Han Solo and Rambo together, oh, if only

THE EXPENDABLES 3 (2014)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Sylvester Stallone has become far more interesting nowadays, thanks to his gravelly voice and his been-there-done-that-older-wiser repartee. He looks like an older lion who still has the stamina and strength to crush you, yet he can also have a good time at a bar drinking with the rest of them. Unfortunately, "The Expendables" movie series has gotten more banal with each entry and this third chapter is inexplicably a two-hour snoozer. Stallone tries to save it but his presence is not enough.

Stallone is once again Barney Ross, the mercenary who wants to kill a former Expendable-turned-psychotic-arms dealer, Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson, looking as if he wants to be home screaming at someone - perhaps his agent). The problem is that Ross's boss, an impatient CIA operative (Harrison Ford, who looks like he'd rather be piloting the Millennium Falcon), wants Stonebanks alive so that he can be tried for war crimes. A mission where Conrad, presumed dead, is initially discovered by Barney results in the near-fatal gunshots suffered by Hale Caesar (Terry Crews, always a spirited and fun actor). Ross decides to disband his older cronies for newer, fresher blood. These new recruits barely got my attention except for Ronda Rousey as a tough bouncer and mixed martial-artist - she has a tender and vicious side that makes her a perfect new Expendable. However, you start to miss the reliable pros of 80's and 90's action pic fame like Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Harrison Ford - they are AWOL for almost 60 percent of the film.

"Expendables 3" is not as cartoonishly empty as the second film but it is nowhere near as decent as the first film. In the end, the movie is about nothing more than amassing a huge body count and the chance to hear Harrison Ford say the word "fuck." I am all for the small pleasures in life but with such an extraordinary cast that can bring you goosebumps when you hear all their names together, the end result is nothing but numbing monotony.