JINGLE ALL THE WAY (1996)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(Originally viewed in 1996)
Arnold plays Howard Langston, the workaholic dad who is never around when his son or his pretty wife (Rita Wilson) need him. His son's Christmas wish is to get every kid's favorite action toy figure, Turbo Man. Problem is that every parent wants to get it including a hysterically less-than-amusing Sinbad, who plays a postal worker dad. Please, no gone postal jokes - Arnie is already there.
"Jingle All the Way" is an uncomfortable mix of "Toy Story," "Hook" and arguably Arnie's worst picture, "The Last Action Hero." Instead of the screenplay sticking with the idea of toying with today's obsessive consumerism, "Jingle All the Way" attempts to cajoles us with anything but. There are relentless fistfights, lots of broken glass, eager shoppers shoving and pushing each other, a group of Santa con men led by Jim Belushi, and even a desperate reindeer - this is prime comedy material? There is so much cartoon violence that it becomes nauseating, including a jarring ending with Arnie wearing the Turbo Man outfit to please his kid. Arnie tries to go the route of sentimentality but it is more than heavy-handed - it is darn right delivered with a bulldozer. Funny how Schwarzenegger used to make movies - give us a violent action movie early in the year, then cajole us with some kinder Arnie tale near Christmas as if to redeem his bloodbath trespasses. Early in 1996, he gave us a reasonably entertaining action picture, "Eraser." "Jingle All the Way" will make one yearn to watch "Eraser" again.
The whole cast of "Jingle All the Way" is wasted except for Phil Hartman as the irksome neighbor who rises above this tripe with unblemished wit and grace. If Hartman had played the absentee dad, then it might have developed into a minor Christmas comedy classic, without a doubt. As it stands, Arnie merely jingles all the way to the bank on this one.
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