Web-Crawler fighting drones

 SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME (2019)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

My thoughts on "Spider-Man: Homecoming" extend to this noisy if occasionally diverting sequel, "Far From Home" which were, and I quote, "What it does not have is much of an identity - it looks and feels like a Spider-Man tale but our friendly neighborhood arachnid hero appears to be stuck in recycled webbing." Not much has changed since the last picture since we have our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man trying in vain to save his high-school class from a mirage. Yep, a dangerous mirage utilizing drones equipped with cameras and bullets but a mirage nonetheless.

The Spider-Man comic book collector of the 1980's, that is I, forgot the attributes of Mysterio aka Quentin Beck (Jake Gyllenhaal), a former Sinister Six member who was adept at creating illusions with 3-D projectors and, in later incarnations, the use of hypnosis. In "Far From Home," Mysterio pretends to be from a multiverse where his planet was destroyed by the Four Elementals, creatures that represent fire, water and so on. Naturally these Elementals are not real, they are illusions, and you would think that the former director of S.H.I.E.L.D, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson, wearing that eyepatch well) would see through this fabrication. Or for that matter Maria Hill (Cobey Smulders), who works along side Nick. They need Spider-Man (Tom Holland) to help Mysterio fight the Elementals because, well, the surviving Avengers are busy. Spider-Man would rather rest and hang out with his class group who are going on a vacation to Venice, London and finally Prague. What is of infinite importance is that Peter Parker admit his love to MJ aka Michelle (Zendaya). Easier spun than done.

"Spider-Man: Far From Home" has a fairly thin story because once the gig is up with regards to Mysterio; the rest of the picture could've found time for romance between Parker and MJ and there is precious little of it. Comparing to earlier Tobey Maguire Spidey pictures, there was always time for some measure of intimacy but this movie kickstarts itself into high gear and never lets up (Mysterio and his fake supernatural powers are introduced in the first scene!) 

On the plus side, Tom Holland is becoming more convincing as Peter Parker and is just agile enough as the Web Crawler (his penultimate scene with MJ has some honest emotion rather than anything cutesy). I actually found Jake Gyllenhaal more buoyant than grating as Mysterio with his con-artist demeanor, though at times he looks more like an adult bearded Peter Parker. The high-school class students are fun and animated enough including Jacob Batalon as Ned, who is far more engaging than in the last film. Also the women are shown to be smarter than the men at figuring things out, which may annoy macho males but who cares. But even with all the endless special-effects and literal smoke-and-mirrors, this is more Avengers-style destruction than a regular Spider-Man flick and the urgency is, once again, nil. These new Spidey flicks don't have anything as hair-raising as Spider-Man spinning his webs to prevent an elevated train of passengers from falling off the rails as in "Spider-Man 2." At the end of the day, it is Spidey fighting a bunch of armed...drones.  

Multiverse to end all multiverses

 EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

There is the recent multiverse of Spider-Man and then there's the multiverse of Evelyn's life. "Everything Everywhere All At Once" is a wild, wacky, messy, sometimes incoherent yet never less than enthralling and exasperating pastiche of lives lived and how one's emotional core is always in question. Michelle Yeoh's Evelyn is that person who's not sure what is happening in her life or where she's headed. Nobody is.

Evelyn runs a laundromat that is facing stiff tax liabilities from the IRS (for instance, Evelyn buys tax expenditures for the laundromat that are unnecessary like a karaoke machine). She lives with her outwardly upbeat husband, Waymond (Ke Huy Quan - welcome back!) who is ready for a divorce; her 90-year-old father Gong-Gong (James Hong) who demands breakfast, and there's Evelyn's daughter (Stephanie Hsu) who is seeking acceptance from her and for her relationship with her girlfriend. What could start out as a drama on the order of "The Joy Luck Club" becomes wired, tossed and fed back right back to us as pure adrenaline shocker. What I mean to say is that suddenly Waymond's head shakes and he's actually some sort of kung-fu agent who uses a fanny pack like a nunchaku weapon. All the hand-to-hand combat occurs at the IRS building where Deirdre (a hysterically explosive Jamie Lee Curtis) is the IRS auditor with plaques honoring her work, and Evelyn also succumbs to this verse-jumping technology and punches Deirdre! Security surrounds them in probably the most insanely absurd sequence to ever take place in an IRS building! Somehow, Evenly and Waymond verse-jump from a multitude of universes and Gong-Gong shows up in his motorized wheelchair and eventually attaches monitors to himself! Then there is a universe where everyone has hot dogs for fingers! And some powerful presence known as Jobu Tupaki (Alpha Joy) is a threat to all the verses, or something like that. Say what? 

I was not put off by "Everything Everywhere All At Once" for a second though the continuous verse-jumping can give you a headache at first. Evelyn seems to enter these verses faster than operating a TV remote control but the genius of writer-directors Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert is how efficiently and dramatically they weave the somewhat troubled life of Evelyn as a geisha, a high-profile actress or the disoriented woman who owns a laundromat - Yeoh serves up Evelyn with all the gusto she needs to make a living, breathing person who may have misgivings about her family yet she's trying to come to terms with it. The question is, can she learn her lessons and accept Waymond as her husband and accept her daughter as gay? 

From the various visual set pieces that includes a fantasy world of a white palace, a bagel-in-the-sky that sucks up all the trauma and emotions of living, a 1940's look by way of Wong Kar-Wai (or so it seems) when we see Evelyn as a glamorous movie star and a desert landscape where the characters are rocks, "Everything Everywhere All At Once" is a pure jolting kick of adrenaline and operatic flourishes that never cease to amaze. It all coalesces into one of the most heartbreaking and honest crescendos between mother and daughter you will ever see. Surrounded and supported by a capable and memorable cast, it is Michelle Yeoh who brings much momentum and credibility to the chaos. She's the one we gravitate to and know she will bring peace within herself. She is everything, everywhere and all at once a true model of strength and perseverance. Now about those hot dog fingers...

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is avoid this movie

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II (2000)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Original review from 2000 screening

I have no personal agenda against action movies in general. If they are entertaining, even in a remotely campy manner, then I will not complain. God only knows that we should not expect much more in this digital, impersonal age. So "Mission: Impossible 2" hardly has much going for it except straightforward action scenes to dazzle and numb the brain. Incredibly, the film is no fun at all - a never-ending trailer for what might look like a cool, sleek action picture that never comes to fruition. It is vapid and
joyless - two words that should not be associated with thrill rides.

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), the hotshot superspy from the original, is back this time trying to prevent a bland villain, Ambrose (Dougray Scott), from buying the antidotes to a deadly virus. From what I gather from the plot, this ambitious nut hopes to gain billions by unleashing this virus upon the world, and since there will be millions of dying, infected people, he will have access to the antidote which he can sell in multitudes. Just sounds like another business proposition that Bill Gates should pursue. The only way to stop this madman is for Hunt to hire a beautiful jewel thief, Nyah Hall (Thandiwe Newton), to charm the pants off of her former love, Ambrose, so that the IMF team can trace his every move. Sounds like an update of Hitchcock's classic "Notorious" eh? And I assure you that is where the similarities end since this "M:I 2" possesses not one syllable of greatness from its far superior inspiration.

In fact, this movie is one of the worst sequels in years, embodying absolutely nothing that made the first "Mission: Impossible" a passable success. It is not witty, funny, exciting or engaging at any given moment. For pure excitement, we have an echo of Cruise's famous suspension from a ceiling from the original (which echoed the caper "Topkapi"), and a tense, believable opening plane crash followed by Cruise dangling 2000 feet up from a cliff. Outside of that, director John Woo overdoes the slow-motion
technique in his action scenes...even using this technique when Cruise and Newton make goo-goo eyes at each other. I felt like I was watching a commercial for one of those cologne ads.

Cruise slums and preens with not a trace of his personality coming through - he sleepwalks through this movie. Thandie Newton just looks beautiful, a shame considering this is the same actress from "Beloved." Ving Rhames barely reprises his role from the original, and looks just as bored. The villains
would barely threaten Adam Sandler. The whole film feels like a bland soufflé - it is sour and has no taste. Woo does nothing to enliven the proceedings - he is on automatic air pilot with dozens of shots of motorcycles, kicks, flips in the air, gunfire, oh, and a dove (another Woo trademark). None of this is remotely close to Woo's purely visceral and intoxicating "Face/Off."

Apparently, Tom Cruise fans want him to do more action-oriented/romantic comedy fare, and less of his exalting turns in offbeat films such as "Magnolia." Perhaps this was just a ride to the bank for Cruise, and now he can pursue more challenging roles. My recommended mission, should you choose
to accept it, is to avoid this movie at all costs.

Seth Brundle is, um, the odd man out

 THE FLY (1986)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"The Fly" is an upsetting, riveting, emotional disturbance in the horror genre. It is director David Cronenberg's remake of the 1958 classic that contains that famous line screamed by a webbed human face on a fly's body, "Help me!" Somebody better help Seth Brundle, a brilliant scientist who has invented teleportation pods that can transfer inanimate objects with ease. What about animate, living breathing beings? Hmmm.

The ever enthusiastic Seth (Jeff Goldblum, perfect casting with those bugged-out bug eyes) eventually finds a clue in his voice-activated computer system which controls the teleportation pods - maybe it is probable to transfer flesh without killing the living thing (a baboon is the initial try and it proves disastrous). Geena Davis is Veronica, the journalist working for Particle magazine, a science publication like Omni, who witnesses this transformative event with the use of Betamax video cameras (my, how far we have come since). She also falls in love with Seth who encounters one too many physical changes in his body. He performs amazing gymnastics, starts eating too much sugar with his cappuccino, becomes aggressive (especially when having sex) and, well, we know what has happened - when he teleported, a fly flew in the pod and became fused with Seth. 

Think of "The Fly" as a horrific sight for the eyes and ears though, in hindsight, not nearly as gory as I remembered back in 1986 (that sickeningly gooey theater experience was my first encounter with Cronenberg). Yes, there are yucky, slimy, fluid-looking effects and the whole notion of flesh and its deformities when changing into a fly is where Cronenberg finds he's at home (though I guess we can be thankful that Cronenberg does not dwell on such fleshy details up close). One scene in a bar where Seth shows his physical strength in arm wrestling will leave you wincing and looking away. When he is slowly becoming a fly, you'll notice the yellow fluids staining his clothes and then, eek, his teeth, fingernails and various body parts start to come off. This is hardly an easy film to, um, digest after it is over.

The reason "The Fly" is not geeky, exploitative horror is because Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis bring so much tenderness to their roles and as a magnetic romantic couple (which they were at that time) - they really do click and you hope that this gradual fly transformation won't disrupt it. The love between them is almost inseparable despite Seth's growing deterioration - she is willing to stand by him and love him regardless of what he looks like. When Seth (who can climb walls and ceilings like Spider-Man) tells her that he might hurt her if she sticks around, it is genuinely moving and heartfelt. Even in pounds of makeup and latex, Jeff Goldblum still shines with his rapier-like delivery of dialogue (this was also the first time I started to notice Goldblum's dexterous use of his hands to denote the character.) 

Despite his heroic turn towards the horrifying and deeply emotional climax, John Getz plays a despicably arrogant, obnoxious ex-boyfriend of Veronica's whose occasionally cringe-inducing lines of dialogue (asking for sexual favors) wouldn't stand half a chance in today's world. He's practically unsympathetic yet Getz, in a progressively modulated performance, manages to still show he loves Veronica. Both men love her, yet there is still the odd fly out. 

Johnny Smith sees the past and the future

 THE DEAD ZONE (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally seen in 1983

'As he was a bachelor, and in nobody's debt, nobody troubled their head about him anymore'.

This is a line from Washington Irving's short story "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" and we realize the psychic Johnny Smith may have been forgotten while in a coma. Yet now with his newly discovered psychic powers after waking from a coma, everyone wants a piece of him. David Cronenberg's "The Dead Zone" is a disquieting, extremely effective and tightly structured thriller, among the finest adaptations of Stephen King's novels. It is one of the few remarkable horror pictures with a science-fiction bent that draws out the humanity more than the special effects to work. And boy, does the movie work overtime on your nerves.

Set in the fictional Castle Rock, New Hampshire, Johnny Smith (Christopher Walken) is a teacher who has an affinity for Washington Irving and Edgar Allan Poe. He is dating a fellow teacher, Sarah (Brooke Adams), who is completely head over heels in love with him yet their love remains unconsummated. Rather than spend the night with Sarah, he travels home during a thunderstorm and gets into an accident with an 18-wheeler truck. Five year later, Johnny wakes up from a coma and discovers he has psychic powers. First, he sees a young girl in danger of dying in a fire just by touching the hand of a nurse, the girl's mother. Later he picks up clues to a murder by touching the hand of the murdered victim! This guy starts getting tons of mail at his address with possible requests to retain his second sight services, yet his headaches gets worse and he walks with a limp. To top it all off, Johnny's former love Sarah is now married with kids. And to make matters worse, a driven political candidate named Greg Stillson (Martin Sheen) is in town and is ready for a future Presidency. When Johnny touches Greg's hand, let's say there could be a potential nuclear annihilation in the future. Johnny now discovers he can see the future.

Most of "The Dead Zone" is chilling in its atmosphere, from its wintry locations (filmed in Canada), to the cool colors of the characters' wardrobes (Sarah wears a blue dress in her first meeting with Johnny post-accident; Anthony Zerbe, playing a millionaire, wears a blue robe after the demise of a hockey team that his son thankfully did not participate in, thanks to Johnny's intervention); to the frightful surroundings of an icy tunnel; to Greg Stillson's senatorial campaigning with a Norman Rockwell logo combining blue and red colors that looks offputting, and so much more. Director David Cronenberg brings this grim tale alive with subtle art direction that feels just right and all the right tension notes are played - the whole movie really gets under your skin. One scene must be discussed here: the location of the Castle Rock Killer in a small house. The home looks inviting enough yet when Johnny enters along with the Sheriff (Tom Skerritt), something again feels off and it is not just the killer's overprotective mother (a crushing cameo by Colleen Dewhurst). The room look infantilized (wallpaper of cowboys and Indians, a paperback for kids called "Apache Kid") yet the normal-looking bathroom where a self-mutilation occurs keeps us off track yet again. The setup, the terse music score Michael Kamen, and the camera compositions of not knowing what lurks around the corner builds the frightful suspense in such intensifying ways that most crime TV shows of late or crime movies couldn't possibly match.

Christopher Walken gives a sympathetic, fully layered performance of a man who cannot fathom why he has these special powers or why he had to suffer and lose out on the life he wanted. When he discovers the truth about Greg Stillson and asks his doctor (deftly played by Herbert Lom) if he would've killed Hitler knowing what he was about to do, it chills us to the bone because we understand and want to nurture Johnny in whatever decision he wants to make. Same with Sarah, wonderfully and poignantly played by Brooke Adams, who so desperately wanted a life with Johnny yet she can't really let him go. Life takes its own toll on people and we carry on through whichever path it leads us. Johnny, fortunately or not, has the power to change that and even he doesn't know where it might lead. 

Fighting to stay alive during the Depression

 HARD TIMES (1975)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Charles Bronson might have been one of the tough guy movie stars of the 70's but he acknowledged something deeper, more fundamentally human in his early roles. When Bronson fights bare knuckled, you sense that he doesn't wish to hurt his opponents. He may bruise them and knock them out but he shows compassion towards his opponent - a sense of reluctance despite wanting to win. Bronson in the 70's is wildly different from the "Death Wish" sequels and Menahem Golan pictures he made in the 1980's. In the role of a drifter in the Depression-era drama, "Hard Times," he is perfectly cast because it seemed close to the real Charles Bronson.

The year is 1933 and Chaney (Bronson) is freight-hopping from town to town trying to make a buck and move North. Chaney is something of a mystery and a no-frills type of guy - he is not out to hurt people and he keeps to himself (so was the real Bronson). He arrives in Louisiana and his interest is piqued when a bunch of men enter a warehouse and hold illegal bareknuckle fights. One of the promoters is Spencer "Speed" Weed (James Coburn, a truly energetic, colorful performance), a fairly unscrupulous opportunist who just wants enough money to gamble. Chaney tries to convince Speed that he can fight despite being older than most of the competition and I guess I could say, "Let the games begin!" but it is not that kind of movie. Speed takes Chaney to New Orleans where he beats two opponents (one of them is a bald smiling musclebound fighter memorably played by Robert Tessier) and yet none of this works out too smoothly for Speed. Speed has to deal with mobsters (one of them played by Bruce Glover, who I wished there was more of) and a wealthy seafood tycoon (Michael McGuire, a very cunning, sharply powerful presence) who wants $3,000 dollars to cover for his other opponent, a formidable fighter from Chicago whom the tycoon hopes will beat Chaney.

So there are the loan sharks and the mob circulating their efforts around Speed. Meanwhile the reluctant Chaney lives in one of the more impoverished sections of New Orleans and strikes a brief love affair with Lucy (Jill Ireland) who is not to sure of this cautious man with a heart of gold. Lucy is married but her husband is away and Chaney feels a kinship though it is not much of a romance. Curiously, many of Ireland's scenes were reportedly cut and that is a shame because Bronson and Ireland spark the screen with their limited conversations. He shows his empathy towards her, willing to help her domestic situation.

"Hard Times" is a tightly woven, sharply written and muscularly directed effort - Walter Hill's directorial debut. The pacing is swift, the fights are realistic and exciting, and the period setting and clothes are top of the line. In the midst of all this, Charles Bronson is the enigmatic and disinclined hero who comes into town like some sort of savior, an angel with a certain toughness who (SPOILER ALERT) saves Speed's butt and moves on. Chaney even gives away some of his winnings to Speed and Poe (Strother Martin), a former opium-addict and medical student who treats Chaney's cuts. Chaney is a mysterious man we should champion more often.

Doesn't take my breath away

 TOP GUN (1986)

A Lack of Appreciation by Jerry Saravia

Among some of the most nauseatingly sleep-inducing 1980's flicks that I can think of, "Top Gun" might indeed take the cake and top honors. It is the one that is on par with the very popular "Dirty Dancing" as bland, superficial cinema with nothing to chew on, or even lick your lips over. There is no residue, only an empty void where you struggle to remember anything of value in a sea of Dolby-ized noise.

"Top Gun" is remembered as the most jingoistic Navy recruitment film of the 1980's, reminding one of the propaganda war flicks of the 1940's except with better aerial footage. I say remembered because it is a film that I had no actual recollection of seeing. I did not see it in a theater but a friend of mine back then told me that we watched it on videocassette. I was flabbergasted by his comment at the time - we saw this movie that I had no interest in seeing? I had no memory of this and, for the record, I remember seeing David Lynch's "Dune" in theaters only because of Sting's electrifying performance and the fact that we pelted the screen with sticky, buttery popcorn (oh, what fun to be such callow teenagers). Then it hit me, "Top Gun" was just a bore, a movie about nothing and usually movies about nothing are forgotten and evaporate from the mind after one finishes watching them. Yet I saw "Dirty Dancing" on video and I must say, that movie at least had a killer oldies soundtrack (which I still have on cassette) and the famous moment where Jennifer Grey...well, you know it. Yet I hated that movie passionately because it was a stupid, unbelievable love story about a dance instructor prick played by the late Patrick Swayze who teaches Grey how to dance. At least "Dirty Dancing" had the courage of its bad movie convictions, if that makes any sense. 

I don't hate "Top Gun" - I just find it unmemorable and sleep-inducing. I have tried to watch it more than once back in the 1980's and it did nothing for me. The aerial footage of defense planes racing and swooshing through the air in formation is well-done and perfectly executed...but so what? Tom Cruise is Lt. Maverick, a wild, reckless pilot who "feels the need for speed!" Oh, brother, someone shoot me. Val Kilmer is another crazy, unpredictable pilot named the "Iceman" and they both vow to one-up and challenge each other to see who really feels the need for faster speed on board an F-14. Or something like that. I am aware that a sexual relationship occurs between Maverick and his flight instructor (Kelly McGillis) who appears to be too intelligent and wise to put up with a hothead like Maverick. Ah, and who can forget the Berlin song "Take My Breath Away," which is not a bad song but it deserved to be in a better movie. You can keep the Kenny Loggins song "Danger Zone." 

Other than that, I have nothing else to say about "Top Gun." In terms of Tom Cruise's bad movie meter, "Cocktail" is a far more thunderous assault on the senses of good taste but that is like comparing one rotten apple versus another rotten apple with no core. Apparently people have been waiting 35 years for a sequel to "Top Gun." I don't recall anyone back in 1986 clamoring for another chapter in the nonsensical adventures of Maverick yet, here we are and a new movie called "Top Gun: Maverick" is in the wings and about to be released in theaters after several delays due to COVID. Quentin Tarantino's take on an alleged gay subtext in "Top Gun" as relayed in one scene in the otherwise forgettable "Sleep With Me" is far more invigorating than any one frame of "Top Gun." "Top Gun" just doesn't take my breath away.