He's a tedious grump, Mr. Grinch

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (2000)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

The pure enjoyment of any of Dr. Seuss' books is the heartfelt magic he brought to them, including "Cat in the Hat" or even good old Grinch. Chuck Jones's animated classic short from 1966 certainly had that in spades. Ron Howard's dull live-action version is a bland, overstuffed souffle, more likely to make you yawn than laugh. I've always been skeptical about a live-action version of the story since the animated short always did it so well in such a short running time. At 102 minutes, director Ron Howard is plowing all over the map with nothing to say.

Jim Carrey is the Grinch, the lovable, sneaky, clever, furry, green-eyed being who lives atop Mount Crumpit, essentially an elf-shoe shaped peak atop garbage mountain overlooking Whoville. The Grinch hates Christmas, and he hates all the cheery Who denizens who live in Whoville (they even hold an annual Holiday Cheermeister award). The Whos live for Christmas, and they love to shop for gifts spending copious amounts of money (is there a message here about consumerism in America?) The Grinch hates these people so much that he takes a maniacal glee in trying to destroy their holiday spirit. In fact, I almost agreed with the Grinch's mean efforts. These Whos are joyless, frenetic people with pig snouts and no personality, and the flashback on how the Grinch became such a grouch entitles him to far more sympathy than probably intended.

The film has no visual imagination whatsoever. Every shot is in close-up and it makes all the surroundings feel cramped and busy. The production design and art direction is washed-out at best with little sense of space or even any vivid colors - Whoville is so dully imagined that it reminded me of the colorless world from Barry Levinson's atrocious "Toys." No wonder the Grinch is so grumpy - his messy, dank domicile has more character and personality than anything in Whoville.

Jim Carrey is fairly tolerable but his manic brand of humor and one-liners robs the film of any heart or soul and quickly proves tedious after awhile - I will say his final scene where he realizes what Christmas is really about proves what a good actor Carrey can be. Christine Baranski as Martha May Whovier, the Grinch's former childhood love, delivers a little pizazz but she hardly snares much screen time. Taylor Momsen as Cindy Lou Who, the only citizen who believes the Grinch is not as mean as he may look, has some tender moments, but most of the cast seems lost in the film's frenzied style.

What was needed for "The Grinch" was the impressive imaginings of Tim Burton considering he created the story of the fabulous "Nightmare Before Christmas" back in 1993, a more comical take on the nature of Christmas. The original "Grinch" had style, flair and a sense of magic. This modernized version feels cold and dreary, like a soiled stocking left outside of Grinch's Mount Crumpit home.

No charm in this stinky snake tale

CURSE II: THE BITE (1989)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

A young couple (J. Eddie Peck, Jill Schoelen) travel through 100 miles of snakes in the desert road. Along the way, they meet gas station attendants with shotguns and snake-like mutated dogs, Jamie Farr as a Brooklyn traveling salesman/doctor, and some rattlesnake that cries like a baby and eventually bites the hand of Schoelen's boyfriend. Of course, this sounds like a throwback to those atomic monster pics from the 1950's, though not nearly as thrilling and far more yucky.

"Curse II: The Bite" is an in-name only sequel that shares no resemblance to the yuckier 1987 horror flick, "The Curse" (which had precious little to do with its literary inspiration, H.P. Lovecraft). This movie is a heck of a lot better than that horrifically misguided 1987 flick yet what we have in store folks is certainly much ado about nothing. A snake bite leads the tall J. Eddie to have a bandaged hand for most of the movie's running time but rather than showing how it affects him physically and emotionally, he just looks merely constipated throughout. In one scene, he punches dearest Jill Schoelen in the face at a New Mexico bar - one can assume it is because he is jealous that she is dancing with another guy which J. Eddie presumably allows. This snake is protruding through Peck's hand and it has a life of its own but, aside from the bar scene, all that snake wants to do is kill everyone it comes in contact with, or does it? It kills one cop, and lets an irate sheriff with a bandaged nose (Bo Svenson, of all people) off the hook by merely whacking him in the head! It kills a nurse by thrusting itself in her mouth, but it lets Jamie Farr go since he faints. What kind of snake is this?

Jill Schoelen in Curse II: The Bite

Jamie Farr comes off best in this movie as the pseudo-doctor who is trying to locate the couple thru CB radio after realizing he gave J. Eddie the wrong antidote. J. Eddie Peck is a pleasing presence but he grows more unlikable as the movie progresses (I guess a few living snakes in your body, courtesy of creature effects guru Screaming Mad George, can lead to a rotten mood). For example, J. Eddie promises he would never hit Jill, then smacks her, then makes love to her in a dark barn with shafts of light peering through (one of the least erotic lovemaking scenes in film history). The underrated Jill Schoelen is always a pleasant diversion and she not only gets to play guitar and sing a song, but she also shows she is nobody's property (of course, she does succumb to her Snake Eyes pal after he massages her, um, lower extremities).

"Curse II: The Bite" is not the worst of its kind but it is resolutely cheesy horror that never quite establishes the menace that needs to be destroyed. Once the movie spirals into an absurd contrivance with some religious folk and an insanely overlong climax, it is easy to tune out from this mess. For Jill Schoelen fans, it is worthwhile getting through its story lulls and slow pacing because her presence shines so brightly. As for the rest of you, there is nothing charming about this stinky snake tale.

Disposably Witchy findings

BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2 (2000)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Original review from 2000 screening)

Perhaps I am overindulgent in my praise but I still think "The Blair Witch Project" is one of the best horror films of the last twenty years. Although the film may not have been completely original, its approach certainly was. Primarily shot on video and 16mm black-and-white film, it had the look and feel of an extremely low-budget feature that could have been made by anyone with a camcorder and a computer. The difference with "Blair" as opposed to other independent horror flicks, such as "The Evil Dead" and "Halloween," is that it did not feel like a movie - it sort of transpired before our eyes in practically documentary fashion. Now we have a sequel, "Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2," that commits the error of most other shopworn sequels - it has gore, sex, loud heavy metal music, and a host of ghostly manifestations right out of 1999's "The Haunting." The original suggested the menace of evil. This "Blair" leaves precious little to the imagination, though we can be thankful that there is still no visible witch.

"Blair Witch 2" begins promisingly enough. There is a nifty prologue set in the town of Burkittsville where the "Blair Witch" mania has spun out of control, and the local citizens speak out on how they have dealt with it. The local sheriff reassures the "Blair" fans that there is no witch in the town or in the woods. But then things go wrong. A mental asylum is shown as a flashback of where Jeffrey Donovan, a former patient, was abused by the doctors and guards. Once Jeffrey is released, he organizes a Blair Witch Hunt, which is a tour of the Black Hills woods where the original movie took place. Jeffrey finds four other willing participants for his tour through the magic of the Internet. They include: Kim Director, a telekinetic goth chick (resembling a pale Heather Donahue) who found the movie to be cool; Erica Leerhsen, a sensitive Wiccan obsessed with spreading the good word about witches; and a couple (Stephen Barker Turner and Tristen Skyler) involved in writing a book on the Blair Witch. Together they camp out in the woods where they find misplaced trees and another wandering tour group. After a wild night of drugs and heavy Jack Daniels boozing, they find out the next day that the cameras are all gone, except for the tapes, and all the research from the Blair authors is shredded. What happened during that night? And what is it with all the bloody witch markings on their bodies? And who killed that rival tour group at Coffin Rock?

At this point, the film begins to get a little more intriguing in the investigation of the tapes that were set up in the cameras to record their nighttime activities. The group's intent is to discover what happened to them, and what they find is quite grisly and decadent to say the least. Unfortunately, director Joe Berlinger (acclaimed documentarian of films such as "Paradise Lost" and "Brother's Keeper") throws in everything to the mix except the witch. We get milisecond shock cuts in the form of flashforwards, relentlessly repeated montages of stabbings and dripping blood, ghostly manifestations of the Burkittsville children killed long ago by the witch, naked bodies dancing and cavorting in the woods, some sexual byplay between Erica and Stephen, and so on. Although it is not as overdone as your basic slasher cum horror flick sequel, it feels like a bastardization of everything the original "Blair Witch" did so well.

Another problem are the characters who feel like they had been recycled from the "Scream" mix (Marilyn Manson's song "Disposable Teens" gives a hint of what's to come). With the sole exception of the goth chick, all the characters are unmemorable and bland to say the least - they scream, shout and argue but they hardly have much in the way of personality. Heather, Mike and Josh were annoying too but they had gobs of humanity, wit and sympathy - everything this cast lacks. The pregnant Tristen Skyler, who should be the most sympathetic of the bunch, comes across as the most unlikable - she even dreams of killing her newborn! If we cannot care about the characters, then we care less if there is a witch inducing a group hypnosis on this bunch.

The concept of this film is fascinating - it assumes the original was just a film and that this group is out to perhaps debunk the myth. Although the ending is gripping, it lacks the emotional subtext of the original. There are some good Heather Donahue jokes, a nod to Frederick Wiseman's excellent documentary, "Titicut Follies," and some occasionally tense scenes but this is mostly a lifeless, perfunctory affair. It's obvious that nobody could have made a decent sequel to a phenomenon like "The Blair Witch Project," a horror film that only comes around once in a blue moon. There is sound advice from Randy in "Scream 2" that the filmmakers should listen to - 'Sequels suck. They are inferior films. The horror genre was destroyed by them'. Sounds just about right.

Less Gore, more truth

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I admire Al Gore's stance on Global Warming - it is a vastly important issue that needs immediate attention. I remember back in the 80's when we, the high school class of 1989, were told that we needed to stop using hairspray so much because the ozone layer was starting to rip open. Hence, so many years later, we have had far too many earthquakes and hurricanes and tsunamis, thousands dead in France thanks to high temperatures, Alaska having its share of warmth during the winter season, and so on. "An Inconvenient Truth" is a necessary and vital film but it too often coasts along on good intentions, and sometimes good intentions are not enough.

Granted, Al Gore's presentation of this global crisis is persuasive. First, he shows us early images of the planet Earth. Then he shows us beautiful nature shots, especially creeks in his hometown. Then we see what is happening in the North Pole where icebergs are breaking apart. Then there are the various glaciers from around the world shown in before and after photos - they are clearly eroding. We see a polar bear in an animated segment trying to survive in glacier-free waters. And just to be sure we don't miss the point, we see a hilarious clip from the cancelled animated TV show "Futurama" where valid points are made about global warming (remember the animated segment from "Jurassic Park" that wrapped up the basic theme of how dinosaurs could come back? That's what the "Futurama" segment reminded me of).

And there are other truths that have been unwisely ignored. Temperatures from many parts of this country alone are so warm that bears and other wildlife are seeking food in the nearby towns (of course, this problem can also be attributed to the explosion of suburban housing developments and deforestation). We have also had weirdly warm temperatures in January of 2001 in New Jersey - 75 degrees in January as I recall! But if you check out daily local weather reports, you'll notice even warmer temperatures during the same month back in the 1800's!

"An Inconvenient Truth" plays like a series of visual exclamation marks. Baby seals seeking their mothers while swimming in glacier-free waters (once again)! The crisis of how much carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide and other odor-free gases are pumped into the atmosphere every day, thus causing an increasing rupture in the ozone layer. Don't drive your SUV's and switch to walking or biking! Get some solar panels for god's sakes and stop using electricity! Stop burning fossil fuels!

Al Gore presents all these claims with graphs, charts and photos, but not much more to support such outrageous claims. I have no doubt that global warming exists but I'd like to have heard from some of the experts as well - I don't want to take Gore's word for it 100%. This is a filmed record of one of many of Al Gore's slide and video lectures. Less emphasis, however, on his 2000 campaign and personal tragedies and more evidence of global warming would've been welcomed. As it stands, "An Incovenient Truth" is an often compelling documentary but it lacks the polish and stamina of truly invigorating reportage on such a pressing problem. I think we needed less Gore and more truth.

You can almost hear a pin drop

RACING WITH THE MOON (1984)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Racing With the Moon" is the kind of movie that can thrive on nostalgia but instead opts to tell a relatively simple story about innocence. It does it without dwelling on 1940's iconography only to tell its story. Its got a big heart, introspective characters and it never drowns in sentiment.

It is the wartime era in California, 1943. The movie is set in a virtually placid setting - almost appearing like those northern towns near Canada with its vast forest and train tracks that whip around endless miles of foliage. Sean Penn is Hopper, a talented would-be pianist, an observer and someone destined for a world beyond bowling alleys, cemeteries, and secret rendezvous in the middle of the woods. He is ready to go off to fight the war. So is Hopper's friend, Nicky (Nicolas Cage), who is a little wilder and a heavy drinker. They stick together like glue, whether it is working at the local bowling alley as pin droppers or outrunning trains. Life takes a turn for Hopper when he meets Caddie (Elizabeth McGovern), a supposed rich girl (a "Gatsby Girl") who works at a library and a movie theater. Hopper is in love with Caddie and woos her with his piano playing.

I am sure this sounds like teenage romantic claptrap or a slick soap-opera for the teenage mindset but "Racing With the Moon" aims for a dreamy, leisurely paced reality. The movie has the look and feel of a real town with real people in a real setting (the production design and art direction bring this era to life with strict attention to detail). But what makes "Racing with the Moon" remarkable is that it is imbued with sweetness and a slight edge. Most telling is one of the most romantic scenes I've seen in a movie in a long time where Hopper plays the piano for the smitten Caddie - it is so lovingly shot and edited, with the soft voice of McGovern added to the soundtrack, that it leaves you in a trance. Coupled with that scene is a long sequence where the boys try to get money by pool-hustling some sailors - there is tension in the air and we are not sure what the outcome will be.

"Racing With the Moon" is a supple treat, a movie that harks back to an era where life only seemed less complicated. There are money problems, abortion issues, tense relationships, fear of war as seen through the amputees who have returned from their service, and a train to catch. As directed by Richard Benjamin and written by Steve Kloves, it may have the appearance of being old-fashioned but, at its emotional core, it is definitely a new-fashioned approach.

No major goosebumps

INSIDIOUS (2011)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Insidious" amps up the haunted house genre by introducing a seemingly novel idea: a spirit haunts an individual rather than a whole house. Of course, the whole house is seemingly (there is that word again) haunted anyway. "Insidious" has a few scares but it is not nearly as much fun or horrifying as other more stellar examples in the genre, including 1963's classic "The Haunting."

The movie begins with the customary cliches. A young couple (Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne) move into a new house with their two sons - Wilson is a teacher, Byrne is a musical composer. There is something uninviting about the house, though. When Momma Byrne places books in a shelf and later finds them on the floor, she can only blame her son. Her eldest son (Ty Simpkins) discovers the cobwebbed attic and a ladder - guess what happens. Later on, the kid doesn't wake up, staying in his bed in something of a haunted coma. What has happened? The parents are flummoxed but weird things go bump in the night and apparitions are seen. Enter the smiling, endearing psychic (Lin Shaye, in the most entertaining performance in the movie) who knows a thing or two about hauntings, especially when the kid is not really in a coma - he has entered some realm known as the Further where his soul leaves his body.

Nothing in "Insidious" is remotely fresh or invigorating - you have seen all this before and better. The personalities of the family are not fully drawn (though Rose Byrne tries to rise above a slimly written character) so it is hard to be invested in their plight. The kids, heaven help them, are merely okay but they do not stand out (everyone remembers Linda Blair in "The Exorcist" or the dearly departed Heather O'Rourke from "Poltergeist") Most of this run-of-the-mill ghost story in fact reminded me of the superior "Poltergeist," which is the kind of haunted house picture that hits you like lightning. This film, as decent and practically gore-free as it is, is more like a mild storm.

"Insidious" does its job competently (thanks to "Saw" collaborators, director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell) but it doesn't exactly give you major goosebumps.

Human heart toilet troubles

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS (2003)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2003)

American films used to surprise and enthrall us at every turn, often keeping us on the edge of our seats. Lately, British films have that spark that is missing from most recent Hollywood cinema. Look at "Sexy Beast," which basically placed a surreal spin on the crime genre post-Tarantino, or "The Crying Game," still one of the most elegant romantic crime thrillers ever made. "Dirty Pretty Things," a new noir excursion by Brit extraordinaire Stephen Frears, is one of the most surprising and thrilling films of 2003. Not quite a thriller, romance or a drama, it does manage to fit all three squarely into one solid package.

Set in modern-day London, we see the difficulty of working menial jobs in a city that is willing to pay illegal immigrants to work. One of them is a Nigerian doctor named Okwe (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who works as a taxi driver by day and as a hotel desk clerk at night. He rents a couch from Senay (Audrey Tautou), a Turkish immigrant who also works at the hotel. Trouble is Okwe shouldn't even bother renting the couch - he wants to stay awake and does so by consuming illegal herbs. One night at the hotel, he discovers a human heart in the toilet of one of the luxurious rooms. Okwe reports it to the sneaky, oily hotel manager, known as "Sneaky" (Sergi Lopez), who tells him to forget what he saw. If something dirty happens, the hotel's job is to clean it up and make it look pretty the next day. Still, Okwe can't help but inquire about that heart. He tells his tale to a doctor friend who reminds him that illegal kidney transplants do take place, particularly for illegals who want to stay in England at any cost.

At this point, any director might have turned this into a suspense thriller where Okwe's life is in danger. We might have had Sneaky turn into some psycho killer and there might be a car chase or two. Also, some screenwriter might have opted for a romantic liaision between Okwe and Senay - why not since they live together. But director Stephen Frears is too smart for simplifying the plot and forsaking interesting elements  in the interest of formula action. We learn that Okwe has more up his sleeve than he lets on, particularly about his past. We also learn that Senay may be forced to return to Turkey if she is discovered renting her apartment to anyone or if she has a job. We also learn startling revelations about Sneaky and the kind of operation he is actually running in the hotel but since this is, once again, one of those films dependent on surprises, I'll leave you with the surprise of discovery.

Another element that could have been forsaken by your average Hollywood screenwriter is the overcast atmosphere and inner workings of a city like London. We learn about the tiredness of working two jobs, supporting yourself while eluding the authorities. Those special herbs are definitely needed! We also see how illegals sometimes have to sell themselves to stay out of trouble, sometimes with sexual favors. One tough sequence to watch has Senay working at a factory run by a boss who demands sexual favors in return for keeping quiet about her illegal status. I found myself squirming in my seat watching that sequence.

"Dirty Pretty Things" is superlative in every way. It is daring, thrilling, blackly funny, energetic, romantic, suspenseful and has a touching coda. Okwe and Senay are characters I will not erase from my memory any time soon. Both Ejiofor and Tautou bring their characters a real sense of individuality and purpose - you know what they stand for and what they hope for. And you can't help but pray that they get out of the dirty pretty things they are involved and move on.