Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?

HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Sitting through "Hellraiser: Bloodline" is not a chore and a half like the last two sequels but it may still cause your ass to shift a little. "Bloodline" is actually better than I expected, and believe me when I say that my expectations were low, but it is also a confounding mess, tinkered with during post-production to such an extent that director Kevin Yagher used the pseudonym that draws pause before any movie, Alan Smithee.

The opening scenes are set in Space Station Minos...excuse me? Are we talking Pinhead in space? Yes, and in the future no less, 2127 to be precise. On board the station is Paul Merchant (Bruce Ramsay) who has a robot that holds the iconic Lament Configuration puzzle box that once opened, well, the Cenobites from Hell appear and like the use of chains piercing human flesh. The robot explodes when Pinhead (Doug Bradley) appears, and when guards enter the station and apprehend Paul, Paul tells his story through flashbacks to the 1700's about a French toymaker (also played by Ramsay) who first created the puzzle box. The box is sold to an aristocrat and is used for evil purposes that involve chains piercing flesh, well, what did you expect? A peasant girl's dead body is used to resurrect the spirit of a Cenobite named Angelique and, along with her lover (Adam Scott, his film debut), they try to stop descendants of the toymaker (the bloodline) from closing the path to Hell by means of another Lament Configuration! Pinhead also wants to turn Earth into some sort of hellscape, or something. I guess he wants to see all of humanity suffer with fatal piercings.

After a while, the movie never has a firm hand with its narrative. I never understood Angelique's motives or even Pinhead's. Bruce Ramsay fares better in 1700 period decor than in modern day or futuristic settings - playing three related characters, he expresses the same doleful reaction for each. Bradley's Pinhead is the stuff of nightmares and his cryptic lines ("Do I look like someone who cares about what God thinks?") can curdle the blood but this Cenobite is more thrilling to watch when he isn't on screen so much. It is, however, amusing to hear him say that Hell is far less amusing nowadays.

"Hellraiser: Bloodline" is watchable and a huge improvement over the last two sequels, but it is largely unremarkable. Only Mickey as the lascivious Duc de L'Isle, the aristocrat from the 1700's, brings much needed passion as an evil man who might enjoy his black magic a little too much. It is precisely that passion that could have ignited "Hellraiser: Bloodline" into something other than routine business as usual.