Good evening, I am Michael Myers!

HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

 I remember anticipating with great delight the next Halloween sequel back in 1988. After all, it was seven years since the last Michael Myers film (not counting the turgid "Halloween III: Season of the Witch," which had nothing to do with Carpenter's original). It was time to return to the land of Haddonfield, Illinois where Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance) was still on the hunt for Michael Myers, the zombiefied killer who walked at a snail's pace and only on October 31st. Well, some things are better left alone. "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers" is one of the worst sequels ever made, bereft of thrills or chills. Even the gore leaves much to desire (and I am no fan of gore).

We are back in Haddonfield where murderous Mikey is now after his niece (Danielle Harris). Why? I could not tell you. First, we discover Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) was Mike's sister in "Halloween II" and suddenly, any family relative of Mike's is in deep trouble. Returnee Dr. Loomis (with a slight burn scar on his face) is back chasing Mike, assuring all the king's men and all the king's horses of Haddonfield that the inhuman killer will strike again on Halloween night. Naturally, nobody listens to a man as insane as Michael Myers. And surely we cannot stop celebrating Halloween, a time of tricks and treats and plenty of sex between the mature teens, now can we? Of course not, which is why the teens get it in the end, and the niece, well, I guess you will have to watch it to see what happens.

"Halloween 4" is strictly by-the-numbers and shockingly boring as a result. The famously eerie piano score by John Carpenter is remixed here with barely much enthusiasm. The mask of the Shape aka Michael Myers looks like a clown's mask, and is hardly as frightening as the original. Nothing in the film feels thrilling or remotely scary, and plus there is no atmosphere or stylistic flourishes to keep one's interest. The impression I got from this movie was that a studio executive said, "Hey gang! It is time for a new Halloween movie since Freddy and Chucky are making horror fun again at the box office. Only we will make this movie lethargic and lifeless to sit through and throw in a twist ending to make people scared so they will be willing to sit through it again and see what they missed." This is not Halloween, this is Hollow-ween.