other than pretending to take a dump in the woods. Huh? Why did they hire Robin Williams to play this role? And poor Cheryl Hines as Jamie, Bob's wife, appears as if she would rather join the Gornicke family. So would I.