Head and Shoulders shampoo is an effective weapon

 EVOLUTION

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed on July 3rd, 2001

The beauty of comedy is that there are no rules and, quite simply, rules are

made to be broken in the comedic arena. Director Ivan Reitman is often aware

of this, as evidenced by his crude though subtly funny "Junior" and, his biggest

hit, "Ghostbusters." Both films redefined the boundaries of good

taste by imbuing crudeness with cleverness rather than cheap, desperate gags

a'la "Austin Powers" that only serve to make the audience puke. Consider

Arnold Schwarzenegger as a pregnant man in "Junior," a premise that is otherwise

ripe for gross-out humor. Instead that film built its premise with wit and

engaging repartee between Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.

"Evolution" does the same thing, imbuing crudeness with cleverness. The premise

deals with a community college science teacher (and former scientist), Ira Kane

(David Duchovny), who partners with a sharp, jocose scientist, Harry Block 

(Orlando Jones), to investigate a flaming meteor that has burned a hole through 

the ground into an underground cavern. Kane's class goes on a field trip to discover

and study this meteor only to find some strange atmosphere has developed at an

accelerated rate, not to mention some expanding and evolving wormlike creatures. 

Kane and Block realize this is no ordinary meteor - it is a fertile ground for alien 

creatures. At first, the creatures seem harmless in the form of butterflies until they 

later evolve into flying dinosaurs, raging blue monkeys and some shapeless 

matter in the form of large intestines.

The only way to approach "Evolution" is by checking your brain at the entrance

door of the cinema before the first reel is projected. It is a one-note joke

movie to be sure but it has moments of eye-opening special-effects, shrewd 

one-liners and moments where you will literally jump out of your seat. It mostly pokes

fun at "Independence Day" right down to the climax involving those humongous

 intestines where a central digestive tract is the target for destruction - the 

expansive mass even looks like a spaceship. Mostly, the screenplay by David 

Diamond, David Weissman and Don Jakoby focuses on bodily functions and 

sexual entendres, as well as creepy monsters hiding inside harmless looking 

alien slugs and such. Many of the sexual entendres center around Julianne 

Moore as an assistant to a soldier-scientist (Ted Levine) - she is regarded 

at one point as an "icy goddess in desperate need of some humping." 

Speaking of the ravishing Moore, it is nice to see her as a clumsy woman

 who keeps tripping over objects every once in a while.

"Evolution" is cutesy nonsense and often quite funny and engaging. It is

actually a breath of fresh air as compared to the gross-out humor so reminiscent

of most comedies nowadays - wit and some dry humor are this

film's virtues. As for performances, Duchovny and Jones make a delightful pair

and Moore is lots of fun to watch - nice to see her handle comedy for a

change in contrast to her dramatic roles. Only Ted Levine seems a little out

of his element as the straight-faced soldier scientist, Dr. Woodman, who

doesn't want Kane anywhere near these aliens.

"Evolution" is not as frantically funny or as visually inventive as Reitman's

"Ghostbusters," but it will suffice in what has been a dry couple of years

of laughless comedies.

Kermit never ate a human

 FROGS (1972)

A Lack of Appreciation by Jerry Saravia

All Frogs Great and Small. Frog statues surround a mansion. The mansion's owner is played by Ray Milland who is in a wheelchair, barking orders at the help, and he wants to get rid of All Frogs Great and Small. Sam Elliott is a nature photographer who takes pictures briefly, is almost killed when his boat nearly collides with another and is fleetingly barechested in one scene. Elliott later visits the mansion...because it is a July 4th celebration? Oh, no, he wants to warn against the pesticides and has incredible intuition about how the wildlife will fight back? Joan van Ark has seemingly drifted in from Knots Landing, and she meets and is seemingly smitten with Sam (sans mustache, stubble and gravely voice) and says she almost went to his room at the mansion and decided against it. Why? There are ribbit sounds every few minutes. So begins "Frogs"!

This is the kind of movie where people who live at the mansion go on nature walks looking for each other, unaware that rattlesnakes and crocodiles pollute the woodsy areas. If they know this, how do they not protect themselves? Oh, yes, there are dozens of frogs everywhere and a few have a thing for July 4th cake! Yum, yet not one frog eats a human (despite the false advertising) and the snakes bite and sometimes end up in the chandelier at the mansion ruining everyone's dinner plans. Lizards can sometimes drop a gaseous poison bottle inside a greenhouse and asphyxiate a victim. This movie is allegedly a nature striking back at man B-movie only Hitchcock's "The Birds" did it better and with more sense and less pesticides. The last shot is the best, right past the end credits, as an animated frog eats a human hand. I think I will stick to Kermit the frog who never ate a human. 

Julia Roberts is my favorite sweetheart

AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed on August 8th, 2001

I consider it sinful to cast Julia Roberts in a movie nowadays. She is such a
watchable presence and has such a stunning smile that it is easy to see why
she's a movie star. Star first, actor second. The truth is that she has always
impressed me as an actress first, movie star second. Even in mediocre films like
"Sleeping With the Enemy" or "Dying Young," she has proven her worth and her
talent is undeniable, particularly her finest Oscar-nominated role in "Erin
Brockovich." Amazingly, she is given a tertiary role in producer Joe Roth's
directorial debut, "America's Sweethearts." Wise move since it gives us the
chance to see Roberts participate in an ensemble for once rather than center
stage.

"America's Sweethearts" are Gwen Harrison (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and Eddie
Thomas (John Cusack), a formerly married movie star couple who have not spoken
to each other in a year. Gwen has moved on and carried on an affair with a
Spanish hunk (a hilarious Hank Azaria). Eddie has taken leave of absence at a
clinic with the help of a long silvery-haired guru (Alan Arkin) to try and
recuperate. Gwen has gone solo at the movies sans Eddie and has remained a
box-office flop ever since. Now rumors abound that a new film called "Time After
Time" (the last time the pair had appeared together onscreen) has finally been
completed by a revered, Oscar-nominated director Hal Weidmann (Christopher
Walken). The trick is that Weidmann refuses to show the film until the day of
the press junket. This drives irate studio chief, Dave Kingman (Stanley Tucci),
insane. He decides to enlist the help of sly press agent, Lee Philips (Billy
Crystal), to concoct a supposed reconciliation between Gwen and
Eddie so that their new film can become a hit. Lee seeks the help of Gwen's 

personal assistant and sister, Kiki (Julia Roberts), to make this work. But 

will Gwen and Eddie be able to stand each other? And is Kiki interested in

 Eddie since he once kissed her when he was drunk?

"America's Sweethearts" is an old-fashioned Hollywood romance masquerading as a
smart satire on Hollywood, as well as mixing a dash of the screwball comedy
genre. It is not an even mix considering that the screwball portion is left on
the sidelines (except for one slightly tired bit about a dog) and hardly coaxes
much out of a romantic triangle that feels a tinge forced, lacking the punch
that leads to an expected payoff. The satire on Hollywood is by now a cliche
but it leads to the zingiest scenes in the film (the screenplay was co-written
by Billy Crystal). In other words, the film is often a mess but an enjoyable
mess nonetheless.

I was surprised by how good the performances were and how well-timed in terms of
comic pacing. Catherine Zeta-Jones ends up stealing the movie from everyone and
deservedly so. She plays the bitchiest diva on screen in quite some time, and
about as needy and cumbersome as one can expect. She has no conscience and
demands too much from her overworked sister, Kiki. Zeta-Jones' scenes with
Roberts lacks some insight but they are still believable as siblings.
John Cusack may have the toughest role as Eddie since we know he is still in
love with Gwen after their break-up - he also develops feelings rather quickly
for Kiki. Only we wonder what was so wonderful about a bitchy goddess like Gwen?
What exactly did Eddie see in her? Cusack has played a sad sack before but here,
he does it with more restraint than usual. His dinner scene with Roberts is
breathlessly good, exuding more romantic charisma than in most teen romance
comedies.

I am a big, supportive fan of Julia Roberts and always look forward to seeing
her onscreen. In this film, Roberts, like Cusack, is a bit more laid-back than
usual and it serves the purpose of the character Kiki. She is at her winsome
best and has a terrific scene where she erupts with rage at Cusack and
Zeta-Jones by dumping scrambled eggs on them! Also, it is a rarity to see
Roberts in a flashback appearing forty pounds heavier!

There is also a great supporting cast at hand, including Crystal who is simply
marvelous as always as the anything-goes press agent who is willing to create
drama in the actors' lives to promote a film. Seth Green is astoundingly funny
as Crystal's naive trainee who has no concept of film history. Also worth
mentioning is the amazing Christopher Walken, playing an eccentric director who
claims to have made the most honest film of his career ("Even Kubrick was
misunderstood.").

"America's Sweethearts" is largely and consistently funny enough to get a
passing grade. A riotous last half-hour gives it the necessary lift it so
desperately needs. The whole cast is sweetly engaging but Roberts is still my
favorite sweetheart.

Frolicsome dinner party you don't want to end

 WAKING NED DEVINE (1998)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Irish villages in the movies are becoming as common as actors sporting Irish
accents, such as Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. "Waking Ned Devine" is a harmless,
pleasant black comedy that aims at the funny bone in delicate, sophisticated
ways and, oh, the actors really seem Irish, too.

The movie begins with Jackie O'Shea (Ian Bannen) clutching a lottery ticket
and claiming that he's won millions. Truth is he just wanted to tease his wife
into bringing him dessert while watching TV. Later, it turns out that in the
cozy, rainy village of Tully More, Ireland (actually the Isle of Man, which is
not quite Ireland), somebody has won the lottery. Jackie, along with his best
friend, Michael O'Sullivan (David Kelly), aims to locate the lucky winner. In a
place with a population of 51, it can't be too difficult. But who could it be?
Is it the smelly pig farmer or the single mother he pines for? The witch-like
eccentric woman? The lucky winner is actually a Ned Devine, who died while
holding the winning ticket. Jackie decides that the ticket is his, and basks in
the glory that the money will bring him.

"Waking Ned Devine" doesn't quite end there since there are many surprises and
delights that unfold along its merry way. There is also a wicked sense of humor
throughout, particularly involving naked motorists, prying a dead man's mouth
open, a funeral for a living person, and some hysterical business involving a
telephone booth.

The supporting characters could have used more depth (the pig farmer is a good
example), but the film is a breezy triumph of comic spirit and laughter. Ian
Bannen and David Kelley have the kindest faces I've seen at the movies in quite
some time - they linger long after the movie is over. When these two appear on
screen, "Waking Ned Devine" becomes a frolicsome dinner party that you don't
want to end.

Brief Encounter crossed with Lawrence of Arabia

 THE ENGLISH PATIENT (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Audiences are in favor of love stories told in the traditional Hollywood
manner: sweeping locales, breathtaking scenery, crisp dialogue, and, more
importantly, romantic chemistry between two gorgeous Hollywood stars. We have
been privy to sweeping love stories such as "Sense and Sensibility," which was
much admired by Hollywood and the Academy Awards, as was "Titanic." In 1996, it
was "The English Patient," a flawed yet superbly acted romantic tragedy told
mostly in flashbacks, and set prior to World War II. It's "Brief Encounter"
crossed with "Lawrence of Arabia" (funny that they were both directed by David
Lean). It has romance to spare but, in terms of tragic love, it doesn't have
much weight.

"The English Patient" is the Hungarian Count Almasy (Ralph Fiennes), who is on
an expedition with a group of cartographers in the blazingly hot desert of
North Africa. It is there that he meets and falls in love with Katherine
Clifton (Kristin Scott Thomas), the noble, beautiful wife of one of the
cartographers. When Katherine's husband leaves for another expedition, the two
embark on a passionate love affair, instigated by their bonding in a sandstorm.

Count Almasy is the narrator of the film, telling his story in a deathbed after
being horribly burned in a plane crash. He's cared for by his nurse, Hana
(Juliette Binoche), who decides to stay in a nearly decrepit castle with this
"english patient." The present storyline is set during the last days of World
War II, but the Count remains haunted by Katharine's death and by the intrusion
of a wandering thief, Caravaggio (Willem Dafoe) - he recognizes the Count and
suffers a physical handicap as well.

"The English Patient" is a beautifully mounted film told in the typical
Hollywood style - the opening shot of the contours of the desert layered
against a plane flying overhead is an extraordinary moment to behold. The movie
has all the right ingredients of an old-fashioned Hollywood romance yet it
somehow manages to trivialize the crucial romance...between Almasy and
Katherine. Their relationship leaves you out in the cold because
writer-director Anthony Minghella ("Truly, Madly, Deeply") truncates too many
scenes between them. The strong passionate romance is only suggested and,
therefore, it misses at becoming an affair we can become involved in and its
eventual tragic repercussions. That leaves room for the other supporting
characters such as the always grinning Hana, who is completely devoted to
Almasy, and falls in love with an Indian soldier, Kip (Naveen Andrews). There's
also the thief and morphine addict, Caravaggio, who has a personal vendetta
against our scarred hero. This is a character who becomes secondary and trivial
when comparing to the overwhelming love stories the movie wants to tell.
Caravaggio keeps intruding the narrative.

The relationship between Hana and Kip is sweet and invigorating, and it
climaxes with Ella Fitzgerald singing "Cheek to Cheek" on the soundtrack.
There's also a moment that is quite intoxicating - it is when Hana observes a
bare-chested Kip washing his long, flowing black hair. She is aroused by it,
and it is a moment that is as breathtaking as you can imagine - a moment to
stop time. There are several scenes like that especially when Hana and Kip
elevate themselves with a harness to look at an enormous painting using flares
in the darkness. These are precisely the moments missing in the
Almasy-Katherine affair.

The love affair between Almasy and Katharine is handled with just as much
discretion but it feels wrongfully neglected. The chemistry between Ralph
Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas crackles with excitement yet the affair is not
equally handled as scorchingly - Ralph Fiennes's performance is fine but he
projects a cold, detached mood that deemphasizes the love story. As Almasy
reminisces in his final days about her, it becomes just that - a reminiscence
lacking in substance. We see how much they love each other but we never really
see how they become in love with another. It is really only the love affair
between Hana and Kip that makes us feel the passion and commitment between two
lovers. The late, great director David Lean, who made some of the most
enlightening romances of the last thirty years, showed you the passion and the
tragic loss of love in its entirety.

"The English Patient" is an exquisite film and it is beautifully acted by all
the principal actors. It certainly makes you see the tragic consequences of
their love affair, but it doesn't invite you to share them.

Woody Allen sings?

 EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Of all of Woody Allen's movies, his latest work, "Everyone Says I Love You," is
his most typical and, paradoxically, his most atypical. It is modern-day New
York mixed with the typical romanticized love story parallels and heartaches.
There's one crucial difference, the cast members break out singing different
songs and ballads from the 30's and 40's at the most inappropriate times.
Allen's hybrid of musical and romantic comedy is not a complete success, but
who cares? It is so funny that you'll forget and forgive its faults.

Woody Allen stars as Joe, a writer living in Paris who constantly migrates to
New York to visit his daughter, DJ (Natasha Lyonne), and his ex-wife (Goldie
Hawn). DJ lives with her mother and her stepfather (Alan Alda), along with some
half siblings, on Manhattan's Upper East Side. Joe is a lonely guy (a typical
Woody egoist) until he meets the woman of his dreams in Venice (she's played by
the luminous Julia Roberts). DJ is visiting her father at the time and
instantly recognizes her - she's a psychiatric patient of her mother's. When
Joe realizes he shares no common interests with her, DJ feeds him all the
details of her life by eavesdropping on her psychiatric sessions.

Another major subplot in the film involves Holden (Edward Norton) who is
engaged to Skylar (Drew Barrymore), one of the offspring of the East Side
family clan. He wants to propose to her in a restaurant, and proceeds to give
her the engagement ring which he hides in a custard pie. Skylar takes a bite of
the pie, and what occurs thereafter is one of the most laugh-out loud moments
I've experienced in the movies in quite a while.

As a movie, "Everyone Says I Love You" is heavily disorganized and messy but
never boring or uninspired. The deftly funny musical numbers are what gives
Woody's oft-told tale of romance and neurosis an added texture of wit. And yes,
all the cast members sing and they sing badly but who cares? This is a comedy
musical that makes a mockery of the musical form by having everyone burst into
song at the most inappropriate moments. It's not meant to be "West Side Story."

One of the highlights is Edward Norton (clearly the best singer in the cast)
crooning "Just You, Just Me" at the start of the film, or when he's shopping
for Skylar's engagement ring and sings "My Baby Just Cares For Me." Less
effective (and downright embarrassing) is Woody Allen mumbling the words to
"I'm Thru With Love" (he thankfully cuts the singing short). Two of the most
side-splitting numbers are: "Makin' Whoopee," a production number performed by
hospital doctors and patients with crutches, and "Enjoy Yourself (It's Later
Than You Think)" which is sung by ghosts in a funeral home (When was the last
time you saw ghosts singing a tune?) The true comic highlight is the
effervescent Goldie Hawn doing a flying duet with Woody reprising "I'm Thru
With Love" - it is the one number that shows the absurdity in the charming,
romantic silliness of those early 30's and 40's musicals.

Beyond the sheer comic inventiveness of the musical strategy, "Everyone Says I
Love You" is too thinly plotted and structured for my taste. The notion of
having the irritating DJ serve as the narrator is dubious and tiresome at best.
It should have been Woody narrating (as he did memorably in "Annie Hall" and
"Radio Days") - he can deliver dialogue with delectable comic timing and
energy. Some characters drift in and out of focus so quickly, you'll be hard
pressed to figure out their purpose. There's too little of Edward Norton and
Woody Allen, and too much of Drew Barrymore unconvincingly smiling and flirting
with Tim Roth, who plays an unrefined criminal.

On the whole, the performances are terrific, and I especially enjoyed the
Woodman's relationship with Julia Roberts (she shines more brightly here than
ever before). I also liked the fast-talking Alan Alda and the sprightly Goldie
Hawn in the best and shrewdest role of her career. And let's not exclude the
siblings of the East Side clan, including Natalie Portman who has a sobbing
fit and hilariously starts singing, and the wide-eyed Lukas Haas as the
dogmatic Republican son of the family ('The American people should have a right
to bear arms'). "Everyone Says I Love You" is one of the most endearing
of the experimental films of Woody's career. At the ripe old age of 61, he is
still the funniest and most original comic writer of the 20th century. Nobody
else could have tackled a concoction like this, and make it work. Or make it as
funny and strangely moving.

I'll Charge it to the Underhills

 FLETCH (1985)

An Appreciation by Jerry Saravia

Chevy Chase's movie roles have run very hot and extremely cool, like 20 below. In the 1980's, he had some genuine comic treats like "Seems Like Old Times" and "National Lampoon's Vacation" and some hilarious moments in "Caddyshack" and "Three Amigos." Yet even amongst the good films he made, there were still numbing atrocities like "Deal of the Century," "Under the Rainbow," "Modern Problems" and even "Fletch Lives." You can't get me started on "Caddyshack II" because I have not seen it (perhaps for the better). I mention his 80's success and follies only because his wisecrackin' investigative reporter Fletch F. Fletch (Don't call him Irwin) in Michael Ritchie's fabulously funny and clever "Fletch" is such an anomaly. Chevy Chase really seems to be playing a character and his wisecracks define his character. That is why "Fletch," though not one of the greatest comedies of all time, is such a spirited, sly delight and gives Chevy Chase a chance to carry a film with his ample, romantic charm and of course his wisecracks.

"Fletch" was a 1985 box-office hit yet it also remains a quotable cult hit. It is so memorably quotable that according to "Fletch's" screenwriter Andrew Bergman, it is a mandatory prerequisite to recite every line of dialogue to join Princeton University's Eating Club. "Charge it to the Underhills" and, in the medical records room, "Do you have a copy of the Beatles' White Album?" - these are funny and become funnier the more often you see the movie. When Fletch, who scores many of these comic quotes, calls his news scooper assistant Larry (Geena Davis) and says, "Love your body Larry" while a motel owner looks on, you can't help but laugh. You also wonder how few pop culture references are retained by many of the characters Fletch confronts. The villain of the film, Boyd Aviation Senior Executive Alan Stanwyk (Tim Matheson), thinks Fletch is some sort of junkie living in the beach and asks Fletch to murder him for the insurance policy. Fletch uses the name "Ted Nugent" and talks about "Hopalong Cassidy" and clearly Alan has no idea he's being put on. How can you not know who Ted Nugent is but know Little Bo Peep?  

Despite the innumerable wisecracks and the various disguises (my favorites are the Washington, D.C. SEC investigator with a bloody nose, and the Harry S. Truman insurance agent), "Fletch" scores highest when Chevy Chase mutes his comic side and gets serious. Few can beat Chase for looking a little terrified by the Chief of Police (Joe Don Baker) who threatens to shoot him if Fletch prints the story of crooked policemen and drug trafficking. These moments and the climax where he confronts Alan show Chase at his most vulnerable yet still able to hold his own, seeking justice and righting all wrongs. Yet there is still Chase playing Fletch as the wisecracker who will not back down from start to finish, making us care about him without ever resorting to maudlin inclinations. It is an impressive performance in its own way, combining stubbornness with resilience and a wink. 

"Fletch" is not perfect yet it is pitch perfect (with a slightly complicated story told simply and without fuss) and it is a nearly seamless blend of comedy, action and detective noir. The one thrilling chase scene, complemented with a "Beverly Hills Cop"-type soundtrack song by Dan Hartman ("Get Outta Town"), finds something fresh in having Fletch in a getaway car with a young car thief! It also helps to have a well-rounded, colorful cast including Tim Matheson, playing it real straight as Alan, the bigamist drug smuggler; Joe Don Baker as the crooked Chief of Police; Richard Libertini as Fletch's boss whose smile at Fletch's romantic manner is something you won't soon forget; Dana Wheeler-Nicholson as the put-upon rich wife of Alan's; George Wendt as Fat Sam whose dilapidated hamburger stand is a front for drug smuggling, and a precious bit by George Wyners as raincoat-wearing lawyer for Fletch's ex-wife. The Gregory McDonald book features a more mean-spirited, callous Fletch but I think I prefer Chevy Chase's smart-aleck approach. He knows he might be in over his head but he doesn't care.