Wednesday, March 18, 2026

Live your life

 ALL OF US STRANGERS (2023)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

If a man can't admit to being gay to his parents, coming out of the closet as it were, then can he admit it to himself? Well, Adam (Andrew Scott) knows he is gay and accepts it. His parents might not accept it or have trouble with his sexual orientation. As the film rolls with this oft-told tale of a single gay man coming to grips with his family possibly disowning him, my heart sank a little. I have seen many films about gay men and women who have had no trouble letting others know - think how in the 1990's, several independent films like "Go Fish" or "The Living End" explored LGBTQ lives without having to exploit the theme of "coming out." "All of Us Strangers" thankfully turns into some sort of quasi-metaphysical, dreamy and melancholic exploration of a man seeking solace from his parents. Without them, he can't move forward.

Adam is a 40-something TV/film writer living in a high-rise London apartment with only one other neighbor in the building. His life seems mundane as he watches TV, writes in his computer about his family that may or may not turn into a green-lit script, sleeps a lot and almost never leave his digs unless there is a fire drill. Adam's life seems empty, almost unrewarding. Never fear the excessive isolation when his neighbor, Harry (Paul Mescal), arrives with liquor at Adam's apartment. Adam declines having Harry as a guest in his own home but then Adams warms up to Harry when they quickly develop a hot and heavy relationship - Harry is even able to bring Adam to a noisy dance club.

Adam is also confronting the realities of his lost family. His parents died in a car crash thirty years earlier and all that remains are the ghosts. Jamie Bell is Adam's father, who loves listening to Ink Spots records, and Claire Foy (in the film's most remarkable and nuanced performance) is Adam's loving mother. When she inquires her son if he has a girlfriend, his response is to come out of the closet. The nagging issue with the mother is that she is thinking in a 1990's lens about gays before they became accepted in the 2020's. She is uncertain about the news yet she also has an unconditional love for Adam. So does the father.

"All of Us Strangers" is often a breezy and hallucinatory film with no full disclosure of what is real or mere hallucinations. The family discussions that Adam and his ghostly parents have together is often reminiscent of Ingmar Bergman's acute merging of reality and fantasy. Adam's love for his parents hasn't withered and, though they died when he was 12, he can't let them go so he merely sees as them living in the same Croydon home he grew up in.Writer-director Andrew Haigh invests wisely on the emotional toll it takes for Adam to come to grips with some form of reality - to be able to move on to that plateau called life. Though I wished there was a deeper connection between Adam and Harry that took place on that plateau, "All of Us Strangers" is a very moving, sad and practically unforgettable tale of a lonely man. What started off as a potential cliche turns into a dramatic tour-de-force for all involved. This film is to be treasured. 

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