CAVEMAN (1981)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
My wife pointed out that the October 9th title seen in the ludicrous and overtly silly "Caveman" is actually John Lennon's birthday. Since "Caveman" stars Ringo Starr as a prehistoric, lecherous brute then it is no surprise that the title figures in the "plot." There is also Barbara Bach as a prehistoric beauty whom Starr has lustful thoughts brewing about - this is the film where they first met and married several months later. Thankfully such trivia doesn't overwhelm the crude humor and absurd shenanigans of "Caveman" - either you laugh or you won't. I often did.
"Caveman" has a little of everything to keep one amused, including being set, as indicated by another title, "one zillion years ago"; B.C. of course. Ringo Starr already looks like some wild-eyed naughty child as Atouk who wants Bach's Lana for himself, away from the humongous Tonda (John Matuszak, former football player for the Oakland Raiders), her boyfriend who towers over everybody. Meanwhile, there is Dennis Quaid as Lar, Atouk's friend, who ends up in the Ice Age tormented by what looks like the Abominable Snowman (a great visual gag sees the two of them frozen while Lar is running from the beast). Then there are two different dinosaurs from the Harryhausen school of stop-motion, both creatures torment the men and try to eat them. Avery Schreiber also appears though he looks out of place here - on the other hand, so does everybody else.
"Caveman" has plenty of funny scenes and inspired gags, though it could've fully exploited its premise. For one, these prehistoric men don't look like prehistoric men or Cro-Magnon, more like boorish drunks who stayed up way past 3 am before succumbing to a hangover. Some gags are from the immature pre-school variety at best, including seeing mounds of fecal matter referred to by the men as "caca" and eventually as "shit" (pretty sure I also heard some fart noises as well). That may be the central notion that the prehistoric men were dumb and unsophisticated (the latter naturally) yet the film lifts little to no inspiration from its most obvious source, the Dawn of Man section of "2001: A Space Odyssey." What if they found a monolith that was shaped like a phallus and then discovered the pleasures of sex? The scene where Atouk tries to force himself on a sleeping Lana brings up memories of "Animal House," not necessarily anything that took place in B.C. More comedic bits could've been filtered around Evan Kim as another caveman who seems to be more advanced in language and communication. The "2001" comparison is apt for parody and clearly the filmmakers have Kubrick on their minds when featuring variable bits of the William Tell overture ("A Clockwork Orange") or the discovery of using fire as torches to ward off the enemy and beat them.
"Caveman" doesn't always sustain its comedic rhythm but I did laugh enough during its 90-minute run. Seeing Ringo amuse himself with his joy of performing grunts and discovering how to erect his back is funny - he's in on the joke and that keeps things amusing. Seeing Dennis Quaid slip on ice as he runs from the Snow Monster is hysterical. Watching Matuszak trying to master the art of throwing a rock is comic absurdity at its best. Everyone is on some sort of comedic high, even the googly-eyed stop-motion dinosaurs.
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