Patrolling through Police Academy streets

NIGHT PATROL (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Night Patrol" is a disposable "Police Academy" clone, short on cleverness and long on vulgar, plainly brain-dead jokes that you see coming a half mile away. Clearly the makers of this so-called "film" watched a lot of the forgotten "Police Squad" TV episodes and possibly indulged in the Zucker Bros. own classic "Airplane" for starters. But whereas the Zucker Bros. found their footing by actually writing jokes and imposing several, clever background gags, not to mention their dependence on their acute knowledge of film history, the makers of this film amp up the gross-out factor and think that farts equals tickling the funny bone. Not quite.

A vastly inept police officer named Melvin (Murray Langston) is promoted to night patrol with an older partner (Pat Paulsen) who has sex with every young woman he comes in contact with. The truth is Melvin is moonlighting as the Unknown Comic (a character Langston originated on the "Gong Show"), an act where he wears a paper bag over his head so that no one knows his identity. This works for the first few minutes but, after a while, even his stale jokes can be seen coming from miles and miles. Throw in sweet Linda Blair as an officer who loves Melvin, Bill Barty as a hypocritical, angry police captain who is consistently farting, a terrific Jaye P. Morgan as a talent scout, a cringe-inducing and unfunny bit involving blackface (it shameless steals a bit from "Silver Streak" though that film was funnier in context), a little Sergio Leone homage which includes a cop performing the musical score with a guitar (that made me smile) and Pat Morita as some scared rape victim speaking with a young girl's voice (not so funny). The cockfighting bit is obvious before we actually see it (let's say it has nothing to do with actual birds).

"Night Patrol" is a relic of its time, instantly forgettable and funny only in short spurts. Sort of fun to see Andrew "Dice" Clay (billed here as Andy Clay) as a comic trying to get Jaye P. Morgan's attention, but this comedy's few pleasures are outweighed by moments of laughless stupidity. "Night Patrol" might make a decent Saturday night rental with your partner or spousal equivalent because you'll spend more time talking to each other than paying attention to the film.