Broken Reels

 CRIMEWAVE (1985)

An Escaped Review, not a Releasable Review 

by Jerry Saravia

"Crimewave" is a delirious puzzle of a movie - actually, it is a puzzle and I hesitate calling it a movie. Its got two killers on the loose (bug exterminators) with maniacal glee in their eyes and a cackling laughter that just might turn you off in the first few minutes. It has Bruce Campbell deliciously playing a heel (the best performance in the film). It also has Sheree J. Wilson as some glamorous 1940's-type woman who hates heels and presumably nerds. Speaking of nerds or wonky vulnerable men, it has one (Reed Birney) who tells this whole bizarre story before his scheduled electrocution in prison for allegedly killing people. I hesitate calling this a story but this "story" also has nuns who have a 40-year vow of silence. And there's Louise Lasser as some housewife. 

"Crimewave" is directed, or rather shaped into a shapeless monstrosity, by Sam Raimi who has done infinitely better. It is ostensibly written by the Coen Brothers who wisely started directing their own scripts after this - I say ostensibly because they feel like words on the page but they do not form complete sentences. I simply gave up trying to figure this incredibly tedious effort out - a sort of deeply inconsistent cross between 40's noir, farcical comedy and a chase picture with an anarchic spirit. Yep, it is pure anarchy and not much else. The version I saw did not have the title "Crimewave," it was titled "Broken Hearts and Broken Noses" (This was the San Diego test market title). Broken Reels is a more appropriate title.

Unemployment never keeps you down

 RAINING STONES (1993)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When a couple of unemployed workers from Manchester stoop as low as grabbing a sheep and trying to sell it as meat to local butchers, you can't imagine things getting any lower. Only Ken Loach's "Raining Stones" does go lower and one of them, Bob, faces a moral crisis.

An unemployed plumber, Bob (Bruce Jones), is trying to support his wife, Anne (Julie Brown) and their young daughter, Coleen (Gemma Phoenix), who is getting ready for her first Communion. Naturally she needs a Communion dress and though the local priest says there is no shame in giving her one of their pristine dresses, Bob stubbornly says he will buy her one - he has to keep his pride (and the poor guy just had his green van stolen). Plumbing is something Bob tries from door-to-door unsuccessfully. His good friend, Tommy (Ricky Tomlinson), is also unemployed and feels shame in accepting money from his daughter who is presumably making a killing in selling perfume, makeup, etc. Bob and Tommy try everything from selling sheep meat, to cutting patches of grass to sell to a landscaping company - that's just what they do in pairs. Bob tries his hand at bouncing at a nightclub which ends with him spotting Tommy's daughter selling drugs - he is fired for being unable to prove that any drug pushing took place. This is a curious moment because Bob never tells Tommy that he spotted her. Everyone is going through enough turmoil.

"Raining Stones" is practically a documentary of the Manchester working class during a depression where financial woes and unemployment can cause a strain in families. Nothing new about that notion yet Ken Loach makes Bob and Tommy not into losers but rather optimistic men who are trying their damnedest to work for a living. He wants to keep his youngest daughter Coleen happy, to make his wife happy, yet he keeps making mistakes. A subplot involving Bob getting a loan from a tough loan shark is very intense and dramatically satisfying because we know it is all about the Communion dress. If Bob can make anyone happy, it won't be himself - it will be his daughter.

Whether it is the working class conditions from Glasgow in Bill Forsyth's "That Sinking Feeling" or Mike Leigh's own British tales of woe ("Naked" is one of his most powerful), I have a deep admiration for such stories because they are about people struggling yet nothing stops them from trying. "Raining Stones" is one tale of woe that kept me on the edge of my seat. I worried for Bob and his family and hoped that he would get out of the troubling financial situations he was in and find a job. Never has that seemed so meaningful and potent as in "Raining Stones." 

Art as salvation through the supernatural

 THE DARK STRANGER (2015)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Canadian horror films I've seen typically seem to skimp on gore and go straight for the jugular, so to speak (except maybe for director David Cronenberg). "The Dark Stranger" has some creative blood effects that do not overwhelm and yet the story doesn't seem to jell between the artist with suicidal tendencies and the art world, the process of creating. Can someone who creates a world that suffers from depression actually do it without medication, or is it willed by something supernatural?

Katie Findlay (Leah Garrison), who looks like Emmy Rossum's younger sister, refuses to leave the house and hardly ever takes a shower. She lives with her brother, an aspiring musician, and her understanding and devoted father, both of whom she cooks dinner for. Katie's mother committed suicide and left behind some drawings that has piqued someone's interest in showing them at a gallery. Katie can't bring herself to draw but when she stops taking her meds, the creative juices start flowing. Only this is not the usual creative streak that she can enjoy - something beyond her forces her to sketch drawings for a graphic novel called "The Dark Stranger." Of course, we the audience start to think this is all in her head but it turns out that by drawing these pages, a supernatural force has been summoned and wants her to finish the graphic novel. He is the Dark Stranger.

Writer-director Chris Trebilcock could have taken this in ways where reality and fantasy sometimes merge yet the distinction may remain at arm's length, at least from Katie's point-of-view. Trebilcock chickens out when he goes down the usual well-travelled path of horror films (though there is nothing as wretched here as the misshapen "Cellar Dweller" from 1988), and I won't say where that path leads but I think you can guess where. Somehow this occasionally tepid script avoids really dealing with Katie's depression. The set up is terrific and the first half-hour or so really forms the slightly dysfunctional family unit. Leah Garrison gives an amazingly potent performance as Katie and her mood swings feel completely realistic, especially when it leads to cutting herself. I also enjoyed Enrico Colantoni as the father who is troubled by Katie and her visions and still hopes she will come out of it. Also worth noting is Stephen McHattie as the Dark Stranger and a real-life stranger, an art curator, who is far too interested in Katie's mother's drawings - talk about potency, McHattie is a bit underused here but he still has a fiery presence.

"The Dark Stranger" has some intriguing ideas and I love the drawings of this graphic novel and how they come to life. I just wished it went further and that it did not progressively ignore Katie's mental breakdown and/or illness. Art is her salvation but only in a supernaturally superficial kind of way. 

Late Night Neo-Noir

 CALL ME (1988)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Within the first few minutes of "Call Me," it is easy to figure this as yet another late-night thriller curiosity that you should only watch late at night. We see a young brunette emerge from the shower, quickly answering the ringing landline phone only to find it is her boyfriend who wants her badly. He asks to meet her at the Polish Bar in New York City. She arrives and finds no boyfriend, only some creeps like a corrupt murdering cop and a murdered transvestite in the bathroom who was only collecting cash. Just another day in New York. As I said, easy to write off yet something strange happens in this film, it pulls you in and you go along for a ride that makes some unpredictable stops along the way.

Patricia Charbonneau (who had her sensational debut in "Desert Hearts") is Anna, a newspaper columnist who writes for a section called "Street Scene." Anna lives all alone in her apartment. Her boyfriend (Sam Freed) acts like a friend who stops by occasionally and they seem to have no sex life. Anna's predicament at the Polish Bar leads to more obscene phone calls from someone she thought was her boyfriend. Now she starts to think the obscene caller is a blonde-haired customer at that bar (Stephen McHattie) who may be embroiled in some bad business involving a crooked cop and a basic crook (Steve Buscemi, whose role here is no different than the one he played in "Fargo"). She can't bring herself to stop talking to the obscene caller, though she also keeps hanging up on him. Anna eventually engages in phone sex involving an orange (cue food items from "9 1/2 Weeks") and then her boyfriend shows up unannounced watching her!

Believe it or not based on the plot description, I was really taken by "Call Me." It is not an overriding success since it tackles some disparate plot elements, including the two hoodlums, the cop, Anna's neighbor who is enamored with her, the neglectful boyfriend who's also a junk food critic, and one too many scenes of Anna's best friend (Patti D'Arbanville) who wears too many layers of clothing. Sure, if "Call Me" had explored the world of phone sex and obscene callers nary the thriller elements, it might have proved to be more psychological. Still, "Call Me" is fascinating and absorbing on a perverse level - a sort of late-night neo noir thriller with an unexpected ending that seems just perfect. The obscene caller is not who we think it is either, and McHattie (who is most arresting in perfectly composed poses and never says much) strikes a nerve - we wonder about him and his allegiance to the criminal underworld. Charbonneau is too naive a journalist and she makes one too many mistakes yet I was entranced by her performance - she makes us care even when she does stupid things (like she could have exited through the bathroom window of that bar to avoid detection after that opening transvestite murder scene). Charbonneau and McHattie occupy a world where nothing is what it seems and if the film followed up on these two fascinating characters, it might have been a boozy noir masterpiece. As it stands, it is an absorbing and perverse noir thriller. Watch it late at night for maximum effect. 

Easy paycheck for Charles Bronson

 DEATH WISH 3 (1985)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Death Wish 3" is the junkiest and most hilariously bad Charles Bronson flick ever. Never mind consistency because aside from Bronson returning to his paycheck role as urban vigilante Paul Kersey, this movie has no real connection to the other "Death Wish" films that preceded it. Sure, there is mention of Kersey's murdered wife from the first film but that is it. Nothing here is remotely credible yet there is one major consistency - it is laughable from start to finish.

How laughable. Consider the moment where Kersey is in a gang controlled part of East New York and goes out in the streets with the intent to mow down a gang member. He brings along a Nikon camera that he carries over his shoulder as bait, and his ultra Magnum gun (a Wildey .475 Magnum) hidden in his jacket. A gang member named "The Grinner" (Kirk Taylor) steals his camera and Paul Kersey shoots him and everyone applauds! Another victory for Paul Kersey! Yahoo! This should have been a scene in a parody of "Death Wish," not an actual sequel that should be gritty yet the grit is mostly shown via the trash on the streets (and I do mean actual garbage and strewn newspapers). But the whole movie unintentionally plays like a joke, from the nonsensical use of a synthesizer score at the most inappropriate moments to Martin Balsam as a fed-up WWII vet who has a machine gun he can't operate (though Paul, who served in Korea, knows how to use it) to killings of gang members who drive by and crash into other vehicles that explode on impact. You know, a cheesy Cannon Films production of East New York that was partially shot in London (how Kubrickian).

There is the nonsensical inclusion of Deborah Raffin as a public defender who is also killed in a car crash with an explosion on impact! She has a brief love affair with Kersey so you know she will be offed. Gavan O'Herlihy is the recently imprisoned gang leader who kills another gang leader by slicing their throat, and the others all applaud as if the guy made a touchdown! This is the kind of movie where violence is celebrated at every interval. And when Kersey kills gang members, the police show up (despite the police chief giving Paul the right to kill) but when the neighborhood citizens are attacked or killed - the police never arrive. Add to that one tasteless and unnecessary rape scene that was thankfully trimmed and another where a woman is dragged out screaming about to be raped - these moments recall the original films yet their tacked-on inclusion only gives an excuse for Paul's extreme vigilantism which includes using a rocket launcher. Despite those titillating scenes, there is still Ed Lauter as the chief of police eventually joining forces with Paul and you've got "Death Wish 3" which is never boring and trimmed to a tight 93 minutes. It is not a good movie (unlike the original 1974 flick) or a heinously bad one (not unlike "Death Wish II"), just laughable and dumb with no pretensions. Easy paycheck day for Charles Bronson. 

The Garden of Eden is an abandoned factory

 THE PROPHECY II (1998)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Whatever promise the original "The Prophecy" had is lost on the filmmakers with this cheap. darkly lit, quickly pasted together sequel that will make you wish the horror genre did not bounce back after the success of "Scream."

The Second War of the Angels rages on as the angel Danyael (Russell Wong) is nearly killed in a car accident by an RN named Valerie (Jennifer Beals). Danyael forgives her by impregnating her with the sole savior to be - the one who will set right from wrong in the heavens and beyond. Not unless Gabriel
(Christopher Walken) can help it, as he continues his quest of bringing "heaven back to what it was. When we mattered most." Gabriel is relentless and uses a human named Izzy (Brittany Murphy from "Clueless") as a "monkey" for his merciless killings - pulling beating hearts from eyeless angels. Izzy has the best line as Gabriel is unable to drive a car or operate a PC: "You are keeping me alive so you can use DOS?"

Walken keeps things afloat but there is precious little of him. We are subjected to countless scenes of violent beatings, pumping hearts, car crashes, and many canted angles inside churches, alleys, and abandoned factories (some scenes are so dark that it is impossible to discern what is happening). Oh, and there is one heavy sex scene of course. Did I mention the Garden of Eden is one of those abandoned factories?

Beals is purely uncharismatic and devoid of energy throughout this whole affair - she seems unaffected by all the crazy events around her. Murphy as the frazzled "monkey" has some quirky moments but not to the degree that Adam Goldberg's "monkey" had in the original. Eric Roberts also grates the nerves as
the angel Michael - what happened to the wonderful actor from" Pope of Greenwich Village" and "Star 80"?

The original "Prophecy" had humor and horror in equal spurts and had some degree of conviction and atmosphere. There was also a level of poignance as I recall with the possessed Native American child and her relationship with a good angel. This sequel is in-name only in the most literal sense - there is no
horror, no thrills, no humor, no sympathy and no real stake in anything concrete. Seen one prophecy, seen them all.

Angels not feeling God's love

THE PROPHECY (1995)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Make no mistake: "The Prophecy" is not one of the great horror films of all time nor is it on my list among the best, but it is as intelligent and hallucinatory a demon/angel horror flick as we are likely to say for some time. And it is Christopher Walken who transcends its murky storyline.

The film is set in a small Arizona community where there are no secrets, and somehow this is an existential resting area for the archangels and demons from above and beyond. There is the sweet, bearded angel Simon (Eric Stoltz) who takes the souls of humans with him by sucking their breath (a reminder of the breath-sucking gremlin in "Cat's Eye") - in this case, he has taken the soul of the most vile human corpse on earth, a general. The archangel Gabriel (Christopher Walken) is continuing the Second War of the Angels by trying to prevent Simon from continuing his soul-sucking methods - he wants the souls for himself. Somehow, this all relates to a brooding homicide detective (Elias Koteas) who almost became a priest, an elementary school teacher (Virginia Madsen), a Native American child who may or may not be possessed, and so on. We see eyeless angels, morgues, burned corpses, demons chained to rocks, visions of angels impaled in a vast horizon, war atrocities on grainy film stock, and it is all done with style to spare and never gratuitous or exploitative.

"The Prophecy" never makes much sense and I never quite understood Gabriel's intentions - does he want to rule the heavens by taking a few souls or is he just mad at God? Some of this is supposedly based on Milton's "Paradise Lost,"
but it would have been more productive if Lucifer was the one bent on vengeance against all, including God. After all, Lucifer was a former angel, "The Bringer of Light," until he was cast down in Hell after questioning God's blind faith.
The main impetus of the film is that the angels got jealous and felt God did not love them anymore when He gave humans souls but since angels are not human anyway, what do they care?

The main attraction is the tall, entertaining wonder known as Christopher Walken - his trademark tics and maneuvering of body language keeps me interested and riveted from one film to the next. His piercing eyes and offbeat humor are enough compensation and justified when playing a miffed angel like Gabriel - imagine what he could have done as the Tall Man in "Phantasm."

"The Prophecy" is a fitful blend of humor and horror and tends to be over-the-top - Viggo Mortensen overacts and undermines as Lucifer during the fiery finale. Still, it is unusual and enlightening to see a horror film concerned with so much biblical jargon and wars between angels. Milton would have been proud.