This reboot is pure kryptonite

SUPERMAN RETURNS (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 (Viewed on June 30th, 2006)

The late Christopher Reeve captured the essence of Superman and, more importantly, the essence of Clark Kent. Reeve played the two sides of the same coin - the mild-mannered reporter who was also the superhuman, red-caped, red-booted Superman. Suffice to say, it would be hard for anyone to top Reeve's performance because he encapsulated the man and the myth in all its glory. It was such a good performance that Reeve became typecast. Off-screen he became a different kind of hero after the horrible accident that left him paralyzed. Tough standards to live up to and newcomer Brandon Routh steps in those red boots and blue tights and comes close in "Superman Returns," but something is amiss. In fact, something is amiss with the whole movie.

This Superman film is not a reimagining of the beloved comic-book hero, like last year's invigorating, darkly humorous "Batman Begins," but rather goes full-speed ahead and pretends that the awful number 3 and so-so number 4 of Chris Reeve's series never existed. This is a direct sequel to "Superman II," taking place five years after that film's events. Superman (Brandon Routh) has been MIA as he has been investigating the remains of his destroyed planet Krypton. Apparently, shards of that distant planet have landed on planet Earth and the Museum of Natural History exhibits one of those shards. Savvy, evil Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) wants a shard or two of Kryptonite since it can destroy Superman, his long-time nemesis (of course, unless you have amnesia, you'll recall this was also the plot of the original "Superman"). Lex can also use Superman's earthbound home, the Fortress of Solitude, to incur his own fortress by decimating America and creating his own land that will be profitable to foreign investors. That's right, Superman fans, those shiny crystals can create lands as far the eye can see (actually, they will be undesirable rock formations but never mind). Considering how much America is hated nowadays, the notorious Lex Luthor may be onto something.

But guess what has happened in five years. Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) is married and has a son. Clark Kent shows up at the office and has his old job back, thanks to Perry White (played by Frank Langella), though he faces stiff competition from Perry's son, Richard (James Marsden), who is incidentally married to Lois. Jimmy Olson is still around, taking pictures at whim of everything in sight. Still, he faces mildly stiff competition from kids with those pesky cell phones that take far better snapshots.

Now notice how little I have said about Brandon Routh or Kate Bosworth in their respective roles. The makers of this movie have forgotten some cardinal rules, which can be applied to many of today's blockbusters. Any movie, including a Superman movie, that is filled with special-effects needs something more, something that can't be special-effected. It needs attitude, personality - the quirks that we all face with in our own lives. Those elements were brought to life in the first two "Superman" films by Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder, the latter incidentally the best Lois Lane to ever walk this planet. Brandon Routh has the look but not the tone, and certainly not the personality. As Superman, he seems too iconic and placid to really strike a nerve (at one point, he spreads his arms in Christ-like fashion). In fact, old Supe baby had more dialogue in the regrettably uncinematic "Superman IV: The Quest For Peace" than in this movie. He can fly, he has determination, he is super indeed, but he is a taciturn man with no inner life - a blank automaton for the Internet and cell phone age that can be downloaded and compressed into thin air.
As for Kate Bosworth, bless her heart for trying but she is completely miscast. Again, no real personality and her brown curly hair is a gross injustice for a blonde (she seemed more alive on a recent "Tonight Show" spot than here).

Kevin Spacey is superbly evil as Lex yet he has so few scenes, and his ultimate plot to decimate America is the most foolish idea that this character has ever had (it seems he has the brains of Otis, his goofy partner from eons ago). And the Parker Posey of the 90's is gone - here, she plays Lex's girlfriend but has no spunk or attitude either. A spunk-less Parker Posey?

Directed by Bryan Singer, "Superman Returns" has some whiz-bang moments of awe, including Superman saving a burning plane before it crash-lands on a baseball stadium, a slow-motion shot of a bullet hitting Supe's eyeball and, well, the flying scenes are fantastic but then again, we have seen lots of flying scenes since Supe's last incarnation in 1987. But the movie is drab, indifferent, dreary and far too long (and has a scene with a poodle that will make many cringe as to its existence in this movie). This sequel has none of the verve or spice of the early Superman films, nor the excitement of even Bryan Singer's own "X-Men" movies. Christopher Reeve made us care for Superman and Clark Kent, a superhuman who wanted to be human. He had his own individual quirks, and so did Kidder's Lois. I am now in the middle of reading "It's Superman" by Tom De Haven, and it has those elements down pat. In this movie, the humanity has been peeled from the Man of Steel.