Time-traveling Slashery goofiness

 TOTALLY KILLER (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Youtube horror movie reviewer Cody Leach got it right - there is a subgenre of slasher horror that mashes good-natured sci-fi and fantasy and whatever else. "Totally Killer" is totally that kind of spirited, goofy, pop-cultured carnival mashup of a movie - a suspenseful time-traveling "Back to the Future" mashup with slasher tendencies of the "Scream" variety. Thankfully, those tendencies are kept to a minimum. 

The Sweet Sixteen Killer might be back in Vernon, a small town where not much happens. This killer wears a smiling Max Headroom-type mask complete with an arched eyebrow and, back in 1987, had stabbed three different high-school girls sixteen times on Halloween night. The latest victim in 2023 is not a high-school teen girl but rather a protective mother (Julie Bowen) of a high-school teen girl who has problems of her own, Jamie Hughes (Kiernan Shipka). Mom is attacked and killed by the supposed Sweet Sixteen Killer. Jamie can't hold back her tears and her father tries his best to soothe the loss. For a singular moment, I was reminded a little of Scott Derrickson's "The Black Phone" as the overcast tones gave off something unsettling in the air, not to mention the fractured relationship between Jamie and her parents. Pretty soon, though, the movie dives right in to Something Goofy This Way Comes as we see an amusement park that looks abandoned and unkempt yet still in working condition. Jamie is introduced to the park's one photo booth that is actually a time machine by her genius friend, Amelia (Kelcey Mawema). That's right, Amelia is a science wiz and no doubt that this invention would nag her a top prize at the science fair. When the killer comes calling for blood at the amusement park, Jamie hides in the phone booth and inadvertently activates it traveling back to 1987!  

Once she arrives in 1987, culture shock hits Jamie like a tidal wave of a most un-woke era. The high-school kids are mean and use words like "fat" and some unprintable sexual scatalogical language. Her future mother Pam (Olivia Holt) is actually mean and bullish as well (yep, a reference to "Mean Girls" figures here) and can't begin to comprehend Jamie's wagging-finger-of-shame at these un-PC high-schoolers. These kids are rough and play dodgeball fast and loose causing Jamie to have a bloody nose (oh, poor baby). Ultimately, the 1980's is hard living and DNA is still nonexistent so fingering the killer with evidence will be complicated. Jamie aims to protect her future mother and the other three girls from getting killed but can she convince them she's from the future? Can she also convince Amelia's mother? 

"Totally Killer" is a tasty confection to be sure full of refreshing surprises both comedic and horrific. The killer, an expert in karate, is truly a malevolent villain - his grinning mask is probably just as frightening as Ghostface from the "Scream" movies and the whodunit mystery resolution left me shocked. What truly stands out in all this tongue-in-cheek splendor is Kiernan Shipka who goes from dour teenager to an engaging young woman who has found herself in the dreary 80's decade - she may not appreciate the lewdness of the teenagers but she manages to help them find their humanity, including Pam. She makes them care and who would've guessed that we would find life lessons in a less gory, slightly elevated and highly entertaining slasher flick. Jamie changes history almost as often as Marty McFly did in "Back to the Future." This unusual movie almost made me want to go back in time to the 1980's. Almost. 

Careless muddled action

THE PEACEMAKER (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Something was off in the first fifteen minutes of "The Peacemaker." I knew it when one lower
ranking officer survives a colliding train wreck just before a nuclear explosion is set off that he
probably would be killed. And it happens, in the first fifteen minutes. Of course, some other
Bosnian official or nationalist is eliminated in the first minute of the film, and we never learn
who he was, his purpose or his relation to the rest of the plot. It is that kind of movie, short
on logic and long on action-oriented mood.

There is Nicole Kidman as Dr. Julia Kelly, a White House expert on nuclear missiles and nuclear missile smugglers, who figures that the Russian nuclear explosion was no accident - it was a terrorist act. There is the no-nonsense, impulsive Colonel Thomas Devoe (George Clooney), an intelligence officer who interrupts her briefing to certify that the satellite photos show people jumping off a train before the fatal train collision. Hence, the collision was no accident either. So they are now in pursuit of nine nuclear bombs, including one that is inside a terrorist's knapsack! We learn some backstory about the terrorist, mainly that he lost his family to snipers in Yugoslavia. He is quite mad about that. Amazingly, we learn next to nothing about our pursuers. Kidman's Dr. Julia's only noticeable trait is that she swims. Colonel Devoe happens to know much more about world politics than the doctor and has so many connections that one might ask, why does she occasionally tag along with him around the world? What does he need her for?

"The Peacemaker" has great locations and a great sense of time and place, but it is really just an overlong, muddled action movie. Villains come and go with great ease and we get reminders of the Gulf War, and there are many shots of satellite video feeds and photos. The action scenes are well-paced and
thrilling, but so what? What is "The Peacemaker" really about and where is the sense of urgency when we can't tell one arbitrary villain from another?

For all its high octane action sequences and generic explosions, "The Peacemaker" is not much of a movie. It is occasionally diverting enough, especially during a tense climax in New York City, but we care less about the characters and more about the villain's tearful plea for the "way things were."
A careless muddle, at best.

Cheap Trick

 TAKING LIVES (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed on March 20th, 2004

Peter Bogdanovich once made a startling comment about Orson Welles's "Touch of Evil." He said that it took more than twenty viewings before he realized there was a plot. That means he was taken in by the innovative style and atmosphere of the film. Indeed, "Touch of Evil" is one of the best noir thrillers ever
made, and all the more innovative for its strong, stark photography and sublime use of overlapping sound. Amazingly, "Taking Lives" is superbly shot and tightly edited and has a strong sense of atmosphere as well. Well, at least for the first hour, until it becomes as overdone as a sirloin steak. And I do not believe there is much of a plot either, so don't ask me to watch it nineteen times.

Angelina Jolie plays Illeana Scott, a soft-spoken FBI agent assigned to a murder case in Montreal. For some reason, the French-Canadian cops do not have access to FBI agents in their own country so they get one from Washington, D.C. Perhaps FBI has no offices in Canada (though I am sure there must be some) or none of the agents look like the babelicious Angelina Jolie. Ah, a better reason. The murder involves a disfigured body, presumably with the eyes buried underneath the skin! Ms. Scott has to find the villain, and so we meet two potential suspects. One is James Costa (Ethan Hawke), a successful gallery owner who had witnessed another crime involving someone's head getting bashed
in. The other is a mystery figure played by Kiefer Sutherland, whom I can't say much about because I am still not clear what his relation is to the story. So who killed whom? What is the deal with these disfigured bodies? And how about the basement sequence where the presumed killer is hiding under a bed? Or the concerned mother (Gena Rowlands) who says her son is still alive?

What we have here is a film full of red herrings and twists that lead nowhere. All I can say is that I guessed who the killer was from the beginning. Therefore, we lurch forward waiting for some element of surprise, something to make us guess that our initial suspicions were false. Or perhaps we can learn a
little something about Jolie's agent, whose only noticeable quirk is that she sleeps in the area where the murder victims are found. Outside of that, she is not half as interesting as Jodie Foster's Clarice Starling in "Silence of the Lambs," the model by which all female enforcers are to be judged. Ethan Hawke
is less charismatic than usual, but he does try. The French Canadian cops (two of whom are played by Jean-Hughes Anglade and Tcheky Karyo, both from "La Femme Nikita") are given little screen time except for the tough cop (Olivier Martinez) who hates Ms. Scott and even gives her a good wallop. Only Kiefer Sutherland comes across with presence and vitality. His one superb moment is done with no dialogue - he tries to get Hawke's attention by tapping a glass partition with the ring on his finger. That singular moment has more suspense and verve than almost anything else in the movie.

"Taking Lives" has a brilliant opening credits sequence (no doubt inspired by "Seven") and, as I said, the first half of the movie has the intensity of an above-average thriller. But then the movie veers into a hot lava bed of melodrama (that includes a car chase and a fiery explosion!) and closes with a
cheap trick that gives new meaning to the word "implausible." It is the sort of cheap, false, dishonest ending you might expect in an Angelina Jolie movie. Anyone care to remember "Original Sin"?

Switching faces

 FACE/OFF (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed in the spring of 1998

After seeing the implausible "Air Force One," I thought to myself - the action genre is dead and buried. Then comes "Face/Off," which is superior in every way despite having an even more ludicrous storyline.

The vibrant John Travolta plays an FBI agent, Sam Archer, whose son was killed by a colorful, psychopathic terrorist named Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage). Sam has a vendetta and wants to capture Castor. Castor is caught and wounded, and placed in a coma. Sam has a problem, though: he needs to find a bomb that is planted somewhere in the vast metropolis of Los Angeles. Despite some objections, Sam has his face surgically removed and implanted with the comatose Castor's! This way, Sam can pretend to be Castor making it easier to find where the bomb is
hidden. Problem is the real Castor has awakened from his coma, and has had his face surgically implanted with Sam's! Farfetched? You bet.

The difference between "Face/Off" and "Air Force One" is that "Face/Off" is actually great fun and it's also wickedly entertaining: it takes its inventive premise and brings it to life with imagination and fire. The tour-de-force is
John Travolta and Nicolas Cage who each cleverly play two roles: Travolta is the obsessed, quiet, compassionate Sam, and also plays the devious, evil Castor unbeknownst to Sam's family (they include Joan Allen as Sam's wife, Dominique Swain as his daughter). There's one priceless moment where Travolta as Castor gleefully announces, "Things are going to change around here."

Cage naturally plays the grandiose Castor who walks around in red and black attire complete with two gold-plated guns, and he also convincingly adopts Sam's placid nature while trying to prove to Castor's foes that he is the brutal
Castor, and simultaneously tries to prove to his wife that he is the real Sam! Both actors pull this off brilliantly (and they should be nominated for Oscars). Travolta had the best role (or roles) of his career since "Pulp Fiction," and
Nicolas Cage proves that he hasn't lost his offbeat nature (look at the hilarious scene where he dons priestly robes and sings "Hallelujah!").

"Face/Off" is that rarity: a smart, complex, humanistic, fast-moving character study draped with director John Woo's trademark slo-mo, close-up visuals and outrageous, explosive action. It's like watching a live-action comic book. The
film may have too high a body count and seem somewhat relentless, but it's always top-notch in every other department. "Air Force One" is the mediocre, senseless, exploitative action picture with little to remind us of the great
Harrison Ford films of the past. "Face/Off" shows that some imagination can still spill into your local multiplex from an accomplished director. The choice is ultimately yours.

Root for the Underdog

 MYSTERY, ALASKA (1999)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Sports movies are not my favorite genre, though I have admired movies like "Rocky," "Raging Bull," "Tin Cup" and "Hoosiers," to name a few. "Mystery, Alaska" focuses on ice hockey, which is hardly a sport I can stand watching (and I am partly Canadian) yet it won me over. This is a dramatic, offbeat kind of comedy-drama that aims high with an unusual set of characters and an uplifting enough story to rise above its cliches.

Set in the fictional town of Mystery, Russell Crowe is John Biebe, the local sheriff who is something of a local hockey hero. Unfortunately, his hockey team is letting him go and making him coach to make room for a teenage player with the right stuff. John's ego is hurt but he goes along with it. His wife, Donna (Mary McCormack), supports him yet feels his pain. And just in the nick of time comes an announcement that the NHL is sending the New York Rangers to play an exhibition game with this Alaskan team. The problem is that the team only plays on Saturdays and insist on playing in a black pond of ice! The NHL and the Rangers see it differently, as does eager promoter Charles Danner
(Hank Azaria), a former Mystery resident who gave the Mystery team glowing reviews on a Sports Illustrated issue.

"Mystery, Alaska" juggles a few characters around such as Charles Danners' pining for John's wife; the local attorney (Maury Chaykin) who deals with a big shot retail owner (Michael McKean, always a
pleasure to see); Burt Reynolds as the local Judge Burns who hates the game and hates his son for playing it; another hotshot player (Ron Eldard) who has nothing better to do than to play hockey and have sex, including having an affair with the mayor's wife (Lolita Davidovich), and Mystery's mayor (Colm Meaney) who wants nothing more than to expose their little town to the big hockey leagues.

"Mystery, Alaska" is a charming, inoffensive picture with enough humor and pathos to make it special. All these actors are some of my favorites so to see them on screen is a pure delight. Russell Crowe
plays one of the looser characters of his career, not the glum variety of post-"Gladiator" period, and he has a special chemistry with McCormack. Also worth noting is Hank Azaria who is so full of life
playing a sports promoter that you are ready to play along with whatever he pitches. And what a pleasure to see Burt Reynolds at his understated best, throwing asides with the ease of a real actor who
doesn't have to do much to sell a scene. If he had more colorful roles like this one, Burt might have really recharged his career in this post-"Boogie Nights" period. Only Maury Chaykin's attorney character leaves something to be desired, and I would've like more screen time for my favorite Spinal Tap member but that is just me.

"Mystery, Alaska" waxes on praise and pride for the underdogs, and resentment and pure vitriol for anything too commercial or mainstream that intrudes on small-town values. When the big game arrives at the climax (and I will not dare spoil who the winner is), the town's residents on the bleachers read the newspapers as the Rangers make their entrance on the ice. The Mystery residents welcome the chance to play with a national team and yet detest them at the same time. Same with the retail chain that almost opens in their town - anything commercial is outlawed. It's that kind of old-fashioned small-town
movie that may leave you feeling very satisfied.

Billions and Billions of calories

SUPER SIZE ME (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia  

It is obvious that feeding yourself nothing but McDonald's hamburgers for one month would make one sick - it would me make quite sick. Try consuming such meals three times a day and watch how it affects your diet. Documentarian Morgan Spurlock attempts just that and his results are unsurprising and entertaining.

So Morgan Spurlock checks himself with doctors and fitness trainers to be sure he is in fine health before embarking on a junk food diet. It turns out his health is fine, his blood pressure is normal and he can now disavow his vegan ways. So the first day, Spurlock eats a Super Size meal for breakfast, and let us say that the results are not surprising - he starts to vomit outside his car window. Super
Size french fries, Super Size soda drink, Super Size cheeseburger and much more follow, leading to a gain in weight, headaches, more vomiting, lack of sex drive, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, lethargy, etc. Along the way, we learn about the high calorie content in these processed foods, salt content, saturated fats and that these nutritional contents are hidden in almost every McDonald's
restaurant. We also learn that ordering a smaller size of fries or burger value meals is still more food than should be consumed for the same size (unless you order a one-dollar cheeseburger). So here's the outstanding shocker of Spurlock's fast food diet - he consumes as much as 5,000 calories a day! As the doctors and nutritionists tell him, you keep punishing your body as such and you'll die.

So the corporations do not reveal the calorie, sodium and saturated fat amount of a typical McDonald's menu, unlike other restaurants - they obscure those details. What is the reason? To be sure there is a fat population out there? Well, does one believe that a person on an Atkins diet will frequent McDonald's? And for those who love their junk food, do you think they only go to McDonald's? What about Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, Wendy's and a host of others? And does one forget that there are Gourmet McDonald's stores out there that serve fresh Bucks County Coffee?

I enjoyed "Super Size Me" overall but I felt it was wanting. The suggestion is that eating three meals a day of McDonald's is unhealthy - it may be but how many people do you know that do such a thing? Spurlock proves it is a disaster waiting to happen. Curiously, he grows addicted to the food to the point that he becomes immune to the initial indigestion - like any addiction.

It is certainly a step down from his vegetarian ways. What is the point Spurlock is trying to make with "Super Size Me"? I believe he is saying that people should eat responsibly, educate themselves and become health-conscious and learn the meaning of the following term: moderation. Spurlock
could've done likewise. 

Russell's Snowbanks of tragedy

THE SWEET HEREAFTER (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Original Review from 1997

 Canadian director Atom Egoyan is one of the few true visionaries in the film world today. He consistently deals in themes of forbidden desires, melancholy loss, murder, and mourning. "The Adjuster" and the excellent "Exotica" are rare examples of films that break through the facade of cheap sentimentality and aim to reveal our innermost secrets and desires. Egoyan's new film "The
Sweet Hereafter," an adaptation of a Russell Banks novel, is a hauntingly expressive work about a school bus accident that leaves a small town in despair.

The brilliant Ian Holm stars as Mitchell Stevens, a forlorn attorney journeying to a small town in the snowy hills of British Columbia to represent the parents of children killed in a school bus accident. He wants to represent their grief, and looks to recompense by filing a class-action suit against the
bus company. "There is no such thing as an accident," declares Mitchell. At first glance, he might seem like a cold-hearted lawyer in it for the money but we start to see a man - tortured by his own suppressed grief - coming to terms with the tragedy and its aftermath. Mitchell's grief is his loveless junkie daughter who frequently calls him for money on his cell phone.

Naturally, the townspeople's grief is of greater consequence. There's the hippie couple whose adopted son died in the accident; another parent (Bruce Greenwood) who followed the bus carrying his two children and is the only witness; the guilt-ridden bus driver (Gabrielle Rose), and, most memorably, a
teenager (Sarah Polley) who survived the accident and is confined to a wheelchair and has strong love ties to her father (droopy-eyed Tom McCamus). The Greenwood character tries to convince Mitchell and the devastated parents to drop the lawsuit, but the some of the parents need the money if they win the case.

All the characters in "The Sweet Hereafter" are flawed and despondent because of familial relations except for the surviving teenager. In many ways, she is the most mature character in the film because she sees past the facade of the lawsuit and doesn't want to be manipulated by anyone, not even her affectionate father. Mitchell sees himself as a grieving parent because he lost his own child. When
Mitchell is on the plane, he sees a former friend of his daughter's and he confides in her about his daughter's past accidents with clinics and hospitals. Mitchell is naturally empathetic when interviewing the grieving, guilty parents about certain details of the accident - he's a guilty parent, too, trying to
erase the memory of his own daughter.

"The Sweet Hereafter" is an understated, chilling film of great searing power, and the actors certainly lend it credence. Ian Holm, one of the finest actors in the world, manages to make Mitchell Stevens a sympathetic character who's eagerly trying to erase his suppressed feelings towards his daughter - the
lawsuit makes him start to care deeply about her. It is superb, finely tuned acting that should have gained him an Oscar nomination. Sarah Polley ("Exotica") is as mysterious and alluring a young actress as any other - she makes her teen character both ambiguous and benevolent (she reads "The Pied
Piper" to children) allowing us to see a gradual connection between the relationship with her father and the school bus tragedy. These are characters whom you will not likely forget.

Director Atom Egoyan and cinematographer Paul Sarossy successfully make the wintry Canadian landscape as threatening and haunting as possible. The depiction of the townspeople's dwellings is just as disturbing - we see drab candlelit houses; gloomy motel rooms, and pictures of children and families on walls that take own a life of their own. The actual school bus accident is ominously presented in one long take as it skids off the road and falls into a frozen lake - this whole sequence, shown towards the middle of the film, is as tragic and emotional as anything in "Titanic."

The writing by Egoyan cleverly and astutely takes us back and forth during the aftermath of the accident pinpointing minute details about the uneventful day, and revealing the identities of the townspeople and their fears, desires and secrets.

Perhaps "The Sweet Hereafter" is not as enveloping or as rhythmic as "Exotica," but it is a superbly realized, unsentimental, poetic and important film of how a tragedy can change a small town. By the end of the film, with its sense of emotional chaos, you might think, strangely enough, that the
townspeople are responsible for this tragedy.