Science will defeat the Gods!

HERCULES (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When I was 12, I saw "Hercules" in theaters and was ecstatic about seeing it. I was a fan of Lou Ferrigno (having met him in Canada at a monster truck show where he was signing autographs), so seeing him as Hercules was a treat. That is until I sat in my theater seat and witnessed the film itself, a highly unintelligible, meandering and godawful treatment of one of the strongest Greek mythological heroes of all time. Having seen it again recently, I certainly was not bored by. It is still godawful but it has a breezy spirit to it. It is not "Clash of the Titans," which it rips off shamelessly, but it is has enough action and questionable moments  to warrant a viewing.

So Hercules was created by Zeus as some sort of ball of light that floats to Earth and becomes a baby. The baby...ugh, must I go on? Let us say that baby Hercules kills two giant serpents by crushing them with his hands as if the serpents were made of Doritos. Some magical sword is stolen. We get a fetching Sybil Danning as Ariana, daughter of the the evil wizard King Minos (William Berger); a sorceress whose curse is lifted from looking like a crone out of "Princess Bride"; and a certain Princess Cassiopeia (Ingrid Anderson) who reveals her complete face by lifting her veil for the Strongest Man after he managed to clean the stables with the help of a raging river! (this is actually based on one of Hercules' Herculean feats). And we get a chariot that is fastened to a rock by a sorceress, who also has a thing for Hercules. A giant bear is thrown into space! Zeus lives on the moon instead of Mount Olympus. And I must not forget the giant robot creatures that Hercules must kill. And maybe mythology scholars will stop reading after I stated that Hercules was one of the strongest Greek heroes of all time, or is it Roman? Hercules is the Roman name for the Greek demigod, Heracles. Okay, myth lesson over. I mean, we are talking about a movie where a giant bear is thrown into space where it becomes a constellation!!! Ursa Major?

Basically, the movie is structured as a series of endurance tests that Hercules must pass (at one point, he even turns into a giant to create two continents). It is pure addle-brained hokum with one of the longest voice-over narrated openings ever (4 minutes that feels like 15). Lou Ferrigno has got the build for Hercules and the personality, sans the voice that was dubbed. The emotional range that Ferrigno must show after the death of his parents and the death of many others is nil. He is better at showing his rage during his feats of strength. Some of the supporting cast is lively and some are wooden (the actor playing Zeus is hardly the stuff that gods are made of) Sybil Danning has too few scenes (and disappointingly shares only one scene with the Hulk, er, Hercules), and Ingrid Anderson looks too pretty especially when she is ready to be sacrificed. "Hercules" is a rotten film with the most rudimentary special-effects composed with such bad timing and poor, mismatched lighting schemes that you can't help but laugh. It is entertaining enough which qualifies it as a good bad movie, but this movie is hardly the stuff that legends or Steve Reeves are made of. 

Didn't the Dark Knight already rise?

Didn't the Dark Knight already Rise? 

By Jerry Saravia

Maybe I am in the minority but I can't imagine what can be done that is as intoxicating or as epic as "The Dark Knight." In the closing scenes of "The Dark Knight," Joker (Heath Ledger) makes mincemeat out of Batman (Christian Bale) verbally, not physically. And Gotham City had its doubts about that flying bat man as well. At the end of the picture, the nocturnal hero flees in his Batbike and we were left with one of the most intriguing finales of any superhero movie ever. It was intriguing enough that director Christopher Nolan and most fans had their doubts that a third film should even exist (and I sensed an implied doubt about a third film after the premature death of Heath Ledger). How can you beat the Joker for pure malice, nastiness and destruction?

Thomas Hardy as Bane

Of course, money talks in Hollywood and Chris Nolan is again directing the third and final chapter in his revisionist Batman trilogy. Bane is the villain (previously seen in "Batman and Robin"), wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask (it comes equipped with an analgesic gas to relieve pain) that proves to make his dialogue sound like gibberish (this will be cleared up apparently in the movie). Catwoman is also back, played by the eternally boring actress, Anne Hathaway (sorry film fans but I have not had the pleasure of seeing her Academy-Award nominated work in "Rachel Getting Married", though she was quite effective in Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland"). Christian Bale is naturally back, whose own Batman and Bruce Wayne characters were reduced to second fiddle next to the Joker in the last picture (Of course, that might be by design.) Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox and Michael Caine as the butler, Alfred, also return.

But can this third chapter really thrill people much and be a match for the first two? I sense that a big NO is in order. I've seen the trailer and it looks more like a demented sequel to "The Departed" than anything remotely like Batman. Bane and his gang look like terrorists (perhaps, again, by design) and there is some Occupy Gotham subplot that sounds silly. Hathaway's Catwoman looks just as witless as Halle Berry's version. Gone is the seductively sleazy trappings of Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman from twenty years ago.  By the way, Pfeiffer was supposed to have her own "Catwoman" flick and it happened, but with the far less physically dominating presence of Halle Berry cast instead.

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman

Anne Hathaway as Catwoman

I know, I know, I shouldn't judge a movie by the sheer ineptitude of a trailer ("Shutter Island's" icky horror movie trailer has no similarity to the actual movie). But I am not worked up or anticipating this sequel. It seems that Nolan should've ended it with the emasculation and impotence of Batman in "The Dark Knight." This is true of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day," which ended the Terminator saga beautifully with no open-endedness. "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines" was a schlocky yet diverting sequel, more like an unnecessary and repetitive footnote that negated part 2. I guess I don't want a Batman movie to be too political and too police procedural-like (heaven knows, there is enough of that on television alone). A Batman movie should be fun and energetic, just like "Batman Begins" or even Tim Burton's own 1989 flick. "The Dark Knight" was a downer and purposely so, with many invigorating scenes and first-class acting and lots of subtle political overtones. It was epic fun and blackly witty and it closed those two flicks with an ambiguous note. I will probably see "Dark Knight Rises" at some point and hope I am wrong, but DC Comics's strangest hero seems to be occupying Chris Matthew's "Hardball" more than DC Comics.

The Dark Joker

THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)
 Reviewed by Jerry Saravia 
(Originally written in 2008)

"Batman Begins" was the best Batman film ever made, with a clear emphasis on who Batman and was and the dual identity of its nocturnal hero and his wealthy playboy counterpart. "The Dark Knight" has different concerns and strengths and it is probably as good as "Batman Begins" if it were not for a little less emphasis on Batman/Bruce Wayne than I would have liked.

Christian Bale is once again the Batman and Bruce Wayne, this time sensing that his days as a crime-fighting hero are possibly numbered. In the truly effective opening sequence, we see a bank robbery with its robbers wearing ugly clown masks and betraying each other by killing each other (their escape, hosted by the Joker, is nifty). Batman finds that his old foe, Scarecrow, and others are trying to do Batman's work, to no avail. A gray-haired crime lord (Eric Roberts) seems to have the entire city of Gotham on his payroll, but he faces a new threat - a malevolent, ugly freak with a white plastered face and a bloody smile, the Joker (played by the late Heath Ledger). This Joker is not a Jack Nicholson or a Cesar Romero impersonation - he is a tongue-flipping sociopath who thrives on chaos and destruction. He is not really witty and he's unclean, unsafe and a sheer monster who freely kills a gangster by impaling his head with a pencil. This man is so freakish, so nasty, so inhuman that you'd swear it was someone else under the makeup and not the handsome, stoic Heath Ledger. Yet Ledger lends a shred of wit to it. I love the moment when he confronts the city's gangsters and says, "Here is my card," as he flings a Joker card at them.

What can Batman and ambitious D.A. Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) and the sensitive police commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) do to fight this anarchic personality? Not much. The corruption of Gotham City and the investigation on Batman's secret identity (also part of the Joker's ploy in exchange for ending his random killings) is given the kind of treatment you might expect in a Sidney Lumet picture or even "The Departed." You also get the feeling that Batman is not much use anymore, and that Bruce Wayne knows it since the public at large see him as a vigilante. Even Alfred sees that the world is changing with his prophetic words, "Some men just want to see the world burn."

My major quibble is that writer-director Christopher Nolan has given us the same conflicted Batman that we saw in "Begins" yet our batty hero is overpowered by the Joker (a similar fault lied with Tim Burton's original "Batman"). Heath Ledger gives us such a tremendously eerie and transformatively scary Joker that you can't help but feel that he has defeated Batman from the moment he first appears on screen. Batman, to an extent, is mostly on the sidelines as a crime- fighting hero who becomes more anti-heroic by the end of the film. Though that is Nolan's point since the character is a noirish creation where good and evil don't quite exist, it serves as a detriment, a slight detriment but a detriment nonetheless. Also Bruce Wayne's relationship to Rachel Dawes, the assistant D.A. (Maggie Gyllenhaal replacing Katie Holmes), is given such short-shrift that unless you've seen "Batman Begins," you'll have no idea why they even speak to each other.

The focus is on the righteous Harvey Dent, who becomes Two-Face, the kind of freak that Batman and the Joker have become. This shift on character is fascinating but he is eclipsed by the Joker. In fact, let me reiterate, everyone in this movie is eclipsed by the Joker. Every scene with Ledger imbues a darkness that is unmistakably noirish and heavier than perhaps the filmmakers even intended. I still wanted more scenes between Bruce Wayne and his dutiful servant, Alfred (the always magnetic Michael Caine), and the weapons and gadgets expert, Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman).

Holy Criticisms, do I have anything positive to say besides Heath Ledger's performance? Of course, if you have read the opening paragraph, I clearly state that "The Dark Knight" is as good as "Batman Begins" but not superior (though this is a superior superhero movie). In terms of the scale of action and the choreography and some death-defying stunts, "The Dark Knight" is exquisitely and electrifyingly made. It is a thrill ride with a moral compass that is strikingly complex on the level of an epic tragedy. I still like the growling Batman and that awesome Batbike that travels at supersonic speeds (the Batmobile is still a marvel to watch). There are good performances and superb writing (quite a bit of a dialogue for a movie of this type) and many memorable lines of dialogue, especially by the "Why So Serious" Joker. I just miss seeing a development of Batman/Bruce Wayne's character - he left a lasting impression at the end of the first movie and I still like to know more about the brooding Batman. In this movie, the Joker takes center stage and gives you nightmares. Essentially, this is "The Dark Joker." A great movie, just not the one I was expecting.

Hughes at his zaniest

WEIRD SCIENCE (1985)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 "Weird Science" is the zaniest film to come out of director John Hughes's oeuvre. It is the sole teen film of his containing sci-fi and fantasy elements that are ground up and delivered with tasteful and tasteless comedy situations. It is not as tasteless or (and I do say that with all due respect to Mr. Hughes) as mean-spirited as "Sixteen Candles" nor is it as revealing about high school teenage life as "The Breakfast Club" (his best picture). But there is a core of sensitivity and something genial about "Weird Science" despite having a premise that should be dirtier and tasteless than it is.

Anthony Michael Hall and Ian Mitchell-Smith play the two prototypical teen nerds, Gary and Wyatt, who have nothing better to do on a Friday night than watch a colorized version of 1931's "Frankenstein" (not a bad idea in actuality). While watching the film, Gary summons the spirit of Colin Clive's Dr. Frankenstein in his own mind and comes up with an idea: with Wyatt's supercomputer PC ("Did it come with a toaster, too?") they decide to create their ideal woman. They manage to do this by hacking into a government computer, applying electrodes to a Barbie doll and then, after a red sky appears with thunderbolts striking and causing much damage to the house, Kelly LeBrock appears. "So what do you boys want to do first?" Apparently, Gary and Wyatt want to shower with her while still wearing their pants.

The boys call her Lisa, and Lisa takes them out on the town to a Chicago bar where this triad is not the ideal clientele. Then we get a mall sequence where Robert Rusler and Robert Downey, Jr. play two different teens males who harass the boys yet ogle at the sight of Lisa. Naturally, the film ends with a house party that outdoes "Sixteen Candles" for gross negligence of furniture, closets, and any other fixtures including tossing a piano out of a chimney (or was it the other way around)! The mutants from "Road Warrior" and "The Hills Have Eyes" show up, and Wyatt's grandparents are kept in suspended animation! Oh, lets us not forget the girls, including Judie Aronson and Suzanne Snyder as the two teen girls whom Gary and Wyatt are romantically interested in. And I can't exclude a brief cameo by Jill Whitlow as a perfume salesgirl who puts down the two nerds with sublime restraint ("Are you two getting something for your MOM?")

"Weird Science" is fun, engaging, loose, and occasionally quite gross (Bill Paxton as a toad will have you puking, but not with laughter). Anthony Michael Hall, though, steals the show with his high-energy comic spirit and he made me laugh any time he gapes in close-up. Ian-Mitchell Smith plays the straight man to the chaos of Anthony Michael Hall's cartoonish character and the exaggeration of almost anything else that transpires around them. But I wonder why is it that Lisa is more interested in helping the teenagers than having sex with them, hence the premise of this movie (I know, the boys gave her a brain with the help of Einstein's photo). Hard to say if Gary or Wyatt ever actually participate in anything sexual - the reason they conjured her up in the first place - since Hughes leaves it to the imagination. The lesson seems to be that the boys need to learn to grow up and "mingle." It is almost as if a soft-core porn comedy was transpiring and somebody short-circuited it to change it into a riotous John Hughes teen comedy with great special-effects. I loved the movie in 1985 and I do now, but I am unclear of Hughes's intentions.

The Shock 'Em, Nuke 'Em, Animal-Lovin' Troma Girl (An Interview with Leesa Rowland)

The Shock 'Em, Nuke 'Em, Animal Lovin' Troma Girl (An Interview with Leesa Rowland)

By Jerry Saravia

 Leesa Rowland's uploads of her best work

Troma Pictures has been in production for so long that most film fans may not be aware of their output or their longevity. They are a strong NJ independent film company that financed and released films such as "Class of Nuke 'Em High 1-3," "The Toxic Avenger" pictures, "Pot Zombies," and many more. Leesa Rowland is an actress who played the pivotal role of Victoria in "Class of Nuke 'Em High Parts 2 and 3" but she actually got her start in a couple of non-Troma pictures. Although she may play the innocent, dim-witted blonde Victoria (a subhumanoid), she stands out in a cast that also includes Lisa Gaye with a Marge-Simpson hairdo. It is Rowland's and her male co-star's innocence, Brick Bronsky, that gives the early Troma pictures a certain upbeat quality.

Leesa Rowland grew up in Austin, Texas and is the daughter of an artist and a college professor. She studied broadcast journalism at Texas Tech and studied acting at the famed Stella Adler Studio in Los Angeles, CA. She currently produces and acts in a variety show called "Two City Girls" with her friend and fellow Troma costar, Lisa Gaye. With a career that almost spans thirty years, you'll be surprised to learn of Leesa's cinematic roots and where she is at today.

1.) It might be of interest to my readers that a Troma actress actually started out her career in a David Byrne film, the spectacular "True Stories" (1986) ['"60 Minutes" on Acid, according to Byrne']. You are listed in an uncredited role, so what was that role?

I was cast as one of three blondes sitting on bar stools at a nightclub, but they cut the scene out in post production!

2.) I couldn't help but notice a credit for "Book of Love" [A Bob Shaye-directed romantic comedy about a love reminiscence dating back to the 1950] - a film I saw in theaters back in good old 1990. You got to work with some actors of stature, especially Michael McKean. IMDB lists your role as "Honeymoon." You'll forgive me for not recalling your part specifically but what role was "Honeymoon" and how did that role come about? 

"Book of Love" was the first film that Bob Shaye (Founder of New Line) directed {and his sole directing credit to date]. I got the audition for Honeymoon through my agent and was cast after a couple of callbacks. Honeymoon was a traveling showgirl that Peanut (Aeryk Egan) meets at the carnival and has a crush on. He waits for her after the show to ask for her autograph [and he gets to be kissed by Leesa's character].

Leesa Rowland in Class of Nuke 'Em High 2 (1990)

3.) You are, of course, a member of the Troma universe. You were cast in "Sgt. Kabukiman: NYPD," "Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 2" and "3" in the same role of Victoria, working with luminary Troma actors such as Lisa Gaye and Brick Bronsky. Tell me about your introduction to the Troma pictures, the experience of making them and what you feel is their everlasting impact, especially in the independent scene. 

I auditioned for "Class of Nuke 'Em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown" in Los Angeles with Brick Bronksy who had already been cast. I played Brick's love interest, Victoria, a subhumanoid created by Professor Holt (Lisa Gaye), whom he meets in a laboratory sex experiment and falls in love with. He later saves my life by rescuing me from melting down into green goo. That was my beginning with Troma. I worked with the director (Eric Louzil) in a small role on an earlier film called "Shock 'Em Dead" with Troy Donahue and Tracy Lords. I always had fun working with Troma and love them because their films always have an underlining message.They've been making independent films for over 40 years and are as strong as ever!!

4.) I see a new film you are in is currently in post-production, entitled "Slaughter Daughter." Is this a bigger role than you've had before?

"Slaughter Daughter" will be finished next month. It is director Travis Campbell's second film. His first was Troma's "Mr. Brick's" (with Nicola Fiore and Tim Dax). I play Nicola Fiore's overbearing, vampy mother in "Slaughter Daughter" who aids in driving her increasingly mentally unstable daughter, a former beauty queen,over the edge!! She then plots my death with the help of a serial killer, (Tim Dax) on death row!! The film was written by Lauren Miller (assistant editor at "Teen Mom"). Ninety-five percent of the cast and crew were women! Post production for "Slaughter Daughter" will most likely be completed next month.

I am currently producing a film called "After Birth" with writer/director Tara Robinson (Chuckie's Revenge) which stars Nicole Fiore and Peter Stickles (Shortbus, Showgirls 2). I will play Bethany's (Nicola Fiore) mother again!! William Belli (Ru Paul's Drag Race) has been cast as the female office assistant at a clinic.We are currently in pre-production and will begin shooting in Los Angeles in September. "After Birth" is the story of a terrifying journey where a defenseless girl must fight for survival against her hungry, flesh-eating, demonic baby. "Will she survive the midnight feedings?"

5.) I have noticed your advocacy for animal rights and your strict vegan diet. Do you own a cat, dog, other animals or all the above?

I have a black and white tuxedo cat named Moo. He looks like a little holstein calf and is my best friend and confidant. I met him in Florida when I was working on a film called "The Bros."(Joey Fatone, Airielle Kebbel, Ludacris and Dennis Scott)

6.) Any charities or animal rights groups that you support by name that you would like mentioned?

I am an animal rights advocate and have been active with Last Chance for Animals, a national animal advocacy group for over 20 years. I have an informational website called Animal Ashram and am in the process of filing for a 501 non-profit so that I can make an Animal Ashram a no-kill animal shelter/yoga studio in New York City next year. http://www.animalashram.com/

I have recently appeared on television shows Million Dollar Listing (Bravo), Jersey Couture (Oxygen) and the upcoming Season 5 of Bravo's "Real Housewives of New York City."

I am also in post production on a documentary about the entertainment industry in Los Angeles called "LaLa Land" that I am producing with director Georgiana Nestor ("The Sublet.") We hope to have it completed in a month or two and will hit the film festival circuit with it.

Lisa Gaye and Leesa Rowland (right) in "Two City Girls"

A Bogie Face in the Crowd (Brief Interview with John H. Tobin)

A Bogie Face in the Crowd (Brief interview with John H. Tobin)

By Jerry Saravia

John H. Tobin as Humphrey Bogart, a classic pose

John H. Tobin is a workmanlike actor who has appeared in scores of films, from an uncredited part in 1974's "UFO: Target Earth" to most recently as President Nixon in Michael Bay's "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." Television credits include "Chuck," "One Life to Live," "Will and Grace," "Mad Men," etc. Film credits are wide-ranging from big blockbusters like "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and "Mission: Impossible III," to smaller scale fare like "Far From Heaven" (Best film of 2002 in my opinion), 2011's Academy-Award Best Picture Winner "The Artist," Emilio Estevez's "Bobby," Rob Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects," "Cider House Rules," and 2001's Academy-Award Best Picture Winner "A Beautiful Mind."

John Tobin has also been a stand-in for actors such as Arie Gross, Jeff Demunn and Billy Bob Thornton (as a substitute stand-in for 2 films.) He has also photo-doubled for Dermot Mulroney in 2007's "Georgia Rule" (which starred Jane Fonda and Lindsay Lohan) and hand-doubled in David Fincher's "Zodiac." John also stood in for Paul Giamatti for one day oin 2007's  "Shoot ‘em Up."

Besides being a Foxwoods resort and Casino Poker dealer from 1995-2002 and an able soccer and golf player,  Tobin has also been a professional worldwide Humphrey Bogart impersonator for a long time, working mostly in Las Vegas and California and sometimes filling in at the last minute, such as the interview for the 2005 MTV Movie Awards where he had to play a scene from "Casablanca." John Tobin can also perform in accents such as Scottish, British, Irish and German. Though he is listed as a stand-in or has an uncredited walk-on role (with the exception of "Transformers"), he has got all the characteristics of Humphrey Bogart, both gruff, classy and world-renown in his looks. If anyone wants to do a biography of Humphrey Bogart on the big or small screen, I would say look up John H. Tobin first and foremost.

1.) In "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," you played an extra dressed in the attire of the Bogart character from "Treasure of the Sierra Madre." What was it like working on an Indiana Jones flick with people like Harrison Ford, Spielberg and company?

John H. Tobin as Sierra Madre Cowboy (to the right) in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

'It was wonderful to work 3 times with Steven Spielberg ("Crystal Skull," "Amistad" and "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" which Spielberg executive-produced)....he said I look just like Bogart!!'

2.) Speaking of Bogart, you have done multiple appearances as Bogart in many different functions, in addition to films (he played a Bogart character for the late Michael Jackson on the music video, Smooth Criminal, for the 2009 London tour). When did you realize, or was it your agent, that you had a similar look to Bogart?

'An actress in the "Verdict" film told me "you look like Bogart." In 1997, I then submitted for a Bogart type for a curtain factory commercial in Boston. I got the job and felt so blessed.'

3.) You had a slightly bigger role than usual as President Nixon in Michael Bay's "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." Is it easier playing a smaller role or a big role like a former U.S. President?

John H. Tobin as President Nixon in Transformers: Dark of the Moon

'I had pressure to play Nixon in Transformers 3 ..cause I had 8 lines to memorize in 15 minutes.'

4.) You also had an uncredited role as a violinist in "The Artist." Is violin one of your musical passions and when did you first start playing it? 

'I started playing violin in 1993. I'm not great though, but I can fake it in movies...'

5.) You were on "Mad Men" in an uncredited role as a waiter in the episode, "Six Month Leave." That has to be a cool show to work on, albeit with all the decor, the suits, the desks, the refined look of a different era. Any chance you'll have a different role in the future? 

'I'm not called for "Mad Men" this season yet but love to be called. Jon Hamm recognized me at a party...if you can put a good word in for me to casting director?'

6.) What kind of roles would you love to play in the future, and what roles would you absolutely not play? 

'As long as I get a check every 3 months for a small amount...plus my days check, and get 9 times the amount of a photo double, then I'm blessed...'

John Tobin speaks on working with Michael Jackson on the Smooth Criminal video

THRILL ME!

NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 Fred Dekker's "Night of the Creeps" is my kind of goofy, upbeat, slightly gory, breezy type of B-movie horror I adore. It is practically a Tarantino twist on alien invasion horror crossed with a wink at George Romero's zombies, you know, like a grindhouse feature. Considering the film was released in 1986, you might say it was a little ahead of its time.

The movie starts with the classic song playing, "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" as we enter the B-movie world of the 1950's, all shot in black-and-white (well, technically color film processed to look like black and white). A blonde teenager picks up his blonde girlfriend as they go on a little joyride to a barren road where a meteorite crashed. Something slasher comes this way as we see an escaped mental patient wielding an ax after the girl left behind in the car. Yeppers, B-movie aficionados, this is practically a 1950's Creature Feature.

Then we segue to the 1980's at a fraternity party that looks relatively tame next to anything in "Animal House." And you know it is the 1980's when you see Jason Lively (whom I remember best in "National Lampoon's European Vacation" and is Blake Lively's half-brother) as a nerd and girl-next-door Jill Whitlow ("Weird Science," "Twice Dead") as one of the fraternal brothers' girlfriends. Lively is Chris Romero who pines for Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow), though Chris's handicapped and jocose friend, J.C. (Steve Marshall), recommends he look elsewhere for a girlfriend. These two nerds try to join the fraternity but joining means having to steal a body from the cryogenics lab. A body in the lab has disappeared and had been frozen since the 50's. No Creature Feature DVD's for anyone who can't guess that the body is the college kid from the opening B&W sequence. And if you wonder where you have heard the names Romero and Cronenberg before, you ain't no horror movie fan.

"Night of the Creeps" has got icky looking slugs, alien zombies, flashing meteors, mild nudity, a "goose-stepping" fraternal brother with peroxide hair, Jill Whitlow using a flamethrower in pure Ripley-mode, cryogenic chambers, character actor David Paymer not recalling the passcode to enter his own lab, Tom Atkins as a gritty cop with a complex and a catchphrase ("Thrill Me!"), an Asian janitor who loves saying, "Screaming like banshees," Suzanne Snyder in a brief cameo as a sorority girl, a zombie cat, and much more. And to top it all off, there is a sincere, sensitively written scene between the two nerds and their mutual friendship that transcends the mash-up of genres with its added John Hughes touch. And Jill Whitlow exudes a sweetness that was a bit uncommon in 1980's flicks.

The sensibility behind "Night of the Creeps" is purely innocent and postmodernist. It evokes a 1950's Creature Feature transposed to the 1980s with the same sensibilities of a 50's horror flick. A fun thrill ride of a movie with a dark ending that makes for a great double-feature with "Return of the Living Dead."

More rockabilly than Godardian

BREATHLESS (1983)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The original French New Wave 1960 classic, "Breathless," was a frantic, jazzed-up take on American crime movies in a French setting by the notable director, Jean Luc-Godard. The Jim McBride-directed 1983 remake is a rock n' roll version of Godard's film, eschewing France for Los Angeles with a rockabilly vibe that screams killer, killer, killer. That's right, killer as in Jerry Lee Lewis's Killer persona or Elvis redressed as a amoral punk.

"Breathless" begins with Richard Gere as Jesse, a car thief who steals classic cars. He doesn't care about anything or anyone except having cash. In one scene, Jesse plays Jerry Lee Lewis music in the car he stole with all the glee and rockabilly one actor can muster. If you think you are seeing a strange, modernized Elvis Presley movie, you might be right. The background is clearly unreal with its deep red skies (I've always loved rear-screen background shots in driving scenes). This loud character could be spotted miles away after inadvertently killing a police officer but no. In L.A., someone strutting around the streets with his shirt opened and stealing newspapers from vending machines would not seem so out of place.

Jesse breaks into one apartment, seemingly a random break-in. We slowly discover that he knows the occupant of the apartment - Monica (Valerie Kaprisky), a French college student. She is fetching and they have lots of sex but, as she declares in one tremendously moving scene, Jesse is not a part of her equation. But Jesse doesn't fit into equations - he has no plans for the future, he just wants to live it. Meanwhile, we have a couple of thrilling chase scenes where the couple run into some sordid alleyways, punk discos, Mexican restaurants, etc. The rock music selections are pumped up and loud and truly drive the movie into glorious, high-pitched comic-book delusions. At times, "Breathless" feels like a kinetic comic-book, pulp fiction movie - it is no accident that Jesse is always reading the Silver Surfer (no wonder Quentin Tarantino loves this movie).

I don't take either version of "Breathless" seriously but this remake is an homage with different moods and a different style (there are none of the jump cuts that gave the original a frantic energy). The two romantic leads do not try to one-up Jean Paul Belmondo or Jean Seberg from the original. Richard Gere, though, is the one who makes this cartoonish trip worthwhile - he is also in on the joke. The joke is stylistic but the character's concerns are relative human - strut your stuff, live for the day, save yourself and love without inhibition. He can and does, but he is also at the end of his rope. A fatalistic noir picture redone as a lost 50's rebel movie transposed to a 1980's setting. It is not every day you run into a film of that kind.

The First Avenger in full patriotic swing

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (2011)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When remembering my favorite Marvel heroes as a kid, I always had a soft spot for Captain America. He is the one who came from a patriotic time where it was okay to fight a war you believed in. In the case of the Cap Man, it was World War II and he fought Nazis and the legendary villain, Red Skull. In terms of cinematic and television adaptations, Captain America has suffered. A 1990 flick with Matt Salinger was disappointingly mediocre with a bland hero. The Reb Brown TV series doesn't merit any worthwhile mentions. And though I have not seen the Republic 1940's serials, I am told that version has Captain America using a gun instead of a shield! Sacrilege! So it is a blast to see that they got it right this time. "Captain America: The First Avenger" is a solid knockout of a movie, a first-rate superhero movie that leisurely spends time with its central protagonist and lets us get to know him.

A 90-pound weakling, Brooklyn-born Steve Rogers (Chris Evans, a splendid choice) is trying to get to enlist in the Army and help fight the good fight. His chronic ailments, including asthma, and his small build gets him a "4F" (meaning, no admittance to the rest of you). He gets a chance to re-enlist thanks to a German scientist named Dr. Erskine (Stanley Tucci) who sees potential in a super-soldier experiment. The tough, hard-shelled Col. Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones, looking more grizzled than ever) is skeptical of the kid despite Steve Rogers' demonstrations of guts and bravery. In one scene, Rogers has an exercise where he is willing to sacrifice himself to save his fellow men. All this from a Brooklyn kid who never gives up. He might have if he had to endure "Full Metal Jacket's" drill sergeant, but that is a different story.

Before the swooning women can say "nice abs," Steve Rogers is thrust into action as the super-soldier he was destined to be. First, he has to perform a service for the Army, which includes hitting an actor made up to look like Hitler in the face before a dance troupe in a patriotic attempt to sell war bonds (back when the U.S. did that sort of thing. Interestingly enough, the first comic-book issue cover of the Cap Man had him punching Adolf Hitler in the face). But when he is adorned with his true red, blue and white costume and packs some heat and throws his circular vibranium shield that can knock anyone off within a hundred yards, we are in full swing. It is the movie I've been waiting for any studio to do right for years. They have created a colorful, nostalgic kick in the pants for anyone who loves the Cap Man and 1940's iconography.

But there is more. The evil Red Skull (Hugo Weaving), aka Johann Schmidt (a Nazi commandant) is ready to destroy America with his super sonic plane and its loaded missiles headed to incinerate designated states. Surely Captain America and his newly elected team of commandos will have a few things to say about that. There is also time for love with the luscious British agent, Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell), whose crimson red lips would be enough to drive any man to a dinner date.

Director Joe Johnston capably serves this material, as he should considering twenty years ago he directed the wondrously entertaining "The Rocketeer," also a 1940's hero movie of another brand. "Captain America" is a rip-roaring, rousing comic-book movie come to life with actors who breathe life into their parts, coloring them with just enough eccentricity to make them palatable. Though Hugo Weaving drips with menace, he also hints at something more sublime - he appreciates Captain America for never quitting. I think, deep down, Red Skull knows he will have to quit before his madness consumes him, literally.

"Captain America: The First Avenger" is not as thunderously epic as "Thor" and it doesn't contain the ironic wisecracks of "Iron Man." It is more scaled-down, more down to earth, more intimate, more soulful. This is largely due to Chris Evans (who was the best thing in "Fantastic Four") who brings integrity and dignity to Captain America in spades. The movie wisely chooses not to poke fun at the period it is set in. It envelops it, contains it and brings us a world that no longer exists (and for the youth today, never knew it existed). Its also got its tongue firmly planted in its patriotic cheek, and has the level of "Indiana Jones" innocence and escapism that it needs. But don't be surprised if you get a little teary-eyed by the end, and don't be further surprised if you want to get up off the couch and join Captain America. 

Riding Out Morrison's Storm

WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE (2009)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

When I think of the leather-clad, raging soul of Jim Morrison, I think of the range of powerful soothing chords of "Riders of the Storm" (the perfect song to hear on a slow New Mexico ride to Taos), the soulful strains of "Unknown Soldier," and the expressively upbeat "L.A. Woman." Interestingly, as in Oliver Stone's hyperkinetic film bio, the new documentary, "When You're Strange" operates with these songs in the same order. Though there is not much new to glean from "When You're Strange," there are some oddities and interesting trivia (The Who opened for The Doors once) that will keep Morrison fans riveted for an hour and a half.

"When You're Strange" charts the rise of a poet who hated his father (a Navy admiral in charge of his fleet during the Gulf of Tonkin debacle) and claimed his parents were dead, to his start and eventual drop-out from NYU film school to the Venice Beach days of living on a rooftop and cavorting with Ray Manzarek, a keyboard player, whom he sang his lyrics to, to forming a band with Robby Krieger (who never used picks) on guitar and the drummer John Densmore. Jim ingests copious drugs, drinks heavily, becomes bloated and a media superstar and we get the gradual picture that it isn't about the band - it is about Jim taking the spotlight. One gets the impression that director Tom DiCillo is more critical of the Lizard King than Oliver Stone ever was.

New, spectacular footage shows a bearded Jim Morrison on the desert road - singing, laughing and screaming, observing a nearly dead dog on the road (some of these moments play like outtakes from Oliver Stone's own Doors film or "U-Turn"). But most of the film, except for some candid shots of a smiling Lizard King, is focused on the downward spiral of a man who allegedly exposed himself on stage and was more soused than the average drunk. It is deduced that such drunken rages and falling asleep on the concert stage were an act of garnering media attention since the band stopped getting any (heck, they could barely play their music during the outrage). Then Jim, deeply in love with his girlfriend, Pam, and somehow renewed in his sense of purpose, finds himself dead at the age of 27 in Paris. And it seems, perhaps, that his disapproving father finally admits his son had talent.

"When You're Strange" is sort of a distant echo of Oliver Stone's controversial film (a montage of Robert Kennedy's assassination and images of Charles Manson also figure in Stone's film) yet this film (with added narration by Johnny Depp) adds immeasurably more mystery and a measure of depth to Morrison than ever before. It is one of those "regretful" rock documentaries, the kind that makes you wonder, what if Jim had lived on past his 27th birthday. It also shows the tortured poet who chose music as his vessel of opening the doors of his perception. He wrote books of poetry but they required solace to write them. Jim needed the stage to exhibit his demons, his passions, his life - he desperately needed an audience. "When You're Strange" exemplifies that and gives us a Jim Morrison that perhaps we didn't know.

A Stepfather of dubious interest

STEPFATHER III (1992)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The worse thing than a horror movie sequel is a horror movie sequel made for TV. "Stepfather 3: Father's Day" is the latest example of turgid horror that aims for the gore thus eradicating any of the thrills and suspense that count. It reduces everything that the original "Stepfather" had to the status of a below-average slasher film.

Though I thought he was finally dead in "Part 2," Mr. Bad Daddy is back again with a new face thanks to plastic surgery, which means that Terry O'Quinn does not return for a third go-round (he was initially offered the chance to write and direct it but turned it down, alluding to the fact that he did not want to be typecast as a psycho). Instead we have Robert Wightman ("Living in Oblivion") who is the poorest replacement imaginable - how about a more fitting replacement like character actor Kurtwood Smith (remember the strict dad in "Dead Poet's Society?") Nevertheless, Bad Daddy travels to a new town and meets and falls in love with not one but two single mothers (one of them fetchingly played by Priscilla Barnes). There is also the terminally whining new kid (a computer whiz in a wheelchair) who suspects that something is askew about his new stepdad. So we have the standard body count, stepdad in a bunny suit (!), the usual "oh, they are disappointing me" looks and grimaces, and an unbelievable opening sequence set in a sullied underground plastic surgery room where stepdad refuses to be anesthetized while being operated on! Who is this guy, a gluttonous Rambo for punishment?

The movie is too silly, too overbaked and too unbelievable. Stepdad is more of a loose cannon this time, killing anyone in his path including the surgeon whom Stepdad paid for a new face! Falling for two women would seem antithetical to the O'Quinn psychopath and his core family values. And a scene that must be seen to be believed has Stepdaddy trying to get the wheelchair-bound kid to get out of his wheelchair ("Come on, you can do it") - it is a moment of shocking stupidity. Also, devotees of "Stepfather II" will notice that Stepdad was put back in the very same Puget Sound mental hospital he was in at the beginning of "II" and escapes again in "III" (mentioned only in a convenient TV broadcast)...couldn't the writers have thought of some other solution that didn't seem so recycled?

The first film was a classic suburban shocker - a movie I would compare without hesitation to Hitchcock's "Shadow of a Doubt." The second film was mostly a black comedy. This film simply trashes whatever redeeming value the first two films had. Mr. Terry O'Quinn and Mrs. Jill Schoelen, you are both missed!

I am Don Juan Triumphant!

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1989)

 Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 The 1989 version of "Phantom of the Opera" is the most uneven adaptation of the Gaston Leroux Gothic novel and perhaps the strangest. It is allegedly a love story but it is also a slasher horror picture, with a dose of Freddy Krueger mixed in with a Roger Corman Gothic-redux of "The Pit and the Pendulum." It has the right atmosphere that can give you goose pimples and a great musical score but it hardly compares to most other film versions of this oft-told tale.

Robert Englund is the composer Erik Destler, the Phantom who lives in the sewers below the London Opera House (the novel's setting was actually in Paris). Instead of a mask, he sews dead skin on his charred, rotting face every night before getting his own seat at the Opera to hear for the umpteenth time, Gounod's "Faust." The story goes that Erik sold his soul to the Devil (played by the late John Ghavan, a dwarf with an alarming, echoing voice that must have been dubbed) so that his music would become immortalized - part of the bargain dictates that no one will ever love Erik himself and so the Devil burns his face. I actually enjoy this revisionist take on Leroux's novel - Brian De Palma's electric, rock and roll version called "Phantom of the Paradise" also aimed for a Faustian subtext. I do object to the movie's bastardization of the Phantom, making him a newly supernatural character - he can materialize anywhere, he decapitates people, he hangs them with rope traps, he utters Freddy Krueger lines ("You're...suspended!"), but he does love the new opera singer in town. That would be Christine Day (Jill Schoelen), who can sing like no one's business provided she is guided by Erik himself.

The movie's bookends feature Christine in modern-day New York City, finding the lost musical notes of a forgotten opera called "Don Juan Triumphant." She is ready to perform the piece for an audition but is hit on the head by a sandbag. Then we travel back to London in the 1880's. The movie never makes it clear if Christine is having a fever dream from being hit on the noggin' or if she in fact does time travel back to the 1800's. Who needs a Delorean or H.G. Well's time machine when all you require is a sandbag? It is hinted in a line of dialogue that the Phantom had been around for centuries but a tinge more backstory would've been beneficial.

"The Phantom of the Opera" is often mesmerizing and visually stunning, especially the candlelit sewers, but its core themes of romantic love and passionate longing for music are disrupted by gratuitously gory violence and bookends that deter from its original source. A sequel was planned but never actually made, which explains the bookends that feature the return of the Phantom. Englund overacts as expected, and Schoelen is laid-back and a pleasing presence as always (her singing voice had been dubbed, which is odd since she knows how to sing but maybe opera was a little out of her range). The original novel did deal with the possibility of the Phantom finding love when he had never even been kissed, let alone loved by anyone except Christine. That would fit the long-running Broadway version that later became a 2004 Joel Schumacher flick, and the creepy classic 1925 Lon Chaney picture. This "Phantom" hints at love but it is really a grisly horror flick for the "Nightmare on Elm Street" crowd. Odd hybrid, and no falling chandelier either.

Footnote: This was the only Jill Schoelen film I saw in theaters, after becoming a fan of hers when I saw "The Stepfather." 

The Earth is an Indian Thing (An Interview with Valerie Red-Horse)

THE EARTH IS AN INDIAN THING (An Interview with Valerie Red-Horse)

By Jerry Saravia

(Note: interview is reprinted with permission from Times Beacon Record newspapers, specifically The Village Times whom I used to write for. Excerpts are from a 1998 Stony Brook Film festival article) 

I always think back to the line from Jack Kerouac's wonderful, off-balance rhythms of his iconic book, "On the Road." That line is, "the Earth is an Indian thing." Indeed it is, but you would not know it from Hollywood's treatment of Native-Americans on celluloid. There have been exceptions: Arthur Penn's powerful 1970 film "Little Big Man," for one, and the sprawling Kevin Costner western, "Dances With Wolves," which certainly brought to life Native American history and led to more films dealing with this intrinsically isolated people, sometimes told from their perspective. A few years back, "The Exiles" was a rediscovered 1960's picture that dealt with Native Americans adjusting to city life, far away from the reservations and their natural habitat.

There is also a landmark 1998 film few have heard of called "Naturally Native," the first film (at the time, aside from "The Exiles") to focus on Native American life outside of reservations. It is specifically the first film made about Native American women written, directed, produced and starring Native American women. It was written and co-directed by Valerie Red-Horse (of Cherokee-Sioux heritage) who started her own Red-Horse Native Productions, Inc., a company specializing in motion picture and television production and Native American herbal skincare and hair care products. Valerie received financing for her film through the Manshantucket Pequot tribal council in Connecticut, but she walked a rocky road before finding a financial backer. "There were the typical rejections, obstacles, and attitudes towards Native Americans," she said. "I realized then I had to go to my own people to tell a story from their perspective." The film was shot in the Los Angeles area in October and November 1997 with a total of 19 shooting days due to a modest budget, and it stars some familiar, Anglo-Saxon faces such as Max Gail (TV's "Barney Miller") and the underrrated actress Mary Kay Place, who shot her scenes in one day.

"Naturally Native" deals with three Native American sisters (Valerie Red-Horse, Irene Bedard, of Inuit heritage, and Kimberly Norris Guerrero, of Colville/Salish heritage) attempting to start their own business in cosmetics. Although they are of American Indian ancestry, they were adopted by white foster parents and, naturally, each sister has identity issues. And they must also endure obstacles to get financing for their business, as Valerie Red-Horse herself endured in trying to make this film. As Valerie explains, "Many stereotypical Native American women are shown as weak and speaking in Broken English. I want people to see this movie, feel alongside these women."

The film itself had caused people to cry at some screenings, according to Valerie, and many Native American groups called it a blessing for such a film to finally exist. I admire the picture myself and found it moving and extraordinarily introspective about the lives of these women (the film also touches on issues such as casino gambling, Native images used as sports mascots and the portrayal of Native Americans in the media). "The Exiles" is a darker picture overall, finding that these souls do not adapt to city life and resort to alcoholism. "Naturally Native" is more optimistic and just as truthful. The final shot involving the three sisters forming a union in the middle of a road will move the most jaded viewer. We need more films like this, especially about a people who are steadily being forgotten. The Native American images need to be re-casted for an entire culture that needs the education. "Naturally Native" is a wise first step.

Edgy and Androgynous: (An Interview with Eileen Dietz)

EDGY AND ANDROGYNOUS DIETZ    

(An Interview with Eileen Dietz: By Jerry Saravia)

Eileen Dietz in The Exorcist

Every time a magazine article mentions "The Exorcist" on their list of best horror flicks, there is a picture almost always of Eileen Dietz. Eileen Dietz? Yes, the actress who played the black-and-white, androgynous Pazuzu demon (Captain Howdy to some) in subliminal flashes and in certain shots as poor little Regan strapped to a bed. Dietz dribbles a little vomit here and there, smacks a doctor in the face, and is used in a fantastic superimposition of Pazuzu and Regan's dummy in close-up. If anyone has read Mark Kermode's "The Exorcist" analysis, it is Eileen Dietz who graces the book cover and not Linda Blair.

Eileen as Jillia in Planet of the Apes TV series

But "The Exorcist" is not the only film she starred in. There is a slew of other credits including the TV movie "Helter Skelter," "David Holzman's Diary," the cancelled, long-running soap "Guiding Light," "The Clonus Horror," "You Light Up My Life," the TV-series "Trapper John, M.D.," "Planet of the Apes" TV series (in one episode, she played Jillia), to name but a few. I have not even mentioned the numerous independent horror and thriller films she has appeared in, including 2010's "Freeway Killer," thanks to her agent whom she has told, "I love being in front of the camera so much that I will choose mostly any role as long as its not politically incorrect for me or involves salacious scenes."

Eileen as Family Girl in Helter Skelter

Prior to making her film debut in 1966's noirish "Teenage Gang Debs" (where she is credited as Eileen Scott) and taped shows for children with actress Jean Stapleton ("All in the Family") in Hershey, PA., Eileen Dietz had a "one-line scene" in the NBC daytime soap, "The Doctors." She later appeared in 1967's "David Holzman's Diary," a stunning mockumentary directed by Jim McBride about a filmmaker who epitomizes the phrase from Michael Powell's "Peeping Tom" - "All this filmmaking isn't healthy." Dietz plays the role of Penny, Holzman's girlfriend, who is filmed while she is sleeping in the nude. "I didn't want to do the nude scene," explains Dietz. "But I figured nobody will ever see the film." The film never got distribution despite having Dietz's nude scene featured in Life Magazine's photo spread and in the book of the film. She didn't recall if she auditioned for the role of Penny but she added, "it was a fun shoot." A recent celebration screening of the film in New York was a letdown for her since she was not invited due to the event organizers inability to locate her. 

Eileen Dietz in the photograph held by Holzman in David Holzman's Diary

Dietz did appear as Young Girl with Anthony Perkins in a 1970 production of a play (which Perkins also directed) called "Steambath," where she had another brief nude scene in a shower (the play deals with a steambath standing in for the afterlife). In addition to "The Exorcist," she became typecast as an androgynous, edgy character in everything from "Happy Days" ("I was someone on the edge with a 175 I.Q.") to a cameo as Family Girl in the terrifying TV movie "Helter Skelter," where she blurts out the film's last line, "Death is what you're going to get!" She also played a mental patient named Sarah Abbott in another long-running soap, "General Hospital." In "Guiding Light," Dietz actually went to the Bahamas to learn scuba diving for a role that lasted six months. She was so flabbergasted by the preparation for the role, especially going to the Bahamas, that all she could say was "You've got to be kidding? I am getting paid for this?"

Eileen has had some regrets. She reluctantly moved from New York to L.A. to get away from the "Exorcist" controversy. For newbies to this aspect of her life, "Exorcist" director William Friedkin (a director noted for his relentless and tough demands to accentuate reality on screen) had told the press at the time that all physical actions performed by Regan in the film were performed by Linda Blair, the film's star, including performing the demon's voice (you can actually hear the preliminary sound recordings done by Linda Blair herself in the Exorcist DVD). The truth was that Eileen Dietz performed some shots involving the possessed Regan ("Don't ever call me a double for Linda!"). The voice of the demon was attributed to the late Mercedes McCambridge, who almost received no credit and sued to get it. Eileen did not receive credit for her work in "The Exorcist."

Eileen Dietz continues to have a very active career on television and in films (and attends many horror conventions to meet her fans). She has been typecast as the androgynous, strange, edgy type, and has also played her share of demons, evil nurses, zombies, homeless women, junkies, etc. She has written a book that will be out in stores in September, 2012, titled "Exorcising My Demon: An Actress' Journey to the Exorcist and Beyond." It will focus on her life and "it reads like a novel. It is written as a fictionalized version of my life." Naturally, a chapter on Captain Howdy will be featured. Edgy, indeed.

For the fans of Eileen Dietz: She will be at the Con X as a guest to their horror, sci-fi and pop culture convention on September 14-16, 2012 in Kansas City.

Make Room for Terry O'Quinn

STEPFATHER II (1989)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I suppose a sequel was inevitable to the original, watertight, exciting, suspenseful "The Stepfather," a film that developed an audience when it premiered on cable and video. A thriller with a number after it and a subtitle that reads "Make Room For Daddy" is asking for trouble: read "exploitation." Therefore I was surprised that "Stepfather 2" does not take the low road, and tries to focus on the characters with an ironic sense of black humor that is likely to be missed by most.

When we last left off with the Stepfather, he was shot and stabbed on the chest by his stepdaughter (Jill Schoelen). He somehow survived his near-fatal wounds and had since been placed at the Puget Sound mental institution. But you can't keep a balding, intelligent family man down for too long. This man craves a family and will go to extreme lengths to get one in good old suburbia. He escapes the loony bin by posing as a guard and assumes a new identity as a psychiatrist in some remote suburb of California. He is now Dr. Gene Clifford (a name he picks up in the obit section) with his own private practice. His next-door neighbor, a realtor named Carol (Meg Foster), shares an interest in him, makes him dinner, introduces him to her skateboarding son, Todd (Jonathan Brandis), and before you know it, good old Stepdad is ready to throw the old pigskin around and take Polaroids of his new potential family. Dr. Clifford also shows the kid how to use a hammer and nails with precision (oh, and he teaches him how to whistle "Camptown Races.") Clifford's patients seem to trust him except for the mail carrier (Caroline Williams, fresh from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2") who has her suspicions from the start and opens his mail! Terror is slowly creeping in when mild-mannered Clifford loses his temper after Carol's ex-husband starts showing up.

"Stepfather 2" was directed by Jeff Burr, who helmed the atrocious "Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III" and "The Offspring." Although suspenseful at times and tension-filled, Burr does lack the visual style and sense of community in typical American suburbia as strongly evidenced in the original film. This California community seems sparsely populated and a crucial scene in a park, shot with a long lens, diffuses any sense of community (though we hear sounds of children playing, we never see them). I almost got the impression that Clifford, Carol and other characters were the only occupants of a ghost town. Another scene in a backyard party also feels like it was shot too tightly. This is a shame because we never get the sense that the Stepfather is living the American dream - marriage, kids and a house with a white picket fence in tree-lined avenues. Close-up shots of garages and junkyards don't really cut it.

Also noteworthy is how this Stepfather manages to afford renting a home by pretending to be a shrink. I recall one Newsday reviewer commenting on this fact, stating that David Janseen's character in the TV series "The Fugitive" always had to work menial jobs to support himself. After Clifford's escape from the institution, he kills a guy with lots of money and credit cards - but is that still enough? How does Clifford initiate a practice in the first place? It would have been great if we saw how he immersed himself in this town. I can buy the Stepfather as a real estate agent or an insurance salesman, but a shrink with a private practice?

There are elements that do work. Terry O'Quinn still gives a dynamite performance showing the meek-looking, all-American Everyman with an impending threat of violence, thus switching from a smile to psychotic rage in a heartbeat. He still brings a layer of sympathy for someone who has forgotten that dysfunctional families are more common than functional ones. Clifford is a man who has grown up on television sitcoms where every problem was solved in half-an-hour. When he searches for a home, he watches Bob Eubanks on "Dream House." There is a delicious bit where he tries a video dating service and finds that not one woman interests him. But a family that can't disappoint him at all is unlikely - he is behind the times to say the least. O'Quinn makes "Stepfather 2" work - he is the movie.

Meg Foster as the divorced Carol has some moments, though her alien eyes make her appear more strange than intended - she is not as homely as Shelley Hack in the original. She does have one superb line after kissing Clifford's scars - "You are the kindest man I ever met." Jonathan Brandis has the thankless role as the typical American kid who loves skateboarding. His character is practically given nothing to do, unlike Jill Schoelen's suspicious stepdaughter in the original. Only the spunky Caroline Williams has more punch as Carol's best friend, and the scene in the park where she confronts Clifford with hardcore evidence of his true identity is quite stunning.

"Stepfather 2" is a good enough sequel with lots of black humor to make up for undernourished characters. It is a purposeless movie but for those who are fans of the original, it is a welcome return for one of the more interesting psychopaths in many years.