Rob Zombie's Clownish Chainsaw Massacre

HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (2003)

Re-Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

There have been so many variations on the stranded-kids-in-the-middle-of-nowhere scenario that, well, you can only come up with so many variations. Rob Zombie's directorial debut film, "House of 1000 Corpses," is stylish and even if it adds nothing new to the scenario except more of the usual cruel humor and occasional gory highlights, it works on your nerves like a punch to the solar plexus. It is far more of an improvement on second viewing.

The typical scenario has four young foolish people travelling on the road to discover the urban legend of Dr. Satan. Supposedly, Dr. Satan performed experiments on human guinea pigs involving dismemberment, disembowelment and who knows what else. So they stop at a chicken-takeout/gas station/haunted theatre called Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen (the owner is wonderfully played by Sid Haig). They are lured into a ride of horrors that include wax figures of real-life murderers such as Ed Gein, Lizzie Borden and, naturally, the fictitious Dr. Satan. After the amusement ride is over, the four agree to go the woodsy area where Dr. Satan was supposedly hanged. They pick up a blonde hitchhiker (Sheri Moon) who has a knack for heavy rock and roll. Of course, their car gets a flat (thanks to a shotgun blast during a rainy night which nobody hears) and they end up at the blonde girl's residence, a spooky house occupied by the blonde's flirtatious mom (Karen Black), a deaf, deformed giant named Tiny (Matthew McGrory) and a blonde madman wearing spooky contact lenses and sporting a "Burn the Flag" T-shirt named Otis (Bill Moseley).

Most of "House of 1000 Corpses" is blackly comical and often too hyperbolic. It is the equivalent of a rock music video with interspersed clips of superior horror movies (including "The Old Dark House"), grainy footage and other film stocks, not unlike what Oliver Stone might have done had he directed this. None of it is remotely scary, and maybe it isn't meant to be. Even the cliched false alarms and the "who's there" shenanigans aren't very well executed but perhaps that is on purpose. The two young couples are the most innocent and annoying of victims, and they hardly merit any sympathy. The black humor runs too high and the gory killings, played against rock music and asynchronous Satanic readings, feel out-of-date and repetitious. I know this is set in the 1970's and that this is Rob Zombie's zany homage to those splatter flicks but he could have benefited from the most tried-and-true rule of horror - less is infinitely more.

The best thing about this movie is Sid Haig, last seen in various cult films and blaxploitation fare. He has fun with his role and brings it the relish and humor one might expect from an atypical clown character like Captain Spaulding. Bill Moseley seems to be treading on his "Chop Top" character from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" (which this movie clearly resembles), yet he has a menacing stare. Karen Black and Sheri Moon run the gamut of overly theatrical to highly overly theatrical and may grate the nerves after a while, yet they still chill the bone. However, Sheri Moon's lip-synched rendition of "I Wanna Be Loved By You" is hysterically gaudy stuff.

"House of 1000 Corpses" is occasionally frightful and moodily photographed (though the zoom lens is overused), but it is just a maniacal, cartoonish, out-of-control carnival rather than a horror movie. High octane doesn't always translate as unruly intensity but it has the icky spirit of the best "Chainsaw Massacre" films. On that level, it is worthwhile but it is too hyperbolic for the average horror fan.

Warriors for hire

RONIN (1998)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(Originally reviewed in 1998)

The element of surprise has disappeared in modern action thrillers. We see the usual thunderous explosions and gunfights bereft of any decent plot or character exposition. Mostly, we get thrill rides that aim mainly to please the eye, not unlike the summer of 1998's experiment in overkill, "Armageddon." "Ronin" is not exempt from the aforementioned expectations of your average action thriller, but it is executed with a finesse in its strategy to thrill us - it does it without CGI effects or special-effects of any kind. That in itself is commendable.

The term Ronin refers to Japanese legend where the Japanese samurai, left with no leaders to lead them, roamed the countryside acting as warriors-for-hire. This legend was prominently featured in Akira Kurosawa's great "The Seven Samurai" and "Yojimbo" - the latter remade as "A Fistful of Dollars." "Ronin's" version of the story deals with a band of mercenaries who are looking to be hired, and find work courtesy of an IRA honcho named Deirdre (Natascha McElhone). The job is to obtain a mysterious briefcase, which is in the hands of "five to eight men." That's the slim plot in a nutshell, and the mercenaries set out to find the briefcase braving one shootout, car chase and double cross after another. Who ever said you could trust mercenaries who just want to make a quick buck?

The international group of macho warriors-for-hire includes Sam (played by Robert De Niro), who may be ex-CIA and has a way with a cup of coffee; a psychotic Russian computer expert named Gregor (Stellan Skarsgård); a hulking Frenchman named Vincent (Jean Reno playing virtually the same role as in "Mission Impossible"); and a very fast driver named Larry (Skip Suduth), who has a way with the narrow roads and tunnels in Paris (shades of Princess Di's death come to mind).

"Ronin" could almost be a James Bond thriller considering its numerous locations (Nice, Paris) and assortment of artillery (machine guns, bazookas), but it fits more squarely in the tradition of the espionage thriller genre. Examples of this type of genre extend from Hitchcock's "Sabotage" to "The Day of the Jackal." "Ronin" is directed by the exciting John Frankenheimer ("The Manchurian Candidate") and he milks the formula for all the atmosphere and intrigue you can get. At times, "Ronin" is vaguely European in its steely attitude and tough-as-nail characters, including the deadly Gregor who has no qualms of shooting a child in an open playground, or the Irish female leader who may not be quite what she seems.

"Ronin" is filled with car chases galore but it is at its best during its calm moments, some vaguely humorous. I liked the scene where Sam and Deirdre pose as a couple at a hotel so they can snap shots of one of the "five to eight men." I thoroughly enjoyed the camaraderie between the members of the group, who size each other up uncovering one's weaknesses and one's strengths. But there are two sequences that must be seen to be believed: one is an elaborate setup involving a Parisian bistro that is as perfectly timed and edited as anything Hitchcock might have attempted, and the other is when the wounded Sam is giving instructions to Vincent on how to retract a bullet lodged on his side. This one sequence features the brilliant British actor Michel Londsdale ("The Bride Wore Black") as a doctor whose hobby is designing samurai figures.

"Ronin" has too many chase sequences, and a scantily designed plot, but it's always enticing, breathtaking, and watchable. The cast is watchable, too, and De Niro's commanding presence (playing an action hero for the first time) and Frankenheimer's alert direction make up for the brief lapses in plausibility.

Exorcising a mental illness

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"The Exorcism of Emily Rose" is trying to make the case that possession might indeed be real. I understand that the fictional "The Exorcist" wanted to show possession as a nightmarish reality (and it made its case as harrowingly realistic as it could be, even though I do not believe in possession) but "Emily Rose" is supposedly based on real events, and therein lies the rub.

Father Richard Moore (Tom Wilkinson) has been accused of negligent homicide in the death of Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter), a college student who may have been possessed by demons. Her death happened during the exorcism, but was she actually possessed or did she suffer from some form of psychosis and epilepsy? Most people who suffer from such horrid conditions don't suddenly have their eyes turn black or contort their bodies in ways that could result in spinal breakage, nor do they utter foreign languages they have never spoken. Aye, but therein once again lies the rub. Emily has learned other languages, especially German, so there is the distinct possibility she is going through a psychosis. That is what agnostic defense lawyer, Erin Bruner (Laura Linney), is initially trying to prove until she decides to prove that Emily really was possessed. Father Moore believes so, and maybe Erin wants to believe it. The prosecution feels otherwise.

"Exorcism of Emily Rose" is not a full-throttle, quaking-in-your-boots horror flick but it does have its nailbiting moments (it is based on the true case of Anneliese Michel). Mostly, it is your basic courtroom drama with consistent flashbacks to Emily's condition (and only fleetingly before the madness began). But the movie never makes a distinction between the possession and the epilepsy - it is assumed Emily was definitely possessed. I wish the movie gave us a choice and it is hard to counter the notion that six demons took possession of her body. When Emily jumps out of a window from the second floor of the house and runs into a barn, we can't assume it is anything but. When Erin Bruner hears the tape recorder play itself or her watch stops at 3 am (the devil's hour), there is no mistaking the Devil is at play here.

Fascinating and intriguing and often intensely frightful minus any gore (unless you can't handle Emily eating bugs), "Exorcism of Emily Rose" is a decent horror flick and an absorbing courtroom drama (unusual mix for this kind of schlock). Jennifer Carpenter delivers a sonic boom to the nerves - she is startlingly effective and made me have goosebumps. I only wish that since this is based on true events, we got a more evenhanded exploration of any medical condition that could explain Emily Rose's outbursts. 

Honest Abe striving for the 13th amendment

LINCOLN (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
Note: This review is reprinted with permission by Steel Notes Magazine, who have just given me my own movie review column. Review at this marvelous magazine can be found here.

There are profound moments in Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" that make the hairs in the back of your neck stand on end, that demonstrate an insatiable need to correct an unethical dilemma. These moments happen so frequently that they illustrate, perhaps for the first time in a long while in cinema, the significance of Congress and the House of Representatives and their roles in changing history. If the film had simply been about the House debates and decisions with regards to slavery, it would be simply remarkable. The fact that it also illustrates President Abraham Lincoln's own categorical persuasiveness and depth of understanding about slavery makes it masterful.

In the opening moments of "Lincoln," the Civil War is being fought with the soldiers drenched in rain and muddy waters, echoing Orson Welles' own "Chimes at Midnight" that showed the rough and clumsy nature of war. President Lincoln (Daniel Day-Lewis) is first seen talking to the troops, listening to their half-remembered memories of the President's Gettysburg Address. The black soldiers are hoping for equality and respect in fighting the war, and Lincoln talks to them with humorous asides about his barber. What is especially wonderful about these opening scenes is that it shows Lincoln's human side and his penchant for telling jokes and stories from the past - he is not simply a stoic statue that we look up to in wonder. As the film progresses, we see a Lincoln arguing with his wife, Mary Todd Lincoln (a fierce and unrelenting Sally Field that we haven't seen since "Norma Rae"), over the heartbreak over their young son's death and the issue of their eldest son's wish to fight in the war. Abe Lincoln even threatens to throw Mary back in the madhouse if she expresses more grief, particularly over their eldest and his chances of survival in the brutal war.

The film truly delves into the efforts by Lincoln and his reluctant cabinet to pass the Thirteenth Amendment, a piece of legislation designed to end slavery. Varied opinions and points-of-view are expressed, notably by Lincoln's own Secretary of State Seward (David Strathairn) who sees the end of war as the only way to end slavery. Most of Lincoln's other rivals and constituents see the President as a dictator, a conqueror of questionable moral repute when it comes to his assertion that black people are equal to whites. How dare he? The sharp and acid-tongued Pennsylvania abolitionist Thaddeus Stevens (a force-of-nature performance by Tommy Lee Jones) has worked on this amendment all his life, and finds that equality under the law as opposed to equality without it merits hopeful unanimous votes. Stevens' rousing speech delivers in ways that only Spielberg and the thunderous score by John Williams can help amplify, to make the audience see the value of equality.
If that isn't enough, we get more backroom intrigue with a quietly assured performance by Jackie Earle Haley as Alexander Stephens, the leader of the Confederate delegation who worries about the future of the South; James Spader, Tim Blake Nelson and John Hawkes as lobbyists who pressure opponents to the amendment to vote for it; Lt. Ulysses S. Grant (Jared Harris) who notices that Lincoln has aged at least a decade within a couple of years; Hal Holbrook as the Republican founder Preston Blair who opposes slavery and is weary of Radical Republicans; Gloria Reuben as former slave Elizabeth Keckley who was Mary Lincoln's confidante and seamstress, and lastly Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Robert Todd Lincoln, Lincoln's eldest son who insists on joining the war effort despite witnessing severed limbs carted away to a landfill.

"Lincoln" is not an expansive film biography of the 16th President - those have been done on TV and in the early days of Henry Fonda - but rather it focuses on the minutiae of passing a historic piece of legislation (based on a fraction of Doris Kearns Goodwin's book, "Team of Rivals," the film focuses on the last four months of the President's life). The film doesn't shy away from the naysayers of this amendment (most memorable and most thrillingly alive opponent is Lee Pace as Fernando Wood, a Democratic Congressman in verbal duels with Thaddeus) and it doesn't shy away from the emotional toll placed on the Great Emancipator. It shows the hardships involved with getting votes to right a moral wrong that festered in the United States for far too long. Daniel Day-Lewis, pitch perfect in every regard, towers above all to delineate that political struggle. Spielberg's "Lincoln" is mandatory viewing - a sensational American classic. 

Righteous Swill

RIGHTEOUS KILL (2008)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Once upon a time, there was a tremendous thrill in seeing either Robert De Niro or Al Pacino on screen. Now, for the first time, they are paired in the same movie and share scenes together (unlike "Heat," save for one scene, and "The Godfather Part II"). Alas, the exciting novelty of seeing these two iconic actors wears thin and is superfluous to decent storytelling, so much so that "Righteous Kill" feels and acts like an average crime thriller that went straight to DVD.

Detectives Turk and Rooster (respectively and respectably played by Robert De Niro and Al Pacino) are veteran cops who have seen it all. They also don't follow the rules since they plant evidence to get the bad guys of their choice. Anyway, a serial killer is on the loose, apparently killing violent offenders who get off on technicalities. The assumption is that the killer is a cop, someone with access and a grudge. Evidence seems to point at the righteous Turk. Other cops played rather respectably by John Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg also believe that it must be Turk.

Turk does have a grudge and he is shown to play against the rules, hence planting evidence (funny how a scene like that used to be considered so shocking, and now this movie treats it as if he was drinking a cup of coffee). Turk also has vigorous sex with a forensics expert (Carla Gugino), though there is not much of a relationship. She does care about him but De Niro plays Turk like an unhinged animal ready to burst. Any measure of empathy, let alone sympathy, is thrown out of the cinematic window.

"Righteous Kill" is an anonymous and bloodily thin thriller with no real story whatsoever (I love "Law and Order" and its spinoffs and there is more meat in their weekly stories overall than in this movie). De Niro merely frets and does his trademark mugging so frequently, you'd think he was priming himself up for a "Meet the Parents" sequel. Al Pacino is far more subtle yet he also grows annoying as well. Critics often lambast Pacino for ratcheting up his hollering-at-the-top-of-his-lungs routine but here, his whispers and soft inflections can also grate the nerves. That leaves Leguizamo and Wahlberg who give the film a little lift out of its doldrums - it may be sacrilege but they should've been cast in the lead roles. As for Gugino, her character is so severely underwritten that she may as well be the killer.

"Righteous Kill" is not quite disposable junk but close. De Niro and Pacino have played cops before in far superior films. Here, they are treading so much water you're almost afraid they'll drown.

Stallone and Arnie deliver the goods

ESCAPE PLAN (2013)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Back in the 1980's, the pairing of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone in a movie would have been exciting news - they were both brawny superstars of various action flicks. Sadly, in 2013, nobody gave a damn. Granted, both of them have appeared in "The Expendables" films but "Escape Plan" gives them both full-bodied leads. "Escape Plan" is also one of the best films to ever come out of either actor in a long time, an exciting, lean, thoroughly enjoyable and, dare I say, original action picture dependent on smarts, not explosions and copious CGI.

Ray Breslin (Stallone) is a master at breaking out of maximum security prisons, only he is no criminal. Ray co-owns a security firm that tests the reliability of supposedly impenetrable prisons, and proves how easily someone may escape from them (He has also written a book on how he does it). Breslin studies the ins and outs of a prison, the prison guard shifts, and unseen weaknesses with the engineering of the facility. Breslin is offered a job by the CIA to penetrate a top secret prison that exists in a place that nobody knows...nor can Breslin be tracked by his associates. When he discovers why the prison is not easy to locate, it is a shocker, at least to me, and it gives the movie a shot of adrenaline and manic urgency. Meanwhile, Ray finds an ally in his efforts to break out, a high-profile prisoner named Rottmayer (Schwarzenegger), and both feign animosity resulting in fistfights that lands both of them in solitary confinement (their actual jails have glass walls). To top it all off, the vicious warden (James Caviezel, in an atypically villainous role) wants to keep Breslin (code named "Portos") in prison forever.

Part of the fun of "Escape Plan" is watching Breslin deconstruct the prison's design in his mind. When in solitary confinement, he discovers that the intense floodlights that fill the cell can be used to burn off the steel rivets of the aluminum floors thanks to, well, MacGyver would love what Breslin uses. His observance of the armed guards and their stringent shifts, where they stand in relation to the cells, all helps Breslin figure out his escape. Only problem is where the prison is located, and I would not dream of giving that away.

Stallone's wayward career of more misses than hits is not a reason to scoff at this often ridiculed actor. I saw more nuance in his recent "Bullet to the Head" and "Rocky Balboa" than almost anything else he has done a generation ago. His deep gravelly voice demonstrates a man who has been toiling around for a while, and he is far more magnetic on screen than he has been. Ditto Schwarzenegger who has always shown ample humor and personality in droves - I favor Arnie overall but he has a compatibility with Stallone that works wonders on screen. Why this union did not happen sooner is hard to fathom (I am leaving out their few shared scenes in "The Expendables" since explosions and generic fistfights rule the day in those pictures).

For pure excitement and for some clever banter and crisp dialogue between Stallone and Schwarzenegger, "Escape Plan" is a dazzling junk-food movie treat. The extra on this supernova action-movie pairing of two titans is Vincent D'Onofrio as the co-owner of the security firm - he has a few cards up his sleeve, which is tainted with sanitizer (I'll never understand the fascination with that substance). 50 Cent, Sam Neill, Amy Ryan and Vinnie Jones make small impressions but they do not add up to much. For me, watching Stallone and Schwarzenegger plot and discuss strategies kept me riveted. That and the usual explosive ending with the attached one-liners. What else would you expect from these guys?

The Elaine Benes Story, sort of

ENOUGH SAID (2013)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

If "Enough Said" had been retitled the "Elaine Benes Story," I would not think differently of the film. Elaine Benes is undoubtedly Julia Louis-Dreyfus's most famous role from the TV sitcom, "Seinfeld." The surprise is seeing Julia Louis-Dreyfus show far more nuance than ever before, proving there are good roles for women in films after all, few they may be.

A masseuse by trade, Eva (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is a single mom raising a smart, thoughtful daughter who is ready to go to college. Eva has her friends, including Sarah (Toni Collette), who has issues with her Hispanic maid, and Will (Ben Falcone) who seems to question every phrase uttered by Sarah. When Eva meets the gregarious Albert (James Gandolfini) at a party (he works at a cultural museum of TV history), he also questions every phrase uttered by Eva after they start dating. The difference is that Albert has ample charm and a big heart, despite being divorced with a teenager who is also going away to college. At the party, Eva also meets a self-absorbed poet (Catherine Keener) who happens to know Joni Mitchell and hardly anybody else. Eva agrees to massage Marianne and, in a strange coincidence, discovers that Marianne was married to Albert - the clue has to do with Albert's need to remove onions from guacamole (which are essential to its divine taste, but never mind). So Eva has a dilemma since she chooses not to reveal to Marianne that she knows her ex, and does not reveal to Albert that she knows his ex.

Some viewers may scoff and poo-poo this sophisticated and sly romantic comedy, mainly because it deals with people who have jobs, drive hybrid cars, have money to send their daughters off to college and are mostly concerned with having a significant other. This is an L.A story about the middle class though I think it is not intended to be a liberal film from La-La Land. "Enough Said" is a sweet film with a sweet roster of actors, and in no great hurry to tell its simple story. It is about love for others, despite creating complications that could hinder relationships.  Eva is the one who creates the unneeded complications but without them, the movie would not work as well. In a subtle way that slowly reveals itself in short strokes of brilliance thanks to Dreyfus's performance and the humanistic and witty script by writer-director Nicole Holofcener, we discover that Eva may be a little unhappy and uncertain of a life where she lives alone. It threatens her existence, especially her daughter leaving for the East Coast and we see why she warms up to her daughter's best friend. Without spelling it out in exclamation marks, Eva also needs Albert for his kindness and his humor - they are a perfect fit as a couple despite her remarks about his weight.

Between Gandolfini's change-of-pace role as a man as huggable as a teddy bear (shame it is one of his last two roles before his passing) and Dreyfus's wily demeanor, "Enough Said" is an understated emotional experience. I'd give Dreyfus a big hug and an Oscar alone for the cliched airport scene where her daughter departs - Dreyfus brings such warmth and pathos to it, including the other actors, that it feels new again. "Enough Said" is not a movie enamored with itself. It is a movie enamored with being enamored. Nuff said.