A Fistful of Futuristic Crap

ESCAPE FROM L.A. (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I don't see how John Carpenter could've screwed up a sequel to his own cult classic "Escape From New York." Laconic Snake Plissken is back, this time searching for the President's First Daughter who has stolen a black box in the guarded and secular L.A. area. Peter Fonda plays a surfer, Bruce Campbell is the eerie Surgeon General of Beverly Hills, reliable Steve Buscemi is known as Maps-to-the-Stars Eddie, and even Pam Grier plays a transsexual with a deeply manly voice! All the elements are in place but this movie is more of a redux of "Escape From New York" than a legitimate sequel of some variety.

For one, Kurt Russell's Snake Plissken is so laconic and overdoes the Clint Eastwood impression to such an extent that he becomes a vile cartoonish variation of the original Snake. There is no room for character development so it is more of the same with no inner dimensions at work for the character. I had little sympathy for this grueling joke of an antihero so I cared less if he lived or died.

The plot hinges on Snake doing the bidding of the government, in this case, the President of the U.S. for life (a bored Cliff Robertson) and his tough henchman (Stacy Keach). They once again inject Snake with a timed explosive charge, so he has a limited amount of time to find the First Daughter and retrieve the black box that contains codes to global satellites. This is the same set-up as in the original, only in the original it was to rescue the President of the U.S. (played at that time by Donald Pleasance). Somehow, this turgid, endless sequel is more colorful than bleak and contains action scenes that lead nowhere, including Snake using a surfboard on tsunami-like waves.

There are some pluses. I like Snake's inspired stand-off with some villainous minions that seems like a cruel joke on Westerns. I also like the depiction of a Los Angeles that is separated from the rest of the U.S. The choice of offering potential L.A. citizens death by electrocution or a life of misery among society's undesirables where you can't eat red meat is fascinating satire, almost on the level of Milton. And the ending, to be fair, is a little more bleak than the original. Also worth a mention is the short-shrift appearance of Valeria Golino, which almost brought my hopes up that this movie would rock with pizazz and sensation. But the movie seems limp and uninspired overall, afraid to pursue the subtext of a city that wants to cleanse its citizens when, in fact, the city looks like it is under martial law (decrying authority and the elimination of rational thought are very much themes of Carpenter's ouevre). And with little insight into its characters including Snake Plissken, we are left with a movie that jettisons humans for automatons. I recommend escaping to a different movie.

Manhattan Futuristic Melodrama

ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1981)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I recall seeing "Escape From New York" back in 1981 and mostly I remember specific images. I recall the eyepatch-wearing Snake Plissken, the red escape pod that had the President of the U.S. in it, the fact that it mostly took place at night, and that's about it. Having heard recently that there may be a potential remake, I decided to watch it again. "Escape from New York" is a mesmerizingly bleak action film, set in a future that didn't quite happen, and I can't say that I know why it works so well. The downtrodden, claustrophobic look of the film is nothing new for films set in the future (though somewhat new in its time), but the film has an atmospheric power that keeps you glued to the screen.

Kurt Russell is, of course, the iconic, reluctant, taciturn Snake Plissken, a prisoner inside Manhattan, which has become a maximum security prison. The waters are electrified around the island, the bridges are mined and walled - basically, no one can get out alive. It is 1997 and the Air Force One plane has crashed into New York, thanks to the soldiers of The National Liberation Front of America who have taken over the plane (it is never made clear why except for the fact that the President has turned New York, if not the country, into an imperialist nation). The President (Donald Pleasance) manages to escape in a pod that lands in the middle of the city. This is dangerous territory since criminals and thieves known as the Gypsies will kill and maim if necessary (they are led by the Duke of York, well-played by Issac Hayes).

Enter Snake Plissken, a former war hero, who is recruited by Police Commissioner Bob Hauk (Lee Van Cleef) on a rescue mission to find the President in 24 hours. Apparently, the President was on his way to a summit and has papers that could help save the U.S. from being demolished. If Plissken succeeds, he will be pardoned of all his previous criminal charges (I wonder if he can leave New York too!)

"Escape From New York" is fascinating for its low-key style and low-key performances. Nothing detracts from the story and everyone performs without necessarily standing out. Of course, this is what director John Carpenter often does best - maintain a certain degree of tension by building it slowly and effectively and getting his actors to tone it down a few notches. Russell has the look of a leather-jacketed, unapologetic badass punk with an apolitical agenda ("The President of what?"), who doesn't think too highly of himself (and he has no time for love). Essentially, he is the Man With No Name character Eastwood perfected back in the days of the spaghetti westerns. And having Lee Van Cleef on board helps to make that homage to the West even clearer.

And for fans of westerns, there is also Ernest Borgnine as the only taxi cab driver alive who warns Plissken about the Duke; Harry Dean Stanton as Brain, who knows how to navigate the mine traps in the 69th St. Bridge; cleavage-bearing Adrienne Barbeau as Brain's girlfriend; Ox Baker as Slag, a vicious wrestler who wields a baseball bat with ease; and Frank Doubleday as a screaming punk who might very well be the physical incarnation of Edvard Munch's "The Scream."

"Escape From New York" is a strong entry in the futuristic action genre, far more expressive and contained than anyone could've expected. Its view of an imperialist, bleak, nihilistic future (thanks to cinematographer Dean Cundey) seems somewhat prescient, and its antihero, Snake Plissken, seems close to being today's average apolitical citizen who's fed up. Le't hope that potentially imperialistic notions in the future exclude turning a city into a maximum security prison.

A wet dream is better than this

DREAM FOR AN INSOMNIAC (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Roman Polanski once said that the best love stories are the tragic ones. I am inclined to agree. I also think ambiguous endings in love stories work, as is the case with Mike Nichols' fabulous "The Graduate." Then there are the forced happy endings, notably the finale of "Pretty Woman." "Dream for an Insomniac" is your standard, cookie-cutter formula crap where the happy ending is not only forced but also downright shameful.

The insomniac is Frankie (Ione Skye), an aspiring actress who has not had a decent night of sleep since she was six-years old. Since this story is meant to be a modern-day fairy-tale, I'll forgive that implausibility for the moment. Frankie lives above a coffee shop run by her Italian uncle (Seymour Cassel), who keeps Frank Sinatra pictures on the walls and constantly plays Old Blue Eyes' music. Frankie is convinced that once she leaves for L.A. with her best friend, Allison (Jennifer Aniston), she will find her dreamboat, someone with "the soul of a poet and eyes like Frank Sinatra." That is until a new employee of the coffee shop comes around named David (Mackenzie Astin), a wannabe writer with the blue eyes of Sinatra. He also happens to be full of quotations from Shakespeare and Sartre, and various pop-culture references. Frankie is instantly in love but how can she leave for L.A. in four days since she met her dreamboat?

I've been in love but if I were a character in this movie, I would not fall so hard for someone like Frankie. Her character is shown to be a pessimist, an overtly cynical and smug person, so how can she also be so optimistic about finding the right kind of man? And what kind of man is that supposed to be? One who can quote endlessly from different literary sources? The scene of Frankie and David's first meeting smacks of sentimental implausibilities. I am not sure if I would be crazy about someone who feels that if you can quote from the literary gods and can keep up with her stream of quotes, then you are worthy. The whole scene as directed by Tiffanie Debartolo is forced, romantic hogwash, as is most of the movie. The shift from black and white to color only enhances the lack of credibility.

There are revelations that can be seen coming from miles ahead of the cinema meter. Frankie's male cousin, Rob (Michael Landes) is homosexual but his father does not know it - their inevitable scene where Rob has to confess his nature is predictable. Then there is David's little secret, also foreseeable. And there is the stereotypical Generation X-er who can drink and eat anything he wants for free. And so on.

The one comic surprise that often took me out of my dull stupor is Jennifer Aniston. She plays the best friend, which is a considerable waste of her talents since she does the exact same role on her famous sitcom. Anytime Aniston showed up on screen, I was elated. Aniston is funny, engaging, sprightly - a real fireball that enlivens the proceedings and makes us wish her role had more development. If Frankie had been played by Aniston, I might have had more fun watching the film.

"Dream for an Insomniac" is fabricated, dull, formulaic, unsurprising, dishonest nonsense. Dishonest in that it wants to reinforce the belief that love at first sight still exists, even for two charismatic people who have no business being together. Watching Cassevettes regular Cassel spouting cliche-ridden dialogue is enough cause for a Cassevettes retrospective. And if you happen to be an insomniac, then this film will prove to be a dream come true.

Tall tales resonate over reality

BIG FISH (2003)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2003)

"Big Fish" is a spasmodically engaging fantasy that yearns to be more. Call it magical realism to the nth degree or a further attempt to deconstruct fantasy from reality, Tim Burton's flair and sleight-of-hand playfulness is certainly more evident than ever. And it is a delight to have him back, in full Burtonian form.

Adapted from a 1998 novel, "Big Fish" begins with Senior Edward Bloom (Albert Finney) reminiscing about his past to children around a campfire, at parties and to anyone else that wants to listen. Edward's stories involve giants invading small towns and eating sheep, a ringmaster who turns into a wolf, a witch with an eye that can foretell the future, big fishes caught and then released, a small perfect, dreamlike town called Spectre, bank robberies run afoul, and so on. They are embellished tales, or tall tales if you like, and Edward relishes every word he says with utmost glee. Everyone seems engaged by his stories except his son, Will (Billy Crudup), a journalist who wishes his father would tell him the truth just once. He knows the details of these stories almost as well as his father does.

The film has flashbacks to these tall tales, and this is where director Tim Burton is engaged and coiled in tightly - sheer fantasy with loopy, colorful backdrops are his forte. The tales stay with you. Who can forget the giant who has a heart after all? And how about the ringmaster (Danny De Vito) who takes a chance on the giant and uses him as part of his act? The witch who lives in a house surrounded by fog and darkness, an Edward Scissorhands relative maybe? Speaking of good old Eddie and his incisors, there is the clean-cut image of Edward Bloom selling hand-shaped contraptions that can be used for anything. By the way, Young Edward Bloom is wonderfully played by Ewan McGregor, who shows his range in playing an Everyman with flaws. How anyone associates this character with Forrest Gump, as mentioned by some critics, is beyond me except that Ed goes through an incredibly vivid journey, albeit a lot weirder than anything Gump ever went through.

The town of Spectre is the centerpiece of the film, and an unusually surreal place that seems hidden from the world (it reminded of stories where ghost towns in New Jersey still seem perfectly preserved). In Spectre, happiness is everywhere, and people like poet Norther Winslow (Steve Buscemi) can delight in writing bad poetry (the joke is he spends ten years writing one stanza that would shun him from the poetry world completely). Spectre almost looks like a town from a Western, and nobody is allowed to wear shoes. Edward inadvertently finds himself in this glorious place, but then he realizes he has bigger goals and bigger ambitions after leaving his own hometown. Spectre, though, is a place Edward can't and won't forget, though I'd hate to ruin the surprise for you.

"Big Fish" is toned-down Burton mechanics so do not expect the whiz-bang effects or the rousing nature of "Batman" or the melancholic chaos of "Edward Scissorhands." The ending is sad but also optimistic, a rarity for Burton. My biggest gripe is that, excepting the grand Albert Finney, the present day sequences are almost a bore, lacking any of the freshness and imaginative spin in the flashbacks. Though one can suspect that reality is always more boring than fantasy, this is still a movie - and reality is not always so bland and dull. Another problem is the lack of real depth in any of the characters. Edward Bloom is a cipher and should be depicted as such in the tall tales, but in reality, what kind of man is he really? His son, Will, is given zilch in terms of how he really feels about his father and mother - only wanting his father to tell the truth doesn't cut it. At least one scene where Ed and Will really talk to each other might have helped - their one scene at a hospital is not as revelatory as one might hope. And Ed's wife, Sandra (played as a teenager by Alison Lohman, and as an adult by Jessica Lange) barely registers as anything except a token role, and a thankless one at that.

Still, "Big Fish" is often amazingly entertaining, funny and whimsical, and keeps us captivated waiting to see what happens. The romantic notion in this film is that tall tales can keep us from losing our own interest in reality, which is not as much fun. Edward Bloom wants to live on with the fantasy, not the reality. The trick is in keeping our realities just as close to the heart, because we are living them. If only Burton had examined this further, he would have had bigger fish to fry.

First of a slew of Burton's reimaginings

PLANET OF THE APES (2001)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I am not a huge fan of the original "Planet of the Apes" but I do recognize its place in pop culture history in its upfront look at civil rights and impending nuclear doom as told through a science-fiction scenario. Still, as a movie, it was entertaining but also fairly cheesy and campy with a grand, majestic and overblown performance by Charlton Heston. No one would ever mistake the original "Apes" as the latest example in subtlety. Tim Burton's "reimagining" of "Planet of the Apes" is also fairly fun, campy and cheesy but it lacks urgency and a real stroke of imagination.

Mark Wahlberg has the Heston role, this time as an Air Force pilot named Leo who loves to work with chimpanzees. One beloved chimpanzee operates a pod that goes through some nebulous cloud and disappears. Wahlberg goes after the chimpanzee in another pod and crash lands in some strange planet populated by apes who talk. In this planet, the humans are slaves to the apes, and Wahlberg is the latest intrusion as he becomes a personal servant to them. He meets with several human slaves including Kris Kristofferson, who quickly disappears from the movie, and Estella Warren as the latest Raquel Welch model in blonde curls and fittingly precious clothing. She is so severely underwritten that we forget her function in the story, outside of making goo-goo eyes at Wahlberg.

The apes include Ari (Helena Bonham Carter), a rebellious thinker who believes in equal rights for all species and falls for Wahlberg; the raging General Thades (Tim Roth), a murderous, rampaging, glowering ape who wants to destroy all humans; the stoic Colonel Attar (Michael Clarke Duncan) who follows Thades every command, and Paul Giamatti as Limbo, the con-artist who is only interested in saving his own neck. There is also a powerful cameo by Charlton Heston (!) as Thades's dying father who wishes all humans extinct.

Most of this is fun to watch and the visual style is dead-on with its view of shadowy woodlands and arid desertscapes in this ape world. I also like the finale where the apes run after the humans on all fours, ready for combat. All the actors do a superior job of portraying apes in both body language and gestures. The human characters are less prone to such credibility, but that says a lot for any action blockbuster post-"Jurassic Park." One crucial difference from the original "Apes" is that the humans here can speak English whereas in the original they could not speak one word, even Heston who you may recall could not utter a syllable for at least an hour into the film. The idea of apes feeling superior to the human race is all lost here.

The movie is an impersonal misfire at best, an attempt by Tim Burton to show he can do a workmanlike job directing other people's ideas. Any capable director could have done an efficient job with this project, so why did the man who created Edward Scissorhands and Pee Wee's strange adventure helm this except to gain respect in an industry that does not reward its own artists? True, Burton also helmed "Batman" and its first sequel but both were molded under his own personal vision - a world where he shares an understanding and compassion for freaks.

None of Burton's touches are evident in "Planet of the Apes," which not so much remakes the original as much as reiterate it. What we have is a bland, undefined hero who accepts apes matter-of-factly, truly nefarious villains, some good special-effects, plenty of ironic, self-aware gags and catchphrases, and a roughly implausible though not wholly surprising finale that seems to make room for a sequel. So, yes, you are likely to be entertained but cineastes will be left pondering the following question: Where is Tim Burton?

Usual Risky Business that breaks the heart

THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (1982)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Of all the early teenybopper sex comedies that consumed the early 1980's, "The Last American Virgin" is probably one of the funniest...and one of the saddest. Not even the highly acclaimed "Risky Business" ever got this downright dirty and gritty...that is to say, to end all the fun and games with a downbeat ending. Yep, it is downbeat yet somewhat hopeful - I'll get back to that later.

Three supremely horny teenagers, Gary (Lawrence Monoson), heavyset David (Joe Rubbo) and the smooth and charming Rick (Steve Antin), are on a sexual conquest. This movie is set in the pre-AIDS era so that means these teens have unprotected sex and the worst thing that happens to them is contracting crabs! Gary is more interested in finding love as he sets his eyes on Karen (Diane Franklin), an ingenue whom he cannot stop gazing upon. Naturally, the toxic charmer Rick also has his eyes on her, presumably to deflower her and nothing more. Gary can't stop gazing and hopes to achieve intimacy.

Written and directed by Boaz Davidson (who also helmed the Israeli-set "Lemon Popsicle" of which this film is a remake of), "The Last American Virgin" may seem shocking in today's climate because of its frank nudity and explicit sexual situations - these kids are not in the same vein as "American Pie's" teens or what has followed later. I still venture to think that teenagers of any era are preoccupied with things other than sex, but that is just me. When these kids have sex, even the heavyset kid has fun, no holds barred. A lovely Spanish teacher who orders pizza (Gary works at a pizza joint) has a romp in the hay with two of the teens. The trio even get themselves a red-headed prostitute, but it is Gary whose thoughts are elsewhere. Nevertheless, before the film dives into serious territory involving abortion, there is fun to be had. The teenagers measure their penile size, dance and party hard to Devo's "Whip it" (played twice in the film) and other hits by the Police and the Gleaming Spires, lure girls to Gary's house for sex by promising cocaine (which is actually Sweet and Low) and merrily get drunk on Jack Daniels. The movie has a kick to it, you can almost dance to the film as if it was a live concert.

Among Diane Franklin fans and fans of the film, "Last American Virgin's" ending has caused a bit of a stir and a lot of consternation. I will not reveal the ending yet, suffice to say, it involves a love lost between two characters that is shocking and suitably realistic. I can say that the male teenager who faces a heartbreaking disappointment may learn from it in the future - he is only a teenager who will slowly mature. Despite the seriousness of it all, the movie has a pulse and it is helped by engaging actors and comical situations (awkwardly asking the pharmacist for medication to cure crabs, running into your crush "accidentally," peering into bathroom holes at naked girls, etc.). When the film is over, you'll remember Lawrence Monoson's gaze and gaping mouth and Diane Franklin's ever so sweet and soulful self. The movie is no groundbreaker in the "Porky's" mold or the other inferior copycats that followed, but it is far more entertaining than most other Palm Beach spring breakers. And there is that ending.  

Canine Shocker

FRANKENWEENIE (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Tim Burton's "Frankenweenie" is a return to the director's roots in the bizarre world of freaks and monsters using fantastic, unbelievable stop-motion animation. I will not say it is a complete success - it is no "Nightmare Before Christmas" or "Corpse Bride" - but it is suitably fine entertainment and freakish enough to warrant a mild recommendation.

Based on Tim Burton's own short film from the 80's that was rejected by Disney (now Disney bares its name on it), "Frankenweenie" takes place in a black-and-white suburbia where young Victor Frankenstein (voiced by Charlie Tahan) loves his dog, Sparky, and often casts the canine in short films he makes (no doubt a hint of Tim Burton's own youth at work here). One tragic day, Sparky runs down a street and is hit by a car. Victor can't let go until he gets the idea through his stern, open-minded science teacher (voiced by Martin Landau) to use electricity to bring back Sparky. If it can work with a frog, then maybe that dog will be back barking soon enough. It is a fun concept, perfect for Burton to craft humor out of the macabre. Except, this time, the humor is barely there.

Almost all the characters are far too macabre, even by Burton's standards. The strange girl with wide eyes and a cat who dreams and poops (each of the poops foretells her classmates' futures) looks ready to kill with a cleaver. Some of the other kids who are working on science projects either look like Boris Karloff's children or Hitler's minions (why they all have thick European accents is beyond me unless this is an homage to all the wild, thick accents we hear in James Whale's classic "The Bride of Frankenstein"). The Igor-inspired nutcase who brings back his dead goldfish is a wacky and wonderful character but then we hear Winona Ryder voicing the girl-next-door who looks suspiciously like the Goth girl she played in "Beetlejuice." I can only take so much of a soft-spoken Winona.

"Frankenweenie" is hardly unmemorable and fitfully entertaining but I would've loved more of Burton's humorous touches. There are some wicked and imaginative sequences strewn throughout (including the inspired idea of having all the kids bring back their dead pets to life) but why does everyone look so emaciated and droopy, that is judging from their faces alone? Aside from the lively pooch (the best character in the movie), the characters themselves need a jolt of electricity as well.