Endless, pseudo-spiritual journey

THE DARJEELING LIMITED (2007)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I don't know how this could happen but I suppose every director has their bad days. It is a shame to report that "The Darjeeling Limited," though exquisitely made, is a mildly repetitious, uneven pseudo-spiritual journey that never quite finds its footing. It is a major, endless chore to sit through.

Three brothers, Francis, Jack, Peter (Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody), are traveling on the Darjeeling Limited, a train headed to India. There, they hope to find spiritual enlightenment and some peace of mind. Let's hope so since Francis had been in a bad accident and is covered with bandages, and Peter has found out that his wife is pregnant.

Things go awry from the start. No smoking is allowed on this train, so they keep their windows open. Peter has the bright idea to buy a deadly, poisonous snake and bring it on board the train, only to lose the snake! Rita (Amara Karan), one of the stewardesses, has a brief romp in the hay with Jack, who is going through a bad relationship of his own. Most of the time we hear them squabbling and bickering but only in that Wes Anderson offbeat manner where every word is uttered with a low-keyed whisper. It is a terrific technique and one of the reasons why I enjoy Wes Anderson's films.

Unfortunately, when the three brothers arrive in India, the movie sinks fast and becomes something of a bore. The Darjeeling Limited footage is so funny and so deadpan that it feels like vintage Anderson. But this trip to India involves a small tragedy and there is a linkage to the funeral of the brothers' father that is awkward and offputting. The brothers eventually meet their mother (Anjelica Huston, always a delight to watch) but, by then, this movie becomes soporific and monotonous. The brothers sit by the fire, do some spiritual dancing for extremely long stretches of film time and essentially bicker and argue, only the offbeat nature is suddenly gone. There is nothing tangible to hang onto and the characters, who were lively and animated at first, become insufferable and unendurable. And director Anderson's constant camera whip-pans, Francis endless questioning of why each of his brothers are using the phone, the importance of an expensive belt that keeps switching from one set of pants to the other and other ad infinitum gags almost made me gag and give up on the movie.

I have loved all of Wes Anderson's films, and I felt the approach between black comedy and tragedy was sublimely handled in "The Royal Tenenbaums," his best film. "Darjeeling Limited" opts for something similar in its structure but it fails to match the upbeat first half of the movie. I suspect that Wes Anderson is tone deaf on this one.

Wes Anderson's blast-off debut

BOTTLE ROCKET (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(originally reviewed in 1997)

How many more movies about Generation X-er's who embark on a life of crime by becoming bank robbers do we need to see? This is a tale told by many, signifying very little. "Bottle Rocket" could have been the same kind of movie but it has a warmth and an offbeat sense of humor (reminiscent of "The Brothers McMullen") that makes it a cut above the rest.

The film stars Owen C. Wilson as Dignan, a young brash man with a blonde crewcut who believes the only way to make an honest living is by robbing banks. He tries to form a team with the help of Anthony (Luke Wilson), who just got released from a mental hospital, and a greasy-haired rich kid named Bob Mapplethorpe (Robert Musgrave) who will drive the getaway car because he's the only one who drives. Together this trio successfully rob a department store and celebrate...by going to a cheap motel.

Money is still a little tight, and tension starts to mount. Anthony falls in love with a Spanish motel housekeeper (Lumi Cavazos, whom you might recognize from "Like Water for Chocolate"), and worrisome Bob is concerned over his brother's arrest so he splits with the car leaving the others stranded. Dignan and Anthony go their separate ways until Dignan gets the bright idea of joining a gang of thieves, led by the crime kingpin, Mr. Henry (James Caan). The threesome pair up again for yet another heist.

"Bottle Rocket" could be just another movie about troubled twentysomethings who find that crime doesn't pay, but it is far more ambitious than that. There is a certain genial tone delivered by the quirky dialogue that makes it original and clever. The performances help tremendously. Owen C. Wilson is sharp and sincere in his film debut as the naive Dignan who plans out the next fifty years of his life and his small group of thieves - he reminds me of a younger, less buffoonish Dennis Hopper. Luke Wilson plays his role fairly straight as a typically lackadaisical Generation X-er who finds himself in love with the pretty housekeeper - Wilson and the charming Cavazos have sparkling chemistry. Robert Musgrave is engagingly frustrating as Bob. He has a lot of terrific moments where he fiddles with a gun during the planning of a robbery, and one wonderful scene where he talks about his brother's troubles. James Caan seems to be enjoying himself for the first time in a while - I only wish there was more of him. Also noteworthy is Andrew Wilson (Owen and Luke's sibling) as Bob's older, brutish brother.

"Bottle Rocket" is not a great film but it is a fresher, funnier film than "The Brothers McMullen." Thanks to director Wes Anderson and co-writer Owen Wilson, the writing is crisp and involving, and the characters are vivid and true. I must confess that the first time I saw "Bottle Rocket," I was underwhelmed and didn't know what to make of it. The second viewing, I was overjoyed and entertained. It is a first-rate sleeper and a hell of a start for everyone involved.

Audrey Hepburn is giving me a haircut

ALWAYS (1989)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Cutesy is the name of the game for Steven Spielberg's "Always," an entertaining yet highly innocuous comedy-drama. Though it is a remake of "A Guy Named Joe," which starred Spencer Tracy, it aims to be old-fashioned in every sense of the word though it retains a modern setting and the loud, whiz-bang special-effects of the typical Spielman production. It is hardly a shameful remake, but it is yet another reason why remakes are not always a necessity.

Richard Dreyfuss plays Pete, a daredevil pilot whose job is to put out fires in the Pacific Northwest. His own best pal, Al (John Goodman), is another pilot who is not as daring as Pete. They both joke and bicker in the air and on the land. Pete's girlfriend, Dorinda (Holly Hunter), is the tough, charming forest service air traffic controller. She can't stand the fact that Pete puts out fires when he could easily crash into those humongous trees or lose fuel. Anything can go wrong as proven in the opening sequence where Pete runs out of fuel and has to maneuver the plane to swoosh above the trees and get to the airstrip safely. Dorinda can't stand it any longer - she wants him to teach rather than fly. A tragedy does strike Pete early in the film, as he suddenly finds himself in what appears to be the Garden of Eden with the late Audrey Hepburn as an angel giving him a haircut!

"Always" follows the original model of "A Guy Named Joe" as Pete tries to help a dumb, husky, would-be pilot named Ted (Brad Johnson) become a formidable force in the forest fires scene. Ted has his problems yet he becomes a quick learner, and slowly starts to fall for Dorinda. This was not part of the bargain and we have many scenes where Pete tells Ted, "Hey! That's my girl pal!" Amazing that only a year later, a similar tale called "Ghost" handled such scenes with more dramatic sincerity. "Always" just seems false by comparison.

I saw "Always" in a packed theatre in 1989. Most of the audience responded to it as if it was a comedy. There are a lot of big laughs involving Al, especially a supremely funny scene where he gets dumped with chemicals by Ted on a practice session. Younger patrons couldn't stand the scenes where Pete endlessly talks to Dorinda and walked out. But there are a lot of small, precious moments like a utensil bent wildly out of shape by Dorinda while waiting for Pete to arrive; the mimicking of Warner Brothers cartoon characters by Al and Pete; Pete losing his ability to whistle when he finds himself without fuel; Roberts Blossom as some hermit who can hear Pete and mimics the engine noise of a plane; Ted mimicking John Wayne; and a priceless scene involving Marg Helgenberger (now well-known for TV's "C.S.I") who is attracted to Ted. Lo and behold, we also have an homage to Clint Eastwood's "Bird" with Keith David as another pilot - the homage figures in him laughing in one scene leading to him laughing at an airbase bar in the next scene (a nice bit of continuity).

Ultimately, "Always" is hardly exigent material. Spielberg and screenwriter Jerry Belson adopt a modern setting to an old-fashioned story of wartime morals, values and sheer whimsy (the original film was set during World War II). So we have 1980's characters speaking mostly in a 1940's tongue. In fact, Brad Johnson's Ted looks exactly like somebody straight out of a 1940's pulp serial with his bomber jacket and sunglasses (he would have been at home in the forgotten TV series "Tales of the Gold Monkey"). Pete and Al's antics may not accurately reflect real-life pilots who fight forest fires, but then again maybe Spielberg is not opting for any kind of reality - only the reality of his youth when he first saw "A Guy Named Joe." Yes, it is a fantasy but it acts as if people in the 1980's are still living in the 1940's.

Of the whole cast, only Holly Hunter is in her element as the nervy, harsh though sweet Dorinda who mourns Pete. I believed every moment Hunter was on screen because she plays a real person with three dimensions - she steals the movie beautifully. I would have liked more scenes involving Marg Helgenberger - a stunning presence on screen who proves even more charismatic. Heck, I might have replaced the overbearing John Goodman with Keith David, but only in a better world.

"Always" has enough to recommend with reservations. There are spectacular forest fires, a dance sequence underscored by "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" and there is the grand Audrey Hepburn in her last role as an angel of wisdom. Dreyfuss delivers enough laughs and his trademark quicksilver charm to get by in a largely unrealistic role. I just simply wish Spielberg really created an original story, something more imaginative and daring than to revisit the innocence of the past. I was beginning to see such a movie involving Helgenberger and Keith David where risks and imagination would have led to an entirely different movie.

Love at first bite with Langella

DRACULA (1979)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

When I first saw "Dracula" in a theater in 1979, I was taken by the moody atmosphere and the building tension. It wasn't until Lucy appeared with bloodshot eyes that I got scared and had to be taken out of the theater by my father. Since then, I finally had seen it in its entirety a few times. John Badham's version of the oft-told tale is elegant and frightening, far surpassing any version since (especially Coppola's overblown, flashy and rather creepy epic overall).

Frank Langella plays the Count with a handsome veneer and impressive charm (at least he can charm the young ladies). This Count doesn't exhibit ratlike, monstrous features nor does he have bloodshot, piercing eyes like Christopher Lee or Bela Lugosi. He is smooth and refined with eyes that slightly fluctuate, though I'd never dare say he is obviously menacing. This is an interesting interpretation of the most filmed cinematic vampire since Lugosi and Max Schreck's memorable performances 50 years earlier. In fact, I do not think Langella bared any fangs either except for one shot.

W.D. Richter's screenplay varies greatly from Bram Stoker's text. For one, the story begins at sea with Dracula on board the schooner, the Demeter, that arrives in Whitby. There he is discovered wearing a fur coat by Mina Van Helsing (Jan Francis), which may be strange to Stoker fans since Van Helsing did not have a daughter in the novel. Also, we are denied the usual meeting between Jonathan Harker and Dracula over the Carfax Abbey property in Transylvania (or maybe this is a good thing). When Mina gets bitten by good old Drac, her father, Van Helsing (Laurence Olivier), decides he wants to exact revenge against the Count. In the novel, Van Helsing merely decides to help kill Dracula based on his knowledge of vampires. Also noteworthy is the time placement of the story since it doesn't seem to be the 19th century anymore considering we see an antique car! And let's not forget that sunlight does not kill Dracula in the novel either - it merely makes him powerless during the day (at least we get a hint of that when Drac walks around his castle in daylight hours without any rays of light hitting him). That sunlight could kill a vampire is ultimately an invention of F.W. Murnau's "Nosferatu" in 1922, not Stoker's. Another odd image is seeing Dracula riding a horse on a foggy day, which means it may be early evening!

Still, this is one of the most fascinating of the "Dracula" adaptations I've seen. My favorite will always be a toss-up between the original "Nosferatu" and its remake by Werner Herzog, the most emotional of all Dracula stories. This film is not a standard horror film, though there are some horrific moments. It plays up the notion that Dracula is a sensual, smoldering, sexual creature rather than an animal with no soul. In that respect, Frank Langella (who played the role on stage) plays it up to the hilt and delivers - using his body language and his fluid lines with the mark of a real actor. He is a tall, charismatic and towering presence and brings Dracula alive with more relish and attitude than most others who have attempted the role.

Other actors do not fare as well. Donald Pleasance as Dr. Jack Seward does the best he can - I don't think he ever gave a bad performance. Laurence Olivier seems to be sleepwalking through his role as Professor Van Helsing and his confrontations with Drac are less than thrilling - he is no Edward Van Sloan. And Trevor Eve seems more suited to the cast of "The Shooting Party" than a character like Jonathan Harker. He is so bland, pale and lifeless that I swore he might be a vampire himself.

On the plus side, Kate Nelligan is a remarkably alive Lucy Seward. She sparkles in every scene and has an aura of something both romantic and mysterious about her. She is also compatible with Langella and their love scenes are dazzling. Jan Francis is a convincing Mina and seems to really come from another era. Her scary scene as a vampire (the reason I walked out of the movie the first time) is startling and unnerving, miles ahead of the pretensions of Coppola's version.

"Dracula" is not a great movie but it is romantic, lush, mysterious and beautiful (the colors are drained to such an extent that it appears to be a black-and-white film). A witty script by W.D. Richter and imaginative direction by John Badham rises this "Dracula" above most others.

You don't want to play Helicopter Hamburger?

DON'T LET THE RIVERBEAST GET YOU! (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Those clever guys keep milking their New Hampshire digs for all they are worth, and boy is it delicious milk! "Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You!" is a fun-filled, deliberately tasteful comical horror film that never takes itself too seriously and gently pokes you, nudging you to believe this is all some sort of jokey picture.

The best tutor that Rivertown has ever seen, Neil Stuart (Matt Farley), has just come back to town after being derided as an RB! He claimed a monster lived in the woods called the Riverbeast. A muckracking reporter, Sparky Watts (Kyle Kochan), wrote about Neil's claims as outlandish and sheer rubbish, earning Neil the nickname of RB. He also lost the woman of his dreams,  Emmaline (Elizabeth M. Peterson), who is marrying another guy with a son who loves to play "Helicopter Hamburger." There is one person who believes Neil and his claims of having spotted the mythical Riverbeast, Allie (Sharon Scalzo), the student from finishing school whom Neil is tutoring.

"Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You!" has a little bit of everything. It's got picnic babes, babes wearing towels, babes dancing on the street corner to a guy playing guitar, the Riverbeast monster who looks likes a modern-day Gill Man, cat litter as a plot device, a little rockabilly, a harmonica-playing big-game hunter who looks for the monster in the woods, a few tastefully done murders, Neil and his friends who discuss the Riverbeast over chocolate milk and cupcakes, red flashes on the screen as a warning that the monster is nigh, etc. There is much tongue-in-cheek humor throughout and it is all innocuous fun with precious little gore and hardly any nudity (recall how I mentioned that this is a deliberately tasteful comical horror film). Also, the scenic vistas of New Hampshire and Connecticut add immeasurably to the film's slight tonal shifts, perpetuating the belief that only in a quaint small town would a Riverbeast problem occur.

Matt Farley is the star of the show, once again he has that presence that keeps you locked in on his every move. Same with Sharon Scalzo who is one of the most appealing presences I've seen since the last two outings by director Charles Roxburgh and his co-writer Matt Farley. The rest of the cast can't quite measure up but they try their damnedest.

Matt Farley and director Charles Roxburgh have delivered another tasty and delectable treat (do check out "Freaky Farley" and "Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas".)  I have a feeling, someday, that these guys will dispense with monsters in rivers and just deal exclusively with their characters. Yes, New Hampshire, they are talents to be reckoned with. Make it a more strict love story between Farley and Scalzo, and throw in their repertory of local actors. Maybe throw in a monster too.

Very bad form, Peter Pan

HOOK (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Hook" is the most bombastic, depressing, overdone and highly ineffectual fantasy film ever made. What is most depressing is that director Steven Spielberg made it, the very same cinematic wizard who awed us with "E.T." This is not the Peter Pan sequel many of us have been clamoring for, and I suspect that it will always be considered a failure in every respect.

Peter Pan (Robin Williams) is now an adult and a parent. He is a successful lawyer who has virtually ignored his children and his wife (Caroline Goodall) because of his heavy workload and his constantly ringing cell phone. Peter never makes it to his son's baseball games, and is seemingly attached to his cell phone. They all go on a Christmas trip to see Granny Wendy (Maggie Smith) while Peter makes some attempt to reconnect to his family. Before you know it, Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) has kidnapped Peter's kids to Never-Never Land while the pint-sized Tinker Bell (Julia Roberts) wakes Peter up since he is unaware of his past exploits to save his kids. What does he have, amnesia? Ultimately, Peter reunites with the Lost Boys (who love to have food fights) to find his inner child. How 90's!

"Hook" is full of action but it is misdirected with overstylized, brightly lit sets that are likely to give you a migraine. Every scene is scored with thunderous overkill by John Williams and so darn loud that it will cause your eardrums to burst. Showing Peter Pan as a bloated fool who confronts mermaids wearing Day-Glo and punkish, unlikable Lost Boys who practically abuse him as if he were in boot camp is not the fanciful, magical tale I know. The ending reeks of so much mawkishness that I felt I was showered with an emotional waterfall of fake tears. And we do not have just one climax but at least three by my count. "Hook" is Spielberg's biggest folly since "1941."

Dances with Arrows, or how Gary Cooper played Dracula

ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

As legend would have it, Robin Hood was a man of the people, one who identified with the poverty of the English people and would steal from the rich and give to the poor. His determination resulted in ongoing feuds with princes and paupers and those whom he stole from. The legend resulted in one terrific film with Errol Flynn back in 1938 called "The Adventures of Robin Hood" (it is still the definitive version). There was also the more mature, older Robin trying to have a romantic relationship with a suicidal Maid Marian in "Robin and Marian," starring Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn. In 1991, Kevin Costner and director Kevin Reynolds had the temerity to bring back Robin Hood to the screen with Costner's American accent almost intact as a sour but also determined Robin. It almost felt like the end of cinema as we knew it. Casting Costner was like casting Gary Cooper as Dracula! Yes, brave casting indeed, but could Costner do it?

"Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" has Costner as a depressed Robin with only occasional flashes of humor. His depression stems from the fact that he has just arrived back from the Crusades after a few years, leaving with a Moor named Azeem (Morgan Freeman) back to England and good old Sherwood Forest. Unfortunately, Robin's father (Brian Blessed) has been killed by the evil Sheriff of Nottingham (Alan Rickman) and now, Robin wants revenge. Plus, he decides to help several homeless Englishmen and other denizens from the Sherwood Forest and other villages who need a strong leader to lead them and grant them freedom. Who better than Robin himself?

In hindsight, I dreaded watching yet another update of the Robin legend. Patrick Bergin showed some dash but little chemistry in the TV movie that was to be released theatrically the same year as this film. Only Sean Connery came close as a fitting replacement to Errol Flynn. Costner shows little gleam - he is the most morose Robin Hood to ever appear on screen. And yet I must confess that I enjoyed Kevin Reynold's remake immensely. It is clever, witty, wicked, dark, and often joyous. It is by no means a great film, largely because of Costner, but it is a fun ride for the most part.

The action scenes have a thrilling intensity to them. The escape from the dungeon in the opening sequence (through a modern manhole!) has the nerve-wracking thrills of an Indiana Jones flick. There are also point-of-view shots of arrows flying through the air, discovery of gunpowder long before Marco Polo that results in fiery explosions, flaming arrows, swords that emit sparks when clanging against each other, screaming crones, black magic, a Maid Marian (Mary Elizabeth Manstrantonio) that knows how to wield a sword though she ends up as a scared damsel in distress anyway, double-crosses galore, evil priests and clerics, and so on. This Robin Hood is designed to entertain you in any way it can and it succeeds.

Though it contains a miscast Kevin Costner, the other actors do their best and bring some sense of style. Mary Elizabeth Manstrantonio is almost Shakespearean in her mannerisms and excellent English accent as the fierce, loving Maid Marian. Morgan Freeman excels as Robin's trusty aide who has a bigger sword than anyone in the movie. But it is really Alan Rickman who steals the show and is at his devilish, wicked best as the theatrical Sheriff of Nottingham ("Call off Christmas!"). Rickman goes over-the-top but hilariously so, he just can't believe one man and his merry band of men could revolt against him.

Director Kevin Reynolds opts for too many close-ups and so this Robin Hood tale does lack the grandeur of the earlier incarnations. Still, in terms of action setpieces, Reynolds has the right flair. The fiery forest attack is expertly done as is the heart-stopping climax where the Sheriff has a sword duel with Robin. There is also a nifty sequence where Robin fights a guard who turns out to be Maid Marian!

Overlong and nearly parodic (plus containing a "Star Wars" subplot that sure is grating), "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" is often superb entertainment and a nice addition to the Robin Hood cinematic legends. Plus, check out the grandly majestic cameo at the end by a great, iconic actor - it is one of the best cameos in history. It is such a wonderful surprise that it had audiences cheering at the end of a screening I saw, enough to wish he had a slightly bigger role.