Age before your time

 OLD (2021)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

A strangely beautiful and mystical beach area surrounded by huge cliffs where one ages considerably faster than norm is a good idea for any film, especially for M. Night Shyamalan. Let's not repeat what might be said with such a tentatively exciting movie idea, but you know the drill. It is an original idea (based on a French graphic novel) that leads nowhere, for a while, and then picks up only in the last fifteen minutes. 

A vacationing couple, Guy (Gael Garcia Bernal), who dabbles in insurance, and his wife Prisca (a memorable Vicky Krieps), who has an unfortunate ovarian tumor, are on the verge of divorce. They bring their two kids, 11-year old Maddox (Alexa Swinton) and 6-year-old Trent (Nolan River), and the parents try to appear normal despite constant shouting arguments. They are accompanied to the aforementioned beach area with a schizophrenic doctor (Rufus Sewell) and his very young wife who has a calcium deficiency, not to mention the doctor's mother who has a heart condition. There is already a rapper on the beach named Mid-Sized Sedan (Aaron Pierre), who is hemophiliac, and they all find his girlfriend show up dead from a presumed drowning. The doctor immediately thinks the rapper killed her and and tries to slash him with a knife only to find the cuts heal themselves! Suddenly the kids start aging rapidly within the hour and the adults start getting wrinkles. Guy has wrinkles and his vision gets blurry. Prisca starts getting deaf. You get the idea - everybody is aging but why is this happening? That questions remains elusive.

"Old" just made me laugh hysterically at times because the situations build around this concept are more absurd than horrific. When Trent becomes a teenager just after the first reel, he has sex with one girl named Kara (Eliza Scanlen) and she is pregnant and delivers a baby who dies before the second reel has truly begun. Situations become chaotic but they are more funny than scary. The doctor keeps asking what movie Marlon Brando starred in with Jack Nicholson ("Missouri Breaks," of course) and begins waving that knife at everyone. Kara has the idea of climbing the cliffs to escape but she falls to her death. One other woman stops getting seizures but then they violently start again. One other guy decides to swim past the cliffs but drowns. M. Night Shyamalan has a roving camera with long takes showing these people suffering but it is all too much, too soon, too insanely hyperactive. Rather than aging every half-hour, what if it was every 2 hours? This would allow time for character development, to get to know these people beyond just their rapid aging process. 

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

"Old" then proceeds to leave us only with Guy and Prisca on the island beach after everyone else dies, once again aging and seeking forgiveness from each other. It is these scenes that strike a true emotional chord and shows that maybe fewer beachgoers would have made this film more effective. When their kids, still living who become adults, discover a coral reef and swim past it, it leads to an unexpected finish involving a pharmaceutical company! I was floored by how watchable and emotional the scenes were between Guy and Prisca and Maddox and Trent. Unfortunately, that is too little and too late. "Old" is just too unintentionally funny and ridiculous to warrant such a strong finish.  

On Golden Pond for horror fans

 THE VISIT (2015)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Just when you thought it was unsafe to see an M. Night Shyamalan film (at least after "The Happening"), his true colors burst and delivered a well-made chiller that will keep you twisting and squirming in your chair while watching it. "The Visit" is a terrific, sickening horror flick, dependent on that nauseating feeling of impending doom that could seal the fate of the two young siblings in this movie. You want them to survive the unknowing horror that awaits them, and that is a lot easier said than done when you are in a house in the Pennsylvania countryside with eccentric grandparents. 

The movie did not start off well for me, with one older sibling, Becca (Olivia DeJonge), recording and narrating everything with a camera. Becca's younger brother, Tyler (Ed Oxenbould), also records everything and raps, eh, not so wonderfully. Cheery and Divorced Mom (Kathryn Hahn) is sending her kids to spend a week with their grandparents, Nana (Deanna Dunagan) and Pop Pop (Peter McRobbie), both of whom have not spoken to their daughter in over 15 years. Once the siblings arrive at a Pennsylvania country home, things start to spiral out of control and the movie picks up steam. Nana scratches walls in the middle of the night while being naked! When Pop Pop is at the shed, he doesn't respond at all when Tyler calls him - it turns out there is something stinky in there. Nana goes nuts, hitting herself, when interviewed by Becca particularly when questioned about her daughter - geez, how bad was it that Mom decided to run away from home at an early age? Lights must be out by 9:30 at night, and another rule is to stay away from the basement due to increasing mold. Yes, you guessed it, something unspeakable must be in there.

"The Visit" has moments of alarming terror, and of course there are those "jump scares" though they are not preceded by those cliched string sounds. Scenes where grandma is all on fours as she scurries like a rat under the house's foundation, or when grandma discovers their hidden video camera or, the most alarming moment, when she screams "Yahtzee!" are enough to make your spine tingle and possibly dislocate your shoulder from covering your mouth one too many times. Shyamalan's direction is pointed and assured and makes great visual use of the wintry countryside. I never felt that I was watching rambling hand-held camera viewpoints from kids who believe in shaking a camera, giving audience members reason to reach for the Dramamine. 

Both Deanna Dunagan and reliable pro character actor Peter McRobbie give riveting, intensifying performances - they represent a sort of unnerving twist on the "American Gothic" painting without much irony. I was wary of Ed Oxenbould as the annoying brat but I grew to like him - aren't all young, wannabe rappin' brothers annoying brats? Olivia DeJonge brings a lucid simplicity to Becca - she tries to remain strong amidst this chaotic weeklong stay. When her brother reveals the truth about Becca and how never looks at herself in the mirror when combing her hair, it is honest and heartbreaking at the same time.

"The Visit" is a vintage Shyamalan effort and he succeeds in telling the tale simply without any overwrought music or extraneous shock value. I can forgive the sight of stinky diapers and one too many Tyler raps because the movie envelops you with a certain dread and horrifying moments are accompanied by  silence and no music score. Think of this movie as "On Golden Pond" for horror fans. 

Hector 1, 2, 3

 TIMECRIMES (2007)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Time travel is a sheer impossibility because it is, and always has been, complicated by its illogical pretzel logic. If you go back in time, aren't you already creating a paradox by visiting and trampling on events that have already happened? Is it similar to the novel that suggests stepping on an insect will create a chain reaction of events that ultimately change the past and the future? What is fundamental about "Timecrimes" is that it assumes the internal time logic will persist no matter what you do to change it - it can't be undone. 

Somewhere in a remote, isolated rural part of Spain, a middle-aged man with a slight pot belly named Hector (Karra Elejalde) returns to his new home that is undergoing renovations. He lives with his wife, Clara (Candela Fernández), and they have a very romantic marriage. One cloudy afternoon, Hector sits outside his home on a lounge chair and looks out at the nearby woods with his binoculars. He sees a young nubile woman (Barbara Goenaga) who is seemingly getting undressed. Hector's eyes remain wide open though he never lets on to his wife on what he's seeing. We assume, like Hector, that this woman is with someone for an afternoon sexual rendezvous. As he approaches the area, the woman is naked and laying motionless. Has she been violated? Is she dead? Before one can answer those questions, Hector is stabbed in the arm with a pair of scissors and a man whose head is covered in bandages, the Pink Mummy as it were, leaves the area. Pretty soon Hector seeks refuge in an uninhabited facility where Blondie's "Picture This" is playing in the background. A walkie-talkie conversation with some young scientist (Nacho Vigalondo, the film's writer-director) leads to a silo where Hector discovers that the Pink Mummy is on his tail. A time machine is in this silo and Hector gets in it, goes back a few hours earlier, and finds out that the Pink Mummy is, oh, I would not even disclose that information. 

Watching "Timecrimes" is unnerving, intense and has a moral quandary that will leave you with more questions than answers. The surprises build up and are part of a clockwork design where the filmmakers do not cheat and stick to the unbreakable narrative structure. Suffice to say that Hector, who uses the time machine more than once, creates multiples of himself and just about runs into himself a little too often. They are not face-to-face encounters but they do result in terrifically and unsettling violent encounters involving numerous vehicles. Hector suffers multiple concussions yet keeps getting back up, trying to restore the chain of events and some semblance of normalcy. The Girl he finds in the woods is always there to help our protagonist, unsure of what is happening and yet she suffers the most. Some will criticize the film as being misogynist and somewhat cruel in nature, but the story needs said actions to propel the story forward. Let's say that Hector goes from hero to antihero halfway through the story development, and you might feel less sympathy for our troubled protagonist as the plot unravels. 

"Timecrimes" is Nacho Vigalondo's debut and it is stunning in more ways than one. The cinematography has a dank, claustrophobic and desaturated look, stripped of any color (other than a red vehicle and the Girl's colorful logo on her T-shirt). This makes "Timecrimes" less than inviting and lends it a sense of the forbidden. The finale might give you pause yet it is a fitting reminder that time marches on, unchanged, and our destiny is predetermined by choices we make - you just can't renege on what has already transpired. Think of it as an anti-time travel movie.

Keeping Eyes Wide Open for Kubrick's swan song

 SK13: KUBRICK'S ENDGAME (2024)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Tony Zierra's meticulously constructed and thoroughly researched documentary on Stanley Kubrick's last film, "Eyes Wide Shut," deserves praise to the high heavens. It is not just an average documentary or puff piece, this is an entertaining and thoroughly captivating account of Kubrick's controversial swan song that was reviled by most and praised by a select few. In the last 25 years, it is difficult to know if "Eyes Wide Shut" is something of a cult film or if it has gained a new life as a forgotten masterpiece. Perhaps it will suffer the same fate that befell "Barry Lyndon," a beautiful picture to look at and admire and not much else. That would be a shame and hopefully "SK13" will warrant a revisit from its detractors. I am not one of its detractors, I always loved "Eyes Wide Shut" as a trance-like meditation on marriage and sex but, after seeing this powerhouse of a doco, I want to see Kubrick's film yet again. High praise, indeed. 

"SK13" begins with the criticisms surrounding Kubrick's film and the speculation months prior to its release and following the grand master's death (who knew that Jeffrey Lyons, former film critic for "At the Movies" found it pretentious and tedious). After all the hoopla, Zierra starts to objectively examine dozens of continuity errors, intentional or not (and I would definitely say intentional), throughout "Eyes Wide Shut." Still, the assumption is that members of the film crew thought that Kubrick was getting older and was not as demanding in his perfectionism - during a 2 year film shoot, did he just slip one too many times in filming the same locations and dressing them up as different areas of NYC without noticing the finer details? Why was the Somerton sign for the mansion behind the chain link fence when in fact the previous shot showed at as closer to the front gates? Why do paintings and lamps keep changing positions through different angles in the same rooms? My favorite is when Cruise's character, Dr. Bill Harford, leaves in a cab from the Sonata Cafe that is next door to Gillespie's and travels to the Rainbow costume shop yet it is obvious that Gillespie's is right across the street, thanks to a reverse shot of Harford trying to enter the shop. Or how the same yellow NY cab is seen time and again with the same license plate - was all this part of the effect to accentuate the dream-like state? Is "Eyes Wide Shut" all just a dream?

There is also mention of the exhaustive production details such as the numerous kinds of specific underwear the topless masked women wear in the seemingly Satanic ritual at Somerton. Most telling is Marie Richardson's comments on Kubrick telling her take after take to emote more, to really let it all out as her character makes a pass at Dr. Bill. Rade Šerbedžija, who plays the Rainbow costume shop owner, discusses how Kubrick pooh-poohed Rade's acting skills, claiming that Rade's audition tape shows a better actor. Sydney Pollack, a seasoned director in his own right who played the role of Ziegler, went through 70 takes of just walking across the room. The film's production went on for too long with steadicam operators quitting and being replaced, with Harvey Keitel getting fired for his role as Ziegler (replaced by Pollack) due to being disrespected by Kubrick and standing up to the director, and Jennifer Jason Leigh's role also replaced by the aforementioned Richardson. Clearly, for a 2-year continuous movie shoot, the exhaustion and exasperation set in. Sometimes Kubrick was just waiting for something special to happen while the cameras were rolling. After the film was completed, Zierra tells us that Warner executives and shareholders were not in fact happy with the completed final cut - they were furious with it and thought it was a bad, bad, bad thing. Then there's the revelation, new to me, that Pat Kingsley (Tom and Nicole's publicist) also saw an advanced screening of the film at Kubrick's home in Childwickbury two days before Stanley died. 

"Eyes Wide Shut" was seemingly taken from his hands after Kubrick's death, and allegedly completed by Sydney Pollack and Steven Spielberg. At least we do know with assurance that ILM did step in, inserting those absurd cloaked figures in front of sexual acts at the orgy to prevent it from getting the dreaded NC-17 rating. But was the film more or less complete before Kubrick died? We will never know for sure, though we do know Kubrick tinkered with his films often after a premiere date or even years after completing them. 

Nevertheless, "SK13" makes the case for a reevaluation of "Eyes Wide Shut," to look deeper into its overall meaning and subliminal themes and shot compositions. I am not sure if "Eyes Wide Shut" will ever get the "Room 237" treatment but it just might. "SK13" is exquisitely made and told with complete conviction with some very telling interviews (the late Julian Senior, former Warner Bros. Marketing Executive, at one point tells Zierra to cut the scene where he may have something revealing to say) and Zierra's commanding voice-over narration. It would be a bad, bad thing to ignore this powerful and illuminating documentary. 

Put a Little Love in Your Heart

 SCROOGED (1988)

Reassessment by Jerry Saravia

Umpteenth renditions and adaptations of "A Christmas Carol" have existed since the silent era but a modern-day variation with Bill Murray as a Scrooge-like miser is unusual. Richard Donner's "Scrooged" is also the exception in that it is often crass, mean-spirited and blackly comical yet I was a little more elated by it than I had been when I first saw it. It may be my age but I relate to Murray's Scrooge more than I did before and share his message of universal love where every day can, and should, feel like Christmas. When you are in your teens, a message like that seems forced and counterproductive. Now, it seems genuine and something I slowly believed in ever since.

Make no mistake: this is not the classiest nor one of the best versions of Dickens' novel, not even close (Alistair Sims and George C. Scott rule as the definitive versions). Some of "Scrooged's" humorous takes are not that funny, especially the Richard Pryor joke that will not make sense to anyone who might not even know who Pryor is (sacrilege). Murray is Frank Cross, the president of IBC TV productions who wants to advertise a live-taping of "Scrooge" as if your life depended on it. There is satire there with the TV ads including regaling cameos by Robert Goulet ("A Cajun Christmas") and Lee Majors saving an armed Santa in "The Night the Reindeer Died." The satire hits its over-the-top meter with Bobcat Goldthwait as a worried executive who thinks the latest ad designed by Cross goes too far - well, the executive is hastily fired at a record-breaking 4 minutes! At the soundstage rehearsals, Cross tells a guy to staple antlers on a mouse while possibly trying to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend, Claire (Karen Allen), whom he has not spoken to in 15 years. She calls him Lumpy.

"Scrooged" works best with the satisfying chemistry between Murray and Allen (the flashbacks to their initial encounter and the gift he gives her on Christmas, a set of kitchen knives, are as warm and romantic as you might expect). I also found an unsettling and darkly comical feel to the different ghosts Cross encounters, from the slapstick "Three Stooges"-variety of Carol Kane as a sprightly and improperly violent Ghost of Christmas Present (she almost knocks Frank out with a toaster oven), to some pretty mildly funny exchanges between Frank and his old "dead" boss, to some truly unnerving scenes with the Ghost of Christmas Future where we see Claire as some rich woman who pooh-poohs some Oliver Twist urchins and wears ten pounds of white makeup. Kudos to Alfre Woodard as a female version of Bob Cratchit who has to put up with Frank's taskmaster of a boss (Frank even crumples a drawing made by her son that felt cheap and unnecessary - we are supposed to be on Frank's side through the course of this story and making him that tyrannical is too realistic for this fantasy). Woodard has priceless moments, though, of disbelief over her mean boss and her eyes of wider disbelief towards the end that really help make her character believe in the power of Christmas - we believe it too.  

"Scrooged" fittingly ends with a message of hope and unity and only Bill Murray can make that work and make you believe in Christmas as more than just a consumerist holiday. For this mildly old geezer, the ending makes me want to put a little love in my own heart...every day.  

You will want to visit the North Pole

 THE POLAR EXPRESS (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Swooshing by with elegance and joy in every frame, "The Polar Express" is something of a minor miracle in 21st century Christmas movies - it is actually fun! There is a sense of fun and wonder to it all and, despite shortcomings in the CGI department with face-recognition technology, I still bought the trip and would definitely repeat it.

A young kid lays in bed on Christmas Eve, he is known in the credits as Hero Boy (Daryl Sabara), and suspects that Santa Claus may not exist. His younger sister still believes, but he doesn't. Hero Boy hears something rattling the roof and wonders if it could be Santa's galloping reindeer and those jangling sleigh bells. When he checks the milk and cookies downstairs in his house, they still have not been consumed. Then there is a more substantial rattling and practically the feeling of an earthquake when a train arrives outside his doorstep. It is the Polar Express with its chief conductor (Tom Hanks) asking the kid if he wishes to come on board and go to the North Pole. Reluctantly, he boards this magical-looking train.

Quite a few kids are on board, most still wearing their pajamas and their homes have been personally selected for this magical experience. The destination is the North Pole where they will meet Santa Claus, his reindeer and thousands of elves with a special toy given to one child on the express train. I say express but the train does make a couple of unscheduled stops, like the dozens of caribou blocking the tracks or the dangerous ride through a lake of ice where the railway can't be seen! Heading north will be dangerous with freezing temperatures to boot.

"The Polar Express" is a bit offputting at first with its CGI rubbery faces of adults and children; there is not enough nuance or emotion in their facial expressions. Still, I bought it and was along for the ride. I love the world of the North Pole with its many intricate passageways through its town. I love the giant red toy bag where the kids find themselves in accidentally, or how the elves make their determinations about who is naughty or nice with a final word by the Elf General! I also enjoyed the brief appearances of Hobo who is riding on top of the train cars, looking like some 1930's Depression-Era hobo who has been on this trip before (of course, Hero Boy only imagines he's seeing Hobo who comes equipped with hot coffee and skis).  

My biggest compliment to "The Polar Express" is that it makes me wish I could go to the North Pole. It brings back that youthful feeling, the feeling of being a kid again and wanting to believe in the impossible.  

Don't take over someone's holiday

 THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993)

An Appreciation by Jerry Saravia

Though director Tim Burton did not helm this stop-motion masterpiece of unparalleled imagination (the director is Henry Selick), you still feel it is unmistakably Burton all the way. The kooky, creepy aesthetics aside, "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is not just an incredible animated film in its own right, it is also wondrously inventive and oodles of fun for all its 77 minutes. Not one shot is wasted, not any one shot has less detail than expected for stop-motion animation. Everything and everyone moves - motion is consistent in the background as well as the foreground so that you feel you are a part of this strange new world. Strange it is. I am not joking.

The strange new world is Halloween Town where a skeletal Pumpkin King reigns with new surprises and horrors every Halloween. He is Jack Skellington (voiced by Chris Sarandon), a truly bony skeleton who has long legs that resemble sticks and no eyes in his black sockets. He is tired of Halloween, all the shock and awe has withered away for him. Sally (Catherine O'Hara), a Frankenstein-type creation and a rag doll, feels sorry for Jack. One day, Jack discovers a set of trees in the woods for different portals to other holidays. Thanksgiving is one (with a turkey as its symbol) and a curious Christmas tree symbol as another. Jack enters the Christmas tree portal and falls accidentally into Christmas Town where elves make toys, there is a jolly fat man named "Sandy Claws" (I always laugh at that one), and there is an abundance of snow and merriment. Everything is bright, cheerful and colorful with this crazy notion of putting multi-colored lights around a tree! To us, this is normal but to Jack, this is odd and surreal. Well, you know the rest and I am not joking! You're joking, you're joking, if you have not seen this Burton masterpiece in the last thirty years. Okay, so Jack has three little Ooogie Boogie misfits kidnap Santa so Jack can dress up as St. Nick and give the kids Halloween gifts of the eerie, distasteful kind such as severed heads, a slithering big snake and other deadly toys that chase kids around the house!

"The Nightmare Before Christmas" is a wickedly riotous, fun-filled and supremely Gothic delight that puts its own stamp on Christmas and still preserves its universal meaning (remember Jack's heart warms up earlier on in his visit to Christmas Town). Jack is not a threat nor does he mean to cause disruption - he just does like all the other denizens of Halloween Town. It takes a stitched-up Sally to save him from complete destruction. Awesomely staged musical numbers ("What's This?" might be my favorite) with memorable characters every step of the way (including the Oogie Boogie Monster and those Draculas playing on a field of ice, not to mention the sad/happy face of the local mayor), no other movie aside from "A Christmas Story" brings me more joy in the Yuletide season than this one. A true keeper.