THE 13TH CHILD: THE LEGEND OF THE JERSEY DEVIL
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia (original review written in Oct. 2002)
I do not know what is worse: knowing that Cliff Robertson appeared in this film or that low-grade shockers like this still exist. Back in 1996, we had the phenomenally funny "Werewolf," a movie so bad that Mystery Science Theatre even took a stab at mocking it. I wish they were still on the air because, without a doubt, they would have a field day with "The 13th Child."
Set on Halloween, and the days preceding Michael Myer's holiday, we are told that the Jersey Devil is out in the Pine Barrens of the good old Garden State killing and mutilating folks, including escaped mental patients! Lesley Ann-Down appears in this travesty as some attorney who hires an assistant D.A. (Michelle Maryk) to find the Jersey Devil and her long-lost father in the Pine Barrens. The assistant D.A. finds an old hermit named Woody Shrouds (Cliff Robertson) who knows of the legend of the Jersey Devil, and hates humankind since he serves to protect his insects and other species from humans at any cost. This protection of insects and animals does not extend to deer, who are shown in numerous close-ups as either dismembered or disfigured.
Shot on digital video, "The 13th Child" is a load of hokum with cheesy sound effects and the usual rumblings in Dolby Digital sound to remind you that something scary is about to happen. There is one tense, well-edited sequence in which a hunter sits in his truck chewing tobacco after killing a hapless deer left hanging by a hook in his trunk. There is no music or any of those synthesizer sounds - instead, we just hear the radio announcements of the Jersey Devil nearby. It works, and it is the only decent scene in its entire 100 minute running time. The rest is on the level of an advanced high school play at the tenth grade level. Amateurish only skims the surface - the actors on hand are puerile. Sadly, Robert Guillaume, playing some former cop in a mental hospital, would have done better appearing in a sequel to "Lean On Me." The dialogue is edited in such a slipshod manner that, at times, Guillaume seems to be speaking the lines without moving his lips.
Cliff Robertson displays some dignity and presence - he is a reliable actor who once played John F. Kennedy in the film "P.T. 109" and even appeared as Peter Parker's dad in "Spider-Man." By the way, he was also cast in "Charly" and in Brian De Palma's "Obsession." Since he co-wrote this garbage, he can be partly blamed for this atrocity. My advice: ignore the Jersey Devil and rent any of these other films. You'll have a better time.
P.S. I saw this in a theatre in East Windsor, NJ and there was only one other occupant in the theatre. He hated it as much as I did. 'Nuff said.
1 comment:
Cliff Robertson was wrongfully blacklisted in the Industry for blowing the whistle on a Producer that somehow got hold of a check that was in Cliff's name. The Exec forged Cliff's name on it and cashed it. When Cliff called him out on it, the Industry blacklisted him. The Screen Actors Guild did nothing to stand up for him so in my mind, they are as equally guilty. Not that I am condoning a bad script, but when you go from a well known, well respected actor to forgotten by everyone including the Guild that is suppose to protect you, you may try anything to survive.
Post a Comment