As perfect as escapist movies get

 THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The movies have always been a gateway to escape to another world, an escape from real-life problems. The rich irony to Woody Allen's "The Purple Rose of Cairo" is that the escape from real-life is a gateway to real-life, to the acceptance that real life is nothing like the movies. That is the special and wonderful charm of one of Woody Allen's greatest films. 

The Great Depression has made everyone poor ("The whole country's out of work") yet Cecilia (Mia Farrow), a newly hired waitress at the local diner, is always dreaming of the movies and sees one every week at the local theater. Her boisterous brute of an unemployed, flirtatious husband, Monk (Danny Aiello), plays craps and seemingly refuses to work ("I went to the ice factory and there's nothing there"). Cecilia has to make ends meet and get good tips but before long, she becomes unemployed. So she goes to the movies to escape from her depressing world to see the latest Hollywood programmer, "The Purple Rose of Cairo." This is a movie about the super wealthy (in the 1930's, people needed that kind of escape from the world - who the heck knew anybody who was wealthy?) and a naive explorer/archaeologist wearing a pith helmet at every function, including glamorous parties. He's Tom Baxter of the Chicago Baxters (Jeff Daniels) and the flickering movie persona notices that Cecilia is seeing this movie every day. Yep, think of this as a glorious update of "Sherlock Jr." except this Tom Baxter is no Buster Keaton - he is a man in love with Cecilia. This causes a ruckus as he steps off the screen and the movie-within-the-movie stops short of continuing its story. Cecilia teaches Tom everything about real life such as movie money is not real money, that you can't live on love, there are no fade outs during a kiss and that cars just can't start without an ignition key! There is also a bordello scene that is possibly one of the sweetest bordello scenes ever seen, if that seems possible.

"Purple Rose of Cairo" could have floated beautifully with this impossible romance on its own yet Allen complicates things. Gil Shepherd (also played by Jeff Daniels) is the Hollywood actor who comes this small NJ town to convince "his creation" to get back on the screen. Easier said than done. To make things even more complicated, Gil falls in love with Cecilia and buys her a ukulele. Is this love with Gil for real, or is the blooming romance between the fictional Tom and Cecilia more real?

"The Purple Rose of Cairo" is a cinematic jewel, a truly remarkable comedy sprinkled with enough real drama dust to pass as one of Woody's most perfect films. Pure joy is evident in every frame. Every performance, every Depression-era period detail, every piece of music so suffuses every scene that it flows like a dream one that doesn't want to end. That's the movies, folks, but maybe not real life! Cecilia learns that painful lesson.

Make me Believe in the Warrens again

 THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (2021)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The Warrens are such a lovely couple, so devoted to each other and their grounded love that you wish they would be at the service of a better horror movie than "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It." This latest Conjuring sequel is microwaved leftovers, leaving us with such a bland, overcooked taste that I just felt disappointed and underwhelmed. There is nothing here you haven't been served before.

This latest "Conjuring" movie begins with an exorcism of a bespectacled tyke whose body contorts and bends with such bone-cracking violence that I expected the kid to die. Alas, the kid is okay as the demon is transferred to an older twentysomething named Arne Johnson who insists on this transference by uttering words we had heard in another movie from 1973: "Take Me!" The question is whether Arne is really possessed or is the demon up to something else? Well, apparently this demon has murder on its mind as it gets Arne to kill his landlord with a pocket knife. Here is my question: if a demon can possess you (an amazing supernatural ability when you get right down to it), is the only thing on its mind is to have its host stab a landlord 22 times who is letting Arne and his girlfriend stay rent-free?

Naturally, our favorite demonologists, Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga), are on board to prove that Arne is not a killer because, you know, the Devil made him do it (this was the first actual court case where demonic possession was entered as evidence). Plus, they know Arne from the possession of that young kid at the beginning of the movie. All this involves Lorraine to do the heavy work of veering into the visions of another dead victim that involves some occultist's totem (one which is discovered in the basement of the house from the opening sequence). Poor Ed has heart issues thanks to the near-deadly touch of the Devil so, for the majority of the movie, he has to walk with a cane. 

None of this is goosebumping fun at all. Sure, this is based on a true story yet the details of this infamous 1981 case and the possession feel cribbed from many other movies, regardless of their (dubious) authenticity. This third "Conjuring" gets wrapped up in snore-inducing climaxes inside a house with a basement that leads to a lower level that looks like a lair out of any thousand movies about the occult (complete with an altar). The Warrens were more dynamic in previous "Conjuring" movies and only show their affection in a lovely ending. Unfortunately, they are mostly going through the paces of demonic visions that look tired, unfocused and plainly mediocre. Make me believe in the Warrens again.

Green Acres with Chevy Chase

FUNNY FARM (1988)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Funny Farm" might be the most laid-back, genteel Chevy Chase comedy ever. It is so lightweight and so innocuous that you'll wonder if you are watching a different movie than what constitutes Chase's norm. Not the case since this is Chevy Chase as a solid leading man with a role that was tailor-made for him. He is so good that he disappears into the role of a former sportswriter that decides to pack the bags and move into the country with his wife. Ducks on the pond, fresh air with no pollutants - think of this as a big-screen version of "Green Acres." No pig, but there is a stuffed squirrel and a dog who just lays on the living room with his tail getting a tad too close to the fireplace. 

Now, "Funny Farm" is not as typical as you might think in terms of city slickers adapting to country life of mosquitos and insects. This upbeat, very loving and affectionate couple are adapting to their dream home in the middle of the desolate woods and covered bridges where Andy (Chase) is about to write the great American novel (which is nothing more than a heist story). Andy's wife, Elizabeth (Madolyn Smith - boy, how I miss seeing in her movies), a teacher, is happy enough to go along with Andy's dream - at heart, she might still be a city girl. Still, nothing better than planting seeds on the ground only to discover...a coffin!  Digging up the coffin requires Andy and his wife to cough up the money for funeral expenses! Say what? Meanwhile, Andy mostly falls asleep while writing but manages to come up with a manuscript that Elizabeth is less than thrilled with. There's the matter of the mailman with a devilish laugh who careens through their town road throwing their mail near their mailbox. The sheriff can't drive since he has no license so he takes a taxi! Elizabeth finds the stuffed squirrel at an antique shop that inspires her to write children's stories, much to the chagrin of Andy. 

Much of "Funny Farm" aims to be pleasant, tranquil and funny in terms of how country folk respond to this couple. Yet Chase finds humor in just trying to belong to his new neighbors and has difficulty adjusting. A new phone installed in their home is mistaken for a pay phone! In the funniest scene in the entire movie, Chase's Andy does everything he can to convince the operator that he is inserting coins into this phone, and gets to mimic some voices that will sound familiar to those who love the original "Fletch." When opening the door to their new home, they discover it is a dutch door after Andy drops Elizabeth while carrying her- old-hat gag perhaps but it still made me smile. Then there is the delicacy at a local restaurant where Andy is dared to finish consuming "lamb fries" and break the record. To say much more would be to ruin its own delectable surprises. 

"Funny Farm" is not side-splittingly funny but it is engaging and has plenty of funny gags and keenly observant humor. It also has a believable married couple in Chase and Smith - if only they had paired again.

Don't lose your head watching this

WOLFEN (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Blood-curling, animalistic, expressive music chords run throughout "Wolfen." There are very few moments where music is not in the picture as it brings a sense of foreboding in the South Bronx, a drug-ridden, collapsed area of New York. Never did I imagine that it would lead to a pack of superwolves protecting their habitat - I am guessing the music is meant to underscore that. 

Albert Finney is a retired NYC detective living in Staten Island, formerly Captain Dewey Wilson who is given an assignment. Apparently, a wealthy real-estate mogul, his wife who loves to snort cocaine (ah, the early 1980's) and a limo driver in Battery Park are savagely killed by something, perhaps animal. Nobody is too sure but their throats are ripped open so, yes, definitely canine, definitely wolf. A superwolf? A shape-shifting werewolf? Could it be Edward James Olmos as a Native American who works at the top of the George Washington Bridge - at night, he takes off his clothes and howls to the moon on the beach. Hmmm, could be the shape-shifting werewolf? 

Judging by the thermal, almost infrared look of the wolves' POV, I would say Olmos can't run and run up and down through broken-down, partially bombed-out edifices. Captain Wilson partners up with a criminal psychologist (Diane Venora) to  try to find the culprit responsible (it is not a terrorist group as the NYPD seems to think). The investigation, right down to details such as how a severed head can still talk after one minute despite lack of oxygen, is intriguing and keeps us guessing as to where this is headed. We get an explanation from Eddie and his Native American friends towards the end of the film that is somehow too late in the game. I would have liked that explanation a little sooner, and a little less of Venora wondering what is causing the noise outside her bedroom window when it turns out to be, wait for it, her orange cat.

"Wolfen" is a fascinating, often enjoyable mystery thriller with maybe one too many wolfen POV shots. I can see what director Michael Wadleigh ("Woodstock") was aiming for but some chase scenes and shootouts become repetitive and are not as well choreographed as I would have hoped. You won't lose your head over this movie but you may be gasping for oxygen. 

Can't twist my neck to believe this

 THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

A new Exorcist movie comes equipped with problems from the start. For one, can any sequel ever come close to the original or even the underrated "Exorcist III"? Would the original film's late author William Peter Blatty have shrieked in disbelief over refrying the original and adding two possessed girls instead of one? Have we seen one possession too many? Yes, to all. 

There is a mildly promising start, and it is slightly overkill in execution. We are in Port-au-Prince, Haiti as a pregnant woman practically dies during a horrific earthquake. Her husband, Victor (Leslie Odom, Jr.), a photographer, has the unfortunate task at the hospital of choosing to either to save his wife or his unborn daughter. The daughter is chosen. Flash to a Georgia town thirteen years later and his surviving daughter, Angela (Lidya Jewett, a striking presence), wants to stay over at her friend's house and study. Hmmm, maybe not since the two girls, the other being a religious Katherine (Olivia O'Neil), venture out into the woods and come back three days later with burns on their feet. They attempted a seance in the woods to channel Angela's mother so I guess the moral is, don't perform a seance in the woods or the Devil will come and get you!

Aside from an amazingly scary moment that had me jump out of my chair, nothing else in "The Exorcist: Believer" will get to you in any primal way. Girls possessed by demons, with Katherine channeling a Linda Blair-likeness with a cross cut into her forehead, is only chilling for about five seconds. They speak in Mercedes McCambridge's deep vocal bass but considering how many devil possession movies we have had (we recently had "The Pope's Exorcist" for one), it is more than a cliche at this point- it has simply become a bad vaudeville routine. Leslie Odom, Jr. would clearly like to be back in his "Hamilton" musical role because he is so stone-cold in expressing emotion that I thought he was becoming possessed. Katherine's parents are so anonymous in feeling and outrage over what's happened that you forget they are parents at all. Nothing in the movie registers with any singularly true or honest emotion - it is preconceived swill that is easy to digest and just as easy to forget. Repeating visual motifs from the original classic such as a close-up of the turning on of a lamp (you'll know it when you see it), dogs violently attacking each other or subliminal demon images do nothing in its favor.    

Ellen Burstyn shows up in a 10-minute cameo as a silver-haired Chris MacNeil that shows authority and steely determination, everything the rest of this snoozer lacks. Other than enduring a shockingly vile and violent act done to poor Chris MacNeil, nothing else in this overlong movie will keep you awake. The power of Christ will compel you to sleep through it.

God is in our hearts

 STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER (1989)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Anticlimax is one way to define the alleged climax of "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier." A face-to-face encounter with God or some grand, titanic otherworldly presence should be glorious and spiritual and out-of-this-world. The Trek crew always travelled where no man has gone before but it seems rock pillars and some giant, flashy hologram is all we get. This would have been acceptable in the TV series but in a theatrical film, it should be an awesome sight to bewilder us.

"Star Trek V" is still somewhat fun for the first hour or so. The camaraderie between Captain Kirk, Dr. Bones and Spock alone should've merited something far more of a kick-in-the-pants cosmic adventure. The sheer dynamic charisma of these three actors is a joy to witness - there is also a ring of welcome to see the usual gang aboard the Enterprise. No less interesting and dynamic is the presence of  Laurence Luckinbill as the renegade Sybok, the half-human and half-Vulcan who is wishing to cross the Great Barrier where no starship dared to go and meet God. Sybok may sound insane but Spock seems to recognize him, a plot point I will leave for you to discover. This Sybok, who has his emotions and a contagious laugh, can also channel a person's deepest recesses of painful memories and either erase them or make them feel better about themselves - I was a little lost in understanding his supernatural abilities. It does leave for one of the film's finest scenes where Sybok attempts to channel Bones, Spock and the reluctant Kirk. 

Despite a rather tepid introduction of three different potential characters such as Caithlin Dar from the Romulan Empire (Cynthia Gouw), a wasted David Warner as St. John Talbot, a Federation official, and a burping Klingon, the movie never quite takes off the ground until we get to the actual mission to reach the Great Barrier and a desert planet. We have two desert planets in the movie, two Tattoines (sorry, had to say it), and that includes the opening section with Nimbus III where Sybok has taken the Federation officer, a Romulan, and a drunk Klingon hostage. Apparently, this is a trick to lure the Enterprise. None of this should have made it to the script level at all. Skip all that, start with our Enterprise crew and maybe Sybok could take command of the Klingon ship, the Bird of Prey with a cloaking device seen in the last two sequels. Just a thought.

Thanks to William Shatner's decent directing debut in the Trek universe,"Star Trek V" has some vivid scenes that recall the philosophical angle of "Star Trek III" and some pretty good comical action scenes (Kirk, at first, stays on the planet to try to fight God?) I love Scotty's complaints about the ship's malfunctions  ("I know this ship like the back of my hand") and it is great, albeit short-lived, fun to see Sulu and Chekov again not to mention Lt. Uhura performing a backlit dance that is at odds with the Trek universe. There is also a fascinating glimpse into Spock and Sybok's previous encounters. But the movie has a couple of missed opportunities with the God-like (?) apparition or something, and it just felt underwhelming. I really wanted the crew to go where no man has gone before. At times, it felt like we had already been there. 

Highway to Hell

 MAD MAX (1979)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The world of 1979's huge international box-office hit, "Mad Max," is not the same world inhabited by Max or anyone else in the sequels. It is desolate to be sure but there are a trifle few businesses running (eateries, gas stations) and it is seemingly somewhere in the middle of the Australian Outback. No nuclear war has occurred (not until "Beyond Thunderdome") but there are criminal elements ruling the road, namely biker gangs with names like Toecutter and Night Rider. The leather-suited cops (Main Force Patrol) are doing their part to protect the roads from these nutty biker gang members - they get their jollies from driving enormously fast speeds on the road trying to outrun the police. That is until they clash with Max (Mel Gibson), a highway cop who is as nutty as they are when it comes to fierce, unrelenting speeds. 

Gibson's Max in this film is a fairly restrained piece of acting, nowhere near the madman we see in later entries. To be fair, I don't think Max adopted a "I am mad as hell and can't take it anymore" attitude in the sequels, more so in the "Lethal Weapon" movies. Max is depicted here as a family man with a wife and a child, living near a sandy beach (the other cops don't seem to have any family). He has a different attitude on the highways to seemingly nowhere, ready to take on anyone that causes havoc. At home, it is sweet and cuddly with his very tender-hearted wife (Joanne Samuel, playing the most pleasant person in the entire movie) who can't always tolerate Max putting his life on the line.  

Ultimately, "Mad Max" becomes a solid revenge movie with the most thrilling chase scenes ever seen until "The Road Warrior." The cars and motorcycles barrel into any and anything in the distant road in scenes that look like they were filmed at an actual demolition derby. Max suffers some wounds, like a gunshot to his knee, and is ready to kill all these marauding bikers without a hint of remorse (Toecutter's demise happens when he collides with a semi-trailer truck - lesson is keep your eyes on the road). "Mad Max" is memorably sloppy and grungy in the best sense of the word (independent films always have a little less finesse), and never has a dull moment. I would dub it as one of the best exploitation movies ever made with vehicle stunts that will make your eyes pop out like Toecutter's.