Boogie on out of that house

 SINISTER (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It isn't often that an imaginative, supernatural horror flick leaves me partially awake during the night. Sometimes real-life crime stories have that effect on me, particularly missing people cases. "Sinister" frightened me more after I saw it than while I was watching it - the feeling of dread and being disturbed is closer to what I felt while watching and I could not take my mind off of horrifying images that are sure to keep you off balance. 

The opening shot alone (complete with white noise that you might hear if you start playing an old film projector) had me floored and spooked. It is a Super 8mm projection of a family of four with their heads covered as they are hung by rope in a backyard setting. The image was so unsettling, so horrific and somehow so real that I would've given this film high marks if it was an example of short horror film about found footage in someone's attic. "Sinister" has more up its sleeve. A popular non-fiction crime author, Ellison Oswalt (an excellent Ethan Hawke), uproots his family to this particular house with this haunting backyard, unbeknownst to his wife and kids. His plan is to write a book about his blood-curling true crime event because it involves a missing child. What should be an easy tale to spin, especially if he solves the missing child case itself, turns out to be far more complicated and horrifying. A metal case of 8mm reels are found in the attic. Who left them there? Oh, I won't say and the reels are marked and labeled as supposed family outings such as a barbecue, a camping trip, etc. Only the content is not so innocent as their labels indicate - they are haunting and deeply unsettling murders that follow innocent outings. I've seen my share of horror films but the 8mm reel footage is nightmarish.  

If I have one flaw to pick with "Sinister," it is understanding why Ellison never feels the need to tell his wife at least about the history of the house they bought dirt cheap ("Amityville Horror" comes to mind). His caring wife Tracy (Juliet Rylance) shows her support yet she's also skeptical and implies she would rather have him writing school textbooks than a real-life crime tale. Ellison could've told her the truth from the start especially about the 8mm reels. For some reason, the projector starts up on its own yet only awakens Ellison, not the rest of the family. Odd to say the least which means that only Ellison has a connection with something potentially supernatural? Then we discover that someone else in the family does. And the discovery in the snuff film footage of some entity, or is it the actual murderer, will keep your stomach in knots. 

I will not spoil the rest of "Sinister" because even though I had an idea about where it was headed, I was surprised and shocked by the last half-hour which went beyond what I anticipated. It left me in such shock that I was reminded of the beauty of finding a capable director (Scott Derrickson) and capable writers (Scott Derrickson and co-writer C. Robert Cargill) who could summon horrors that have zilch to do with the formulaic "found footage" era or anything remotely "Saw"-like. These guys have created unforgivable, unexpected horrors that exist in the bump of the night and curdle the blood (now I sound like Mary Shelley). Though there are some horror cliches (walking through dark hallways, noises from the attic), they do not come at the expense of the story - they actually make sense and are organic in hindsight! Ethan Hawke and the rest of the cast make us believe and we care for them (even Fred Dalton Thompson as the dubious sheriff and James Ransone as the celebrity-obsessed deputy). The cardinal rules of horror have been followed and "Sinister" also accomplishes something else - it is one of the scariest films I've ever seen.  

Black Balloons are an ominous sign

 THE BLACK PHONE (2022)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Most modern horror films do not grab me, at least in the last decade or so. Blumhouse Horror puts out new rebooted variations on "Halloween" and the upcoming "Exorcist" flick. Still, my interest was sky high when I heard about this "Black Phone" movie and seeing the grainy visual look of the trailer. This is sneaky, pulling-at-your-hair-in-shock-of-what's-around-the-corner horror superbly directed with flair by writer-director Scott Derrickson (the excellent "Sinister"). The title sounds freaky but what really sold me, other than the 1970s Kodak look of it, was Ethan Hawke. If Ethan is on board, so am I.

Ethan Hawke doesn't have a lot of screen time yet his presence and that horrifying mask he wears (designed by makeup legend Tom Savini) is shown often enough to give anyone the heebie jeebies. The film begins in 1978 with the disappearance of a high-school teenage baseball player. He hits a home run and Finney (Mason Thames), the 13-year-old pitcher is miffed yet accepts defeat. Seems like everything is fine until after Finney fires a small rocket and the player approaches a black van. The screen fades out as it does with other disappearances seen in the first hour of the film. The only clue to these missing kids is that black balloons are seen on the road, and Finney's sister, Gwen (Madeleine McGraw) sees them in her nightmares. Meanwhile, after Finney encounters bullies and is saved by one tough kid who also disappears, a black van is seen again with a man wearing a stovepipe hat and now Finney is kidnapped!

"The Black Phone" could easily be nothing more than an eerie kidnapping story not unlike some of the real-life horror stories we have heard for so long of missing kidnapped children. The difference is that the characters are given some insight, some measure of sympathy and we have scenes of familial discord that are uncommon in horror films nowadays. There is the aforementioned bullying of Finney who has to prove he can stand up to anyone (of course, standing up to a child killer is an unprecedented task for this youngster). The physical and emotional abuse from Finney and Gwen's alcoholic father (Jeremy Davies, a hirsute mess) is deeply felt and disturbing, more so for the viewers who can identify with such unwarranted violence. In one particularly fierce scene, the father whips a sobbing Gwen with a belt after he was interrogated by the cops at his job. What makes him mad is that his wife, who committed suicide, had visions in her sleep and it reminds him too much of Gwen's visions of these current disappearances. That scene hit me like a ton of cement blocks, never mind bricks, and how Gwen seeks comfort from Finney while watching TV is emotionally true and devastating. The two kids, Thames and McGraw, are amazingly credible as is Jeremy Davies - this is about as real a dysfunctional family as you are likely to see in a horror flick. 

So how is Ethan Hawke as the Grabber? He is terrifying and the less we see of him, the scarier the guy is. No motive is given and none is necessary. The tragedy masks he wears are to sure make jaded horror fans, myself included, a bit uncomfortable and the most original of its kind we have seen since the Munch-inspired Ghostface mask from "Scream." That is the pervasive feeling underneath "The Black Phone" - the discomfort and the supernatural aspects revolving around a black rotary phone in the basement that rings despite it being disconnected. How Finney deals with the grim situation and with the Grabber will have you rocking back and forth in suspense (added bonus is including Pink Floyd's "On the Run" on the soundtrack to build momentum). Blumhouse Horror has done itself proud with this one - it is literally a grabber. 

Not to be confused with Hamburger: The Motion Picture

 THE BOB'S BURGERS MOVIE (2022)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Sometimes an animated film based off of an animated TV show can go bigger, louder and uncut. Such was the case with "South Park" 23 years ago, and somewhat the case with "The Simpsons Movie" 15 years ago. Geez, where does the time go? The wonderful thing about "The Bob's Burgers Movie" is that it stays on the same wavelength as the show - it is not loud, obtrusive nor does it aim to offend more than the funny bone. "The Bob's Burgers Movie" is a fun, engaging, absurd romp with one of my favorite TV families, the Belchers, and the laughs come fast and its heart is big. Please don't read that last sentence as a blurb on TV - these are good qualities for a big-screen comedy to have.

Bob Belcher (H. Jon Benjamin) runs the "Bob's Burgers" joint sandwiched between a funeral parlor and a clothing store with the occasional bug exterminator van in front of the restaurant (this is the typical opening credits scene). Bob's enthusiastic wife, Linda Belcher (John Roberts) helps run the joint, and they got three precocious kids - Gene, Louise and Tina. Anyone who has seen "Bob's Burgers" knows what to expect yet there are a few surprises in store. The movie begins with a shocking murder where a gunshot is heard at the Wonder Wharf amusement park. On top of that, the Belchers witness a large sinking hole that disrupts their business and they only have 7 days till they pay off their loan or else. How can anyone patronize their burger joint if the sinkhole is right in front of their entrance? Naive yet big-hearted Teddy (Larry Murphy), their neighbor, has some ideas such as a makeshift burger cart with imported olives to boot! Ah, but there is still that unsolved murder and the Belcher's landlord, Calvin Fischoeder (Kevin Kline), has been accused. What to do? Well, it takes the smarts of 9-year-old, bunny-eared Louise Belcher (Kristen Schaal) to find the real culprit. 

"The Bob's Burgers Movie" is chock full of great one-liners, a lot of them given to Teddy ("I've never eaten outside before") and Gene ("You can't handle the tooth!"). I love the relationship between Linda and Bob where Linda is more optimistic than Bob, especially when their restaurant business is facing closure. I was not quite as enthused over the songs and musical numbers - even the series has its share of them and I would prefer less music, more character interaction if only because nobody is capable of carrying a tune. Still, I find it quite amusing to hear Tina (Danny Mintz) singing about her "summer-boyfriend" scenario as she keeps imagining the kid she loves (Jimmy Pesto's son, Jimmy Pesto being the owner of the restaurant across the street from Bob's) is talking to her though she doesn't have the nerve till...oh, I wouldn't dream of it. Her imagined horseback scenario where Jimmy Jr. is wearing only underwear and a shirt as they pass by zombies exists on that surreal playing field of gags from the show where almost anything can happen.

The movie becomes a whodunit and some of that goes a long way (let's say it involves someone we least expect and that character is an annoyance from the start). But "The Bob's Burgers Movie" works best when it deals with the family and their kids. There's Louise working on some deductive detective powers while, in one scene, her bunny-eared hat comes off (it also happened in a TV episode though we have no idea how her hair looks); Tina's obsession over kissing the boy she loves; Gene creating a new musical instrument with utensils and a napkin holder for a new band, and of course Linda and Bob doing the best they can to survive and keep their family together - that is the heart of the movie and the show. The animation is sharp and three-dimensional (just like the show), the comedy bits are often hysterical and the characterizations still hold water. Terrific fun for fans and non-fans alike.

Someone Punch Me Now

 LOOSE SHOES (1980)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

You know you are in trouble when the DVD cover of a movie trailer parody featuring positive quotes from "A Friend in the Family" is funnier than anything in the movie. And by the way, the quotes are about as simplistic as you can imagine and they include howlers such as "Loose Shoes is a Must See" and "Truly Inspired Skits." Yeah, they gave me a smile across my face that lasted half a second. I wish someone had punched me in the face before I even loaded this DVD into the player and reminded me not to bother. Or I wish someone convinced me not to buy it for a dollar at the Dollar Store years ago as it sat here waiting, or daring me, to watch it. I am glad I never saw this in a theater. Anyway, let's get back to the movie. 

"Loose Shoes" is a bunch of faux movie trailers strung together and they are of the scatological nature like "Howard the Huge" (a takeoff on Howard Hughes) and a series of short teasers for "That's Sexploitation!" Otherwise we get such preciously awful ones like "Skateboarders From Hell" (which is so horrendously staged that it is hard to figure if they are imitating the bad Drive-In flicks of the 70's or if the filmmakers were clueless); a talking pig that goes on for far too long; a cumbersome trailer featuring Buddy Hackett and a school for teaching children to stop tinkling outside; a takeoff on Chaplin with a Tramp-like character called "The Bum" which somehow equates Jewish with being Communist (Oh, I am doubling over with laughter), and even Bill Murray wearing heavy eyebrow liner as a prisoner which is good for a chuckle or two. Most of these seem more like extended skits rather than trailers and none would have made it on the air on Saturday Night Live back then.

The best segment has a Woody Allen-like parody of his "Play it Again, Sam" film and the actor perfectly captures Woody's mannerisms and inflection. The worst might be "Darktown after Dark" which is cringeworthy at best with a repeated refrain for a big band song and I'll leave it at that. "Loose Shoes" (originally titled "Coming Attractions") has nothing really of value and no real attitude towards the material it parodies. A parody of Billy Jack called Billy Jerk with him going to Oz doesn't exactly scream Ernst Lubitsch or the ZAZ team. 

Footnote: Apparently the DVD has almost forty minutes of black screen after the movie is over and reportedly so does the VHS version. Now that's funny. 

Watch the skies and that cloud

 NOPE (2022)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I've only seen one other Jordan Peele horror flick and that was "Get Out," which was a considerable improvement over most horror films during the 2010 era. "Get Out" had a purpose and a deliberate emphasis on what lies skin deep in our society with regards to racism. "Nope" is one of the strangest sci-fi horror pictures I've seen in many moons though I am not sure it is any deeper than "Get Out" but I'll accept what is on the surface as surprisingly absorbing.

The film begins with a shocking image of a bloodied chimpanzee who has presumably killed a woman laying on the ground (it turns out the woman survived). The chimp is Gordy and it is part of some TV program where something went terribly wrong. Right then you might assume you walked in to the wrong movie theater but wait. Cut to a horse ranch owned by Otis "OJ" Haywood Jr. (Daniel Kaluuya) and Emerald "Em" Haywood (Keke Palmer, the brightest spot of this movie) who rent out their horses for TV and film productions. When their horse gets startled during rehearsal, the Haywoods are let go and money thus proves to be tight which means selling their horses is their only monetary salvation. One night, the power goes out at their ranch as Em dances to an LP on stereo (oh, I love these people already) and Otis notices a flying disc in the clouds, not to mention lights that go on and off on the other side of his property. Of course those lights are part of a fun little Western theme park called "Jupiter's Claim," owned by Jupe (Steven Yeun) who was one of the kids that witnessed the violent Gordy the chimp back in 1998. Jupe, by the way, not only wants to buy a horse from Otis, he wants the ranch as well.

"Nope" is the type of sci-fi horror that builds slowly and you are not sure where it is headed. At first, the lights from the theme park struck me as an alien presence when in fact they are not. The UFO is actually not a ship, it is a monster with deep digestible tube in its portal. The objects from the sky that kill Otis's father (the always welcome Keith David) are from that UFO and they include silver coins and keys and other items, though at first you are not sure what is coming out of the sky. Once we notice this UFO monster is not a flying disc, then we know trouble is brewing as it resembles some huge weather balloon (unintended reference perhaps to the Roswell incident of 1947). This monster hides behind a motionless cloud and even after you are aware it is an alien presence, I wondered if Jordan Peele was about to drag the rug from under us and reveal some M. Night Shyamalan twist. Thankfully, that is not the case.

"Nope" is leisurely horror and its sci-fi elements are used sparingly (we don't why this alien is territorial and what its purpose is). It may confound many why this movie is nearly over two hours long but that hardly bothered me because I cared about the Haywood siblings and their unexpected goings-on. Daniel Kaluuya plays it so straight as OJ (funny use of those initials) and so unemotional, as if a UFO is the last thing that will intrude upon his life. I was also a little put off by Kaluuya's almost robotic performance yet I got used to it - one surmises that OJ has had his share of troubles in life already. Keke Palmer is fully alive as Em, a sprightly woman who wants to live and push beyond her boundaries. She feels restricted at this ranch yet feels inclined to help her brother out - they look out for each other. Also worth noting is the nosy electronics store clerk (Brandon Perea) who installs surveillance cameras at the ranch and knows instantly that it has to do with aliens! Well, gee, why else would you want surveillance cameras pointed upward? Perea provides some measure of comic relief during "Nope's" many solemn moments. Kudos to the underrated Michael Wincott as a famous cinematographer who wants to capture the UFO with an IMAX film camera. He also dabbles in footage of animal predators, which lends itself to the underlying theme of the movie - never look directly at a predator's eyes.  

Somewhere between being an homage to "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" with a dash of the impending terror pounding sounds of Spielberg's "War of the Worlds" and "Jurassic Park," "Nope" is mostly successful at being spooky and captivating and there are a few scares here and there. After it was over, I began looking at the clouds in the sky and hoped there wasn't one immobile cloud. "Nope" has that curious effect - it sneaks up on you and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.     

Olivia Newton-John's Heart Says Don't Let Go

 OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN IN GREASE

A Remembrance by Jerry Saravia

"Grease" is the most popular musical of the 1970's and I am sure it has gained more popularity since (the movie was also re-released in a sing-along version in theaters). The movie will stay with me as the ideal musical romantic comedy with the perfectly cast John Travolta and the sweet, lovely, winsome Olivia Newton-John as the lovely couple. John Travolta's Danny Zuko is one of the leather-jacketed, 1950's bad boys whose pride is always in check and it is hard to forget Travolta's performance that, in repeated viewings, is actually wittier than I had thought. Ultimately, it is really Olivia Newton-John whom we gravitate to the most as the Australian teenage Sandy Olsson who meets and falls in love with Danny. Of course, when Sandy is admitted to Rydell High, Danny acts like he doesn't know her because his T-Bird greaser gang don't believe in love, only making out. 

"Grease" is an upbeat, revved-up musical but it is not among my favorites in this genre. The ending doesn't quite work which falls into something more fanciful with a fairy-tale touch than what preceded it. Still, I love the music, the expertly-timed dancing and the songs are memorable (especially more memorable than anything in "Grease 2"), and my favorite song and dance number might easily be the rousing number "Greased Lightnin." My favorite of the supporting characters is easily Stockard Channing as Betty Rizzo who chews more gum than I ever did in all my high school years combined. Of course, it goes without saying that Travolta and Newton-John are a dynamic pair and sizzle - who else could do these roles better?

I do have a special fondness for the best scene in the film and it involves Olivia singing the Oscar-nominated "Hopeless Devoted To You." It is sung beautifully as we follow Sandy walking around the community at night singing her heart out to Danny whom we see in a reflection in an inflatable pool of water. It is sad and wistful and just so lovingly performed that you can't help but hope Sandy finds love with Danny. That is the ultimate effect of this deliberately old-fashioned musical and that is the long-lasting effect Olivia Newton-John has left us as well. Rest in Peace, you beautiful spirit.

Highway To the Danger Zone again

 TOP GUN: MAVERICK (2022)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It is not a surprise for any of my regular readers to learn that 1986's "Top Gun" is not a film I love or loathe - to me, it was nothing more than a jingoistic war picture not unlike "Rambo: First Blood Part II" that was released the year earlier. "Top Gun" is a film I instantly forgot to the point that my best friend at the time had to remind me that we saw it. Cut to 36 years later and we got a sequel I thought nobody wanted but I've found that I am wrong about many things. "Top Gun: Maverick" is actually a decent popcorn flick that doesn't seem to be a recruitment film like the original, though I am not sure it will dissuade anyone from joining the Navy. In 1986, it was the startling image of Kelly McGillis who was instrumental in getting young guys to join the Navy. In 2022, it could be Jennifer Connelly but I have not seen the latest Navy recruitment numbers.

Tom Cruise is back as Maverick, not aging too much since those happy-go-lucky days. He is still Captain and never rose in the ranks, and for many he is a killjoy - a top-flight F-18 pilot who can zoom in and out of the sky like nobody's business but is hardly in step with the chain of command. Right at the start of the film, Maverick is already in trouble as he disobeys an order to pilot a supersonic jet from the "Darkstar" program that shows him going at speeds too fast even for Chuck Yeager. The jet is destroyed when he pushes the pedal to the metal. Maverick is told that he is a relic of the past - drones will take over and jets will no longer need pilots. So instead Maverick will be back in the TOPGUN program teaching the best fighter pilots on Earth how to evade radar and destroy a uranium plant while flying low-level in canyons surrounding the target. Sounds like an impossible mission, right? Maverick doesn't think so yet he is, initially, not allowed to go on this mission.

When "Top Gun: Maverick" really works our nerves, it is with the aerial footage which is truly extraordinary and keeps you on your toes. We are right there with the pilots and their efforts to swing the jets up and over cliffs shows how much strain and pain it can cause them. When the movie is on ground level, it sputters a little especially in the beginning. Jennifer Connelly has a magnetism unmatched on the screen and I wish her role was more a supervisory Navy officer rather than some gal owning a bar who used to date Maverick (McGillis played a flight instructor in the original). Connelly looks far too glamorous to own a bar but then I remembered this is "Top Gun," not "Born on the Fourth of July." This whole movie is a boy's own adrenalized fantasy of fighting a war that just incorporates destroying one singular target spot (which made me think of the Death Star's own small portal where a couple of laser strikes was all that was required) and becoming triumphant. 

Though not all the interactions in the film work, some do stick out. I like Miles Teller playing LT Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, wearing shades and singing "Great Balls of Fire" like his dad that passed on in the first film (Rooster's dad was played by Anthony Edwards in the original). I also liked the braggadocious Hangman (Glen Powell), more than likely modeled on the Iceman from the original. And it was the butter on the popcorn delight to see Val Kilmer back as an ailing Iceman - it is short and powerful and one wishes more time was spent on Kilmer. As for the other recruits, they are hardly memorable if only because their dialogue is simply about who's the better pilot as they one-up each other.

For an undistinguished, glorious look at war where the enemies are faceless, "Top Gun: Maverick" will fit the bill just like those old-fashioned war movies of the 40's and 50's. It is entertaining to be sure and the climax thrives on pure adrenaline. You might forget most of the movie after it is over, but it is hard to forget the image of Tom Cruise and those gleaming choppers as he's riding a motorcycle through an air field - a nostalgic 1980's kick in the pants.