Science will defeat the Gods!

HERCULES (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When I was 12, I saw "Hercules" in theaters and was ecstatic about seeing it. I was a fan of Lou Ferrigno (having met him in Canada at a monster truck show where he was signing autographs), so seeing him as Hercules was a treat. That is until I sat in my theater seat and witnessed the film itself, a highly unintelligible, meandering and godawful treatment of one of the strongest Greek mythological heroes of all time. Having seen it again recently, I certainly was not bored by. It is still godawful but it has a breezy spirit to it. It is not "Clash of the Titans," which it rips off shamelessly, but it is has enough action and questionable moments  to warrant a viewing.

So Hercules was created by Zeus as some sort of ball of light that floats to Earth and becomes a baby. The baby...ugh, must I go on? Let us say that baby Hercules kills two giant serpents by crushing them with his hands as if the serpents were made of Doritos. Some magical sword is stolen. We get a fetching Sybil Danning as Ariana, daughter of the the evil wizard King Minos (William Berger); a sorceress whose curse is lifted from looking like a crone out of "Princess Bride"; and a certain Princess Cassiopeia (Ingrid Anderson) who reveals her complete face by lifting her veil for the Strongest Man after he managed to clean the stables with the help of a raging river! (this is actually based on one of Hercules' Herculean feats). And we get a chariot that is fastened to a rock by a sorceress, who also has a thing for Hercules. A giant bear is thrown into space! Zeus lives on the moon instead of Mount Olympus. And I must not forget the giant robot creatures that Hercules must kill. And maybe mythology scholars will stop reading after I stated that Hercules was one of the strongest Greek heroes of all time, or is it Roman? Hercules is the Roman name for the Greek demigod, Heracles. Okay, myth lesson over. I mean, we are talking about a movie where a giant bear is thrown into space where it becomes a constellation!!! Ursa Major?

Basically, the movie is structured as a series of endurance tests that Hercules must pass (at one point, he even turns into a giant to create two continents). It is pure addle-brained hokum with one of the longest voice-over narrated openings ever (4 minutes that feels like 15). Lou Ferrigno has got the build for Hercules and the personality, sans the voice that was dubbed. The emotional range that Ferrigno must show after the death of his parents and the death of many others is nil. He is better at showing his rage during his feats of strength. Some of the supporting cast is lively and some are wooden (the actor playing Zeus is hardly the stuff that gods are made of) Sybil Danning has too few scenes (and disappointingly shares only one scene with the Hulk, er, Hercules), and Ingrid Anderson looks too pretty especially when she is ready to be sacrificed. "Hercules" is a rotten film with the most rudimentary special-effects composed with such bad timing and poor, mismatched lighting schemes that you can't help but laugh. It is entertaining enough which qualifies it as a good bad movie, but this movie is hardly the stuff that legends or Steve Reeves are made of. 

Didn't the Dark Knight already rise?

Didn't the Dark Knight already Rise? 

By Jerry Saravia

Maybe I am in the minority but I can't imagine what can be done that is as intoxicating or as epic as "The Dark Knight." In the closing scenes of "The Dark Knight," Joker (Heath Ledger) makes mincemeat out of Batman (Christian Bale) verbally, not physically. And Gotham City had its doubts about that flying bat man as well. At the end of the picture, the nocturnal hero flees in his Batbike and we were left with one of the most intriguing finales of any superhero movie ever. It was intriguing enough that director Christopher Nolan and most fans had their doubts that a third film should even exist (and I sensed an implied doubt about a third film after the premature death of Heath Ledger). How can you beat the Joker for pure malice, nastiness and destruction?

Thomas Hardy as Bane

Of course, money talks in Hollywood and Chris Nolan is again directing the third and final chapter in his revisionist Batman trilogy. Bane is the villain (previously seen in "Batman and Robin"), wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask (it comes equipped with an analgesic gas to relieve pain) that proves to make his dialogue sound like gibberish (this will be cleared up apparently in the movie). Catwoman is also back, played by the eternally boring actress, Anne Hathaway (sorry film fans but I have not had the pleasure of seeing her Academy-Award nominated work in "Rachel Getting Married", though she was quite effective in Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland"). Christian Bale is naturally back, whose own Batman and Bruce Wayne characters were reduced to second fiddle next to the Joker in the last picture (Of course, that might be by design.) Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox and Michael Caine as the butler, Alfred, also return.

But can this third chapter really thrill people much and be a match for the first two? I sense that a big NO is in order. I've seen the trailer and it looks more like a demented sequel to "The Departed" than anything remotely like Batman. Bane and his gang look like terrorists (perhaps, again, by design) and there is some Occupy Gotham subplot that sounds silly. Hathaway's Catwoman looks just as witless as Halle Berry's version. Gone is the seductively sleazy trappings of Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman from twenty years ago.  By the way, Pfeiffer was supposed to have her own "Catwoman" flick and it happened, but with the far less physically dominating presence of Halle Berry cast instead.

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman

Anne Hathaway as Catwoman

I know, I know, I shouldn't judge a movie by the sheer ineptitude of a trailer ("Shutter Island's" icky horror movie trailer has no similarity to the actual movie). But I am not worked up or anticipating this sequel. It seems that Nolan should've ended it with the emasculation and impotence of Batman in "The Dark Knight." This is true of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day," which ended the Terminator saga beautifully with no open-endedness. "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines" was a schlocky yet diverting sequel, more like an unnecessary and repetitive footnote that negated part 2. I guess I don't want a Batman movie to be too political and too police procedural-like (heaven knows, there is enough of that on television alone). A Batman movie should be fun and energetic, just like "Batman Begins" or even Tim Burton's own 1989 flick. "The Dark Knight" was a downer and purposely so, with many invigorating scenes and first-class acting and lots of subtle political overtones. It was epic fun and blackly witty and it closed those two flicks with an ambiguous note. I will probably see "Dark Knight Rises" at some point and hope I am wrong, but DC Comics's strangest hero seems to be occupying Chris Matthew's "Hardball" more than DC Comics.

The Dark Joker

THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)
 Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 
(Originally written in 2008)

"Batman Begins" was the best Batman film ever made, with a clear emphasis on who Batman and was and the dual identity of its nocturnal hero and his wealthy playboy counterpart. "The Dark Knight" has different concerns and strengths and it is probably as good as "Batman Begins" if it were not for a little less emphasis on Batman/Bruce Wayne than I would have liked.

Christian Bale is once again the Batman and Bruce Wayne, this time sensing that his days as a crime-fighting hero are possibly numbered. In the truly effective opening sequence, we see a bank robbery with its robbers wearing ugly clown masks and betraying each other by killing each other (their escape, hosted by the Joker, is nifty). Batman finds that his old foe, Scarecrow, and others are trying to do Batman's work, to no avail. A gray-haired crime lord (Eric Roberts) seems to have the entire city of Gotham on his payroll, but he faces a new threat - a malevolent, ugly freak with a white plastered face and a bloody smile, the Joker (played by the late Heath Ledger). This Joker is not a Jack Nicholson or a Cesar Romero impersonation - he is a tongue-flipping sociopath who thrives on chaos and destruction. He is not really witty and he's unclean, unsafe and a sheer monster who freely kills a gangster by impaling his head with a pencil. This man is so freakish, so nasty, so inhuman that you'd swear it was someone else under the makeup and not the handsome, stoic Heath Ledger. Yet Ledger lends a shred of wit to it. I love the moment when he confronts the city's gangsters and says, "Here is my card," as he flings a Joker card at them.

What can Batman and ambitious D.A. Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) and the sensitive police commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) do to fight this anarchic personality? Not much. The corruption of Gotham City and the investigation on Batman's secret identity (also part of the Joker's ploy in exchange for ending his random killings) is given the kind of treatment you might expect in a Sidney Lumet picture or even "The Departed." You also get the feeling that Batman is not much use anymore, and that Bruce Wayne knows it since the public at large see him as a vigilante. Even Alfred sees that the world is changing with his prophetic words, "Some men just want to see the world burn."

My major quibble is that writer-director Christopher Nolan has given us the same conflicted Batman that we saw in "Begins" yet our batty hero is overpowered by the Joker (a similar fault lied with Tim Burton's original "Batman"). Heath Ledger gives us such a tremendously eerie and transformatively scary Joker that you can't help but feel that he has defeated Batman from the moment he first appears on screen. Batman, to an extent, is mostly on the sidelines as a crime- fighting hero who becomes more anti-heroic by the end of the film. Though that is Nolan's point since the character is a noirish creation where good and evil don't quite exist, it serves as a detriment, a slight detriment but a detriment nonetheless. Also Bruce Wayne's relationship to Rachel Dawes, the assistant D.A. (Maggie Gyllenhaal replacing Katie Holmes), is given such short-shrift that unless you've seen "Batman Begins," you'll have no idea why they even speak to each other.

The focus is on the righteous Harvey Dent, who becomes Two-Face, the kind of freak that Batman and the Joker have become. This shift on character is fascinating but he is eclipsed by the Joker. In fact, let me reiterate, everyone in this movie is eclipsed by the Joker. Every scene with Ledger imbues a darkness that is unmistakably noirish and heavier than perhaps the filmmakers even intended. I still wanted more scenes between Bruce Wayne and his dutiful servant, Alfred (the always magnetic Michael Caine), and the weapons and gadgets expert, Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman).

Holy Criticisms, do I have anything positive to say besides Heath Ledger's performance? Of course, if you have read the opening paragraph, I clearly state that "The Dark Knight" is as good as "Batman Begins" but not superior (though this is a superior superhero movie). In terms of the scale of action and the choreography and some death-defying stunts, "The Dark Knight" is exquisitely and electrifyingly made. It is a thrill ride with a moral compass that is strikingly complex on the level of an epic tragedy. I still like the growling Batman and that awesome Batbike that travels at supersonic speeds (the Batmobile is still a marvel to watch). There are good performances and superb writing (quite a bit of a dialogue for a movie of this type) and many memorable lines of dialogue, especially by the "Why So Serious" Joker. I just miss seeing a development of Batman/Bruce Wayne's character - he left a lasting impression at the end of the first movie and I still like to know more about the brooding Batman. In this movie, the Joker takes center stage and gives you nightmares. Essentially, this is "The Dark Joker." A great movie, just not the one I was expecting.

Hughes at his zaniest

WEIRD SCIENCE (1985)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 "Weird Science" is the zaniest film to come out of director John Hughes's oeuvre. It is the sole teen film of his containing sci-fi and fantasy elements that are ground up and delivered with tasteful and tasteless comedy situations. It is not as tasteless or (and I do say that with all due respect to Mr. Hughes) as mean-spirited as "Sixteen Candles" nor is it as revealing about high school teenage life as "The Breakfast Club" (his best picture). But there is a core of sensitivity and something genial about "Weird Science" despite having a premise that should be dirtier and tasteless than it is.

Anthony Michael Hall and Ian Mitchell-Smith play the two prototypical teen nerds, Gary and Wyatt, who have nothing better to do on a Friday night than watch a colorized version of 1931's "Frankenstein" (not a bad idea in actuality). While watching the film, Gary summons the spirit of Colin Clive's Dr. Frankenstein in his own mind and comes up with an idea: with Wyatt's supercomputer PC ("Did it come with a toaster, too?") they decide to create their ideal woman. They manage to do this by hacking into a government computer, applying electrodes to a Barbie doll and then, after a red sky appears with thunderbolts striking and causing much damage to the house, Kelly LeBrock appears. "So what do you boys want to do first?" Apparently, Gary and Wyatt want to shower with her while still wearing their pants.

The boys call her Lisa, and Lisa takes them out on the town to a Chicago bar where this triad is not the ideal clientele. Then we get a mall sequence where Robert Rusler and Robert Downey, Jr. play two different teens males who harass the boys yet ogle at the sight of Lisa. Naturally, the film ends with a house party that outdoes "Sixteen Candles" for gross negligence of furniture, closets, and any other fixtures including tossing a piano out of a chimney (or was it the other way around)! The mutants from "Road Warrior" and "The Hills Have Eyes" show up, and Wyatt's grandparents are kept in suspended animation! Oh, lets us not forget the girls, including Judie Aronson and Suzanne Snyder as the two teen girls whom Gary and Wyatt are romantically interested in. And I can't exclude a brief cameo by Jill Whitlow as a perfume salesgirl who puts down the two nerds with sublime restraint ("Are you two getting something for your MOM?")

"Weird Science" is fun, engaging, loose, and occasionally quite gross (Bill Paxton as a toad will have you puking, but not with laughter). Anthony Michael Hall, though, steals the show with his high-energy comic spirit and he made me laugh any time he gapes in close-up. Ian-Mitchell Smith plays the straight man to the chaos of Anthony Michael Hall's cartoonish character and the exaggeration of almost anything else that transpires around them. But I wonder why is it that Lisa is more interested in helping the teenagers than having sex with them, hence the premise of this movie (I know, the boys gave her a brain with the help of Einstein's photo). Hard to say if Gary or Wyatt ever actually participate in anything sexual - the reason they conjured her up in the first place - since Hughes leaves it to the imagination. The lesson seems to be that the boys need to learn to grow up and "mingle." It is almost as if a soft-core porn comedy was transpiring and somebody short-circuited it to change it into a riotous John Hughes teen comedy with great special-effects. I loved the movie in 1985 and I do now, but I am unclear of Hughes's intentions.

The Shock 'Em, Nuke 'Em, Animal-Lovin' Troma Girl (An Interview with Leesa Rowland)

The Shock 'Em, Nuke 'Em, Animal Lovin' Troma Girl (An Interview with Leesa Rowland)

By Jerry Saravia

 Leesa Rowland's uploads of her best work

Troma Pictures has been in production for so long that most film fans may not be aware of their output or their longevity. They are a strong NJ independent film company that financed and released films such as "Class of Nuke 'Em High 1-3," "The Toxic Avenger" pictures, "Pot Zombies," and many more. Leesa Rowland is an actress who played the pivotal role of Victoria in "Class of Nuke 'Em High Parts 2 and 3" but she actually got her start in a couple of non-Troma pictures. Although she may play the innocent, dim-witted blonde Victoria (a subhumanoid), she stands out in a cast that also includes Lisa Gaye with a Marge-Simpson hairdo. It is Rowland's and her male co-star's innocence, Brick Bronsky, that gives the early Troma pictures a certain upbeat quality.

Leesa Rowland grew up in Austin, Texas and is the daughter of an artist and a college professor. She studied broadcast journalism at Texas Tech and studied acting at the famed Stella Adler Studio in Los Angeles, CA. She currently produces and acts in a variety show called "Two City Girls" with her friend and fellow Troma costar, Lisa Gaye. With a career that almost spans thirty years, you'll be surprised to learn of Leesa's cinematic roots and where she is at today.

1.) It might be of interest to my readers that a Troma actress actually started out her career in a David Byrne film, the spectacular "True Stories" (1986) ['"60 Minutes" on Acid, according to Byrne']. You are listed in an uncredited role, so what was that role?

I was cast as one of three blondes sitting on bar stools at a nightclub, but they cut the scene out in post production!

2.) I couldn't help but notice a credit for "Book of Love" [A Bob Shaye-directed romantic comedy about a love reminiscence dating back to the 1950] - a film I saw in theaters back in good old 1990. You got to work with some actors of stature, especially Michael McKean. IMDB lists your role as "Honeymoon." You'll forgive me for not recalling your part specifically but what role was "Honeymoon" and how did that role come about? 

"Book of Love" was the first film that Bob Shaye (Founder of New Line) directed {and his sole directing credit to date]. I got the audition for Honeymoon through my agent and was cast after a couple of callbacks. Honeymoon was a traveling showgirl that Peanut (Aeryk Egan) meets at the carnival and has a crush on. He waits for her after the show to ask for her autograph [and he gets to be kissed by Leesa's character].

Leesa Rowland in Class of Nuke 'Em High 2 (1990)

3.) You are, of course, a member of the Troma universe. You were cast in "Sgt. Kabukiman: NYPD," "Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 2" and "3" in the same role of Victoria, working with luminary Troma actors such as Lisa Gaye and Brick Bronsky. Tell me about your introduction to the Troma pictures, the experience of making them and what you feel is their everlasting impact, especially in the independent scene. 

I auditioned for "Class of Nuke 'Em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown" in Los Angeles with Brick Bronksy who had already been cast. I played Brick's love interest, Victoria, a subhumanoid created by Professor Holt (Lisa Gaye), whom he meets in a laboratory sex experiment and falls in love with. He later saves my life by rescuing me from melting down into green goo. That was my beginning with Troma. I worked with the director (Eric Louzil) in a small role on an earlier film called "Shock 'Em Dead" with Troy Donahue and Tracy Lords. I always had fun working with Troma and love them because their films always have an underlining message.They've been making independent films for over 40 years and are as strong as ever!!

4.) I see a new film you are in is currently in post-production, entitled "Slaughter Daughter." Is this a bigger role than you've had before?

"Slaughter Daughter" will be finished next month. It is director Travis Campbell's second film. His first was Troma's "Mr. Brick's" (with Nicola Fiore and Tim Dax). I play Nicola Fiore's overbearing, vampy mother in "Slaughter Daughter" who aids in driving her increasingly mentally unstable daughter, a former beauty queen,over the edge!! She then plots my death with the help of a serial killer, (Tim Dax) on death row!! The film was written by Lauren Miller (assistant editor at "Teen Mom"). Ninety-five percent of the cast and crew were women! Post production for "Slaughter Daughter" will most likely be completed next month.

I am currently producing a film called "After Birth" with writer/director Tara Robinson (Chuckie's Revenge) which stars Nicole Fiore and Peter Stickles (Shortbus, Showgirls 2). I will play Bethany's (Nicola Fiore) mother again!! William Belli (Ru Paul's Drag Race) has been cast as the female office assistant at a clinic.We are currently in pre-production and will begin shooting in Los Angeles in September. "After Birth" is the story of a terrifying journey where a defenseless girl must fight for survival against her hungry, flesh-eating, demonic baby. "Will she survive the midnight feedings?"

5.) I have noticed your advocacy for animal rights and your strict vegan diet. Do you own a cat, dog, other animals or all the above?

I have a black and white tuxedo cat named Moo. He looks like a little holstein calf and is my best friend and confidant. I met him in Florida when I was working on a film called "The Bros."(Joey Fatone, Airielle Kebbel, Ludacris and Dennis Scott)

6.) Any charities or animal rights groups that you support by name that you would like mentioned?

I am an animal rights advocate and have been active with Last Chance for Animals, a national animal advocacy group for over 20 years. I have an informational website called Animal Ashram and am in the process of filing for a 501 non-profit so that I can make an Animal Ashram a no-kill animal shelter/yoga studio in New York City next year. http://www.animalashram.com/

I have recently appeared on television shows Million Dollar Listing (Bravo), Jersey Couture (Oxygen) and the upcoming Season 5 of Bravo's "Real Housewives of New York City."

I am also in post production on a documentary about the entertainment industry in Los Angeles called "LaLa Land" that I am producing with director Georgiana Nestor ("The Sublet.") We hope to have it completed in a month or two and will hit the film festival circuit with it.

Lisa Gaye and Leesa Rowland (right) in "Two City Girls"

A Bogie Face in the Crowd (Brief Interview with John H. Tobin)

A Bogie Face in the Crowd (Brief interview with John H. Tobin)

By Jerry Saravia

John H. Tobin as Humphrey Bogart, a classic pose

John H. Tobin is a workmanlike actor who has appeared in scores of films, from an uncredited part in 1974's "UFO: Target Earth" to most recently as President Nixon in Michael Bay's "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." Television credits include "Chuck," "One Life to Live," "Will and Grace," "Mad Men," etc. Film credits are wide-ranging from big blockbusters like "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and "Mission: Impossible III," to smaller scale fare like "Far From Heaven" (Best film of 2002 in my opinion), 2011's Academy-Award Best Picture Winner "The Artist," Emilio Estevez's "Bobby," Rob Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects," "Cider House Rules," and 2001's Academy-Award Best Picture Winner "A Beautiful Mind."

John Tobin has also been a stand-in for actors such as Arie Gross, Jeff Demunn and Billy Bob Thornton (as a substitute stand-in for 2 films.) He has also photo-doubled for Dermot Mulroney in 2007's "Georgia Rule" (which starred Jane Fonda and Lindsay Lohan) and hand-doubled in David Fincher's "Zodiac." John also stood in for Paul Giamatti for one day oin 2007's  "Shoot ‘em Up."

Besides being a Foxwoods resort and Casino Poker dealer from 1995-2002 and an able soccer and golf player,  Tobin has also been a professional worldwide Humphrey Bogart impersonator for a long time, working mostly in Las Vegas and California and sometimes filling in at the last minute, such as the interview for the 2005 MTV Movie Awards where he had to play a scene from "Casablanca." John Tobin can also perform in accents such as Scottish, British, Irish and German. Though he is listed as a stand-in or has an uncredited walk-on role (with the exception of "Transformers"), he has got all the characteristics of Humphrey Bogart, both gruff, classy and world-renown in his looks. If anyone wants to do a biography of Humphrey Bogart on the big or small screen, I would say look up John H. Tobin first and foremost.

1.) In "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," you played an extra dressed in the attire of the Bogart character from "Treasure of the Sierra Madre." What was it like working on an Indiana Jones flick with people like Harrison Ford, Spielberg and company?

John H. Tobin as Sierra Madre Cowboy (to the right) in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

'It was wonderful to work 3 times with Steven Spielberg ("Crystal Skull," "Amistad" and "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" which Spielberg executive-produced)....he said I look just like Bogart!!'

2.) Speaking of Bogart, you have done multiple appearances as Bogart in many different functions, in addition to films (he played a Bogart character for the late Michael Jackson on the music video, Smooth Criminal, for the 2009 London tour). When did you realize, or was it your agent, that you had a similar look to Bogart?

'An actress in the "Verdict" film told me "you look like Bogart." In 1997, I then submitted for a Bogart type for a curtain factory commercial in Boston. I got the job and felt so blessed.'

3.) You had a slightly bigger role than usual as President Nixon in Michael Bay's "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." Is it easier playing a smaller role or a big role like a former U.S. President?

John H. Tobin as President Nixon in Transformers: Dark of the Moon

'I had pressure to play Nixon in Transformers 3 ..cause I had 8 lines to memorize in 15 minutes.'

4.) You also had an uncredited role as a violinist in "The Artist." Is violin one of your musical passions and when did you first start playing it? 

'I started playing violin in 1993. I'm not great though, but I can fake it in movies...'

5.) You were on "Mad Men" in an uncredited role as a waiter in the episode, "Six Month Leave." That has to be a cool show to work on, albeit with all the decor, the suits, the desks, the refined look of a different era. Any chance you'll have a different role in the future? 

'I'm not called for "Mad Men" this season yet but love to be called. Jon Hamm recognized me at a party...if you can put a good word in for me to casting director?'

6.) What kind of roles would you love to play in the future, and what roles would you absolutely not play? 

'As long as I get a check every 3 months for a small amount...plus my days check, and get 9 times the amount of a photo double, then I'm blessed...'

John Tobin speaks on working with Michael Jackson on the Smooth Criminal video

THRILL ME!

NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 Fred Dekker's "Night of the Creeps" is my kind of goofy, upbeat, slightly gory, breezy type of B-movie horror I adore. It is practically a Tarantino twist on alien invasion horror crossed with a wink at George Romero's zombies, you know, like a grindhouse feature. Considering the film was released in 1986, you might say it was a little ahead of its time.

The movie starts with the classic song playing, "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" as we enter the B-movie world of the 1950's, all shot in black-and-white (well, technically color film processed to look like black and white). A blonde teenager picks up his blonde girlfriend as they go on a little joyride to a barren road where a meteorite crashed. Something slasher comes this way as we see an escaped mental patient wielding an ax after the girl left behind in the car. Yeppers, B-movie aficionados, this is practically a 1950's Creature Feature.

Then we segue to the 1980's at a fraternity party that looks relatively tame next to anything in "Animal House." And you know it is the 1980's when you see Jason Lively (whom I remember best in "National Lampoon's European Vacation" and is Blake Lively's half-brother) as a nerd and girl-next-door Jill Whitlow ("Weird Science," "Twice Dead") as one of the fraternal brothers' girlfriends. Lively is Chris Romero who pines for Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow), though Chris's handicapped and jocose friend, J.C. (Steve Marshall), recommends he look elsewhere for a girlfriend. These two nerds try to join the fraternity but joining means having to steal a body from the cryogenics lab. A body in the lab has disappeared and had been frozen since the 50's. No Creature Feature DVD's for anyone who can't guess that the body is the college kid from the opening B&W sequence. And if you wonder where you have heard the names Romero and Cronenberg before, you ain't no horror movie fan.

"Night of the Creeps" has got icky looking slugs, alien zombies, flashing meteors, mild nudity, a "goose-stepping" fraternal brother with peroxide hair, Jill Whitlow using a flamethrower in pure Ripley-mode, cryogenic chambers, character actor David Paymer not recalling the passcode to enter his own lab, Tom Atkins as a gritty cop with a complex and a catchphrase ("Thrill Me!"), an Asian janitor who loves saying, "Screaming like banshees," Suzanne Snyder in a brief cameo as a sorority girl, a zombie cat, and much more. And to top it all off, there is a sincere, sensitively written scene between the two nerds and their mutual friendship that transcends the mash-up of genres with its added John Hughes touch. And Jill Whitlow exudes a sweetness that was a bit uncommon in 1980's flicks.

The sensibility behind "Night of the Creeps" is purely innocent and postmodernist. It evokes a 1950's Creature Feature transposed to the 1980s with the same sensibilities of a 50's horror flick. A fun thrill ride of a movie with a dark ending that makes for a great double-feature with "Return of the Living Dead."