GEEK MAGGOT BINGO (1983) - A.K.A. The Freak From Suckweasel Mountain
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
Okay, this is one of those curios that you may or may not have heard of
before. I am in the minority. A friend of mine lent me his copy from a video
store called "Twonky's" in New Jersey, Somerset County to be precise. He
called this "bad art" yet worthwile if you love art, period. Whatever the
heck that means. Oh, yes, the ludicrous production design reminded him of
"Cabinet of Dr. Caligari." I didn't know whether to laugh or cringe.
"Geek Maggot Bingo" is so rotten and devoid of anything remotely artistic or
fun, even on a "movie-movie" level, that you'll wish I never even bothered
writing this review to
begin with. There's TV horror host John Zacherle
hosting this film, badly, and nodding off while watching it, as was I. There
are
cardboard sets that look like they have been designed in the
basement that would make the late Ed Wood turn in his grave at the sight of them. A
terrible monster creation that makes "Robot Monster" look like the most
inventively designed creature in ages. A vampire queen named Scumbalina that
makes me wish Vampira did come back and host horror-thons again - she should
have sued
this actress for doing such a horrible imitation! Dozens of
laughless one-liners and in-jokes starting with Mr. Frankenberry (Ha!) and
his assistant,
Gicko, pronounced Gekko! A cowboy crooner who is almost used
for experiments by the good Doctor. Two bimbos on hand for sexual dallying,
although I may have miscounted by one. Are you still reading this?
The production is so badly patched-together and edited that I wouldn't call it anything less than grade F gutter
trash. Nick Zedd, the thoughtless don of "The Cinema of Transgression," directed this, yet even
Allan Smithee could have done a more efficient job. Come to think of it, Smithee would've been
too proud to let his pseudonym be used on this junk. Bad art? No! Call it bad trash.
NOTE: For truly good bad movies of another kind, check out the hilarious Ed
Wood classics (especially "Glen or Glenda!"), or the cult classic "Reefer
Madness." Not only will you have a better time, you'll find they are about
something, too.
