Too many boo-boos

BOOGEYMAN (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Aside from the uneven 1980 horror flick, "The Boogeyman," I can't fathom on the noticeable lack of cinematic renderings of the childhood nighttime monster. I can say that John Carpenter's "Halloween" is the closest thing to some variation on a scary boogeyman. Stephen Kay's film "Boogeyman" doesn't merit equal praise or any, but it does try.

The film begins with a jumpy, scary opening sequence where a young boy senses a monster in his closet. His dad tells him not to worry and then suddenly, inexplicably, a monster grabs his dad and thrashes him in the closet. Not once, but three times. Maybe that was one too many for an old school horror aficionado like me, but the movie certainly got my attention. Cut to 15 years later, as we see that young boy as Tim (Barry Watson), who is still traumatized by those earlier events (who wouldn't be?) He has a loving girlfriend (Tory Mussett) but he can't seem to communicate with her. In his apartment, he has no closet space (no surprise there). Tim learns that his mother (thanklessly played by Lucy Lawless) is dead, though she pays a visit to his bedroom as a spectral spirit! Or is there something more, maybe incestual? Sorry to spoil it for you but not quite - no spanking the monkey here. After his mother's funeral, Barry visits his childhood domicile, has visions of the past, is still afraid of closets yet can't help but slowly open the doorknob to every closet and bedroom in the house, and people he knows start disappearing. Is this all in Tim's mind or is the Boogeyman coming to get him?

To be fair, the first two-thirds of the film had me intrigued. I was taken in by the atmosphere and those cold blue hues of a Minnesota town. I also liked the brief scenes between Tim and a former childhood friend, Kate (Emily Deschanel). And there are a couple of nice scenes with Olivia Tennet as a little girl who hides out in Tim's shed and knows a thing or two about the Boogeyman.

For scares, there are a few jolts here and there, but there are also too many flash cuts (a disturbing new trend in modern horror). The general story, though, of a man coming to grips with his past and a possibly real nightmare is avoided - it is just a setup that isn't fulfilled for the rest of the film. Mostly we have an extended promo for doorknobs - endless closeups of doorknobs. There are also various scenes of people entering or exiting rooms, or vanishing under beds or being sucked into closets that it must hold some new kind of record - a record low in horror. None of this transpires as scary or even remotely chilling. And the climactic ending is more silly than terrifying.

"Boogeyman" is hardly the worst horror film ever, and I do appreciate that director Stephen Kay ("Last Time I Committed Suicide") pays more attention to visual imagination than the requisite blood and gore theatrics. But it is a thinly-veiled, insipid horror film with an insipid protagonist who doesn't much care about anyone except his inner fears. It is the underlying rule in any horror film - you should care about the main protagonist so that the threat has urgency. "Boogeyman" simply makes too many boo-boos.

Yo, Rocko! You still got it!

ROCKY BALBOA (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Who would've thunk it? Stallone's sixth outing as Rocky Balboa turns out to be as good as any of the sequels since "Rocky II." Purging the abominable "Rocky V," "Rocky Balboa" is an incisive, almost poetic portrait of an old man who wants to prove to the world he's still got it. And Stallone certainly has it in spades.

As the movie opens, Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) is a 60-year-old man, still living in Philadelphia and with his cranky-as-ever brother-in-law Paulie (Burt Young). Rocky no longer has Adrian, his beloved wife, who lost her life to cancer. Still, the spirit of the Italian Stallion lives on as he is now owner of a restaurant called "Adrian's," and he entertains customers with stories of his old championship fights. One of his customers is an old opponent, Spider (Pedro Lovell), which will tickle Rocky fans who remember him as Rocky's first opponent in the original "Rocky" film.

Things change when a computer-generated fight between Rocky and the newest sensation, Mason "the Line" Dixon (played by heavyweight champ Antonio Tarver), sets Rocky's eyes in focus to a possible comeback. The question is: can a 60-year-old Rocky fight in the ring? Heck, George Foreman came back for one final round in the ring. The answer is yes, Rocky still has it. There is, however, chagrin from Rocky's son (Milo Ventimiglia), Paulie and just about everyone else in the boxing world ("Will this bout be an execution?"). But a scheduled exhibition fight is set in motion, and Mason Dixon considers this an easy one-two punch victory, or is it?

There is no question how this scenario is going to turn out. Still, "Rocky Balboa" does it with oodles of humanity and heart, thanks to Stallone's exemplary writing and directing reins. He knows Rocky inside and out, showing the character's emotional pain of the loss of his wife and the memories that still linger in good old Philly. Paulie is sick of Rocky's nostalgic reminders, yet Rocky is lost without Adrian. The chance to fight again and to share his spirited need to shape himself into a human being again with his son is what informs most of "Rocky Balboa." This movie has no glitz, no slickness to it whatsoever. It is a human drama about a lost soul who is clearly an optimist.

Especially touching is Rocky's renewed relationship with Marie (Geraldine Hughes), a former troubled teen who is now a bartender. Rocky befriends her and her son (James Francis Kelly III), though the fact that the son is a mulatto makes Rocky wonder where Marie has been hanging around. Nevertheless, Rocky gets Marie a job as a hostess for his restaurant. Perhaps, he is inspired by her or feels bad for her, or is hoping for a new love interest. The movie never quite gets around to it.

As inspired is the idea of an aging Rocky, the film would've been benefitted from less supporting characters. I wish there was more shown between Paulie and Rocky, two men who see the city isn't what it once was. I wish we learned more about Marie, a character given some spark by Geraldine Hughes yet, by the time we arrive at the obligatory championship finale, she is mostly there to cheer for Rocky. Little is divulged about Marie's son - again, another character on the sidelines. And Rocky Jr. is a cheerless banker who feels slighted by his father's glorious past - he only got the job as a banker because of his name (Nepotism can have its flaws). But the character has also been left on the cutting room floor.

The final fight is shown as an HBO special from one angle, with some occasional cuts to a bruised, black-and-white Rocky image with red blood dripping from his lips and eyes. The fight works but the real deal is that it wasn't needed - Stallone has already shown Rocky with more zeal before the fight than ever before.

Despite its flaws, "Rocky Balboa" is an often powerful, rousing, subtle and enriching film about aging. When Rocky learns that he has lost his speed (thanks to calcium deposits in his joints and arthritis), he builds his power from his gut and his heart. He can still run to the top of the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, lift weights, drink his eggs and punch those slabs of meat. He shows that despite his losses, he still has so much to gain. When Rocky gets back in the ring, you'll feel it too. Stallone has done what seemed the impossible - after thirty years, he has brought Rocky back in all his glory.

Exploiting the Exploiters

THE BIG ONE (1997)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

(originally reviewed in 1998)

"The Big One" is a pleasurable comedy, masquerading as a documentary, focusing on Michael Moore's attempts to focus on the truth surrounding the layoffs in Michigan and around the United States. We see unemployed people barking at Michael Moore and at the cameras about their poverty, Borders Bookstore employees complaining about tax cuts on their paychecks, a woman crying to Moore at one of his book signings about her inability to find work, and the penultimate moment when Moore confronts the Nike chairman and asks him why people in Mexico are working for 80 cents an hour.

"The Big One" has lots of scattered moments of truth, and plenty of it is just hearsay - the scene where the workers yell to Moore is obviously staged. I enjoyed the scenes where Moore and his video crew enter places of business and are threatened to leave, or when he gives some associates and bigwigs a big, fat check for 80 cents to the Mexican workers because "we want to help them out." All of this will be very familiar to anyone who's seen "Roger and Me" or his TV series "TV Nation."

Moore has a lot of good arguments about what's happening to hard workers around the country who work for candy companies or GM - if these corporations are making so much money, why are there so many layoffs? One word: competition, so they can be ahead of the others. That is why they pay so little to Mexican vagrants or children in Mexico and other countries - it is cheap labor for maximum profit. And then there are the airline workers who make flight reservations - nothing unusual about that except some of them are prisoners!

"The Big One" is very funny throughout and is more tightly edited than "Roger and Me." Moore could have a career as a comedian if he wants it, but he is after bigger game - to expose the truth through nuggets of humor. Some may say he is just exploiting the workers he's documenting. I would say he's exploiting the exploiters.

The tongue is cut in half from its cheek

EVIL DEAD (2013)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" films distinguished themselves from standard horror fare by amping up the horror and the absurd with tongue-in-cheek humor. Aside from the goofier-than-thou "Army of Darkness," Raimi made the early "Evil Dead" films playful and built the intensity with ingenuity and some horrifyingly funny gags. Most of all, they starred the incomparable Bruce Campbell as the chainsaw-wielding Ash whose silly grin and larger-than-life persona made it all rather "groovy." This "Evil Dead" remake (or perhaps an "alleged" sequel) amps up the blood and gore but has nothing else to deviate it from the norm.

We have rather wan characters on display here. Jane Levy is Mia, the recovering junkie who should have gone to Dr. Drew rather than Raimi's barren cabin in the middle of the woods. She is there with supportive friends, one of them is a nurse (all of whom are instantly forgettable on screen) and there is Mia's brother, David (Shiloh Fernandez) who has never been there for her. Why they all felt the need to be at a remote cabin in, literally, the middle of nowhere with a young woman who is going cold turkey, I cannot figure out. One character finds the Book of the Dead (missing its famous visage on the front cover) and unhooks the barbed wire that keeps it tightly shut (this would be a sure sign not to open the book). The book even tells the reader through its writings in blood TO LEAVE THIS BOOK ALONE! I think one phrase read: DON'T DO IT MOTHERF*****! A bunch of dead cats in the cellar that leaves a stench only Mia can smell would have me more worried than a damn book! The incantations are read, the blood from the sky falls, and the decapitations, disembowellings, amputations and every hook, line and sinker are displayed.

"Evil Dead" is pure sadism, on the order of "Hostel," but the original "Evil Dead" films were never sadistic - they were somewhat gory but they maintained the blood flow in moderation. Here, a demon cuts its wagging tongue in half! Another one chops off its arm! Even Mia loses her hand when a vehicle is overturned and crushes it! "Evil Dead II" references, much? But none of this is scary or chilling - you will turn away and cover your ears from the bone-crunching sound effects and not because of the resolutely dull fright factor.

Jane Levy gives the only performance in the movie that could be termed adequate. But the movie sorely needed someone like Bruce Campbell - he made us believe he was as nutty as the demons and we rooted for him. These characters are served up as bloody entrees with no particular taste or variety. All you get are the entrails and gallons of blood.

Rocky ended the Cold War?

ROCKY IV (1985)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Rocky IV" is the flashiest and emptiest "Rocky" sequel - an MTV video masquerading as a movie and it is something of a letdown, despite the usual rousing finish.

Sylvester Stallone is back as Rocky Balboa, the prosperous underdog who basically has nothing left to prove. He has a mansion, he still has his loving wife, Adrian (Talia Shire), his son, Rocky Jr. (Rocky Krakoff), and his lonely, exasperating brother-in-law, Paulie (Burt Young). Paulie is so lonely that nobody is in attendance at his birthday party except for his sister and Rocky and, get this, a robot!

Cut to a glitzy exhibition fight between Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) and a Russian boxer on steroids, Captain Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren), where there is most certainly going to be a loss (and it is treated as anything but an exhibition fight). Cut to Rocky being the Drago's next likely opponent. Cut to Adrian who doesn't understand why Rocky is going to fight (especially when Rocky refuses to get paid for it). Cut to Rocky training in the cold barren lands of Russia in one of thirty montages in the film, as well as intercutting between Rocky's fierce training outdoors and Drago's training indoors (and close-ups of steroid needles).

The training montages are effective, though some of the linking shots are obtrusive to say the least. For example, Drago fighting one opponent who falls to the floor in slow-motion is intercut with Rocky chopping down a tree - the tree falls as does the opponent. Nice idea, but slipshod in execution. I also like how Rocky trains by pulling dog sleds, carrying logs (as he did in "Rocky II"), running in the three feet of snow, and so on.

"Rocky IV" is reasonably entertaining but it is so preposterous that it makes Rambo look more human than Rocky by comparison. I like that Stallone, serving as writer and director, tackles the formerly Communist Russia as his subject, but did all the Russian diplomats and promoters have to be so cartoonish? And what about the actor playing Gorbachev who applauds with the Russian audience who cheer for Rocky to win the fight? And what about the preposterously cartoonish villain, Drago, who hardly ever utters a single syllable? In fact, Drago's wife (Brigette Nielsen) does all the talking at the press conferences while Drago only has his angry stare in his arsenal of facial expressions.

"Rocky IV" is silly and hardly has much drama in it. All we get are montages set to music and the rousing climax with Rocky draped with an American flag. It is a propagandistic music video - something I never expected the Rocky movies to ever be.

Cavill washes away Brandon Routh, and without red underwear

MAN OF STEEL (2013)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Zack Snyder's "Man of Steel" is not like any Superman movie I've ever seen. It is a sweeping, occasionally jarring and uneven yet completely watchable tale of an alien who has to hide his superpowers so as not to divulge his true identity. As I said, this is not your typical Superman flick (the name Superman, is only said twice) and, though I had reservations a few months back about revisiting his origin and witnessing a muted red-and-blue suit, this movie bravely and often brilliantly changes aspects of our favorite flying hero and makes him more human than we had ever seen before since, well, since "Superman II." Forget the limp, forgettable "Superman Returns," this is the richest, most complex Superman movie we've had in quite some time.

Snyder starts his film in Krypton, which looks decidedly more sepia-toned and uninviting than the icy, blue hues of the Christopher Reeve version. This Krypton looks more alive with flying creatures and many unhappy residents, not to mention a council of leaders who sit and ponder people's fates (even Kal-El's mother, who gives birth in the opening scene, is joyless). Jor-El (Russell Crowe) warns the disbelieving council of Krypton's last remaining days as a planet. General Zod (Michael Shannon - superbly intense beyond the subtleties of Terence Stamp) stages a military coup while Jor-El's son, Kal-El, is sent to Earth in an ugly-looking metallic vessel. Before one starts yawning with a "been there, seen that" attitude, the film jarringly cuts to an oil rig with an older Kal-El, now known as Clark Kent (Henry Cavill), who saves workers from an explosion. Then we get several flashback scenes to Kal-El's early years living with Ma and Pa Kent (Diane Lane, Kevin Costner) where Kal-El has to keep his super strength secret, even when saving dozens of kids in a school bus or in his refusal to fight bullies.

His duty on Earth is called in the Arctic during a military investigation of a Kryptonian vessel. It is in this vessel that Clark learns from Jor-El's hologram that his body has a genetic codex of the Kryptnonian race. Clark has a mission, the S standing for hope, and that is to save Earth from General Zod and his few followers who want to use a terraforming "world engine" to bring back the Kryptonian race by changing Earth into Krypton! Huh? Sounds like a master plan with Nazi implications, doesn't it? By doing this, mankind will be destroyed. Not if, um, Man of Steel or Clark Kent or the "superman" has anything to say about it.

"Man of Steel" jumps headlong into Krypton without any flashy title credit sequence or the iconic John Williams score. For a while, the movie rushes through its Krypton scenes without pausing for any real character motivation or interest - it is just the set-up. Jor-El warns the council, Zod appears and kills Jor-El, Kal-El flies into space, Zod and his minions are imprisoned in the Phantom Zone, Krypton explodes - it all happens too abruptly and in a flash. Then we see a bearded Clark Kent working a rig and I felt a little frustrated with the movie's erratic pacing and headache-inducing hand-held camera shots. Suddenly, we see ambitious Lois Lane (Amy Adams - perfectly cast), who prides herself on being a Pulitzer-Prize-winning reporter and whom we never see striking a single key in a typewriter or a computer! She gets wind of the Arctic alien vessel, sees the Superman and tries to get wind of his past history on Earth. Daily Planet editor Perry White appears but there isn't much of Laurence Fishburne in what could have been a juicy role. As I said, all this felt a little rushed and haphazard after the first half-hour.

But then there is a miracle. "Man of Steel" finds its footing after all the unnecessary exposition that we have seen before (all the codex talk is new, as is Zod's master race plans). Henry Cavill is amazingly convincing as a man who can't find his place on Earth and expresses doubt about his abilities to help mankind. When he first wears the suit and cape, he can't quite fly right - practice makes perfect. When Zod wishes to see him or else Earth will be held captive, Clark first visits the military in handcuffs and agrees to Zod's demands before knowing of the general's true intentions. One of a handful of powerful moments still has me shaking in my boots, my red boots (I wish). In one of many compelling flashbacks, Clark sees his Earth father, Pa Kent (Kevin Costner), trying to save the family dog from a major twister. Pa gives his son a look that he knows he is a goner and Clark screams with such deep emotion, your eyes will water.

"Man of Steel" has a 45-minute climax with CGI-heavy effects of Superman fighting Zod and his minions all over Metropolis, destroying half of the city and leaving it in ruins. Shots of colliding towers and skyscrapers toppling over each other as clouds of smoke and debris fill the air is a little too reminiscent of 9/11 (we obviously live in a post-9/11 world but comic-book movies have shown some of the iconic imagery of that tragic day a little too often). I much prefer the chaos from "Superman II" where Superman yelled at the villains who were ready to demolish a bus full of people: "Don't do it! The people!" In 2013, the special-effects show far more destruction than what could been achieved in 1981 but, please people, less is more. Still, it is rousing fun to see Superman beating up Zod and trying to prevent total annihilation of the human race - the action has verve and purpose and you hope everything turns out okay after the smoke has settled. There is a funny moment of perfectly-timed chaos when Zod confronts Ma Kent, wanting that damn codex. She expresses no knowledge of it and Zod gets so angry, he tosses a truck into her house!

"Man of Steel" is hardly a great movie, gets mired in much too much philosophizing, and it is not as upbeat as the Chris Reeve films (the first two have been incorrectly regarded as campy and they are not. Watch them again, Supe fans). 2013's Superman incarnation is a more elegiac rendering, has darker tones (Christopher Nolan's hand can be felt here) but it is never less than enthralling and potent. Cavill makes all the difference as Superman, showing greater sensitivity and humanity than ever before. He makes us wonder about Superman's existential musings on his purpose where his superhuman capabilities, not his identity this time around, cannot be revealed to mankind. Pa Kent tries to help him, so does Jor-El but it is up to Superman to find his inner self and expose himself as Earth's savior. It is those elements that make us care and, in that respect, it makes us believe that a man can fly all over again.

Footnote: As for the controversial ending, check out this detailed page on Superman's past confrontations with criminals and supervillains. http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/theSentry/news/?a=93008

Stallone trips on the Philadelphia Museum steps

ROCKY V (1990)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia
(Original review from 1991)
R.I.P Sage Stallone and Tommy Morrison - both taken from this world much too soon

Trying to differentiate one "Rocky" film from another can only be accomplished by seeing it as a gradual comic-book series with comic-book villains. After "Rocky II," Rocky fought Clubber Lang (Mr. T) in "III." Mostly all I can remember from "III" was that Burgess Meredith's Mickey character was accidentally killed by Lang. Otherwise, it was back to the usual training montages and the climactic finish (and the "Eye of the Tiger" song). "Rocky IV" had the cartoonish Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren) and there was the formulaic buildup along with the Russians screaming "Rocky!" during the climactic bout. So "Rocky V" was an attempt by writer Stallone and returning director of the original, John G. Avildsen, to bring back the mean streets mentality and heart of the first film. I think they tripped over each other on the way to the Philadelphia Museum.

Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) has suffered some brain damage since his last brutal bout with Ivan, and is told by the doctors not to box anymore. Although Rocky gets a lucrative deal for a boxing match, dear old Adrian (Talia Shire) is against the idea (like in all the other Rocky movies). No more boxing, no more money, and no other skills does Rocky possess, so it is back to good old Philadelphia.

Rocky and his drunker-than-thou brother-in-law, Paulie (Burt Young), open the old gym where Rocky was trained by Mickey. Now Rocky starts training a young hotheaded punk (Tommy Morrison) and we get a Don King-like promoter (Richard Gant, with the wild afro) and the usual deals involving money and power. Rocky's son (played by real-life son Sage Stallone) is constantly bullied in school. Rocky himself is back to wearing his old clothes, and looking rather like a 70's street hustler reject. We get montages of clips from "Rocky IV" and new clips of Mickey offering some advice. Yeah, I think you are right in thinking what I am thinking - the franchise clearly ran out of steam.

The original "Rocky" dealt with a character who had low ambitions yet had a big heart - he did some boxing on the side for no reason other than money. He was the underdog and, yes, the character had changed since but in "Rocky V," he is too much of an anomalous dunderheaded fool. It takes Rocky forever to realize his son is being bullied in school, and that his protégé is taking him for a ride. Added to that, there is a finale that is so foolish and anticlimactic that it makes the other "Rocky" films look like films of extreme subtlety by comparison. Not only is "Rocky V" the worst Rocky film, it is close to being the worst Sly Stallone flick ever made.