Check out early from this motel

MOTEL HELL (1980)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I am always up for a wicked black comedy about cannibalism but "Motel Hell" is not my cup of tea. The film is thankfully not gory or over-the-top, but the humor is so shallow and uninspired that it is likely to cause more groans than chuckles.

Rory Calhoun, the former Western cowboy star of yesteryear, is Farmer Vincent, the owner of a motel and acres of farm land. He is also legendary for producing meat with a distinctive taste (and keeps free beef jerky in his motel lobby). His motto is: "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters." But this is no ordinary meat from cows or other animals, they are from humans! Vincent's tactics include planting bear claw traps in the middle of a road when he can trap an incoming vehicle, thus the vehicle can lose control and crash into a wooded area (the film seems to assume that no car ever comes through this road except at night. This also means that Vincent is something of a psychic since he can smell when a vehicle is coming). Afterwards, Vincent gasses the victims, removes their vocal chords, and keeps them buried up to their necks, feeding them until they are ripe for butchering. Eventually, he strangles them and then smokes them, thus making his famous tender meats with no preservatives. Mr. Vincent does not work alone. His plumpish sister (the late Nancy Parsons) assists in smoking out humans for high-quality beef.

I must say I cringed throughout "Motel Hell" but not because of the unsavory subject matter. Frankly, I think I can stomach a gross horror comedy but nothing in "Motel Hell" is fiendishly funny or clever. For example, the young female victim that Frank saves from one of his deliberate accidents grows to like him enough to marry him! Meanwhile, Frank's sister attempts to kill the poor, naive girl. By the end of the film, we see Frank inexplicably wearing a pig mask! And how can one small town only have one sheriff!

Nothing that transpires aims to satirize the genre or poke fun at it. Rory Calhoun is easily the best thing in the film and does what he can to maintain our interest. Still, when Vincent's motto is the only witty idea in the entire movie, you know you're in trouble (I could have lived without the S & M couple). I like my horror served straight up, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"-style.

Jigsaw has got more than severed fingers in mind

SAW II (2005)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Though bloodier and nastier, "Saw II" is a fairly tightly-coiled, suspenseful if somewhat overwrought sequel to the surprise sleeper of 2004. Though it has less black humor and has more hysterically violent theatrics, it can still stand as a chilling movie in its own right.

We barely saw the killer in the original "Saw" - now he is seen in full-closeup as the Jigsaw Killer (Tobin Bell) who wears a black and red hood and speaks in a deep voice. He lives in some abandoned warehouse and keeps a house somewhere with its own Rube Goldberg contraptions (apparently, he doesn't clean up the bloody mess left over from previous victims). Donnie Wahlberg is Eric, a cop who plants evidence on his criminal suspects. He has his own headaches to deal with, including a son who is in and out of jail. Nothing can compare to the latest scenario - Eric's son has been kidnapped and held in a room with other victims of the Jigsaw Killer. They have to find the clues to get out, though there are traps one must be wary of including a gun trap behind a locked door, a Syringe Pit, an incinerator, and several other grisly contraptions that might give the characters in "Pit and the Pendulum" nightmares. Some of these rooms contain syringes that can save the group from a deadly, noxious gas. Of course, time is a factor, and there are those mini-tape players with instructions. If you have seen the original "Saw," you know what you are in for.

The group locked in the room are not the most entertaining bunch to be around. There is a muscular, selfish, unsympathetic idiot (Freddy G) who spends a lot of yelling - you want to see him dead before the final reel. There is also Eric's son (Erik Knudsen); a young, frightened girl (Beverley Mitchell); and returnee Amanda (played once again by Shawnee Smith). Excepting Amanda, the rest of the characters are anonymous and one only hopes they can get out alive, except for that hulking idiot.

"Saw II" does have a little more character exposition, notably with the Jigsaw Killer. He explains why he does what he does - he is trying to make his victims appreciate life more with what they have. Amanda, for example, was a heroin addict who survived a bear trap, and now she has thoughts of suicide which is why she is back in his lair. Most pressing question: how does the Jigsaw Killer choose and keep track of all of his victims? Email? MySpace profiles? Or does he have access to police files? Maybe we will find out in "Saw III."

"Saw II" has those frantic cuts from every camera angle that sometimes work (particularly in the death scenes), other times they are distracting (the numerous flashbacks). The movie, though, is unnerving, gory, and makes your bones chill. Tobin Bell is an impressive actor who makes the Jigsaw Killer a sympathetic monster by making us think he might have just cause for what he does, no matter how demented. You may forget the supporting characters but you won't forget the Jigsaw Man.

A true shocker in a jaded age

SAW (2004)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

(Originally viewed and reviewed on 10/31/04)

After suffering through the monotonous "Suspect Zero," I was ready to say that serial killer films were a thing of the past. How many more variations can one find in the confines of a serial killer story? Even Hannibal Lecter was reduced to cartoonish size in "Hannibal" and "Red Dragon." The best film on serial killers is still "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer" for its grim reality and lack of irony, and also for not sticking close to the genre's penchant for unrelenting gore. "American Psycho" was an antiseptic joke on consumerism, but an entertaining joke nonetheless. "Saw" is nothing new but it is feverishly intense and in-your-face. Gory, yes, but its setting and performances raise it a notch above the usual claptrap.

"Saw" begins with two protagonists in an isolated setting. The two protagonists are Dr. Laurence Gordon (Cary Elwes) and a young photographer, Adam (Leigh Whannell). Both men awaken to find themselves chained to the walls with leg irons in a grimy looking bathroom. Two saws are available but they are too rusty and feeble to cut through anything, except their own ankles. They also have mini cassetes in their pockets with instructions, giving them potential clues to their escape. A corpse is in the middle of the room, drenched in blood in an apparent suicide and holding a mini cassette player. There is a dilemna: Dr. Gordon must kill Adam to save himself and his family. The serial killer remains unseen, perhaps hiding behind a two-way mirror observing their actions. Sometimes we catch a glimpse of a puppet with a hideous clown face marked with red spirals riding a tricycle! What in the name of "Seven" and "Silence of the Lambs" is going on here?

Most of "Saw" rests on flashbacks and flashbacks-within-flashbacks. Dr. Gordon recognizes that the killer may be the Jigsaw Killer, who doesn't exactly kill his victims - he places them in deliberate mazes and contraptions of death where they are forced to kill or kill themselves. One truly grisly flashback shows a heroin addict (Shawnee Smith) with a contraption attached to her head with a timing device that will spring open and destroy her jaws. She has to save herself by obtaining a key in the stomach of a corpse, a scene that will make gore-laden aficionados squirm. We also see a man trying to break through razor-sharp barbed wire. "Saw" is like a modern Grand Guignol remake of the "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Raven" with shocks to the system delivered with ugly punches to the gut. This is definitely the kind of movie where you cringe and avert your eyes more than once.

"Saw" also uses the muscular work of a film director utilizing every camera trick in the book. There are plenty of hand-held camera shots, roving cameras that pan around the intended victims in practically time-lapse motion, and subliminal cuts galore. These distancing effects are often detrimental in horror thrillers. Here, they heighten the suspense and the gore. First-time director James Wan often uses such devices when necessary instead of exploiting them - the grainy footage of that clown mask will make you shudder. The washed-out look of the grimy bathroom, lit by fluorescent lights, will make you want to use clorox and make the room spankingly clean.

"Saw" does have its share of forgivable gaping holes in the plot, including one involving Danny Glover as a cop whose partner is killed by the Jigsaw Killer. Glover is certain that the good doctor is the killer but since Glover's character is not developed, it is difficult to see what the connections are or how he finds the killer's lair (though his apartment is even more unkempt than Denzel Washington's in "The Manchurian Candidate" remake). There is also another head-scratcher involving the placement of a gun in the bathroom, though it is somewhat resolved in the climax. If nothing else, I wished I knew more about Dr. Gordon and his infidelities, or the brash photographer Adam and his proclivity for taking snapshots. I can only guess that the filmmakers initially thought of only using the bathroom setting minus the cop character and some of the flashbacks, which would have made this film as claustrophobic as last summer's "Open Water."

"Saw" is an efficient, effective thriller, utilizing every trick in the suspense book for maximum fright. With its dark conclusion, unyielding scares and ominous score, not to mention a decaying atmosphere, "Saw" will thrillingly remind one of how these movies used to be made. Think "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" without the irony and the humor of the post-"Scream" thrillers. "Saw" is a true shocker in a jaded age.

Mel Brooks' worst film - he had it coming

ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS (1993)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I hated, hated, hated, and despised, despised, despised "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." I first saw it in theaters in 1993 and, despite occasional chuckles, I was deeply disappointed and felt the whole thing was a laughless affair. I saw it again recently, perhaps thinking I was unfair back then, and I am only partially right the second time around.

"Robin Hood: Men in Tights" mostly pokes fun at the Errol Flynn classic from 1938, and there are a few precious digs at the underrated "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves." What is striking is how few gags parody the Robin Hood legend. Cary Elwes is dashing, romantic and plays Robin Hood to the hilt, wearing a feather cap and green tights just like Errol Flynn. He has fun with the part and is madly good at fencing. He plays the part straight, which is fine and expected. However, Brooks directs the film far too straightly, with only mild comic exaggerations.

Excepting future comic star Dave Chappelle and the always funny Dom DeLuise, the rest of the cast is a disaster. Richard Lewis looks and acts like a complete fool as Prince John; Amy Yasbeck plays Maid Marian far too sweetly; and Roger Rees seems to ache for an Alan Rickman impersonation as the Sheriff of Rottingham and fails miserably.

Another problem may be that many of the gags and punchlines are simply uninspired and fairly dumb, especially for someone like Mel Brooks. The Sheriff of Rottingham? A character named Ahchoo? Another character named Will Scarlett O'Hara? Are you kidding me? And there is the final scene between the Sheriff of Rottingham and a witch (Tracey Ullman) that is so badly and flatly executed, you'll wonder how a scene like that got lifted from the cutting room floor.

There are some gags that do work. I love the Robin Hood/Little John standoff scene where the bridge extends over a little puddle in a ditch. I also like the rap song of "Men in Tights." It is also a pleasure seeing Mel Brooks playing a Jewish rabbi who offers "half-off" for circumcisions (though this character plus DeLuise's Don Corleone imitation have nothing to do with Robin Hood). There is a delightful surprise of a cameo at the end that mirrors a similar cameo in "Prince of Thieves." And there is one superbly funny bit involving a movie camera as a peeping tom!

The rest of "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" is merely a blandly and monotonously staged retelling of the basic legend of Robin Hood. Sections of the film transpire without a single laugh, some with an occasional chuckle. I didn't completely hate the film but coming from the man who brought us "Young Frankenstein," "Blazing Saddles," "The Producers" and so much more, it is a major flop and still a laughless affair. I think there were better, funnier gags in Kevin Costner's "Robin Hood."

Transparent ghost story

THE FOG (1980)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Following the coattails of "Halloween," writer-director John Carpenter delivered an atmospheric ghost story called "The Fog." What he forgot to do was inject a story of some semblance and weight. It is a ghost story all right, largely transparent.

The movie begins with John Houseman telling a campfire story to a group of kids. His tale is of a ship known as the Elizabeth Dane that shipwrecked in the town of Antonio Bay 100 years earlier. Apparently, there were lepers aboard and they were lured away by the townsfolk, causing them to crash the ship among some rocks. This was not enough for the townsfolk - they stole all the gold on board. Now it is 100 years later and something wicked this way comes. An illuminated fog bank moves in to the town that causes glass breakage, car alarms to go off, gas stations to malfunction, TV sets to turn on by themselves - in short, hysteria has moved in to the town. Nothing is explained and the next day, life moves on. Only the night before, the local priest (Hal Holbrook) finds his grandfather's journal behind a broken rock formation in his church! A local worker (Tom Atkins) picks up a wandering girl (Jamie Lee Curtis) and suddenly their car windows break! And the local deejay (Adrienne Barbeau), who works at a radio station in the lighthouse, starts seeing a fog bank settling in and then disappearing! Her son finds a coin that turns into a wooden block with a written warning!

I was definitely compelled by the first half-hour of "The Fog." But then it is all much ado about nothing. We discover there are ghosts that travel by fog and they were the lepers that were killed a century earlier. Their purpose is to kill the descendants of the town's founding fathers, the ones who stole the gold, yet they randomly kill unrelated citizens of Antonio Bay. And most of the movie centers on that endlessly glowing, rolling fog bank, and watching people prepare for the inevitable. And we get to hear Jamie Lee Curtis scream once, thanks to one of the oldest cliches in the book - a corpse toppling over from nowhere! There are the customary unseen loud knocks on wooden doors! And we get endless scenes of Adrienne Barbeau staring out into the horizon from her lighthouse, watching the fog getting closer and closer. Boo! And Janet Leigh is on hand as the mayor of the town, along with cast members from Carpenter's "Halloween" such as Nancy Loomis as Leigh's secretary/aide and Charles Cyphers as a lonely meteorologist. These actors flow in and out of the narrative without a registering an ounce of personality. Looks to me like everyone is in a foggy state of mind.

"The Fog" has all the hallmarks for a frightening ghost story, but none of the soul or the spirit. I barely cared about any of the paper-thin characters, and when Jamie Lee Curtis can't even keep me awake in a John Carpenter film, you know you're in trouble.

Rosemary, not Damien, Gone Bad

THE OMEN (2006)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(Originally reviewed in 2006)

After seeing the remake to the classic 1976 chiller, I must wonder the obvious: what was the point? Even "Superman Returns" felt like "Superman I and 2" revisited, so what exactly does one accomplish by remaking a movie in almost the exact same way without hesitancy? One could ask Gus Van Sant that same question when he unwisely chose to remake or "recreate" "Psycho." Now Rob Zombie is doing the same with "Halloween." When will it stop?

Richard Donner's melodramatic original "Omen" was keenly aware of the evil that exists in the world, and how Damien merely embodies it. Of course, thanks to the sneaky charm and eerieness of black-haired hellraiser Harvey Stephens as the Anti-Christ in that film, Damien seemed unaware of who he was or what power he had (the character discovered it in "Damien: Omen II"). But Stephens possessed something more - an innate ability to portray evil with a smile, a wink, a simple laugh, and some frightening stares (particularly when he's staring at a church he is about to enter). And with the towering and penetrating eyes of the late Gregory Peck as Damien's father, an ambassador, and Lee Remick's wistfulness as Damien's mother, the film, though flawed, had an atmospheric power and beauty like the old Hammer horror flicks, with less emphasis on blood and gore.

This new "Omen" has all the hallmarks of the original, and includes a literal shot-by-shot redo of those bizarre murders perpetrated against those who reveal Damien's actual identity. This film is also desaturated with grimy colors and lots of overcast skies (well, nothing should be too sunny and cheery in the world of "The Omen"). The script is practically lifted from the original as well (I love that cinematic line: "He will lead a life in the world of politics"). But frankly, there is not much more. I do not mind a remake as long as it is improved upon, and there is not much improvement here. The film is squandered by lacking a real dramatic push in the narrative - there is not much urgency. The only urgency is supplied by an offensive opening scene where the Pope and other members of the congregation discuss images of tragedies post-9/11, including tsunamis, Hurricane Katrina and a brief allusion to 9/11. I am no prude but I think it is unnecessary to bring up recent tragedies to stir interest in the coming of the Anti-Christ. Isn't it enough that some child bears the tattoo 666 and could be the son of Satan? Or were the filmmakers inspired by Pat Robertson and the late Jerry Falwell?

Speaking of other inanities, there is the bloodless Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick as the black-haired Damien who seems ready to smile at the most inappropriate moments. Liev Schreiber in the Peck role isn't badly cast but he doesn't show the determination or will to make things right - someone like Liam Neeson might've been a better choice. Same with Julia Stiles as Damien's mother - she seems completely miscast and indifferent when compared to Remick.

There is one performance that rises above this remake. It is Mia Farrow in the role of the devilish nanny. Her smile and demeanor reminds me of Rosemary Gone Bad. In fact, I'd pay to see a sequel to "Rosemary's Baby" with Farrow reprising one of her most famous roles. There's truly something diabolical about her in this role - something that "The Omen" should've been infused with.

Deadpan, absurdist=Wes Anderson

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVEN ZISSOU (2004)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I can't believe it. Wunderkind Wes Anderson has done it again. "Bottle Rocket" and "Rushmore" were terrifically rich, spicy Wes Anderson comedies. Then came "The Royal Tenenbaums," a far richer tapestry of black humored situations crossed with a character study of dysfunctional families. Those who might have been put off by the latter's dark tone will revel in the truly hysterical "The Life Aquatic With Steven Zissou," which is as delightful as any comedy I've seen in 2004. To describe it would not do it justice - it is something to experience - but I'll do my best.

Bearded Bill Murray plays the 53-year-old Steven Zissou, an oceanographer, filmmaker and something of a pothead. He has his own ship in dire need of repairs called the "Belafonte," which comes equipped with a yellow submarine. Zissou has gone on expeditions searching for different fish species and filmed them. He has a full crew, including a topless script girl (Robyn Cohen), the anxious German Klaus (Willem Dafoe), a producer named Oseary Drakoulias (Michael Gambon), a guy named Pele who plays the guitar and sings David Bowie songs in Portuguese, and a pair of dolphin guides whom Zissou thinks are less than intelligent. Zissou is world renown but his documentary films are unpopular (they have titles like "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Part I"). At a red-carpeted screening, the audience has no emotional reaction to a real on-screen death. The tragic death is none other than Zissou's French buddy, Esteban du Plantier (Seymour Cassel), who is eaten by a Jaguar Shark! So Zissou's mission is to drag his crew through dangerous waters, confront the shark, kill it and film it as part of his next documentary. But this is no ordinary revenge story. 

Along for the ride is a pregnant reporter, Jane Winslet-Richardson (Cate Blanchett), who is eager to interview Zissou for a cover story. She is easily intimidated by Zissou and even cries at his dismissal of his own achievements and of her lack of reporting skills. Also on board is Zissou's allegedly illegitimate son, Ned Plimpton (Owen Wilson), who is an air pilot for Air Kentucky. Ned continuously reminds Zissou that he had written letters to his fan club since he was a kid - is this Ned just an obsessed fan or is he really his son? Zissou is so taken with Ned that he makes him part of the crew, despite the objections of Klaus who sees Zissou as some sort of father figure. Oh, and I shouldn't leave out Eleanor, Zissou's wife (Anjelica Huston), who feels like she doesn't belong to anything except the house she lives on in a private island. There is also cult favorite Bud Cort as the geeky bond stooge.

I am not sure how to describe the effect of "The Life Aquatic" because its charms are so subtle and so minute that it will take more than patience to sit through it. Wes Anderson's films are an acquired taste - either you go with the flow or you'll be submerged in prototypically strange waters. I get his work and am totally attuned to it. His low-key humor and lower-keyed jokes and sight gags are more illuminating than half the Hollywood comedies that need to spell everything out. In the world of this movie, we see pastel-colored fish, angry Filipino pirates, a semi-gay Jeff Goldblum as a rival oceanographer who has an espresso machine, a sleeping vessel attached to the ship where all oceanic wildlife can be seen and admired, glowing jellyfish that wash up on the shore, and so on. Like I said, either you find this funny in terms of how it is set up and delivered, or you don't.

Bill Murray is pitch-perfect as Steve Zissou, accentuating the character's body language and ridiculous attire so well that you forget how absurd it really is. He is often seen wearing a red wool cap and his light blue work clothes, as is most of his crew. Murray brings his dialogue alive with his deadpan comic timing - my favorite scene, among many, is when he walks to every room in his ship while arguing with Ned over his love for Jane, the reporter, who of course has a thing for Ned. What is wonderful about this scene is that the ship looks like a set with the frontal walls cut off, and to hear Murray saying lines like, "Go to bed, you sons of bitches," is to see the extent of the absurdity of the material. What Murray also conveys is Steve Zissou's tiredness - he is tired of his long, waning career and wants to feel a smidgeon of affection again. Ned may be his own salvation. It is further proof that Bill Murray is one of our most underrated actors - check out his scene in the hot air balloon with Cate Blanchett and you'll see what I mean.

Owen Wilson can typically annoy me but his depiction of Ned is truly magnificent. I felt something for Wilson because he shows his hurt and pain for being neglected without making it too obvious - more often, it is reflected in his nearly stoic line readings. And when Steve Zissou fears he is losing him, we feel the genuine pathos between the two. Ned simply wants to be accepted, and wants an admission of his supposed father's guilt over being unacknowledged. All I can say is Wilson does his best work ever - again, the line readings do him justice and he shares solid, magical screen time with Murray.

Cate Blanchett is somewhat wasted as Jane, though she seems to perk up whenever she's on screen with Murray. Willem Dafoe is a bit of a disappointment, if only because I wish there was more of him. Same with the terminally and criminally short appearance by Seymour Cassel, an actor who is worthy of so much more in a Wes Anderson flick.

"The Life Aquatic" is not as great as "Royal Tenenbaums" but how could it be? It is always uniquely funny, charming to the nth degree and full of pathos. There is emotion in there, not just on the surface. Think of  Wes Anderson as our latter-day Hal Ashby - exploring odd ennui with black humor and poignancy. This is something to rejoice about in American cinema, not something to turn away from.

We need help

THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (2001)

 Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
(on my list of ten best of 2000 decade)

Understatement is not appreciated much in mainstream America, especially in comedies. It is not enough, for example, for young audiences to chuckle nowadays - they need flatulence and gross-out gags of the "American Pie" variety to laugh. Wit has been replaced by in-your-face gags designed to make you puke. If that is what you love, you know who you are. "Royal Tenenbaums" is a sophisticated, dryly witty, refreshingly understated cinematic miracle in an age where there are so few of its kind. But let me warn you: it is not easy to like or digest because it is so outrageous and morose a film that you may be inclined to walk out of the theater. Do not attempt this or you'll miss out on what is surely a revelatory experience.

Gene Hackman (in one of his finest character roles) plays Royal Tenenbaum, a former litigator who served time in prison and has lived in a hotel on credit for more than twenty years. He is eventually kicked out of the hotel along with his dutiful servant, Pagoda (Kumar Pallana). Royal is a royal pain in the butt, to say the least. He is the estranged father of three prodigal kids who have grown into unhappy, unfulfilled folks. Royal abandoned the kids and his wife, Etheline (Anjelica Huston), and was practically shut out of their lives for seven years after making Margot's birthday party a bust.

The clan of the Royal Tenenbaums might qualify for anti-depressant medication. There is the adopted, morose Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow), a celebrated playwright who is so unhappily married to her husband, Reginald St. Clair (Bill Murray), a scientist, that she spends her time locked in the bathroom with a mini television tied to a radiator. Then there is Chas (Ben Stiller), a frenetic, loopy real-estate dealer whiz who practices fire drills with his two sons ever since his wife died in a fire. Finally, there is the former tennis champion, Richie (Luke Wilson), who sails around the world and dreams of his love for his adopted sister Margot.

In smaller, sharply written roles, there is Danny Glover as Henry Sherman who proposes to Etheline, Owen Wilson as the best-selling novelist of revisionist Westerns who feels connected to the Tenenbaums if only because he is a neighbor, the bellboy Dusty (Seymour Cassel) who pretends to be a doctor rather convincingly, and the aforementioned Pagoda, who once stabbed Royal to save him from himself.

"The Royal Tenenbaums" works on your nerves because the characters are all such emotional wrecks that it makes it hard to endure their existence. Writer-director Wes Anderson ("Rushmore") has not made an outrageous satire by throwing gags left and right with extreme bluntness. Instead, he tones it down, minimizes the exaggeration, and relies on such suggestive twists in his characters that you may not catch all the jokes and puns (I know I had missed a few). Anderson does something far more inspired than creating an ordinary comedy about a dysfunctional family - he makes it hard to know when to laugh or to be sad at the plight of his characters. For a comedy, that can be the kiss of death because it is unlikely to appeal to everyone. Some may mistake it for being too serious or not comedic or droll enough, or not particularly engaging enough to put up with such unlikable eccentrics.

The trick with any film is to make us empathize with the characters, to see their humanity and feel the sadness and joy of their lives. The empathy is tougher to digest in Anderson's world - all his characters refuse to acknowledge their flaws and thus it is frustrating enough to make you wince with pain. You may understand where they are coming from but you may not care because the emotional release is so purposely lacking in the film. And, amazingly enough, I was engaged by Anderson's storytelling and in-depth characterizations that it almost did not matter much whether I cared about them or not. In fact, by the end of the film and much to my surprise, I felt tremendous sympathy for the family, knowing that whatever separates them and angers them, they can still pull together and move on. Two characters admit by the end of the film that they need help.

I cannot imagine a more aptly cast of actors for this film - the wrong actors would have yielded a disaster even under Anderson's hands. Gene Hackman is simply tone perfect as the screwed-up patriarch who is willing to acknowledge his mistakes and wishes to find his way back into the family - they could care less and will not admit to their own mistakes. Anjelica Huston, one of the grand dames of cinema, excels as the emotionally defunct Etheline. Gwyneth Paltrow has such a sad-eyed clown face of despair as Margot that her role will leave you reeling with emotion - a tragedy mask that slowly unveils the hurt and the pain. The two Wilson brothers are also at their best, brimming with the right balance of pain and regret and humor (look at the hilarious footage of Owen Wilson at his last tennis match, throwing his racket to the winds. Contrast that with Wilson in a violent scene in a bathroom and you'll see how smoothly Anderson handles these transitions).

So is "The Royal Tenenbaums" a comedy or a black comedy or what the heck is it? I can't say for sure. I would say it is genre-bending, neither falling too easily in the comedy genre or the dramatic genre. It is comedy and drama but I'd see it another way - it is about pain and repressed emotional energy in a dysfunctional family that has a tough time loving each other. It is a tale told in wicked, blackly comic strokes and, as some critics have pointed out, brings to mind the brilliant author J.D. Salinger. "Royal Tenenbaums" is an original.

Endless, pseudo-spiritual journey

THE DARJEELING LIMITED (2007)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

I don't know how this could happen but I suppose every director has their bad days. It is a shame to report that "The Darjeeling Limited," though exquisitely made, is a mildly repetitious, uneven pseudo-spiritual journey that never quite finds its footing. It is a major, endless chore to sit through.

Three brothers, Francis, Jack, Peter (Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody), are traveling on the Darjeeling Limited, a train headed to India. There, they hope to find spiritual enlightenment and some peace of mind. Let's hope so since Francis had been in a bad accident and is covered with bandages, and Peter has found out that his wife is pregnant.

Things go awry from the start. No smoking is allowed on this train, so they keep their windows open. Peter has the bright idea to buy a deadly, poisonous snake and bring it on board the train, only to lose the snake! Rita (Amara Karan), one of the stewardesses, has a brief romp in the hay with Jack, who is going through a bad relationship of his own. Most of the time we hear them squabbling and bickering but only in that Wes Anderson offbeat manner where every word is uttered with a low-keyed whisper. It is a terrific technique and one of the reasons why I enjoy Wes Anderson's films.

Unfortunately, when the three brothers arrive in India, the movie sinks fast and becomes something of a bore. The Darjeeling Limited footage is so funny and so deadpan that it feels like vintage Anderson. But this trip to India involves a small tragedy and there is a linkage to the funeral of the brothers' father that is awkward and offputting. The brothers eventually meet their mother (Anjelica Huston, always a delight to watch) but, by then, this movie becomes soporific and monotonous. The brothers sit by the fire, do some spiritual dancing for extremely long stretches of film time and essentially bicker and argue, only the offbeat nature is suddenly gone. There is nothing tangible to hang onto and the characters, who were lively and animated at first, become insufferable and unendurable. And director Anderson's constant camera whip-pans, Francis endless questioning of why each of his brothers are using the phone, the importance of an expensive belt that keeps switching from one set of pants to the other and other ad infinitum gags almost made me gag and give up on the movie.

I have loved all of Wes Anderson's films, and I felt the approach between black comedy and tragedy was sublimely handled in "The Royal Tenenbaums," his best film. "Darjeeling Limited" opts for something similar in its structure but it fails to match the upbeat first half of the movie. I suspect that Wes Anderson is tone deaf on this one.

Wes Anderson's blast-off debut

BOTTLE ROCKET (1996)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

(originally reviewed in 1997)

How many more movies about Generation X-er's who embark on a life of crime by becoming bank robbers do we need to see? This is a tale told by many, signifying very little. "Bottle Rocket" could have been the same kind of movie but it has a warmth and an offbeat sense of humor (reminiscent of "The Brothers McMullen") that makes it a cut above the rest.

The film stars Owen C. Wilson as Dignan, a young brash man with a blonde crewcut who believes the only way to make an honest living is by robbing banks. He tries to form a team with the help of Anthony (Luke Wilson), who just got released from a mental hospital, and a greasy-haired rich kid named Bob Mapplethorpe (Robert Musgrave) who will drive the getaway car because he's the only one who drives. Together this trio successfully rob a department store and celebrate...by going to a cheap motel.

Money is still a little tight, and tension starts to mount. Anthony falls in love with a Spanish motel housekeeper (Lumi Cavazos, whom you might recognize from "Like Water for Chocolate"), and worrisome Bob is concerned over his brother's arrest so he splits with the car leaving the others stranded. Dignan and Anthony go their separate ways until Dignan gets the bright idea of joining a gang of thieves, led by the crime kingpin, Mr. Henry (James Caan). The threesome pair up again for yet another heist.

"Bottle Rocket" could be just another movie about troubled twentysomethings who find that crime doesn't pay, but it is far more ambitious than that. There is a certain genial tone delivered by the quirky dialogue that makes it original and clever. The performances help tremendously. Owen C. Wilson is sharp and sincere in his film debut as the naive Dignan who plans out the next fifty years of his life and his small group of thieves - he reminds me of a younger, less buffoonish Dennis Hopper. Luke Wilson plays his role fairly straight as a typically lackadaisical Generation X-er who finds himself in love with the pretty housekeeper - Wilson and the charming Cavazos have sparkling chemistry. Robert Musgrave is engagingly frustrating as Bob. He has a lot of terrific moments where he fiddles with a gun during the planning of a robbery, and one wonderful scene where he talks about his brother's troubles. James Caan seems to be enjoying himself for the first time in a while - I only wish there was more of him. Also noteworthy is Andrew Wilson (Owen and Luke's sibling) as Bob's older, brutish brother.

"Bottle Rocket" is not a great film but it is a fresher, funnier film than "The Brothers McMullen." Thanks to director Wes Anderson and co-writer Owen Wilson, the writing is crisp and involving, and the characters are vivid and true. I must confess that the first time I saw "Bottle Rocket," I was underwhelmed and didn't know what to make of it. The second viewing, I was overjoyed and entertained. It is a first-rate sleeper and a hell of a start for everyone involved.

Audrey Hepburn is giving me a haircut

ALWAYS (1989)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

Cutesy is the name of the game for Steven Spielberg's "Always," an entertaining yet highly innocuous comedy-drama. Though it is a remake of "A Guy Named Joe," which starred Spencer Tracy, it aims to be old-fashioned in every sense of the word though it retains a modern setting and the loud, whiz-bang special-effects of the typical Spielman production. It is hardly a shameful remake, but it is yet another reason why remakes are not always a necessity.

Richard Dreyfuss plays Pete, a daredevil pilot whose job is to put out fires in the Pacific Northwest. His own best pal, Al (John Goodman), is another pilot who is not as daring as Pete. They both joke and bicker in the air and on the land. Pete's girlfriend, Dorinda (Holly Hunter), is the tough, charming forest service air traffic controller. She can't stand the fact that Pete puts out fires when he could easily crash into those humongous trees or lose fuel. Anything can go wrong as proven in the opening sequence where Pete runs out of fuel and has to maneuver the plane to swoosh above the trees and get to the airstrip safely. Dorinda can't stand it any longer - she wants him to teach rather than fly. A tragedy does strike Pete early in the film, as he suddenly finds himself in what appears to be the Garden of Eden with the late Audrey Hepburn as an angel giving him a haircut!

"Always" follows the original model of "A Guy Named Joe" as Pete tries to help a dumb, husky, would-be pilot named Ted (Brad Johnson) become a formidable force in the forest fires scene. Ted has his problems yet he becomes a quick learner, and slowly starts to fall for Dorinda. This was not part of the bargain and we have many scenes where Pete tells Ted, "Hey! That's my girl pal!" Amazing that only a year later, a similar tale called "Ghost" handled such scenes with more dramatic sincerity. "Always" just seems false by comparison.

I saw "Always" in a packed theatre in 1989. Most of the audience responded to it as if it was a comedy. There are a lot of big laughs involving Al, especially a supremely funny scene where he gets dumped with chemicals by Ted on a practice session. Younger patrons couldn't stand the scenes where Pete endlessly talks to Dorinda and walked out. But there are a lot of small, precious moments like a utensil bent wildly out of shape by Dorinda while waiting for Pete to arrive; the mimicking of Warner Brothers cartoon characters by Al and Pete; Pete losing his ability to whistle when he finds himself without fuel; Roberts Blossom as some hermit who can hear Pete and mimics the engine noise of a plane; Ted mimicking John Wayne; and a priceless scene involving Marg Helgenberger (now well-known for TV's "C.S.I") who is attracted to Ted. Lo and behold, we also have an homage to Clint Eastwood's "Bird" with Keith David as another pilot - the homage figures in him laughing in one scene leading to him laughing at an airbase bar in the next scene (a nice bit of continuity).

Ultimately, "Always" is hardly exigent material. Spielberg and screenwriter Jerry Belson adopt a modern setting to an old-fashioned story of wartime morals, values and sheer whimsy (the original film was set during World War II). So we have 1980's characters speaking mostly in a 1940's tongue. In fact, Brad Johnson's Ted looks exactly like somebody straight out of a 1940's pulp serial with his bomber jacket and sunglasses (he would have been at home in the forgotten TV series "Tales of the Gold Monkey"). Pete and Al's antics may not accurately reflect real-life pilots who fight forest fires, but then again maybe Spielberg is not opting for any kind of reality - only the reality of his youth when he first saw "A Guy Named Joe." Yes, it is a fantasy but it acts as if people in the 1980's are still living in the 1940's.

Of the whole cast, only Holly Hunter is in her element as the nervy, harsh though sweet Dorinda who mourns Pete. I believed every moment Hunter was on screen because she plays a real person with three dimensions - she steals the movie beautifully. I would have liked more scenes involving Marg Helgenberger - a stunning presence on screen who proves even more charismatic. Heck, I might have replaced the overbearing John Goodman with Keith David, but only in a better world.

"Always" has enough to recommend with reservations. There are spectacular forest fires, a dance sequence underscored by "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" and there is the grand Audrey Hepburn in her last role as an angel of wisdom. Dreyfuss delivers enough laughs and his trademark quicksilver charm to get by in a largely unrealistic role. I just simply wish Spielberg really created an original story, something more imaginative and daring than to revisit the innocence of the past. I was beginning to see such a movie involving Helgenberger and Keith David where risks and imagination would have led to an entirely different movie.

Love at first bite with Langella

DRACULA (1979)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

When I first saw "Dracula" in a theater in 1979, I was taken by the moody atmosphere and the building tension. It wasn't until Lucy appeared with bloodshot eyes that I got scared and had to be taken out of the theater by my father. Since then, I finally had seen it in its entirety a few times. John Badham's version of the oft-told tale is elegant and frightening, far surpassing any version since (especially Coppola's overblown, flashy and rather creepy epic overall).

Frank Langella plays the Count with a handsome veneer and impressive charm (at least he can charm the young ladies). This Count doesn't exhibit ratlike, monstrous features nor does he have bloodshot, piercing eyes like Christopher Lee or Bela Lugosi. He is smooth and refined with eyes that slightly fluctuate, though I'd never dare say he is obviously menacing. This is an interesting interpretation of the most filmed cinematic vampire since Lugosi and Max Schreck's memorable performances 50 years earlier. In fact, I do not think Langella bared any fangs either except for one shot.

W.D. Richter's screenplay varies greatly from Bram Stoker's text. For one, the story begins at sea with Dracula on board the schooner, the Demeter, that arrives in Whitby. There he is discovered wearing a fur coat by Mina Van Helsing (Jan Francis), which may be strange to Stoker fans since Van Helsing did not have a daughter in the novel. Also, we are denied the usual meeting between Jonathan Harker and Dracula over the Carfax Abbey property in Transylvania (or maybe this is a good thing). When Mina gets bitten by good old Drac, her father, Van Helsing (Laurence Olivier), decides he wants to exact revenge against the Count. In the novel, Van Helsing merely decides to help kill Dracula based on his knowledge of vampires. Also noteworthy is the time placement of the story since it doesn't seem to be the 19th century anymore considering we see an antique car! And let's not forget that sunlight does not kill Dracula in the novel either - it merely makes him powerless during the day (at least we get a hint of that when Drac walks around his castle in daylight hours without any rays of light hitting him). That sunlight could kill a vampire is ultimately an invention of F.W. Murnau's "Nosferatu" in 1922, not Stoker's. Another odd image is seeing Dracula riding a horse on a foggy day, which means it may be early evening!

Still, this is one of the most fascinating of the "Dracula" adaptations I've seen. My favorite will always be a toss-up between the original "Nosferatu" and its remake by Werner Herzog, the most emotional of all Dracula stories. This film is not a standard horror film, though there are some horrific moments. It plays up the notion that Dracula is a sensual, smoldering, sexual creature rather than an animal with no soul. In that respect, Frank Langella (who played the role on stage) plays it up to the hilt and delivers - using his body language and his fluid lines with the mark of a real actor. He is a tall, charismatic and towering presence and brings Dracula alive with more relish and attitude than most others who have attempted the role.

Other actors do not fare as well. Donald Pleasance as Dr. Jack Seward does the best he can - I don't think he ever gave a bad performance. Laurence Olivier seems to be sleepwalking through his role as Professor Van Helsing and his confrontations with Drac are less than thrilling - he is no Edward Van Sloan. And Trevor Eve seems more suited to the cast of "The Shooting Party" than a character like Jonathan Harker. He is so bland, pale and lifeless that I swore he might be a vampire himself.

On the plus side, Kate Nelligan is a remarkably alive Lucy Seward. She sparkles in every scene and has an aura of something both romantic and mysterious about her. She is also compatible with Langella and their love scenes are dazzling. Jan Francis is a convincing Mina and seems to really come from another era. Her scary scene as a vampire (the reason I walked out of the movie the first time) is startling and unnerving, miles ahead of the pretensions of Coppola's version.

"Dracula" is not a great movie but it is romantic, lush, mysterious and beautiful (the colors are drained to such an extent that it appears to be a black-and-white film). A witty script by W.D. Richter and imaginative direction by John Badham rises this "Dracula" above most others.

You don't want to play Helicopter Hamburger?

DON'T LET THE RIVERBEAST GET YOU! (2012)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Those clever guys keep milking their New Hampshire digs for all they are worth, and boy is it delicious milk! "Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You!" is a fun-filled, deliberately tasteful comical horror film that never takes itself too seriously and gently pokes you, nudging you to believe this is all some sort of jokey picture.

The best tutor that Rivertown has ever seen, Neil Stuart (Matt Farley), has just come back to town after being derided as an RB! He claimed a monster lived in the woods called the Riverbeast. A muckracking reporter, Sparky Watts (Kyle Kochan), wrote about Neil's claims as outlandish and sheer rubbish, earning Neil the nickname of RB. He also lost the woman of his dreams,  Emmaline (Elizabeth M. Peterson), who is marrying another guy with a son who loves to play "Helicopter Hamburger." There is one person who believes Neil and his claims of having spotted the mythical Riverbeast, Allie (Sharon Scalzo), the student from finishing school whom Neil is tutoring.

"Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You!" has a little bit of everything. It's got picnic babes, babes wearing towels, babes dancing on the street corner to a guy playing guitar, the Riverbeast monster who looks likes a modern-day Gill Man, cat litter as a plot device, a little rockabilly, a harmonica-playing big-game hunter who looks for the monster in the woods, a few tastefully done murders, Neil and his friends who discuss the Riverbeast over chocolate milk and cupcakes, red flashes on the screen as a warning that the monster is nigh, etc. There is much tongue-in-cheek humor throughout and it is all innocuous fun with precious little gore and hardly any nudity (recall how I mentioned that this is a deliberately tasteful comical horror film). Also, the scenic vistas of New Hampshire and Connecticut add immeasurably to the film's slight tonal shifts, perpetuating the belief that only in a quaint small town would a Riverbeast problem occur.

Matt Farley is the star of the show, once again he has that presence that keeps you locked in on his every move. Same with Sharon Scalzo who is one of the most appealing presences I've seen since the last two outings by director Charles Roxburgh and his co-writer Matt Farley. The rest of the cast can't quite measure up but they try their damnedest.

Matt Farley and director Charles Roxburgh have delivered another tasty and delectable treat (do check out "Freaky Farley" and "Monsters, Marriage and Murder in Manchvegas".)  I have a feeling, someday, that these guys will dispense with monsters in rivers and just deal exclusively with their characters. Yes, New Hampshire, they are talents to be reckoned with. Make it a more strict love story between Farley and Scalzo, and throw in their repertory of local actors. Maybe throw in a monster too.

Very bad form, Peter Pan

HOOK (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

"Hook" is the most bombastic, depressing, overdone and highly ineffectual fantasy film ever made. What is most depressing is that director Steven Spielberg made it, the very same cinematic wizard who awed us with "E.T." This is not the Peter Pan sequel many of us have been clamoring for, and I suspect that it will always be considered a failure in every respect.

Peter Pan (Robin Williams) is now an adult and a parent. He is a successful lawyer who has virtually ignored his children and his wife (Caroline Goodall) because of his heavy workload and his constantly ringing cell phone. Peter never makes it to his son's baseball games, and is seemingly attached to his cell phone. They all go on a Christmas trip to see Granny Wendy (Maggie Smith) while Peter makes some attempt to reconnect to his family. Before you know it, Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) has kidnapped Peter's kids to Never-Never Land while the pint-sized Tinker Bell (Julia Roberts) wakes Peter up since he is unaware of his past exploits to save his kids. What does he have, amnesia? Ultimately, Peter reunites with the Lost Boys (who love to have food fights) to find his inner child. How 90's!

"Hook" is full of action but it is misdirected with overstylized, brightly lit sets that are likely to give you a migraine. Every scene is scored with thunderous overkill by John Williams and so darn loud that it will cause your eardrums to burst. Showing Peter Pan as a bloated fool who confronts mermaids wearing Day-Glo and punkish, unlikable Lost Boys who practically abuse him as if he were in boot camp is not the fanciful, magical tale I know. The ending reeks of so much mawkishness that I felt I was showered with an emotional waterfall of fake tears. And we do not have just one climax but at least three by my count. "Hook" is Spielberg's biggest folly since "1941."

Dances with Arrows, or how Gary Cooper played Dracula

ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (1991)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

As legend would have it, Robin Hood was a man of the people, one who identified with the poverty of the English people and would steal from the rich and give to the poor. His determination resulted in ongoing feuds with princes and paupers and those whom he stole from. The legend resulted in one terrific film with Errol Flynn back in 1938 called "The Adventures of Robin Hood" (it is still the definitive version). There was also the more mature, older Robin trying to have a romantic relationship with a suicidal Maid Marian in "Robin and Marian," starring Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn. In 1991, Kevin Costner and director Kevin Reynolds had the temerity to bring back Robin Hood to the screen with Costner's American accent almost intact as a sour but also determined Robin. It almost felt like the end of cinema as we knew it. Casting Costner was like casting Gary Cooper as Dracula! Yes, brave casting indeed, but could Costner do it?

"Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" has Costner as a depressed Robin with only occasional flashes of humor. His depression stems from the fact that he has just arrived back from the Crusades after a few years, leaving with a Moor named Azeem (Morgan Freeman) back to England and good old Sherwood Forest. Unfortunately, Robin's father (Brian Blessed) has been killed by the evil Sheriff of Nottingham (Alan Rickman) and now, Robin wants revenge. Plus, he decides to help several homeless Englishmen and other denizens from the Sherwood Forest and other villages who need a strong leader to lead them and grant them freedom. Who better than Robin himself?

In hindsight, I dreaded watching yet another update of the Robin legend. Patrick Bergin showed some dash but little chemistry in the TV movie that was to be released theatrically the same year as this film. Only Sean Connery came close as a fitting replacement to Errol Flynn. Costner shows little gleam - he is the most morose Robin Hood to ever appear on screen. And yet I must confess that I enjoyed Kevin Reynold's remake immensely. It is clever, witty, wicked, dark, and often joyous. It is by no means a great film, largely because of Costner, but it is a fun ride for the most part.

The action scenes have a thrilling intensity to them. The escape from the dungeon in the opening sequence (through a modern manhole!) has the nerve-wracking thrills of an Indiana Jones flick. There are also point-of-view shots of arrows flying through the air, discovery of gunpowder long before Marco Polo that results in fiery explosions, flaming arrows, swords that emit sparks when clanging against each other, screaming crones, black magic, a Maid Marian (Mary Elizabeth Manstrantonio) that knows how to wield a sword though she ends up as a scared damsel in distress anyway, double-crosses galore, evil priests and clerics, and so on. This Robin Hood is designed to entertain you in any way it can and it succeeds.

Though it contains a miscast Kevin Costner, the other actors do their best and bring some sense of style. Mary Elizabeth Manstrantonio is almost Shakespearean in her mannerisms and excellent English accent as the fierce, loving Maid Marian. Morgan Freeman excels as Robin's trusty aide who has a bigger sword than anyone in the movie. But it is really Alan Rickman who steals the show and is at his devilish, wicked best as the theatrical Sheriff of Nottingham ("Call off Christmas!"). Rickman goes over-the-top but hilariously so, he just can't believe one man and his merry band of men could revolt against him.

Director Kevin Reynolds opts for too many close-ups and so this Robin Hood tale does lack the grandeur of the earlier incarnations. Still, in terms of action setpieces, Reynolds has the right flair. The fiery forest attack is expertly done as is the heart-stopping climax where the Sheriff has a sword duel with Robin. There is also a nifty sequence where Robin fights a guard who turns out to be Maid Marian!

Overlong and nearly parodic (plus containing a "Star Wars" subplot that sure is grating), "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" is often superb entertainment and a nice addition to the Robin Hood cinematic legends. Plus, check out the grandly majestic cameo at the end by a great, iconic actor - it is one of the best cameos in history. It is such a wonderful surprise that it had audiences cheering at the end of a screening I saw, enough to wish he had a slightly bigger role.

An erotic Dostoyevskvian Woody Allen thriller

MATCH POINT (2005)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Woody Allen's "Match Point" is a chillingly absorbing character drama that slowly sneaks in suspense and thrills that pounce at you. Not unlike Allen's 1989 masterpiece, "Crimes and Misdemeanors," Woody is as adept at building tension and suspense as, say, Hitchcock was. In many ways, this is a more appropriately Hitchcockian homage than anything Brian De Palma has cooked up in over ten years with an added touch of Dostoyevsky to truly rattle the audience.

An Irish former tennis pro named Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is now giving tennis lessons at a very upwardly mobile social club. Chris zeroes in on one pupil, Tom (Matthew Goode), and before long, Chris has got his dreamy, fixated eyes on Tom's sister, Chloe (Emily Mortimer). Chris wastes no time as he marries Chloe and is hired to work at a financial corporation owned by Alec, Chloe and Tom's father (Brian Cox). Only trouble is Chris is not exceptional at his job. And there is Tom's girlfriend, Nola (Scarlett Johansson), a struggling American actress who has her eye on Chris, in more ways than one. These two start an adulterous affair that also involves massages and oils! Goodness gracious me but I do not recall the last time that Woody Allen ever featured erotic scenes in any of his movies.

Dostoyevsky's "Crimes and Punishment" (which our antihero avidly reads) is the key to the surprises in Woody's thriller. Another key is "Crimes and Misdemeanors" which "Match Point" often apes, in particular those cringing phone calls Chris receives during family visits and picnics. I have not described what Chris does in this film - it is a shocker when it happens - but let's say that immorality enters the picture. Scene by scene, Woody accentuates the moral decay of Chris Wilton and most of the film's unnerving tension (nicely enhanced by excerpts from Verdi's operas) will leave you in cold sweats.

"Match Point," however, is not nearly in the same company as the great "Crimes and Misdemeanors." Myers does not have the subtle sympathetic card that Martin Landau played in "Crimes." Myers' Wilton is a charmer but very insular and a tinge stoic and emotionless (by design, I am sure, but not even the barest sliver of sympathy is exuded). Also tough to withstand is Scarlett Johannson, an actress who has not impressed me much since her glorious work in "Manny and Lo," "Ghost World" and "Lost in Translation." In this role, she is hardly believable and doesn't resonate the harsh notes of the far more restrained Anjelica Huston in "Crimes."  A more dynamic actress would have been nice to complement Emily Mortimer, who is very believable as a happy woman who wants a child and all the privileges wealth has to offer.

Overall, "Match Point" works as an efficient thriller that grows on you. It is a very different Woody Allen film than anything I've seen from him in years. Kudos, warts and all.

An odd trifecta

FAMILY BUSINESS (1989)

Reviewed By Jerry Saravia

"Family Business" is not just a guilty pleasure of mine. It is also proof that when everything seems to go wrong in a movie (casting, story, plot), it all works in some strange way when it shouldn't. "Family Business" is one of those anomalies.

Sean Connery is a Scottish career criminal named Jessie who has just been bailed out by his grandson, a Westinghouse scholar named Adam (Matthew Broderick). Right there, something is quite wrong. Matthew Broderick's genes are not even mildly similar to Connery's. Maybe Adam is a step-grandson? Heck no, Adam's father is a wealthy wholesale meatpacker named Vito played by, wait for it, Dustin Hoffman!!!! The plot has to do with Adam's plan to steal some plasma from a scientific research lab. Easy score? Sure, all Adam needs is the codes for the several key pads to enter the building and the help of Jessie, who is all game for another heist, and the reluctant Vito who has tried to go straight for some time.

As I said, none of this technically works. The caper itself is a disappointment on a cinematic level - no "Rififi" tension here except for disabling a security guard. As bright as Adam is, he forgets crucial details during the robbery's progress. Adam's character is oddly distancing and a muddle. This bratty kid idolizes Jessie because Jessie "was fun for Christ's sake." Yep, a kid growing up in a middle-class household with a father who has tried to give his only son everything he could ever want has more fun with Jessie. Not that Connery's Jessie is not a colorful and fun character (I'd hang out with him too) but the movie endorses Jessie's (and Adam's) actions and diminishes Vito for going straight. The casting of these acting giants as one family is difficult to believe on any level. Not only that but another more pressing problem is the script's inclusion of those plasma bottles - I will not give it away but Jessie is aware of information that could lighten any sentencing after Adam is caught.

Somehow "Family Business" is an entertaining, extremely watchable film and works because of Sidney Lumet's crafty direction and subtle details (the robbery involves the stealing of chemicals and one shot shows Vito acting nervous in front of what was once Chemical Bank). The performances are all top-notch. Hoffman has many great scenes, especially one truly violent moment when he beats up a worker who has been stealing from him. Connery has his juiciest role ever and eats up the scenery. Matthew Broderick is also brilliant at playing someone way in over his head. Kudos to Victoria Jackson as a schemer who sells apartments to terminal patients and the late and highly underrated Jane Carroll as Jessie's waitress girlfriend. You still won't believe a moment of "Family Business" (and its moral center is far too muddled) but you will still have fun. 

Year of Angry Rabbits

NIGHT OF THE LEPUS (1972)

Reviewed by Jerry Saravia

Even for grade-Z schlock, "Night of the Lepus" is so poor in all departments that aim to either thrill, shock or even remotely scare that I wonder what sort of drugs the filmmakers were on.

The movie concerns rabbits who grow to mammoth proportions - we are talking "Food of the Gods"-size. How, you might ask? Zoologist Dr. Bennett (Stuart Whitman) injects rabbits with hormones to help prevent further reproduction due to those little critters destroying a farmer's crops. Unfortunately, one of the test subjects (the rabbit, that is) escapes and the injection leads to mutated, giant rabbits who begin eating people in a nearby town. This is a job for the National Guard!

Based on a sci-fi novel called "The Year of the Angry Rabbit" (the themes and content are vastly different), "Night of the Lepus" has a concept that can't possibly work, unless the rabbits are shown to be ferocious creatures with evil red eyes. Unfortunately, the rabbits are merely filmed in slow-motion wide-angle shots amidst model town replicas! The best that can be shown are the rabbits' bloodied incisor teeth! In some cases, actors are dressed in bunny suits! I pity Janet Leigh and Stuart Whitman, as well as DeForest Kelley and Rory Calhoun, for appearing in this junk. They stand around, look concerned, and utter the most banal dialogue ever written for a monster movie. To top it all off, the ending leaves the door open for a sequel. Ugh.

There is one moment I love. The National Guard stops a screening at a drive-in and announce that the town is under attack by killer rabbits. The cars promptly leave the drive-in. I have two questions: did these townsfolk think a big prank was being played on them and, secondly, why leave so promptly? Has this happened before?