Rated D for Dumb

ALPHABET CITY (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Alphabet City" is a great-looking failure. It is an ostensibly gritty crime picture with flashy neon, bright street lamps, and bright and shiny ambulances - even the cavernous drug-dealing dwellings look inviting. It is a glossy crime movie and if only it were made with someone who had a tenth of Michael Mann or Mike Figgis's talent. The director here is Amos Poe, who can't write convincing dialogue or have much ability to direct actors.

Johnny (Vincent Spano) is the resident drug dealer of Alphabet City, a section of New York City that is divided up by Avenues A, B, C and so on. His drug-dealing begins early evening and presumably lasts the whole night. Johnny wears a whole leather get-up that looked cheesy even in the 1980's. His wife (Kate Vernon, her film debut) works on her paintings all night and raises their baby in a gigantic loft.

Bad news has arrived in Johnny's life when his boss tells him to torch an apartment building. The problem is that Johnny's little sister (Jami Gertz), an escort in the making, and his oblivious mother (Zohra Lampert) are living in that building! Meanwhile, Johnny spends the rest of the night collecting money from lowlifes and has to contend with a young kid who wants Johnny's way of life. Worthwhile mention is Michael Winslow (the motormouth sound-effects man from the "Police Academy" series) as a drug dealer who mimics the sound of police sirens!

There is one scene that works in "Alphabet City." Johnny speeds down the New York streets without looking at the road ahead to intimidate a hotshot kid who idolizes his lifestyle. Beyond that, "Alphabet City" is wayward and laughable, and the limited screenplay leaves out a lot of potential with Johnny's family, especially his sister. It is a shallow independent film with not one honest bone in its narrative body.