Quickens the heart and draws blood

MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN (1994)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

All due respect to Boris Karloff's iconic creation of the Monster with electric bolts and square head, Robert De Niro's incarnation of the Creature looks like something assembled out of human body parts that are sewn together. Complete with stitches, sores, huge hands and a limp, this monster is determined to make life a living hell for his creator, Victor Frankenstein (Kenneth Branagh).

At the start of "Frankenstein," the mad doctor is seen in the icy landscape of the Arctic chased by the Creature. Frankenstein is finally able to get away long enough to tell his story to a determined explorer (Aidan Quinn) of where this creature came from. We all know the story of Frankenstein as he slowly grows insane, desperately trying to create life out of dead human tissue. The climactic, over-the-top sequence begins exactly as one would expect. In his subterranean lab, Dr. Frankenstein makes several attempts to bring life to an executed beggar (who has Frankenstein's mentor's brain) with thousands of volts of electricity tapped into a huge water tank. The Creature breaks out of the tank, escapes and finds refuge at a barn where a blind hermit lives with his family. The Creature learns to communicate and read, and then it discovers rather quickly that the good doctor has created him and made him into an ugly being. Meanwhile, Frankenstein has fallen in love with his adopted sister, Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter). Their mutual attraction is interrupted by tragedy and death in the wake of the Creature.

"Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" moves at a fast clip but it is hampered by Kenneth Branagh's portrayal of the doctor - at first, he seems like a young, mad and immoral scientist but after his creation walks away, the vigor and excitement drains away as if Branagh did not know where to go with the character. Of course that could be intentional but it appears as if he is sleepwalking. Sad to say that the wonderful Helena Bonham Carter ("Howard's End") brings zilch to the role of Elizabeth, probably due to being severely underwritten. She is mostly reduced to myriad romps in the hay with bare-chested Branagh.

The heart and soul of "Frankenstein" can be found in De Niro, who brings pathos, sadness and terror to the Creature that touches base with Mary Shelley's novel more so than most other versions. With several ugly stitches, scars, two different eyes and a bald head, he comes across as a tragic figure who could literally break your heart.

Spectacular production design, fine special-effects and a rapid pace enliven "Frankenstein," but sometimes Branagh does not know when to quit. Too many circling camera pans and hyperbolic, overly theatrical performances and sequences (including a Caesarean birth) are overstating - they would make Ken Russell jealous. As terrific as De Niro is, the last few scenes feel like a revisiting of his Max Cady psycho from "Cape Fear." On the whole, it is as if Branagh was trying to outdo the operatic flourishes of Coppola's version of "Dracula" (Coppola incidentally produced this one as well). "Frankenstein" has style to spare, but it needed to be dramatically dialed down.

Faux fright cliches

THE HAUNTING (1999)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally viewed in 1999)

While watching this remake of "The Haunting," I began to wonder how this film would fare if it was not a remake, but just another haunted house story. In other words, what if this was the first film adaptation of Shirley Jackson's 1959 novel, forgetting that the 1963 Robert Wise classic ever existed?

Let's look at the particulars. Independent film queen Lili Taylor is Ellen, the morose, mousy woman invited to Hill House where a special insomnia study is being conducted by a doctor (Liam Neeson). The other guests, or subjects, are the blonde surfer dude Luke (Owen Wilson - who looks like a surfer dude even if he isn't one) and the sexual cat, Theo (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a bisexual who comforts Ellen and is thus teased by Luke. Oh, and did I notice the quick departure of Todd Fields as another subject? I suppose, I did. Maybe he was called in for some reshoots in Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut."

I am sorry but this film hints at disaster from the get-go, and if this had been the first adaptation, it would have surely spelled doom for future fright fests. The fact is that "The Haunting" is directed by Jan De Bont, who helmed the exciting "Speed" and "Speed 2," the latter of which I have avoided. To be fair, the first hour of "The Haunting" captures a sense of spookiness and quiet calm that made the original so memorable. I mean, there are actually no special-effects! The characters are somewhat interesting if buffoonish and detached. Zeta-Jones makes a sparkling entrance as she proclaims with a luscious, breathless voice upon entering Hill House: "Don't you just love it here? You don't get this from a Martha Stewart catalog." Neeson shows a little gleam, and shows interest in Taylor's Ellen who has her own demons to confront. Wilson has a few one-liners to offset the creepy dimensions of the inevitable haunting. Dare I say, this movie was starting to look like a classic ghost story. But then...all hell is unleashed.

De Bont unleashes one special-effects gimmick after another, never alluding to or insinuating the mysterious forces within the house. Instead, he shows us everything and anything. The final half-hour is especially laughable as the main demonic spirit crashes the house in a digital FX blowout of collapsing frames, cracked windows, contorted beds, split floorboards - it is all so outrageously banal that it makes the locust finale of "Exorcist II" look frightful by comparison.

Since De Bont shows us only gaping actors staring at FX galore, we never feel as if this house is truly haunted - it feels like William Castle put on an expensive light show at Universal Studios. Sure, the art decoration and set design of the house is spectacular but hardly suggests that lurking shadows or ghosts inhabit it. And with scarce insight into any of the characters, "The Haunting" becomes an interminable void of faux fright cliches.

MISS ME?

THE CONJURING (2013)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"The Conjuring" is a grandly virtuoso haunted house piece - an elegant, supremely scary picture designed to keep your stomach knotted, your hair standing on end, and your palms sweaty. I will not say this is the scariest film I've ever seen but it is, hands down, among the scariest in a long, long, really long time. Almost too long.

It is 1971. We have a house in Harrisville, R.I. where a new family has moved in, the Perrons. Roger (Ron Livingston from the cult hit "Office Space"), a mild-mannered type of guy, is married to Carolyn Perron (Lili Taylor) and they have five young daughters. Apparently this house, unbeknownst to the Perrons, was the site of a woman accused of witchcraft during the time of the Salem Witch Trials who hung herself on a tree branch outside the house proclaiming to be one of Satan's disciples. There is more here that chills the bone involving multiple suicides and satanic rituals where babies are sacrificed. The Perrons get a taste of these ghosts who haunt their home. Doors are slammed, loud knocks are heard, something pulls the legs of the girls while they sleep, and there is that hide-and-seek game the girls play where they clap when they are in their hiding place while one blindfolded girl has to find them. Would a ghost partake in this game? There is also a doll named Annabelle but I rather you discover its importance on your own.

Eventually, two real-life Demonologists,  Ed and Lorraine Warren (strikingly played with complete assurance by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga), are summoned to the house to rid its evil spirits (The Warrens, by the way, were best known for their involvement in the Amityville haunting). Still flash cameras and microphones are installed to capture the spirits' essence (do not worry: this is all far more compelling than TV's "Ghost Hunters" and its infinite imitations). These spirits mean business, however, and somehow attract birds to fly into the exteriors of the house and kill themselves. Then there is the issue of the clocks stopping at 3:08 am! More doors fling open and the creepy factor settles in - director James Wan makes good use of dark basements and dark crawlspaces. Oh, never look under the bed either. Plus, maybe unexplained bruises are the lack of iron in the body, or something else. As Lorraine Warren states, "Most haunted houses have a simple, rational explanation." Not this house.

"The Conjuring" is a fast-paced haunted house story that gave me goosebumps and, at the end of the cinematic horror day, that is all that counts. It does it with zero gore and tunes up its thrills and chills to 120, all courtesy of director James Wan who previously helmed 'Insidious" and the original "Saw." Yet the movie does break for an unnecessary finale that smacks of "The Exorcist" and, frankly, I would have preferred a more imaginative conclusion. Still, with an expert cast and an expert director at crafting genuine suspense (and a superb use of sound by sound designer Joe Dzuban), "The Conjuring" will bring up good old-fashioned memories of "The Haunting." Not the 1999 remake, mind you, but rather the 1963 classic. Oh, FYI, Lili Taylor, you have redeemed yourself from the crass "The Haunting" remake you appeared in. Many thanks.

Three Diamonds in the rough

THE SCORE (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Original review from 2001)

Heist dramas are fashionable again. David Mamet has his own upcoming drama aptly titled "Heist." Ben Kingsley's riveting performance in the film "Sexy Beast" also involves a heist. Now, director Frank Oz ("Bowfinger") and three major stars, Robert De Niro, Edward Norton and Marlon Brando, combine their strengths to create their own caper flick. "The Score" is a more thrilling caper picture than a character study, depending more on specifics related to the heist than with character. Still, it is as relaxing and comforting a film as you are likely to see in a mindless, mind-bogglingly dumb summer.

De Niro stars as Nick, a Montreal jazz club owner who masquerades as an efficient burglar. Nick is one of the best in the business, usually performing jobs for others in places outside of what he refers to as his own backyard. He has a stunning girlfriend (Angela Bassett), an airline stewardess, who visits him infrequently ("I'll see yah when I see yah.") Everything is in place for Nick but he looks like he is ready to quit too. That is until a shady, Sydney Greenstreet character named Max (Marlon Brando), an old friend of Nick's, offers Nick one big job in their own backyard. It turns out that the Montreal Customs House has a rare 17th century French scepter in the basement, its value higher than Brando's last paycheck. The scepter is so valuable that it is placed under strict surveillance, namely video cameras and an invisible laser display. There is also a little snag and an inconvenience for Nick: Max has hired a cocky, seemingly sociopathic thief named Jackie Teller (Edward Norton) to help infiltrate the Customs House. It turns out Jackie works at the Customs House as a janitor named Brian, mimicking and fooling the employees into believing he is mentally challenged. He is in place already, it only takes Nick to perform the actual heist with Jackie's help.

Needless to say, "The Score" fits the description of any heist thriller since the days of the Production Code. How many heist thrillers have had the same basic premise? How many have dealt with a character like Nick who sees this score as his last job, for good and ever? How many involve a virtually silent climax where the thief performs his sweat-inducing work amidst false alarms? The difference is in all the details, and there are enough to entertain and jolt audiences out of their seats.

De Niro is one of my favorite actors, ranging from explosive portrayals of sinful men in "Taxi Driver" and "Raging Bull" to comedic highlights of minimalistic strength in "Wag the Dog" and "Meet the Parents." Lately, he has been saddled with mediocre fare such as "Fifteen Minutes" but what can you say about a man of his stature to keep himself from repeating past roles? Well, Nick is not unlike the ice-cold killer thief De Niro played in "Heat." This time, though, De Niro brings a world-weary sense to the role and one can't help but feel that Nick enjoys his job as well - he is in command and refuses to take orders except from his boss.

Edward Norton continues to impress me. Here he seems like an extension of the duality he prominently displayed in "Primal Fear" and "The Fight Club." It is a frightening performance in the sense that his character Jackie seems explosive yet reserved at the same time, willing to listen to Nick yet just as ready to rebel from the old-timers. His cockiness and energy are, in effect, part of his own undoing. How can Jackie feel superior to thieves who have far more experience than he ever will?

Marlon Brando is a whole other matter. Brando seems intent on doing riffs of Sydney Greenstreet and the resemblance is amazing not to mention intentional. But there is that glee and weariness he brings that fills the screen with delight. His scene with De Niro is wonderful to watch, but not quite as potent as say the unique pairing of De Niro and Pacino in "Heat." Still, watching Brando mingle with De Niro and Norton is a pleasure to behold. And Brando's scene at an empty pool where he confesses to De Niro the truth behind the heist is exquisite.

Director Frank Oz is a strange choice for this kind of material since his background is in the comedy genre and, of course, the Muppets. Still, he proves to be a master of tension and suspense in some notable scenes, particularly the heist itself which is among the most electrifying since "Topkapi." It is so good that my palms were sweaty while watching it. It is on par with the climactic underwater heist in "Sexy Beast."

Oz's work with these acting giants also proves to be superlative (Despite rumors to the contrary, Brando seems effortless on screen thanks to Oz, even if he didn't want to be directed by Miss Piggy). One misguided exception in the casting is the underwritten role of Angela Bassett as Nick's girlfriend - a character that exists merely as a reason for Nick to quit. Only Bassett is too strong a presence for such a throwaway role - either eliminate the role or hire Halle Berry, for goodness sakes'! There is strong evidence that Bassett's role had been severely cut which is a shame since it would have shed some light on Nick's priorities in life.

"The Score" is as pleasant and diverting a surprise as one can expect. It is absolutely nothing new but the acting, script and the heist climax makes it more than worthwile. It is not as character-driven as "Sexy Beast" or Michael Mann's powerful "Thief," nor as wire-tight as Kubrick's fast-paced "The Killing." Nevertheless, it is still watchable, tense and sweat-inducing as any good heist thriller should be. Unless you believe that all films should have digitally created characters, nothing beats a score like three diamonds in the rough - De Niro, Brando and Norton.

Leatherface on sensory overload

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Sequelizing the original fright classic "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" might have seemed fruitless, but remaking it is cruel and unusual punishment. You only need to think back to 1998 to recall such a glaring error in filmmaking standards - Gus Van Sant's recreation of Hitchcock's "Psycho." "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is Michael Bay and company's dreadful, spiritless remake of a film that has since been deemed the ultimate experience in terror (sorry "Evil Dead" fans).

The movie is set in the early 70's as we witness a van carrying young people on their way to a Skynyrd concert - they listen to Skynyrd's own "Sweet Home Alabama" on the radio so we don't forget what time period it is. A woman is walking on the road, having just survived some ordeal. The compassionate women in the van (including Jessica Biel) pick her up. This scared, comatose passenger suddenly picks up a gun from under her dress and shoots herself in the head. Why? Because she couldn't take it anymore? She suffered too much? No. Because music video director Marcus Nispel and producer Michael Bay want to provide a sensory overload of pumped-up images and music so that the audience never grows restless. The rest of the story focuses a great deal of time on these young, heartless people and their decision on what to do with the corpse and the bloody brains in the backseat of their van (accent on the brain matter). I might believe young people would act in such a way today, but in the 1970's? To be fair, the women are more caring than the men who just want to go to the concert. They do the right thing and call the sheriff (R. Lee Ermey), who proves to be as creepy as the family of savages that live nearby. But never fear my young horror enthusiasts, Leatherface and his buzzing saw are near.

Despite using the cinematographer of the original film, Daniel Pearl, nothing in this "Massacre" is likely to scare you or thrill you. The movie has lots of screaming and running and jumping and some loud chainsaw sounds, nicely amplified by the DTS soundtrack. What is missing is whatever soul the original film had - there was a sense of growing dread cultivated by our hopes that the young victims would walk away from inevitable death. The original "Massacre" was new for showing what depths humanity had sunk to when you would find a house with human bones, skin masks and meathooks. If nothing else, it was a documentary of horror, a living nightmare one couldn't wake up from. Oh, and they were cannibals but this movie barely considers that for a moment - the family in this retro, souped-up version is simply nuts.

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is, as correctly mentioned by Roger Ebert, a geek show where frigid close-ups of slimy, bloody fluids and hand-held camera footage of people running suggest hysteria, not fear. These young people seem to have ample opportunities to run away from these crazy folks, thus the urgency is missing. There is mostly sadism for the sake of having sadism (and maybe someone can explain Biel killing a guy who keeps sliding into the same meat hook he is hanging from. I know the guy is suffering and asks to be put out of his misery, but did she need to use a big knife and thrust it into his gut?) The buzz in this new "Massacre" may be loud but the thrill is gone, folks.

Check out early from this motel

MOTEL HELL (1980)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I am always up for a wicked black comedy about cannibalism but "Motel Hell" is not my cup of tea. The film is thankfully not gory or over-the-top, but the humor is so shallow and uninspired that it is likely to cause more groans than chuckles.

Rory Calhoun, the former Western cowboy star of yesteryear, is Farmer Vincent, the owner of a motel and acres of farm land. He is also legendary for producing meat with a distinctive taste (and keeps free beef jerky in his motel lobby). His motto is: "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters." But this is no ordinary meat from cows or other animals, they are from humans! Vincent's tactics include planting bear claw traps in the middle of a road when he can trap an incoming vehicle, thus the vehicle can lose control and crash into a wooded area (the film seems to assume that no car ever comes through this road except at night. This also means that Vincent is something of a psychic since he can smell when a vehicle is coming). Afterwards, Vincent gasses the victims, removes their vocal chords, and keeps them buried up to their necks, feeding them until they are ripe for butchering. Eventually, he strangles them and then smokes them, thus making his famous tender meats with no preservatives. Mr. Vincent does not work alone. His plumpish sister (the late Nancy Parsons) assists in smoking out humans for high-quality beef.

I must say I cringed throughout "Motel Hell" but not because of the unsavory subject matter. Frankly, I think I can stomach a gross horror comedy but nothing in "Motel Hell" is fiendishly funny or clever. For example, the young female victim that Frank saves from one of his deliberate accidents grows to like him enough to marry him! Meanwhile, Frank's sister attempts to kill the poor, naive girl. By the end of the film, we see Frank inexplicably wearing a pig mask! And how can one small town only have one sheriff!

Nothing that transpires aims to satirize the genre or poke fun at it. Rory Calhoun is easily the best thing in the film and does what he can to maintain our interest. Still, when Vincent's motto is the only witty idea in the entire movie, you know you're in trouble (I could have lived without the S & M couple). I like my horror served straight up, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"-style.

Jigsaw has got more than severed fingers in mind

SAW II (2005)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Though bloodier and nastier, "Saw II" is a fairly tightly-coiled, suspenseful if somewhat overwrought sequel to the surprise sleeper of 2004. Though it has less black humor and has more hysterically violent theatrics, it can still stand as a chilling movie in its own right.

We barely saw the killer in the original "Saw" - now he is seen in full-closeup as the Jigsaw Killer (Tobin Bell) who wears a black and red hood and speaks in a deep voice. He lives in some abandoned warehouse and keeps a house somewhere with its own Rube Goldberg contraptions (apparently, he doesn't clean up the bloody mess left over from previous victims). Donnie Wahlberg is Eric, a cop who plants evidence on his criminal suspects. He has his own headaches to deal with, including a son who is in and out of jail. Nothing can compare to the latest scenario - Eric's son has been kidnapped and held in a room with other victims of the Jigsaw Killer. They have to find the clues to get out, though there are traps one must be wary of including a gun trap behind a locked door, a Syringe Pit, an incinerator, and several other grisly contraptions that might give the characters in "Pit and the Pendulum" nightmares. Some of these rooms contain syringes that can save the group from a deadly, noxious gas. Of course, time is a factor, and there are those mini-tape players with instructions. If you have seen the original "Saw," you know what you are in for.

The group locked in the room are not the most entertaining bunch to be around. There is a muscular, selfish, unsympathetic idiot (Freddy G) who spends a lot of yelling - you want to see him dead before the final reel. There is also Eric's son (Erik Knudsen); a young, frightened girl (Beverley Mitchell); and returnee Amanda (played once again by Shawnee Smith). Excepting Amanda, the rest of the characters are anonymous and one only hopes they can get out alive, except for that hulking idiot.

"Saw II" does have a little more character exposition, notably with the Jigsaw Killer. He explains why he does what he does - he is trying to make his victims appreciate life more with what they have. Amanda, for example, was a heroin addict who survived a bear trap, and now she has thoughts of suicide which is why she is back in his lair. Most pressing question: how does the Jigsaw Killer choose and keep track of all of his victims? Email? MySpace profiles? Or does he have access to police files? Maybe we will find out in "Saw III."

"Saw II" has those frantic cuts from every camera angle that sometimes work (particularly in the death scenes), other times they are distracting (the numerous flashbacks). The movie, though, is unnerving, gory, and makes your bones chill. Tobin Bell is an impressive actor who makes the Jigsaw Killer a sympathetic monster by making us think he might have just cause for what he does, no matter how demented. You may forget the supporting characters but you won't forget the Jigsaw Man.