MOTEL HELL (1980)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
I am always up for a wicked black comedy about cannibalism but "Motel Hell" is not my cup of tea. The film is thankfully not gory or over-the-top, but the humor is so shallow and uninspired that it is likely to cause more groans than chuckles.
Rory Calhoun, the former Western cowboy star of yesteryear, is Farmer Vincent, the owner of a motel and acres of farm land. He is also legendary for producing meat with a distinctive taste (and keeps free beef jerky in his motel lobby). His motto is: "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters." But this is no ordinary meat from cows or other animals, they are from humans! Vincent's tactics include planting bear claw traps in the middle of a road when he can trap an incoming vehicle, thus the vehicle can lose control and crash into a wooded area (the film seems to assume that no car ever comes through this road except at night. This also means that Vincent is something of a psychic since he can smell when a vehicle is coming). Afterwards, Vincent gasses the victims, removes their vocal chords, and keeps them buried up to their necks, feeding them until they are ripe for butchering. Eventually, he strangles them and then smokes them, thus making his famous tender meats with no preservatives. Mr. Vincent does not work alone. His plumpish sister (the late Nancy Parsons) assists in smoking out humans for high-quality beef.
I must say I cringed throughout "Motel Hell" but not because of the unsavory subject matter. Frankly, I think I can stomach a gross horror comedy but nothing in "Motel Hell" is fiendishly funny or clever. For example, the young female victim that Frank saves from one of his deliberate accidents grows to like him enough to marry him! Meanwhile, Frank's sister attempts to kill the poor, naive girl. By the end of the film, we see Frank inexplicably wearing a pig mask! And how can one small town only have one sheriff!
Nothing that transpires aims to satirize the genre or poke fun at it. Rory Calhoun is easily the best thing in the film and does what he can to maintain our interest. Still, when Vincent's motto is the only witty idea in the entire movie, you know you're in trouble (I could have lived without the S & M couple). I like my horror served straight up, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"-style.
