Drax almost bought the Eiffel Tower

 MOONRAKER (1979)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Moonraker" is so absurd, so absolutely ridiculous, that it functions as one of those adventure movies with a wink that throws in everything including the kitchen sink (in this case, the kitchen sink is a space station with a cloaking device). It is entertaining and keeps a swift enough pace but it is not one of the great James Bond movies. I'd almost call it a parody except that Roger Moore thinks he may be in a serious Bond adventure. We know better.

"Moonraker" opens with a Moonraker space shuttle that is being carried by a plane. The shuttle takes off, killing the plane pilots. Why did this happen? An international incident? And where is James Bond? Oh, he is having his way with a flight stewardess who, too late, points a gun at him and then we get James pushed out of the plane by returnee Richard Kiel as henchman Jaws with deadly razor sharp metal teeth! It is one hell of an opening sequence, certainly as thrilling as the ski chase in the previous Moore adventure, "The Spy Who Loved Me." Once we are back on earth, Bond is up to his usual superspy routines as he investigates the Moonraker incident which leads him to the soft-spoken Drax (Michael Lonsdale), a very wealthy industrialist whose Nazi-like ambitions (repopulating the Earth after nearly vaporizing it) just made me laugh. Naturally, most Bond villains have absurd notions and absurd plans yet they are so megalomaniacal and have so much cash at their disposal, they can accomplish nearly anything. 

Speaking of absurdity at near-comical levels, early on our dapper Bond joins a pheasant shoot outside of Drax's nearly vast forest area at his headquarters and is almost killed by an assassin. Bond points his rifle, misses the pheasant yet kills the assassin. Bond walks off. Say what? I accept almost anything in a movie with a vapid brain yet why doesn't anyone grab hold off Bond? Kill one assassin on top of a tree, why does Drax not have more assassins at his disposal?

"Moonraker" leads us into very comical action scenes, one involving a gondola in Venice that is the reverse of the car/submarine vehicle in "Spy Who Loved Me" and there is even a pigeon that does a double-take! It is practically Monty Python territory, not to mention Jaws crashing a cable car and being helped by a young blonde woman with pigtails who loves our favorite henchman's sparkling metal teeth. Not so comical is Bond trapped in a centrifuge chamber, a scene that can make your heart stop and where we feel real urgency. I shan't neglect to mention Lois Chiles as a beautiful doctor who is actually a CIA agent! 

Before you know it, the movie throws itself right back into the comical including slow-motion scenes inside Drax's elaborate space station to evoke zero gravity. The big howler is the kitchen sink itself, the unleashing of Marines in space suits floating in space and firing laser blasts at Drax's guards. Yes, we have reached "Star Wars" laser battles, and that is a bridge too far for James Bond.  Of course, we learn Drax tried to buy the Eiffel Tower. As I said, Grade A for Absurdity in the world of James Bond.   

Moore amps up the dry wit

 THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (1977)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Impromptu fistfights aboard submarines or rooftops. Car chases through narrow two-lane roads. Beautiful exotic women, amazing locales. Yep, you are in another extravagant James Bond adventure starring Roger Moore in his third outing as superspy James Bond fighting a megalomaniac in some sort of underwater barge that is shaped like some emerging black octopus lair without tentacles.

The capitalist megalomaniac with webbed hands is Stromberg (a slightly underused Curd Jurgens) who lives inside this unnatural wonder of the seas. His dastardly plan? World domination? Something along those lines. Firing nuclear warheads and creating an underwater civilization is Stromberg's absurd idea (this could be a Lex Luthor plan). The bigger question in some of Moore's Bond efforts is why do men with more money than sense think that creating civilizations by blowing up countries is around the corner? If the guy had no money, would he have such a ridiculous plan? Leaving aside such thoughtful questions, Bond (Roger Moore) is ready to stop Stromberg and make peace and love with a Russian KGB agent named XXX (luscious Barbara Bach), who has a certain vendetta against a British Secret Service agent who killed her lover in the Alps. A slight narrative twist to the usual. 

"The Spy Who Loved Me" has fantastic action scenes that merit countless viewings, especially the memorable ski chase that opens the film where Bond jumps off a mountain with a Union Jack parachute. There are also nifty car chases involving high-powered motorbikes and Bond's vehicle, a Lotus Esprit, that can change into a submarine! Some of the action in the Octopus finale is a little routine (none of it is as well-staged as similar scenes from "You Only Live Twice," both films directed by Lewis Gilbert) but we do get a few good fight scenes especially with the iconic large henchman Jaws (Richard Kiel) who comes equipped with razor sharp metal teeth. Speaking of Jaws, Bond fights him at least three times including a hair-raising train fight. 

So for good old-fashioned action scenes and fistfights, buxom babes, and quick-witted one-liners courtesy of Moore's Bond, "Spy Who Loved Me" has it in spades. As for villains, other than Jaws and another thug with a wrestler's body (Milton Reid, a former wrestler), Jurgens is up to the task as Stromberg but there is barely enough of him. The revenge subplot doesn't quite deliver any payoff. Still, "Spy Who Loved Me" delivers Bond with enough flair and wit and general excitement to rate as solid escapist entertainment. 

Clunky, improbable, thrilling

 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE -

 THE FINAL RECKONING (2025)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

On one hand, reviewing a "Mission Impossible" flick boils down to whether its share of wild stunts performed by a no-holds-barred movie star are truly astounding. They are the cat's pajamas. Is the plot still somewhat inconsequential? No more than the average James Bond flicks, pre-Daniel Craig. Is the 62-year-old Tom Cruise still convincing as an athletic Ethan Hunt? Yes, indeed. 

"The Final Reckoning" continues the story of its predecessor, "Dead Reckoning," and I admit that "Dead Reckoning" had a cumbersome, dull opening despite featuring an essential plot element - the sinking of the Sevastopol submarine, which sets the story in motion about the deadly AI system known as the Entity. I found the Entity wanting at best, not the most thrilling aspect of these two back-to-back movies and yet, here, its spiral design with a blue eye in the middle can make one feel a bit discombobulated in an IMAX movie screen (it is somewhat hypnotic). Somehow, its design and its voice don't thrill me much but it is clearly a deadly antagonist that went rogue and can corrupt cyber-security and launch nuclear codes. Sentient, much? In "The Final Reckoning," Ethan Hunt must acquire the Source Code in the Bering Sea where the Sevastopol is located, wearing a decompression diving suit in one of the movie's most literally breathless sequences. A little description of this sequence: Ethan enters the dormant sub, turns it back on and swims through one cylindrical door after another until he acquires the Source Code. Getting out proves almost impossible until he does and, even then, you are not sure if he will survive.

If you see this seventh sequel in the franchise without seeing "Dead Reckoning," you'll still be thrilled but you will not have an inkling of what the heck is going on. "Final Reckoning" does a decent job of regurgitating the original film's plot which leaves this movie with not much development, plot-wise (Ethan has to hold on to the cruciform keys, there is a "poison pill" to undo the Entity, etc), though bringing back the sparkling elegance of Angela Bassett as Madame President is a class act in my book. Her demeanor when she realizes she may have to launch a nuclear attack, potentially killing millions of innocent lives to save billions, is powerful and very moving stuff (the President has to make hasty decisions with everyone in the same room from the General to the Chiefs of Staff to character actor Holt McCallany as an argumentative Secretary of Defense, all perspiring overtime). Henceforth, let us not leave out the appreciated return of ex-CIA analyst Donloe (Rolf Saxon), from the original "Mission Impossible" film, as he is depicted living out his days married to a quick-witted Inuit in St. Matthew's Island and knows the coordinates to the Sevastopol from memory! There is also the dynamic presence of the assassin with a semi-heart of gold, Paris (Pom Klementieff), who in one heart-stopping scene has to perform surgery on the injured Benji (Simon Pegg) and she delivers a great line, "I kill people." 

Tom Cruise slides in and out of this movie with his own grace and panache, not looking like he's in his 60's at all, and showing all the urgency in the world (he runs a lot more than usual which makes my 54-year-old ass want to learn to run just as quickly). It is also a welcome sight to see Hayley Atwell back as the master thief Grace and you just wish she got to kiss Ethan, just once. Despite some clunky moments and the far too brief return of Esai Morales as villainous Gabriel and a slightly overlong runtime, this "Mission Impossible" flick has everything you might expect and it is quite incendiary at its core. The plane stunt is almost as good as the fiery helicopter finale in "Fallout." This Mission looks like it is the final hurrah but with Ethan's new brand of colorful allies, I highly doubt it. 

AI gone rogue

 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - 

DEAD RECKONING PART ONE (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

If nothing else, "Mission Impossible" movies are fun, energetic and contain last-minute escapist moments that sometimes outdo the early Roger Moore James Bond films before reality and grit settled in Daniel Craig's tough Bond flicks. Any reminder of the old TV series is practically erased from these movies since glorious, dangerous stunts performed by an egomaniacal actor were not exactly depicted in the show of yesteryear. Still, I have to give credit where it's due and this newest "Mission Impossible" flick with a mediocre title is oodles of popcorn fun with a mildly sluggish middle and a "Red October"-like opening that didn't exactly set off the fireworks for me.  

Yes, in the rather dull opening of this movie, there is an undetectable Russian sub known as the Sevastopol and, on their radar, an incoming torpedo is ready to destroy it. It turns out the torpedo was a ruse and the integrity of their AI technological systems has gone rogue and destroys itself. Maybe this is meant to be metaphorical of Ethan Hunt's own former rogue status as a IMF spy, or perhaps not - this is about as ironic as the movie gets. This AI is known as the Entity and to control it, a cruciform key is needed to determine the Source Code. The issue is that the two golden keys that interlock are in the hands of some villains, though I had a hard time keeping up with who was who. The movie is one long chase picture where Ethan tries to get his hands on the keys. First, Ethan travels to the Arabian Desert to retrieve one key which is in the hands of disavowed MI6 agent Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson), whom you might remember from "Fallout" as one hell of a combat fighter. Then there is an elongated foot chase inside and outside an airport where Ethan's computer whiz buddy (Ving Rhames) can electronically graft Ethan's face onto other unsuspecting people in surveillance camera footage. Simon Pegg, always so nervously funny, is Dunn, the field agent who tells Ethan to chase a train with a parachute! There is also the welcome return of the seemingly sinister Kittredge (Henry Czerny), formerly of the IMF who is now head of the CIA and may or may not be duplicitous. I suppose we will find out in the next chapter since "Dead Reckoning" I and II were filmed back to back. 

The characters in this installment do not register as vividly as before, if only because the movie has long dialogue scenes where we, the audience, try to differentiate between one villainous character (Esai Morales) over another a potential one, the White Widow (a very striking Vanessa Kirby who has appeared in this series before). There is a lot of talk about these keys and who is loyal to whom and I just became irritated by this bare bones plot. I was more floored by the amazing motorbike and car chases through the narrow streets of Rome (with a fleeting glimpse of the Roman Colosseum). The explosive train finale is also one for the books. I still wanted to learn a little bit more about the White Widow and the similarly striking Grace (Hayley Atwell), a master pickpocket who has no idea what she's in for when she steals those damn keys. And those complications about getting to the chase and retrieving items was, well, more complicated before which made it more involving.

I am not one to argue because I enjoy these movies which are never bombastic or too preposterous (at least not yet). And if Tom Cruise wants to keep performing stunts and face danger in its face in the name of such insanely contrived missions, who am I to stop him? 

Nostalgic for the imagination

 RADIO DAYS (1987)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It is impossible to dislike "Radio Days" as it is one of the few Woody Allen films that I can't imagine being divisive. It is one of his greatest achievements, a satirical, personal look at a bygone era from the 1930's through 1944 where radio was the communicative standard by which everything from news events to songs to stories were heard on the air. 

"Radio Days" has various vignettes told from the perspective of its most humble narrator, Woody Allen himself, as he recounts the days in Rockaway Beach living with his Jewish family in a house that felt like cramped quarters. Michael Tucker is the patriarch who will not disclose to his son, Joe (Seth Green, standing in for an adolescent Woody), where he works; Julie Kavner is the wife who loves her husband but still has romantic fantasies of being with rich, dashing men; Dianne Wiest is Aunt Bea who has trouble holding on to her dates and is far too picky; Josh Mostel as the gregarious Uncle Abe who brings home copious amounts of fish every day, and his wife, Aunt Ceil (Renee Lippin), who has a particular fondness for a radio program with a ventriloquist. Joe spends all his time listening to the radio including the adventures of the Masked Avenger thus schoolwork is of second nature to him. 

"Radio Days" exists as a time capsule of a more innocent era (nostalgically speaking) when radio permeated everyone's homes and World War II and an uncertain future were in the mix. Woody Allen has created a series of memorable episodes that are so artfully crafted that they border on the level of genius. This is largely because the childhood memories are so alive and brimming with pleasures of incidents we can all relate to (it reminds me a lot of the nostalgic rosy glow of "A Christmas Story"). There is a bit involving a carrot placed on a snowman's nether regions which is discovered by a teacher...who then eats the carrot. Joe asking for donations for the "Jewish Homeland Fund," which are really for the sought after Masked Avenger ring. Then there are the kids who look through binoculars on a tenement rooftop hoping to see enemy bomber planes and instead catch a woman undressing in her room (who later turns up as a substitute teacher in their class). A show-and-tell moment that looks like it is right out of similar scenes from "Annie Hall" with a school kid showing a used condom to the class! 

The movie also shifts to colorful episodes of the glamorous New York City elite of celebrities who supply the voices heard on radio programs. Most fittingly is squeaky-voiced Sally White (Mia Farrow) who takes diction lessons and becomes what she dreamed of - a true radio star! This is long after she witnesses a mob killing by a gangster (Danny Aiello) who happens to be from the same neighborhood she grew up in. Seeing Wallace Shawn as another radio star uttering the Masked Avenger's dialogue is priceless.

"Radio Days" doesn't skip the revolutionary and dramatic radio segments, especially one involving a helpless child stuck in a well - a news story that binds Joe's family together in ways which reminds us of how tragedy supersedes everything.  

From its selection of over 40 songs (my favorite might be the Carmen Miranda tune "South American Way"), its wry narration by Allen and the quixotic performances, "Radio Days" paints a heavenly glow on an era that time forgot. It is the era before television took charge at every household, a visual replacement of a medium where imagination was what they all held onto. Radio was so powerful that it could force a man to leave a woman stranded in a car while listening to the frightening War of the Worlds broadcast. Thanks Mr. Welles. 

It's in his nature

 THE CRYING GAME (1992)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The critics said at the time of "The Crying Game's" release that no one should reveal the secret of the film. In today's ever-changing critical lens, the secret of the film wouldn't have seemed so shocking. 30-plus years have passed since Neil Jordan's best film made a splash, and the shock isn't new nor particularly out of its element. The shock is that the film's twist proves to be more revealing about the main character and his own prejudices about a world he knows nothing about. That is the strength of "The Crying Game" and what makes it a cut above any romantic thriller - its complex pulse rings true on the notions of what love really entails between two people. 

I say romantic thriller and that might still be a disservice to the joys of an ever-twisting, surprising film built on emotions and people, first and foremost. You wouldn't know it from the opening of the film (though hearing Percy Sledge's famous song "When a Man Loves a Woman" might be a clue) when we see an adult man frolicking about with a sexy woman at an amusement park. Nothing odd about any of this - it could simply be a romantic relationship when, in fact, the adult man just met the woman. He is a British soldier named Jody (Forest Whitaker) and he just wants sex with the woman, Jude (Miranda Richardson), who is in fact an IRA member. Jody is hooded and kidnapped and held hostage until the IRA's demands of an imprisoned member of their army is released. Stephen Rea is Fergus, who holds Jody at gunpoint. Eventually the two start forming some sort of banter and identifying with each other, the very thing Fergus shouldn't do since he may have to execute Jody if the IRA's demands are not met. 

"The Crying Game" could have been an effective thriller about the differentiating politics in Ireland and Britain, particularly during a troubling time with the IRA. The movie hints at politics and racism and then Jody manages to escape and is killed in a horrific run-in with a tank. The IRA's hiding place had been uncovered as well, and most of them are killed by the British Army. Fergus escapes in the woods and finds solace in London working in construction. He also seeks out Jody's girlfriend, Dil (Jaye Davidson), who is a hairdresser and occasionally sings a cover version of Boy George's "The Crying Game" at the Metro bar. Fergus and Dil form a fast romance that leads to a shocker, though Fergus should've known that Dil was more than she appeared to be. It is no shock or surprise to reveal Dil's secret since it has been parodied countless times ("Naked Gun 33 1/3" for starters). But the beauty of Neil Jordan's beautifully constructed screenplay is how it humanizes everyone - these are people who have their own insecurities and problems like everyone else. This film is a companion piece to Jordan's quixotic "Mona Lisa," which also had it share of surprises and discoveries with an even harsher light in its depiction of the London criminal underground. 

Of all of Neil Jordan's films, "The Crying Game" has the smoothest textures of a poetic treatise on characters that normally do not lend to such ambitious avenues of exploration. Rea's Fergus is a volunteer IRA member who doesn't quite have the guts to kill someone, yet Rea shows that he can harm anyone if they cross him. Davidson is the soul of "The Crying Game," and she can get "tired and emotional" when it comes to loving someone. She wants to be loved - concrete, requited love. Fergus wants it too and, here with "The Crying Game," we get one of the most unusual love stories I have ever seen with politics and race as its backbone where love dominates all.     

Will make your spinal column shift

 SINNERS (2025)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Sinners" is seismic moviemaking, a tale of twin brothers in the Jim Crow-era Mississippi that is so forcefully alive that you just might quake in your boots. It will cut you deep into your soul and shake you - call it punk filmmaking that is blunt and never heavy-handed but definitely in-your-face in ways most movies in this decade have not been. After it was over, I wanted to scream "Hallelujah!"  

The twins are gangsters from Chicago and previous WWI vets, Smoke and Stack Moore (both played flawlessly by Michael B. Jordan), who settle back in their hometown of Clarksdale, Mississippi. They buy a sawmill from a landowner whom the brothers are convinced is a klansman, or knows some klan members. Using money stolen from the Chicago Outfit, they decide to use the sawmill as a juke joint with some blues musicians playing the night away. The musicians include Sammie "Preacher Boy" Moore (Michael Canton), Smoke and Stack's cousin and a hell of a guitarist - his sounds could summon the Devil himself and musicians from the past and future; the married Pearline (Jayme Lawson) a hellacious singer whom Sammie takes a liking to, and Delta Slim, a pianist (Delroy Lindo, always a welcome presence) who is content to just have small change to buy alcohol - he cannot believe the Moore brothers can pay him 40 bucks a night. The distraught Annie, Smoke's wife (Wunmi Mosaku), will do the cooking and is also a Hoodoo practitioner (which will come in handy towards the explosive ending). There is also an Asian couple, the local grocery shopkeepers named Grace and Bo (Li Jun Li and Yao), who supply the food (for historical context in terms of Jim Crow laws, the couple has two different grocery stores, one services white people and the other services blacks). Cornbread, a sharecropper (Omar Miller), will be the bouncer since everyone needs extra bread if they can get it. Speaking of sharecroppers, some of them attend the juke joint paying with wooden coins since real money was not given to them for working the fields. Smoke wants cash yet Stack reminds his brother they have cater to all black people if they want to keep the joint thriving, even those working on plantations. 

As a textbook example of Black Southern culture ("Eve's Bayou" is one of the few notable examples) with background blues music and religion not to mention Hoodoo practices, "Sinners" covers a lot of historical ground just on that basis. Added to it are the Moore brothers who can use violence when necessary to protect what is theirs - they want at least one night of freedom. "Sinners" would already be a wondrously alive movie with all these elements, and then it segues to vampiric ground with an Irish vampire named Remmick (Jack O'Connell), hunted by Choctaw vampire hunters, who can sing but not the blues. Remmick wants entrance to the juke joint, believing that vampirism can bring an end to racism, and has brought along a Klan couple whom he has already turned to the dark side. The scenes of Remmick and the couple performing Irish maladies after being denied access to the juke joint are as bone-chilling and mildly gut-wrenching as any horror film of late. There is some gore in "Sinners" but it is mercifully not wall-to-wall violence and it does not need to be. The foggy atmosphere and the moonlit scenes outside the juke joint, along with the towering spiritual music, are enough to make your spinal column shift a little. 

"Sinners" is a movie that vibrates with life, and the performances help make this unusual story with historical context all the more vivid. Whether it is Michael B. Jordan as the twins (their final scene is an emotional powerhouse), the scary Remmick who shows he can have a good time dancing merrily like an Irishman, Delroy Lindo as a man who has seen everything and sympathizes with chain gangs, Wunmi Mosaku's feeling of regret as Smoke's wife, Michael Canton's guilt-ridden Sammie at getting too close to evil or Hailee Steinfield's as the only white woman in the joint, "Sinners" is equal parts gratifying, soulful and it pierces your mind, body and soul from start to finish.