Disastrous Movie Sequel

AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL (1982)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Sometimes there is no real purpose to a sequel except to rehash what worked fine the first time around. The original "Airplane!" had gags flying in and out of it, sometimes in the background too. That movie could never be topped in any way unless the original ZAZ (Zucker, Abraham, Zucker) team returned to do something more epic and insane. Their inspiration was 1957's "Zero Hour" and all those silly "Airport" flicks from the 1970's, in addition to "Saturday Night Fever" and "Jaws." The only inspiration for the makers of "Airplane II: The Sequel" was cashing in on the original. Period. Repeat some of the same gags, go back through the same waters by bringing back the same regulars, and we got a movie that repeats the same notes without the spirit of inspiration.

Robert Hays returns as the beleaguered hero of the original, Ted Striker, who has escaped from a mental institution and wants to return in the arms of Elaine, the stewardess (Julie Hagerty). She is ready to board a space shuttle that is headed to the moon. Why the moon? Because passengers pay top dollar to go and visit the lunar surface which is already occupied by a base headed by Commander Murdoch (William Shatner, who definitely gives the film a shot of adrenaline). A malfunction causes the shuttle to head right into the sun! Striker is on board to save the day.

Sonny Bono appears as a serial bomber - the only laugh derived from this character is the fact that it is played by Sonny Bono. Returnee Lloyd Bridges as air traffic commander McCroskey utters some of the same lines from the original, as does Peter Graves as the shuttle pilot who asks a young kid about a dog humping...you get the idea. The late Stephen Stucker reappears as the air-traffic controller who makes offhanded remarks that have nothing to do with airline safety, and he also gets a funny part as a courtroom clerk. Other than that, writer-director Ken Finkleman does nothing except be on autopilot - the movie is labored and mechanical and lacks the anarchy of the original. The actors play their parts like machines. The jokes fall flat, like Shatner seeing the Enterprise or the passengers playing Jeopardy! One inspired bit occurs in the background (something the movie could've used more of) where two air-traffic controllers are trying to make a pot sale while McCroskey speaks in the foreground. Mostly, "Airplane II" feels like reproduced processed cheese. It should have tasted like swiss. 

Jumping the shark is the point

SHARKNADO 3: OH, HELL NO! (2015)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

As you sit down to watch "Sharknado 3: Oh, Hell No" you can't expect anything more than an onslaught of puerile scenes that just might make you say, "Oh, Hell No!" I can't say I enjoyed this one as much as the over-the-top cartoonish mentality of the last foolhardy sequel, but nobody should resist this one for the relentless onslaught of inspired cameos and gags.

There is not much plot. Fin (Ian Ziering) is pretty much a celebrity now for having killed more sharks in those dreaded climate-change-sharknados with his trusty chainsaw than anyone else. He is presented with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by the President, naturally, played by Mark Cuban! Okay, I won't do this but every cameo in this movie should be followed by an exclamation point. Needless to say, a storm of sharknados destroys the White House, the Capitol, the Washington Monument and other historic landmarks in less than ten minutes. Ann Coulter appears as Vice President (even her Democratic friend Bill Maher would smile at that one), Lou Ferrigno is a Secret Service guard who takes a selfie with Fin (a big no-no!), Michelle Bachman plays herself, Robert Klein is the D.C. mayor, and so on. If the whole film took place in D.C., then it might have been more engaging. Instead Fin has to meet his pregnant wife, April (Tara Reid), and their daughter, Claudia (Ryan Newman - forgettable at best) at the Universal Orlando Resort, along with April's mother (thanklessly played by Bo Derek). Kim Richards is the VIP guide at the Resort who is gone far too soon.

There are a host of incredulous cameos in "Sharknado 3." My favorite might be disgraced political figure Anthony Wiener as a National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration Director...it is too funny to dismiss and possibly one of the more inspired cameos ever. Everything else in "Sharknado 3" is by rote and it doesn't have the level of cartoonish mayhem as expected from the previous films. Still, David Hasselhoff as Fin's father, who has NASA experience that leads to using the Space Shuttle to demolish a series of sharknados, proves that nothing is off-limits for complete silliness. The repeated gag from the first film of someone surviving after being swallowed by a shark is taken a few Emeril notches into absurdity. Jumping the shark in these movies is the point.

Footnote: My wife suggested that "Sharknado 4" should feature the Split Enz song "Shark Attack" by Tim Finn. Let's make it happen SyFy.

Uptown Girl wrecks rom-com cliches

TRAINWRECK (2015)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It is too soon to get a handle on what makes Amy Schumer such a twistingly funny and spirited delight - is it her combination of blonde locks and cherubic face that says, "Don't feel shame for what comes out of my mouth"? I watched the third season of her TV show, "Inside Amy Schumer," and I am not sure I can catch how she does it. The show serves as part skit, part stand-up, and partly conversational when she asks people topics that relate to the episode's humor in the streets of New York. Schumer also tackles controversial topics like rape, Bill Cosby's rape allegations and why people don't like Amy in "12 Angry Men"-style. Judd Apatow's new bracing comedy written by the comedienne, "Trainwreck," is not as controversial as the show and it is far more lighthearted and unexpectedly emotional. It is also an unexpected hoot and a half of a movie that has more depth than the average rom-com.

Amy Schumer stars as Amy, a writer for S'nuff, a magazine focusing on predominantly racy topics. When Amy is not writing, she profusely smokes pot, parties hearty, drinks like a fish and is usually spent after having anonymous sex with club dates in their apartments. There are no limits to Amy - she has no interest in romantic relationships, especially with a musclebound John Cena (absolutely hilarious) who wants marriage yet has odd sexual requests. No, Amy wants to be single and free to party! That is until she meets a Billy Joel-loving sports doctor, Aaron Conners (Bill Hader), whom she is profiling for a magazine article. Aaron and Amy seem to hit it off quickly yet she has her own special requests after sex - no breathing in her direction while sleeping in the same bed.

Anyone who watches rom-coms (I have seen one too many) knows the outcome of this relationship. The difference is in the details of the outcome. Amy Schumer serves her Amy with brains and her own attitude towards blah relationships - she views them with the same indifference and lack of emotional connection as she would the latest text or tweet. Amy is abrasive, sexually carnivorous, willing to be drugged out of her mind (though not too far in the land of Apatow) and curtails likability yet she possesses something more - charm. Even when she says filthy things or makes filthy gestures (or vomits during a knee replacement surgery), you can't help but still like Amy and be charmed. She is Sarah Silverman with a heart. Schumer and director Judd Apatow also infuse some pathos with regards to Amy - her fractured relationship with her prejudiced dad (Colin Quinn) who is in an assisted living home, and her topsy-turvy relationship to her married sister (Brie Larson) which could've used more insight. Nevertheless, Amy might be making everyone's lives miserable but you hope she rises above it all. She is not too conceited but she is self-centered, too concentrated on satisfying herself before she can satisfy anyone. It is that element that makes "Trainwreck" rise above any other mediocre romantic comedy where the woman, the scorned love object, often learns to be subservient and remain the love puppy. Except we are in the land of Schumerisms where such behavior, usually written in dishonest rom-coms from a man's perspective, isn't tolerated.

"Trainwreck" has a gallery of earned laughs from a juicy supporting cast. An unrecognizable Tilda Swinton plays the bitchiest, meanest, most realistic boss since Kevin Spacey in "Horrible Bosses." There is also LeBron James as himself who scores many direct laughs as Conners' buddy who can't block Conners for one instant during a basketball game; the aforementioned John Cena who "looks like Mark Wahlberg ate Mark Wahlberg"; Colin Quinn as Gordon, Amy's loudmouth father who clearly shows where Amy's personality comes from, and Dave Atell as a homeless man who desires alcohol as much as Amy does. Marv Albert, Chris Evert and Matthew Broderick also shine in sparkling cameos during an intervention, and let us not forget Bridget Everett (fans of "Inside Amy Schumer" will know her) who has a zinger that can't be repeated here in print for fear of causing hysterical laughter. I would love to see Everett have her own movie some day - she may go places that may even leave Amy Schumer blushing.

"Trainwreck" is not a seamless comedy-drama but it is a little purposefully messy and disorganized and that adds to its appeal, not unlike Amy Schumer. Sure, the ending is foreseeable but it is not finite - Schumer and Hader make a great couple but the friction in their characters' relationship shows. What is missing is some of the biting humor from her Comedy Central show but that is not where Amy and Apatow want to go. It shows Amy Schumer is a genuine talent, a stunning, sprightly actress who doesn't feel small on the big screen.

Can't make new memories

MEMENTO (2000)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally reviewed in 2001

"I can't make new memories. Everything fades, nothing sticks. By the time we finish this conversation I won't remember how it started, and the next time I see you I won't know that I've ever met you before." - Leonard.

Thus, the above quotation says it all for "Memento," one of the most electrifying of all postmodern noir thrillers in years. Whereas "Run Lola Run" and "Pulp Fiction" reveled in irony, hipness and fractured timelines to tell their stories, "Memento" is a more eager return to what makes noir what it is - the purely existential. Martin Scorsese dared to go through such existential leaps minus the irony in "Bringing Out the Dead" as did Sean Penn in the brilliant "The Pledge." "Memento," though, will be remembered as the most disorienting and fatalistic of the new century, linking to the most frightening ordeal man could ever face, the inability to make new memories.

Such is the case with Leonard (Guy Pearce), a former insurance claims investigator who suffers from a rare disorder defined as "anterior grade memory loss" (also known as Korsokoff's syndrome). You see, Leonard can't make new memories and the only way he can remember anything is by writing it down or by tattooing his body with written messages. After a few minutes, if he fails to write down important information or clues (usually on a handy Polaroid he shoots of any person he meets), he will forget as if the incident had never occurred.

At the beginning of the film, Leonard kills an unarmed man named Teddy (Joe Pantoliano). Teddy's murder seems cold-blooded and, like most noir films that deal with a central narrator (that being Leonard), we expect flashbacks to see what led up to this event. A strange thing happens, though, in "Memento." Rather than seeing typical flashbacks in a conventional, linear fashion, the story is told backwards thus the ending of the film is really the beginning and the beginning of the film is really the ending. Now the audience is faced with the daunting task of keeping all the facts straight in their minds as the events unfold on screen. I did not find it daunting as much as challenging and this Harold Pinter approach serves the purpose of the film.

It would not be fair to reveal much of "Memento" because the thrill of the film is in its surprise factor. This much can be said about the plot: Leonard is investigating the death of his wife by some character named "John G." His investigation leads to a sour, sweetly morose barmaid, Natalie (Carrie-Anne Moss), who has gone through a similar loss and can help him out of pity. Naturally, as the film regresses, we learn Natalie is not quite the sour, kind woman we thought she was - your typical femme fatale. Then there's Teddy, the smiling cop or drug dealer (depending on your interpretation) who may be trying to help Leonard or may be trying to kill him. Add to the mix a local drug dealer, Leonard's memory of Sammy Jankis who supposedly suffered similar memory loss (and was part of Leonard's insurance claims), and constant betrayals and backstabbing ploys. There is also a motel clerk who is nonplussed to learn that Leonard never remembers any conversation they have had, and thus tries to jokingly cheat Leonard out of a better motel room. No one is ever what they seem in this morally ambiguous universe and by structuring the film backwards, we learn the evolution of each character through Leonard's point-of-view. This also serves a more finite attraction: when we learn new information about a character as the film regresses, we realize the character's prior behavior and begin to see that Leonard may have the wrong idea or wrong motive for his later actions. This nonlinear breakdown of the story will no doubt lead to further viewings just to keep the characters straight.

"Memento" has a great, meaty story but if it were not for the beautifully restrained performances from the cast, the film would not work the same way. Guy Pearce is fierce and alive in every scene he is in. He is vulnerable and yet impulsive, no doubt due to his constant memory loss. He is not quite your typical hero, more of a disillusioned antihero. In a sense, Pearce undergoes a rather strange dilemma - if he does not remember what a person had done to him, he can just easily hurt the person who may have tried to help him. The Polaroids and the tattoos are messages that could lead to dangerous avenues if he is not quick enough to jot down finite details. All he does remember is that he has a condition (though that often escapes him as well) and he knows his wife was raped and murdered and he is aware of his former job. But as the film comes to a surprisingly fatalistic finish, we also sense that Leonard may have mixed up certain facts or perhaps he is in denial about his own mysterious past. Pearce brings Leonard to life in such an intoxicating manner that he becomes something of a human mine - don't step on him or you will explode.

Carrie-Anne Moss gives her first truly great performance here as the mysterious, duplicitous Natalie, exuding both toughness and sincerity with equal aplomb. She has a memorably frightening moment where she takes advantage of Leonard's condition and taunts him. Joe Pantoliano (who co-starred with Moss in "The Matrix") gives one of his funniest, quixotic performances in years as Teddy, and his character remains as much an enigma as Leonard does. Teddy may seem trustworthy but could he be using Leonard as well?

Harold Pinter's "Betrayal" was a tale of divorce told backwards and probably the first to use such a complicated device. There was also the hilarious "Seinfeld" episode that was told backwards and succeeded in delivering its punchlines with more gusto than usual. But "Memento" uses a gimmicky device to its advantage. We, the audience, only know as much information as Leonard knows thus his short-term memory loss is accentuated by telling the story backwards, especially since he can't make new memories. When Leonard is unsure of something, so are we. When he is disoriented, so are we. It is rare for a noir tale like this to make us feel the internal anxieties and fears of its main character. Watching "Memento" is like enduring an endless nightmare where our memory is a constant illusion in search of the truth. In the case of Leonard, his search for the truth may be fruitless and all we are left with are mementos to remind us of his own journey.

Free from the Die Hard reins

16 BLOCKS (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2007)

Bruce Willis is one of our most unsung actors of the last twenty years. What he does is on screen is remarkable, remarkable for his sense of timing and his nuances. Since "Die Hard," he's only gotten better and wiser with his pick of roles. Gone is the smirking, wisecracking hero we were once accustomed to, back in the heyday of "Moonlighting" and "Die Hard." In "16 Blocks," he gives a truly magnificent performance as a tired, glum cop, a cliched character to be sure, but he invests it with enough subtlety and flair, not to mention grace and humanity, that it is probably close to the best work he's ever done.

At the beginning of the film, we are already sure this is no John McClane. Willis is Jack Mosley, an alcoholic veteran cop with a five o'clock shadow and a game leg. He visits the latest crime scene where cocaine sits on a table, a couple of corpses litter the floors, and all Jack wants is another drink. Nothing new for Jack, nothing worth sitting around for, at least until the forensic team arrives. His new job is to take a whining witness, Eddie Bunker (Mos Def), to a grand jury hearing which happens to be 16 blocks away from the police station. Jack takes the job reluctantly, stops at a liquor store and all hell breaks loose. You see Mr. Bunker was a witness to a murder committed by corrupt cops, prominently lead by the police chief Nugent (tough-as-nails performance by David Morse, who's been playing bad guys for as long as I can remember).

"16 Blocks" is clearly a run-of-the-mill thriller and, admittedly, you do not need a sixth sense to see where it is going. All the cliches are intact, and all the payoff scenes sputter as expected. Under the guidance of Bruce Willis, Mos Def and director Richard Donner, they at least give it a lift above the norm. The film primarily works as a character study with more dialogue than usual for this sort of thing (this may be an intentional hark back to the police thrillers of the late 60's and early 70's). Willis embodies a broken man, both physically and emotionally, who may be tired of playing by the immoral ethics of his police department. Mos Def shows a comical side to his caffeinated Eddie, who only hopes to stay alive long enough to open a bakery in Seattle! And director Richard Donner wisely infuses enough interest in his characters to make a potentially mediocre movie more exciting and suspenseful than it has any right to be.

Willis clearly makes the movie his own. He has come a long way since "Die Hard," and I am tempted to say that his Jack Mosley character works so well that it proves Willis is one of our best character actors. A beaten down cop like this played with such sincerity almost makes you wish Willis would resist a new "Die Hard" sequel.

Lifetime movie inspired by true story

A DEADLY ADOPTION (2015)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The last thing I ever expected Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig to make was a full 2-hour parody of a Lifetime movie...for Lifetime! Well, sort of a parody...let's say that the joke is a one-joke movie but boy is the joke funny. It plays it absolutely straight as it should.

Will Ferrell is Robert, a best-selling author of financial responsibility books, living with his wife and child in a placid lake house. Kristen Wiig is Sarah, the wife, who is shown as pregnant in the opening scenes. She foolishly heads to the dock and is ready to go boating when she slips and falls in the lake, in the kind of slow-motion scene that always looks absurd in any of those movies. Here, it is looks doubly absurd with Ferrell running after her in slow-motion. Years pass with Ferrell always seated on a bench overlooking the dock. Sometimes, he opens the drawer to his desk and, voila, a tempting bottle of wine is inside though he has been on the wagon. Wiig meanwhile maintains an organic food stand where her products sell through the roof. There is also their diabetic daughter who Ferrell is far too overprotective of. All seems well until a young brunette, Bridgette (Jessica Lowndes), becomes the new surrogate mother to their family. Yep, she's trouble from the start and the rest of you can figure out what happens next.

"A Deadly Adoption" is a complete farce but it is played with such a minimum of forced exaggeration that it works in spite of itself. Even the over-the-top shenanigans including the surrogate mother, who has financial ambitions and is not what she seems, a kidnapping and then another of one those slo-mo climaxes show how forced these events can be played in these TV movies. Ferrell and Wiig make a sweet married couple and his own past indiscretions play out hilariously, particularly flashbacks to Ferrell's book tours. What makes the movie sing is that Ferrell and Wiig make one smile at every instance that they utter banal dialogue. Even Jessica Lowndes, who at first is seemingly seducing Ferrell, turns out to be an amoral money-grubber - the movie shifts Bridgette's character with far too many shifts. By the end of the film, she is literally a second cousin to Alex from "Fatal Attraction." Lowndes plays the ridiculous surrogate mother even straighter than the star leads, an accomplishment considering we never know who she is or her ultimate goal - the screenwriters are at fault and purposely so.

"A Deadly Adoption" is purposely unbelievable and as melodramatic as one can imagine - I am sure the Lifetime network sees the self-awareness as a criticism of sorts. You won't believe a moment of "A Deadly Adoption"...and you are not meant to. 

Nowhere to Run, nowhere to hide

THE BIG CLOCK (1948) and NO WAY OUT (1987): 

NOIR COMPANIONS CUT FROM A DIFFERENT CLOTH

By Jerry Saravia

Remakes are in such ubiquity nowadays that it is rare to see one that enhances its original incarnation. 1987's "No Way Out" is one of those that succeeded admirably, a deeper, deeply suspenseful and outright knockout of a thriller that delivers much more panic and fatalistic touches than its predecessor. 1948's "The Big Clock" would be the original template which "No Way Out" borrowed, a film noir thriller that plays fast and loose with its noirish trappings with delightful coincidences and a sunnier finish. "No Way Out," however, is the true noir (though advertised as a thriller) with a slightly bleaker outlook.

1948's "The Big Clock" (based on Kenneth Fearing's novel) has Ray Milland as George Stroud, a crime reporter and editor-in-chief for Crimeways Magazine, who has a special knack for catching criminals. The repugnant Earl Janoth (Charles Laughton) is the newspaper tycoon who owns Janoth Publications, which is the home for Crimeways. Stroud deservedly expects to go on vacation with his wife (Maureen O'Sullivan) to West Virginia yet the ever tyrannical Earl expects Stroud's total commitment to the magazine. Stroud is abruptly fired and spends his time at a bar with Pauline (Rita Johnson), Earl's mistress, who wants to conspire with Stroud to blackmail his former boss. One thing leads to another when Earl has his rendezvous with Pauline and kills her. Stroud doesn't realize what is happening until late, and then he is assigned to find the killer by Janoth! Since Stroud went about town with Pauline at various clubs and shops, witnesses come forward to identity Pauline's date. Meanwhile, there are reparations to be made with Stroud's long-suffering wife and delayed vacations.

1987's "No Way Out" is a whole other affair, a political thriller with not much politics but plenty of thrills in a setting far removed from the publishing world. Kevin Costner (in clearly the best role of his career) is Commander Farrell, a Navy Lieutenant with a background in intelligence. He is also something of a hero after a hazardous boat rescue. Farrell is selected as liaison for Secretary of Defense Brice (Gene Hackman) to investigate the proposed project of a phantom sub. Unfortunately, such project investigations come to a halt when Brice accidentally kills his mistress (Sean Young, an animated actress early in her career) and blames it on Yuri, a Russian mole working in the Pentagon. Farrell has been assigned to find Yuri except he has also had an affair with the same woman! To make matters complicated, witnesses to Farrell's romantic getaways with Susan are coming forward, and there is the matter of Brice's top assistant, Scott Pritchard (Will Patton), who has assassins on hand to terminate Yuri and anyone associated with the mole.

If I have a preference between the two films, it would be "No Way Out" because its dependence on the machinations of its plot do not overwhelm the characters' dilemmas. Laughton's Janoth expresses no remorse over the death of his mistress, and consequently neither does Stroud who is only friends with the mistress - he is not carrying out an affair. In contrast, Hackman's Brice expresses guilt and shame over the killing. Farrell was deeply in love with the mistress and can't handle losing her (though the final twist brings up a few more questions about his devotion to the woman). "No Way Out" also ends with a touch of fatalism, imbuing its narrative with ambiguity over Farrell's role in the Pentagon and some measure of sympathy for Brice and his assistant, whose handling of certain matters is handled by assassins. Laughton's Janoth is a fascinating, repulsive creature but it is hard to care about his plight. Milland's Stroud just wants to protect his hide and seems to be a good man overall, in way over his head.

The biggest difference between "The Big Clock" and "No Way Out" is the former's sense of humor - it is practically a fast-paced screwball comedy with Hawksian overtones (not to mention the use of the witty Elsa Lanchester as a wacky painter). The supporting cast in "The Big Clock" is more colorful but the ones in "No Way Out" are far more grounded, more realistic (it is hard to forget George Dzundza's wheelchair-bound computer expert who is sympathetic yet unsure of Farrell's seeming paranoia). "The Big Clock" is a fun suspense yarn with a shocking climax. "No Way Out" is far more entertaining with an even more shocking climax yet its roots are firmly planted in the world of noir. Let's say Milland's Stroud escapes any sort of doomed fate. Costner's Farrell faces an ambiguous future - one that may result in getting out of the United States altogether. He's wracked with guilt over the loss of a loved one, something conspicuously missing from "The Big Clock."