Wolves see humans as gods

 WHITE FANG (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

You can't go wrong with turning Jack London's fiercely (and justifiably) violent and human story, "White Fang," into a decent cinematic effort. This 1991 adaptation has the tropes of wilderness life in a log cabin and the customary dog fighting but it is not told from the wolf's point-of-view. There is a new character created out of whole cloth known as Jack Conroy (Ethan Hawke) and therein lies the limitations of London's anti-violence text in favor of a young man's journey into continuing his late father's dreams. 

Not to say that "White Fang" is not fine, richly scenic entertainment - it is - but its only partially in keeping with the roughly hewn themes of Jack London's book. Here, Jack Conroy has come to the brutal cold winter season in the Yukon territory to stake his father's claim in the Gold Rush. He desperately needs help to get there and insists on traveling with two prospectors, Clarence "Skunker" Thurston (Seymour Cassel) and Alex Larson (Klaus Maria Brandauer), both of whom are carrying a coffin! Yes, the coffin holds a corpse and they all travel with sled dogs to bury the coffin at a remote site through the dangerous territory. Unfortunately, snarling ravenous wolves are on their tail. There's also James Remar himself, the villain du jour during the 80's and 90's of cinematic offerings, as the vicious Beauty Smith who buys and uses White Fang, the half-wolf/half dog, in illegal dog fights. White Fang runs into Jack twice and Jack recognizes him as an older wolf dog when he only glanced at the animal as a former pup for two minutes (how, I can't say).

"White Fang" has some truly marvelous, captivating scenic shots (all shot in Haines and Skagway, Alaska) - you want to be in that icy cold, inviting environment and have your own log cabin facing a lake. It certainly feels lived-in and lends to its wholly realistic setting, especially the harshness of the cold and the mountainous regions and ice. "White Fang" does swing unevenly between Jack and White Fang and Alex Larson, the latter who turns out to be an illiterate prospector who learns to read thanks to Jack. I would have preferred more scenes of White Fang and his survival against mean, violent men and his developing relationship and trust with Jack. Still, it is a solid adventure and a genteel enough family picture that all kids above the age of 8 can enjoy. The classic book is essential as well.   

New low in annals of comedy

DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO (1999)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Original review from 2002

To describe "Deuce Bigalow" as childish, immature and an affront to all sensibilities is to lose sight of its intent. If it had succeeded in being all the above, it might have been a minor comedy hit. The problem with "Deuce Bigalow" is that it assumes tastelessness by its own virtue is funny. It is not.

Rob Schneider is Deuce, a fish tank cleaner who wants to score with some babelicious babes. He tries a female employee at a pet fish store but only in succeeds in getting a glimpse of her cleavage, unbeknownst to her. One fine day, while cleaning some gigolo's pool, he gets a job keeping watch of the gigolo's house and his prized fish. Deuce eventually finds himself in the enviable (or unenviable) position of being a gigolo, sometimes for a fee as low as ten dollars! The only major joke in this debacle is that he can barely afford a drink at a high-class bar with ten dollars. Hold the presses.

Meanwhile, we are subjected to jokes of rampant stupidity. Obesity, Tourette Syndrome, eating food in chlorine water, urinating in pools, cleaning feces in bathrooms are but a few samples of what passes for
humor. All these subjects could be funny if any humor was injected into them - they are not automatically funny by definition. I suspect many will determine the outcome of this movie within the first few minutes. What I didn't expect was to see a highly uncharismatic star like Schneider trying to one-up his mannerisms and incessant mugging. He is so grating that he gives new meaning to the phrase "a new low in the annals of comedy." To be fair, he has one solidly funny moment, just one. He has a moment where he gapes when he finds that the new love of his life has an artificial leg. This pretty much sums up the dreadful movie experience known as "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo."

Dehumanizing class distinction

 SALTBURN (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

It is tempting to call the off-kilter, blackly humorous, sexually frank and deeply unsettling "Saltburn" a great movie. After all, it has a humongous final twist you don't see coming and it scoffs at the rich and powerful, showcasing them as nothing more than vain, cold-hearted people who just happen to possess a literal heartbeat. The latter may be the film's deep flaw, however, as it doesn't give us much of a chance to see the humanity of the rich or those who come from working class origins either. Everyone is dehumanized and the filmmaker chooses a dehumanizing approach. 

"Saltburn" begins as a fish-out-of-water semi-comedy of manners as we are introduced to new Oxford student, Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan, exceptional in every way), who is mocked for his student jacket as he begins a semester at the most prestigious of U.K.'s universities. Oliver has a hard time fitting in and is angrily shouted at by another student whom Oliver refuses to ask a math question! Sure glad I am not that smart because I would not have lasted beyond a day at Oxford. Oliver is deeply smitten with a popular student, Felix (Jacob Elordi), and through apparent sheer intervention, they become friends as they drink merrily and spend time together. Oliver's father dies and Felix comforts him, little knowing the more troubling truths about this fish-out-of-water who came from Prescot, a small town close to Liverpool. 

Prescot is about as far removed from wealth as one can imagine, and Oliver is made to seem even more of a fish-out-of-water in terms of class distinction when he is invited to Felix's stately gated manor. Every room is the size of the most luxurious room you would find in an elegant hotel, and Oliver is quite taken by its size and scope. Felix lives with his parents, the loopy Sir James (Richard E. Grant) and the freewheeling candor of Lady Elspeth (Rosamund Pike, manifesting rather chillingly as a still life with a pulse). There's also Felix's sister, Venetia (an invigorating Alison Oliver), a nymphomaniac whom Oliver actually seduces. Between lavish parties and gratuitous karaoke, Oliver is not dismayed by the way the rich live - he's intoxicated by it and Felix and his family so much so that when it is time for him to exit the premises, he refuses. 

"Saltburn" is a compelling story though too often it feels like a demented freak show, daring us to look at the screen when we rather not. I am no prude to sexually deviant behavior but Oliver licking a bathtub after Felix has masturbated is not quite my cup of tea. Same with Oliver's seduction of Venetia which is colored by crimson lewdness and I will leave it at that. These sexually frank moments are just that, frank but hardly colored by any true eroticism. The goal here is to shock and writer-director Emerald Fennell does just that. You want to look away but you can't help but look - that is some kind of special gift this anything-goes director is willing to pursue.

Yet despite all the open sexuality and the sublime performances that teeter on the edge of theatricality, I was less than shocked by "Saltburn" overall. The characters are keenly-drawn personalities and they stick with you yet precious little humanity is divulged. Oliver is a little loony himself as he tries to have sex with everyone, male or female yet we are never sure of his motives, at least not till the end. He is a liar and a potential sociopath yet I never gleaned much more than that from him. Felix seems like the most normal of the bunch, a party animal as it were who can have his feelings hurt. 

While watching "Saltburn," it is superficially obvious that Fennell wants to present the rich as boring, bland, uptight people yet that is such a dull cliche at this point - there is no one to gravitate to or remotely care about. Felix's parents live a solitary life and have little regard for anyone or anything that impinges it. Same with Oliver, a young man who lies about his own family and craves Felix. The movie draws you in rather creepily yet distances us at the same time. You want to rub salt on the wounds you feel while watching this knuckle sandwich of a movie, instead of rubbing the salt on the wounds of the characters.  

Time-traveling Slashery goofiness

 TOTALLY KILLER (2023)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Youtube horror movie reviewer Cody Leach got it right - there is a subgenre of slasher horror that mashes good-natured sci-fi and fantasy and whatever else. "Totally Killer" is totally that kind of spirited, goofy, pop-cultured carnival mashup of a movie - a suspenseful time-traveling "Back to the Future" mashup with slasher tendencies of the "Scream" variety. Thankfully, those tendencies are kept to a minimum. 

The Sweet Sixteen Killer might be back in Vernon, a small town where not much happens. This killer wears a smiling Max Headroom-type mask complete with an arched eyebrow and, back in 1987, had stabbed three different high-school girls sixteen times on Halloween night. The latest victim in 2023 is not a high-school teen girl but rather a protective mother (Julie Bowen) of a high-school teen girl who has problems of her own, Jamie Hughes (Kiernan Shipka). Mom is attacked and killed by the supposed Sweet Sixteen Killer. Jamie can't hold back her tears and her father tries his best to soothe the loss. For a singular moment, I was reminded a little of Scott Derrickson's "The Black Phone" as the overcast tones gave off something unsettling in the air, not to mention the fractured relationship between Jamie and her parents. Pretty soon, though, the movie dives right in to Something Goofy This Way Comes as we see an amusement park that looks abandoned and unkempt yet still in working condition. Jamie is introduced to the park's one photo booth that is actually a time machine by her genius friend, Amelia (Kelcey Mawema). That's right, Amelia is a science wiz and no doubt that this invention would nag her a top prize at the science fair. When the killer comes calling for blood at the amusement park, Jamie hides in the phone booth and inadvertently activates it traveling back to 1987!  

Once she arrives in 1987, culture shock hits Jamie like a tidal wave of a most un-woke era. The high-school kids are mean and use words like "fat" and some unprintable sexual scatalogical language. Her future mother Pam (Olivia Holt) is actually mean and bullish as well (yep, a reference to "Mean Girls" figures here) and can't begin to comprehend Jamie's wagging-finger-of-shame at these un-PC high-schoolers. These kids are rough and play dodgeball fast and loose causing Jamie to have a bloody nose (oh, poor baby). Ultimately, the 1980's is hard living and DNA is still nonexistent so fingering the killer with evidence will be complicated. Jamie aims to protect her future mother and the other three girls from getting killed but can she convince them she's from the future? Can she also convince Amelia's mother? 

"Totally Killer" is a tasty confection to be sure full of refreshing surprises both comedic and horrific. The killer, an expert in karate, is truly a malevolent villain - his grinning mask is probably just as frightening as Ghostface from the "Scream" movies and the whodunit mystery resolution left me shocked. What truly stands out in all this tongue-in-cheek splendor is Kiernan Shipka who goes from dour teenager to an engaging young woman who has found herself in the dreary 80's decade - she may not appreciate the lewdness of the teenagers but she manages to help them find their humanity, including Pam. She makes them care and who would've guessed that we would find life lessons in a less gory, slightly elevated and highly entertaining slasher flick. Jamie changes history almost as often as Marty McFly did in "Back to the Future." This unusual movie almost made me want to go back in time to the 1980's. Almost. 

Careless muddled action

THE PEACEMAKER (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Something was off in the first fifteen minutes of "The Peacemaker." I knew it when one lower
ranking officer survives a colliding train wreck just before a nuclear explosion is set off that he
probably would be killed. And it happens, in the first fifteen minutes. Of course, some other
Bosnian official or nationalist is eliminated in the first minute of the film, and we never learn
who he was, his purpose or his relation to the rest of the plot. It is that kind of movie, short
on logic and long on action-oriented mood.

There is Nicole Kidman as Dr. Julia Kelly, a White House expert on nuclear missiles and nuclear missile smugglers, who figures that the Russian nuclear explosion was no accident - it was a terrorist act. There is the no-nonsense, impulsive Colonel Thomas Devoe (George Clooney), an intelligence officer who interrupts her briefing to certify that the satellite photos show people jumping off a train before the fatal train collision. Hence, the collision was no accident either. So they are now in pursuit of nine nuclear bombs, including one that is inside a terrorist's knapsack! We learn some backstory about the terrorist, mainly that he lost his family to snipers in Yugoslavia. He is quite mad about that. Amazingly, we learn next to nothing about our pursuers. Kidman's Dr. Julia's only noticeable trait is that she swims. Colonel Devoe happens to know much more about world politics than the doctor and has so many connections that one might ask, why does she occasionally tag along with him around the world? What does he need her for?

"The Peacemaker" has great locations and a great sense of time and place, but it is really just an overlong, muddled action movie. Villains come and go with great ease and we get reminders of the Gulf War, and there are many shots of satellite video feeds and photos. The action scenes are well-paced and
thrilling, but so what? What is "The Peacemaker" really about and where is the sense of urgency when we can't tell one arbitrary villain from another?

For all its high octane action sequences and generic explosions, "The Peacemaker" is not much of a movie. It is occasionally diverting enough, especially during a tense climax in New York City, but we care less about the characters and more about the villain's tearful plea for the "way things were."
A careless muddle, at best.

Cheap Trick

 TAKING LIVES (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed on March 20th, 2004

Peter Bogdanovich once made a startling comment about Orson Welles's "Touch of Evil." He said that it took more than twenty viewings before he realized there was a plot. That means he was taken in by the innovative style and atmosphere of the film. Indeed, "Touch of Evil" is one of the best noir thrillers ever
made, and all the more innovative for its strong, stark photography and sublime use of overlapping sound. Amazingly, "Taking Lives" is superbly shot and tightly edited and has a strong sense of atmosphere as well. Well, at least for the first hour, until it becomes as overdone as a sirloin steak. And I do not believe there is much of a plot either, so don't ask me to watch it nineteen times.

Angelina Jolie plays Illeana Scott, a soft-spoken FBI agent assigned to a murder case in Montreal. For some reason, the French-Canadian cops do not have access to FBI agents in their own country so they get one from Washington, D.C. Perhaps FBI has no offices in Canada (though I am sure there must be some) or none of the agents look like the babelicious Angelina Jolie. Ah, a better reason. The murder involves a disfigured body, presumably with the eyes buried underneath the skin! Ms. Scott has to find the villain, and so we meet two potential suspects. One is James Costa (Ethan Hawke), a successful gallery owner who had witnessed another crime involving someone's head getting bashed
in. The other is a mystery figure played by Kiefer Sutherland, whom I can't say much about because I am still not clear what his relation is to the story. So who killed whom? What is the deal with these disfigured bodies? And how about the basement sequence where the presumed killer is hiding under a bed? Or the concerned mother (Gena Rowlands) who says her son is still alive?

What we have here is a film full of red herrings and twists that lead nowhere. All I can say is that I guessed who the killer was from the beginning. Therefore, we lurch forward waiting for some element of surprise, something to make us guess that our initial suspicions were false. Or perhaps we can learn a
little something about Jolie's agent, whose only noticeable quirk is that she sleeps in the area where the murder victims are found. Outside of that, she is not half as interesting as Jodie Foster's Clarice Starling in "Silence of the Lambs," the model by which all female enforcers are to be judged. Ethan Hawke
is less charismatic than usual, but he does try. The French Canadian cops (two of whom are played by Jean-Hughes Anglade and Tcheky Karyo, both from "La Femme Nikita") are given little screen time except for the tough cop (Olivier Martinez) who hates Ms. Scott and even gives her a good wallop. Only Kiefer Sutherland comes across with presence and vitality. His one superb moment is done with no dialogue - he tries to get Hawke's attention by tapping a glass partition with the ring on his finger. That singular moment has more suspense and verve than almost anything else in the movie.

"Taking Lives" has a brilliant opening credits sequence (no doubt inspired by "Seven") and, as I said, the first half of the movie has the intensity of an above-average thriller. But then the movie veers into a hot lava bed of melodrama (that includes a car chase and a fiery explosion!) and closes with a
cheap trick that gives new meaning to the word "implausible." It is the sort of cheap, false, dishonest ending you might expect in an Angelina Jolie movie. Anyone care to remember "Original Sin"?

Switching faces

 FACE/OFF (1997)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Originally viewed in the spring of 1998

After seeing the implausible "Air Force One," I thought to myself - the action genre is dead and buried. Then comes "Face/Off," which is superior in every way despite having an even more ludicrous storyline.

The vibrant John Travolta plays an FBI agent, Sam Archer, whose son was killed by a colorful, psychopathic terrorist named Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage). Sam has a vendetta and wants to capture Castor. Castor is caught and wounded, and placed in a coma. Sam has a problem, though: he needs to find a bomb that is planted somewhere in the vast metropolis of Los Angeles. Despite some objections, Sam has his face surgically removed and implanted with the comatose Castor's! This way, Sam can pretend to be Castor making it easier to find where the bomb is
hidden. Problem is the real Castor has awakened from his coma, and has had his face surgically implanted with Sam's! Farfetched? You bet.

The difference between "Face/Off" and "Air Force One" is that "Face/Off" is actually great fun and it's also wickedly entertaining: it takes its inventive premise and brings it to life with imagination and fire. The tour-de-force is
John Travolta and Nicolas Cage who each cleverly play two roles: Travolta is the obsessed, quiet, compassionate Sam, and also plays the devious, evil Castor unbeknownst to Sam's family (they include Joan Allen as Sam's wife, Dominique Swain as his daughter). There's one priceless moment where Travolta as Castor gleefully announces, "Things are going to change around here."

Cage naturally plays the grandiose Castor who walks around in red and black attire complete with two gold-plated guns, and he also convincingly adopts Sam's placid nature while trying to prove to Castor's foes that he is the brutal
Castor, and simultaneously tries to prove to his wife that he is the real Sam! Both actors pull this off brilliantly (and they should be nominated for Oscars). Travolta had the best role (or roles) of his career since "Pulp Fiction," and
Nicolas Cage proves that he hasn't lost his offbeat nature (look at the hilarious scene where he dons priestly robes and sings "Hallelujah!").

"Face/Off" is that rarity: a smart, complex, humanistic, fast-moving character study draped with director John Woo's trademark slo-mo, close-up visuals and outrageous, explosive action. It's like watching a live-action comic book. The
film may have too high a body count and seem somewhat relentless, but it's always top-notch in every other department. "Air Force One" is the mediocre, senseless, exploitative action picture with little to remind us of the great
Harrison Ford films of the past. "Face/Off" shows that some imagination can still spill into your local multiplex from an accomplished director. The choice is ultimately yours.