COMMANDO (1985)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
Arnold Schwarzenegger had an arsenal of action flicks during the 1980's but none have been nearly as comical or as exciting as "Commando." It is so over-the-top and so testosteronian that it'll give you a minor headache, but it is still damn enjoyable.. Schwarzenegger is John Matrix, a retired commando living with his young daughter (a very young Alyssa Milano) in the mountainous region of California. Apparently, someone is offing John's fellow peers and his own boss (James Olson) reminds him that his life is in danger (interesting bit of dialogue indicates that it could be Arabs or some other terrorist organization). It turns out that John's former soldier from his own elite, Bennett (Vernon Wells), along with a Latin American ex-dictator who wants his job back, hire John to kill the resident dictator. If John does not comply, his precious daughter will be killed. What do you think a musclebound Schwarzenegger will do?
For implausibilities and a complete lack of logic, "Commando" pretty much takes the cake. When John drives a pick-up truck down rolling hills, he will not get much more than a little cut on his forehead. When he exits a plane from the landing gear, he falls a good thirty to forty feet onto a wet marsh (By the way, flight attendants are truly serious about passengers sitting in their seats during takeoff)! Mall security is not very good at apprehending a hulk like John! It is easy for John to tear out a phone booth or swing across an entire mall with ticker tape! Crashing into a telephone pole will not send you flying through the air, regardless of whether you're wearing a seatbelt or not! But what really is amazing is not so much that John single-handedly kills over one hundred armed soldiers with machine guns, bazookas and machetes, but that he barely eats or takes a piss for the almost 72 hour search for his little girl! And almost every action film during this time period (including "Red Heat") has a scene where someone is thrown through a door into a room where a couple is having sex!
"Commando" is superior to "Rambo" only because it is more fun with more intense action. Schwarzenegger makes an appealing hero, or superhero considering the stunts (like jumping from a two-story villa and landing with your two feet in place, without tipping over). The villains are appropriately menacing, though one wishes there was more of Bill Duke as an icy Green Beret or Vernon Wells as a mean soldier with potentially homosexual tendencies. Alyssa Milano is fine, but it is Rae Dawn Chong as a flight attendant who inadvertently gets involved who elevates the proceedings with her wry humor and commentary on the action ("You guys eat too much red meat!"). In order to prove her worth, she even gets to fire a bazooka.
"Commando" is not Arnie's best but it is so silly and implausible that it kind of raises its own status as one of the more engaging action pictures of the 1980's. I'd rate it higher than "Raw Deal" or "Predator" or even "Red Heat."
"Commando" is not Arnie's best but it is so silly and implausible that it kind of raises its own status as one of the more engaging action pictures of the 1980's. I'd rate it higher than "Raw Deal" or "Predator" or even "Red Heat."
