Usual Risky Business that breaks the heart

THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (1982)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Of all the early teenybopper sex comedies that consumed the early 1980's, "The Last American Virgin" is probably one of the funniest...and one of the saddest. Not even the highly acclaimed "Risky Business" ever got this downright dirty and gritty...that is to say, to end all the fun and games with a downbeat ending. Yep, it is downbeat yet somewhat hopeful - I'll get back to that later.

Three supremely horny teenagers, Gary (Lawrence Monoson), heavyset David (Joe Rubbo) and the smooth and charming Rick (Steve Antin), are on a sexual conquest. This movie is set in the pre-AIDS era so that means these teens have unprotected sex and the worst thing that happens to them is contracting crabs! Gary is more interested in finding love as he sets his eyes on Karen (Diane Franklin), an ingenue whom he cannot stop gazing upon. Naturally, the toxic charmer Rick also has his eyes on her, presumably to deflower her and nothing more. Gary can't stop gazing and hopes to achieve intimacy.

Written and directed by Boaz Davidson (who also helmed the Israeli-set "Lemon Popsicle" of which this film is a remake of), "The Last American Virgin" may seem shocking in today's climate because of its frank nudity and explicit sexual situations - these kids are not in the same vein as "American Pie's" teens or what has followed later. I still venture to think that teenagers of any era are preoccupied with things other than sex, but that is just me. When these kids have sex, even the heavyset kid has fun, no holds barred. A lovely Spanish teacher who orders pizza (Gary works at a pizza joint) has a romp in the hay with two of the teens. The trio even get themselves a red-headed prostitute, but it is Gary whose thoughts are elsewhere. Nevertheless, before the film dives into serious territory involving abortion, there is fun to be had. The teenagers measure their penile size, dance and party hard to Devo's "Whip it" (played twice in the film) and other hits by the Police and the Gleaming Spires, lure girls to Gary's house for sex by promising cocaine (which is actually Sweet and Low) and merrily get drunk on Jack Daniels. The movie has a kick to it, you can almost dance to the film as if it was a live concert.

Among Diane Franklin fans and fans of the film, "Last American Virgin's" ending has caused a bit of a stir and a lot of consternation. I will not reveal the ending yet, suffice to say, it involves a love lost between two characters that is shocking and suitably realistic. I can say that the male teenager who faces a heartbreaking disappointment may learn from it in the future - he is only a teenager who will slowly mature. Despite the seriousness of it all, the movie has a pulse and it is helped by engaging actors and comical situations (awkwardly asking the pharmacist for medication to cure crabs, running into your crush "accidentally," peering into bathroom holes at naked girls, etc.). When the film is over, you'll remember Lawrence Monoson's gaze and gaping mouth and Diane Franklin's ever so sweet and soulful self. The movie is no groundbreaker in the "Porky's" mold or the other inferior copycats that followed, but it is far more entertaining than most other Palm Beach spring breakers. And there is that ending.